Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with newborn

How can I get my newborn to stay asleep?

Kitty Stardust — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:23:17 -0800

We're using all the advice from the Happiest Baby on the Block to get Little Stardust to fall asleep. It works the majority of the time and I can successfully get him to fall asleep by swaddling, rocking, white noise, etcetera. The problem is that he'll only stay asleep as long as I'm holding him. The minute I set him down in his co-sleeper, he wakes and starts crying. He will sleep for long stretches if, for example, I'm wearing him in the Moby wrap or if he can just lie in my lap, but for some reason the co-sleeper is a total dealbreaker for him. I should mention he's three weeks old, he's fed breastmilk through a bottle (he has latching troubles), and otherwise he seems healthy and happy. I'd like to be able to put him down sometimes to, you know, eat, shower or use the bathroom. Or even fall asleep for a few minutes myself. I'm pumping all his milk so unless I can set him down for 20 minutes at a stretch, I can't even do that. I should also mention that we don't have family support and I'm mostly alone with this baby all day except for a few hours in the evening when I can hand him over to his father and sleep. The co-sleeper we use is an Arm's Reach mini, which I've raised to the level of our bed so we can see each other when I'm in bed too. We have ordered a bouncy seat that vibrates. It should be here next week.

He will sometimes reluctantly sleep in the co-sleeper, but he tends to thrash, wiggle, grunt and cry out in his sleep as long as he's in there. If I lift him into the bed with me, he'll sleep quietly, but then I can't sleep because I'm too worried about him rolling over or getting smothered. I can't bring him back to bed after late night feedings because the noises he makes will keep everyone awake, so I've just been staying up from 2am on and letting him sleep in my lap. This is brutally exhausting and frustrating all around.

Please hope me? Is there some baby hack that might help convince him to sleep in the co-sleeper? Is there something I can do to train him to be able to sleep without touching me?

Earplugs/muffs to block out a crying baby

fiercecupcake — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 12:56:03 -0800

In the next two weeks, there will be a new addition to our household -- a baby. (Not mine.) And since it's not mine, I would prefer not to hear it. There are lots of AskMes about earplugs, but many (like the ETY ones) use as a selling point that they don't muffle speech. I want to muffle everything. Best ear protection for the job, <$30?

Babywearing a big baby?

gakiko — Thu, 30 May 2013 02:30:29 -0800

How can I carry my 7 week old who is too big for a sling but too small/young to be carried in a standard upright carrier? I have a pouch sling, a Moby wrap and a Chicco carrier. Our pediatrician recommended "cradle carry" positions, because it seems we've been carrying him in an upright position too much (my hands below his butt, his head resting on my shoulder) and his spine was compressed, so he's now arching his back when he should be curving forward, or so the doc says. The kid loves the upright position and is less than thrilled with anything else. He doesn't have good neck/head control yet. He is quite long and doesn't like the fetal position.

I tried putting him in the sling, but he looks uncomfortable and all squished up (plus I can hear him breathing hard). The doc said the Chicco is out of the question because of the pressure it puts on the butt and spine. The doc didn't like the idea of the Moby, but I'm not sure he's seen one in action.

So, the questions:
- Which positions and carriers would be appropriate?
- Is the doc overreacting or is this serious?

All my Googling only gave me babywearing websites where wraps are hailed as the best thing ever, so I don't know if our doc isn't up to date with current trends or if wrap makers are investing heavily in PR.

Why yes, I'm a first-time parent, how did you guess?

