Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with nightmare

Depersonalizing media violence

crazycanuck — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:55:07 -0800

Now that I'm a mother, I'm hypersensitive to portrayals of child abuse or child death in movies and books. I just woke up from a nightmare induced by a novel that culminated in the murder of a child. How do I depersonalize violent media depictions of children? It's a terrible feeling to have some book or some movie eat away at me because I've inappropriately projected the situation onto my own daughter and let the book/movie play off irrational parental fears.

Never had a nightmare

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:29 -0800

I've never had a nightmare. Why? Is this normal? I can't fully account for when I was a small child, but in recent memory I cannot remember ever having had a nightmare, or even a truly disturbing dream. I've had exceptionally vivid dreams as well as the usual anxiety dreams of being naked or falling on rare occassions, but never anything close to nightmarish. Amongst my friends and family I can't find anyone else who has never had a nightmare. It feels weird.

Googling "never had a nightmare" shows I am not alone, I just wonder if there might be a cause, or an article or some sort of insight into this. I've had a normal-to-difficult life including problems with depression and anxiety and a fair share of waking problems, I can't think why I might be immune to having nightmares. Is there a cause, or am I just lucky? Any tips for inducing a nightmare? I guess I am coming from a view of nightmares being an accepted part of everyone's life, perhaps they aren't?

FWIW I'm not on any medications or diet, I drink moderately, no drugs, exercise daily, eat healthily. Slept in all sorts of environments home and abroad and no other sleep issues. Mid 30's.

Can my landlord refuse to make repairs?

telegraph — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 08:48:22 -0800

ApartmentNightmareFilter: My new apartment is falling apart and no one will step up. What are my rights here? I just moved into a lovely apartment in a beautiful, historical building in a major city in the Northeast. Unfortunately, over the past x number of years, that beautiful, historical building has fallen into disrepair.

When I saw the apartment and signed my lease a few months ago, it was furnished and being lived in, which masked many of the problems that have now come up. The apartment has not been painted in many, many years -- paint is peeling all over the apartment, and many of the windows are falling apart and rotting. Most of the doors do not close. Almost all of the electrical outlets are still ungrounded (two pronged instead of three). When we moved in, there was a large hole in the ceiling of the bathroom due to water damage -- after much fighting it was patched but it has yet to be repainted. It was not cleaned after the last tenants moved, and I've removed upwards of 50 loose nails and screws from the walls. Our stove does not work, nearly all of the window screens are ripped, and at least three of the window panes are cracked. This is the tip of the iceberg.

We reported these problems to our contact at the property management company that manages our building, who then reported the problems to our landlord, who then (according to the property manager) "came down to our office and threw a fit." We're now being told that my roommates and I are "not a good fit" for the apartment, because the previous tenants never complained.

I don't even know what to do at this point. What are my rights here? I don't think they're going to force us to move out (I feel pretty sure they can't do that...), but it seems like they're saying that we can either put up with it, pay for the repairs ourselves, or get out of Dodge. My roommate is setting up a meeting with the property manager for later today; we really, really don't want to move again. What can we do in this situation? Any advice would be really appreciated.

Microsoft small-business nightmare infrastructure norms?

odinsdream — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:42:40 -0800

Is IT managment in most medium-size businesses (microsoft based, for the most part) normally like managing a cobbled-together series of workarounds on top of workarounds, tied together with bailing twine and gum? If so, is there any workable way to fix this? I'm a contractor working at a business with approximately 150 workstations dispersed over several physical locations in several states. While things have greatly improved since I started here a few years ago, for the most part I constantly feel like I'm only catching up to problems after they occur. There is no formal IT budget, no IT group, no policies (except for my own documentation), etc. I manage everything that blinks or hums, and I report to one individual at the company.

Almost everything I deal with is a workaround implemented years ago. The single thing that I feel is efficient is a new Linux web server and web application that I was solely responsible for. Everything else is a series of taped-together "solutions."

Is it normal for a business of this size to, first of all, be in this position, and second of all, to apparently not care that they are? How can I change this?

