Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with nightmares

I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space

NoraReed — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:42:33 -0800

NightmareFilter: Every few months I have a really bad nightmare that leaves me sort of shaken and out of it for the rest of the day. How do I shake that kind of mood? I'm not having trouble sleeping because of fear of nightmares, because I don't get them often, but the ones that I remember when I wake up are usually disturbing and difficult to get out of my head. This happens both when I go on with my daily routine and when I try to snap out of it and do something different.

Does anyone have any mental health hacks for shaking that post-nightmare state of mind?

I should note that I am depressed and medicated for it (Lexapro), if that changes anything.

I'm dreaming of a well-rested Unicorn...

Unicorn on the cob — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:48:12 -0800

Almost every dream I have is a nightmare, if I remember the dream. Is there a way to train myself not to do this? Inspired by this question, I realized that almost every time I dream, it's a nightmare. They are typically very vivid and not "anxiety" dreams, like taking a test without studying. On the scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is, say, a sex dream and 10 equals me being in a situation where I have experienced hours of physical torture and eventually am eaten alive by rabid animals (and waking up feeling nauseated, heart pounding, sweaty), I'd say the majority of my dreams are in the 6-8 range.

I have also experienced cyclical nightmares every night for up to 10 months. By this I mean I can wake up 6-10 times a night and pick right up in the nightmare where I left off, or experience the same nightmare every single night for almost a year. I mostly dream like this:

- One night per week I'll have a fantastic, amazing, vivid dream that is weird/fun (it's never more frequently than that)

- Two or three nights per week I won't dream at all

- Three nights per week or more, sometimes up to six nights a week, I will dream about unpleasant things like going to jail for something I didn't do, having my teeth disintegrate slowly and painfully while I try to get them fixed, dying from painful and irreparable injuries, trying to run away from something but being pulled back slowly in an unbearably long, thin trail (like the spaghettification effect of a black hole)

Not sure if this matters, but about 3x per week I have to rely on Ambien to sleep at all and have suffered chronic insomnia since I was 11. The Ambien appears 100% unrelated to my dreaming patterns, as I have had happy dreams, no dreams, and nightmares all on Ambien.

Is there some kind of meditation, visualization or medication I could try to break this? I frequently feel physically and mentally exhausted and DO get sleepy, but dread sleeping knowing that I most likely will wake up terrified. I handle the nightmares fine if another person is in the house with me, for some reason.

If I could break cycle, I think I'd be able to feel rested. Has anyone else experienced this and been able to change it?

Never had a nightmare

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:29 -0800

I've never had a nightmare. Why? Is this normal? I can't fully account for when I was a small child, but in recent memory I cannot remember ever having had a nightmare, or even a truly disturbing dream. I've had exceptionally vivid dreams as well as the usual anxiety dreams of being naked or falling on rare occassions, but never anything close to nightmarish. Amongst my friends and family I can't find anyone else who has never had a nightmare. It feels weird.

Googling "never had a nightmare" shows I am not alone, I just wonder if there might be a cause, or an article or some sort of insight into this. I've had a normal-to-difficult life including problems with depression and anxiety and a fair share of waking problems, I can't think why I might be immune to having nightmares. Is there a cause, or am I just lucky? Any tips for inducing a nightmare? I guess I am coming from a view of nightmares being an accepted part of everyone's life, perhaps they aren't?

FWIW I'm not on any medications or diet, I drink moderately, no drugs, exercise daily, eat healthily. Slept in all sorts of environments home and abroad and no other sleep issues. Mid 30's.

I'm a bit reluctant to go to bed...

Neonshock — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:01:11 -0800

I have bad nightmares... The situations vary somewhat but generally they are:
(sexually) violent and gruesome situations where I am going to be murdered/raped in a horrible way
very vivid and 'real'
make me wake up eventually like ...in movies...with a big gasp, sweating, unsettled and needing comfort, tearful, etc.
occuring maybe once every couple months, sometimes nothing for 6 months or more.
not linked to any real life event or worry (although I have suffered sexual attacks in my life, they are very different situations to what happened to me)

So...why is this happening? Theyre very annoying and put me in a very unhappy and nervous mood for the rest of the day. They don't occur enough for me to worry per se but they are upsetting and can bother me for a while after. 99% of the time I have undisturbed sleep and lovely, satisfying dreams of perfect situations. Is my unconcious balancing itself out? Does anyone else get this?

