Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with ocd

How can I be more sane?

nimufu — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:25:19 -0800

Every few months (or less), I develop some sort of new phobia. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous (which I recognize), but it is very difficult for me to overcome these fears. What can I do? I apologize in advance, as I am sure this is going to end up very long.

To give a little bit of background, my family has a history of mental instability. No one has ever been committed, but both sides of my family suffer from anxiety and depression and OCD (or OCPD).

About two years ago, I was diagnosed with a benign, but disabling, neurological disease. There is no cure, and treatments are typically hit-or-miss. It took about a year until I finally started to feel better. I lost about 1/4th of my body weight because I was too sick to eat. I felt so ill and was in so much pain that daily, I either felt (a) I was dying or (b) that I wanted to die. Suffice it to say, it took a big toll on me mentally, and when I think of how bad it was, I'm amazed I even got through it.

Around the time that the symptoms of my illness began to appear, I started to have terrible anxiety attacks. I've always been an anxious person, but I had never had a panic attack, to my knowledge, until that point. The day after I had my first panic attack, I started to develop really weird phobias. I also started to develop what I guess to be OCD.

At first, I was convinced that all of my food was poisoned. I would check all of my food and my drinks to make sure they were thoroughly sealed, and even if they were, I would think maybe someone tampered with it while in processing. Eventually I got over that, because I had to eat (or die), but I still check all of my food before I eat it.

Following that I heard a story on the news about a boy dying from amoebas. Cue amoeba phobia. Showers and baths became terrifying for me. If I got water up my nose, for several days I would be worried. Again I got over that, because I shower every day and I'm still alive.

Now I'm afraid I'm going to become disfigured or that I am, in some way, just going to die in some random terrible accident. This phobia has worsened my compulsions. I don't know if it's OCD because I don't have any "rituals", per se, but whenever I do something, or think of doing something, I'm afraid of the outcome. Like I'll think, "I can't get out of bed yet; if I get out of bed now I'll be disfigured/something bad will happen." Or if I go to get myself a snack, and there are multiple choices, I feel like if I pick the wrong one, I'll be disfigured or something bad will happen, leading me to get really frustrated and skip eating the snack at all. If I get in an argument with someone, regardless of the situation, I'm afraid I'll be "punished" by some unknown force for being a bad person. Just about every action I do, or am about to do, I think to myself, "If I do this (or don't do this), something bad will happen." It pretty much gets in the way of living.

Part of the fear of disfigurement is due to the fact that I am 24 and have never been in a relationship (I was physically/verbally abused as a child and my mother/step-father had a violent relationship when I was growing up, so it has taught me to just pretty much be terrified of ever dating). I know if I could address that issue, my fears would probably lessen, but I'm even afraid to go out sometimes or sign up for a dating site online because I'm afraid maybe I'll be disfigured by doing it. Also, I'M A TOTAL MENTAL CASE IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED and I'd rather not put anyone through that.

There is no one I can talk to about this; I'm not going to dump these problems on my friends, and my family is pretty unsupportive (when I told my mom about my fear of disfigurement, she just laughed and walked away). In fact my family is pretty much awful sometimes and they just add to my stress.

I know I need to see a therapist, but I'm in a really bad financial situation due to expensive medical bills and having to figure out how to bring income in by working for myself (my health is unreliable so I can't hold down a job). So while I am saving up to see someone, it's going to be awhile before I can afford regular sessions.

What I'd like to know is what self-help resources are out there that I can use to my benefit until I can see a therapist? What self-help booklets, workbooks, videos, et cetera, do you recommend? If anyone has had any problems similar to mine, what helped you to overcome your phobias/anxiety/psychological problems?

(P.S. I have tried a number of anti-anxiety drugs and I have had bad side effects with all of them, some even making me more anxious. I'd really just not go down that road again.

Also, my mental problems are not due to my neurological disease. Anxiety is one of the symptoms listed, but it's usually a side effect of HAVING the condition; the disease itself does not cause it.)

OCD Isn't Funny. Right?

dzaz — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:02:58 -0800

How do I (or do I) politely explain to people that when they laughingly say they have OCD (because they want to be tidy or whatever), I find it truly insensitive? Perhaps I'm being oversensitive, but I've got a kid with OCD and it's no flippin' picnic like "Monk" or that real estate jerk on Bravo make it out to be.

OCD is a serious neurological disorder and I just get mama bear pissed when I hear a friend (or colleague) make an offhand comment about someone acting "all OCD."

OCD ain't funny. My teenage daughters say they hear this constantly in school from teachers about kids who have neat binders or clean lockers and as they live with someone who's been hospitalized because of his OCD, they don't find it too amusing, either.

Am I being a trifle oversensitive, or is there a nice way to say to someone, "That's really not funny."