Every time I attempt to instigate some kind of reform it's met with hostility due to budgetary concerns (i.e., "We should really audit our OS software and buy XP licenses for any workstations using pirated software. Mr. Smith should be told not to bring pirated copies of Office and install it on the computers."). There are dozens of legacy applications running on hardware for which replacements are only available on eBay. There are business-critical applications running on Windows 98 workstations for which there is no re-install media, no documentation. There is no policy of retiring workstations or upgrading them. Everything is MacGuyver'ed into a semi-functional state.

Some applications are delivered over a Citrix farm but they have no relationship with Citrix vendors and aren't willing to pay for training on Citrix management. As a result managing the farm is mostly a cross-my-fingers kind of thing. To be fair to Citrix, apparently their software is designed to be a nightmare on purpose.

In the central office we have multiple versions of Windows server running various things in a cobbled-together fashion. We're only just now discussing disaster recovery, which I expect to go badly because it's going to cost at least $50k if they want to do it properly.

There is no concept of the recurring costs of software or hardware upgrades. If it's running today, there is no desire to explore whether it should be upgraded. There is, however, an expectation that things should never fail. Ever. All services should always be available. This company actually has very large customers which you've heard of. I don't want to even discuss PCI DSS compliance.

Is this normal for small Microsoft-based businesses? Almost all of the reforms I'd like to implement are seen as painful or undesirable due to the fact there is a non-zero cost both in time and money, or because they would inevitably cause problems (like how we're using a non-private subnet 192.100.100.0/24 internally because nobody knew what the hell they were doing.) or would cause a change in the way people get their work done and send some employees into fits of screaming rage. Ask me how I know!

How do you connect these types of decisions to their end-result: malware infections requiring multiple days to clean up, regular travel expenses to visit remote sites to fix problems that otherwise wouldn't have occurred, old hardware dying and taking down business-critical devices that I didn't even know existed, etc.? This is seen as a normal cost of doing business to them. I find it difficult to quantify such inevitabilities on a monetary scale because of their chaotic nature, but any discussion is immediately rejected as an expense they just can't afford.

A very boring question about renting a car.

cmonkey — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 08:56:29 -0800

I have a valid German drivers license which I have held for less than one year. I also have an expired US drivers license that I drove with for 8 years. How much of a hassle am I going to run into renting a car in the US? I've read that car rental companies require their customers to have a valid drivers license issued more than one year prior. I don't have that, but I do have a valid drivers license and an expired license that shows that I have been driving for more than one year. Is this going to turn into trouble at the rental car desks?

My cat's a nightmare (washing, pooping, moving socks, flicking letterboxes...). Any suggestions?

handee — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:40:51 -0800

I've got a problematic cat. She's a stray. I've had her for 8 years now, and we estimate she was about 4 months old when she decided to join me. There are 4 main problems: the persistent washing (till she bleeds); the crapping on the floor; the moving of socks and other small items around the house; and the general neediness. The vet is out of ideas. I have this naive hope that there will be a solution (ah, your cat has "Needywashingcrappersock syndrome, ms handee"). But I'm running out of patience (and cash). So it is time to Ask Metafilter. Anyone got any ideas? The washing thing has necessitated monthly or bi-montly vet visits for about 5 years. This summer, the vet thought of trying a surgical intervention, and that got infected, which made the whole situation 1000% worse (and means I've spent about 2000 dollars in vets fees this year). We are unclear whether she's better or not - current diagnosis is eosinophilic granuloma, but nobody seems entirely sure how to treat that.

The crapping thing is a real problem. She hasn't gotten used to the new house, and we've been here over a year now. She will crap next to the litter tray, or in the middle of the kitchen. She will stand in the litter tray and crap over the edge. She will, if the tray is entirely empty, maybe get most of the crap in the tray. But rarely all. This is really really getting me down.

The sock thing isn't so much of a problem in that it's easy to deal with, but it's been going on for the whole time we've had her, so we've had a while to adapt. We are now experts at keeping drawers shut and hiding the laundry. But if there is a sock or some knickers lying around, she will move them from room to room or from floor to floor. She's got a special noise (sort of half miaou half grunt) she does when shifting socks so we can tell when she's doing it.

