Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with obesity

I want to lose 100 pounds. Where do I start?

Anonymous — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:01:15 -0800

I want to lose 100 pounds. Where do I start? What can I expect? I've just finished with my exams, and New Years is rapidly approaching. I keep putting this issue off, but no longer: I need to lose a substantial amount of weight.

About me, and my weight:

I weigh about 300 pounds. I have a large frame, and I'm about 6 feet tall, so I would be a big guy regardless, but I don't need to be this big. A BMI calculator says I have to weigh 185 pounds to be in "normal" range, but to be honest, I would be very happy at 200 pounds.

I'm 26 years old. When I was in high school, I was very overweight, at about 275 pounds. I managed, over two years, to drop to about 240 or 230 pounds. Then college ended. I had a job, followed by graduate school. It was harder to exercise, I ate more takeout food. (I eat a lot of take out food). Not making excuses, just explaining what happened. I also developed some anxiety issues, and started taking Paxil. Either because of the anxiety, or the paxil, I've put on another 40 or 50 pounds over the course of a year and a half, leaving me where I am today.

I think I use food as a comforting device: I eat when I'm stressed. I especially eat a lot for dinner. Sometimes I think I have trouble feeling satiated.

I want to fundamentally change my relationship with food. I don't feel terrible about my appearance, so that's not the issue. But I want to be healthy: I want to live a long time, and obesity has a plethora of bad long-term effects.

Where do I start? My therapist has said: "The paxil might be some of it. Finish your first semester exams, and then we can worry about it." Well, it's time. I'm going to talk about changing medications, but I am convinced that is not the whole of the equation: I was overweight before the anxiety issues. I've discussed my weight issues with my primary care doctor as well. He says "Its partly due to the paxil". He says it's an issue, and to lose weight. I guess it's helpful for him to identify it as an issue, but that alone doesn't seem enough to motivate me.

Well I'm looking for some guidance. Should I look for a nutritionist? Someone I should visit readily? Should I join weight watchers? How do I keep myself focused? How do I keep myself motivated? (Sometimes the goal seems so unattainable I begin to feel hopeless). What should I expect? I would love to hear from anyone who has dealt with weight issues before.

Handling Drippy Food with a Non-Straight-Lined Torso?

WCityMike — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:40:23 -0800

I'm by nature a person who likes to keep myself looking neat. I'm having a logistical problem with that. At the moment, I'm also very heavyset, meaning that, geometrically, I have a slope going from neck to waist, not a straight line. (A slope that no doubt will continue to steepen as I progress towards that personal goal, but nonetheless, a slope.)

This means that anything that possibly could drip (and even the neatest food seems to have something that can do that) is pretty much guaranteed to land on my shirt, no matter how careful I'm trying to be.

Stuffing a napkin near my neck not only looks a little inherently stupid, but it also usually doesn't provide adequate coverage.

I can't be the only person to experience this, given America's obesity rates and men's workplace formalwear, or given the presence of the bust for women.

(Parenthetically, I'm asking this because some workplaces where I'm applying for work require a shirt and tie – slightly unusual for my particular level – and given that dress shirts can be expensive, I'd like to be limiting the number of stains to as few as possible.)

Any tips?

Should I keep taking Adderall?

dumbledore69 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:00:35 -0800

I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD (inattentive type) and put on Adderall. I have very, very mixed feelings about this -- hopeful, because it seems to really be helping me in multiple areas of my life, but also anxious that it is a crutch that I can't use forever. Does anyone have any insight or anecdotes to help me either (1) feel better about being on Adderall, or (2) come up with an alternative plan to manage my issues? I am a 30 year old woman and I've struggled for most of my life with depression, severe anxiety/stress, and obesity. I've also, for as long as I can remember, suffered from the extreme inability to get my shit together, which often leads to the depression & anxiety that then lead to the emotional eating (pretty much eating for a fix) that I do.

I have always been smart enough to get by and do fairly well despite half-assing everything due to disorganization, inability to concentrate, and inability to get my shit together. For example, in 5th grade, my teacher wanted to put me in remedial math because I never did (or could find) my homework, despite my having been in the 98th percentile in the math portion of that year's standardized test. In high school, I never did my homework or studied, ever. I was in all honors and AP classes, and somehow managed to get a 4 on the AP Lit exam without having read a single one of the assigned books that year. I got into a good college and nearly flunked out both my freshman and sophomore years because I didn't study or attend class, but made it up junior and senior year by overloading classes to make up what I failed and switching majors to one that would better allow me to use common sense and BS to coast.

