Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with night

I need to sleep

kamikazegopher — Sat, 30 Mar 2013 19:25:29 -0800

I keep good sleep hygiene. I have herbal tea and a warm bath/shower an hour before bed. I take 50-75 mg of Benedryl (or equivalent) every night. I'm still only sleeping 3-4 hours a night. I can't take Ambien because it makes me sleepwalk. Ideas?

road safety snafus

ditto75 — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 07:17:59 -0800

I have been driving a lot more these days and have come across rather curious situations on the road, involving pedestrians and abandoned / malfunctioning vehicles. Wondering who would be at fault if something were to happen. All of these situations occurred at night / before dawn, so darkness factors into each scenario. Also, I am in the USA and hence curious as to who American law would claim is responsible.

1) Car with no back lights, ie no brake lights nor no regular lights, on a normal 2-lane road (ie, 2 lanes going in either direction). Speed limit 35 mph, although people often go as fast as 50 mph. If someone were to rear-end such a car, who would be at fault? Rear-ender could claim not to see car before it was too late; rear-endee could claim reckless driving.

2) Pedestrian walking on the side of the road. IIRC said pedestrian is not wearing reflective clothing. There's no sidewalk to be seen, no open lot to the side, not even a shoulder. This is not your normal public road -- it's the spur leading from downtown to the interstate, and this particular section of it is a bridge crossing a busy city road. Speed limit 55 mph, people usually drive upwards of 60 mph. Do pedestrians even belong on such a road? Do they have the right of way, no matter the road? If they are hit, whose fault is it?

3) City 2-lane road with median. Speed limit 35 mph, most drive 50 mph. Vehicle parked -- not stalled -- in the median. Apparently abandoned for the time being, as no person is in sight. Also, no lights are on. Granted, perhaps the vehicle or the driver had a problem / emergency and needed to stop the car in an instant and look for help, but without the lights on nobody would know it is there until too late. So if the car is hit, whose fault is it?

4) Open country road, 2 lanes, semi-rural. Posted speed limit 35 mph, most drive 40-45 mph. No city pole lights in immediate area. Pedestrian crossing the street, not wearing reflective clothing. My impression was that he took a glance at oncoming traffic and thought, "If I hurry up I can make it across." If he is hit, who is at fault?

How to put other night-time pedestrians at ease?

TangoCharlie — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:52:55 -0800

I walk to and from work down residential streets. It's dark, especially in Winter. Evidently I walk faster than most other pedestrians as I'm often passing them, not vice-versa. Is there a way to reassure these other pedestrians that I am not hurrying up behind them to rob/murder/kidnap them? The sidewalks aren't as busy as a main street - there's at least a person or two every other block. If there were loads of people, I wouldn't think twice about it. As it is, the person in front of me and myself are usually the only people on the block. But it'll be one person on this block, then another person a block later. There are enough people that it seems crazy to zig-zag in order to avoid them, but not enough to generate a feeling of crowd safety.
I don't know that everyone I pass is worried about the footsteps approaching them from behind. But hey, sometimes I think the worst about footsteps approaching me from behind. Maybe I'm not the only one.
Is there any way to send a signal that I am perfectly harmless?

(I'm in a major West-Coast Canadian city and am an early-30s white male, more-or-less average build, but if I'm wearing a scarf under my coat and it's dark out you might mistake me for someone who looks tough and you would be wrong.)

Any one know of a one handed book stand?

SoltanG — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:30:44 -0800

So, I would like to start reading some books lying down in my bed at night. The biggest problem I have with it is holding the book properly. I usually hold it in one hand using my fingers to constantly to hold the pages from collapsing or applying pressure to sides of the book to keep it open. It is super annoying as some of you traditional book readers must have faced. I am not sure if this is a problem for e-book readers but I can imagine it to be lot more convenient. So I am looking for a small light weight book stand that is operated with ONE HAND. Please suggest any. Thanks!