This last one - the neediness - isn't so much of a problem either, but when she's out and she wants in she will sit at the front door flicking the letter box till we let her in. This, as you can imagine, impacts on our sleep. And if you're reading a book, she'll come and headbutt it until she gets attention.

(There's a sense in which this is 4 questions in one - and I would be grateful for answers to any of them - but I can't help but think these things are all linked...)

Apache: Subdomain Management

PuGZ — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:31:08 -0800

Quick Apachefilter Question: I have complete control over my setup. What is the best way to setup Apache to serve files from /home/domain.com/subdomains/of/level/arbitrary/an/ when an.arbitrary.level.of.subdomains.domain.com is requested? I cannot figure this simple one out for the life of me! I'm using Apache 2 and have control over BIND, but I've already setup wildcard domains. Thankyou!

Calling unmanaged DLL functions from C#

PuGZ — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:00:30 -0800

How can I work with an unmanaged C++ API from within C#? I have C++ functions with the following prototypes:

extern "C" __declspec(dllexport) HFSUniStr255 GetFolderList(char *path);

extern "C" __declspec(dllexport) void GetFile(char *path, UInt64* offset, UInt64* length);

The HFSUniStr255 typedef is the following struct:

struct HFSUniStr255 {

    UInt16  length;

    UInt16 unicode[255];

};

Where a UInt16 is an unsigned 16-bit integer. The two functions take a pointer to a char array and the former returns the above struct and the latter writes 64-bit integer values to the locations indicated by the parameter pointers offset and length.

My question is this: how on Earth do I work with these in managed C# code? I'm trying to follow examples like this to no avail. In C# I have defined the following:

        [StructLayout(LayoutKind.Sequential, Pack = 1)]

        public struct HFSUniStr255

        {

            [MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.U2)]

            public UInt16 length;

            [MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.ByValArray, SizeConst=255)]

            public UInt16[] unicode;

        }



        [DllImport("llio2.dll")]

        public static extern void GetFile([MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.LPStr)] char[] path, [MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.U8)] UIntPtr offset, [MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.U8)] UIntPtr length);

        [DllImport("llio2.dll")] 

        [return : MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.Struct)]

        public static extern HFSUniStr255 GetFolderList([MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.LPStr)] char[] path);

Despite this, I get errors telling me that I've tried reading or writing protected memory and that the method's signature is not compatible with the PInvoke type. Any gurus in this area?

How can I forget an extremely disturbing and nightmarish hallucination/dream that I had, or at least stop being afraid of it?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 09:53:38 -0800

How can I forget an extremely disturbing and nightmarish hallucination/dream that I had, or at least stop being afraid of it? I was recently at home seeing my parents. My mother was taking a nap on the living room floor, snoring loudly, and I was reading in a chair nearby. That night, I had a dream that was exactly like this and I had no idea that I was asleep. In the dream, I looked up from my book and saw that my mother's face/head was an eyeless blob covered with noses and weird ridges. She was still snoring and it was like all the nostrils covering her head were inhaling. I woke up in a panic and it took me a while to realize that it had been a dream. It scared me more than anything else I have ever seen, but I'm not sure why except that the idea is pretty psychotic.

It sounds silly, but I still feel really disturbed about it days later and it's bothering me. I wonder if anyone else has tried to get a disturbing but fantastical image out of their head, or how I could do it.

Why do I always, without fail have nightmares if I fall asleep on my back?

infinityjinx — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 08:09:22 -0800

Why do I *always, without fail* have nightmares if I fall asleep on my back? This has been happening for so long that by now I should really know better than to let myself fall asleep on my back, but sometimes it happens anyway. Sometimes they are the "sleep paralysis" kind that I have been able to find info on, but usually they are just very scary nightmares. This happens to my dad as well, and a Google search shows that it happens to at least a few other people. I do tend to get more nightmares when I'm stressed, but even when I'm not, if I fall asleep on my back, I WILL have a nightmare, guaranteed.

WHY?!

