Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with nyc and apartment

Risk of a bogus address for school registration?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:44:10 -0800

What are the risks, if any, for someone (and the actual address-holder) to falsify their address to register their child in a NYC school? Moving to NYC in the Spring, but in order to get a jump on middle school applications, you need a NYC address for them to even talk to you. I know exactly what neighborhood I'll be moving to, and have a friend in that area who will say that I live there. I want to make sure that I'm not putting either of us in obvious risk.

I'd be changing my payroll data at work, and putting their electric bill in my name. Is there much risk in that to my friend?

How do I build a balcony enclosure to reduce wind and noise yet preserve my awesome view of NYC?

jacquilinala — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 08:37:41 -0800

Help me make my noisy, windy city balcony more enjoyable. I recently moved into an awesome apartment in Brooklyn. It's on the 6th floor and has a balcony... which has an unobstructed, amazing view of the Manhattan skyline. However! My apartment faces the BQE and it's noisy. It's also freaking cold out now, and being on the 6th floor, it's very windy on the balcony.

I thought it would be a fun project to try to build a balcony enclosure of some sort. While I don't want to obstruct my view of the city, I would love to be able to go out there and not feel like I was going to blow away. Noise insulation of some sort would be great too.

I googled around and found this, and while that's the same idea, it's not what I'm looking for. I'm thinking more like going to a lumber yard, buying some kind of wood (?), and DIYing it. Some sort of noise insulation stuff. Maybe plexiglass on one side to preserve the view?

Of course, this would have to work in the summer too...

Ideas? Here are the dimensions... and a picture of the balcony.

129" wide (approx 126" within the railings)

49" deep (approx 46" within)

43" height of railing.

pic 1 and pic 2

Thanks!

Pre-looking for a NYC apartment.

Jaltcoh — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:23:55 -0800

How to spend part of a short trip to NYC "looking" for an apartment when it's way, way too soon to sign a lease? Assuming I'm going to be working in the Bronx, I'm not sure what the best neighborhood would be (Upper East Side?). Details inside. OK, here's the situation. I live in upstate New York (a few hours away from the city), where I have a job that's scheduled to end next summer. Next week I'm going to NYC for a job interview. Let's assume for the sake of this thread that I'll get the job (which, to make a long story short, is pretty likely). I'll be scheduled to start in early fall of next year, after my current upstate job ends.

I have read lots of AskMe questions about finding an apartment in NYC, so I realize that it's impossible to find a place this early since you can't start looking earlier than 4-6 weeks in advance.

The job will be in the Bronx. Subway stop: 4/B/D at 161st St - Yankee Stadium. My salary will be at least 55k, which is their standard starting salary. However, it might be higher based on my previous work experience.

This is my basic question: I'll have a couple extra days of free time during the upcoming NYC trip, and I'd like to spend it in a way that's semi-productive in helping me think about where I should look for apartments once the time finally comes to do so. As someone who's pretty familiar with NYC overall but hasn't spent any time in the UES, where should I be looking? If you think UES is a good option, where would you recommend walking around to get a feel for the area?

Additional background info:

My goal is a 1-bedroom (maybe a studio if it's not tiny) with the potential for my girlfriend to move in eventually. I would not be interested in living with roommates. I hope to find a place for 1500 or less. Subway will be the main mode of transportation.

Brooklyn and Astoria are routinely recommended, and I'm familiar with these areas. If I were going to work in, say, midtown or lower Manhattan, I would love to live in Brooklyn and would happily live in Astoria. But I'm concerned that the distance to the Bronx job essentially rules them out. Even living in one of the more desirable Brooklyn neighborhoods (Brooklyn Heights, Park Slope, etc.) would appear to mean at least 2 solid hours of commuting every workday -- not an appealing prospect.

