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Gather round, OKC profile critics...

I know the topic of OKCupid profile critiques is polarizing. Those who enjoy picking apart profiles and judging photos, please bring your honesty and step on up. [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on Jun 30, 2014 - 32 answers

What is the most polite way to turn down a request for a second date?

So, I've jumped into online dating. It's going oddly better than expected, such that I now have a couple etiquette questions: 1) how do I politely turn down a request for a second date? He seems like a kind person and I'd like to avoid hurting his feelings inasmuch as possible, but I wasn't quite feeling that spark of attraction. Is there some equivalent of Miko's breakup talk for this that will help here, something clear but gentle? Also... [more inside]
posted by maggiepolitt on Jun 13, 2014 - 28 answers

Yet another OKC profile critique request

So far my response rate seems pretty low compared to I've heard is typical. Is there anything in my profile that might be the cause? [more inside]
posted by doctord on Jun 2, 2014 - 31 answers

I'll miss you till I meet you

This terrifies me a little bit...but I was wondering if you lovely people could take a look at my profile and let me know what you think of it. See anything I should improve? (I'm a woman looking to date women.) [more inside]
posted by zahava on May 16, 2014 - 30 answers

I know I'm not a supermodel, but COME ON

I used OKCupid successfully in my last city, a place in the Midwest with population 300,000. Since moving to NYC a year ago I have had the most dreadful luck with it. OKCupid profile critique and dating hand-wringing and angst inside. [more inside]
posted by unannihilated on May 16, 2014 - 96 answers

OKC Profile, n+1+n

So it's been awhile since I've used OKC, just reactivated the profile, and it's now past due for an overhaul. [more inside]
posted by Matched plain socks on May 7, 2014 - 14 answers

OkCupid: Why is my inbox not flooded and what's wrong with my pictures?

I'm a woman that just made a new OK Cupid account after a long hiatus. The amount of messages I'm getting are abysmal compared to when I was on the site six months ago. What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on May 2, 2014 - 49 answers

What do I do when okcupid intersects real life?

So, I was always terrified of this happening, but then I got over it. Well, it turns out I was right- eventually, if I stay on okcupid long enough, I'm going to hit the end of single men my age in my city. [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 17, 2014 - 37 answers

Let me know what you think of my OKCupid profile?

Sorry to continue the recent trend of OKCupid profile reviews, but I'd like more feedback on mine. [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Apr 11, 2014 - 19 answers

OKC Profilefilter, Part n+1

I've just gotten back on OKC after a year away. Let's critique my profile! [more inside]
posted by Maecenas on Apr 10, 2014 - 44 answers

Again with the OKCupid nonsense

I'm back on OKCupid after some time spent getting my head on straight (well, bi I guess). I'd like some third party advice on my profile. Friends are ok, but they're too nice to be really helpful. [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 31, 2014 - 52 answers

Another OkCupid profile review

Link to my OKCupid profile. I've rewritten my profile a number of times, but I'm still not that satisfied with the result. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to improve it? I'm mainly looking for casual dating, but I wouldn't rule out anything serious
posted by casebash on Mar 28, 2014 - 41 answers

Another OKCupid Profile Critique

I need some assistance in updating my okcupid profile. [more inside]
posted by cinemafiend on Mar 26, 2014 - 26 answers

Am I un-datable without a smart phone?

No, seriously. Should I buy an iPhone just to get on Tindr. And yes, I'm that desperate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2014 - 24 answers

"Am I too wacky?" - another OkCupid profile review

Loads of "hooks", as received wisdom says is the right thing to do - but does it make me sound undateably wilfully eccentric? Profile here. Any and all feedback welcome, whether it's related to my suspected issues with the profile or not. [more inside]
posted by Junebug79 on Mar 9, 2014 - 45 answers

What should a lady write to get a date?

Men of Mefi who have ever messaged a lady on OkCupid, what specifically made you want to message her, in her profile? [more inside]
posted by stockpuppet on Feb 18, 2014 - 29 answers

Married to our jobs, but seeing each other on the side

How do I avoid shop talk on dates? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Jan 8, 2014 - 34 answers

Another Okcupid profile review.