How to deal with a nightmare client?

Botunda — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 06:30:36 -0800

How to deal with a nightmare client? I am developing a flash app should not be too big of a deal to develop; A collection of documents that a user can download off of a CD and then use and/or edit. Now, that being said;

The client asks for it to be white, but then again black. The client says that the document we are basing the navigation on are correct, except for the things that are not correct. The client changes documents and architecture and does not tell us about it and then accuses us of using the wrong documents. The client has focused on cosmetic changes while we could've been spending time on getting the code correct. The client makes changes to changes before we've had a chance to make the original changes. The list goes on. Names have been changed without us sitting in a meeting and the client going, "well that's not in there anymore" in an accusatory tone. Like we are trying to put the wrong thing into our work immediately.

Everyone who has worked on this project has either tried to quit (other outside resources) or get transferred to a different job.

How do survive this hell without:
1). Losing my mind
2). Losing my job. Because if you look at the Seven Stages of a Project, we are, or almost about to be into Phase 5: Search for the guilty.

It is not necessary to accept everything as true, one must only accept it as necessary.

Etaoin Shrdlu — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 20:45:51 -0800

T-Mobile has eaten away at my soul. What can I do now, if anything? Long rant inside. On Saturday, I received a telephone call from Bay Area Credit, the collection agency for T-Mobile. I was told that a bill for $60.83 was unpaid since June. This seemed very strange to me, since I have always paid my bills in full and never been late. The collection agent told me the account number for the unpaid bill (which I neglected to write down), and I saw that it differed from my T-Mobile account. I asked the representative about this, and was told that a new account was opened on June 11, and then the line was transferred to my existing account later in the month. (She told me the exact date, but again I did not write it down.) In fact, I had added a telephone to my Family Share plan on June 11th. I didn’t open a new account however. I found my T-Mobile contract, and it is clear that I signed up to an addition line to my existing plan at $9.99 per month. Upon hearing this, the representative said I should speak to a supervisor, but because it was a Saturday, no supervisor was available. She then suggested that I fax in my T-Mobile contract and wait 7-10 business days for an answer.

On Sunday, I called T-Mobile. I wanted to make sure that the collection agent wasn’t some sort of scam, and I wanted to get more information about the delinquent account. The representative looked up my information and saw that I did have two accounts listed, and that one had been sent to the collection agency. I asked him for the account number, explaining that I had neglected to write it down the previous day. He read off the first three numbers, then stopped and told me he needed to put me on hold while he collected some more information. After a few minutes, he came back and told me that because the account was now in the hands of the collection agency, he could not give me any more information. I asked to speak to his supervisor. I asked her the account number and she answered “We do not have that information to give out.” I asked her what address the bills were sent to, and received the same answer. I asked her the total amount of the bill and got the same answer again. I pointed out to her that it was clear that T-Mobile does in fact have the information, since I was just given the first few digits of the account number, and she finally explained that she does have all the information I was requesting, but she was obligated not to tell me anything and that I could only deal with the collection agency directly. She also recommended that I call Bay Area Credit first thing in the morning. If I waited longer, major damage could be done to my credit.

This morning, things started getting very strange. I called back Bay Area Credit, once again explaining this whole mess to the agent. I told her that I thought this might be a case of identity theft, since I clearly never opened another account. She suggested I talk to T-Mobile about my situation. After I told her that T-Mobile wouldn’t talk to me, she said that I should just pay the $60 since T-Mobile had determined that the charge was legitimate. I explained that I was willing to pay if I owed the money, but I wanted to know exactly what I was paying and why I had another account open. When she couldn’t help me further, I asked to speak to her supervisor.

Richard Anthony, the Bay Area Credit supervisor, was on the offensive even before I had a chance to speak. He accused me of screaming at his staff and his clients. (In fact, I was able [barely] to stay calm and polite through this entire ordeal.)When I asked him how the account could have been opened without my permission, he sarcastically asked if I thought he was my personal financial advisor. When I explained that I never received any bills for that account, he accused me of falsifying my address to T-Mobile. When I asked if he could send me a written bill, he said I would probably stop payment on the check I sent. He then told me that I had ten seconds to agree to pay the bill immediately by credit card or he would hang up, cut off my current cell phones and destroy my credit.

