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Gettin' Outta Dodge...

jara1953 — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:17:48 -0800

Hellllllp !No passports. Quick getaway to a sunny, quiet beach for a frazzled, stressed, tired 50's couple next week. GF an I want to split from NYC for 5-7 days. Too much information on the google and this is close on the green, : http://ask.metafilter.com/140953/Where-to-go-for-a-short-vacation-in-the-Caribbean. Thanks.

Guilt and anxiety about declining dates and relationships

Chrysalis — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:07:09 -0800

Help me overcome my fear of rejection - the catch - it's a fear of rejecting other people Any time I have to turn someone down I become horribly anxious and terrified of hurting them and how they might react. This means that sometimes I avoid giving people a chance because I'm scared of having to break things off, and sometimes just going along with things cos I feel guilty to say no - which is even worse. I started dating for a bit but any time I had to break things off I'd feel so awful it just wasn't worth the fun parts. I've been trying to limit my involvement to people unlikely to form an attachment to me (because of this and the fact that I'm totally emotionally unavailable after a horrible relationship) but this weekend I drank too much and went home with a friend who I thought would leave it at that, but now I realise I missed lots of signs that he actually has feelings for me. I think I had some feelings for him but wasn't planning on doing anything about them. Now I feel like I accidentally used/misled him and I feel physically sick, my sleep is messed up etc. We are supposed to go out to dinner tomorrow but I don't think it's going to be like our normal catch-ups. I've been anxious all week and need to talk to him today. How can I gently explain that I wanted to do it at thetime but don't want to take it any further? He's been so good to me and I'm scared he's going to hate me and be upset and not want to be my friend. And in general, how can I stop being so terrified of disappointing people?

The minor works of Gustav Verklempt

Cold Lurkey — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:02:52 -0800

Do me a favor here... make me cry. Or at least a little verlklempt. I would like to add to my collection of videos that get me a little choked up or emotional. I'm looking to get worked up, but not in in a "oh gosh that's so sad, now i'm sad" sense, rather the upswelling of hope and overwhelming goodness that, you know, catches in the throat or upper digestive tract.
To elucidate and reveal what sort of sap I am, videos of returning soldiers surprising their children, or dogs do this for me, as well as (loathe to admit it) will.i.am's obama video's Yes We Can and It's a New Day both ring that bell.
I am asking this on a day wherein Ican feel myself slipping into a sort of poverty of spirit, so please, help me find those emotional resonances that make me feel more human. And sniffly and salty.

Late to the dating game?

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:25:07 -0800

Late to the dating game? So, I'm in my early 20s, graduated from college and now working. I have absolutely NO experience with guys, and I'm not sure how to gain some. I'm friendly and talkative, have a lot of interests, and take care of myself (in good shape, no makeup or dressy clothes, but clean and w/form-fitting tees and jeans). I was kind of a tomboy in middle school and H.S., so I missed out on the whole dating/hooking up thing. College was a large commuter school, so I didn't interact w/people long enough to build long-term relationships. Now that I'm working (very-youth oriented place at that), I find that any guy I'm attracted to is in a relationship - and I refuse to be the "homewrecker", so...

I'm not sure what to do. At this point I don't need a long-term relationship or anything-just a date would be nice (maybe even a first kiss!). I have issues w/the whole "club" scene, since I don't drink, and I don't feel insanely comfortable dancing around, etc. in public; besides, I have a pretty busy schedule. I used to have issues talking to guys I was attracted to (all other guys, no problems-I had a ton of friends), but I feel I've gotten past that. Funnily enough, I apparently come off as otherwise mature; people have tended to guess I'm in my late 20s (if not older) apparently because of the way I talk/my personality(?)

Ideally, I'd like my first date to be the result of someone asking me out, if only because my confidence in this arena is low (thanks to my lack of experience). Truthfully, I've been tempted to even hire an escort, just so I can practice and gain some skills, but...something about that just seems off, so I've been holding back.