Now I have a good job and am a part-time grad student, but I struggle to keep my head above water. I know it isn't because I'm not smart enough or competent ... if I have a month to work on a project, I will struggle to do the research and planning at the beginning to do a good job. I will flounder for 2-3 weeks, and then panic for the fourth week, pulling together whatever I can to cobble together a passable result. Usually what I consider passable is plenty good to my employer or instructor, but the thing is that I can do so much better than what I am giving, and with so much less stress.

Not to mention that my home life is a mess. I am constantly forgetting to pay bills, losing important papers, leaving my house a mess (and not knowing where to start), starting exercise programs and then abandoning them because I am too overwhelmed with the rest of my life, budget, and work....

I've tried all kinds of methods for getting myself back on track. I am great at both implementing and making up my own systems for being organized -- schedules and charts and checklists. Oh God, I live for that stuff! But as soon as I create something and MAYBE follow it for a little while, I get distracted or overwhelmed and drop the ball and am back where I started.

And I'm miserable! I have so much to be grateful for, and yet I spend all my time being fat (100 lbs overweight), depressed, stressed, and overwhelmed. Antidepressants (celexa & trazodone) have helped, but only to an extent.

After talking with my psychiatric NP, she screened me for ADHD and found that both the results of the test and a family history (my dad & brother are ADHD) and my descriptions of my school life and adult life point to inattentive-type ADHD. She prescribed me ritalin, which I took for 3 weeks and simply felt sleepy on, and now Adderall, which truly seems to be making a difference. Suddenly I can concentrate and do alll the things I previously would think "ugh I need to do that", and then forget about or put off indefinitely.

AND. Suddenly I am losing weight.

I have been able to stick to my workout program and have felt no emotional triggers to eat over the past few weeks. I actually have almost no appetite at all during the day, which is a first, since snacks have always been the best interruption to getting anything done.

Which is great, right?

But I'm worried. I have a lot of weight to lose, and I have lost before and regained. I have read stories of people abusing Adderall to lose weight (which is NOT my purpose) and then regaining it once they go off almost immediately. I just do not want to lose weight "artificially" only to regain it when/if I go off Adderall. And I don't see myself being on Adderall forever. In a few years when I am done with school, I'd like to have a baby, and I certainly can't take it while pregnant or breastfeeding.

I am really just hoping that I can use Adderall as a tool to get me back on the right track in life. I never, ever learned to be organized, to keep my house neat, to keep my budget in check, to eat right, to do my work consistently instead of at the last minute. If I can focus now and get myself into a routine, and get my life in order, and keep it in order for awhile ... am I going to lose all that if I don't keep taking Adderall?

So, does it sound like I am doing the right thing by taking it? Am I going to have to pay later on for using this tool to get my life together now? Is there anything else I should be doing or plan to do to make the most out of this?

I'm sorry this was so long...I am just so stressed and anxious.

How can I make a move of my unhealthy mother to San Francisco be successful?

fourmajor — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:03:45 -0800

I would like to move my schizoaffective, obese, diabetic, IBS mother to San Francisco from Maryland so I can help manage her health and get her healthy again. What resources should I look into? What problems should I anticipate? My mother lives in Maryland, where I grew up, while I live in San Francisco. I have lived here for four years. Her health is slowly but surely getting worse and I would like to move her close to me so that I can go to medical appointments, help her grocery shop and eat better, go on walks with her for exercise, etc.

She is currently in a program in Maryland that she goes to several times per week, and also gets housing through them (with four roommates with similar mental and physical health issues). She is on Medicare, and she receives disability and social security money, about $1000/month. My brother and I will be covering the balance of her expenses.

I will be taking advantage of any and every free and discounted program I can for her. What do I need to watch out for? Are there programs I should know about? Will there be significant issues with her being a new resident of California - ie: will she have to wait a year or something before being able to take advantage of certain resources?

Thanks for any help you're able to provide. Also, I am sure there is plenty of other information that I could offer here that I'm just not thinking about.

Help me find graphic details of health problems for overweight people

Gobo — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:53:13 -0800

To keep myself motivated to loose the extra pounds, I'm looking for links to videos (or image heavy articles) about health problems caused, or made worse, by being being overweight/obese. Much like some of the anti drink-drive commercials, I want to get myself thinking "look how bad it could be if you don't sore yourself out". So the more graphic/detailed the better. I'm guessing that video will have a stronger emotional impact on me, but articles with a lot of images should be good as well.

Weight gain causes amenorrhea because...?

starbaby — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:45:14 -0800

How does weight gain cause you to stop having your period? I was on two medications that cause "massive weight gain." I have since come off of them, but in the meantime, I gained about 30 pounds in about three months. As a result, I have not had a period in 90 days or so. I've been to my GP, who ruled out all the thyroid/anemia/bloodwork-related causes. I have been to my gyno, who pretty much just said, "it's the weight gain."