Just started a new account. Maybe you guys can help me out? [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Jan 4, 2014 - 22 answers

Online dating is a numbers game, so help me improve my numbers

Like most straight guys on OKCupid, I'm lucky if I get a response to one in ten messages I send. This would be fine if I could fire off several messages every day, but I'm running into writer's block. One-liners and templates don't work, and I rarely know how to compose a longer message to someone I know next to nothing about. (I'm a mumchance kind of guy; I'm terrible at small talk even with friends I've known for years.) Help stir my creative juices, tell me what kinds of messages have got your attention in the past, oh and why not critique my profile while you're at it. [more inside]
posted by zeri on Dec 18, 2013 - 45 answers

Am I doing something *wrong* in my Okcupid profile? Can I stop?

OKCupidFilter, sorry. I am getting dramatically fewer visitors and messages these past couple weeks. I haven't gotten a year older. I tried switching around pictures, editing answers, all the stuff I could think of to do. But, other than the "hey, beautiful lady, I hop ur write me back!" messages, I'm getting crickets. Here is my profile. (Please be nice, I know I'm older.) Is there something I can do to fix this? Or is it out of my hands? Thanks ever so much!
posted by The Noble Goofy Elk on Dec 17, 2013 - 46 answers

Ambiguous not-dating friendship

How should I interpret this man's behaviour? I met a guy on OkCupid. I'm confused by his behaviour and would appreciate some, any, insights from the Hive Mind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 36 answers

Is you is or is you ain't a possiblity?

Having read a lot of relationship/dating AskMes, I've decided rather than wait for a relationship to fall into my lap, I should try the whole online dating thing. I am finding it rather frustrating and confusing, and hope the hive mind can help me understand it a bit better. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Athanassiel on Nov 9, 2013 - 19 answers

reverse cell phone number search

How to get information about a cell phone user with just the number when nothing comes up with cursory google search? [more inside]
posted by fromageball on Nov 6, 2013 - 6 answers

How am I not myself?

I've been aggressively single for a while now and I'm ready for a change. Step One: rewrite my OkCupid profile? [more inside]
posted by modernserf on Oct 10, 2013 - 20 answers

That went well, right?

Had a great first date with a woman who seems pretty busy. She cancelled our second date, asked for a rain check, and I haven't heard from her since. What's the etiquette here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 21 answers

origin of OkCupid "How is this Site Treating You?" question

Where does "How's your luck on the site?" come from? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Sep 22, 2013 - 7 answers

A friendly rejection

What's the friendliest way to decline future dates from someone you've been out with a few times but just aren't that into? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Aug 18, 2013 - 14 answers

OKCupid filter: I need feedback for unpopular profile

Encouraged by the response to my question a few weeks ago (http://ask.metafilter.com/243294/So-many-reasons-to-keep-lovesex-out-of-my-life-Are-they-realistic), I have dusted off my OKCupid profile, but am not getting any responses. I need help! [more inside]
posted by primate moon on Jul 26, 2013 - 47 answers

Where can I meet single dads (parents) for dating?

I've been trying online dating, having been a single mom for a few years now, but I'm not finding very many single dads out there. Where are they? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Jul 14, 2013 - 12 answers

Does this profile secretly spell out "I love Charles Manson"?

I am back in the dating pool and suffering from my worst response rate ever on okc. I'm willing to accept it is just luck, or maybe age, since it's been a few years since I was last here, but I am curious if there is anything that jumps out to people who don't know me. (I've run it by friends, and they think it sounds like me, but they also already know me.) [more inside]
posted by dame on Jun 30, 2013 - 36 answers

Girlfriend met a guy on dating site. This isn't settling well with me.

My girlfriend, who is lonely, used a dating site to make a "friend" which I'm having difficulty coping with. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2013 - 81 answers

Sorry OKC, I think we need to see other people

So now that IAC has ruined OKCupid what are the best alternatives? [more inside]
posted by prunes on Jun 10, 2013 - 9 answers

Loneliness and OKCupid, part 2

A few weeks ago I, a hetero male in his early 30s, asked about dating and using OKCupid with some restrictions: no kids, no religion, no alcohol being the main ones. This is a follow-up to that AskMe, but going beyond OKCupid. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on Jun 8, 2013 - 70 answers

Help a dating n00b?

Jumping back into the dating pool and hoping for some hacks and advice specific to finding the kind of people that interest me... [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on May 29, 2013 - 25 answers

Accidental penpals

I've just started talking to this (really neat!) guy on OKCupid; I like him a lot & we seem to have a ton in common. However, we won't be in the same place until August. How do I gently steer him away from a penpal-esque situation while still keeping him interested? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 12 answers

Dating and OKCupid as a childfree loner

I'm childfree, meaning I don't have kids and don't want them. I'm also on the far end of the loner scale. I have some questions about finding a partner and using OKCupid to do it. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on May 19, 2013 - 49 answers

OKCupid reality check for a new dater

I’m a late-30’s woman trying OKCupid for the first time. Can you give me general advice, some tips on keeping my expectations realistic, and suggestions to avoid getting too much of my self-esteem tied up in whether or not Random Dude responds to me? [more inside]
posted by Ms.Stocking on May 8, 2013 - 31 answers

What is OkCupid like for men?