Upper East Side: Commuting from just anywhere in the UES would be a dream come true. Based on past AskMe questions, the UES sounds like a pretty dull place to live, but more affordable than most places in Manhattan. Of course, I am still concerned about affordability. I've been checking CraigsList and there seem to be reasonable 1-bedrooms for 1500/mo. or less on a daily basis, though it's hard to judge a place without seeing it.

The Bronx: I'm not particularly interested in living here unless people strongly recommend it (with a more specific comment than "Why not live in the Bronx?"). My girlfriend would be nervous about the relatively high crime rate, etc.

Any tips?

Lease AFTER moving in?

2bucksplus — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:58:23 -0800

New York City apartment question: Is it normal for my broker to tell me I will receive hard copies of my lease a "couple of weeks" after moving in? I found an apartment with a November 1st move in date in New York City. Everything was going well and I received two copies of the lease to review and sign. Initially I was told one copy of the lease would be returned to me within about 48 hours, signed by the management company. Now I am being told I should move in on the 1st and wait for a copy to be mailed to me within a couple of weeks.

Is this normal? It makes me feel very uncomfortable. Both the broker company and the landlord are large well known companies in the NYC area. Is there any law I can quote on this? What else should I do, besides getting everything in writing?

What bird is making this noise and what can I do about it?

Tin Man — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 08:54:03 -0800

What kind of bird is making this annoying noise (mp3 file; alternate link here) behind my Manhattan apartment building? And what can I do about it? This is our second summer living in our apartment in a residential area of Manhattan. During the spring and summer, we occasionally hear the above noise, which I assume is a birdcall, from somewhere behind our building. (You may have to turn up the volume a bit.) It went away during the winter, but then the weather got warm a few months ago and it started up again. Sometimes it happens every 10-20 seconds or every minute or every few minutes. Sometimes we don't hear it at all. Sometimes it's quite loud. It's usually during the daytime but sometimes at night. It's really annoying.

So I'm dying to know -- what kind of creature is making this noise?

Our apartment faces the back of the building, and there are other residential apartment buildings behind ours, so I assume someone behind us must own a bird and they have the windows open when the weather is warm. Or maybe some creature with a spring and summer migratory pattern roosts on a nearby roof. I've looked out the window numerous times scanning for birds in apartment windows and I haven't seen any. There's also more than one apartment building behind us, and sometimes sound can bounce around, so I have no idea where it's coming from.

Next question is, what can I do about it? I know the default answer would be to call 311, but how are they supposed to find a bird that makes noise only sometimes? Are the police supposed to come and hang around on the street for a few hours? What if they can't even hear it from the street?

So, (1) what kind of bird is it, and (2) what can I do?

Lower Rent NYC Area Filter please help

spacefire — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:18:49 -0800

Lower my rent at my current residence and stay for another year. After the first year living in my current appartment, I didn't get an updated lease. The lease simply rolled onto the next year, or so they said. I'm not sure about the tenant/landlord right implications of this, but it might be of consequence. I live in Hoboken in a building managed by a corporation. Assuming the lease was automatically renewed, we have three months left.

I keep hearing that rents are dropping in the NYC metro area, and I would really like to pay less than what we are paying right now. My wife does not have a full-time job currently and I am going back to school full time, on a fellowship which, although bigger than average, still brings a big drop in income for our household. Can I approach our landlord and try to negotiate a new lease for another year with a lower rent?

Our next-door neighbors are moving away and soon and I could approach the new tenants and find out how much they are paying for rent, and if it is less than us, should I bring that up with the landlord? Who, again, is not a person but rather a corporation.

How should I proceed in this case?

Neighborhoods in NYC

Wolfster — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 07:18:30 -0800

Mr Roger’s Neighborhood: NYC, introduce me to your neighborhood plus rental places NYC filter

I’ve lived in NYC for about 4 years and really enjoy living here.

Now I like my current neighborhood, but the apartment is very, very small and has a lot of problems. Because the rents are currently dropping (my landlord just offered to lower my rent for a few hundred dollars), I figure this is the time to upgrade.

