Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with onlinedating and dating

should I pay for match.com platinum?

mercredi — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:08:46 -0800

[overthinking filter] Should I pay for match.com platinum? So, I think I'm going to take the plunge and pay for match.com for 6 months. Having decided that, it's a pretty nominal addition to pay for the "platinum" option that allows everyone else on the site to email you. ($22 vs $17/month).

On one hand this opens up a potentially way higher number of members, because everyone who's "just looking" can email you.

On the other, I worry that it somehow looks sorta needy. Like that if people really wanted to talk to you, they'd just sign up already.

I know I'm overthinking this. And, now I'd like your help. Money aside, which would you do? Would paying for this option send any negative signals to you? (Assume that people would know I've chosen to do this -- that's the whole point, as it lets them email when they couldn't otherwise.)

Context:
- 28 year old woman looking for men.
- looking around, about 1/10 or 1/15 of active members seem to have chosen this option.

Also, while I've read the online dating questions, I'd always be happy for general advice wading into the online dating pool.

Good online dating sites for UK people?

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:35:33 -0800

Good online dating sites in the UK that aren't cheap and tacky? I'm embracing online dating. Typically for a MeFi user, things like intelligence and even sophistication matter to me. Additionally, although it's not a driving factor in my choice, I also want to explore my sexuality and would like to make this clear, but some of the sexually-oriented sites seem pretty horrendous. I'm not after brief sexual encounters, but am looking for sexual maturity, I guess.

What sites have worked for you? I don't mind paying to join.

Good UK dating sites for people who can spell?

humblepigeon — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:26:35 -0800

Good UK online dating sites for people who can spell?

Moved too fast, how to slow it down?

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:06:43 -0800

We met on eHarmony but live long distance from each other. After a few weeks of great emails and phone calls, we travelled to the same city to meet in person, had a wonderful time and had sex. I was overwhelmed with what had happened, am not used to sex without commitment, and when I got home got carried away and emailed him to say I had decided to stop communicating with other men on eHarmony. He emailed back to say he appreciated that and that he had a wonderful time with me but he didn't say he would stop communicating with other women. And yes, I do think it's far, far too soon to expect that.

Now in the light of day, I feel like I have moved too fast and would like to take back what I said about not communicating with other men, mostly because I feel like it would be better for my emotional stability not to put all my eggs in one basket quite yet, and because I also find some of my other matches interesting. Can I do this and if so what should I say to him? We are supposed to meet again in about 3 weeks.

I anticipate a pile-on telling me that I only said I would stop communicating with others in the hope that he would say the same and that I was playing games. I swear at the time I didn't consciously see it that way but in retrospect it may be partially true. I would very much prefer answers that didn't castigate me for what I have already done but that helped me move in a positive direction in the future given that I have obviously made a mistake. Thank you.

Could anything make a nice guy less attractive?

IAmBroom — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:36:18 -0800

Unemployed and dating... Advice! So, I (and hundreds of thousands of other poor saps) got laid off recently. Eh. I've survived other layoffs; this too will pass.

I'm also enrolled in an online dating service, and fully committed to being honest with all my dates (so little-white-lies aren't an option). Let's be realistic here: an out-of-work guy is about as handicapped as an unattractive women. Like it or not, in general, men are visually stimulated, and women like successful men.

I've had a consistent, high salary, and will again. In the meantime, I'm bettering myself: trying to learn new skills, looking into starting a new business, and so on. I've decided that putting my dating life on hold would feel a bit like "giving up", so I'm staying engaged there, too.

In addition, I have some terrific use'm-or-lose'm restaurant coupons coming due in the next few months, so I can actually afford to take a lady out to dinner without endangering my budget. But first I have to get them there.

How can I present myself in the best possible light to ladies who show interest in my profile, or respond to my initial emails? I've found the question comes up pretty quickly, usually as "So, where do you work?"

Do phone calls come before or after the first date

dyslexictraveler — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:52:33 -0800

Do you talk on the phone before you go on first dates with people you meet online? So, I'm brand new in the online dating world. After putting up a profile on one of the major dating sites a few days ago I've managed to get myself into some rather long winded email conversations with several different people that I'm (potentially) interested in meeting.

