Help me process non-verbal communication

hobgadling — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 06:53:35 -0800

Help me understand my fiancee's non-verbal communication better. I have been going out with my fiancee for more than a year and a half, and we've been living together since last January. Things are usually pretty good, but sometimes she "asks" for something and I completely miss it. Other than having her explain why she is mad after this happens, is there any way that I can start to pick up more of what she is telling me non-verbally?

But it helps when training gorillas

gsteff — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 08:13:12 -0800

How long do you maintain eye contact? In one-on-one conversations, I tend to maintain eye contact for 5-6 seconds at a time, which means I'm usually the first to break it off. It doesn't make me that uncomfortable, but the back of my brain worries that by maintaining it too long, I might be making my partner uncomfortable, leading me to break it off frequently as an indicator of deference or politeness. Obviously, this can be overdone though, and I wonder whether always taking the initiative in breaking it itself makes others feel awkward.

So, in situations where there aren't any convenient distractions to give you both something else to look at, how long do you typically maintain eye contact? Also, does it vary with your partner's gender? A la this discussion, I'm warier of making females uncomfortable than males and wonder whether most females (in non-romantic, everyday situations) read deference in eye contact as a sign of politeness or a sign of nervousness.

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Help me process non-verbal communication

But it helps when training gorillas