Leaving my baby

arcticwoman — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 07:50:49 -0800

I'm leaving my 7 month old baby with his other mom for three days. This will be the first time I'm away from him for longer than a couple of hours, and the first time I won't be able to nurse him. I am really anxious about this. What can I do to help this go as smoothly as possible, and keep me sane? I am currently on maternity leave taking care of my 7 month old son. I've been given an opportunity to take some training in a city a few hours away but I'll have to spend three nights away from home. I've never spent a night away from him before. His other mom (we're both women) is perfectly capable but there are some difficulties.

1. I'm breastfeeding. I can bring a small electric pump with me but will I need to pump during the day at training? At lunch? How do I do this? Three days isn't long enough for him to spontaneously wean, is it? I'm not ready for that.

2. Baby doesn't take a soother, or a bottle (or sippy cup) very well. I'll leave a bunch of expressed milk, but how in the world can she get it in him? Will he learn to take a bottle if he's hungry and it's the only option? He eats purees too, but is too young to get all his nutrition that way.

3. He still wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse. We've tried sending my wife in to soothe him, but all he wants is to nurse. We've tried letting him cry back to sleep (we did cry-it-out very successfully for bedtimes and naptimes) but he just gets hysterical. What can she do to soothe him at night?

I know that this will likely be harder on me than it is on him - his other mom is perfectly competent and loving. I just need some help to make this go as smoothly as possible for baby, mom, and I. I have four more nights before the trip.

Second shift jobs?

ditto75 — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 11:52:57 -0800

What are some jobs / workplaces / industries where people work 2nd shift (afternoon-midnight)? Trying to come up with a master list of jobs / workplaces where people work from afternoon to mid- or late evening, anywhere from say 3 pm to midnight or even 1 am. They don't have to take up the entire time-frame, as long as they fall somewhere around it (maybe a couple hours before / after the 3 pm-midnight frame).

So far on my list I have:

grocery stores
movie theaters
any establishment requiring night security
retail stores
restaurants / food establishments
warehouses (? not sure)
factories / manufacturing
hospitality
hospitals / EMT
nursing homes
fire / police departments
trucking
masseurs (? again, not sure)
babysitters
caregivers
gas stations / convenience stores
tutors
after-school programs
personal trainers (? for clientele who work during the day)
call centers / help lines, or other telephone work

(I realize that a lot of "normal" day jobs last until about 5 pm every day -- I'm looking for work that occurs later than that.)

I realize that this is one of the parts of my day when I am most productive -- and also, I prefer to keep the daytime free so that I can enjoy the sun whenever it's out! -- so looking to see what options might be out there.

Any homey bars in Boston or Cambridge?

FatRabbit — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:48:44 -0800

I'm a recent transplant and need a new local haunt. Does anyone know of any good homey bars in the Boston or Cambridge area? For the past four years I lived in Baltimore, my main hang out was The WindUp Space i really knew the people there and made a lot of friends. I have yet to be able to find a suitable landing pad in Boston or Cambridge. So far I like the Squealing Pig and the Druid. What are your favorite hangouts where you get to know the people around you and possibly also offer some zany events? Extra points for things in Brookline, Fenway, and Longwood or Inman, Central, and Harvard Squares.

I never grew out of fear of the dark.

juniper — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 11:26:46 -0800

I am an adult with fear of the dark, along with other anxiety problems. I hate driving in the dark, even on streets with streetlights (I even hesitate to ride in the car at night) and feel panicky in dark rooms. I sleep with a nightlight, but wish it didn't feel like a necessity, and with fall coming, I dread the long nights ahead. Beyond therapy (which I have tried for my other problems and cannot currently afford) are there any methods of coping with this?

Are women at more risk of violence than men at night?

ninjablob — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 15:07:09 -0800

Are women actually at more risk of violence than men at night? I'm looking for crime statistics and well supported research (such as reports and journal articles) on violence (such as muggings, assault, etc ) and gender. I've managed to find a lot of articles about gender and perceived risk, but not much about how this tallies with actual risk. From the few off-hand comments I have seen in reports it seems like young men are actually at the highest risk of experiencing violence, but they are the people who are encouraged to be most confident walking around at night.