So now that I know the cause, I'd like to know how it works. Why does weight gain or loss cause changes in your period? It's my understanding that I am probably not ovulating, and that's why my period isn't happening, but why does obesity cause anovulation?

And, finally, if I am not ovulating, is there a lesser chance of a horrible, month-long period when it finally does come back? I'm sure hoping so.

Picking a healthy weight after extreme weight loss

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 21:08:16 -0800

How do I know if I'm at a healthy weight, given some complications? Background: I'm a woman in my mid-30s. I'm about 5'5. Due to chronic illness, I gained a huge amount of weight in my 20s. About 6 years ago, I weighed 235 lbs. Over the course of a year, I lost about 50 lbs through moderate exercise and a pretty restrictive (but safe) diet. I then went on to have two children, the second by C-section. In the past year, through weight training, increased activity and breastfeeding, I dropped to 160 lbs. For three months, my weight has fluctuated from 158 to 162, from week to week, in spite of me eating 1600-1800 calories while breastfeeding a toddler 2-3 times a day and exercising a fair amount, including weight training.

Recently, a close friend took me aside and said that she did not think I needed to continue dieting. This friend is a doctor. She said she is concerned that I have become dysmorphic.

I pointed out that my BMI is a bit more than 26 and that my waist is 33" and that all the online calculators say I still have a lot of body fat and a poor hip/waist ratio. I noted that I also have a small frame and that I thought it was reasonable to drop to 135 lbs.

My friend, who is a doctor, said that she feels I am dysmorphic because I have been dieting. She also said that she does not think I understand what two children, a C-section, and extreme weight loss would make my stomach look like. She said that she thinks my stomach fat is not fat but instead excess skin. She also said that I have extremely muscular legs and that I should consider that I'm still breastfeeding and have a 34J bust. She said that I may also have increased bone density from carrying extra weight for several years. For these reasons, she feels my BMI and waist measurement are not "right".

My personal trainer said before that I have legs that most of her clients would have worked years to get -- if at all. She said there is not an ounce of fat on them. I am now into size 6 pants, although I have a serious muffin top. And I'm in a 34J bra, so I'm pretty trim around the chest.

My friend, the doctor, said that continued dieting could have long term implications for my health and that she doesn't think it's a good idea. She said my body will probably hang on to 10 or 15 lbs till I stop breastfeeding and that she thus thinks I'm already at a healthy weight. My personal trainer has said before that most of her clients hang on to 10 or 15 lbs till they stop breastfeeding.

Is there some way to tell if all this is true? I would have thought I should be aiming for 135 lbs. I will go see my own doctor, but I suspect she's either going to think about the BMI and measurements or else she's going to agree with my doctor friend, since she isn't a specialist in weight loss.

Is there any standard for figuring out if your BMI and waist measurement are thrown off by a history of obesity? Thanks.

Hanging real low all over?

beautifulcheese — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:54:19 -0800

I am morbidly obese and honestly one of the things holding me back from attempting to lose the weight is sagging skin. I saw a little of that when I last shed 60lbs and this time I have 100 to lose. Will the sag through diet and going slow be as extreme as I have seen on tv with weight loss surgery. I cannot afford plastic surgery afterwards that they all seem to need.

Footcare for a non-bendy person.

ninazer0 — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:07:16 -0800

A dear friend of mine is morbidly obese. He has a variety of medical issues which are mostly being addressed. He has several related issues that are not - mostly hygiene related. Help me help him. (possible squick inside). He has acute lymphoedema (swelling due to pooling fluid) in his lower legs and is constantly suffering from cellucitis (infection of the sub-dermis). However, because he cannot bend over (he can touch his knees...just) he cannot apply creams to the affected areas or handle dressings and wound coverings.

Worse still, his feet are totally uncared for and I believe it's affecting his health. His nails are long and cracking (one had cracked off and was bleeding when I was there last), the skin is flaky and dark - either from dirt or just the build-up of dead skin. Because his feet are also swollen, he wears sandals and the soles of his feet are calloused and his heels are cracking. What he needs is a podiatrist, but he can't afford one. I'd volunteer to give him a pedicure (I deal with my mother's crusty feet, so no biggie) but he is touchy about needing help and I don't want to make him more depressed than he already is.

Ideally, I would like to purchase products that will let him take care of himself, but I cannot seem to find anything suitable. Long-handled nail clippers exist but they just aren't long enough. And is there even a device that allows you to rub creams and so forth on hard-to-reach places??

