I’m a late-30’s woman trying OKCupid for the first time. Can you give me general advice, some tips on keeping my expectations realistic, and suggestions to avoid getting too much of my self-esteem tied up in whether or not Random Dude responds to me?
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posted by Ms.Stocking
on May 8, 2013 -
31 answers
I'm on OkCupd, and I've been chatting with someone who seems pretty cool and cute. We made plans to meet on Sunday, but she said she was busy but wanted to meet up later. I had a free ticket to a movie yesterday, so I asked if she wanted to come out. Again, busy, so I said "Hey, I'm free on Thursday and Sunday if you want to meet, but if not it's cool". I got a message back saying "I did want to, just got busy. Not into the attitude though so lets leave it there."
The logical thing is just to leave it at that and not pursue her any more, but part of me wants to try and figure out if I can fix my mistake and at least meet up for a coffee to see if there's any chemistry there. Is it possible?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants
on Apr 15, 2013 -
45 answers
There is a whole bunch of witty awesomeness decorating OKC profiles like bower bird nests, from neat extended explanations for the questions they ask, to clever attractive ways to display things that would ordinarily be considered shortcomings. What are some good examples of things you've written, or stolen, or wanted to steal, that were particularly neat? I am looking for things that would make great inspiration for a good profile.
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posted by Blasdelb
on Apr 2, 2013 -
29 answers
Have you (or someone you know) been successful with individuals who are a low match for you on OKC?
I consider low to be below '80% Match'. This is assuming you've both answered at least a 100 questions. Success I consider to be at least a few months of going out. I'm trying to get a sense of whether it is reasonable to ignore contact from low-matching individuals or if those scores are just meaningless once you get to know someone in person. Should you give that person a shot or is it a waste of time? I'm not so much concerned with the friend or enemy score.
posted by who squared
on Mar 31, 2013 -
32 answers
I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 18, 2013 -
21 answers
27 year old straight male living in Pittsburgh.
I'm doing the OkCupid thing. I would like to go on a few dates, but I don't know where to go for a first date. Elsewhere on AskMe, people have said that a first date with someone you met on Okcupid should be brief compared to a first date with someone you've known in person for a while. Makes sense. I could put together an awesome date that was three hours long, but when I try to think of something short and sweet, I'm at a loss.
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posted by UrbanEye
on Feb 5, 2013 -
18 answers
What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new?
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posted by toerinishuman
on Feb 3, 2013 -
6 answers
I arranged a date with one guy, then had another absolutely fantastic date in the interim, & really want to focus on that. Should I cancel the other date?
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posted by littlegreen
on Jan 24, 2013 -
19 answers
I disabled my Okcupid account. When it asked Why? I checked "I met someone on Okcupid." This is true. I'm seeing 4 someones from Okcupid - obviously nothing serious or committed and all in early or very early stages of exploration. Four is overwhelming enough without tinkering with the site further. When the form asked who I met, I listed all four.
After hitting submit I realized with terror that there is a chance okc might somehow notify these fellows that I listed them as "met someone." Please tell me I am wrong.
posted by anonymous
on Jan 16, 2013 -
8 answers
I messaged a woman, who seemed a fantastic match, on OKCupid. She didn't respond, and 2-3 days later deactivated her account. Some months later, she shows up again in my favorites list - same profile reactivated, again listed as single. The optimist in me thinks that last time I messaged her was perhaps just unlucky timing and she might be more interested now. Is this an exception to the general rule of "message a woman exactly once, and, if she doesn't respond, write it off and move on"?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 9, 2012 -
34 answers
Someone "chose" me (rated 4 or 5 stars) on OKCupid. What should be my next move?
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posted by 3FLryan
on Sep 28, 2012 -
26 answers
Should I (and if so, how should I) reveal to my upcoming quasi-blind quasi-date that I look different than he expects me to?
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posted by mauvest
on Aug 21, 2012 -
44 answers
My ex is showing up on my recently visited list on Ok Cupid without me having visited his page. What could be going on? I just changed my password but I'm 99% sure no one knew it before and I wasn't signed in anywhere else. I browse anonymously and I've 'hidden' him so he shouldn't know of this profile's existence (created post breakup). Wtf?
Does anyone know the algorithms here well enough to tell me what the hell could be up?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 11, 2012 -
13 answers
On dating sites/OKCupid: Once I get past the initial introductions, where do I go in the conversation? Alternately, could it be something in my profile that encourages people to not respond past the initial reaction?
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posted by CrystalDave
on Jul 5, 2012 -
20 answers
My experience with OKCupid has been somewhat frustrating. What can I do to improve my profile?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 1, 2012 -
45 answers
My OkCupid profile--any suggestions? And what's the best way to initiate conversations with women?
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posted by Willpower
on Jun 29, 2012 -
51 answers
Advice needed to transition back into casual and not-so casual online dating after a long time.
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posted by anonymous
on May 25, 2012 -
8 answers
Last fall, I
asked you guys for some help with my OkCupid profile. Your advice worked really well for me! I've changed a fair bit since then and now that I'm getting back into dating full-time I'm going back for round 2 with the hive mind.
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posted by modernserf
on May 2, 2012 -
18 answers
Disregarding anything weird on my part in my OKCupid messages: what criticisms or observations do you have of my profile and pictures that might be able to explain my response rate?
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posted by SollosQ
on Apr 18, 2012 -
56 answers
How important is it to have the perfect OKCupid profile? What might be wrong with mine?
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posted by veryblue1
on Apr 16, 2012 -
74 answers
Please teach me the etiquette of online dating/meeting people when there are just too many choices.
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posted by tryniti
on Mar 6, 2012 -
14 answers
PhillyGayPhilter: Online dating through OkCupid hasn't been working out well for me, but I'm not quite sure how else to do it now that I'm out of college. How do I meet other young-ish gay men in Philadelphia, in either meat-space or alternative digital pastures? Anxieties, personal details, and candy within!
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2012 -
10 answers
Getting started in the local kinky / Fetlife community - with a real-life reputation to keep completely disconnected. How to do it?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 24, 2011 -
20 answers
I have been using OkCupid for a few weeks with no luck. And I do mean
no luck -- meaning, nobody will even
talk with me. Is there something wrong with my profile? Something wrong with
me?
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posted by Azazel Fel
on Oct 3, 2011 -
105 answers
This is kind of a follow-up to
this question about seeing people on OkCupid that one knows offline in some capacity. I have a similar situation but an added wrinkle: I work with my potential match. Is this a good idea to pursue him or not?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 29, 2011 -
16 answers
I've recently made chit-chat with an attractive barista at a coffee shop I frequent, mostly about the writing group I meet with there and a band we both like that she was playing over the sound system one day. This past weekend I signed into OKCupid for the first time in awhile, and she's one of the first matches that comes up for me. So now not only do I know that she's single, but that we both like several other bands, authors, shows and movies. We actually have a good bit in common. Do I exploit my new-found knowledge of her to make conversation in person (which is publicly posted, and it's not like I went looking for it), or do I message her on OKC in a "fancy meeting you here" sort of way? Which is less creepy?
posted by Zorz
on Jul 26, 2011 -
40 answers
