Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with noisy

Keep it down up there.

sucre — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 10:35:06 -0800

Is there anything to be done about (probably unintentionally) loud neighbors? My boyfriend and I live in an older (1920s), 20-some unit brownstone. We moved in last September and our current upstairs neighbors moved in sometime in November.

Since they moved in, the neighbors (a couple) have been somewhat noisy: stomp-walking at late hours and early hours (2am, 6am) is the main issue. They seem to move furniture around at those odd hours and they have come home at 2am yelling/crying a few times. Their walking in the morning with shoes on wakes up both myself and my boyfriend (we both wear earplugs). This is the main concern as it happens almost every day.

Some weeks after they moved in, I wrote them a very polite note asking if they wouldn't mind not wearing shoes in the early morning hours. I blamed the building for being so un-soundproof and said to please let us know if we were ever too noisy. I didn't hear anything back but think they may have made an effort to be quieter for a week or two. Maybe writing notes is just a totally bad idea.

One interesting thing is that the previous upstairs neighbors had an infant and we hardly heard them, so I know that it's possible to be quieter. Now, I will understand if I'm being a huge wimp about this and this is a fact of apartment living. Just tell me. Writing a second note seems like overkill, as well as passive-aggressive. I just don't want to get so annoyed that I pull a broom-banging tactic or stomp upstairs in my pajamas angrily to yell at them. Any ideas?

(Part of the problem, too, is that I assume everyone is doing annoying things on purpose, when in reality the neighbors probably don't realize how loud they're being. I have a hard time being courteous [trying to be quiet for the people below us] and realizing that other people sometimes don't have the same level of courtesy. I am talking about this in therapy :)

Squeak squeak squeak squeak

Autumn — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:18:27 -0800

How do I either stop my bed from squeaking or stop being embarrassed about my downstairs neighbors potentially hearing it? I grew up in houses and have recently rented my first duplex. Yay! I was on my own until around a month ago when the neighbors moved in. This is when I started being a lot more conscious about how squeaky my mattress is. It's just two mattresses on the floor, no headboards or anything. I'm deathly embarrassed that my neighbors can hear me having sex. My partner who spent almost her entire life living in apartments tells me this is normal and she heard her neighbors going at it all the time. Is this really just normal?

I'm a tad mortified and on occasion when we'll be having sex I'll notice how noisy the bed is and be unable to focus because I'll be too afraid of the neighbors hearing. It's like, when I see them around and we exchange "Hi's" all I can think of is "These people have heard me having sex!"

I don't know if they've actually heard anything as I haven't received any complaints. Buut, I can hear when they walk around, have arguments, play music, dog barking, etc so I'm assuming they can hear what goes on in the bedroom. Apartment-dwellers, how do you handle this? Is there a way to fix this and if not how can I stop letting it bother me so much that they hear me? Also, doing it at her place is definitely not an option. I'm assuming there's some common solution that I'm missing because I know plenty of people live in duplexes and I know they aren't all celibate. Please enlighten me!

Please help me shut this dog up.

Spamfactor — Sat, 21 May 2011 09:49:01 -0800

How can I get my neighbors to silence their constantly barking dog, considering I'm not sure how to communicate with them? I've been putting up with my neighbor's dog for a long time now, and it's finally getting to the point where I just can't deal with it any more. The dog barks and howls non-stop for literally hours at a time, and I can hear it through the wall when I'm in my living room. It's infuriating.

The main problem I have is that I'm not sure how to complain to my neighbors. I live in a block of flats, and they live in the block of flats next to me. I don't actually know what flat in the building they stay in. So my first problem would be gaining access to their building, and even if I managed that I wouldn't know which door to knock on. How can I figure out how to get to them?

Also, I really don't want to have some awkward or confrontational exchange with people I've never met. All I want is for them to stop their dog from barking constantly, or if they are incapable of controlling him, to give the dog to someone who can take care of him properly.

Any ideas on how to get access to these people considering they are in a different building and I don't know their exact address?