Of course, I'm fairly sure that women are at higher risk of sexual violence, and answers that explore this are fine too. However, my assumption is that the risk of sexual violence from strangers whilst walking around at night is quite low- much more likely to be attacked by a friendly colleague or acquaintance driving a woman home to 'protect' her for instance, and that drinking at a party or going on a date is a more high risk activity than walking alone at night.

For the purposes of this question I'm interested in well-supported, academic style research rather than anecdotes. Research that explores other aspects of this question- such as differences in crime rates between night and day, and the impact of intersectionality on risk is welcome too. I'm based in the UK so research that explores the situation here is particularly interesting to me, but research based in other countries is fine too.

Wow factor needed for one hour, 95 high school grads.

jennstra — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 22:03:35 -0800

Grad Night Party question. 95 high school grads, on our way to the first of two secret venues. We have an hour to kill at a nearby school. We have ice cream, cupcakes, cookies. It will be dark. What do you suggest to make it more fun? This is a no drinking, no drugs, kids on buses, with chaperones event. We have a few 100$ to spend. Oh, it's this Tuesday. Thoughts?

How to act around a one night stand I failed at turning into a fwb and can I still turn this around?

soooo — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:12:51 -0800

Sorry in advance for the length. We are in our 20's and I am 4 years older than him. I just got out a ltr and he has never been in one. We met in school, flirted and emailed almost daily. I was playing it cool and he seemed to be warming up to me but once break came around he cooled off. For a month I found myself chasing him - initiating all contact and eventually he said he wasn't looking for anything serious. That was ok with me! I proposed going to see him and he said he was "game". We slept together and I was pleased... twice (very considerate lover). I think he might've wanted a bj but he didn't specifically ask for one - and I thought I'd save that for the next time. 2 days passed, didn't hear from him so I called and said I wanted to do it again. He gave a plausible excuse and said he'd call. 3 days after he came back (and hadn't called/emailed) I saw him in class - I approached, we chatted and it felt weird but friendly enough. I texted a proposed date activity (hoping we'd end up in bed). No response - so later that evening I texted there were no hard feelings, I hoped we would be friendly if we saw each other and said goodbye (perhaps prematurely?!)

2 wks later I emailed saying it sucked to have to ignore each other (as we'd seen one another & hadn't say anything). I apologized for coming on so strong & possibly scaring him. He apologized for not responding & said he wasn't necessarily freaked out, he just wasn't sure we were looking for the same things & we should be friends. I tried to hint that I wanted to be fwb - in case he was confused about me wanting to be his gf. The next week I texted him to spend the night - he said he was going out with friends but would let me know "for sure" if he ended up in my part of town. Nothing. I emailed few days later telling him to let me know if there was no chance and proposed we get together the next week. Nothing. Emailed one final time telling him I got it and would back off for good. He read that email 5 times in 3 days (for a good amount of time each) but hasn't respond... yet.

My question is how should I act when I see him again in class? I find him so sexy and still want to sleep with him b/c he got me really hot & now I feel really challenged. Should I ignore him? Smile? Be cold? Still try to flirt to get what I really want? Say anything?

Tidbits - I learned from our night together he smokes pot regularly. I think I might've expressed a bit of disapproval so maybe that's what turned him off? He said I was "so judgmental" but at the time I thought he was kidding. He is pretty smart/cool but since I don't smoke or drink and he does often he has no appeal as a bf. I'm pretty sure he was attracted to me (I'm slender, pretty, always dress well, make good money & get mistaken for being 21 all the time). We're equally ambitious/smart so I don't know what gives! What would make a guy pass on nsa sex??! And can I still turn this around with some female game?