Of course I paid. $60 is certainly not worth the damage that would be otherwise be wrought. But I am boiling inside. I have never in my life been treated like this. The tangible loss is minor, but the intangible loss is eating away at my soul. What, if anything can I do now?

Scary Semi-Lucid Dream: What's Going On?

treepour — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 13:58:45 -0800

Recurring, scary sleep/dream phenomenon. What is it? How can I change it? For the last 10-15 years, I've sometimes had a semi-lucid dream which always follows the same pattern. I've never heard of anything quite like it anecdotally or in sleep literature, though it strikes me as something of a cross between a lucid dream and "night terror"/sleep paralysis phenomena. Are there any sleep phenomena experts/enthusiasts out there who might have a clue as what's happening? Or any lucid dreamers who could recommend tips for taking this dream in another, more positive direction?

(Sorry, BTW, for the verbosity of what follows -- just don't want to leave out a significant detail). Here's the pattern:

1) I realize I'm dreaming and think "Oh, cool, I'm finally having one of those lucid dreams! Let's have some fun!" Sometimes, one of the first things I want to do is look into a mirror. I usually appear somewhat differently than I would normally -- e.g., I'm a different age or sometimes even a different gender. This mirror thing usually scares me a bit.

2) The dream environment refuses to remain stable; e.g., I'm walking down a hallway and it starts to turn into a forest.

3) I focus on something (e.g., an object, or even my reflection in the mirror) and try to prevent it from morphing into something else.

4) Object morphs anyway, usually into something increasingly terrifying (i.e., the longer I let it morph, the more scary it becomes -- e.g., a table lamp morphs gradually into a hideous monster). I try to change the dream somehow (e.g., move to another location), but fail. I realize that I could wake up, but I'm determined to keep trying.

5) A strong auditory halluciation occurs -- often an electrical buzzing sound, but it could also be whispers or voices -- sound gets increasingly loud.

6) As sound gets louder and object gets scarier, I feel something tingling/pressure sensations all over my body -- I used to describe it as feeling like hundreds of wings flapping against me, though it sometimes also feels like an electrical current or light muscle spasms.

7) As sound/scary object/physical feeling all get stronger, I start to feel as if some malevolent force is attempting to assualt or "invade" me. At this point I become both genuinely afraid and, strangely, sexually aroused. (To clarify, I don't believe some force actually is trying to invade me, it just feels this way in the dream). I feel so overwhelmed by the sensations that I fear losing myself in them -- i.e., I fear that my "self" will somehow be "erased" in the maelstrom of sensation.

9) I decide to wake up. For the first few moments of waking, I find myself quite disoriented (not sure where I am), and aspects of the dream continue (e.g., the sound continues, or fluttering feeling in my body). Fortunately, reorientation happens quickly -- in a few seconds, I'm fully awake, remember where I am, and the strange sensations are just a memory.

connection between bladder capacity and dreams

Anonymous — Sun, 06 Aug 2006 08:07:01 -0800

I have a very small bladder which typically gets me up 2-3 times a night, which can be quite annoying. I've noticed that on the nights I try to "resist the urge" and just hold it, I usually have extremely bizarre and often very upsetting dreams/nightmares. Could there be a connection? Has anyone else ever experienced something similar?

Help me name/locate these two short 1980s (?) animations.

Aknaton — Sun, 23 Apr 2006 21:42:36 -0800

Help me name/locate two 1980s (?) animated short films. 1. Soviet-esque. A long line of identical gray men are standing side by side on a featureless plain against a dark sky. One man taps the shoulder of the man to his right, who taps the man to his right, passing it down the line for what feels like miles. Cut to the only guy acting different, a nervous fellow at the end of the line and the edge of a cliff. When he's tapped he falls off, and everybody takes a step to the right.

Some more happens, with things shaken up a bit by a colorful man with a clown nose. I won't spoil any more since the above should already be enough to identify the cartoon to those who know it. I saw it as part of a non-Spike and Mike cartoon festival in ~1991.