Help me find a biography of a man with OCD.

Wordwoman — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:36:27 -0800

Help me identify a book about an amazing Italian man with obsessive compulsive disorder. No less than 20 years ago, I read a biography of a man in pre-World War II Italy with a debilitating fear of animals and ritualized strategies for avoiding them. I don't believe the term "obsessive compulsive disorder" was ever mentioned, as it was decidedly not about symptomatology or "what it's like to have OCD." Instead, the essence of the book was the man's dignity and essential worth, untouched by his "disorder." This book changed my life. Please help me find it again.

Where's Mr. Dot? There he is!

mikesch — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 11:38:56 -0800

Will a laser pointer break my dog? I used a laser pointer as a dog toy for the first time yesterday and my 8 month old cocker spaniel seemed to love it. After I put the pointer away though he spent the next 15 minutes looking around and sniffing for the dot. After some poking around on the internet it looks like there's some fears that it might cause permanent OCD and anxiety.

Is this something that's too dangerous to play around with at all, should it be used sparingly, or are people being just overly cautious and there's nothing to worry about at all?

The dog is otherwise normal and doesn't exhibit any other neurotic behavior.

Note: I'm well aware of the potential eye damage that laser pointers can cause if accidentally pointed directly at the eye, I'm just asking about the mental health aspect.

That Boy Needs Therapy

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:06:51 -0800

I'm a male in my early twenties who has washed out of college and is looking for a mental health professional of some sort in Northern Virginia. Issues I feel are likely to come up are my (long-ago diagnosed) attention deficit disorder, depression, and some form of OCD - I have a deep and (likely irrational) fear of psychosis and other impairments of cognition. I am deeply wary of psychiatric drugs, and want to work with someone who shares my attitude toward them, but would recommend them as a last resort. So what I'm after is some sort of talk therapy, preferably with a medical doctor (as oppose to "just" a PhD). I think would prefer CBT over other modalities. Freud, Jung, Lacan and their ilk aren't for me, but anything else is fine.

For private messages: M8R-sshtxg@mailinator.com

Help for a child with compulsions

serazin — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:42:56 -0800

A child I know and love appears to have behaviors consistent with OCD. I'd love to hear your personal experiences with treating or adapting to this condition/way of being. I'm not looking for diagnostic advice - this child is in the process of receiving evaluations from an MD and a psychologist (although if you have advice for specific questions that should be asked in these evaluations, that kind of suggestion is welcome). I am interested in hearing from folks who either have this condition, have always suspected they have this condition, or are close to people who do, and hearing your stories. Specifically, what support did you or would you have found helpful.

Thank you!

How can I deal with my acute feelings of shame?

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:45:14 -0800

I feel intense, acute, brief episodes of shame every day, several times a day. What can I do about them? The frequency varies, but the few times I attempted to count, I got an average of about 5-10 such episodes per day. These are unbidden, intrusive thoughts, and very, very intense: say, 8/10. I've been diagnosed with GAD and social anxiety disorder, and these episodes almost always center around real or imagined social and/or moral transgressions. Some of them are staggeringly minor, when compared to the amount of distress they cause me. They are minor social gaffes that I committed years ago, things that I'm positive no one but me remembers: For example, introducing two people who happened to already know each other. Thinking about my more severe regrets and mistakes also triggers this shame reaction, though. It only occurred to me in the past few years that this might be unusual - it's been happening to me for as long as I can remember.

I am in therapy, and I have brought this up to my doctor, who suggested briefly that such repetitive, intrusive thoughts may be symptomatic of OCD. We have not talked about it at length, mostly because I find the idea of recounting these episodes that cause my feelings of shame to be ... shameful. I have no behavioral compulsions (hand-washing, turning off the stove, etc), except for a habit of repeatedly checking to make sure I haven't lost anything, even when I just already checked, when I'm outside my house. It doesn't really interfere with my life, though: I still go out, and it doesn't cause me much distress.

What can I do about this? I've flirted with vipassana meditation, but I generally found it made my anxiety worse. My usual reaction to these episodes is to try to push them out of my mind, but I've seen some recent research on thought suppression that suggests that's actually quite counter-productive. I don't know how to overcome that strong "stop thinking about this now" reaction when confronted with such intense, negative feelings. Is there something else I can try? Have you experienced this?

Side effects of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

pauldonato — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:31:51 -0800

Are there really no side effects to cognitive-behavioral therapy? Has anybody had a bad outcome or weird experience? The reason I ask is that I discovered CBT in 2004. Rather than forking over money to a therapist, I just read how it worked and tried applying it to myself. I found that it made me over-think my anxieties and in one case, aided me in putting blinders on myself in a situation, thereby making it worse.