I would love it if people share what they like/love/don’t like about their neighborhood and what they think I could get for a ballpark sum of $. Even if I can’t afford your neighborhood, please share! Pretend you are a broker for your neighborhood but also tell me about the warts (a broker, with truth serum!). Even if things that you like are not on my list – tell me about them, I knew nothing about this neighborhood when I moved here and have grown to enjoy it.

As a plus please let me know if it has some of the things I am looking for/not looking for although I still would enjoy the introduction to your neighborhood.

Below are things that I enjoy about my neighborhood, like/don’t like about my apartment, and my dream list.

Current neighborhood: UWS/near Lincoln center

Love:
• Hudson path along the water for walking
• Riverside drive for biking (no cars come from opposite lane, can get to GW bridge to ride out of the city, not much traffic)
• Very safe (sometimes I come home very late –not a problem)
• Can easily visit friends on UES
• Proximity to a few subway trains – 1,2, A, C
• Close to activities but not in the middle of everything (eg, Lincoln center free music in August; can walk to theaters ~ Times Square)
• It isn’t that loud compared to other parts of town
• There is a store/deli around every corner (if I need a cookie…I walk 10 feet)

Current apartment: In this neighborhood, I pay about $1400 and the rent will be lowered to $1200

Like: location

Don’t like:
• Very, very small (200 square feet) – I can’t take this anymore!
• The heating system is poor (this system that is either turned completely on or off in the winter…(baking, freezing baking, freezing)
• My neighbors are very, very young/college kids (I am fine with this age group, but I need to work, and they are dancing, drinking, hollering and living la vida loca at 1, 3, and 4 in the morning…too loud)

Where do I want to live?

Amt to pay: Up to $1500, but not much more, and I would love to get a 1-BR, but that may be delusional so …a large studio is ok. Are there buildings that have a normal heating/cooling system or keep it on rather than turn it off most of the day in the winter?

Features of neighborhood: 1) safe (can still walk around late at night), 2) still near activities or things to do (ie, I don’t want to ride a subway or boat for an hour to go to a play), 3) can still get to UES within 30 minutes/45 minutes 4) easy to bike (the highway is not surrounding me on all sides)

Not essential: I freelance and work from home – subway is not essential but makes things easy in the winter.

I like Manhattan, but I am open to Brooklyn and Queens as long as I am not commuting for an hour.

Not Quite the King of Queens

acorn1515 — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:06:31 -0800

NYC Filter - I'm moving to Queens in August, and on the hunt for both neighborhood/broker recommendations. Astoria appears to be out of the mix. My boyfriend's in law school out on Long Island, (waaay out) in Central Islip. I work in midtown Manhattan. We've decided to move in together at the end of July, and I've agreed to meet him halfway from where I'm at on the UES -- which puts us out in the Forest Hills/Kew Gardens area.

We discussed Astoria, but he will most likely be driving to school most days for 9 a.m. classes and is concerned about traffic. We discussed Bayside/Flushing but I don't have a car and am not big on giving up life with easy access to neighborhood stores as well as the Subway and all parts of Manhattan.

We're planning to drive out around Forest Hills and Kew Gardens this weekend and begin getting a sense for the neighborhood, but would be interested in hearing other suggestions for both where we might considering living, tips about apartment hunting in the neighborhoods, or any brokers you might recommend.

The dream is for a 2 bedroom around $1,500, but it's looking like a nice 1 bedroom (without a bus ride to the Subway) is more realistic.

How can I get my landlord to allow me to have a pet?

gchucky — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:10:50 -0800

How can I get my landlord to allow me to have a pet? I live in Queens in NYC in a pretty decent apartment. Rent is good for how much space we have, and this area is nice and quiet. The problem is that my girlfriend and I want to get a cat, but there's a stipulation in the original lease that says no pets. I asked the superintendent of the building, and he also said that they won't really allow pets 'cause it can be a problem with cleanliness and whatever. Ideally we'd get a cat that's a few months/years old and has already been litter-trained, so cleanliness won't really be a problem.