Staggering Insomnia Almost Seems Preferable

EatTheWeak — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 13:41:16 -0800

Please hope me get control of my bad dreams until I can resolve their real-world roots. Hi. Here's the situation - I quit smoking marijuana at the start of the summer and have reduced my boozing to a very low level - like, maybe once every six weeks if there's an occasion that warrants it. As a result of these lifestyle changes, I've regained an awareness of my dreams. The bad news is that these dreams have been, with a single exception, uniformly shitty for the past few weeks. I woke up yelling this morning and have felt crappy all day. I can't take much more of this.

These aren't nightmares, exactly - "anxiety dreams" would probably be more accurate. I'm a fella highly prone to anxiety and depression and this is an especially anxious time for me. I've got two main sources of tension in my life right now - one of which I'll be able to unravel towards the end of next week and another that has to wait until mid-August. Examining the symbolism and the situations that I REM myself into at night seems to trace these dreams back to my real-life tension pretty reliably, so I realize that the permanent cure here is to address this tension in the waking world.

Until I am able to do so, however, I would really like to stop dreading my bed. Being able to sleep through the night was one of my favorite early benefits of sobering up, but these dreams are getting really vivid now. Hell, the one that woke me hollering today had a humiliating plotline. So, what are some reliable, short-term techniques to tamp down these awful dreams during the interval preceding my first opportunities to dial back their real-world causes?

Degrees of Difficulty: In some previous, similar AskMes that I've read, a frequently given piece of advice is to exercise more. In my case, I'm already doing rather a lot of that. The best control I've ever found for my aforementioned anxiety and depression problems is my four formal weekly workouts. If you include my bicycle commutes in your reckoning, then I workout daily at this point. It's also frequently suggested to reduce one's caffeine intake - at the moment, I'm already down to one or two mugs of coffee a day with breakfast. I'm open to eliminating caffeine entirely if you really think that's the best thing to do, but it would mean more sleeping in order to have the energy to manage my life. And at the moment, sleep is where I'm not at all a Viking.

I just want to sleep without seeing dead people in my room

anniek — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:40:37 -0800

Why do I keep having these insane dreams and how can I make them stop? (long) Starting at a young age I started to sleepwalk, but it often included trying to climb on things, yelling, and sometimes attempting to get out of the house. My family dismissed it as something I picked up from my great-grandmother. The sleepwalking then began to incorporate my dreams, and I would remember it - ie in my dream I am in my room with my friends, but they need a ride home so I walk (in reality) into my parent's room and ask them to drive them home, then walk back and go back to bed. Or the dream requires me to spread my blanket on the ground.
In high school, the walking toned down, but was still there, but more monsters, and all of this was set in my room.
In college, lots of dreams about people in my room and going to steal something from me, etc.
Currently, it's a matter of phases. Sometimes there are gross things in my bed that I can "feel" or "see" like snakes, rats, severed heads. Or I can see floating grey matter, that I can control. The classic person in the house/room is also there. As is thinking my boyfriend is somehow conspiring against me, or playing games in my head that if I move the wrong way, I will die.

This all takes place in my room, and I believe it to be real, until I "figure it out" over a few nights, or weeks, and my brain kicks in and says "STOP." Then a night or two of no dreams, and my brain thinks up something else to torment me with.

This always happens shortly after I fall asleep, so right after to an hour or two into it.

Now, I've talked to doctors, nutritionists, holistic healers, gurus, and searched the InterWebs. No, I don't think I'm in connection with the Astral Plane because I can control it so that explanation is moot.

I've tried to eat more before I go to bed so that my blood sugar doesn't drop, no dice. White sage? Nope.

I also found out my grandfather had similar dreams, to the point that they had two beds so that my grandmother wouldn't get attacked at night. As far as I can tell, this is hardwired into my brain.

I'm afraid this will only get worse as I age, so, has anyone else experienced this? Have you fixed it? What else can I try?

Go away, nightmares!

lunit — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:59:34 -0800

Help me get rid of nightmares! I've been having nightmares probably 4-5 nights a week for the last year or so and I'd really like them to go away. The subjects change depending on what's going on in my life, but they're generally marked by someone close to me dying or something violent happening to me or someone I care about. I have them regardless of the setting in which I sleep (I just moved, and I also went on a long trip recently and the nightmares continued). Short of being less anxious, is there anything I can change in my lifestyle to help? Thanks!