Fast forward to now, and I can see that there are many many studies showing that CBT is effective. I'm using computerized CBT, and I've been reading a lot about how it works (literature I couldn't find five years ago). Needless to say, I think I'm excited about it, and think that I won't run into the same abuses and mis-applications that I had before.

However, after a few initial sessions this time around, I did notice some anxieties crop up. For example, one of my "warped thoughts" is "I can't relax otherwise I'll get screwed up." I went through the process of disputing that, and afterwards I started to relax but I also felt nervous about my relaxation. It almost reminded me of how I feel when taking Xanax. It's like, "this feels good, I'm relaxed. Oh wait, relaxed means danger!"

So my question is, are there any bad side effects to CBT? Are there any ways to abuse it?

Yeah, I know. Just hit "send"!

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:48:47 -0800

I have a hard time sending e-mail (psychological, not technical problem) When I'm writing e-mail messages, I have a really hard time clicking the "Send" button. This used to be no problem at all for me, but some months ago it started and since then it's getting worse and worse. I read mails over and over, check attachments, change stuff, and then basically just stare at them for a considerable timespan, i.e. more than just a few minutes. This is getting really annoying. I know that I just have to hit "send", but --- I can't! This wastes a lot of time, sometimes more than half an hour.

Of course this is worse with mails that are really important (like when I apply for a job or something), but I have the impression that the problem is now spreading to other areas - it takes me ages to send off even inconsequential, silly little messages to friends. Basically, it's OCD behavior (like checking the oven again and again although you know it's switched off).

I don't have any other OCD-like problems. I used to be in treatment for moderate depression, but my depressive phases are now more or less under control, and not correlated with this problem. On the contrary, it's easier to hit "send" when I'm depressed, because then I don't care so much.
I have no problem with sending physical letters, blog posts, facebook stuff or posting in forums, it's just email (although that might change soon, who knows...)

Do you know this problem? Do you have practical suggestions how I could get rid of this (ideally, without going into therapy, because I just finished three years of therapy for my depression and am not in the mood for further soulbaring)? It's so silly - I can literally feel my heartrate going up every time I want to send a stupid email, and then it's like paralysis!

[Anonymous because I do not want business contacts/employer to know about my embarrassing psychological problems]

Why do I obsess about this?

supercoollady — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 08:24:23 -0800

Obsessiveness Filter: I fixate on and plan obsessively about moving to new (specific) places, and I'd like to know why. Here's the situation: I have mild depression with anxiety and take medication for it which helps a lot. However, periodically I do something that I find odd and that I can't find specific references to in information about OCD, depression or anxiety. I pick a place that I might vaguely like to move to, and become obsessed with planning every detail about it. More about me: I live in a NYC and have a good life here--good job, good husband, good dog, good apartment. We're planning on moving out of here at some point but we don't have a definite plan for where or when.

Every now and then, I come across some scenario in which it seems like life might be better/easier/more relaxed and (this is a big one for some reason) where we might own a house. This seems reasonable--but rather than thinking about it in a rational way I usually become completely obsessed with it (to the point where I can't sleep at night), assume it's DEFINITELY going to happen, and not brook any criticism of the idea. These are big, life-changing moves, not moves to another part of the city or the suburbs (although I do that too to some degree...as in the case of our near-move to the Bronx).

So here's my question: I'm sure this is a manifestation of some disorder I'm carrying around in my teeming brain...but what? And why do I choose places to live to obsess about? Finally, DOES ANYONE ELSE DO THIS? I hope I'm not the only one in the world...

Can't Bring Myself to Pay for a Data Plan! Help!

Willie0248 — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:58:55 -0800

RidiculousFilter: How can I make an extra $30 a month to ease a psychological itch? Details inside!! I decided that I want an iPhone. I see them all over the place and they look so fun and useful that I simply cannot live without one. Alas, my psychological barriers won't allow me to pay the extra monthly fee for the data plan. :(

I've conditioned myself to avoid unnecessary recurring fees like the plague in past attempts at frugality. Of course it never really helped me save money - I still bought (and buy) single items all willy-nilly, which is why I don't have a problem buying an iPhone in the first place. Just the extra monthly cost associated with it.

So in order to trick myself into willingly paying the extra $30 each month, I need to make an extra $30 each month. Here's the hard part - I can't just save that thirty dollars elsewhere. I need to perform an action that results in $30 or more being paid to me so I can look at the check (or deposit notice) and think to myself, "Well there that offsets the extra data plan cost! You can feel better now!" Oh, and I'm salaried so just putting in an extra hour at work wouldn't... uh, work.

Am I being neurotic about the whole thing? Yeah. Should I just get over it and pay the measly thirty bones? Probably. Should I skip the iPhone if I feel I can't afford it? Most definitely! But I don't care. I want that beer drinker app so bad I can taste it.

So what can I easily do to score a $30+ paycheck every month? Help a crazy walk around with an unnecessary, trendy electronic gadget!