The thing is, I think we've been pretty good tenants. Always paid the rent on time, never had any wild parties or done anything crazy, haven't destroyed anything, and so on.

So what's the best way to petition my landlord to allow me to have a cat? Should I write a letter to them stating the above and asking if we can get a cat? Is there more that I should say in that letter that I haven't thought of? Should I just get a cat anyway and keep it hidden in case my sup comes up for whatever reason? (And as a side note, would it be annoying to ask for a rent decrease in the same letter?)

It's too darn hot. How to cool off my studio apartment?

lsemel — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:25:33 -0800

How can I cool off my NY studio apartment this summer? Our building has central air conditioning, and while it's cold enough when I sit right next to the unit, the rest of the apartment gets boiling hot. During today's heat wave, when it was 82 outside, a thermometer sitting on the unit read 70 degrees. On the other side of the room, it was more like 75, and on the other side of of the apartment, almost 80. The building doesn't allow window air conditioners. This is making living here really uncomfortable -- what else can I do to cool this place off? I've been putting up with hot, stuffy summer air in my apartment long enough. I want to do anything and everything I can to cool the place down this year. The heat wave of the last few days reminded me once again how uncomfortable it can get.

Here's a plan that's similar to my apartment. (Unlike the apartment depicted, I don't have the main area divided into two rooms.) The central A/C is to the right, underneath the window. This unit has cold water pumped to it, and cools the room by blowing air over the cold water pipes. The window is south-facing, as wide as the entire wall, and extends all the way up to the ceiling,. Today, when it was around 82 degrees out, a thermometer sitting on the unit reads 70 degrees. On the other side of the room, it'll read more like 75, and in the bathroom or kitchen, or by the front door, almost 80. I have a Vornado fan underneath the air conditioner blowing upwards.

The building won't allow a window air conditioner to be installed. Last year I tried getting a portable air conditioner (this model) but it had absolutely no effect whatsoever, even after running it for days.

What else can I do to keep things cooler in this apartment? More fans? Install a ceiling fan? Replace all my inefficient, heat-emitting incandescent light bulbs? Any ideas would be appreciated!

Should I confront my roommate about overcharging me for rent?

lxs — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:28:48 -0800

I found out my roommate is overcharging me for rent - do I do anything? I recently moved into an apartment share with a roommate who has already been living in the apartment for about six months. I found an invoice today that contained the full rent amount, and it looks like I'm paying $100 more than what half of it would be each month. FWIW, I did not know my roommate before I moved in (we found eachother on craigslist), we're living in NYC, our apartment is rent-controlled, and the place is in her name.

I'm curious about the politics of roomshares, and whether I'm entitled to say something or not. Honestly, I most likely will not since the apartment IS rent-controlled and thus still a good deal, plus I do like my roommate and don't want to risk causing a situation awkward enough that I might want to move again. Regardless of what I'm inclined to do, I'm curious what the objective standard (if one could be said to exist) on these situations is - do I have a right to say anything? Is this common? Is it considered an unscrupulous thing to do, or just the way of the world when it comes to NYC apartments?

Thanks in advance for any insight.

How can i fight a rent increase?

avex — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:09:01 -0800

My 1 year NYC apartment lease is up, and I just receive a lease extension offer with a $100 increase. How can I cite the economic downtown and renew the lease without paying the increase? I live in a 6th floor walkup in Manhattan and pay $2400 a month, and my one year lease expires at the end of March. The landlord/management company sent me a letter offering a 1 year renewal, but with a $100 rent increase!! I hope to stay here, but since the economy is in tatters, and I am a freelancer, I want to argue a strong case to keep the rent at $2400.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can convince the landlord that it is a poor time for a rent increase? Do I have any grounds to push back, or am I at their mercy?