Link between 'non-restorative' sleep and nightmares?

dinkyday — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 13:52:37 -0800

For the past twenty years or so (I'm 36 now) I have had trouble sleeping. Not really with falling asleep or staying asleep (even though I have had episodes where that was a problem too) but the big problem is I NEVER feel rested when I wake up in the morning. 'Non-restorative sleep' is the term I found after a bit of Googling. Through the years I have tried to tackle this problem in all sorts of ways but haven't gotten very far. About ten years ago I spent a night at a sleep lab but they couldn't find anything wrong with me. Sadly I have gotten so used to the situation that it is not on my mind a lot but lately I've been thinking about what else I could try. The most obvious reason why I always wake up tired, tense and at least slightly depressed is the dreams I have every night. No matter what I dream about it is always negative. No matter how great or happy I feel before I fall asleep, I always wake up feeling as if something bad has just happened to me. Even though I could describe my dreams as nightmares I do not recognize myself in the symptoms of the so-called 'Nightmare Disorder' (I do not usually have 'repeated awakenings', also my dreams are not superfrightening just kind of depressing and negative). I have tried changing my diet in a million ways (no dairy products, no sugar, no 'food combining' etc.), I have tried sleeping and anti-anxiety pills and exercise to tire me out before sleeping but nothing really worked (even though healthy food and exercise certainly makes me feel better during daytime).

Does anyone recognize him or herself in this? Any thoughts on what else I could try to get a good night's sleep?

Are my memories real? Does it matter if they aren't?

Avenger — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:59:03 -0800

How can I be sure that my childhood actually happened? Before I begin, let me say:

1) No, this is not a joke

and

2) No, despite my wishes to the contrary, I'm not stoned out of my mind.

Basically, I have a number of memories from my childhood that are completely surreal and more or less physically impossible -- which would rationally suggest that I'm remembering dreams -- yet these "memories" are just as real and perfectly vivid as any other memory of my childhood. I'm disturbed by the implications of this.

Example 1: I have a vivid, utterly real "memory", from when I was 6 or 7 I guess, of my dad and I standing together, naked, in a toilet bowl. We weren't shrunk or anything, just sort of standing there, full sized. I know, it's classic Freudian dream material. Yet, it's just as "real" to me as one of my birthday parties from those years.

Example 2: I remember, very distinctly and strongly, of visiting my grandmother's house for a family reunion when I was about 9 or 10. Part of the "ritual" of the family reunion involved everyone (except myself, because I chickened out) walking over a bed of hot, smoldering coals.

Yes, I know it's all completely insane. I asked my grandma about it last year and she agreed that it's insane as well, yet I remember it as well as I remember Christmas from around that time. Perfect clarity.

Example 3: Some kids have "imaginary friends". I had an "imaginary enemy". It was the telephone pole who lived out back. The nodes on top were his eyes, the "V" shape crossbars was his perpetually grinning mouth. The strange part is that I remember him speaking. Like, really remember him speaking. He spoke a terrible monster-language (sounded like "Gonk-gonk-gonk") but I could understand what he was saying. He always wanted to eat me and my family. I remember him threatening my family, as much as I remember my dad talking to me as a child. Its that real to me.

The rational part of my mind (which I like to think is very strong) realizes that these and other "memories" are obviously products of my own mind -- yet I'm unable to distinguish them in any way from "reality", except, perhaps, by their seemingly ludicrous nature.

So, some questions:

Is this normal? Does anyone else have these experiences? Or am I completely insane?

Is there any truth to the idea of "false memories" that could have been implanted by someone else? Or even by myself, unknowingly?

And finally, (on a more philosophical note) If I can't reliably tell the difference between dreams and reality from such a young age, how can I be sure that anything from back then is real? Obviously I can ask others who were supposedly there (like grandma) but if they don't remember, what does it say about my personal integrity that many of my earliest, most formative memories could be fake? Or even mostly fake? Obviously I've given some extreme and very surreal examples, but what can I trust if I can't trust my own memory?

nightmare

protocool — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:44:52 -0800

So, when I fall asleep on my back I almost always have really intense, cold-sweat, dreams that are almost always very stressful and nightmarish. This never happens when I sleep on my side. Why is this?

Books in the vein of Adam Curtis?

Sticherbeast — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 23:21:35 -0800

I've been on a (scary and depressing) kick of the Adam Curtis documentaries (Century of the Self, The Power of Nightmares). What non-fiction books does MeFi recommend in a similar vein? Anything tying in psychoanalysis, propaganda, focus groups, politics, mass manipulation, and whatever else that will make me lose sleep is more than welcome. Bonus points go to books having a similarly ominous, overwhelming, "fact me 'till I fart" sort of feel, if that makes any sense.

