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I'm going to be a complete basketcase if I ever have kids

Diskeater — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 15:18:38 -0800

Adopting a kitten into a house that already has a young cat. I have some questions on how to make this process as smooth and painless for all humans and felines involved. In all likelihood, my girlfriend and I are going to be adopting a kitten tomorrow. The kitten is probably 8-12 weeks old and is a male. He was found under a porch with another kitten and (according to the friend that found them) is extremely friendly and seems healthy.

We’ve already set up a vet visit and will be taking the lil guy directly there after we pick him up. We also plan to sequester him in a spare room until we get a clean bill of health.

Sega, our current cat, is about two or three years old. She lived with another cat at my previous apartment but has been queen of the castle since we moved in with my girlfriend about two months ago. She made the transition without any issues but I do think she’s a bit lonely; she’s more needy and anxious than she was before and she will occasionally wander around upstairs and make sorrowful meowing noises until we call to her. We decided to look for an additional cat to keep her company and then this opportunity presented itself. How fortunate!

My question is...what do we do once the new kitten is home?

I imagine he’ll be quite stressed since it’s about an hour from where he is now to our vet and then about 15 minutes from vet to home. Should we bring his carrier in his room, let him out and let him do his thing? Should we try and interact with him or leave him alone for a few hours? We’ll have everything he needs in his room so he won’t have to leave.

I’m also not 100% sure how to best introduce him to Sega. I planned on letting him have free reign of the house once we get the ok from the vet. Before that, I intend to keep a blanket with him and periodically let Sega sniff at it to get used to his scent.

The advice online is all over the place. Some articles recommend isolating the animals for days or weeks and gradually introducing them to each other and some say to just let em go as soon as possible and they’ll sort it out on their own.

Any tips or anecdotes on introducing a kitten to another young cat would be much appreciated. I can’t help but be an anxious cat dad!

Obligatory pic of Sega. I don't have any pics of Potential New Kitten just yet.

This Cat's Never Gonna Leave the Bed, Will He.

amicamentis — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 18:12:02 -0800

New cat is not exploring new home. How do we convince him we are nice people? We brought our new cat Puffy (shelter name) home yesterday at around 11 AM (obligatory photo here). It's going on the second night and this cat is still not budging from inside of the box spring in my bedroom. I understand that this is normal for cats and that some hide for weeks. But, our other cat is sequestered in the basement for now and it would be nice if they could meet before too long. Questions:

- what more can be done to make Puffy feel more comfortable? We've shut the door to the bedroom all day, put food, water, and litter in the room, and left him be. Occasionally I will pet him through the box spring bottom but not often because I don't want to bother him. He doesn't meow or hiss or pace; he just lays there all day. We've sprayed Feliway in the area to help him mellow.

- given that he is a very timid cat, what is the best way to introduce him to our other kitty? Puffy is 9 mos, male, neutered - other cat is ~ 3.5 years, male, neutered.

- at what point should we be concerned if Puffy does not leave the box spring? I heard him using the litterbox last night at around 2 AM and he had clearly used it once yesterday when we weren't around (both little pees). He may have drank some water but it does not look like he touched his food.

- this doesn't mean we're scary people, right? At the adoption place he was very, very loving and sweet towards us. The adoption people had expressed surprise and mentioned that he was usually quite timid and scared around most strangers. Was he just putting on an act with us? Is this a personality trait that will stay with him?

Thanks for any comments and advice - it is very welcome.

New cat is scared and I'm at a loss. What can I do to ease her stress without making her traumatized of me?

royalsong — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 08:02:48 -0800

New cat is scared and I'm at a loss. What can I do to ease her stress without making her traumatized of me? My neighbor's daughter is moving into a new place that doesn't allow animals. She asked us if we would give her 9-month old female cat a home. We love cats. Besides, we have a fat black 6 year old female who's brother died a few years ago and I've been wanting to get her a new sibling.. so we said yes.

Neighbor brought her over yesterday while I wasn't home, but my mother was. This new cat got introduced to my mother without incident (She was able to hold her) and then, as you'd expect introduced to her new sister.