How to get my neighbors to STFU?

ranunculus — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:14:04 -0800

The Super and his family in the apartment next door are way too loud. Three kids in a one bedroom, running, screaming, jumping. The apartment and his salary is paid for by the coop. What recourse as an owner/share holder in my coop do I have? I own my apartment in a brooklyn coop and live next door to the super, his wife, their two kids and, frequently, the wife's sister's kid. The kids are often out of control, running and jumping and screaming. It's an old building and the gaps in the walls and in the floors make it so that we not only hear every sound but feel it as well. Our ceiling shakes when they jump.

On weekends, the super often has company, which we also hear.

Additionally, the wife smokes out of her window, which we smell in our bedroom.

The neighbor on the other side of this apartment also has noise issues with them. We have both complained at various times to little end. When I've talked to the super's wife, asking her to to address the issue, she has made some effort and it's quiet until the next time. But it's quite clearly a learned thing as the Super's wife screams as loudly at the children as they do and as a long term solution I don't know how effective my complaints will be.

When I moved in, years ago, another super lived there and we had no problems. I sublet for a few years and was told by my tenants of the noise coming from them. In fact, two of my tenants over those years moved as a result, costing me a month or two in missed rent.

As an owner, what recourse do I have aside from continually asking them to be more considerate? It's gotten to the point where it's making me angry. Do I have any legal options? I am not going to move nor can I afford to insulate the shared walls and floors.

Please help!

HELP! New condo, thin walls, big mortgage

ninefour — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 21:26:51 -0800

I am looking for someone to test noise levels from a neighbour in a new condo in Vancouver, Canada. I need a professional opinion and I don't know where to start. I am looking for someone to test noise levels from a neighbour in a new condo in Vancouver, Canada. I need a professional opinion and I don't know where to start.

I have been living in my new condo for a year now (I bought it brand new). Since my neighbours moved in next door, I have been hearing a lot of noise from their apartment.

My place is long and narrow, (like a linear space) and their kitchen backs onto my kitchen. I can hear the shutting of kitchen cupboard doors and drawers and the sliding of their closet door shut. At night, in bed, I can hear my neighbour urinating as if he's in the same apartment. All of the noise is driving me nuts and since there are several people living in their apartment, they are always using the kitchen and bathroom. I have resorted to sleeping with a fan on.

This is a brand new concrete building, but it's not concrete between the walls. There are two pieces of drywall on each side, with insulation in between. There is a fairly large sized hole under the sink where the pipe goes into the wall - could a lot of the noise be coming through there? Or around the outlets even?

Anyway, I have told my warranty provider for the second time about the noise. The first time, they told me that they could not hear anything (because no one next door was home!) I am awaiting their response to my latest "claim" but I suspect it will get turned down.

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this, and also, who to contact to get the noise levels tested? I am not even sure what to look for. I feel that I need "evidence."

This is driving me up the wall. It's my first place and it's making me crazy... not to mention it's depressing. thanks for your advice.

How can I effectively get my neighbor to stop harrassing me about the reasonable amount of noise I make?

juniperesque — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 08:18:33 -0800

I am having a conflict about noise with my downstairs neighbor, and he has agreed to meet. What talking points should I bring up, how should I start this conversation, and what kinds of body language can I practice to make it effective? Unfortunately, this post could describe me to a T. I have a diagnosis of PTSD, I am in therapy, and I am working on it.

Background:
Around when I moved into my condo last year, downstairs neighbor (let's call him George) started making requests about noise. Suggestions seemed reasonable, and though I have lived both above and below people before, I said yes in the name of harmony. For example, he suggested that I try to walk more softly. Sure. I can do that. In fact, I proactively started taking my shoes off in my home, and put down some rugs. My boyfriend, who lives with me, abides by the same rules.