Anyway, sorry this is so long, but thanks for whatever help you guys can offer!

Keyboard cover removal crashed my iBook

sugarbx19 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:01:19 -0800

Removing silicone keyboard cover crashes iBook. Solution needed. Since I fairly live over my iBook keyboard, eating, rolling cigarettes, etc. it gets filthy. After spending about two hours cleaning it recently, I decided to buy a keyboard cover. I ended up with this one:
http://www.kbcovers.com/servlet/Detail?no=78

It feels nice and does not interfere with typing in the least, in fact, seems to protect keys from the pounding I tend to give them. However, probably related to the fact that I live in a climate where humidity is high, I noticed some slight condensation building up under the cover after about a week. When I lifted the cover off, the iBook crashed: cursor froze, etc, requiring a restart. It took this happening twice, and having to repair Spotlight function damage before I realized that removing the cover caused it, and I've since found some posts on the net where others have complained about static discharge issues. BTW my iBook almost never crashes even under intensive use.
I typically run this computer 24/7 and only do restarts every 4 to 5 days. I never shut the case except on the rare occasions I take it away from home. I doubt my iBook has crashed 5 other times in its life. It's the last model iBook made, born mid-2005.

My questions:
1. If I shut down prior to removing the keyboard cover, would this be a risk-free method?
2. Is there a proven and scientific way to safely discharge this static without requiring shutting the computer down? I'm concerned that static is building up even if I don't move the cover, and that something unexpected could cause a discharge, just under normal use. Plus I'm concerned about the moisture/condensation issue. Would using an anti-static wristband solve this problem for certain?
3. Is this just hopeless? Keyboard covers are inherently risky? Give up and return the thing?

Personal experience stories welcomed.

No Sugar, No Caffeine Nowhere to be found.

Jezztek — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:30:44 -0800

Where can I find sugar and caffeine free fountain drinks? I crave the occasional fountain soda. It is an itch that just can't be scratched by bottled/canned or non-carbonated beverages. The problem is my doctor recently pulled me off caffeine, ending my twenty year love affair with that sweet stimulant, and I hate sugary sodas (ugh, so thick and sticky).

So now it is much harder to find a fountain drink that meets my needs (diet versions of clear sodas, grape/orange flavors or rootbeers tend to be good). The two places I've found are Panera Bread (diet-caffeine free coke) Sonic Drive through (Diet Sprite). Anyone else know of any others I may have missed here this part of the country (I'm in central Ohio) especially a convenience store-gas station chain open late?

Thanks much!

Web graphics and ads filter?

jpg15 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:53:11 -0800

Web filter filter: I seem to remember a link to an NYT article that just contained the full text of the article in nice big letters, with no graphics, banners, or ads. It was fully attributed, with links to the original, but it was much more pleasant to read, especially for a long article. Is there a website that will filter out the clutter and provide links that can be forwarded?

So where can I go see the stars without having to sleep in a tent?

Lord_Pall — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:52:23 -0800

So where can I go see this Milky Way you speak of? More specifically, where's an awesome local place to go see the stars if I'm based in Los Angeles and with a wife who doesn't camp?

Putting all my eggs in a basket.

bradly — Wed, 20 May 2009 10:40:23 -0800

I'm going to be away from a computer for a couple years and am tangled in every corner of the internet. What should I do to insure it's all here when I get back? I have a website which will obviously have to have domain renewal, etc., but I'm paranoid about certain accounts being deactivated after a period of not being used. Here's a list:

Askmefi
Gmail
Myspace Music
Facebook
Twitter
Stumbleupon
Flickr
Blogger
Tumblr
Soundclick
Mediafire
Youtube

Are there any other steps I should take on the internet before I leave?

thanks in advance.

It's pretty but what is it?

amethysts — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:47:27 -0800

What Mozart song is this and where can I find an un-messed with version? This has been bugging me for years and since I finally found something I could link to I thought I'd see if anyone here could ID it..

