Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with nsa

How can I relax, immediately after a hookup?

Anonymous — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 07:56:45 -0800

I definitely don’t want, and am not ready for, a relationship. I do want a bit of fun now and then, except insomnia and overstimulation mix with a bit of post-coital anxiety and mess everything up. What are things I can do to soothe myself to sleep, so I can enjoy the evening I had? I’ve enjoyed most things about FWBs, one-night stands, etc, which I only got into much after my last (terrible) relationship. I don’t wish for or expect more, except accidentally, via hormonal attachment, which I recognize (I cut off contact when that happens). And I’m fine the next day.

It’s just that immediately after sex – any sex; the best, most respectful sex, with the coolest, nicest guys I don’t want to date - I tend to get skittish. I know better, I do! but some part of me actually takes a kind of offense if he falls asleep straight afterwards. Or if there’s no chat (not after pillow talk, just a bit of friendly bullshit). Or if there’s too much chat, and it feels like things might be veering into relationship territory. Or if I’m not at all held or touched afterwards. Or if I’m held too tight. Or if there’s no room to stretch out my legs, or if dude sleeps all the way on the other edge of the bed.

The ideal: shooting the shit, for a teeny tiny while. Maybe just an arm flung over my shoulder. Maybe the odd cuddle.

But even with a perfect balance of space and faux intimacy, I can’t relax. I either wind up trying not to fidget and holding my breath until morning, or slipping out shortly afterwards. (I don’t like for people to come over to mine, either.)

Part of it is straight-up physical discomfort. I’m a lifelong insomniac, and getting to sleep is a battle, even when I’m on my own. I’ve always had a difficult time adjusting to the presence of another person in bed, even in the context of not-horrible relationships. But then I could just move to a couch if I had to, instead of hauling ass across town at great cost, in the middle of the night. (Which also precludes the possibility of further sessions over the evening, and making sure everyone had a good time.)

And sure, some of it is emotional business - responses to cues - creeping in, related to not wanting to feel dismissed (as I did, daily, for too long), or suffocated. Even though I know differently at the time, I’m not certain how much I emotionally understand that the guy next to me is not dismissing or invalidating me; that he's just tired and likes to sleep on his side. And I'm too awake to shake those kinds of stupid feeling-echoes off.

Again, I don’t care about any of it in the light of day, and I don’t often think about these people when they’re not around. Not even residually religious.

I’m in my mid-late 30s, straight, female, a few years out of a volatile LTR. I’ve been unemployed as long, & studying and caring in the meanwhile. For those and other reasons (like, pleasure in FREEDOM), I’m staying away from committed relationships. Once my life and career are sorted, I have more to offer, and I don't hate the idea of compromise, or worry about power struggles, I might think about opening it up to someone else, to whom I could explain things, adjust, etc. As things are, I’m very much uninterested in that (and, probably, anyone serious would feel the same about me). I just want to have some nice moments not ruined by this, while they’re still available to me. Celibacy isn't an option. Therapy isn't on the immediate horizon for financial reasons (free options didn't work out).

How can an inexperienced-for-his-age guy find NSA sex?

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 09:47:24 -0800

Early-30s straight guy here. Shy with women, by no means a social butterfly (social moth?), so have little sexual experience - I lost my virginity relatively late and have only had a handful of very brief relationships and one-night stands since. I'd like to have some casual sex as a way of gaining confidence and learning the ropes (oh, and for fun), but haven't had any success finding it so far. Ideas? What I've tried so far is Craigslist casual encounters, where I've posted about half a dozen ads saying basically the above. Apart from the mountains of spam, I've had one or two genuine responses, but those women flaked or got cold feet after exchanging a couple of emails.

I have an OKCupid profile, but I don't want to mention the inexperienced/NSA thing there because half the people I know are on OKC and it would embarrass me if they stumbled upon it.

What else should I be trying? Are paid sites like Adult Friend Finder and Ashley Madison worth a shot? I guess I could try the bar scene, but (apart from the fact that I seriously suck at chatting women up) it seems like it would be very awkward to bring a woman home, start getting intimate and then have to tell her I basically don't know what I'm doing, while it would be equally weird to blurt out "Oh btw, I'm a near virgin" when flirting over a beer. I want to have that laid out (pun honestly unintended) from the start.

(Please no replies along the lines of "look for a real relationship" - I'm doing that too (no luck there either, thanks for asking) but this question isn't about that.)