P.S. Bonus points for covering the rest of the cell phone bill as well.

How can I cure my handwriting problems?

kitfreeman — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:42:05 -0800

How can I cure my handwriting problems? I have serious problems with my handwriting. I hate the sight of it, even my signature. It's awkward, ungainly, and inconsistent. This makes life hard, especially if I have to write something that will be seen by others (and in my job I frequently do). It’s not unusual for me to write dozens of drafts, even of a signature. And, of course, the more conscious I become of my writing, the harder it becomes to produce something with which I'm happy. I’ll do pretty much anything to avoid writing by hand. It's not that I want my handwriting to be beautiful -- I just want it to look fluid and consistent.

There are two aspects to the problem. One is mechanical; I've never acquired a settled style. At elementary school (in the UK) I was taught italic, but the emphasis was on calligraphy rather than fluidity, and I developed a bizarre, extremely angular style, which was slow to produce and hard to read. At high school I was forced to give this up and adopt an upright cursive hand. I never really mastered this. My writing became large and clumsy, and I began to hate it. I started to avoid handwriting and use a word processor wherever possible, and lack of practice only made the situation worse. I've never felt I have a style that is my own, and the size, shape, and angle or my letters varies hugely even within a single word.

The other aspect is psychological. I suspect there is an element of OCD in my attitude to my handwriting (the perfectionism, the writing and re-writing, etc.). I have some symptoms in other areas, too, though nothing like so bad.

This seems to be a rare problem, and it's one I feel rather ashamed of. It is serious, however. I get extremely distressed by my handwriting, and the problem is interfering with my job. I'd be hugely grateful for advice on how to tackle either or both aspects of it. (By the way, the problem isn't to do with handedness. I'm naturally right-handed.)

Temporary email: writingproblem@gmail.com

If I knew what it was, I might know how to fix it

dino terror — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:42:39 -0800

I have some kind of mental health issue along the lines of OCD and/or OCPD and I need some help fleshing it out. (Long) I have seen doctors and other specialists and will continue to do so, but right now I am making use of this excellent resource that is the hive mind: A coupe of years ago I posted this question about feeling like I was messing up my mind/brain from kind of forcefully and obsessively trying to solve certain philosophical problems, and fast forward to today, this problem is fully blown and I get it all of the time from thinking about anything, and the closest thing I can relate it to is OCD and/or OCPD. Essentially what happens is that I have trained myself to be so completely productivity oriented that if I am not ‘doing’ something, checking something off of my to-do list in some way, I become very uncomfortable. And when there is a problem to solve, I just can’t get it out of my head. Even sometimes after the problem has been dealt with I still can’t stop ruminating on it. And with problems that have kind of thwarted my attempts to solve them in the past, even the mere thought of it sends me mentally right back into that psychologically unbalanced state that I get into when I am trying to figure something out relentlessly from every possible angle.
From my book on OCD with a little blurb on OCPD: People with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder tend to:
- be excessively dedicated to work and productivity (I am majorly hell-bent on productivity to the point where it is 'obsessive' and unhealthy)
- be perfectionists (not really)
- be preoccupied with control (not really)
- be self-righteous (not really)
- demonstrate excessive frugality and fear of spending money (i am willing to spend a lot on something worthwhile, but otherwise I am excessively frugal. all of my possessions i consider to be tools and if it doesn't 'do' something, its in the garbage.)
- exhibit rigid, rule-bound thinking (no)
- have a reduced need for friendships and leisure versus work (i by choice have no social life so i can be more productive, and i don't really do 'leisure', i just 'take breaks' and ride myself to get back to being productive)
- have an excessive need for orderliness and rules (i dont care about rules, but i do keep things pretty organized but i don't consider it to be OCD levels of organization)

And for OCD, my book dinstinguishes between obsessions, compulsions and preoccupations. ‘An obsession is a persistent, unwanted thought, image, doubt, or urge that intrudes into your mind…’ ‘Preoccupation means being absorbed with something troubling that’s on your mind. Preoccupations are usually the result of you frequently focusing your attention on an idea or doubt that is distressing to you.’
So I don’t identify at all with obsessions or compulsions as described with regards to OCD but preoccupations hits the nail on the head. However I can’t find any reference to preoccupations anywhere outside this (CBT for dummies) book. It’s obsessive compulsive disorder after all, not obsessive compulsive and preoccupation disorder. So as you can imagine my OCD for dummies book had nothing that could help me as I do not suffer from intruding thoughts of doing harm to others or compulsions to wash my hands over and over.
So I think in the name of productivity I re-shaped the way I think towards something unbeknownst to me as resembling some kind of thinking pattern that has to do with OCD / OCPD. But only perhaps a specific kind of those afflictions so I am having a really hard time figuring this out. I understand that treatment is probably the same regardless: antidepressants, CBT, mindfulness, meditation, etc. But damnit if I don’t want to know exactly what I have and whether other people have the same type of thing and how they dealt with it.

