Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with oldage

How can I stop myself from shrinking?

girlgenius — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:27:12 -0800

What’s the best way to avoid or minimise losing height as I get older? How can I stop myself from shrinking?

My grandmother was 5’9” in her youth, but in old age has shrunk to about 5’2”. Some of this can probably be attributed to mild osteoporosis, but she is not particularly hunchbacked, so much of her height loss seems to be simply a result of getting older.

Physically, I am very similar to my grandmother – right down to our gait, stance and measurements, though I’m only 5’7” tall. I’d prefer not lose 7 inches off my height as a result of getting older (I’m currently 33). What can I do, now and in the future, to minimise shrinkage as I age?

Please recommend articles, essays or books about aging.

cheapskatebay — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:50:37 -0800

Please recommend articles, essays or books about aging. I recently read two essays that intrigued me. One was a 2007 New Yorker essay by Atul Gawande and the other was a more recent Men's Journal essay by Pat Jordan.

Can anyone recommend additional essays, articles or books about what it's like to age, or to be old? I'd be interested in anything remotely relevant - the article does not need not be just about men, or Americans/westerners, and it need not be focused, like these essays, on the science of aging/health care issues or one man's subjective experience of aging. Essays would be particularly interesting but I'd certainly consider books, scientific articles accessible to the lay reader, sociology texts, a primer on gerontology... pretty much anything. Both fiction and non-fiction would be fine.

Many thanks in advance.

How can I make time slow down?

changeling — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:44:09 -0800

How can I make time slow down? I turn 25 today. And time is passing so quickly, I'm terrified.

I know other people are aware of this; it comes with aging. Maybe our memories condense, like a defragmented drive. I used to feel the fear occasionally -- in the dentist's chair, for example (wasn't I just here? IS THIS PURGATORY?). But for the last year or so, the fear has always been around the edges of my consciousness. Sometimes it comes on so strong I have to force it from my mind to function.

It seems like I'm always going to bed, if that makes any sense. Discovering another day has passed.

Maybe because I'm a writer now and work from home. My days are so routine. It also doesn't help that I write YA fiction, and am always looking back analytically, wistfully. I do notice time slowing when I travel, at least in the middle of the trip (did we really take that bus this morning? seems like two days ago...)

I don't really fear *Sudden Death!* maybe because as humans, we all feel a little invincible. What I fear is increasingly swift aging, and then death. It's not the physical beauty aspect of it, although that doesn't help. It's the fear that the days and nights will keep slamming together more and more quickly. I don't fear unhappiness -- in general, I'm happy. I am just afraid of time. And, if I let thoughts linger a bit longer.... death, and the possibility of nothingness. Re: religion, I'm pretty much agnostic, though I was raised episcopalian. In a nutshell, I have doubts, and then guilt over doubting.

My questions: How do you deal with it? How can I make time slow down? I know you're not magic. I know maybe I should talk to a counselor. But I also know there are mefites of all ages who must not think about this like I do.

I know, I'm only 25. But that's what scares me the most -- if I'm already aware of the acceleration, how fast will the next ten years seem? And the next ten after that?

A friend of mine asked an elderly acquaintance about this same thing. The man's reply: "Son... nowadays, Christmas comes every month." Shit.

Stubborn Senile Grandpa Help

kaizen — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:18:11 -0800

Senile Stubborn Grandpa Filter. My grandfather lost my grandmother 5 years ago. My mom is the only one around to take care of him now. They live in Michigan. Since my grandmother's death, his mind and body have deteriorated considerably. My mother and I think he is getting / has dementia. My mom decided it was best for him to sell his house and move into senior living. He resisted this with great force, and every day he would change his mind about moving. My mother finally convinced him to move into a 'senior apartment building'. The day he moved in he said 'Get me out of this f*cking place'. He wanted to move back into the house. He is borderline incapable of taking care of himself. We hired a caregiver to come in and cook dinner for him daily and clean for him ( Who we suspect is now trying to cozy up to my grandfather for his financial generosity). The caregiver is still in contact with him.

2 months ago he fell and bumped his head. He was put in a nursing home for two weeks, and then it was decided that he would move into a assisting living facility. He moved in three days ago. Today he tells my mother 'I am getting out of this f*cking place, I hate my bed, I have my own money, I am going to buy another house, and leave this place'. My mom is extremely upset and at her wits end. She is spending a considerable amount of time and effort dealing with this situation, trying to take care of him, and dealing with his inability to see that he cannot take care of himself anymore. He is extremely stubborn. He still insists he can drive, and it is just a matter of time before he crashes into a tree. My mom doesn't have the heart to take his keys away from him. Put simply, he is a stubborn, miserable, impossible man. He refuses to get tested for dementia or alheizmers.

How can we deal with this situation emotionally and tactically? We are running the risk of him going out and writing a check for a new house, crashing his SUV into someone, or giving all his money away to this temptress of a caregiver? My mom is emotionally and physically drained. If I had my druthers I would take his keys away, and freeze his assets. But legally, I don't think this is a possibility. What can we do to keep him safe, and maintain my mothers sanity?

Worst ways to die old?

vizsla — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:03:07 -0800

What are the worst (natural) ways to die as an old person in terms of how it must feel for them? Are there ways to die for which the symptoms cannot be alleviated by medical means and it's just a completely dreadful existence until death? What fraction of people die old horribly? And if you do have a horrible terminal disease, what are the best ways to ensure you die as happily as possible?

Dealing with Dementia

twine42 — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 04:11:18 -0800

Dealing with dementia (especially Old Timers)
More, erm... thing. Oh, you know... Aren't those flowers a pretty colour? After a long, long time, my grandmother has finally been diagnosed with "a senile degenerative memory disorder, which is most usually Altzheimers". This is great for us, because it means that we finally know that it's not something like a brain tumour (which was more likely for a while).

Anyway, I visit her once or twice a week, and regularly get accused of ganging up on her (with my grandfather's help) or get the same questions over and over, followed by denials of ever having known information before. She mistakes my relationship with my younger brother (we're both in our twenties) as that of him and our father (who died two years ago).

It's hard work, but I don't deal with it all the time, so I can cope. My question is, how the hell should I react to her denials and accusations? Should I agree with her, lie to her or argue with her? It makes no difference (in a way) because it's like living the film Momento, but I want other people's thoughts.

And I know the FFP was in bad taste. Tough.

Dealing with my grandmother's dementia?

ferociouskitty — Sun, 06 Jun 2004 08:14:32 -0800

My grandmother is nearing 90 years old and experiencing increasing effects of dementia. She's been forgetful for a while, but only lately has she started mistaking individuals for others - typically, she thinks I'm a niece of hers, instead of her granddaughter. As her confusion increases, so does my discomfort. I want to spend as much time with her as I can while she's still here, but when entire conversations are filled with misinformation and paranoia (she can't remember where she "hides" money and important objects, so she thinks people steal from her), it's difficult to witness. Any suggestions on how I can get over myself?

Dog afraid of stairs

stupidsexyFlanders — Mon, 29 Dec 2003 06:27:46 -0800

'nother dog question. Last year my (now) 9-year-old dog (Lab/golden mix) became afraid to descend stairs. She stands at the top and woofs until you stand at or near the bottom and reach up to her, then she will come down unassisted but tentatively as you "glilde" her down with a sweep of your arm (OK, maybe I just do the glide because it's fun). Very occasionally she has a similar problem climbing.
My first thought was her eyesight, but if it were failing, how would I know? And the presence/absence of light seems not to matter. Can a vet diagnose vision problems?

The stairs are uncarpeted wood. Does anyone think it would help to put a carpet runner on the stairs?