I've got a loofah on an extra-long handle for scrubbing but need help with the other stuff.

I'm in Australia but would be willing to import products if necessary.

Help!

Why Is Obesity Help Often Excluded By Health Insurers?

WCityMike — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:26:28 -0800

Why do medical insurers treat obesity different than other vices? Not a GYOB (I've got one); I literally don't understand the facts of the situation. What do I mean? A moment's thought yields thousands of examples every day where medical insurers cover medical treatment that helps people recover from the aftereffects of their own choices. Childbirth. Smoking. Heart attacks. Lacerations incurred while drunk. (And accidents caused by drunk driving.) Alcohol and/or drug rehabilitation programs. And so on. We make mistakes with our body every single day, and they incur a medical cost to our body's well-being. Most of those medical costs are alleviated by insurance.

But medical services available to help people recover from the aftereffects of obesity seem to be almost specifically excluded. Nutritionists? Nearly always excluded in every plan I've seen. Physiatrists or sports medicine for medically safe exercise? Ditto. Removal of large amounts of loose skin post weight-loss? Some people have navigated their way through appeal processes into coverage, but it's not covered without great effort and trial.

What puzzles me is that preventative and "repair" treatments has got to be more cost-conscious than paying for heart bypasses, etc., so it makes from the ultimate viewpoint that means the most to these companies, the Almighty Buck.

So what's up? Where am I making the mistake in thinking this through? The pattern seems to have boundaries that are clearly enough defined -- it seems highly, highly improbable to me that this wasn't a purposeful policy decision.

Collegial concern: going too far?

Anonymous — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:17:49 -0800

Collegial concern: going too far? One of our workmates is so grossly overweight that we're fearful for him. One of my workmates is possibly the fattest person I have ever known who can still walk.

This week he didn't turn up to work for several days in a row, and owing to a miscommunication, no one was aware that he had called in sick. Because of his extreme overweight, several of us were wondering whether he had a fall or a heart attack or some other misadventure related to his size. We were debating checking out his house when we managed to track him down and find out he was ok.

He is quite young and does not appear to have any immediate family or friends who might exert an influence.

Is there any way to broach our concern for his health and offer support that isn't over-reaching? Clearly, no one can be that big and unaware of the consequences, but it feels inhumane to say nothing.

Don't harpoon the beached whale!

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:48:22 -0800

Fat girl + hot climates = potential badness. Help a gal feel comfortable without grossing anyone out. (Apologies for long explanation/details) I live in a city with hot, humid summers and I'm later this summer going to a hotter place for my vacation! While I like hot weather, there will be times on holiday when I'd like to wear shorts and or short sleeves or tanks. And of course at a pool or beach, I'd want to wear a swimsuit.

But I'm fat. And lots of folks find looking at fat folks unpleasant (not saying they should or shouldn't). I have heard/read coworkers, acquaintances, bloggers etc remarking on people they have seen at the pool, on the street, wherever. You know, the comments like,
What was she thinking or No one wants to see that!. Even girls I know who wear single-digit clothes talk about how gross they feel and how they aren't hot enough for the beach.

I don't bear my upper arms or below my knees at home, so I have no basis for comparison of reactions. (I do wear swimsuits and shorts/tees at gym; I figure even if people are icked-out, they can't fault someone for trying to improve. )
Further details:
- I am not looking to attract attention. Modest one-piece swimwear, just above the knee shorts, and tank tops when outside are what I'd like. (Inside, I can wear a light shawl to hide my arms)
- I turned over a new leaf a few months ago - dealing with long-term depression, better eating habits plus cardio every day and weights every other day. It is working well (down 3 sizes so far!) and I love being active and healthy but I will not be svelte before travel time.
- I am a size 18/20 (US) and my problem areas are chubby and cellulite ridden arms and legs which are hard to hide in summer. If it matters, I am told I am well-groomed and not sloppy or trashy looking.
- I am between This and This, I think.

My questions are essentially:
What should I wear or not wear?
Am I right to be concerned? (If I do dress summery, will I gross people out? Do I risk ridicule? Will I offend common decency?
Should I not worry about it and let them gawp?)

Thank you so much.