So my question is, what's the next step? Do I ask them out on a date now, or is it normal to have a phone call (or multiple phone calls) first? What I'm really trying to understand is just what a typical chronology of communications looks like from the first contact all the way through meeting in person after meeting someone online.

You see, my inclination is that talking on the phone would be kind of awkward at this stage. But from reading through the previous online dating threads I see lots of references to pre-first-date phone calls, but no one addressing this topic specifically. So I'm not sure what the etiquette is here.

Help me write excellent online dating emails.

Sloop John B — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:11:18 -0800

I'm not a bad writer, but I'm really, really bad at writing online dating emails. Please give me some tips on how to write an excellent online dating email. I keep finding myself in the situation where a girl likes my profile and sends me an email, but after I respond, I never hear back. Obviously, I know how to write a compelling profile, otherwise she wouldn't be writing to me in the first place. However, I always manage to screw up the email.

I'm not a bad writer. In fact, I've been complimented on my writing by many people. However, there's something about the online dating email that just eludes me. Perhaps my tone is too formal, or maybe my emails are too long. Who knows. In any case, the result is often the same - a big, fat, unresponded email.

And so I turn to you, hive mind.

Girls - what do you look for in an online dating email? What makes you think "this guy is someone I would like to meet?" What are some specific turn-offs? How many questions should I ask in an email? How long should an email be? How can I avoid looking desperate? I promise you that I'm not actually desperate.

Guys - what works? What doesn't work? (and by "work," I mean "get a positive response that continues the conversation.")

I don't write crude, risque, or profane things in my emails. I write complete sentences and use correct spelling. I capitalize properly, and I don't use chatspeak. So no need to remind me of any of these things.

Thanks for the help.

How close is too close before you meet someone IRL?

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:35:11 -0800

Online dating issues. How close is too close *before* you meet someone in real life? So there's this guy, right. We met online, and we're definitely hitting it off on IM and on the phone. We intend to meet in person once he moves significantly closer to me, which he has been planning to do all along (before he met me). As soon as he locks down a job and a place to live he'll be moving, and to the best of our knowledge this will be by the end of the month, two tops. Until then, we're stuck with great IM and phone chemistry, and pictures of each other we drool over, and little else.

My fear is not that he's going to end up never moving - he just finished college and has been planning on doing so since he graduated. I certainly feel close enough to him already to trust him on this matter. Moreover, I worry about pouring so much of my time and energy into someone I still haven't met, even though we've been consistently hitting it off and I have yet to see or hear a single red flag. We talk online or on the phone usually for at least an hour or two every day and have been doing so for about a month now. We're both quite confident that even if we don't have physical chemistry, we'll still be friends. Yet I still worry, and more than he does.

Are my fears of possible rejection or time-wasting justified, or do I need to just unclench and enjoy the amazing connection we're already having?

Is our closeness unhealthy?

Any insight would be appreciated. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll respond via MeFi mail if you'd like. I'm posting anonymously in the hopes he won't see this. Gulp.

Nice way to say no, thanks

angiewriter — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:47:21 -0800

Occasionally, I respond to online personal ads that do not have a picture attached. I ask for a picture, and sometimes, when I see the pictures, I'm not attracted in the least to the person. Shallow, I know, but physical attraction is important to me. What is a polite way of saying this without hurting their feelings?

Dating for widows. Not the spider kind. Not the text layout kind.

Anonymous — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 21:03:17 -0800

Widow in her mid-thirties would like some dating tips... I'm in my mid thirties and my husband passed away about 7 years ago. (and no, this isn't the way I usually start conversations) I've tried to date on and off, but have not yet found anyone where there is any mutual desire to be "in a relationship". Some might say I haven't "dated" anyone, but I find that to be an ambiguous term. I date. I go on dates. I just don't sequentially date one individual.

I'm unclear on when or how to bring up my marital status. I don't generally mention it on the first date. I have mentioned it on the first date in response to questions like "So, have you ever been married?". Men usually seem shocked and distressed whether I simply state that I am a widow, or explain that I was married but my husband died. Then they usually start asking how he died, if it was expected, etc -- if I found out a man was divorced, I wouldn't start asking if it was expected, the details of the settlement, etc. on the first or second date. I usually try to steer the conversation back to getting to know each other a little better.