Living with OCD

simplesharps — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:27:47 -0800

I'm moving in with my girlfriend, her brother and his girlfriend. He's been diagnosed with OCD. How can I make the best of the situation? I'm not sure exactly what his obsessions & compulsions are, but as an example I know he often has real troubles getting to places on time. I'm unaware of others but I'm sure there are more.

How can I be a positive rather than a negative influence in his life? What resources should I read to learn more about this condition? Thank you!

How I learned to stop worrying and love the Human Papillomavirus

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 09:03:28 -0800

Why does a healthy adult keep getting warts? How to prevent? How to cope? I’m 24 years old, relatively healthy, and seem to be uniquely susceptible to warts. I also have tendencies towards obsessive-compulsive behavior, and lately, I’ve been showing symptoms of depression. I’d really appreciate some medical information and psychological counsel, as well as some personal anecdotes.

Right now, I have a very small wart on the bottom of my left big toe, and something that seems to be developing into a wart on my left thumb. Probably wouldn’t be a big deal for most people, but it’s affecting me pretty significantly, especially this last discovery with the thumb. I keep looking at it constantly and prodding it and seeing if there’s any new development.

In the past, I’ve had warts crop up here and there, which have thus far been eliminated (after a lot of stress and multiple different treatments were thrown at it), with the exception of my most current warts, obviously. Even the giant plantar wart that was three inches in diameter (pretty amazing, really) was eventually eliminated with cantharidin treatments my freshman year of college.

Still, these warts take their toll psychologically, and recently, I’ve been led to do some thinking. It strikes me as odd that a healthy adult, especially one with OCD tendencies, would keep getting warts like this. So my first question would be: is there anyone who, as adults, have or have had the same problem? My guess is that there are, but I’d like to hear about it.

Second, is it even worth stressing over warts like this? What are the real dangers of having warts? Also, should I now be keeping my thumb covered at all times? Because I more or less did that for my foot (although I have been going to bed barefoot) and yet here I am with another wart, on my thumb, of all places.

Which leads to the third question: is HPV pretty much everywhere? Because I was originally going to ask a question a while back on MeFi about how to kill/inactivate HPV on surfaces, like the floor, for instance, but I’m now led to believe the attempt would be futile and impractical. Am I right? Am I to worry about shedding on my instrument (a string instrument, so made of wood and covered with varnish)? (Viral shedding, not shredding.)

Fourth, anything else I should be aware of, from a medical standpoint? I’m wearing flip-flops in the shower, drying my feet (which I didn’t do before, figuring I was safe). I’m treating my toe with salicylic acid and waiting on the thumb. Anything to help my immune system?

Fifth, probably the most important. As I mentioned, this latest discovery of the possible wart on my thumb has gotten me pretty down. I guess it’s partly because I was more or less coming to terms with the one on my foot, which seemed like it was on its way out, and now I have this new thing on my thumb, which is worse, since I’m a musician and I work with my hands. And let’s not forget the fact of my dealing with OCD.

Now, I’m thinking these are the thoughts, conscious and subconscious, that are running through my head:

I shouldn’t be getting warts.
In a just world, this wouldn’t happen to me.
I did everything and it didn’t make a difference.
Nobody else seems to be getting warts. Especially not the cool kids, who seem so worry-free.
These warts are going to get worse.
These warts are going to multiply.
They’re going to get on my hands, my face, and my groinage area.
I’m going to turn into the treeman like that guy from Indonesia. (Probably unlikely.)
I’m going to contaminate the things around me, especially my instrument.
I won’t be able to do my job.
I’ll keep passing them on to myself.
I’ll pass them on to others.
I’m going to have to deal with this stress, with treatment and “quarantining” and just the general fact of having warts, for months to come. (I’m stressing over stress.)

Now, these are examples of distorted, irrational thinking. I think. I mean, some of them might have an ounce of truth to it, but it’s getting magnified and twisted beyond what’s reasonable. I haven’t gotten beyond Chapter 4 of David Burns’s The Feeling Good Handbook, so my final question: how do I deal with these thoughts? How do I learn to stop worrying and love the Human Papillomavirus? Any help would be welcome. Repeating “It’s not your fault” like Robin Williams might not hurt, either.

If you made it this far, congratulations. I’ve put hours into editing this, and because I have so many questions and now would just like some answers, I’m posting this as is. Thanks for any help with any of the questions in advance. IANAD disclosures for the medical questions would be appreciated.

Postscript:
I really don’t know if this thing on my thumb is a wart or not. I noticed some rough skin on the nail groove, next to the nail, and I pruned it with a nail clipper. It’s still a bit hard, so, I really don’t know. I wish I did.