Help whip my post-obesity body into shape

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:29:31 -0800

I used to be obese. I have lost about 80 pounds out of my goal of 100 lost, and am struggling to lose the rest. My body, even though I am in my mid 20s, is now a complete mess. I am covered in stretch marks from head to toe. I’m hardly exaggerating. They start at my shoulders and don’t let up until my calves. I have big hanging flaps of skin and fat under my arms. Some bits of stretch marks and loose skin on my tummy, hips, thighs, and rear. I look like I had a baby or four. My breasts sag and are also covered in stretch marks. I’m aware that I’ll likely only ever look normal by plastic surgery, but what I am looking for is how to improve my body as much as I can through accessible methods until I can begin to afford surgery (or better, avoid it). I’ve tried searching Google and here, but I can’t seem to find the right information. Lots of questions/background inside. I lost the weight mainly through diet changes and using a food log, along with some walking. I couldn’t afford a gym while losing my weight and even if I could, I was too embarrassed to work out in that condition.

I’ve discovered that I had a pretty hourglass figure hiding under the pounds, but what good does it do me? I honestly was not prepared to look this awful after what was supposed to be the triumph of losing all that weight. I look fine in clothes if I cover everything excluding my forearms and below my knees.

I started getting fat as a kid, and was overweight until college, where I went through severe depression, and gained 45lbs. I eventually recovered. I stepped on a scale one day shocked to see it say almost 220lbs. I’d cry daily. My clothes weren’t fitting anymore. It was then that I decided to overhaul my diet and stop hating myself.

How can I lose this last 20lbs, tighten up as much as possible, and see some progress in my body?

I joined a gym late last year, and went regularly until work and illness knocked me off track, and I’ve been having trouble going regularly ever since. I hate working out. I’d never worked out before last year, aside from P.E. at school.

I am terribly uncoordinated and I’m not sure if I do exercises right. My gym is very cheap – there are no trainers on the floor. I can hire a trainer, which I am considering, but I can only afford one session. Maybe two.

Is there anything I should be asking with regards to finding a trainer who can help my specific case?

What exercises might I try that are geared to a beginner’s level, but will help me drop fat, tone, lengthen, and build muscle? I mainly just go in there, pick a couple machines per session according to muscles worked (usually legs one session, arms next, with abs on both) and top it off with about 30 minutes of cardio.

Any advice on setting up a program? Especially one geared to fat loss and toning for someone like me. Does this look like it might work for me?

How would I adapt it? I see his note on adapting it for women on the bottom, but I actually don’t understand the program (mainly the workouts) to begin with.

I’ve read the Ask posts that deal with loose skin and obesity. I followed links there to programs like Body Fat Guide and on other sites to Joyce Vedral’s program. Both claim they can reduce or eliminate loose skin. Do these work at all? I can’t seem to find reliable reviews. The first claims losing body fat will help.

What’s the most inexpensive, yet accurate way to get body fat measured? Due to my stretched out skin, I don’t think using calipers would work. Or would they? While I’m curious if following the Body Fat Guide program works, I’d like to know this in general, since I didn’t exercise while I lost the weight. I suspect my body fat ratio might be really high.

I have NO muscle tone whatsoever. I am soft and doughy and jiggly all over. When I worked out steadily, I saw no progress at all. Weight didn’t change, no change in the way clothes fit, no muscles seeming to grow or tighten. For someone like me, with this terrible body, is it possible to see progress? If so, when?

They say a person should be able to see progress within a few weeks, but I worked out for about four months with nothing apparent. It’s incredibly discouraging when absolutely nothing changes, especially when the whole process of getting to the gym and working out feels like torture. I just want to know that going through the torture of working out regularly is going to net me visible results. Sure, I care about health benefits of working out, but right now, my idea of progress is visual. I want to be as slim and as tight as I can be until surgery becomes a possibility.

The way I look makes me feel incredibly bad, and it causes some conflict with my S.O. who loves me dearly but is sometimes understandably frustrated by how bad my body is. We both are. I’m young and I want to look and feel normal and even to feel sexy. We both were excited when I decided to lose the weight only for it to turn into this nightmare.

What can I do in the meantime to make this post-obesity body of mine look better? Any tips or personal stories? I just need all the help that I can get right now.

Please don’t tell me that I am not my body. Don’t tell me to focus on the health benefits of having lost the weight/working out. I already know those. I need practical advice on what to do.

Okay, enough rambling. Responses or questions may be sent to formerbiggirl@gmail.com .

'Cause Every Girl's Crazy 'Bout a Sharp-Dressed Man

WCityMike — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:37:04 -0800

I'm a very overweight man in my early to mid-thirties, and I would appreciate your advice as to how to dress in a way that's complementary to me for social situations (such as going to clubs, bars, lectures, etc.). More inside. For a while, the environments I've dressed for have been my home and my workplace, with the occasional visit to a social situation. My work clothing has been short-sleeved polo shirts (of very nice quality) in solid, darker colors, and black Dockers. My home clothing is usually a T-shirt or sweatshirt, and a pair of jeans or shorts, depending on weather. If I went somewhere that required me to look nice, I'd wear the work clothes. Without intending to sound immodest, I don't think I look too bad in either "mode", but I'd like to expand a bit.