Friends have reassured me that men wouldn't particularly care that I'm widowed as far as making a decision to date me. I've noticed that some personals sites ask if you are interested in meeting people who are single, divorced, separated, or widowed. Many men seem to check off everything but widowed.

I think I've got a fairly positive attitude overall, and sometimes acquaintances comment on how happy I look, or that I'm always in a good mood. I'm reasonably outgoing, and don't feel that I need more men approaching me in public than currently do. I have tried to approach men once in a while, but find that their not approaching is usually a sign that they are just not that into me. I've been dipping my toe into online dating on okcupid, mainly because I felt discouraged by yahoo personals showing me profiles of men who don't want to date widows when I've checked off the box that says that's what my status is.

I've tried asking friends to introduce me to people, but I don't think this is common in my social circles, as I only met one man that way. I do a lot of activities I enjoy, and I do meet men this way, so I don't need to be told to join a club or take a class.

I make the effort to go on dates, but more often than not I don't find it to be a very enjoyable experience overall. Usually, I either don't enjoy the date itself, or I enjoy the date and wonder why I never hear from the guy again. I do pay attention to having a good balance of conversation, and even if I'm not having a great time I figure I can use the practice and might learn something.

Are men interested in attractive women in their mid thirties who happen to be widows? What and when is the best way to reveal this information?

Bonus question: Do most people enjoy going on first dates? I see that some people doing online dating want to date for "fun", and I'm not sure if that means "sex is fun" or "first dates are fun". BTW, I have no trouble at all meeting men for sex, this question is specifically about dating, as in meeting someone in a public place which would involve some sort of refreshment, conversation, and possibly some sort of activity done with clothes on.

Yes, I know there are online dating sites for widows/widowers, and they have very small memberships. Yes, I know there are support groups for "young" widows/widowers, and from my perspective these are groups of "older" widows/widowers. I've been to some, and have not found much in common with people there. Yes, I know there are online groups for widows, etc. And yes, I've already done counseling.

How to write opening emails on online dating sites.

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 11:28:56 -0800

How to send that first email in the world of online dating. So I'm on a few online dating sites. I'm a paying match.com user, and I've got a profile up on okcupid as well. I haven't been living in the area I'm living in for long, so I don't know many people.

I'm looking for tips on how to approach that first email to a woman. I'm a man, fyi. I am not really a serial dater; I'm interested in something that could lead to a relationship. I'm old enough that I am interested in settling down with the right person.

But I never know how to open. I've read some other AskMe threads about online dating, but I'd love to hear about techniques that have been effective for you. Or, if you're female, what helps a message to you stand out from the crowd?

Dating sites: Why do some work and others dont?

browolf — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:46:01 -0800

Dating sites: Some seem to work better than others. By work I mean getting interest/dates out of them. There's a lot of variance in design and functionality amongst these sites. I'm inclined to believe in the cases where the site totally didnt work there's something fundamentally flawed about them. A few years ago I spent a lot of time on dating sites, which was ultimately a successful experience. However it always fascinated me how some sites worked really well and others totally not. Until I found metafilter I didnt particularly have anyone to discuss this with. I ponder it from time to time. No Im not active on any dating sites nor wishing I was.

I was on most/all of the free sites around and a couple of paid ones and most of the social networking ones.Generally I kept my profile the same and stuck to the same strategy. In this I was a constant. Therefore either my strategy was unsuitable for the site or the site was flawed in its design.

I'm interested to hear your opinions about sites that didnt seem to work for you, particularly why you think it didnt work. By work I mean getting interest/having dates. Theres a million reasons why dating doesnt work and I want to keep that separate.

Your Experiences with Online Dating Services?

WCityMike — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:26:19 -0800

Have you used Chemistry.Com? eHarmony? Match? Etc.? I recently signed up for six months on Chemistry -- so I will be giving it that much time.

But I'm curious as to whether Mefites liked their time on it (or Match or eHarmony or fill in the blank). Basically, I'm curious to see if a consensus is going to form as to whether any particular service is particularly good or particularly bad, for the purposes of either sticking with them or moving on once my subscription runs out.