Bonus baby question: how to avoid overnight pee/poop diaper leakage whenever I dress him in his cutest clothes dammit

Looking for tips on nanny hiring from those in the know.

treehorn+bunny — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 20:01:51 -0800

I need to hire a nanny. I've got over 30 applicants to an ad on one of the big caregiver websites, and I'm working on setting up interviews with a couple of the applicants. I need your help so I don't screw up and hire someone I'm going to regret for a really important job. We need a nanny for my newborn daughter. She will be 4 months old when the nanny will need to start. My husband and I both work very demanding jobs, including overnights, weekends, and holidays. Our schedules vary considerably. We get the schedules several months in advance so we will know our day to day needs, but we may also have last minute needs like getting called in to cover a colleague or take care of an emergency situation. This makes our potential need more difficult to cover than other families', and I expect to pay more because of it. We also have two cats and we'd probably ask the nanny to help a bit with the cats, light housework, and possibly little chores like groceries or mailing packages or whatnot.

I am worried about my plans to interview these applicants because I tend to assume the best of people and be overly forgiving of flaws in job interviews (an issue I've noticed in prior HR situations), and thus I can end up hiring someone who may not be the ultimately best fit. Questions:

- How much do I offer to pay the nanny and how do I work the payment? I am planning to pay over the table. Most of the nannies have "desired pay" listed in their profiles of either $10-$15/hr or $15-$20 per hour. So I tried multiplying $15/hr by 40 hours a week and I listed a range around that as the 'potential pay' for this job. But in a given week we may not need 40 hours of coverage. If my work hours do not overlap much with my husband's, perhaps we'd only need 10 hours or something. But we also will not necessarily know when we are coming home. I might expect to be home at 5pm and end up getting stuck at work til 7pm due to some crazy thing happening. I want to pay well to cover this unpredictability and also night/weekend/holiday availability. Do I offer an hourly differential for nights/weekends/holidays? Do I agree to X amount base pay per week plus X amount more per hour if we go overtime? Do I need a contract for them to sign?

- My husband wants to be able to hide our "cat cam" around the house to watch the nanny. He thinks we should have them sign a waiver saying we might record them using a hidden camera, so that even if we didn't end up doing this, they would think we might and be scared into behaving well. I think this might seem creepy and scare away our nanny-potentials. Thoughts?

- How do I ensure that I don't just think "oh, she's nice" and end up hiring someone who isn't the best fit? What are the hard questions to ask or the secret ways to determine if someone's good as a nanny? Normally I'd imagine I would watch her play with the kid, but my kid is a newborn and she really doesn't *do* much. I could probably easily get her to fuss and then hand her to the applicant to see what they would do, but that seems cruel and unusual.

Any other pro-tips are welcome. The site we're using has a background check and driver's license check function that we plan on using, and of course we will talk to the references.

Non-fiction books about relationships between father and a new child

evadery — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:57:52 -0800

I'm going to be a proud first-time papa in a couple months, and I'm gearing up for the madness and joy to come. I've really enjoyed reading non-fiction anecdotes about fathers and children, and I was wondering if you had any books you might recommend? Hopefully nothing 'Chicken Soup for the ____'-ish, but more along the New Yorker-y lines of Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik and Home Game by Michael Lewis. If it impacts your suggestions, we're expecting a boy, however, books about raising either gender are OK. And mom and children books would be OK if you think I could relate to the situation as a parent, but father/child books are preferred. Thanks!

(PS - have seen this MeFi link already, but am looking more for non-fiction, and more about the raising of a young child, not the raising of a child into adulthood.)

How do I protect my newborn from getting sick

crawfishpopsicle — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 02:48:15 -0800

I have a 4 day old baby and my 2 year old just came down with a fever (101.5 at the moment). We don't have anyone who can take the toddler for a couple of days, but I am afraid the baby or my wife might get sick. I am really worried. What should I do?

Lets not just stand around my baby crying

Maarika — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:33:50 -0800

My 1.5 week old baby was born a month early and is being treated for an extremely rare, incurable genetic disorder discovered last weekend via newborn screening. I haven't told anyone beyond my parents, and in the meantime everyone keeps offering to help with/visit the baby. What should I do with them? I can't bear to have the same horrible conversation over and over. My husband and I are scared and devastated, and there are more questions than answers about the baby's future at this point. I can't talk to kind medical professionals about how things are going without crying, let alone family and friends. My parents keep asking for updates that I don't have and want to come over all the time. All the normal "ask people to bring over food and/or clean" newborn advice runs counter to my gut reaction of just wanting peace and quiet at home in-between the constant doctors appointments, surprise hospital trips, and sleep-deprived cluster feeding. Plus, having a medically-fragile infant around people during flu season is terrifying (especially when any fever or vomiting for the rest of my son's life now equals an instant trip to the ER).