This is not love at first sight (I didn't expect it to be), so I came home to the new cat holed up in our spare bedroom and my old cat unsure about what to do. She kept coming to me to tell me and wants to show me that there's this new cat in this bedroom and what does it mean and I should really come see right now. (She does this with everything, when she's hungry, when her water bowl is low, when her litterbox needs cleaned, etc. She's behaving as she normally does in other words.)

I couldn't find the new cat when I immediately came home, but I figured she found a hiding spot away from the smells of these new people and this new cat. I told myself she'd wander out eventually when she was hungry or braver. So I changed out my black one's litter box, set up her's and put out some food and water for her.. and waited. Couple of hours before bed, I hear this unfamiliar meow come from the spare bedroom and I go to investigate. New kitty is sitting up on the desk. This is perfect time to introduce myself so I step up to her slowly and hold my hand out. She growls low and hisses, but I don't back away.. I just hold my hand out for her to smell.

Couple of minutes go by and she does smell me, but is still growling and hissing. Problem is that we can't keep her in the spare bedroom. Not only can we not monitor her to make sure she doesn't have an accident in there, we can't monitor the interactions with our black cat. She shouldn't have had access to it in the first place, but C'est la vie, she got in. So it's important that we get her out of there.. so I get her cat carrier and put it near her. To my amazement she crawls in. So I start to zip it up and she freaks out and starts growling and meowing loudly. After some fighting I manage to get her zipped up and out of the bedroom.

My mother wants to trim her claws at this point because she's worried that she's going to harm our black cat (Who's declawed). I'm less worried, but acquiesce. The problem is, I'm the claw trimmer person. This cat isn't letting me anywhere near her. She hisses and growls and is clearly unhappy with me. So we take our black cat and seclude her in the laundry room for the night and give the new cat free reign to roam the house.

Fast forward to this morning, where I find her resting atop my mother's bed. We need to trim her nails before we can let our black cat out. So I fling a blanket on her. She has a conniption. Starts growling, meowing, and writhing like I'm committing kittycide. She defecated+urinated in the blanket she was so scared. I get her wrapped up but it's clear we're not going to be able to cut her nails until she calms down. So while my mother holds her in the blanket, I put her box and food into the bathroom and then toss her in there.

tl;dr: New cat is scared of me and scared of our other cat. I'd be more then willing to let her roam the house and let her get use to her new environment, but there's worries she will hurt our other cat.

At this point I don't want to do anything else to this cat that would make her even more scared of me, but my mother is handicapped and unable to chase or bend over to pick her up.. besides she just started hissing and growling at her when she tried to go into the bathroom.

Should I pick up some Feliway at the store? What do I do with it if I do? Should I go sit in the bathroom with her for awhile? I know it's only been a day that we've had her, I'm at a bit of a loss. When we adopted the black cat and her brother, both times it was from a shelter. There was curiosity, not fear. This is the first time I'm helping transition a cat from one home to a brand new one.

Fighting like cats and cats

mesha steele — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:57:39 -0800

Help me introduce a new kitten to my cat. I know, the question is useless without pictures, but I recently adopted a 12 week old female kitten, Lily. In addition, I have a one and a half year old male cat, Boris (both are fixed). I've tried to follow online guides for introducing a new kitten into the household (I've gotten some Feliway, I've been keeping Lily in her own separate room, and showing Boris some extra love), but I'm frustrated. How long does the process usually take? I know I'm asking prematurely, since it's only been a few days in my case, but Boris seems to really hate Lily.

How long should I keep them separated? I've allowed a few face to face meetings, and while Lily seems to want to play with Boris, he pounces on her and starts kicking. He's 10 pounds to her 2 pounds, and I'm afraid he'll tear the stitches from her spay. Should I keep them entirely behind closed doors (I have no access to baby gates that would allow them to see each other but not harm each other)? Lily cries when she's left alone in her room, but whenever I try to go in and see her, Boris tries to slink in with me for another attack.