As for why I’m not seeing a professional psychiatrist, it’s because I’m cheap, and due to my circumstances, geographic and otherwise, it’ll take forever to get an appointment, and it’ll be expensive, and by the time I get an appointment I might not be here.

My obsessions and compulsions arise mostly out of thoughts dealing with contagion. I didn't originally respond to the notion of actual germs, just the notion of general filth, passed on by touch (ad infinitum), but since moving, I've noticed that my thoughts started dealing with actual pathogens. Less so now, but it's become a factor.

Now that I’ve thought about it, I’ve pretty much gotten warts while I was away from home: away at college, away at a summer program, and now while I’m in Europe. So stress seems to be a big factor. Doesn’t make it easier, though.

Help me be more anal.

sweetkid — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:35:49 -0800

I need to be MORE anal and ocd about my work, in a productive way. I have been having problems lately turning in work with typos, sloppy, etc. I look it over but DON"T notice it. It's embarrassing, I look bad, people feel like I wasted their time, etc, etc, etc. Things like rows not lining up in Excel, and today I took two different versions of a document to a meeting thinking they were the same. Not fixing dates. Missing little things. My boss notices everything, and I'm embarrassed. What happens is I start holding onto work for a long time trying to make sure it is perfect, which obviously just compounds the problem because then it looks like I'm not working AND doing sloppy work. The thing is, I do light user acceptance type QA and always catch things others miss, I'm very smart and capable, learn quickly, always have had excellent grammar and editing skills, etc. What habits can I learn to fix this? Or is this a mental block of some kind? I will walk into a meeting thinking everything's ship shape, and something is cut off in my document or I forgot to reorder something in my notes. HELP. I am very organized otherwise--everything in folders, etc.

How to maintain a great relationship between an artist and a business man?

InterestedInKnowing — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 11:34:34 -0800

Can a "low-functioning" artistic person like me maintain a great relationship with a "high-functioning" creative business man? I finally understand why me and my hon, have certain disagreements and arguments. It pops up when my principles and artistic views clash with his principles and high-functioning personality. It also affects the way we see things, such as when I make a joke, and the times he doesn't laugh or he will simply not see what I see at times. But for the most part we run on the same lines of what is fair to people and our judgments about others are the same. We both love music and share some likes in each others choice of genre. We have great political and deep discussions about life, family and friends. He is obviously great with money and I am fervent with handling my finances properly. Most of the time we are funny and laughing at the same things. He is very imaginative like me. So basically we are cool together with spots that need improvement.

There was a time, however, in our second year together where he had no idea of the OCD I was going through and saw my delayed, low-functioning level as proof of me not caring. He would sometimes criticize me for not being on his level with being consistent in areas that were important to us as a couple. He finally understood that was not a way to approach me because I don't take too kindly to coach-like tactics. He has apologized for acting like an ass and is happier knowing the real person I am instead of me willing myself to be something I am not comfortable with however, some of our discussions will turn into arguments because I feel that he can over-do it with the motivational can-do talk instead of flowing and relaxing with me. I sometimes feel his certain ways of thinking can be so opposite of what I believe in which has me anxious and then my obsessional thoughts creep in. And it also stems from my childhood of always being an awkward kid whom all the high-functioning children disliked because they saw me as annoying and stupid because it took me a bit longer to grasp a logical problem. So, after I graduated and then went to high school, I made sure I hung with only students on my level and we used to have a great time. I felt great. When I met my boyfriend, part of me knew he was one of those "high-functioning" individuals who might dislike what I have to offer. Well, he didn't dislike most of what I offered but when he did, he made it clearly known which was something I was not used to and rightfully so, made me upset because I felt he was acting spoiled.

Now, I love him to pieces and despite it all we still grow with each other. I just want to know how to understand and be right with him not being on my same level of artistry or function when our clear differences show up occasionally? How can I relate to my boyfriend better and how can he improve his relations with me? Anybody ever went through this as well?

I can't seem to hang onto anything.

wastelands — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:18:25 -0800

I am a purger. How do I stop throwing away so many things and start collecting? I suspect most people with OCD are hoarders. I am the opposite. My friends admire me for how minimalistic, organized, and "Zen" my home and computer spaces are. Yet, the flip side is that I constantly throw away things that I later regret tossing. This includes important items too, like a recent state employment department letter.

It's crazy, I know. My first reaction when cleaning house is not, "How might this be useful in the future," but instead, "Is there any way I can get rid of this?" I am completely unsentimental and merciless in purging things. A few years ago I canned a newly-purchased $250 watch because I became tired of winding it every day. I gave away a 5.1 speaker system to a neighbor when I felt the wires were unsightly.