I know we shouldn't try to go at it alone, but that seems like the easier path right now. What can we do? How do I take people up on their offers of help when I really want them to back off? How did you deal with family/friends and a medically-fragile baby?

What Do You Give New Parents?

Anonymous — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 11:43:38 -0800

Parents of Metafilter: What the best gift you can give new parents? Everyone has suggestions for the baby but what about the parents? What are the things you wished you had/realized you couldn't live without when dealing with your first kid? How could someone have made your life easier despite being on the other side of the planet? Young professional couple, interested in doing swanky cultural things and fine dining. Areligious and left-leaning if that matters. In the US, I am not. Sadly I can't just give them the name of a great babysitter which I imagine is the actual answer.

Unvaccinated children in the pediatricians office.

Circumstands — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 10:56:56 -0800

I'm expecting my first child next week and have chosen his pediatrician, but the doctor takes unvaccinated patients. How dangerous would it be to bring an unvaccinated newborn into this office?

Baby tips for car-free biking couple in Washington DC?

tkbarbarian — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 16:00:46 -0800

We're Brits in Washington DC about to have our first baby! We have bicycles but don't own a car (use Zipcar / taxis). All the standard baby-prep advice seems to assume owning a car... so do you guys have any tips for car-free baby living? In particular: car seats (for occasional use / quick installation), diaper services and bike trailers? Details inside! Key questions:

1) My hospital requires me to have a "rear facing infant car seat" installed in "my car" to bring my kid home. I don't own a car but will likely take a taxi home - which car seats / legal baby-transport means do you folks recommend? All the ones I've seen are heavy, and have giant bases that are intended to be left in the car.

In general, what's the "correct" way to take a taxi with a newborn baby?

2) I'd like to get a bike trailer / stroller combo - something like a Burley D'Lite with the jogger wheel at the front. I'm told you can install an infant carseat into one of these (like a Chicco Keyfit 30) - is this a good idea? Any tips on this too?

3) Recommended diaper services for newborns? We'd like to use cloth / washable diapers but I don't have any recommendations for companies serving the Dupont circle area.

Thanks!

There is more to do after pregnancy?

MayNicholas — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 04:54:17 -0800

Expecting our first baby in about 2 months now. I have been so consumed with reading up on this pregnancy & labor that I have neglected to learn about what to do AFTER that. You know, when the little homunculus is actually out of my belly and chilling in our living room. Please share your best book recommendations for newborns. Humorous and serious alike. Telling me not to read and let instincts take over is also acceptable with anecdotes.

To co-sleep or not to co-sleep, that is the question

forza — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 16:58:32 -0800

Please describe your co-sleeping experiences I have a just-turned-4-week old son and we're still trying to figure out this sleeping thing. When he was born all of the midwives and doctors strongly encouraged us against co-sleeping, saying it increased the chance of SIDS. This converged nicely with our goal of doing what we could to train him to be a good self-soother and sleep through the night as early as reasonably possible. He was a reasonably good sleeper at the beginning and we've been putting him in a crib since then.

Problem is, as he's gotten older it's been increasingly difficult to get him to go down and stay down, particularly after the middle of the night feeds (he is exclusively breastfed, if it matters). What once involved just getting him to drowsiness on me and plopping him in the crib now involves nearly an hour of standing near the crib, reassuring him that I'm there, swaddling him within an inch of his life, etc, etc. This has led to much less sleep for me, and frustration for all of us.