I also got nervous today since my original broker called asking if I intended to renew, which made me think she was keen to put the apartment back on the market and was hoping I would leave. I was surprising to get her call because she never took any of my calls once the lease was signed even though I had some issues with the apartment.

The apartment is not rent controlled (but it was with the previous tenant who paid something like $400 a month!). I know the landlord can raise the rent to whatever they like, but a rent increases just doesn't feel like a good idea at the moment.

Thanks for your words of wisdom!

NYCApartmentFilter: Am I being too picky? Naive? Maybe both?

longwalks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:46:27 -0800

How small is too small for a bedroom in Hell's Kitchen? For any fellow New Yorkers:

With the market currently working in renters' favor (relatively speaking - this is Manhattan after all), I'm finding there are some affordable prices on 1 bedrooms off of 9th ave in Hell's Kitchen, and some deals to be had - I've been looking at units that normally go for $2-2300, and are now asking around $1750-1950. Again, I realize this is still an insane amount of money for what is essentially a box, but that's not the issue.

I'm used to studios and, although small, they don't have walls that break up room and limit space. The 1 bedroom apartments I'm finding are great until I see the bedroom - the biggest one I've seen is roughly 9'x7'. This means that my queen-sized platform bed (with storage baskets) will most likely not fit, or will need to be one of two things in the room unless I get a smaller bed - which then decreases my storage space.

So I guess my question is this - is that bedroom size "normal" for the neighborhood and price range, or am I only looking at units that won't sell for a good reason? Am I kidding myself by holding out and waiting for anything bigger? Should I just stick to studios that are generally within that same price range, keep my handy storage bed and just forget about finding a place with more square footage?

how much does heating cost in nyc?

boots — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:09:51 -0800

How much does it cost to heat an apartment in Brooklyn? My roommates and I are about to put down a deposit on a 3-bedroom in Greenpoint. The only unknown is that heat isn't included, and we have no idea what that will cost for a winter. Rough estimates and anecdotal evidence appreciated. 1000 a year? 500? 3000? Thanks much.

Where to look for an Apt in West Harlem?

limon — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:10:15 -0800

One-bedroom Apartment in west Harlem close to the 1 train (Morningside Heights, Hamilton Heights, Sugar Hill) for $1500/month or less. Where to look, other than craigslist?

Avoiding eviction after minor dog incident?

Hollow — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:33:38 -0800

ApartmentFilter: My friend's dog got our of her NYC apartment today, and a neighbor overreacted. Now the neighbor is trying to get her evicted from the building (her lease goes all the way til February). Should she be worried? Can she fight back? My friend has two formerly abused dogs that she adopted to save them from being put down. Today one of them managed to work all three of her locks and get out into the hall. A neighbor's kid was out in the hall, and the dog bounded up to the kid happily, playfully, excitedly, as dogs are wont to do. The neighbor kid freaked, and the neighbor came out. By the time my friend got out there, her dog had peed the neighbor's floor, which my friend knows that he only does after being hit. The argument got heated, and the neighbor called the police. When the cops arrived they were very nice and did not press any charges, telling my friend to just be more careful. Nonetheless, the angry neighbor is pressuring the building manager to cancel my friend's 12 month lease and kick her out.

My friend's building allows dogs, and her dogs would never hurt a fly. Still, her neighbor is claiming the dog attacked the kid, and between the dog getting loose and peeing the floor, she is worried that management might find cause for canceling her lease.

Any advice for her?

What documents should a Canadian bring along when apartment-hunting in New York?

limon — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:58:24 -0800

Canadian moving to New York in September. Apartment-hunting in August. No credit history. Going to be a graduate student, so no fat salary either. But I can get a guarantor with ample funds, and I can pay several months in advance, if it's necessary. What documents should I bring with me to New York? Also, is this going to be impossible? How much time should I set aside for apartment hunting? (Is two-three weeks too little?) I'm looking for an affordable 1 bedroom in Washington Heights or Inwood. Any other relevant tips much appreciated.