2. Anime. Wordless, short, (I think) about self-organizing machines in a slightly futuristic urban environment. Really beautifully drawn, no obvious CG. (I don't mean to imply those are mutually exclusive.) I saw it on a French channel sometime in the '90s, and remember that the French title translated as "Nightmare". Presumably that should be enough to find it, but I obviously haven't been looking in the right places.

Screaming nightmares?

callmejay — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 17:57:46 -0800

So I've been waking up from nightmares a few times a month by screaming out loud... It doesn't actually bother me much -- as soon as I'm awake, I'm no longer scared and can usually go right back to sleep. However, my girlfriend would appreciate very much not to be regularly woken by someone screaming. :-)

In the dreams, I'm usually about to be killed by someone (methods vary) and I can't get away. So I scream.

It's only been going on for a few months and I can't think of anything new in my life which could be causing it. Also, I'm not the type of person to worry about getting killed in my waking life. In fact, I haven't been significantly worried about anything lately.

dreams that don't require symbolic analysis, TYVM!

polyglot — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 02:04:15 -0800

Hot Feet => Nightmares!? If my feet get warm at night, I can guarantee that I will get nightmares; really bad ones. They don't involve my feet being hot, but are definitely triggered by it.

It doesn't matter if the rest of me is hot, just the feet though they'll typically notice any overheating first. Hanging them out to freeze while the rest of me cooks results in no nightmares. Usually I'll get them "just right" but occasionally the temperature shifts overnight or someone rearranges the blankets...

Has anyone else observed this or got an explanation? I've tried googling but found only a bunch of homeopathic crap and/or pseudo-scientific help for parents with children who have odd nocturnal behaviour.

Is my employer a dirty rotten scoundrel?

Anonymous — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 03:49:42 -0800

At this very moment I am losing sleep over my work situation. My employer has repeatedly asked me to relocate to the home office. I've been putting this decision off for a few reasons until about a month ago. Then discussions were put on hold a couple weeks ago. I was putting this decision off first because there were things I needed to accomplish/wrap up where I am now. Second because I wanted to see how a few things played out. Third because I didn't/don't want to spend the holidays in a new city with no friends or family.

The discussions were put on hold because we were nearing the completion of a deal which would have made it more sensible to have me in a second remote location because of the work that I do. This deal has essentially fallen through as of Monday afternoon.

At the end of last week I got wind that my employer was planning on laying off 2/3 of our local work force, leaving myself and 3.5 other employees. I don't think it was handled very well, but that's life. It did however make me angry.

The relocation was mentioned briefly, almost in passing on Monday. On Tuesday I got some decent pressure from my boss to discuss relocation details. When I hesitated she asked if I was still interested. We have a fairly open, honest relationship and I calmly told her that this week really wasn't the best time to discuss it as I was still a bit raw from seeing so many of my friends let go. She understood and asked when we should talk about it. I told her next week.

Tonight I found out from a very reputable source that the pressure for me to relocate is coming hard and heavy because the home office has decided that they want to close the local office and let go of the 3.5 other employees within the month. They are, of course, telling us all that we have nothing to worry about, etc. and even talking about finding us new, smaller office space.

It's a good job, with lots of opportunity, but it's a company that I have a love/hate relationship with because of the way this and a few other things are handled. I know that I will not be with this employer for the long haul, but it's certainly been a huge boost to my resume and could continue to be so for another year or two, assuming that I can stomach those years emotionally.

My question is: What now? If I relocate and they close the office as is rumored, I'll feel like they lied to me and of course to the people left behind. Do I pressure my boss to find out if this is the plan. I've previously been trusted with "top secret" information, so it's possible I could get it out of her. It's also possible that this is too sensitive and I'll be unsuccessful. Or do I just start looking for a new job and hope that there is a decent severance and I can find something in the next 30 days?

Other things that I should be thinking about, asking, considering? I've got a four day weekend coming up that I plan to devote to some serious critical thinking and would appreciate all comments, ideas, etc.