I have improved since then; however, I still admire greatly people who can do what I can't yet do: build gigantic collections of music, books, coins, photos, whatever.

For example, I read a lot. I'd like to have a book collection so I can reference previously-read books, show people who visit my house what I'm interested in, etc. Despite reading hundreds of books in my lifetime, my current collection is a mere ten books... and even those are in danger! I'm sorely tempted to sell them for cash/trade value. They're just sitting around! It bugs me. It feels wasteful, and it takes a tremendous amount of discipline to not get rid of them.

I'm especially interested in hearing from people like me, because I don't know anyone who "purges" like me. I'd also love to hear from people who have big collections, people who can explain the mentality of how one goes about acquiring and retaining things in a deliberate, organized fashion. Thanks!

Nobody told me when I went on antidepressants that my brain might asplode.

GleepGlop — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:51:08 -0800

I am getting Brain Zaps from my SNRI (effexor at 150mg) meds and am headachey and I want to get off the meds. Help me figure out how best to proceed... I am taking this stuff for OCD and anxiety. The anxiety was kind of an isolated episode but the OCD with emphasis on obsessive and not so much compulsive is shall we say more permanent.
I am working on CBT and mindfulness as an alternative to medication but I haven't gotten very far. Meanwhile these brain zaps are making a medication which I questioned whether it was even doing anything for me not worth being on.
I think weaning myself will be tricky and as these brain zaps aren't even well understood by the medical community any personal experiences would be helpful.
My doctor is great, but of course I want to compile my own information to supplement her guidance.

Did I write a title? Yes.... but did I? Yeah. Let me make sure one more time....yep!

nitsuj — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:08:13 -0800

How can I stop second guessing myself? I constantly second guess myself on stupid stuff. For instance:

-I'm at the airport, and I check my boarding pass to see that it says my plane takes off at 5:00 PM. Five minutes later, I check again just to be sure. And then another five minutes a check again, because you know what if I was wrong the first time?
-I'm in the car, pulling out of a driveway. I look left, then right, then left again to be sure, then -- why the hell not? -- I'll check right one more time, then left again, then go.
-Etc.

I never really second guess myself on bigger decisions, it's always these small, pointless things.

Is this some form of OCD or similar thing? What can I do to trust myself in these situations more?

STD aren't the only "bugs" I fear catching

sixcolors — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:19:02 -0800

I fear that my OCD will interfere with my sex life. I am a complete germaphobe, I have been since I was little. I wash my hands around 20 times a day. I have a stash of antibacterial wipes and Germ-x gel, for the times when I’m no where near a sink. I avoid crowds during flu season. I was diagnosed with OCD in my mid teens, and was prescribed Zoloft. It didn’t help me at all, and I discontinued after a year or two.

I have a hard time eating something without washing my own hands. It is even harder to be physically intimate with other people, fearing that I will pick up germs. Germs that can make me sick in particular. For this reason, I have an aversion to oral sex, I have an even bigger aversion to making out. Many times I flat out refuse to make out. Giving and receiving pecks on the face or anywhere else on the body is fine and I enjoy it, but not sticking my tongue in someone’s mouth.

I hate being like this because I think it’s positive to be open-minded about various sexual practices, and I want to please whoever I’m messing around with. Has anyone had this problem? How did you cope?

OCD treatment questions

Anonymous — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:48:12 -0800

A few questions RE: OCD treatment Hi folks...so I had a relapse of what seems like OCD. In college about 8 years ago I had a few tough bouts with fears of being gay, or of being a pedophile - common OCD worries. They lasted a few months, finally I got some Buspar from the school doc and these worries eventually faded away. In 8 or so years since then I have not had OCD. I do tend to get very worried or anxious over real life problems, like expensive home repairs or work stuff, but that is occasional, although probably is excessive.

About 1 month ago I started to obsess over whether I thought my gf of almost a year is pretty enough. We're real serious and heading toward marriage. things are great. I worried over having thought to my self briefly in the past that "she not pretty in that pic" or such things. Before starting to date her i told someone "she's not the prettiest girl in the world." that all made me feel bad, i got obsessed with the thought then just looking at her made me anxious sometimes because i would focus on different parts of her, rather than just relax. i truly believe she is pretty, and am very attracted to her.

OK, so anxiety and hopelessness got worse and worse with this, and this past weekend got real bad. lots of anxiety, feeling it would never get better, made it hard to work. i went to my family doc yesterday and he said "sounds like anxiety and depression" and gave me lexapro. it may be placebo, but last night after taking it for the first time i felt less anxious and then today felt less anxious too. it almost seems like the thoughts have faded, but i still feel uneasy about them, and they are not intruding very much, and certainly not as strongly. this may be placebo

I saw the psychologist today, and he said sounds like OCD that I have. next week we go through some kind of tests to determine severity and details of teh obsession, then he says he'll make a 90 min tape for me to listen to every day, for what is called "flooding." after a few weeks of this i will not even want to think these thoughts, he said. then we do more cognitive stuff, helping me learn better thought processes etc.

i am a bit freaked about doctors as i had a few bad experiences in the past. Does anyone have experience with flooding, should i get a 2nd opinion? I don't want it to desensitize me to my gf, or to how she looks and the like. just guilty thoughts.