Love and life projects

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:53:46 -0800

How legitimate a dealbreaker is weed consumption in a relationship ? A down-to-earth relationship question. Hello folks. I (woman, 27) have been dating a man (M, 29) for 5 months, everything went great from beginning to end, we pretty much hit it off the minute we started talking, and our relationship developped very naturally.

Right from the start, we decided not to commit to any future together, as he was applying for field works (part of him finishing his education in the biology field) that were probably going to have him stay in a third world country, or a natural reserve for many months, or more than a year... and he plans on starting a phd abroad or far from our city, as soon as this field work will be finished. I love the part of him which is passionate about environmental issues, and i didn't question his desire to follow his dream and build a career around it. We really have had wonderful times together, not only physically, but in many aspects. We had commited to enjoy the times we could share, and to be good to each other, as human beings more than merely in the couple-unit we were forming. We couldn't plan anything except for long term.
During our relationship, the only thing bugging me, which wasn't too noticeable even, was the joint he needed to smoke, before going to bed, as he sipped 2 cans of beer. it was his end of the day ritual. It did make me feel a little weird, but I thought we all have our ways to relax, and respected this aspect of his life. His general ay of interacting didnt seem altered by the alcohol and weed at all. This has been going on for years.

He left 2 months ago, we kept in touch, on an almost daily basis. I miss him a lot. I cried when he left, and am feeling generally secure and happy in my social / professional life, now. Let's say it, I am quite happy with the life I have. Now, M's mission ends up being much harder than he thought, he is almost all by himself in a very small research station (3 colleagues maximum) in an asian country, his supervisor went back to his home country, and M barely speaks the language. He he is now feeling lonely, questionning his future, things don't work too well, and he is relying on our contacts a lot. He is growing more and more attached as time passes, asking me to visit him, and being open about his desire for a future together, long-term. He tells me I am pretty much his only contact, by email and phone, at the moment.

I have a difficult time finding out & analyzing what I feel about the relationship as :
- the alcohol / weed thing comes back to my mind regularly. I feel so attached to this man, and find myself thinking "if only he had plans to smoke less, or if he stopped...", as if everything would have seemed easier if he didn't consume these things so often. He has expressed the desire to reduce it while we were together, but hasn't succeeded at it.
- when he comes back, there are chances he will be working in yet another country, or in a city mimimum 5 hours away from mine, and I just got a secure, full time job in my city, which I really hope to stay in for a long time. This will be the start of his career in research, many more field trips, and quite a few years until he will be settled professionally.
- I am really attached to him, and even if we hadn't been a couple, all I would be doing at the moment, as a friend, would be helping him out, sending him messages to cheer him up, etc. The last thing he needs from anyone, is doubts, and even less, from someone he feels that he loves.

Questions : Do you have any insight ? Is weed consumption a deal-breaker ? am I being picky when I feel bothered by it ? I can't help but feel anxious about it in the perspective of a settled relationship.

What would be the best thing to do, ethically ? I feel that being open about these doubts would be really selfish, at this point in his life. I wonder what the "right" thing looks like in terms of communication, direction to think. And generosity.

I can tell he is starting to feel I am slightly more distant than right when he left. He is being super sweet and caring, and almost apologizing for asking me to write him back. I feel his pain, not only in his work situation, general life questions, but also in the way this relationship can keep his spirits up. Thnak you for your thoughts :)

Fear of a Bot Planet

ollyollyoxenfree — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 03:59:31 -0800

Are there people out there taking a war against robots/AI seriously? I'm looking for people (writers, military theorists, bloggers, essayists, etc) that are taking a future human war against robots or artificial intelligence as a future possibility.

More specifically, I'm wondering if there is any sort of literature out there discussing counter-technology, counter-tactics, strategy, and military theory against robots and artificial intelligence. Whether the technology or counter-tactics be against real-world robots used in war, like air-based Drones. Or used against NSA's machine learning technology (like AQUAINT) that underpins some of their electronic surveillance (A proto-example of this might be the "Jam Echelon Day" from the late 90s, which targeted Echelon keywords). Basically I'm after any literature ranging from descriptions of current day guerrilla warfare against Western robots, to serious takes on Hollywood Terminator scenarios.

Works I'm aware of already that don't really fit the bill:

P.W. Singer's Wired for War.

Manuel de Landa's War in the Age of Intelligent Machines.