I'm intending to venture into some social situations I've not gone into before, and I'd like to look stylish. I may visit some bars and clubs here in Chicago; I may attend some semi-formal semi-casual things such as lectures or "fancier" meetup-style things; and I may go to some things that are completely casual but where jeans would look too casual.

In these situations, I'd like to feel confident that I look good, perhaps even attractive. (I would be dressing not only for simple social situations but for possible romantic situations as well.) The problem is that I've relied upon the above two styles of selections for so long that I'm really not sure what other ensembles I can put together, so I'm seeking advice here regarding same. Look at me and imagine I'm a caveman who just got unfrozen from Neanderthal times, and use very simple words with Grogg here regarding what type new-fangled-leopardskins Grogg should put on body that has ate too much mammoth-meat.

If it matters, I currently shave my head clean, but when my hair does grow in, it is a color between dark brown and black.

I do understand that spending more money allows you to purchase higher-quality garments that make you look much better. Money-conscious choices would be highly preferred, but if something's highly recommended enough, I can always put a bigger expense into my financial plans. I may not get to such a purchase for a while, however, as there are some financial goals I'm in the midst of working on.

I also understand that losing weight is one of the better ways to improve a man's appearance. I'm working on same, but, universally, nearly every weight loss article, book, or forum I have read instructs people: (a) not to hold off on making clothes purchases, or buy clothes too small for you, on the basis of anticipated weight loss; and (b) that making clothing selections that make you feel good in your current body can be highly beneficial to putting you in a better state of mind and confidence for said weight loss.

Obesity causing skin discoloration?

dlugoczaj — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:21:56 -0800

Can extreme obesity cause facial skin discoloration? This is a bizarre little question that I'm asking out of sheer curiosity.

I work with someone who is extremely obese, at least 300 pounds if not more. He has these strange dark markings on the sides of his face near his eyes--they look like big bruises. I know they aren't actual bruises, however, since I've known him for several months and they do not go away.

Today I met a very obese woman at an event, and I noticed that she had very similar dark facial markings. I think hers were a little lower on her face than his were, but otherwise they were much the same bruiselike marks.

Is this common in obese people? If so, why does it happen?

Help, I need motivation to lose weight.

Anonymous — Mon, 05 May 2008 10:18:59 -0800

I'm fat and diabetic. My first year after diagnosis I lost 50 lbs and stuck to my diet. How do I stick to it for the long term? I am in my 30s, married, and hugely fat. I am 200 pounds overweight. I was diagnosed with diabetes, spent the first year changing my diet, lost 50 pounds. During this time my husband and I were going under a huge amount of stress, in fact, we were living separately (but not separated) for much of the first year.

We moved back in together and my weight loss slowed. In fact, I have gained some back and my A1C has gone up from 5.2 to 6.2. 6.2 is in the ok range for diabetics but higher than where I want to be.

On top of all of that, I am handicapped and a wheelchair user. My weight has nothing to do with my disability, I was in an accident that destroyed my ability to walk. I have always been fat but prior to my accident I was extremely active working a physical job, exercising and dancing multiple nights a week.

I need help and motiviation. How do I make myself continue to eat properly when it is just easier to throw a fatty dinner together? How do I deal with a husband who loves potatoes and desserts?

I know I am going to die if I don't lose the weight, I understand this. If you have any hints or motivations, you can answer here or email me at onefatdiabetic@gmail.com

Obesity vs. income?

tinkertown — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:18:04 -0800

Is obesity actually rare among high-income people compared to low-income people? Or is this a stereotype? And if many high-income folks are in fact slim, does the availability of more wholesome foods really explain it all? One would think that a big bank account would buy pantries full of richer, tastier food that's harder to resist than the cheap stuff.

Veggies instead of Cheetos

Stewriffic — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 07:13:36 -0800

Childhood obesity prevention programs that incorporate (or center around) community vegetable gardens. Know any? I work in an adolescent health clinic in Raleigh, NC. Most of our patients are overweight or obese as well as low-income, and we're looking into funding to address the obesity.

I'm a big fan of gardening, and the idea of somehow creating a health education/youth development/health intervention program using a (likely urban) community garden as a tool to address the childhood/youth obesity issue sounds fantastic to me. I can see all sorts of benefits: self-esteem boosting, increasing healthy food consumption, financial literacy, physical activity, keeping kids away from TV/Internet/risky activities, etc.