I do understand offline dating exists [obviously ;-)], but my question here is solely for people's experiences with online dating services.

Could you also in your response (if not obvious from your handle) advise me of your age group and gender, since that criteria makes a difference with such services? Thanks.

P.S. Any chance of MeFiMatch, Matt?

We have so much in common. Knowing my luck, he's a MeFite too.

aristan — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 17:43:39 -0800

I met a really great guy online, talked for hours (30+) across 4 days. We've got a lot in common, but the first in person meeting/date (dinner & a movie) went horribly when I forgot how to interact with human beings. After a couple of days of not talking we're back up to where we were: several hours of conversation a night. I'd like to ask him out again. Any suggestions on what to do or where to go? Any tips on how to actually remember to talk on a date? He's made comments that I think imply he's willing to give it another go, but it's up to me. I'd like less stress, but he's mentioned a play he'd like to see. I'm not sure if some of the hints he's dropped are actually hints. I've been told that I wouldn't know flirting if it dropped it's pants in front of me.

It appears from our interaction so far, that I'm going to be the one who does the asking out, which isn't a role I'm all the comfortable with.

I'm looking for something fun that'll let us get to know one another. I really like the guy and would love to have him as a friend if nothing else.

And just in case he is reading this...

You wanna go out Friday night?

shit or get off the pot.

violetk — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 21:29:53 -0800

OnlineDatingFilter: what's up with the non-meet-up? yes, yet another chronicle in the life of the single girl…yea!

so a couple of weeks ago i was contacted by a guy much younger than i from a dating site. i was wary at first as i didn't think i'd have much in common with him but we get to chatting on IM and we've actually seemed to have really hit it off. the exchanges vary between being extremely flirtatious to just normal but very interesting and fun conversation to almost mundane work jabber. i'm pleasantly surprised because he seems quite mature and together for someone in his early 20s. he loves the looks of me, and—tho not my usual physical type, i have to admit i like the looks of him (or maybe i am more intriqued by the fact that he is extremely attractive and he works in a completely computer-geeky field because…i like the cute dorks.).

so after a week of chatting nearly every day, we talk about meeting up but when i'd ask if he wanted to call me (because i am not a huge fan of becoming overly familiar with someone over the internets when…you live in the same town and could just meet in person because…you need to figure out if things translate in the real world) or when we were going out, he would deflect the question or give a vague answer. and then i didn't hear from him for almost a week even though he was clearly logged on at times. which started to raise some flags with me…so i emailed him about it; it's clearly stated but not rudely put which—as he had always insisted that he loved the fact that i was not afraid to say what was on my mind, i figured that would be an opportunity to get things off my chest about guys online who say they want to meet up and then disappear. normally i would let it drop because i think the usual reaction from guys should they be called out would be, "whoa, she's crazy!" so i fully expect never to hear from him again.

but after returning from being out, i see that he has sent me some IMs explaining how busy he'd been at work lately (in fact, he was there that weekend doing whatever computer-geeky thing he had to do) and he wasn't ignoring me and he'll talk to me soon. so i email again reiterating my position and again don't expect to hear from him. but then the other night he gets on IM and we end up having the usual fun conversation and before he goes to bed, he again explains he's been busy with work and with summer, trying to do things out and about and with friends and we'll talk for sure about meeting up the next time. which, okay, i totally understand. everyone's busy, you know? that's what it is to have a life. but too busy to meet up? especially with someone to whom you have already professed a great interest? he hasn't even asked for my number. i'm not sure i buy it. does anyone here buy it? am i right to assume that ppl who seem only to want to talk online are either a) in some sort of relationship so they really can't meet up or b) just like fucking around online with no intention of ever meeting? (i mean, whatever, ppl are entitled, it's just not my thing; i prefer real world interaction over virtual whenever possible.)

(and yes, i fully intend to give him an ultimatum about meeting up but just wanted to know what is the hive opinion and/or ppl's similar experiences with the non-meetups…because if you can't already tell by my previous questions, interpersonal interactions really fascinate me.)

I need a first chance to make a first impression

Anonymous — Tue, 01 May 2007 06:47:23 -0800

What should I put in my first email to someone I found on an online dating site? I've read through lots of the Ask MeFi threads on this subject (13 tagged onlinedating, 4 marked dating and online and a slew of others), but still haven't really found the guidance I'm looking for, so here we are.

