Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with newborn

Too Little Too Late?

Bueller — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 23:18:08 -0800

Breastfeeding Filter: When is the breastfeeding window of opportunity over for good? So I had a baby three weeks ago, tried breastfeeding for a couple of days and then had some complications and got very sick (infection and severe anemia). I was hospitalized and nothing happened on the breastfeeding front for almost two weeks and the baby went on formula and did very well. I was pretty much given up on as far as lactation specialists and breastfeeding was concerned. I tried pumping a couple of times and nothing. I was told that this can happen when anemic and sick, etc.

So, now at three weeks post delivery, it seem like my milk finally came in...a little. I can pump out a few tablespoons a day with a manual pump--the only breastfeeding supply I have since I wasn't expecting to be doing this. The kid will latch on for a few minutes at a time but doesn't get much this way. All my chances to see lactation specialists are over now (in regards to insurance coverage.) So basically now I pump a few tablespoons out and pour it in to a bottle with formula and allow the baby to latch on for a few minutes before he gets his bottle. He eats up to four ounces or more at a time, every three hours or so.

So, question: Is there any point to this? Do I have a shot at breastfeeding him or did the window close for me and now I am just running on exhaust at the tail end of my "milk comes in" window? It is time consuming and tiring to do both bottle/breast/pump like this. Is there a point to this or is it too little too late to matter that much.

I'm not a crazed "kid needs to be breastfed at all cost" person, however, I'll put in the time and work if it is advantageous and might improve. I'm ok with doing part formula/part breastfeeding too. Just trying to choose the best course of action (Greatest benefit to baby without killing mom with extra work).

Where can I buy sound protecting earmuffs for infants in Toronto?

modernnomad — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:06:16 -0800

Where can I buy children's ear muffs (for sound protection, not warmth) in Toronto? A concert-going friend is soon to have a baby, and I would like purchase him and is wife (also a frequent concert-goer) some sound protection for their child (newborn or infant size) similar to these. Looking for a physical shop in Toronto where they can be purchased.

Crybaby

murrey — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 04:38:12 -0800

My 5 week old baby cries most of the time he is awake unless I keep moving him around or feeding him. I am at a loss...any suggestion for this weary mom? I have read other questions about babies who cry if you put them down. This is an unfortunate variation on that. He will cry when put down and stop momentarily if I pick him up. Problem is that after 20 seconds of being held, he will start crying until I move him to a new position in my arms. While the upright seated position seems to be his favorite position, he will quickly start crying in this position too unless I move him to another position on my lap.

It is really hard to hear him upset and would like for him to have some "enjoyable" awake time. I can occasionally get him to sit in the vibrating bouncy chair for 10 minutes without screaming, but this is not foolproof. I have ruled out hunger/dirty diaper/etc when this happens.

He actually sleeps at night and naps during the day fairly well (once we get him to sleep), but I am starting to dread when he is awake and the perpetual baby shifting routine.

Any thoughts or suggestions as to what is going on or what I can do to ake him happy/less fussy when awake (other than what I have been doing)?

Health Insurance for a Newborn/Pre-born?

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:38:14 -0800

I'm confused about how to go about providing health insurance for my unborn baby upon it's birth. I am on Medicare, so the child is not covered. I do not qualify for Medicaid/SCHIP, and most individual plans will not cover a newborn from day one. My job provides medical insurance for me only, not my dependents. And actually, not me, either because it does not provide coverage for those already qualifying for Medicare.

For the record, I am on MEDICARE, not Medicaid. Yes, this is the old people's insurance. No, I am not too old to have a baby. I'm on it because I have a disability. But this precludes me from qualifying for every "family plan" I've ever tried to apply for.

My other two children each have their own individual BCBS plans. Our children are also not covered under their father's plan.

The problem is, I cannot seem to apply for an individual plan for this child until he is born. Then, most individual plans have 1 to 6 month waiting periods before a newborn can be covered. If the baby has some kind of pre-existing condition in that time (even something as simple as prematurity or jaundice) he may not qualify for a plan (or the premiums could be astronomical.)

I can't seem to find any sort of coverage for him from day one. (He is due in three months.) This scares the shit out of me.

For one thing, the hospital wants a name of a pediatrician and I can find no one that will take him without insurance. If I leave the "pediatrician" line blank on the hospital registration will a ped come and see him?