My toe continuously keeps threatening to drop out of joint causing much distress and pain - any ideas about what's going on?

Chorus — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 11:49:53 -0800

My toe continuously keeps threatening to drop out of joint causing much distress and pain - any ideas about what's going on? Back in February while out walking, the second toe of my right foot popped right out of joint with no prior warning. After much pain and clutching with both hands, did the toe go back into joint and, while the foot was incredibly tender and sore for the rest of the day, I was up walking fine the next day and... fine also for the two months since. So I just wrote it off as one of those things.

However in the past week, foot-matters have seriously deteriorated - rapidly and out of the blue. What began as the odd niggling 'uh oh here we go again' sensation has now become quite debilitating. It's gotten to the point where if I walk for longer than 5-10 minutes, it feels as if that second toe is going to drop right out of is socket! I get a weird, heavy feeling in the toe, accompanied by a 'knot' of pain in the front/top of the foot or the occasional weakness in the inner side of my right knee. To look at it, the toe doesn't seem swollen or sticking out at a weird angle, nor is it discoloured. When I'm walking, I get the feeling that I shouldn't lift my foot too high [or the toe, you know, drop out] and also the overwhelming urge to scrunch up my toes or grab my foot to keep everything in place. If I DO scrunch my toes, I have to be very, very careful because the dislocation feels like it's going to happen again.

The real weird part is, I can walk around and manage fine if I'm just puttering about the office or house, but the other morning I couldn't complete my usual 30min walk to work and today just walking by the end of the day is making me pause and gasp every few steps, wincing at the pain and what *might* happen. But I've no numbness anywhere and after rest the foot is fine for a while.

I've finally going to the doctor in the morning, I'm just wondering if what's wrong with me will get dismissed as a mere sprain or something trivial [considering I can walk on the foot after resting for a bit and the toe itself isn't, you know, black and swollen], when honestly it feels so much worse. I know what a sprain is like and this is so removed from that. But if it was a break - since February? - I'd certainly know about it before now.

Does anybody have any experience with random dislocation and might know what it is/causes? Or what treatment is ahead of me tomorrow with the doc?

Oh No! I Can't Find Oh No!

carpyful — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:44:22 -0800

Music-filter: Anyone know a downtempo electronica artist called "oh no" (or "o no" or "ohno" or..)? I was just at a cafe and I really liked the music they were playing. It was light, electronica music, if I had to describe it. The one track I remember sounded like they sampled an old french song and sped it up (so it sounded high-pitched'ish).

I asked the barista what was playing and he said the artist was "oh no" and described the music as downtempo. I went back home and googled "oh no" "o no" "ohno" and "o no" to no avail.

The closest I found was "Oh No Numo". While it sounds sort of similar, I'm pretty sure this isn't what I'm looking for.

Does anyone know what I heard?

How long can the dough for the no-knead bread recipe sit?

tealeaf522 — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:04:41 -0800

How long can the dough for the no-knead bread recipe sit? I made a batch of the dough last night thinking that I would bake it tonight as part of my dinner. But I won't be able to make it home until very late and know for a fact that I will be working late tomorrow night as well so I actually won't be able to bake it until Saturday evening possibly. Will the dough be ok or should I just throw it out and start a new batch later?

Firefox update hosed my No Squint

mikeand1 — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:52:36 -0800

[Firefox Filter] The latest Firefox update seems to have hosed my No Squint add on. How to repair? I rely heavily on the No Squint add on. Unfortunately, when I updated to Firefox 3.0.4 today, No Squint stopped working. In fact, trying to manage the add on from the Options window causes the window to freeze.

Is there any way I can revert to the previous version of Firefox, preferably without having to re-do everything?

Thanks

No Wig for Old Men

ashepp — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:00:48 -0800

Looking for bits and pieces for 'No Country for Old Men' Halloween Costume...Anyone know where I can get a 'Javier Bardem' looking bowl cut wig ?