How to become a morning lark and maintaining your social appointments

Busoni — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:38:05 -0800

Have any of you with night owl tendencies successfully made the transition into becoming morning larks? How do you deal with the social aspect of that transition? Do you get up at 6 on the weekdays but stay up till 3 on the weekends? Or do you sort of have to give that up?

how to self invite without self inviting

camdan — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:41:25 -0800

I'd like to invite myself to see an old friend, without actually inviting myself. how to do it without looking like an inconsiderate boob? I've recently moved to a different area of the country than where i've spent most of my life, with the purpose of going to grad school. the semester's winding down and i wouldn't mind a break at the end of it. there's a large town about an hour away i wouldn't mind spending the night unwinding after finals are over. via facebook, i know a friend of mine from 5-6 years ago is living there now. we haven't kept in touch, but we were decent friends back when, and i would like to see her. there was no romance or other weird drama between us, nor am i romantically interested now, so that's not a concern.

i've already status updated that in general that i was thinking of going to that town when the semester is over, to which she commented that it's too bad she'll gone over christmas. her comment looks to a bit to me like a non-invite, but it's vague enough that i'm not sure, and the semester's over quite a bit before then (though she'd have no way of knowing). can i probe further without looking rude? i was thinking of setting a date to go down without conferring with her, that way it's non-committal if she can't go out. this really isn't a big issue i know, i'm just not great on social cues (non-inflection on the internet doesn't help), and i'd rather not have it look like i'm trying to force an obligation on someone else.

Light that isn't there

bad grammar — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:35:15 -0800

I'm experiencing strange visual effects on the edge of sleep. Hypnogogic hallucinations or neurological issues? I am seeing showers and smears of red light (very much like red laser-light scatter) in almost complete darkness; it happens when I am nearly asleep or wake from sleep in a dark room (e.g. after first 90 minutes of sleep). I thus have been lying down for a short time. The effect lasts a few minutes and then goes away.

The first few times it happened I thought I was just seeing red illumination from a neighbor's car backing into the driveway (my room overlooks their driveway). The room is not totally dark; there are 2 windows that are not shaded.

I am not noticing any waking visual disturbances, though I am concerned about this because I have retinopathy of prematurity. Because the red light show only happens when I am nearly asleep, I'm afraid my opthalmologist will think that I'm dreaming.

There is another medical issue: I have a persistent nasal/sinus infection and any swelling could be pushing on my eyes.

Why does sleepiness elude me?

iamkimiam — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 04:39:02 -0800

As I head into the darkness of winter in Northern England, I'm starting to notice the same pattern I suffered from last year...sleeping even less than I normally do (4-6 hours instead of 6-7). I'm not even sleepy or remotely tired until 2, 3, sometimes even 4 am, when I force myself to fall asleep. I wake up at 8 or 9 (sometimes earlier). What could be happening here, physiologically or otherwise? If it's related to the lack of sun/light, how does that even work? For the last 15 years or so, I've been both a night person and a morning person. I generally am under a lot of stress, but haven't been as much for the last 6 months. The anxiety I suffered horribly from in my 20s is gone (in my 30s now). I'm a positive, energetic and creative person, pretty much all the time. I exercise regularly, in the morning. I eat breakfast daily, and do not eat gluten. I limit my caffeine and sugar intake as much as possible – only 1 cup of caffeine in the morning, if that. Sugar-free desserts or sugar-free sweeteners...I don't have much of a sweet tooth anyway. I seem to be immune to sleeping aids of all sorts, which just make me wired and give me weird body ache pains like my limbs are filled with shifting sand. I think I should also add that I rarely get sad or depressed and tend to only ever cry over extremely frustrating things, like math or social injustice. Oh, I take multi-vitamins and Vitamin D.

In the past, I've been thrilled to have so much extra time, especially at night when I can explore the internet, learn things, or be creative and have endless me-time. Lately though, it's annoying. I look tired and people comment on it frequently. If I stay over at people's homes or have guests, I'm laying awake for hours just thinking when I could be sleeping (truth is, I enjoy thinking more than I enjoy sleeping...except when I'm crazy tired, which I only very rarely seem to get). Also, when I wake up (usually because I have to pee) I am AWAKE, done sleeping, usually wildly hungry and energetic. The thought of trying to sleep more seems ridiculous and impossible.