Also, how do I tell the difference between play fighting and the real thing? Lily seems to be trying to play, but Boris will pounce on her and start biting at her neck and throat while kicking her. She'll kick back and occasionally squeak, but he doesn't make much if any noise, and doesn't relent when she does. Is any degree of fighting between unrelated cats acceptable?

Sorry for all the questions; I've never lived with more than one cat before, and the crying and fighting is stressing me out. Please tell me it will get better, and hopefully soon.

Three cats might be a little too much company

L'Estrange Fruit — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 13:16:55 -0800

I'm usually at the top of the class where cats are concerned, but I'm too emotionally involved and could use some outside opinions. Summary: found a cat, took it in on behalf of the owner - but it turned out to be a different cat. I would normally only take a cat in if I could look after it, and I'm not sure I can commit to the new cat - but how can I not? tl;dr inside. A lost cat/kitten found my balcony and my heart; I fed it but left it outside yesterday and felt like a terrible horrible person for the rest of the day for leaving it crying in the cold (it stayed for an hour and a half crying at the door, so I don't take it as a curious neighborhood cat). Pictures of the cat online led to a call from the owner, so when it came around for breakfast today I took it in. The owner showed up this afternoon and... it's not her cat.
I can't in conscience put the cat back outside; also, (s)he's the sweetest little puddle of love that ever melted into your lap and fell asleep purring with its legs in the air.
But!

1. I have two rescue cats already. They have a delicate dynamic based on mutual affection and jealous competition for my affection. Interestingly, they haven't reacted to Cutie cat with any hostility, just curiosity and some worry. No flat ears, no raised back hair, no open mouth breathing. Cutie, on the other hand, has growled and hissed the two times I've carried him into view of the homeboy cats, and growled some more when he thought they might be near (otherwise he just radiates sleepy love at humans).

2. When I brought my two rescue cats home several years ago I had an existing older cat. He was very stressed by the new cats and died a few months later. This still fills me with guilt and makes me worry for my now older rescue cats if I were to try to add Cutie to the mix.

3. Further complication: I'm way broke. I have a job but it's had trouble paying me this year, and at the moment I have no reliable income and a credit card bill that's growing by leaps and bounds. I can't responsibly take in a cat without taking on the responsibility of medical care.

Cat is almost certainly owned - clean and massively affectionate, wanted to come in, very hungry and hoarse - usually means lost from home. I have ads online, and will put some posters up in the street soon, but I know that most found cats don't get claimed.

I've scheduled a vet checkup for Cutie tomorrow. I can't afford it but I wouldn't mix in a new cat without getting it checked.

I'm feeling guilt on all sides. I took the cat in, and can't throw it back out into the cold. When I carried it in the door I took responsibility for it. But I also have a responsibility to my existing cats, and don't want to make their lives worse by introducing a stranger that might make them unhappy or worse, sick. And I can't afford three cats. But... there he is in my bathroom, full of love and trust.
I don't know what to do without feeling like a bastard to either the new cat or the old cats.

Original Cat meeting New Kitten

Tequila Mockingbird — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 10:36:57 -0800

Cat adjusting to new kitten: what's the next step for us to ensure they learn to get along? We've taken some basic steps already. Nickel is going to turn 4 later this year, and we adopted a 4-month-old kitten last Tuesday to keep her company. (Because he looks like our first cat! Plus, holy crap - he's an adorable hunter-destroyer that turns into a lapcat the moment you pick him up.) I wish we had pictures, and I know I'm committing a crime by not having some.

He's been staying in our office room this whole time, comfortably spoiled with kitten things and blocked off by two baby gates now instead of a closed door. When Nickel doesn't have to acknowledge his presence, she doesn't. Life goes on as usual, and once she runs past his door to our bedroom to cuddle at night, it's like she's the only one in the house. We added a second litterbox for her far away from the kitten that she's been happily using, so no revenge accidents either.

But we'd like them to get used to each other more, and we're not sure what the best next step is. Nickel switches between slight hissing, low growling, and apprehensive staring at the creature, with that occasional chittering thing cats do. She started curiously inching closer to the baby gates, too. But he just wants to play! Pounce! Roll! And this chases her away.