What will the hospital do? Will they take us and care for him if he is uninsured? Will we be charged thousands of dollars for his care? What if something IS wrong with him? Will he be treated or will he be moved to a "public" hospital? (I'm planning on going to a private (Catholic) hospital now because I see a perinatologist (high risk OB) and that is where he practices. I'm supposed to have a C-section so cannot safely just go to any ER when I go into labor.) If he has something wrong with him, will he be uninsurable forever? (or at a very high premium, or with his "something wrong" not covered?)

Is there a way to get an as of now unborn child insured from the get-go? Who knows about this stuff? I can't seem to get any answers.

This is so confusing. I just want to go to the hospital and know that my baby will receive the care he needs and we will not go bankrupt because of it.

Yet another new parent "my baby won't sleep like a baby" question.

wolfkult — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:03:20 -0800

Yet another my-baby-can't-sleep question. We've tried every recommendation we've seen online or got from the pediatrician and nothing has worked. Need more ideas or reassurance that it's normal and will pass someday. Our 2 month old is very hard to get to sleep and sleeps very poorly.

At night she sleeps well as long as she's in our arms. Otherwise she wakes up every 15 minutes and goes from grunting to furious in 5 minutes or so. She wakes up this often in our arms but will go back to sleep with some gentle bouncing and shushing. In the daytime, especially the afternoon, she is nearly inconsolable.

Her schedule for the last few weeks is like this (although it varies by an hour or so each day):
She eats at 7pm then is sleeping by around 8pm. She'll sleep until around 1am when she'll eat and go back to sleep (in our arms only of course) until another feeding at 7 or 8am. Then she will eat, stay up a while, and wake up wanting to be fed in 3 hours then it starts to go really down hill. After her 10 or 11am feeding she is very hard to get back to sleep (pacing the floors with her and she sleeps very lightly). This goes on until the afternoon when our routine of rocking/walking her to sleep goes on and on (she isn't sleeping but yawning a lot). She won't sleep and starts a routine of grunting which elevates to struggling which turns into crying and then screaming. We can get her to stop crying by, in my opinion, entertaining her enough so she can't possibly sleep. We basically have to be walking with her bouncing to stop crying or feed her again (which she'll spit up because she is already full). By 7 or 8 she gives up and sleeps pretty soundly (in our arms).

We have come to terms with the baby-only-sleeps-in-our-arms thing, we have lost all hope on that front, but the "baby-will-cry-unless-we-
expend-600-calories-an-hour" is where it gets sort of old after a few days.

The doctor thought it might be acid reflux and we've tried prilosec and prevacid even though before birth we would have probably been very opposed to this sort of thing. We have inclined the crib. We have tried tummy sleeping, co-sleeping, you-name-it-sleeping. Have tried many different formulas (and brands), the normal kind, lactose free, protein broken down ones, soy, and both nutramigen and alimentum. We've been on alimentum for a couple weeks now. We swaddle all the time (miracle blanket is the only things she can't break out of easily) and have tried no swaddle. We have tried a range of house temperatures. We have tried gas drops and gripe water (2 different brand names). We have tried a plethora of white noise (white/pink/brown noise, vacuum, rain, etc etc etc). The swing worked for about 2 or 3 days. The sling worked for 1 day. Have tried about 5 different pacifiers -- they work sometimes but sometimes make her furious. Some people say "go to a chiropractor" but this is a c-section baby so her spine shouldn't be out of whack from being pushed out the vagina.

Nothing really has any effect on her day time sleep or on her need to be held all night long. We don't have any family near by and no friends and we're about to lose it.

We have been to the ped about every week since her birth. The doctors sort of rush us out with smiles and "well, we can try a different AR medicine" and "she's fine" type things. Other than the crying she is in great health, she is gaining weight at a steady rate and shows signs that her mind is in good shape too.

Two questions.

1) Is there anything else we can try?

2) Is this normal? Is this colic even though she CAN be consoled with considerable effort?

Will baby's skull look "normal"?

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:20:43 -0800

Question about my three-month-old's head shape. My daughter was born 3 months ago, and during the delivery, at the last minute, there was an emergency. Her blood pressure dropped and the doctor had to affix a plunger-like vacuum device to her crowning head and pull her out for delivery. I live in a country where that technique is more commonly used than forceps.