I'm interested in the male experience when it comes to this popular dating site. [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 26, 2013 - 36 answers

Should I keep messaging her?

I'm on OkCupd, and I've been chatting with someone who seems pretty cool and cute. We made plans to meet on Sunday, but she said she was busy but wanted to meet up later. I had a free ticket to a movie yesterday, so I asked if she wanted to come out. Again, busy, so I said "Hey, I'm free on Thursday and Sunday if you want to meet, but if not it's cool". I got a message back saying "I did want to, just got busy. Not into the attitude though so lets leave it there." The logical thing is just to leave it at that and not pursue her any more, but part of me wants to try and figure out if I can fix my mistake and at least meet up for a coffee to see if there's any chemistry there. Is it possible?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants on Apr 15, 2013 - 45 answers

What are some particularly impressive OKCupid answers you've made/seen?

There is a whole bunch of witty awesomeness decorating OKC profiles like bower bird nests, from neat extended explanations for the questions they ask, to clever attractive ways to display things that would ordinarily be considered shortcomings. What are some good examples of things you've written, or stolen, or wanted to steal, that were particularly neat? I am looking for things that would make great inspiration for a good profile. [more inside]
posted by Blasdelb on Apr 2, 2013 - 29 answers

OKC's Kiss/Kill/Marry

Have you (or someone you know) been successful with individuals who are a low match for you on OKC? I consider low to be below '80% Match'. This is assuming you've both answered at least a 100 questions. Success I consider to be at least a few months of going out. I'm trying to get a sense of whether it is reasonable to ignore contact from low-matching individuals or if those scores are just meaningless once you get to know someone in person. Should you give that person a shot or is it a waste of time? I'm not so much concerned with the friend or enemy score.
posted by who squared on Mar 31, 2013 - 32 answers

Not-OK Cupid

I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

Where to go on a first date in Pittsburgh?

27 year old straight male living in Pittsburgh. I'm doing the OkCupid thing. I would like to go on a few dates, but I don't know where to go for a first date. Elsewhere on AskMe, people have said that a first date with someone you met on Okcupid should be brief compared to a first date with someone you've known in person for a while. Makes sense. I could put together an awesome date that was three hours long, but when I try to think of something short and sweet, I'm at a loss. [more inside]
posted by UrbanEye on Feb 5, 2013 - 18 answers

Communication in the early days of dating

What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new? [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on Feb 3, 2013 - 6 answers

Should I cancel my date?

I arranged a date with one guy, then had another absolutely fantastic date in the interim, & really want to focus on that. Should I cancel the other date? [more inside]
posted by littlegreen on Jan 24, 2013 - 19 answers

Did I just commit a hugely embarrasing Okcupid gaffe?

I disabled my Okcupid account. When it asked Why? I checked "I met someone on Okcupid." This is true. I'm seeing 4 someones from Okcupid - obviously nothing serious or committed and all in early or very early stages of exploration. Four is overwhelming enough without tinkering with the site further. When the form asked who I met, I listed all four. After hitting submit I realized with terror that there is a chance okc might somehow notify these fellows that I listed them as "met someone." Please tell me I am wrong.
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2013 - 8 answers

help how does this work

So.... how does okcupid work for gay/bi women? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 15 answers

putting the trois in ménage à trois

Where to find thirds? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 22, 2012 - 10 answers

Contacting a person on OKCupid a second time, after they'd left and returned?

I messaged a woman, who seemed a fantastic match, on OKCupid. She didn't respond, and 2-3 days later deactivated her account. Some months later, she shows up again in my favorites list - same profile reactivated, again listed as single. The optimist in me thinks that last time I messaged her was perhaps just unlucky timing and she might be more interested now. Is this an exception to the general rule of "message a woman exactly once, and, if she doesn't respond, write it off and move on"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2012 - 34 answers

They are interested. Why don't they respond?

Someone "chose" me (rated 4 or 5 stars) on OKCupid. What should be my next move? [more inside]
posted by 3FLryan on Sep 28, 2012 - 26 answers

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