He didn't seem to have much to say about the drug i'm on or how that might work with the treatment. it should reduce my anxiety and guilt over these thoughts. I wonder if i should see a psychiatrist to make sure i'm on the right drug while doing this treatment.

it's weird today, the thoughts seemed faded, but still there. i don't want to go through this treatment if the meds will interfere.... Just checking to see what the hive mind thinks! It's hard to relax and take the right steps when you're feeling worn out by this stuff!

How can I get less wackadoodle when I meet someone I really like?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:55:03 -0800

How can I be more relaxed, and less anxious (read: totally flipping out) about dating people I like? I'm wondering if people have any suggestions for managing really strong feelings for someone they just met, so that they can get to know them slower and be able to maintain some sense of rationality in their normal life.

I find, when I meet a woman that I really like, and feel like I have some chemistry with, that I'm totally emotional and sort of out of control. That used to be a euphoric kind of excitement, and I suppose I was ok with that. I felt excited and positive, even if I felt like I was riding in a car with no breaks.

I'm 32 and I've been burned by love a couple of times. And find that my somewhat freaky excitement in the early stages of a relationship have turned off women in the past. I feel like it's definitely a turnoff. I think I've toned it down a lot, although I'm worried now that I act more disinterested or kind of weirdly awkward around a woman I like, for fear of scaring her off, to the extent that she's either confused of my intentions or thinks that I want to be friends. That baggage has turned the euphoric feeling to a total feeling of dread and doom. I would really like to not feel this way.

I have a really hard time managing all this. And sometimes feel like I'm the only person with this particular problem.

A particular problem is with the telephone. Between the time I call said person, and the time I get the return call, I tend to be a total mess. Sometimes I need to let them leave a message, so I can recompose myself and calm down. [I'd love some female perspective on how they feel about returning calls and what seems reasonable time wise, in terms of how long they take to get back to someone.]

Another specific is how to deal with the ups and downs of getting to know someone. I spent about 24 hours with someone this weekend in a non-dating situation (no nookey-we made plans to meet up at a festival we were both going to). We've talked a bit about dating so I think we're somewhat on the same page. There were some really lovely moments hanging out with her. But I probably won't see her for at least a week and maybe more, and now I feel super down and anxious.

I've met a couple of women recently that I've felt really compatible with, and each time I get really anxious. I'm not sure exactly what to do. I don't want to pass them by but lately all this emotion is controlling my life more than I feel comfortable.

I'm also open to the idea that lot of this is normal, and I should just suck it up.

PS I have some mild OCD which certainly contributes to these, well, obsessive thought patterns. I can generally manage the OCD but I think with someone I feel really strongly about, my body and mind are probably freaking out on endorphins or something like that so much that it's much harder for me to control.

Thanks for any advice, aneqdotal or otherwise.

Pschologist or Psychiatrist in Columbus, O?

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:46:06 -0800

Anyone know a good psychologist or psychiatrist in Columbus, O? In fact, which might be better? Dealing with some anxiety and OCD. Had a bout of this in college, concerns about sexuality and some of the other very typical OCD worries. I managed, with little knowledge of this stuff, to get over it, although only after a busparin prescription calmed me down a little. No therapy really, to speak of, just the prescription from school psychiatrist. Anway, it has returned lately. In a wonderful relationship heading toward marriage, and low and behold, relationship substantiation OCD kicks in. It sucks. i'm thinking of starting with a psychologist, don't want to take drugs if i don't have to. I'm a little scared though, I want someone good. Anyone know of anyone in Columbus, ohio?

Why do people park next to me in open lots?

dinger — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:09:36 -0800

Who are The Fillers, and why are they after me? When I have to park in a large parking lot, at a grocery store or mall, for instance, I try to park in an open area well away from the crowd of cars clustered near the entrance. I find it saves time over circling around looking for that great spot, and I like the idea that, over a lifetime, I'm getting miles more exercise than I otherwise would. But most of all, I do it in an attempt to keep my car from being dinged and dented by adjacent car doors.

Trouble is, more often than not when I return to my car, some sad soul has felt the irresistible urge to "fill" in the spot next to me, even in a sea of open spaces. Who are these Fillers? Does this happen to you? If you are a Filler, WTF? What is it that makes you uncomfortable with a lone car parked away from the others? Do you have other compulsions? Why do you do this?