I'm wondering if there's a type of mania or that is the up-type, all the time? If so, I've probably had it for as long as I can remember. Is that possible, or what else could be going on here? How do I get back to a socially acceptable routine, with perhaps a lower baseline energy and mood? Especially as my awakeness and energy levels seem to increase with the waning daylight hours. I would LOVE to be the type of person that starts getting sleepy around 10, falls asleep by 11, and wakes up at 6. Can I possibly get there?

I'll be watching my mashed potatoes closely, just in case.

phunniemee — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 09:04:29 -0800

Assuming it wasn't a UFO, what was the weird light shining in my window last night? I recently moved into a new apartment, and my bedroom is oddly shaped. Here's a diagram.

Last night, sometime around 3 or 4am, I woke up and noticed that light was shining in the window and hitting the angled over my bed (indicated by the green area in the diagram). (The light was yellowish, not green, but green shows up better in a picture.) I was watching the wall, not the window.

As I was looking at this light on my wall, it moved down and to the right, still roughly the same size and shape of the window, until it disappeared. This all took about 7 seconds. I went to look out my window to see what it might have been, but I didn't see anything.

Light shining in through a window isn't very exciting. This looked exactly like what it looks like when car headlights shine in through a window, then the car turns, and the light moves, until the car is too far away for light to shine in. No big deal.

But I'm on the third floor. The building I'm in is a whole storey taller than any two houses around me in any direction. When you look out of my (angled) window, you can only baaaarely see the top of a chimney on a house two houses down. So it wasn't a car, and it wasn't the light from anyone's house.

It also wasn't a plane. I live about 10 miles from the airport, and can see every arriving flight that goes by (they all take the same approach), and they're way too far away for plane light to be a factor. Departing flights take off in the other direction.

So: any ideas what this was? Since I can't think of any rational explanation, I'm really curious for yours. My working theory right now is that Ron Weasely stole his dad's car again, but somehow that seems unlikely.

Toronto Girls Night Out?

citystalk — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:17:18 -0800

Downtown Toronto Birthday Fun on a Thursday Night For 2 Ladies? My best friend is going on a business trip to Toronto with a lovely woman whose birthday is on Thursday - my friend wants to take her out for a fun night on the town, any suggestions? They'll be staying at the Hazelton and would like to be able to walk/stumble to and fro, unless cabs are super easy to catch.

Both are married and not wild children, but could use a fun night out with a bit of entertainment if possible!

Zombies vs Zombies

Iteki — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 06:43:45 -0800

Should I get Last Night on Earth or Zombies!!!? Have you tried both? Which should I get and why? I have seen this thread at boardgamegeek and am leaning towards one of these games. Sway me!

Amsterdam on a Sunday, or should I just wait in the airport...

Toekneesan — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 07:09:44 -0800

I'll be in Amsterdam from 8pm until 8am over a Sunday night in October. What should I do? Will any museums be open? Is there a literary section of town? Best place to eat a late dinner?

Feeling like I'm in a WWII movie here...

kuanes — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:49:42 -0800

[AviationFilter]I live in a medium-sized college town in central VA. Starting at about 8:30pm (and continuing as of this post at 9:46pm), we have had two smaller prop planes buzzing our neighborhood. We do live within a half-mile of the airport. These planes are flying at less than 1000 ft. What is the "cut-off" time for this kind of thing? I'm aware that flights can land at our local airport until 11pm or so, but this is seemingly ceaseless circles every 3 to 4 minutes. I normally wouldn't care, but it was low enough and loud enough to wake my 8-year-old son. Is there a "curfew" for this kind of flying?

Blacked out one night stand

aprilc34 — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:39:21 -0800

Feel disgusted and don't know how I can live with myself after drunken one night stand. I'm a single mom who has been so depressed and lonely lately. I have the most beautiful little girl in the world and want more than anything to be a good, stable and happy, healthy mom for her. I have a great job but being away from her so much is so hard. I feel helpless at times because of money issues and because i am so alone, besides her of course.