A few days ago he got a cold and was much more fussy than normal, so that none of the normal tricks worked. After a hideous day or two I finally said "To hell with it" and took him to bed with me at night (I am currently sleeping on a mattress in his room). It was really lovely -- what I have instinctually been wanting to do for a while, and clearly set well with him because he immediately slept through and aside from a few very easy midnight nursings, both of us got better sleep than we've had for a month. We co-slept last night too, with similar great results.

So now I'm strongly considering just going with co-sleeping. But my partner and I have some questions and concerns, and googling doesn't help much. All I find is fairly strong dogmatic rhetoric on either side of the equation. What would really be helpful is just hearing about people's actual experiences or getting some actual numbers. Specifically:

1. What is the actual SIDS risk either way? Especially if you take the recommended precautions (e.g., firm mattress, no duvet, don't get drunk, etc). I can find stuff about the precautions but no actual numbers about the SIDS risk either when they are taken, or when they aren't, or how it compares to crib sleeping.

1a. People who have co-slept, if you took any non-standard precautions that you think helped, what were they? If you didn't bother with some of them and it was fine, what were they?

2. Our biggest worry with co-sleeping, aside from SIDS, is that we'll end up with a kid who can't sleep unless one of us is there sleeping with him. In an ideal world I'd co-sleep with him till he's 3 to 6 months, but at the point where he can sleep through the night without nursing, it would be great if that sleeping occurred in his crib and I could go back to the bed I share with my partner. Is this at all realistic? Most of the co-sleepers I've heard about go until the kid is 1 or 2 years old which is a lot later than we would like. If you succeeded in accomplishing our goal, please let us know how! If you tried and failed to accomplish this, that is useful information too (as well as why you think it failed).

2a. Relatedly, we would like him to still be able to go down for naps without us laying down with him. I've already noticed that he's harder to get to stay down since I've started co-sleeping (we get him to sleep on one of us and then try to put him down by himself, but usually he wakes up again at that point). But it's hard to know what to make of a few days. Still, it's worrisome. Did you find that co-sleeping night affected napping during the day? Any tricks to prevent this difficulty?

3. Are we massively over thinking this and it doesn't really matter what you do at 4 weeks?

Mostly, I'm just looking for people's actual experiences, both good and bad, with co-sleeping. I am not interested in a debate about the abstract merits of either. I just want to have a sense of what we'd be getting into if we decided to co-sleep. Thanks!

What was on your baby registry that you use and what was on it that you don't use?

davebug — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:32:13 -0800

I'm building a baby registry. a) What was your absolute most-used, wouldn't-survive-without-it thing you had on your baby registry? b) And what were you absolutely certain you'd use all the time that just gathered dust? I've heard most people say "changing table," for b, so feel free to give me your second one if that was #1.

What was surprisingly easy/hard about having a kid?

davebug — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 10:18:58 -0800

A 2-parter for parents (from a soon-to-be): 1) What did you think was going to be easy, but turned out to be hard? 2) What did you think was going to be hard, but turned out to be easy? I'm interested in the answer at all levels: tactical, emotional, immediate, long-term. Basically, I'd love to get an early warning about where I'm likely wrong about how things are going to go, for better and worse.

What tech is out there for babies and their geek parents?

davebug — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:48:36 -0800

I'm a gadget geek about to have my first baby. What tech do I now have an excuse to get that might help make things easier or even more fun? I've been eyeing the WiThings baby monitor since before the pregnancy, but lately it seems to get so-so reviews compared to the Motorola MBP36. I'm tempted by the MamaRoo baby mover thingamajig. Anything else?

Newborn insurance?

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:58:49 -0800

Is there an insurance option for this snowflake situation? What are our insurance options for a newborn baby in NYC?

We're both under 26, and are insured under our parents' respective plans. This has been fantastic, because at a combined income of $51k, spending the $15k we're seeing as estimates would be a whole lot.