Then last summer (2010) I got a small dog, Bobby. He's ten pounds. My condo association rules specifically allow for dogs, but I knew I'd need to be conscientious of my downstairs neighbor, so when I got Bobby home, I enrolled him in training right away. Happily, he doesn't bark except for a short quick "arf" when someone is at the door. Aside from being a bit food-focused, he is a very well behaved dog. I have taken a lot of steps, partly from the advice here on ask.mefi and from the shelter where I adopted him, to make him a condo-appropriate little guy: He goes to doggy daycare when I am at work, and whenever he's not at daycare and I'm not at home, he is crated. He is only active inside my condo from about 7:15-8:00am when I get up and walk him before I head to work, and from 6:00-10:00pm when I am home from work. He is crated overnight. His activity generally involves a combination of flinging around stuffed toys, bounding about, chewing on rawhides, etc. The pitterpatter of his little feet is somewhat abated by my getting his nails clipped regularly and having rugs down, but yes, he is a small dog and he does move from room to room faster than human footfalls.

Since I brought Bobby home, George has slowly but surely become unhinged. At first, he started sending me emails asking me to please not play fetch with my dog inside the house. I don't actually do this. Then he emailed and said that he can hear thumping of the dog playing with his toys and balls inside the house. I replied that we didn't use balls in the house, but that I'd take away his non-plush toys during non-daylight hours, which pretty much means they're not used anymore since he's at daycare during those hours.

Once a week or so now, George has emailed telling me that he can hear me playing fetch inside with Bobby at "all hours of the day and night," and that I am a very inconsiderate person. (Note: we don't play fetch, and I work full-time.) Since his emails have started to include veiled legal threats, I've been forwarding them to my lawyer, who thinks he is crazy, and has told me to pay him no mind. Saturday night was the final straw.

I had a group of friends over - a total of six people counting me. We had dinner and played some video games from 6pm to 10pm on the nose, and then they stayed and chatted until about 11:30pm. One friend is disabled and walks with a cane. At 8:00pm, George called my phone - this is a first - and I didn't pick it up, because I (rightfully) assumed that he was going to complain about the completely reasonable amount of noise in my home at 8pm on a Saturday night. I had my boyfriend listen to the message, and he threatened to call the police. Boyfriend headed down to his unit and knocked on the door at 9pm, after we finished eating, to talk to George face-to-face, but George did not answer his door.

The next morning, I had an email from George. It explained our jumping up and down last night was so loud that it knocked a ceramic item of sentimental value from his shelf onto his floor, where it broke, and also that if he ever hears that level of noise again, "even if it is 12:00 noon," he is calling the police.

I wrote him back and told him that Boyfriend went down to talk to him at 9:00 but he did not answer his door, that 8pm is a completely reasonable time to have people over, that he did not mention an item in his home breaking on the phone message, and that if he had come up and knocked on my door when the item broke so we could address it immediately, I would have considered contacting and paying for a licensed ceramic restorer. I also told him that he is welcome to call the police if he feels that that will resolve the issue at hand. While I do not honestly believe that my friend walking around in my home with her cane at 8pm caused his ceramic item to crash to the floor, if he could have knocked on the door - since we were both home - and shown it to me at the time instead of calling and leaving threatening messages on my voice mail, we could have worked something out.

He wrote back and basically said that the amount of noise I make is tantamount to harassment and a few other choice words. He suggested that since he is at work from 7:15am to 6:00pm, I could "limit Bobby's movement inside to those hours." Those are the hours I work, so no, that is not something I am going to do. He suggested that we meet face-to-face to come to some sort of understanding.

My lawyer thinks that he needs to accept the fact that he lives in a dog-friendly condo and that while he may have hit the lottery and lived dog-free for five years, those times are over, and my dog does not make an unreasonable or unusual amount of noise. In fact, he makes less noise, most would agree, than 90% of other dogs. George is lucky I didn't adopt a Mastiff. Frankly, George is lucky I don't have a toddler, or a disability that requires the use of an assistive device. He lives below two computer nerds and a ten-pound dog. Lawyer did say that agreeing to meet with him was okay and would not be considered an admission of guilt if he did decide to get litigious later.

So, here I am. Boyfriend has agreed to come with me to this meeting, in the interest of my safety. But what can I do to make this meeting effective? How can I best get across what needs to be said? How can I try and work on my body language so I don't dissolve into tears, shake uncontrollably, or have a panic attack? What are the points I specifically need to bring up to achieve the result of him not contacting me again about noise, when I am doing everything possible to abate it?