Apartment Code Puzzle

xz — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:29:51 -0800

Cypherfiler: Did anyone check out the NYT article about the amazing puzzle/scavenger hunt that was built into the NY apartment? possibly the coolest thing i've seen in years. i'm intrigued by the part of the cypher shown but i've got a little stuck... "The children’s bedrooms have radiator covers with poems written specifically for each child cut into them in code. The Caesar Shift cipher in the bedroom of the oldest child, Cavan, was broken by a friend."

Caeser Shift works by "shifting" the alphabet a set number of letters along, so F becomes C, G becomes D, etc.

the code translates to (with odd 'errors'):

cavan, the archer's child
curioM, bright--your
quicE Gind pivots and
leaps like a dancer.
curiouMity;s light
is to love the question
as much as the answer.

can anyone figure out the code within the code? seems inexplicable that they'd just screw up those 4 letters, especially as they are the RIGHT letters if you translate the cypher backwards (if C becomes F instead, so M=S, E=K, and G=M).

why MEGM? (or SKMS or...)

Am I really paying $90 to cook dinner twice a week?

blueskiesinside — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:34:07 -0800

Paying for gas to light the boiler pilot lights in a NYC apartment? So, we've been having a lot of issues with Con Ed. They've been reading our gas usage at 44 therms a month. That's a lot for just a gas stove, even they say that. Their explanation is that the gas meter for the boiler and furnace pilots are not separate from our meter (there are only two meters in the basement, and two apartments) and that we're paying for gas every time the boiler is used. The landlord says "Oh no no no, we have oil heat, you're not paying anything." This is the third month in a row with this level of gas usage. What do we do now? Go to the broker we got the apartment through? In New York City, have a lease that says that we don't pay for heat or water.

Can we live in New York City with our menagerie of animals?

Anonymous — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:22:23 -0800

Can we live in New York City with our menagerie of animals? My partner and I both accepted great jobs in NYC and are moving there in about four months. The only problem? He has a dog and a cat and I have two cats. We've been living together about a year and the animals get along great. The only problem is that I don't even know if it's possible for two people and four animals to live together in Manhattan. Our combined income will be about 110k, a fortune just about any place else, but only enough for about 700 square feet there.

So my question is: have any of you done this? Is it impossible? These are huge promotions for both of us and I'd hate to give up that opportunity. But we're also not going to give up our pets to a shelter or a stranger because that's really unethical. We're just looking for opinions and ideas on making this happen. Even if you tell us it's totally impossible, that's okay. I don't want to be naive about it.

Experience with Saferentals.com

flxyp — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:16:38 -0800

Has anyone had any success using Saferentals.com? I came across their list for NYC and their listings seems too good to be true. I'd love to hear what the hive mind have to say and your experiences with this site. Thanks.

Shady Broker Situation

theseampsgoto11 — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:15:22 -0800

My broker is trying to charge another fee to put someone new on the lease for the NYC apt. we've been living in for 3 years. Is this legal? Do I have any recourse? Brief backstory: About 3+ years ago, two friends paid a broker's fee and signed the lease on an apartment in Manhattan. One moved out and I sublet (legally) for a few months. Eventually, we added my name to the lease. I didn't pay a broker's fee, just $100 or so for a credit check.

Now my roommate is moving out and I found someone new to move in. Our broker is trying to charge this new guy a broker's fee for the new lease, even though I did the work. Is this legal? Do I have any options other than losing the apartment?

I'd appreciate any help - thanks!