But now I'm pregnant.
The new under-26 coverage does not extend to grandchildren. There doesn't appear to be any option for a child-only plan anywhere. At over $47000ish, we seem to have gone beyond any government program for help.

We're going to talk to an insurance agent to further explore our options, but would love any extra advice, mainly about how pregnancy matters in terms of switching plans (from a dependent to an individual plan), etc.

One thing that we considered is my husband getting an adult+child plan to cover the baby, and me staying on my parents'. Thoughts?

There does appear to be Child Health Plus, which will only cost us $30/month, but we can't find anything about its coverage for newborns, and that's going to be a concern immediately.

Gassy baby is gassy

bq — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 22:34:23 -0800

Please give me your best tips to burp a six week old, or otherwise soothe a gassy infant. Baby is six weeks old. He is in a co-sleeper attached to our bed. Breastfeeding and sleeping are going well except that at night - around 3 am or so usually - he starts grunting and straining loudly, which keeps us awake. He's not crying and is usually actually asleep while he makes these noises. Sometimes the straining will result in a loud fart or poop, but he just keeps on with the grunting. I've tried burping him after feelings, but it's hard to get a good burp out of him. I've tried bicycle legs during the grunting sessions but that doesn't seem to produce anything or make him more comfortable.

I don't think it's reflux as he rarely spits up. My supply is fine and I don't think we have an oversupply problem or an over active letdown.

What are your burping best practices or other suggestions? Besides earplugs?

Was having a baby a mistake?

elizamina — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 21:04:41 -0800

I am the mother of a beautiful, 5 week old baby girl. I wonder if I've made the biggest mistake of my life. I spend nearly every day crying. Horrible crying where I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like I'm dying. I saw a therapist and I will visit again next week for a medication appointment. I'm pretty sure I have postpartum depression, and yet, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm terrified that my marriage will end, that my life is over, that having a baby was a huge mistake. How can this get better? How will it get better?

I've been with my husband for ten years. I wanted this baby desperately. For years, he said he wasn't ready and then he agreed to try to conceive. We conceived almost immediately. We fought about it terribly for the first trimester and then things seemed to get better. We seemed to be happy until the baby was born. Now I'm shocked, disappointed, and even angry that I feel this way. I don't want to resent my baby. I don't want my baby to be a mistake. I'm terrified my marriage will end, even though my husband says it won't. I'm terrified he'll resent the baby, resent the changes to our lives, even though he says he's adjusting. And I'm terrified I'll never be happy again. I feel like I can't breathe. I'm so scared all the time. Will I ever feel better? Will this ever get better?

Looking for a family doctor/pediatrician for newborn in downtown Toronto.

foxjacket — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 07:55:26 -0800

Looking for a family doctor/pediatrician for newborn in downtown Toronto. My daughter is 3 weeks old and I'm looking for a family doctor/pediatrician in downtown Toronto. Anyone know of any good doctors accepting newborn patients?

What I've tried so far:
-My doctor who saw me during pregnancy recommended me two names, they're not accepting new patients. She also won't take on my daughter as a patient.
-Found a very old list of GTA pediatricians online; none of the peds in the downtown area are accepting new patients.
-Tried calling Sick Kids to ask if they knew of pediatricians accepting new patients; they don't have that info. (???)
-General googling and calling names that come up, no luck.
-Yellowpages.ca is useless.
-So is using the doctor finder at cpso.on.ca

My partner would prefer to see someone that's nearby (no further north than Davisville) and where parking isn't impossible, so the doctor that I found at Yonge and Eglinton is out, and my family doctor (at Yonge and Richmond, where parking would be a challenge) is out. My partner doesn't think his GP would be good for our baby either.

Thanks for your help.

You're a teenager with a newborn. How can a stranger help you?

Felicity Rilke — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 13:35:51 -0800

What does a 16-year-old mom need for her baby and herself? A friend of mine has a 16-year-old client who just gave birth a week ago. Her story isn't mine to tell, but the situation is terrible and she has little to no family support and that is unlikely to change. My friend put a call out for a stroller because the mom can't afford one and is having trouble getting around without. That put me in action.