I really AM sick on a Monday, Boss...

ticktockdoc — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 02:12:54 -0800

Ugh. I actually *am* sick - sick since I woke up this [Monday] morning. But calling into work has me cringing under the duvet. Please help me out of this quandry... So I woke up this morning to a swollen gut and no less than three(!) rather explosive bouts of diahorrea [nice]. The problem? It's Monday morning - the most suspicious day of the week to be sick. I know it's only a 24 hour thing - I blame Sunday's pizza.

Anyway, I crawled back into bed around 8am and MEANT to call in sick to work [I'm one of two admin in a 6-person office]. But at around 9:15 my coworker texts me to say The Boss is in. This is special admin code: The Boss is supposed to be on a fortnight's holidays. When I ring in she says he's delayed his holiday until Wednesday. ~~WHYWHYWHY~~

So not only am I sick on Monday, which looks suspicious enough, I've also rung the office only minutes after the boss arrives. ARH! In my half-sleepy state, I didn't realize how darn suspicious that'd look.

Anyway, I was put through to Boss, who was nice and calm and quiet as I croaked my pathetic 'I'm sick' explanation. Throughout which I just wanted to scream ITS TRUE ITS TRUE ITS TRUE. I told him I'd *definitely* be in tomorrow, that I am convinced it's just a 24 hour thing [I am], that I might even wander in later today after I've slept it off.

Even that last line sounds desperate and suspicious.

Anyway, since that call I've had the runs again. Nice. So the prospects of heading into work around 12 or 1 are looking a tad more remote. I usually dress up and make an effort with make-up when I go to work - but I was thinking of slobbing in sans warpaint and wearing sweats [which I can techically do, we've no dress code] to make my point that yes, I'm sick. But not *too* sick that I can't work, you know?

I need damage control! How can I stop this looking like I bunked off work because the boss was on hols? Does going into the office make it look like I only came because The Boss is there? Do I go in and look suitably haggard? Do I show up tomorrow morning right as rain and have everybody think I just couldn't drag my carcass out of bed on a Monday? The office knows I don't drink, so I don't even have a hangover excuse after the weekend. I'm rarely sick too - in the year and a half I'm there, I've only taken four other sick days.

I just can't shake the impression I've made a mess of this situation. The dicky tummy doesn't help either. Please, any advice or perspective would be *so* apprecaited!

Firefox and Youtube aren't mating

watercarrier — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:50:25 -0800

YouTube isn't displaying videos in Firefox 3.0 (upgrade) - why? Just did what I said I wouldn't do and downloaded the latest version of FF - and now it doesn't display any videos on Youtube. Uninstalled flash plugin - installed - doesn't help. Any ideas?

To purposely make myself below-average to avoid being average?

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 21:39:57 -0800

What looks, uh, the least bad on a transcript - a C or a D w/ an A or B as a repeat grade? Basically, I want to know from a school or employer's point of view, is the better to have received a grade of a 'C' or to have gotten a non-passing grade 'D' or similar with a higher grade the next quarter when I'd retake the course? The original grade will not factor into my GPA, however it would still appear on the transcript. I'm confident I'd do much better the second time around, but is it even worth it or should I just try to finish off the course strong and most likely, end up with a C or C+. It should be noted I have to achieve a C- or worse to be eligible to repeat the course, so getting a D would be on purpose.

Who said, "no!"

wordsmith — Fri, 16 May 2008 09:02:25 -0800

What are some relatively obscure examples of someone who said no to something? For instance, someone who was offered an impressive job or unique opportunity but turned it down because of having to give up a part of themselves.

Setting boundaries and graciously saying no

seekingsimplicity — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:01:37 -0800

I am NOT good at setting boundaries with people. For example I have a male neighbor who is as nice as he can be but is VERY talkative and boring to me. He drops by our house unannounced and has hours to spend talking with me. I have to cut him off and I am not good at it. It is probably my co-dependence. I seem to want to be nice to him even though I am bored out of my mind. Also, I am not good at thinking of excuses at the drop of a hat to give people when I do not want to do something.