A couple months ago I decided enough was enough with my self pity. I started running and telling myself it's ok to be single and I can still be a good role model for my daughter by working hard, studying and running. I thought I was feeling better, and then I did something so awful a couple days ago.

I was away for work, and for some reason my coworker told a 24 year old intern that I thought he was hot. I'm 37. She bought him a drink, said it was from me, and asked him to come over to talk to me. I was mortified, but with the urging of other coworkers to just let go and have fun, I went to have another drink with him elsewhere.

The rest of the night is in bits and pieces. I remember him getting me another drink, and then being in his room and then being on his bed with my shirt off, I think. I remember him getting dressed and I was just so upset and felt humiliated. I just have a feeling he said something really awful and mean, probably telling me to get out, but I have absolutely no idea what happened. I went to another coworkers room and just cried to her, but the next day she said I couldn't tell her what happened, and that I didn't look disheveled or anything.

I woke up the next morning feeling more hungover than I ever have, and feeling so disgusted that as a mother I could do something like this. I can usually handle my alcohol well, and something like this hasn't happened to me since college, and even in that instance I could remember more than this time. I can remember parts of the night, but absolutely nothing about the sex or anything else we might have done. Now I am also terrified that his roomate might have been in the room too...what if he took pictures..what if it gets back to my bosses?

I know it's my fault this happened...I just don't know how to live with myself. I can barely look at my daughter, how could I be such a horrible mother? What if this gets out and she has to live with everyone knowing how disgusting her mom is? What can I possibly do to redeem myself?

Night Music.

azarbayejani — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 20:51:17 -0800

Looking for music like these two specific songs sung by Jose Gonzalez. Dark, deep music with acoustic guitars. ("Far Away" and "Rope and Summit")

I play my soccer games at night.

breakfast! — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 19:00:21 -0800

I'm looking for a battery powered, light-up soccer ball for playing at night. Some friends and I like late night activities and thought we'd give night soccer a try. Doing my best on google yielded mostly sold out items, and those that are in stock are often from sketchy looking websites.

Something like this looks great, but I'd like to avoid paying 50 Euro and shipping from Germany if I can.

Has anyone else out there successfully bought something like this before?

I live in Toronto so shipping to Canada is a must.

Thanks!

Safety in Richmond District and GGP

gidja — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 08:36:49 -0800

Visiting San Francisco next week. Would it be safe to walk down 9th Ave (from Lake St.), through the Richmond District, to Golden Gate Park and back, in the early evening and then back around 10:00 after attending the Nightlife event at the Academy of Sciences? Any advice about this event? Is it ridiculously crowded?

Hen Do. Help!

cmarie — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 01:23:49 -0800

Help organising a hen do in London needed! I need to organise a hen do, in London (UK). The slight catch is that it's in two weeks' time and I have no idea what to do. Hoping the hive mind can come to my rescue! Looking for fun things for a group of 8 twentysomething women to do in London to celebrate an upcoming wedding. The basic plan is to do some kind of fun activity in the afternoon before going out for dinner and then drinking.

While any suggestions for restaurants and clubs and cheap central hotels are very welcome, what I really need help for is the activity part. I found a company that do vintage-themed tea parties with manicures and stuff which was a popular idea with the bride, but they're all booked out. So far my other ideas consist of:
- cocktail making/mixology lessons
- er, that's it.

So any suggestions as to what we can do for a few hours as a group (who don't all know each other) in central London would be hugely appreciated.
Provisos:
- nothing involving naked men or other cheesy hen-do things
- we do not want to be empowered by learning to pole-dance
- ideally something where we can go straight out on the town afterwards without needing to change clothing etc
- we're not a particularly sporty/outdoorsy bunch so indoor activities please - preferably things that can be done with a glass of champagne in one hand...

Ideas for general activities we could do are good; suggestions of specific places /providers are GREAT.

Thanks!