Hugo de Garis' Artilect War.

The first two are historical and accurate, but don't really go that much into counter-measures. They are excellent, but they tend to focus on the uses of robots and AI by nation states, rather than exploring what humans could or should do against robots/AI. The third book by Garis is rather historically speculative, and doesn't have much about tactics either.

Thanks.

Don't decimate me, bro!

Naberius — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 07:54:39 -0800

What could have happened in 1663 specifically to change the meaning of "decimate?" The NSA Signals Intelligence Style Guide (awesome, I know!) includes an entry for "decimate" meant to discourage its sloppy yet widespread usage as simply a more emphatic version of "destroy." It begins by noting the original meaning as a Roman military punishment applied to entire units (generally for mutiny or cowardice) that consisted of killing every 10th man. (Hence the "decem" root.)

It then adds, "Although usage since 1663 has expanded its meaning to 'the destruction in any way of a large proportion of anything reckoned by number,' it is not a synonym for 'destroy' or 'smash'."

Okay, but why this very specific reference to 1663? What happened then that would make it some kind of turning point in the definition of the word? The Ottoman Turks and the Hapsburgs were at war in Austria in 1663, but I haven't found any big decimations associated with it - beyond the general mayhem of battle at least, but that's numerically indiscriminate and hardly specific to a particular year. Nor have I spotted any big dictionaries or other watershed events in English usage. So why 1663?

(This is completely irrelevant to my needs as an editor, by the way, and yet it tasks me, and I'm wasting time trying to track it down instead of actually editing things. Bad user interface, NSA.)

Does intelligence work impact international travel?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 09:31:35 -0800

Does working in US intelligence or for private firms closely integrated with US intelligence impact future international employment or citizenship? I am a US born citizen and I will very shortly be receiving a PhD in a discipline which is attractive to the US intelligence community, and during my job search, the question of whether or not to apply to governmental agencies and private intelligence organizations strongly connected to the government will not be an idle one.

However, my political viewpoint is best described as strongly socialist, and I feel that the current American political structure and zeitgeist is extremely antithetical to how I want to live my life. It feels incorrect for me to continue living in such a place, and I am extremely doubtful that US or state policies will align with my opinion. I must emphasize that this is not the place to question this line of thought - please take it as a given that this is my viewpoint.

I also realize the apparent contradiction in supporting a military industrial complex with my labor when I consider the country itself to be in the wrong. However, the US is not evil, nor is its military (for all the evil it finds itself doing), and in any case I am willing to work in such a job for a few years if no other option presents itself.

In any case, my future plans are to (if not immediately after receiving my PhD) eventually find employment in a western European country with a view to obtaining citizenship.

So I have three related questions:
1. Would obtaining employment in a private US intelligence firm (requiring top secret clearance etc.) affect my future employment or citizenship in western European countries?
2. Would obtaining employment in a US government intelligence organization affect my future employment or citizenship in western European countries?

and a very related question:

3. Do my current beliefs and desires as stated above preclude me from receiving top secret clearance or from working in one of these intelligence jobs?

You eat a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'

uncanny hengeman — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:41:44 -0800

"Google said it would stop censoring its search results in China – a move it has yet to take as it continues discussions with Chinese officials about how it can continue to operate in the country." http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/news/google-working-with-nsa-to-investigate-cyber-attack/story-e6frg90x-1225826960052 Is this true? Given the fanfare, and not just here on Metafilter, what gives? Is this true or just lazy reporting?

As per the posting rules I've tried looking for answers, but there's too much noise out there.

No strings attached, please!

Anonymous — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:10:54 -0800

Am I in the beginning stages of a "no strings" relationship? Not that I mind. Just started seeing this funny guy who is nice in bed, but not my really my type and not a good potential partner: he is much younger (I'm in my thirties), and our backgrounds, interests and personalities are really different. We've been on a few dates, about a week apart, with little communication in between. I'm hesitant to discuss our status because I don't want to hurt his feelings if he's actually into me, nor jinx it or something.

Is this the sort of thing you can just "fall into" or should we have some sort of conversation about it? Or set down rules? I don't really know. Also, I am totally fine with NSA, and would prefer it to dating him in a more romantic way. How do I keep this going? What to look out for? Private answers can be sent to pleasestringsno@hotmail.com. TIA.