Negotiating with a NYC broker

pithy comment — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 08:53:07 -0800

Looking for advice in negotiating with a NYC apartment broker. I know they're all "scumbags" etc, but I find myself in the position of working with a broker and an apartment I want to go for. Yesterday in speaking with him I asked if there was any flexibility in his fee and he said "wish I could, but I can't." I pretty much just left it at that. The fee is 15% which is essentially 2 months rent. Insane! I have researched a bit and found that the apartment has been on the market a few weeks (longer than many), and we have another option, potentially with another broker. But my fear is that he'll just say, "OK, bye" because he can charge the full fee to someone else who walks in the door. What other bargaining chips do I have?

Co-op letter writing help

josher71 — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 07:10:14 -0800

I need to write a friend a recommendation letter for a co-op where he is trying to buy an apartment here in NYC. I've never done this before. What kinds of things should I say in the letter besides the usual "I've known him for ten years and he's a stand up guy" sort of thing?

Help me get to know Brooklyn

bingo — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 19:38:48 -0800

Send me on a tour of Brooklyn that will help me decide which part of it to live in. I have been in the NYC area for about four years now...spent some time living on the UWS (too crowded, too many strollers, horrible - if fast - commute to midtown). Spent over a year now in Hoboken. But it seems like everyone I end up hanging out with or dating lives in Brooklyn, and people who get to know me are often surprised that I don't live in Brooklyn.

So, okay, I'm tired of my window-less room in Hoboken, and I'm tired of being surrounded by bars that are mostly designed to cater to people who want to watch the football game. Since I'm moving anyway, I'm going to have a look at Brooklyn.

The thing is that I never spend enough time there to really get a feel for it. I've been to a bar here, a party there, a restaurant here, a show there. My times spent there have been so geographically scattered, and so scattered across time (and I have such a bad sense of direction), that I really still have no sense of Brooklyn neighborhoods at all. Instead of waiting for a lot more such occasions to accumulate, I want to just spend a few Saturdays in a row out there, getting a feel for various areas.

So, a few parameters:

- I don't have a car, and don't plan on getting one.
- Right now, my rent is $1,100 (with a roommate in Hoboken), but I can afford to pay more...I would really like to keep it under $1500, though.
- I could live with a roommate again or by myself, either way, depending on the neighborhood and affordability.
- I need the streets to be relatively clean. Trash all over the place depresses me.
- I will not live within half a mile of a check-cashing place. I have learned from years of experience that those places are very accurate indicators of exactly the kind of neighborhood I don't want to live in.
- There needs to be a health food store within easy reach, preferably walking distance.
- A gym within walking distance would be ideal.
- I work in midtown Manhattan near 23rd St., so the easier the commute, the better.
- I'm a film geek. I love movies, especially indie movies. Proximity to, or ease of travel to, film geek locations, would be a plus.
- I like to go out for brunch on weekends.
- I like restaurants that serve food that is not fried.
- I am a single white guy in his mid thirties.
- I am not a hipster, but I like hipsters and alt types of all stripes: punks, goths, stoners, etc.
- I am, I suppose, a yuppie (if you can be 36 and still be a yuppie), and I'm fine with living among other yuppies too.
- I often wear blazers or suits, and I often work late. If walking through my own neighborhood in a suit at night is going to get me assaulted (jeered at is fine), or even if I have to think about the possibility much, then forget it.

I'm an open book in terms of additional info that I can provide.

So, what I'm asking for, really, is for you to tell me, not just specific neighborhoods, but how to get there, where to go, and what to see when I'm there. Like, 'take the L to X stop, walk south on Y street, observing the bars and restaurants to your left. This is a popular hangout for posers from Memphis, and gained notoriety last year when twelve people were killed in a bizaare tricycle accident. Have a coffee at Z bistro, which is the ultimate in pretentious yuppie film culture, and is exactly the sort of place I imagine an asshole like you hanging out in.' That would be great.

Comments that begin with 'you might like Cobble Hill' or whatever, are fine, except, please keep in mind that I don't know shit about how to even get there, and if I end up taking a Saturday afternoon to go out there based on your recommendation, I need more guidance, or I might just walk around the wrong area and not really get a feel for it.

Thanks!