The result of this is that her head is somewhat elongated towards the crown. If you look at her face to face, it's not noticeable, but from the side you can pretty clearly see the odd shape. She's also pretty much bald and you can see her entire skull. Once she has more hair it'll be much harder to discern her head shape.

I realize that newborns' skull bones haven't hardened yet and won't for some time. But is it possible that she'll have this elongated shape once the bones fuse?

FWIW, we love our kid no matter what! With the intensity of a thousand suns! I'm just curious how she'll look a few years from now.

How much should we have saved up before we have a baby?

mittenbex — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:45:13 -0800

When the time comes, I'd like for it to be possible for me to stay at home for at least a year after a baby is born (I am not pregnant yet). I guess this is two questions. First, how much should I have saved up to care for baby for the first year and secondly, how much should I have saved up to cover myself for the year? Mr. Mittenbex is a teacher so there will be other income obviously. I am currently only bringing in about 21k a year.

I know the obvious one-time costs like crib, car seat, furniture etc. But I'm looking for advice from parents who have an idea on what they spent on their kid in the first year. I am planning to breastfeed so hopefully that works out and out goes the cost of formula.

Thanks, guys!

How did you split up nighttime newborn duties?

wolfkult — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:38:19 -0800

How did you split up nighttime newborn duties? My wife and I are expecting a baby in the next week or so. We have talked a lot about how to split up infant duties but want to make sure we have a plan that we can agree on now and that will work.

We'd like to hear some people's experiences on how to split up the workload. We're mainly wondering what has worked for people on weeknights when the father works and the mother does not.

Some details:
-I will be working 40 hours a week (8-5, 9-6, computer engineering, office job)
-We are lucky that the mother does not have to work for the foreseeable future
-Mother is going to breastfeed (or try to, we have bottles ready just in case)
-No relatives live nearby to help
-I have always slept a lot (8 hours or so) and have no idea how I will function on a lot less sleep but realize I may only get half of that
-Baby is going to be sleeping in a bassinet for the first few months in our bedroom

How did you split up the duties? What worked and what didn't?

Art project with/for/about my newborn son

sandor — Wed, 27 May 2009 05:50:48 -0800

What long-term art project should I do with/for/about my newborn son? We've got this baby on the way. Coming in a couple/few weeks. And as if giving him my name, my everlasting love, sustenance for survival, a roof over his head, and my genes weren't enough, I'd also like to involve him in some kind of hare-brained, long-term art project. I'm not sure what, exactly, so I turn to you, creative MeFites.

Obviously choice is some kind of photo-a-day project. This would be great, but I'm not sure I have the stamina for it. Photo-a-week may be a more feasible endeavor. But either of those would be pretty obvious. I'm looking for something new(-ish) to do.

The goal here is to have some kind of artistic document of his growth over time that can be experienced in, say, a minute or two, rather than, you know, real time.

Ideas? Links to similar projects you've seen online?

Best answer gets to name him.

is this hungarian DGSM method going to help my new-born niece ?

Baud — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:37:00 -0800

is this hungarian DGSM method going to help my new-born niece ? Long story short : my niece is about six weeks old, did a cardio-respiratory arrest in her first day, is finally able to breathe without a machine. Now here comes the hungarian chapter of this story : The parents (my brother and the sister-in-law) are being told that the hungarian method Dévény Special Manual Technique and Gimnastic Method a.k.a. DSGM is the best thing for the child.

Problems : the DSGM method means trips to Hungary and nowadays money does not exactly grow on trees.

The website is http://www.deveny.hu/en/

Has any fellow MeFite heard of this method ? Is it good ? Is it the best one ? Is it a scam ? Should they blow their savings doing it ?

"Placenta" Trees: 101?

tybeet — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:08:52 -0800

I would like to organize a kind of placenta tree (sans placenta) for my sister's newborn. I'm trying to figure out what species would be best (both symbolically, and practically) for her. I really like the idea of a tree symbolizing and paralleling the growth of a person. It seems really cool in a real down-to-earth old-fashioned way.

So my sister lives in a Hardiness Zone of 5. I'd really like to buy a "tree" that will survive indoors by a window. I suspect she will be buying a house in a few years time, and so a tree that is apt to be transplanted outside in this zone would be ideal. Preferably also a tree that is somewhat no-fuss. What would the hive mind suggest for a species for this sort of thing? Is there a common tree that people use for this that I could use to read into "placental treeing" or any sites that talk about this in detail?