However, I'm having a hard time finding programs that have been evaluated as effective in meeting certain objectives (whether those be weight reduction/management, increase in physical fitness, or whatever). I don't want to recreate any wheels, so I'd like to emulate another program that's already been implemented.

There IS one program locally that I'm working with, but if any of you either know of programs in your area (wherever that may be...not limited to the US) or can help me find research about this type of program, I'd be greatly appreciative!!

Morbid obesity bathroom logistics

forallmankind — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 10:42:29 -0800

I recently watched BodyShock: Half Ton Man & BodyShock: Half Ton Mum. How do people of this size go to the bathroom? In the first documentary they touch on how Patrick is so big he'd never had sex with his wife. In the second, Renee was so big she'd been in bed for 4 years. Renee also says, "Most people of this weight cannot move around at all."

Watching either documentary you find yourself wondering how natural functions are carried out, but neither discuss it.

I'm looking for answers perhaps from healthcare professionals or those with some sort of experience of this condition, but certainly none from comedians. Thanks.

How to screen a therapist?

Anonymous — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:40:49 -0800

FatFilter: Help a morbidly obese woman find a compatible psychologist or therapist. I'm a 30-year-old woman who has weighed upwards of 400 pounds since I was in high school. I have attempted and failed nearly every diet and "way of eating" that's come around, from the healthy to the just plain ridiculous.

I think I would benefit greatly from working with a psychologist to deal with some of the issues that cause me to overeat. The problem is that I would like to look at the obesity as a symptom of the psychological issues - depression, low self-esteem, and a touch of OCD - rather than those issues as a symptom of the obesity. I have tried to work with therapists in the past that focused on dieting and losing weight as a means to combat the depression and raise my self-esteem. However, dieting for me always plunges my self-esteem even lower - I can't love and appreciate the body I'm in while I'm trying to change it, and whenever I'd stop losing, I'd feel even worse about myself than when I started.

I really don't know how to properly screen a therapist to find one that will be helpful for me. What are some possible questions I can ask to try to find a good match? Can I do this over the phone, or do I have to schedule office visits with as many as it takes to find the right one?
Thanks for your help. Throwaway email: fatchickneedshelp@gmail.com

Should I commit to my significantly overweight girlfriend?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 May 2007 19:49:32 -0800

Should I commit to my significantly overweight girlfriend? I recognize that this sounds like the perfect MeFi troll, but I'm for real. I'm in a great relationship with a great woman and we're starting to think about taking the next step (moving in together leading relatively quickly to an engagement.) One of the few things that gives me pause, however, is that she is very overweight.

At the moment, it's not a problem, since she is not hindered by her weight, I'm completely attracted to her, and the sex is great. What I'm worried about is that she will gain more weight in the future (we would probably have a couple kids) and that it will adversely affect our relationship in terms of the limits it might place on things we can do together, the impact on potential children, and the way I'm attracted to her.

I should add that I am overweight myself, although to a lesser degree, and that I am empathetic towards people with weight problems. Unlike many MeFites, I don't see being overweight as a personal failing, but rather something which 90% of overweight people have little long-term control over. I just want to know what I'm getting into.

Kitty weight loss success stories wanted!

agent99 — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:55:28 -0800

Does anyone have any cat weight loss success stories? One of my wonderful cats just weighed in at an elephantine 23lbs. How can I him to be the slim, trim, and sexy feline hiding within? I have two four-year-old cats that I adopted as kittens (they are not litter mates). They've been fed the same and lived in the same household since they were six weeks old; one cat is trim and sprightly and the other one is . . . enormous. They're both pretty big cats as cats go, but only one is really fat. They are indoor-only cats who used to eat dry kibble (Science Diet regular, then Weight Loss) until I switched them to all canned food (PetGuard). One cat just keeps gaining weight no matter what. The vets I've been to haven't been very helpful. Some say to feed diet food, some say don't feed diet food under any circumstances, some say don't worry about it. I do worry about impending diabetes or arthritis or other health problems, though. So, cat people, any success stories I can emulate? [I've seen the previous questions on this topic, but listed ideas rather than proven methods . . .]

No-nonsense, serious weight loss community via mailing list?

WCityMike — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 11:24:22 -0800

I am looking for an e-mail mailing list in which weight loss is discussed. However, I'm looking for one with a very specific sort of attitude. Essentially, I'm looking for a weight loss mailing list that approaches weight loss with a certain attitude — practical, logistical, calmly, assertively, tough, without as much of the focus on extraneous emotional baggage. I understand that emotional baggage can be part of weight loss. I'm not saying that it has to be entirely absent of emotional revelations, but this theoretical online community is not the place to expose and wallow in one's angst and drama, and ideally the theoretical list participants would kinda be thinking "get a grip!" if someone did so.