I have an account on an online dating service. I log in, view lots of profiles, read about many women who seem very interesting to me, and then.... I do nothing.

I find the first email to be just as awkward as going up to a stranger in a bar, which I never do, except I know a lot more about her than if we were in a bar, and she will know more about me. In fact, it's even more awkward, because there's a lot more information in play, which means the rejection might actually be based on something. (Although, I don't always know useful information, since lots of women all share an interest in going out or staying in, dressing up or dressing down, and family and friends! But that's a separate discussion).

This is not a minor hurdle for me, for some reason. I've been a member of the site for a few years, and have only emailed or IM'd complete strangers a handful of times.

I'm not normally shy or particularly introverted. I do well in groups, and fine with individuals once I've met them. It's the meeting and making a first impression that I'm stuck on.

For those of you who have tried online dating (match, yahoo, nerve, okcupid, jdate, whateveryourkinkis.com, etc.), what makes a good first email? I'm a guy looking to meet a lovely lady, but I'm happy to hear from anyone with thoughts on the issue.

How long should it be? Should I mention if I think she's cute? Generally, I've had good luck with sincere compliments in person, but another thread said that was a generic thing to put in an email. Will that sound like every email she gets? Should I comment on specific things in her profile? What do I say about me? She can click on my profile for the basics, so I don't want to repeat it all, but it seems presumptuous to assume she's going to read the profile, right? Should I specifically ask her to read my profile? Do I say i hope she'll write back, or that I'd like to meet her, or that I'd like to chat?

And so on... I get all wound up on what to say and end up never saying anything. Help!

Online dating mysteries explained (hopefully)

kenoshakid — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 11:42:00 -0800

This question is for women who have used online dating : What are your most common reasons for breaking off an email exchange with a man who you met through online dating? Also, once you have given the man your phone number, and he calls you, what are your most common reasons for not returning the phone call? My question about breaking off email exchanges pertains to the following situations :

1) Where you sent the initial email, but eventually stopped returning his emails.
2) Where the man sent the initial email, but you responded at least once.

My question about not returning phone calls pertains to the following situation - you've emailed back and forth a few times (or IMed with each other), and you've given him your phone number. He calls you, but you do not call him back.

Both of these situations are pretty confounding, because, as the man, you never get any explanation of what you did wrong, and don't know what to do in the future to avoid the same fate.

However, the unreturned phone call is probably the most confounding situation of all. If she likes me enough to give me her number, why wouldn't she call me back when I call her? Are my voicemail messages really that bad? Or are women just fickle like that? Should I even bother trying to contact her again, or should I just give up?

How to overcome online dating questionaire writers' block?

kenoshakid — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:18:12 -0800

I have to fill out one of those lovely online dating questionaires, and am having trouble coming up with witty, charming things to say about myself. How to overcome this particular form of writers' block? You know the questionaires I'm talking about. The ones with the horribly general questions, like "Describe yourself," "Describe your ideal match," and "What do you like to do for fun?"

What's the best online dating site?

otherwordlyglow — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 11:21:44 -0800

What's the best online dating site? I've tried a bunch of online dating sites, with somewhat middling results but really want to do an all-out campaign and need some good ideas for sites to try. I'm a 38-year old female in San Francisco looking for a long term relationship.

I've tried:

Match.com - I'm sorry but the profiles here just don't speak to me. I'm currently on the site but mostly I get much, much older divorced sad guys looking for a housekeeper or a mom for their kids. I'm told my profile is good and I do make an effort to contact people I'm interested in, but so far, I'm getting nowhere.

Nerve - It used to be much more successful for me and I've met and dated a couple guys from here. They changed the way the site works in the last few years since I used it with any regularity though and now it just doesn't seem to turn up much for me. But I should try it again. I'm not currently using it though the profiles are much more interesting to me. I like a little bit of edge. Or maybe a lot.

Craigslist - I post occasionally there and have also had some success. I adore CL and use it for all sort of things but for personal ads, you do have to do quite a bit of filtering. I don't mind doing that though and so far, I think CL has been the best match for my needs even though I'm happy to pay for a commerical service too.