How to get rid of bad dreams?

voltairemodern — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 08:41:49 -0800

My partner reports consistently having bad dreams. She would like to be able to either (a) have good dreams instead, or (b) just not remember them anymore. What techniques/practices are there that can help her achieve this? I'm at a loss to help her, because I've never had the problem. (Consider this a re-opening of this question from a couple years ago.)

Details: the dreams are very diverse, and do not seem to fixate on any single aspect of her life. She often wakes up multiple times during any given night. She doesn't wake up screaming, but the dreams are bad enough to cause her anxiety. She is not taking any antidepressant medication that might cause them. She works out at least three times a week. (If you think there are any salient details I've missed, ask in the thread.)

Again, I'm at a loss, so any suggestions would be appreciated.

The Revolution in My Head - Che gives me Nightmares

Deep Dish — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 11:45:00 -0800

So I have been reading this biography of Che Guevera, and I find it gives me nightmares... Why? Now, I have no connection to Latin America, briefly lived in a Communist country (so I am not scared of Reds really), the period I am reading about now was before I was born, and I have a degree in History so I have read this kind of thing a lot - I never felt much personal impact.

There is no real reason for this to scare me, but it does. Any idea why or has anyone else been scared by a historical figure they really have no connection to?

Weird things happen when I sleep

generic230 — Mon, 26 Dec 2005 23:34:24 -0800

Weird things happen when I sleep. I thought this happened to other people too. Then, tonight, when I mentioned it to my mother she said, "No, that's never happened to me." What is it? Is there an explanation? I'm older, middle aged I guess. This started when I was 18 and went away to college. It actually was what started my lifelong insomnia. I would be asleep, but not. I saw people come in my room. In college, it was the cloaked death figure. He would stand at the end of my bed. I was paralyzed. I would try to scream but it could only come out as a whisper. I would fight to move, to wake up, but it was really hard. If I didn't fight this to the point of being awake and sitting up, it would recur all night long. That happened every night in college. Now, it happens much less frequently, (twice in the last week). Usually I am extremely fatigued, having missed a few nights of sleep. I feel I am awake. I feel a presence come into the room. I can never turn my head to see it as I'm paralyzed. My hair stands on end, my neck and arms gets all tingly with fear and I feel it's like, not a good presence. I feel like I have moved, or sat up, only to realize I have imagined it, that I am still half asleep/awake and I fight to waken. Then I have to sit up for a while, get my head in a different place, before I can safely fall asleep without any further sense that someone is around, watching me. I think there should be a scientific explanation for this. I know that the paralysis could very well be that I am still not awake, and whatever the brain does to prevent you from actually doing the things you are dreaming about has taken hold, paralyzing me. But, seriously, someone, I need science here. Even psychology. I don't want to get into the: It's a parallel universe, or you are communing with evil spirits. I already have insomnia! I don't need anything else that will keep me up nights!

Can nightmares be caused by the need to urinate?

jojopizza — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 09:35:08 -0800

Can nightmares be caused by having to use the bathroom? When I'd have nightmares as a child, my mother would tell me that it was caused by having to use the bathroom. This helped me be less afraid in the middle of the night, because I would often notice that yes, I often did have to use the bathroom after I woke up from a nightmare. I was also encouraged to avoid drinking too much water before bedtime.

Now as an adult, I have some pretty freaky nightmares from time to time, and when I wake up I often notice that I have to go to the bathroom. Is there anything to this, or am I just looking for a connection where there is none? Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?

Why haven't I ever had a good dream?

crapulent — Tue, 29 Mar 2005 13:20:55 -0800

In my entire life, I have never had a good dream (that I can remember). What can I do about this? Every morning I awake feeling like I've just endured an extremely intense work out. These nightmares terrify me and are incredibly vivid. It feels like I am dreaming all night long, without ascending and descending through all of the stages of sleep. Is it possible to get too much REM sleep? If so, what causes this? Any sort of suggestion, outside of recommending therapy (done that), would be helpful. P.S. I grind my teeth at night, which might be relevant. And this has been occurring since childhood. Can anyone recommend a decent anxiety medication?

Are there any natural things I can do to have "pleasant dreams" rather than nightmares?

Hands of Manos — Thu, 27 Jan 2005 09:29:21 -0800

For the past few weeks I've had nightmares that involve demons (not the little guys that have red pitchforks and make you do the wrong thing...but very eerie spooky ones). This is freaking me the hell out because I can't sleep and when I do sleep I have nightmares!

So before I go to a counselor to tell me that I'm a looney toon, is there any natural things I can do to have "pleasant dreams?"