Reason behind this is that it seems the majority of the online weight loss communities that I've found out there are very focused on the emotional reactions to weight loss, and I think it's not assisted me in my own endeavors. When I was writing down a note to myself to remember this question, I wrote down, "A mailing list for serious people getting down to the deadly business of concerted effort towards losing weight." That's more than a little melodramatic, but hopefully it gets the point across.

Preferably food plan-neutral (i.e. not Atkins-specific or South Beach-specific), or at least accommodating of other plans.

A few ideas to kind of convey what I'm looking for: I'm looking for a mailing list whose attitude towards weight loss is similar to the attitude that productivity pundits have towards weight loss (43 Folders, Lifehacker). Bootcamp Buddies has a philosophy statement that's fairly close to what I'm looking for — but the problem with Bootcamp Buddies is that I am strictly looking for a e-mail mailing list. I am NOT looking for an online message board forum. They just don't work for me as a method of online communication.

The above is the primary question I'm seeking an answer to. However, as a corollary to it, if anyone is aware of websites that have the same relationship and approach to weight loss as 43 Folders and Lifehacker has to productivity — "Weighthacker"? — I'd appreciate linkage.

Thanks in advance for any assistance offered!

How can an extremely obese and underconditioned man begin exercising?

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:27:08 -0800

Is walking at your normal walking rate, but increasing the distance you walk, sufficient enough to be considered exercise? Can anyone recommend exercises for people who are very underconditioned and extremely obese, but not in poor cardiac health? And, finally, is there a medical professional who is the equivalent of a gym's personal trainer? (More inside.) I'm an extremely obese man; my weight now borders on 350 pounds. I do understand that this is an unhealthy situation for me, and as both a longstanding project and a New Year's resolution, I am trying to get myself down to a manageable weight. (I am posting this anonymously because I don't wish to acknowledge the extent of my obesity or my underconditioning publicly, where it could be Googled, and I also discuss a bit of my medical history below.)

Weight loss, at its most essential element, is burning more calories than you take in; for a long time, I have only attacked that problem from the perspective of reducing intake, instead of adding exercise to my routine. I wish to do the latter now. The problem is that thanks to my weight, exercise is extremely difficult. Even walking up one flight of stairs is enough to take the wind out of my sails. I tried swimming, as I heard that this was a kinder exercise process to obese people, but found it to be extremely difficult as well. When I say "difficult," please know I am aware that exercise is not supposed to be an easy process, but at the same time, you obviously need to be able to sustain a level of exercise for a period of time in order for it to be any good. I cannot walk stairs continuously, and I don't think I can swim continuously, either.

My thoughts about how I might best improve the situation is by increasing the amount of walking I do per day: I have already been walking approximately 0.5 miles each way to and from work, which means I'm walking a mile already. My thought was that by getting off at earlier stops on the subway, I could increase the amount of distance I walk each day. However, if my memory serves me correctly, exercise isn't "exercise" unless you are not able to sing, but still can talk, when you are exercising. I'm concerned that merely increasing the distance I walk will not be sufficient to be "exercise," and yet I'm not sure where to go from here in terms of getting myself from an underconditioned, extremely unhealthy situation to one where I can begin exercising routinely. Would it be sufficient to just start walking longer distances at a normal rate, and then eventually segue into walking those distances more quickly?

As a side note, my heart, as far as I know, is fine. I conducted both a stress test and an echocardiogram in the fall of 2006, and both indicated that there were no blockages in my heart or reasons to be concerned about it. I'm 32 years old, and that works in my favor.

So, to boil down this post to its basics: is walking at your normal walking rate, but increasing the distance you walk, sufficient enough to be considered exercise? Can anyone recommend exercises for people who are very underconditioned and extremely obese, but not in poor cardiac health?

And, finally, is there a medical professional who is the equivalent of a gym's personal trainer? I'm entirely unwilling to shell out mercenary rates to a personal trainer, nor has any personal trainer I've ever interacted with been interested in doing anything more for me than trying to sell me on an extended lesson plan; that having been said, I would like to turn to a medical professional to assist me in designing a workout that could assist me in getting back in better shape. I, however, have no idea what field that professional would be in.

Skim milk = Skinny?

anotherpanacea — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 20:52:55 -0800

A lot of the studies I've googled indicate that there is a non-intuitive relationship between skim milk and obesity, at least in children. Does this extend to adults? Could someone explain how whole milk makes you lose weight?