Other info which might affect your answers:

I am female, late 20's. George is male, late 30's I think, lives alone.

George has been in his condo for five years, I moved in last fall.

We are both on the condo board. Up until last month, George was the board president.

The condo board does not step in when there are neighbor-to-neighbor conflicts.

We are in Chicago. The building has 19 units. I am on the top floor.

The association bylaws specifically welcome pets including dogs, but the only language that mentions behavior is that the association can sanction owners who have "nuisance" pets. It does not define the term nuisance, but I doubt Bobby is it.

My lawyer is aware of all that has transpired and believes that the law is on my side.

My boyfriend would much rather knock on George's door, tell him firmly to stop harassing me or else, and leave, but we both know that is not an option.

I wish George would just leave me alone, but this meeting is going to have to happen.

How do I eat quietly?

krisjohn — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:28:30 -0800

I eat noisily and I want to fix it. I eat with my mouth closed, but it's still quite loud. What am I doing wrong?

Noise canceling technology for a whole apartment?

gilsonal — Mon, 25 May 2009 11:29:39 -0800

Any good solutions for canceling out my neighbor's bass from their stereo without headphones? Headphones aren't an option all the time if I need to sleep. Are their nose canceling stereos? How well do they work? What else could I try? Just moved into a new place and my next door neighbors have about 20 people coming and going during the day, mostly right outside my patio door, and also have a huge bass hooked up to their tv and stereo. I'm a quiet person, and its starting to drive me nuts that I can't spend a day without hours trying to ignore it. I know this is the kind of situation that ends up in people being annoyed, and I'd like to get along with these guys. I'm prone to headaches and sleep day hours, and I don't want this to turn into a brawl. Its to the point I can't even spend time in my living room and I've taken to leaving my apartment altogether to escape the noise.

I see plenty of noise canceling headphones, and speakers for CB's but what I'd like is an audio player (kind of like a white noise machine) that would send opposing sound wave out. Using an old laptop with speakers to accomplish this as well would be doable.

Are there systems out there? How well do they work? Any other non-confrontational, non-passive aggressive ways to deal with this?

What's the best way to deal with my annoying neighbors?

gchucky — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:41:36 -0800

My upstairs neighbors and I have had small battles throughout the course of the year, but it's been getting worse as of late. Recently they've taken to stomping around at odd hours of the night, and it's driving us crazy. What's the best way to defuse the situation with them? Here's the story. I live on the second floor of a four story apartment building in Queens, NY. There are between 8 and 15 people living in the apartment above me, three of whom are little kids. I've had to talk to the head of the household several times, and he's been nothing but cold, brusque and nasty.

We've had our spats with them over the past year or two. In the second half of last year, someone upstairs was routinely pouring a liquid out the window at 1 AM that was urine occasionally mixed with lemon soap detergent. Only after I repeatedly talked to my sup and showed him both pictures and physical evidence outside of the window did he actually go up and talk to them - and even then, they denied pouring anything out the window, though it stopped after that.

But recently it's been worse. Their kids run around the house from around 4 PM to as late as 11:30 PM. My girlfriend and I have to be up fairly early for work, so it's really awful - not to mention that most of the light fixtures start to rattle around, which will probably not end well. We've taken to banging the ceiling with a pole when it's particularly bad, but they just started stomping around in response.

So things are getting worse, and I don't know how to deal with it. I should probably talk to my sup again, but he sort of likes the people upstairs and tends to be protective of them. I don't do well with confrontations, and I don't want to have to go up there and talk to them.

What should I do? What are the most constructive ways of dealing with this?

Which air compressor is quieter?

austinlee — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:47:25 -0800

Which air compressor is quieter? The HUSKY air scout. LINK Or this Craftsman 2 gallon one? LINK Any other suggestions will be appreciated! Thanks!

How to find out if apartments will be noisy

pravit — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 15:11:37 -0800

How can you determine if an apartment is noisy before moving in? Is there any good way to determine if an apartment will be noisy before moving in, e.g. neighbors playing loud music, thin walls, people stomping around upstairs, etc.?