Yesterday we switched them around - let the kitten explore the rest of the apartment for 5 minutes, with Nickel quietly sniffing around his room. That's the extent of our progress. What else should we be trying? Should we be waiting for all signs of hissing/growling to stop before moving further? We don't want to mess up and accidentally undo whatever getting used to each other has happened so far. What sort of timeline do you guys suggest?

Will New Cat ever let Old Cat sleep with us again (or play with him)?

arnicae — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 09:47:33 -0800

We have had an awesome formerly feral FIV+ cat for 3 years. He is increasingly clearly lonely, and two weeks ago, we adopted a new cat. New cat is great, they've both settled in, but new cat seems to be bullying old cat. Is this permanent? Long explanation follows. Synopsis: Our new cat of 2 weeks is bullying our old cat of 3 years. Is this permanent?

Long explanation:

Mr. Arnicae and I have had Old Cat for three years. He is a four year old, male, formerly feral cat. With some hiccups, he has adjusted into our house and has become incredibly dear to us. Which is why we, after long consideration, decided to adopt a second cat to keep him company. We opted to get another FIV+ cat, which meant getting an adult rather than a kitten, mostly because FIV+ cats have a difficult time finding homes. We got a male FIV+ cat of the same age.

Old Cat LOVES other cats. He is indoor only but whenever they wander by he is at the door/window, making happy little chirps and inviting them to play with him. Consequently, he was elated when we brought the cat carrier into our house. He frisked and whisked around our legs and made little chirps and happy excited "Hello!" meows.

We sequestered New Cat in a bedroom for three days, used extra Feliway, patted them both, gave them a few living space switches to smell each other, used towels rubbed with each of them for the other's cat food, and fed them on two sides of the same door. After 6 days, we started letting New Cat out for supervised visits. Both cats were very well behaved- there were no accidents or acting out. There was the expected hissing, but all from New Cat (however, New Cat was otherwise fine with everything else about the integration. The hissing was almost like a Head Sister berating a poorly behaving student). Old Cat was just EXCITED.

The hissing wound down and now the cats are allowed together 24/7. At first, Old Cat was out of his mind with delight. New Cat didn't want him to play with him, so Old Cat just followed New Cat around the house, staying 3' away (closer caused hissing and some batting).

A week later . . . Old Cat is somewhat resigned. He doesn't follow New Cat around the house anymore because New Cat still hisses at him (though NC treats the humans with extreme politeness). New Cat has also changed Old Cat's habits: New Cat has taken Old Cat's position on the bed. When we tried to move Old Cat to a new position on the bed (we have a ginormous bed, plenty of room for two furballs and two humans), New Cat hissed at him and swiped at him until he left and slept on the couch.

They generally exist in peace, but New Cat starts hissing and growling whenever Old Cat a) tries to sit or play with something New Cat has decided is his (which includes ALL FOUR of the scratching boxes in the apartment, our bed, both of the cat beds, both of the cat boxes) and b) whenever Old Cat tries to get closer to him than 3 feet. He will not play with Old Cat. When we try to play with both of them, New Cat will take over and not allow Old Cat to participate, or remonstrate with him if he does (hissing, growling, the occasional batting motion).

Old Cat appears sad and somewhat resigned. The excitement and anticipation is 100% gone, and he is now a little anxious whenever New Cat is in the area.

We like the New Cat, but we adore our Old Cat. He is the best cat in the world and we'd do anything to make him happy. Is this behavior New Cat's dominance asserting itself and will likely be the pattern for the rest of our lives together, or might it just be new home insecurity and might abate after a while? I miss snuggling with Old Cat at night.

Surprise! You have kitties!

girl scientist — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:06:21 -0800

Apparently, a stray cat had a litter of kittens under our deck about a month ago. We discovered it this morning when our deck was all of a sudden full of roly-poly little kitties. They're so cute that the declaration that we were going to remain a 2 cat household was defeated within about 10 minutes. Now we're seeking advice on how to integrate a little kitten with our existing 1.5 year old cats. Our existing indoor-only cats are brother and sister. While they had been abandoned by their mother at birth, and were sickly kittens full of giardia and mites and respiratory infections when we rescued them from their barn, the deck kitties appear healthy and happy, their mother is fiercely protective of them, and seems to be still nursing. For now, we're just letting them live under the deck, where the mom has made a little safe cave, and we've put out kitten food and water for them. We figure, though, that in about 2-3 weeks the kitties will need homes, and that's where we need help.