I'm trying to help with the stroller situation and pull together a baby basket. I want to include things you might need for a baby but wouldn't think of (particularly if you are 16). So far I've managed to get an Ergo and a couple slings donated. I've picked up a month's worth of diapers, gripe water, Vaseline, Penaten cream, a baby health kit (thermometer, nasal syringe, nail clippers, etc.), a couple onesies, and a Sophie and a bunny because every baby should have something to chew on and something to snuggle.

What am I missing? I think mama is formula-feeding, so I'll get some of that once I know what she uses. But what other practical or frivolous-but-super-helpful things should I try to include?

Also, what do 16-year-old girls like? I know that is a generalization, but I'm trying to think of an appropriate gift for a teenaged girl who is probably really scared and overwhelmed right now. Something totally unrelated to baby. I just have no idea what that should be. Keep in mind, I don't know this girl, I've never met her, so I don't know which way her tastes run.

My baby is safe but keeps giving me nightmares.

CrazyLemonade — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:52:56 -0800

Every night I dream my newborn baby is in bed with me and is in danger of being crushed or suffocated in the blankets. How do I stop these awful dreams? I have a 6 week old baby. From the first night home from the hospital I've been dreaming about having my baby in my bed, and I can't find him among the blankets and pillows and I wake up freaked out and sweating, or freaked out and poking some random body part of my husband next to me that I "thought" was the baby. One time I even dreamed I found the baby in my bed and thought about putting him back in his crib but I wondered about how to do it without waking the baby already in the crib (yep, there were two of my baby in the dream).

I never bring baby into bed with me at night (he sleeps a step away from my bed on a portable crib), so when fully conscious I know that my dream is just a nightmare and not really a possibility, but I hate that this has been haunting me EVERY NIGHT for the last 6 weeks.

How do I get rid of these dreams so I can have a good night's sleep?

What do you want out of a newborn class?

linettasky — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 14:47:38 -0800

A friend and I are putting together the curriculum for a "After the birth: the first six weeks with your newborn" class we're going to start teaching in a few months. We've got a bunch of ideas, but we want to make sure we're covering everything. We'd love your input. I'm a labor & postpartum doula; she's a paramedic raised by a midwife who's going into midwifery. I have a fourteen-month-old; she has an eight-week-old. Our aim is to teach a class that helps with that feeling of, "Oh, crap, what did we do?" that happens when you bring the baby from the hospital or the midwives leave. Our shared parenting philosophy is: Do what works for you. If it's not working, try something else.

We already know a good chunk of what we want to talk about in this class, including:
- sleep
- feeding (including breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, pumping)
- relationship changes (both with partner and with other family/friends)
- postpartum depression & baby blues
- babywearing/car seats/strollers
- going back to work
- maternal physical changes
- food for the parents (how do I make sure I eat?)
- swaddling, diapers, baths, general newborn care
- info for partners -- what it's like to be the non-lactating partner; how to deal with their emotional stuff
- various resources for dealing with the things that come up during that time

What are we missing? What would you have wanted out of a class like this?

Kittens, kittens, part 2.

Trexsock — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 06:07:09 -0800

In need of young kitten help and advice please! As some might remember (or notice), I posted about a month ago regarding the sudden, unexpected pregnancy of my young female cat and the nearby veterinary not having recommended a emergency spay. After reading all of the comments, I did wind up taking her to another clinic, looking for a second opinion, but things didn't go swimmingly (both me and the cat seemed to hate it there) and well she had her kittens about a week ago.

Birth went well, without any complications for the mother and there are now five newborn fluff balls inhabiting my house. From what I can tell, the kittens were born at a nice size/weight, and seem to be doing decently (at least they survived their most trying first week).