Please shut up the noise in my head

Anonymous — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:58:53 -0800

Strangestquestioneverfilter: There’s always music in my head. Make it stop. I constantly have music looping through my head. First thing in the morning, whenever I get home, when I’m brushing my teeth or sitting somewhere waiting for an appointment. Basically, whenever I’m alone and there’s not a television on or something, I have music playing in my head. It’s not like it’s voices or anything but it’s annoying. Before bed, I try to meditate a bit just to get things quieter in there and help me sleep, but as soon as I’m done meditating, the music comes back. If I happened to be playing a particular song in the car and it’s particularly catchy, the damn thing will not go away, (Note to Duffy: That ‘Mercy’ song? Yeah, cute … but ahhhhh!)
I’ve also tried visualizing myself turning off the I-pod or turning off the car radio and it really doesn’t help.
Please tell me I’m not nuts … and how to make it stop.

Help me deal with a baby noisy neighbour.

Mwongozi — Fri, 02 May 2008 12:18:57 -0800

Help me deal with a noisy neighbour. Difficulty: Neighbour is one month old. I live in mid-terrace house. (In the UK, if it matters.) Recently one neighbour acquired a young baby, and this baby likes to scream. A lot. Especially at night.

The baby sleeps in a room which is on the other side of a wall to my bed, and their parents don't seem too interested in (or perhaps they're simply unable) stopping it from screaming.

It is interrupting my sleep and even during the day the sound of a screaming baby is annoying, and stressful.

What should I do? Go next door and tell them? Even if I did, what could they do? I feel somewhat trapped!

How am I going to sneak up on people with such noisy shoes?

cazoo — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:13:10 -0800

My shoes are noisy. How can I get them to be quiet? I have a beautiful pair of mens leather loafers that I bought last year. These aren't cheap shoes. They come from a very nice brand and cost me several hundred dollars. The problem is that they go CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP when I walk around on hard surfaces, namely the sidewalk. I though breaking them in would quiet them down but after several months, they are still pretty noisy. I'd like to keep them as they are the most handsome pair of shoes I own. Is there a way I can quiet them?

how to ask neighbor to be quiet

lunachick — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 14:05:00 -0800

My upstairs neighbor has become increasingly loud. He installed wood floors before moving in a year ago, which amplifies the sound. I can tolerate most noise, especially during the early evening. But he comes home after midnight, often with boisterous friends, and their noise keeps me up for hours. I've spoken to him on two occasions to keep it down. Now I want to write a letter. I want to be respectful and respected, but I'm not sure what to say other than to keep it down after hours. I know letter between neighbors can't be enforced, so how can I write it in a way that he'll be understanding and comply? Thanks in advance for advice!

Can I reduce the noise coming from my Pocket Rocket vibe?

lorimer — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 06:52:37 -0800

Is every Doc Johnson Pocket Rocket REALLY FREAKING LOUD, or do I have a defective one? Any simple mods to lower the noise level? Or do I just need to buy a different (but still cheap, mini & battery-powered) vibe that's not a POS? And if so, which one? (My previous Doc Johnson vibe was quiet & great -- for the six weeks before it died.)

Stuck with loud car alarms -- help me get sleep!

Vidiot — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 03:41:30 -0800

Do I have any real options in dealing with loud car alarms? (Short of taking a brick to the windshield, which is what I really want to do.) I live in NYC on a usually-quiet residential street, but often at night a car alarm will go off for maybe 20 minutes straight, or a truck will rumble by and set off alarms on five or ten different cars simultaneously.

I'm planning to identify the offending cars and leave polite notes under the windshield wipers...which I'm sure will be ignored. The City Council speaker has specifically ruled out banning loud car alarms, and I doubt I could get the NYPD to enforce the noise ordinance. (Will calling 311 actually do anything?) Am I doomed to waking up several times a night?

Also: has a car alarm ever stopped a thief?

noisy water pipes

BoscosMom — Sun, 15 May 2005 21:49:26 -0800

At my cousins' new house the water pipes make this awful and continuous groaning noise when she waters the front lawn but not the back. Any ideas what may be causing it and if anything can be done about it? Cheap fix is what we're hoping for.