NSA Surveillance in Las Vegas for Extortion

destro — Thu, 17 May 2007 13:20:13 -0800

Was there a story a year or two back about Patriot Act/NSA/FBI surveillance in Las Vegas being used for extortion against a casino? I distinctly remember something about it but can't find anything.

Response to: "If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about"

WetherMan — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 10:18:47 -0800

I'm getting pretty tired of hearing the line "if you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about" in regards to what's happening right now in Washington. I've heard some long articulate responses to this, but what's a good one or two sentence response that succinctly points out the error in this line of thinking?

how do i ask out my friend's cousin?

twirlypen — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 04:10:43 -0800

how do i say this: "i like you and that other night was great, although slightly weird because you're my friend's really close cousin, but he seems cool about it, so, anyway, do you want to do that again sometime, even though it's been a month since that night?"- without coming across as wanting to be too serious or too casual or too weird? it was a night at his house, we ended up having a few touchy feely escapades on the couch while watching a movie with everyone else in the room unaware. in the end nothing more happened because we thought it was a bit iffy, her being my friend's cousin and all.

but, he's fine about it. problem is, i'm out of the state for three weeks for a job and don't have any way to contact her until i'm back. so, what would have been fine to say a day or three after the event is now a little strange. i'm not interested in anything totally serious, and neither is she (i'm told).

i've never set out to start a casual sort of relationship before. what's the equivalent of "do you want to go out on a date sometime?", and how do i say it given the month gap between that one night and talking to her again?

How to effectively, intelligently protest warrantless wiretapping?

Ash3000 — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 17:27:51 -0800

Say you wanted to organize a protest re: Bush's warrantless wiretapping... So I'm part of a group which is attempting, in the next two months, to put together a protest of the warrantless NSA domestic spying. I can't quite tell you what we want it to be, but I can tell you what we don't want it to be: your standard rally, i.e. trite, obvious, easy to ignore/eyeroll. Instead, we want something that'll attract attention (media or otherwise) to our group, the issue and what can be done about it in a reasonable, non-extremist manner...all while being creative, inventive, thought-provoking, preferably visually arresting, etc. To give an idea of the sort of event/conceit we're aiming for, it's generally agreed that the Frist filibuster at Princeton was downright brilliant, for all sorts of reasons.

So, any suggestions?

What are the legalities of taking an oath?

odinsdream — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 14:20:13 -0800

Why was Alberto Gonzales not under oath before the Senate Judiciary Committee? Specific legal nuances are what I'm looking for. On Monday, Attorney General Gonzales appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee to be questioned about the NSA wiretapping program. (Video available on c-span*)

Chairman Arlen Specter decided that he would not be sworn in, or given an oath.

What are the legal differences between being under oath or not in this circumstance? Why would Specter have even considered the question before coming to the hearing? Obviously, this was done for a specific reason - what is it?

I don't buy the "let's not insult Gonzales' honor" defense provided by Jeff Sessions.

I might buy the "it's perjury anyway" defense, if the oath didn't even exist.

* The debate over whether he would be sworn in or not begins during the Morning Session clip at 7:20, when it was announced that he wouldn't be sworn in, and continues at 12:00 when that decision is challenged by Patrick Leahy.

How could the NSA's snooping be foiled?

pracowity — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 10:57:47 -0800

Could the US government's efforts to scan the contents of everyone's email be overloaded by everyone routinely using encryption for every message? Is there some strong encryption software that could be used transparently with Google Mail and other common mail systems to encrypt everything sent and received? Something that could be distributed and installed automatically with, say, Firefox? What percentage of everyday email users would have to use such encryption to make it impossible for the NSA or anyone else to keep up with its scanning? (And, by the way, how about encrypting all Skype phone calls?)

Military Intelligence

Happydaz — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 17:02:58 -0800

Military Intelligence: I've thought about joining the military for about six years. Now it seems that it might become reality. I'd like to become an intelligence officer because it seems like I'd use a similar skill set to what I do now (I'm a journalist.) But what branch of the service should I check out? Army/Navy/Marines/Air Force/Coast Guard? What about the CIA or NSA? Anybody know people in any of these branches? [more inside] I have a four-year degree, great test scores and a clean background, which I understand is required. Most of all, I'm looking to join to build better self discipline and learn leadership skills (I plan to return to the newspaper business some day.) From what I hear, the Marines are best at leadership/discipline, and the Navy has the best intel people. Any insights, anyone?