I am an otherwise confident person but in this area I am a PEOPLE PLEASER!

My biking partner can almost always talk me into a ride even when I do not want to ride! My neighbor can have me stand there listening to him for a good half hour! This winter he asked me if he can have me over for iced tea next summer to discuss my time in France and I said sure. He is just being neighborly (he is married and so am I) and I do not want to go but could not quickly think of why I could not go to his back porch for tea next summer!

I am not able to quickly think of a plausible excuse when I am asked to do something I do not want to do. I cannot lie quickly on my feet!

Anybody know how I can learn to take care of myself and be gracious at the same time?

How to rebuild a life? Long....

Anonymous — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 20:48:09 -0800

Reconstructing myself - where to begin? Last night my wife of 22 years announced that she and I were finished as a married couple. Now, at the age of 53, I find myself alone. Presently, I am seeking the anonymity of a bunch of strangers because it doesn't seem hurt as much this way. A cross sectioning if you will. Besides, MetaFites are generally a younger bunch, and they may have a more optimistic perspective on this. We have boys aged 16 and 20, and I love them like I love my next breath. Therefore, I am committed to being around for them- within walking distance for the youngest. The oldest is 2 hours away at college, the youngest is still in high school.

The most immediate question that I have to ask is; how could I have been so blind to the fact that my wife was unhappy? I don't drink much, womanize or carry on in or hang out with the boys. I have never called her when I was drunk, and always tried to be considerate of her feelings. Last night she was beyond rational, and I can't figure out where her incredible anger towards me is coming from. (menopause?). BTW she has refused counselling either one on one or together, although she did go to one therapy session.

In spite of all that, I now need to rebuild some parts of my life as I allowed myself to become intertwined in hers. I lost my father 12 years ago, my only brother 4 years ago, and I act as primary caregiver for my aging (83) and blind mother, so i have no family other than my kids. I live in a rural community so there are few services available. Her family in in the immediate area and are for the most part, supportive of me - but of course, they are HER family. I expect we will maintain civil relations.

I have tried to take stock of where I am in this life, and here it is in a nutshell.

The good:
- My midlife crisis resulted in my decision to get healthier, not buy a sports car and chase 22 year old hotties.
- I am a good person most days, not allowing emotions to overrule good judgement.
- I am in excellent physical condition and health.
- i have a reasonable income and post secondary education
- I have some monies saved up.
- my staff says that I am a good manager and that they would follow me almost anywhere.
- I have been an excellent dad, and have never failed to tell my boys every night that I love them. (Course, with a 16 yr old, I gotta be discreet about stuff like that)
- Most people in the community know me, and some even like me.

The not so good
- Despite my good health and good body, my inherited looks are umm, unique. And, as I age, I notice that they are getting more unique. Bald, big ears (a DEADLY combo!) and skinny, er, wiry. Think Albert Einstein, bald, but not as clever, unfortunately.
- I have no family to spend time with other than my boys - who of course, are very close to my wife's extended family and their kids.
- I have no interest in dating - obviously. Maybe that will change.
- I am limited in my social and conversational skills, believing that I better show my character through actions rather than conversation. This has been commented on by others in the community.
-Being in a small community, I am not sure how I would react if I saw my ex-wife on a date.
-My job can be stressful, and I can sometimes carry that home. I am getting better at compartmentalizing that however.

So, how to I rebuild my life? Its painful to write this, but you know, I just don't want to die alone or spend Christmas by myself. The "die alone" thing gets more acute the closer I get to my brother's age when he died.

How do other people rebuild parts of their lives after getting a bombshell dropped on them? I want to look up with the missing two front teeth and say "life, is that all you got?".

Any information or opinions are appreciated. I know this sure ain't the biggest tragedy out there, but right now it is to me. Responses from ladies that can provide insight especially wrt the menopause thing would be great.