Lavalife: Does anyone use this for more than casual hook-ups? I was on it about a year ago and that seemed to be the only active area. I actually met a guy that I'm still friends with through this site but wonder if LTRs are really happening here.

eHarmony: I went through the massive questionaire and tried the site for a few days but found the people I was being matched with to be comepletely unlike me. Sort of like Match.com with a lot of boring people (I know that's mean of me and I'm probably not giving them a decent chance but that was really my impression)

So, yes, I know I'm very picky: I want to meet someone with a fairly cultured and urban lifestyle. Creativity and intelligence are important. Looks, not so much (really!).

So what else is out there?

Show me the "real" you.

peewee — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:42:55 -0800

What are your favorite subtle questions to ask, while in the early stages of dating, that'll help reveal some insight into the real personality of your potential S.O.? Ok, so you've met for the initial cup of coffee and that went well. Maybe you've been out a time or two since then. The conversations are past the point of "Oh, you like that too? Yes, I do. Wow, that's cool" and now you'd like to dig a little deeper, while at the same time not making them feel like they're under a microscope or being interviewed. You want to start finding out about the little, yet oh-so-important nuances of who they really are. Tell me, clever ones of Ask Metafilter, what kinds of questions do you ask?

Does online chemistry translate into physical chemistry?

helcat — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 07:53:14 -0800

So you met someone online and experienced the technological equivalent of the "thunderbolt." You found yourself in love, based only on text, knowing it was crazy. Then you met in person. How did it go? I'm asking this because I felt so insanely, bizarrely strongly about a guy I knew only through email. It ended for other reasons before we could meet, but now I'm curious to hear stories of whether online chemistry translates when people meet in the real world. Basically, I'm looking for horror stories but since AskMe isn't here just to make me feel better, let's hear about good experiences too. Just don't rub it in too much.

Match.com etiquette?

tristeza — Mon, 22 Aug 2005 14:11:16 -0800

Match.com question for the straight guys in tha hizzouse. I've posted a profile on Match.com in the hopes of meeting a man for an LTR.

I've gotten several "winks" from guys who seemed relatively interesting, so I "winked" back to them. Not a single one of them has contacted me again.

Guys, why would you wink at a woman, she winks back so she's presumably interested, too, then never say another word? Why wouldn't you follow up her wink with a quick "howdy" email for her to respond to? Are Seattle guys too wimpy to just drop a line after I've let them know there's a mutual interest? I'd love to know your thoughts if you've done this, I really can't figure it out.

Dating etiquette?

OmieWise — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 09:36:52 -0800

Half-past Thirty Dating Filter: Here I am dating at 34, and it sure is a drag. But online dating sites make it strangely easy also. I'm curious about how people think about dating etiquette. How do you balance first impressions with actually getting to know a person? What goes into the decision to become exclusive with one person? How many dates is typical before you have sex (or are substantially physically intimate), and what other factors are at play? Once you have sex what are your new assumptions about the person you're dating (that might be unspoken even if you've had a sensible conversation before sex)? In general, what is your etiquette of dating?

Although I have quite a bit of experience in relationships, I have less experience of actually dating. I have my own ideas about these things, and I've discussed this with friends, I'm just interested in other's experiences and thoughts. Particularly those of women, since I'm a man.

Oh, and I'm curious specifically about dating in order to develop a long-term relationship, not in being a player.

[If anyone offers me a ring in this thread, I promise to flag it 'best answer.']

Online Dating

slipperywhenwet — Sat, 12 Feb 2005 00:40:45 -0800

What are your experiences with online dating? [+]

Online dating diplomacy.

scarabic — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 23:04:41 -0800

Online dating diplomacy. If you decide after an email or two that you are not interested in the other person, either because the conversation is uninspiring or the pictures they send are unappealing, should you actually write to tell them "sorry, but I'm not interested?" Or is that worse than falling silent and letting the correspondence die? Some people persist if you don't respond, and ask "what's the deal? you didn't like my pic?" I honestly don't know what's the best thing to say, if anything. Honesty is not the same as full disclosure, and I just feel that random people really don't need to hear that I find them undesireable / uninteresting. I figure if I just stop writing, most people will simply write me off and move on. What do you think?