I am, however, going sick with worry over them:

- Although at the time I didn't catch it, a few days before birth, the mother started showing signs of being sick. Sneezing, slightly watery eyes and infrequent/rare coughing were the symptoms (I say were, because she has recovered and is now almost a hundred percent well again). Immediately, I rushed to the vet, only to be told it was most likely something viral and, as long as she didn't seem to be getting worse, to not worry about as it would go away on its own. She was not given medicine/antibiotics. The issue now is, that the kittens (at least a couple of them, not all) are showing the same symptoms their mother was: sneezing and congested nose mostly, since their eyes are still closed. Now, I trust the vet and am glad for their advice, but I am seriously questioning whether I should rush the littler to somewhere else? (Just for the record, the kittens seem to be gaining weight and getting bigger, in general).

- The mother cat seems to be full of milk, and the little things don't seem to have trouble nursing from her, however, there's a white, yellow crust that seems to have settle on the skin around her nipples, leaving me wondering what the heck it is? (Google doesn't seem to be much help here).

- Whereas the kittens looked like they were nursing 24/7 during the first couple days, they now seem to be sleeping a lot more than feeding. Not just searching for the nipple, they lay around and sleep in the funniest poses (sometimes completely buried under their siblings), which is not very concerning, if it weren't for me not seeing them nursing much at all any longer (I check on them every couple hours). It's possible I am simply missing it, but how can I tell that they are well fed? Google seems to tell me they'd cry like crazy if they were hungry, which they aren't doing... but, concerned kitten grandmother here.

This are mostly my questions. Thanks for the help in advance!

Go Pack

gerryblog — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:37:47 -0800

Moving with a newborn, part 2 - now we know we're going to Milwaukee! Please tell me everything. (Here was Part 1.)

A job offer just came through at Marquette, which means we now know we'll be moving there sometime in mid-summer. (Looks like it'll probably be around July 1.) My primary question is about which neighborhood you think we should live in; our current plan is to rent in an area that's walkable/bikeable to Marquette for the first two or three years, then try to buy a house somewhere and a second car if required.

Turn-ons include walkable neighborhoods, bookstores, and delicious vegetarian-friendly cuisine. Turn-offs include crime and rodents. We're not drinkers -- which is to say we literally don't drink alcohol at all -- so we're not worried about proximity to bars except to the extent that drunk people could annoy us on weekends.

As a secondary question, I'd like to know everything you'd like to tell me about living in Milwaukee. My partner will be staying home with the baby for at least the first bit of our transition, so one thing we're definitely interested in is things for her to do and ways for her to meet people. The baby is our first baby so we're not super-worried about schools (yet); that will probably drive the second move in a few years though.

Neither one of us currently knows anyone in the city, though the faculty in my new department is very welcoming and friendly.

Thanks!

Postnatal Depression and anti-depressants

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:00:05 -0800

Postnatal depression, advice and success stories, please. My wife has been diagnosed with postnatal depression. I felt that something was up about two weeks ago, and as things spiralled downwards a GP has confirmed our suspicions. She's now on some sleeping tablets (temazepan) and an anti-depression (Citalopram, often sold axs Celeza). I am now off work on compassionate leave, and have taken over all night feeding, in addition to anything else she'll let me do.

It's only been a few days, but there's already been an improvement. I'm trying not to beat myself up too badly about dropping the ball and letting things get to this point, but I'm still a little scared, a little anxious, and a bit ignorant (baby is fine).

If any mefites would feel comfortable sharing any advice they think would be useful for a partner in this position I would be tremendously grateful. We're new to this, and I'm unsure of the best way to do things, and help things and make her feel better.

More specifically, I'm a little anxious about the Celexa. I'm trying to be positive, but going online I see a list of sideffects as long my arm, and people saying they never got back to "baseline" after taking SSRIs. I need to feel like we are doing the right thing here; I know it intellectual, but I need to feelit, you know what I mean? Wife is also seeing a therapist etc. Thank you.