How do I housebreak a true feral dog?

shaarog — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:40:39 -0800

Feral Dog Filter: How do you housebreak a true feral dog who has proven to be untrainable after 3-4 weeks of crating? We have 4 dogs, one of which is a basenji-beagle mix who is a true feral dog. She is currently 5 years, but was not exposed to humans in any way before approximately one year. She has lived with us for the last four, since coming into captivity.

All the dogs use the doggie door, including her (for the most part). She uses the outdoors most of the time, but will go indoors from time to time, more than once or twice a month. For a long time we resigned ourselves to a home with no rugs, but having recently remodeled and refinished the original hardwoods, this situation is no longer tenable. She is not adoptable.

Crate training has been tried previously to absolutely no avail. Crate training is the only housebreaking method with which we are familiar. She will only come to us, no other humans, in certain very limited situations (eg. lying on the bed, sitting in a particular chair) otherwise she bolts away from any human contact. She is so distracted by being leashed that she will not defecate or urinate on the lead while housebreaking. She will hold it for days and let go eventually in the crate. She seemed to learn nothing from 3 weeks of crate training previously.

We've had no trouble training the other three, or several previous dogs, but this feral has us in knots. My husband is a veterinary assistant with several years experience, and even his vetshave had no input.

Any useful suggestions?

Real Genius 2.0?

hypersloth — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:20:57 -0800

Is there a online repository for ongoing consumer contests? As in "every purchase is a chance to win." Lately, instead of "one free soda" or "please try again" underneath the bottlecap, it's an alphanumeric string to enter at their site to see if it wins. I first noticed the online shift when McDonald's expanded their Monopoly game so that there were more chances to win. Now I see it all the time in junk mail.
It suddenly occurred to me that I've literally thrown away millions of chances to win whatever by not bothering with tons of whatever, because we all know the law requires:
"No Purchase Necessary"
So, I guess I'm thinking of the movie Real Genius here (except Laslo wasn't online!)
I know there are coupon-tracking sites; does anyone know of a no-purchase-necessary forum/wiki/something which saves consumers from actually having to consume first?

Van Morrison sample

dooabledawg — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 05:14:07 -0800

Calling all Van Morrison fanatics. I'm trying to identify a sample of music used at the end song "A town called Paradise" on the album "No guru, no method, no teacher". I can't upload the music here (don't know how) but the sample appears 5 minutes and 18 seconds into the song. It's driving me mad cos I heard the piece before, many years ago and I can't place it. I think it's a classical piece and was used in an epic western film like "The magnificent seven" or something like that. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I don't want to do business with you

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:16:56 -0800

How to graciously end a soon to be partnership. I ran into a friend about 2 weeks ago and he had an idea for an online business. He told me about it and wanted some advice. I went through some basics with him, and he asked if I would be able to work on it, I told him that I would but it would definitely cost him. I really wasn't too interested at this point, so I told him I would get back to him with some more info and I changed the topic of discussion.

Fast forward a few days later, I sent him an email with some in depth information (as a favor) and I subsequently met up with him later and he was like, "how about we work as a team. 50/50 down the line" I did something stupid and told him it sounded like a good idea...I definitely should have told him that I would get back to him.

Here's the problem, I don't particularly want to work with him. The idea isn't bad but something in my gut says, STOP! DON'T DO IT. Some of the reasons why I don't want to work with him:

1) I will be doing most of the work. We've played it off and thought happy thoughts about sharing the workload evenly but I KNOW that I will be doing most of it.

2) A lot of it is in my hands. The execution, the implementation, the experience. And I semi-feel that he wants me to be his partner to mooch this stuff out of me.

3) We're friends and have been for years. We're not really close.

4) He kind of annoys me now. Like always. I don't know how to explain it.

ANYWAY, please help me graciously get out of this arrangement. Nothing legally has been done and so far it has stayed verbal.