The two cats we have now are the first ones I've ever had, and so I'm in new territory, here. I just don't know what's the best way to introduce our cats to their new buddy. Does the fact that they're a pair make it easier or harder to introduce a newcomer to their lives? They've never been around other cats before, and I am not entirely sure they even recognize the little guys outside being the same as them. What's the best way to acclimate the new guy to his new inside life? We figure we'll take it to the vet before we bring it into the house, although our cats are all current on their immunizations and flea/worm/etc medicine. We're also trying to find good homes for the other kittens*, and we're planning on trapping and spaying the mother before letting her roam again.

And, as there's no point to a kitty thread without pictures, I give you kitties! kitties eating! kitties looking befuddled!

* anyone who lives nearby want a little kitty?

Here a cat, there a cat.

carmicha — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:52:02 -0800

What happens when two cats spend weekends together and weekdays apart? Our cat, Rupert, filled the position of Office Cat ever since we picked him up from the shelter. He commuted between our home and our office for fifteen months, spending Monday through Friday at our office; he was happy. When my husband retired a few months ago, Rupert retired too. He's about 2 now and lives at home full time. I miss having an office cat but I'm not sure getting another one is a good idea given my circumstances. How does it work when one cat regularly visits another's home but isn't a permanent resident? My company is an easy-going place and we all miss having Rupert around; our work allowed plenty of opportunity to interact with him. There are people at the office from about 8:00 am to about 6:30 pm every day.

I've identified a new candidate for Rupert's job, a ten month old female named Meeko, who everyone has met and liked. However, I'm don't want to adopt Meeko if it would be unfair to either her or Rupert and I could use your perspective.

Meeko would also be an office cat. On weekends, she would either come home with me or, I suppose, she could stay at the office and I would check in on her (the office is only ten minutes from home). For what it's worth, Meeko has a cagemate at the shelter but Rupert did not. She was feral but is now friendly, playful and affectionate.

For a variety of reasons, none of the other employees can be the office cat's "owner of record," although I know they'll help out with Meeko as they did with Rupert. Honesty compels me to mention that I'm somewhat jealous; Rupert and my husband have become inseparable and I also miss being a cat's primary person.

Do you have any experience with regularly bringing the same cat to visit another cat? Does the usual advice about adding a second cat to a household apply? Are there other tactics that might work better? Do you think this is a bad idea and I should just get over not having an office cat anymore?

Help stop us from scaring our cat ....

ndaguiar — Wed, 24 May 2006 02:54:40 -0800

My wife and I recently adopted a rescue cat, he is a 1 year old moggy male. But after a month or so he still won't let either my wife or myself come near him. We already had a female 4 year old black cat in the house and she get on with our new cat well, and still affectionate with us and regularly comes to us for a stroke. But if we go near, or sometimes even look at the new cat, he will run and hide.

A couple of times we have caught him and stroked him, which he loved and stayed for a while and purrs. But it is still very difficult to get close enough to him to pick him up and even harder to get close enough to stroke.

We have tried treats and food, which he eats but doesn't stay near us; we tried playing with him with toys and again he will play but not stay close; and we have tried leaving him to it and seeing if he comes forward, but that doesn't work.

We were told that he was given up to the dog warden because his owners didn't want him any more. At the shelter where we got him from he was affectionate and on the first night he was affectionate also. But since then just looking at him or walking in the same room makes him go under something and hide.

We do partially want to stroke him and get him more comfortable because he does seem affectionate when we get close enough. But our biggest worry is that getting him to the vets to get vaccinated and microchipped, at the moment we cannot pick him up as he is too scared.

Oh yeah, both cats are indoor cats.

Advice and help please.