Has anyone done this before that can relate their experience (first- or second-hand)?

Thanks!

It's a hard question...

Bardolph — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:08:18 -0800

So many great pads available to soften hard mattresses, but nothing seems to go the other direction. What are some creative ways to make our cushy pillowtop mattress firm enough for safe cosleeping with a new baby? The mattress is queen-sized, and while it's not ultra-squishy, it is soft enough that I suspect it wouldn't meet current standards for safe baby bedding. We're planning on using a cosleeper or Amby for most of the night, but I'd like to be able to nurse in bed without stressing over what might happen if I drowse off and let the baby fall asleep next to me. Sadly, a new mattress is not an option. Any ideas for pads or DIY fixes I could use to give this one a firmer surface?

Does clipping for a tongue-tie really require general anesthesia?

NortonDC — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 12:05:27 -0800

Our 21 day old daughter is tongue-tied (ankyloglossia). The doctor wants to do the clip (lingual frenectomy) under general anesthesia by default, and we're uncomfortable with that. Is general anesthesia appropriate by default for this? Should we be concerned?

what to put in a newborn time capsule ?

Baud — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 11:36:23 -0800

My nephew/niece is due any minute now. I'm planning a "do not open until 2019" sealed box. Besides newspapers of the day and screenshots of a few websites and bearing in mind that I live in Belgium, what would you put in his/her time capsule ?

Help me preemie baby zip though the airport line at JFK!

Izzmeister — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 16:24:47 -0800

How to get through JFK with a preemie newborn without waiting on line for possibly hours? I'm arriving to JFK Airport later this week on an international flight.

I am arriving with my newborn baby (preemie to boot!) and noticed in the past when arriving at JFK that sometimes mothers with newborns seem to be whisked ahead of the line so they don't have to wait in the looong snake line for passport control.

how could I get around this line with my newborn? i don't want her around the airport for more then absolutely necessary....

can I pay (not too much!) for VIP service or something at JFK so I avoid the line?

(triple bonus points if someone here actually works in JFK and can help me!) :)

The tinest kitten puddle.

cgg — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:39:12 -0800

Follow up to last week's question: My rescue foster cat just had her litter of kittens. I have questions, obviously. 6 hours or so ago, my sweetheart foster cat gave birth. I think there's 6 of them -- they're all black, so when they're in a pile, it's hard to tell exactly. I had 6 counted, but it looked like she might have one more and I needed to get some sleep. If she had it and it's in the pile, I have no idea. It wasn't the easiest delivery, but in the end it looks like all are curled up with mom, eating and jostling for position. Momma's napping intermittently.

First question: How soon can I move momma cat and the litter? I have a bigger, better box for them in a better location, one that isn't layered with the icky bloody towel they're currently on. Momma cat trusts me, so getting her kittens from her isn't a problem. I just don't want to handle the newborns more than I already have, and I don't want to stress anybody out.

Two: In the bottom of the pile somewhere is a kitten with a really long umbilical cord. (Mom cut it, there's just several inches attached to the kitten) It cant be good -- it's either going to dry to the towel and get the kitten stuck, or get wrapped around something bad. Can I cut it?

Three: How do I know if the kittens are getting enough food? There's intermittent crying, but it's impossible to tell which kitten is the culprit. Also -- any idea how I can identify 6 seemingly identical kittens? I thought of nail polish, but I don't want momma cat licking that...

And finally: If any don't make it, what am I supposed to with the the bodies? I don't want to just throw them in the dumpster...

Sorry for all the questions. Basically, I'm just looking for new-litter advice from anybody who has been there or know about these things!

How can we keep anxiety down with uninvited vistors to the hospital?

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:03:17 -0800

New baby + uninvited family visitors = drama. More hormone-charged details inside. We're due with Baby #1 in a matter of minutes/hours/days. We politely asked family and friends to please leave us alone for a few days so we can do some nesting and have some time for the 3 of us to adjust. This was intentionally done because of particular grandparents causing A LOT of anxiety to both of us.
We thought everyone was okay with this plan, which we've been quite vocal about. But now that L&D is almost here, the anxiety-causing grandparent has decided that she and spouse are flying out (across the country) immediately.
I AGAIN politely asked them to give us 2-3 days post-delivery to be alone (to nest, to figure out breastfeeding, to recover, to get past the hormonal stage, etc. I also made the argument "What if we have a c-section or the baby is ill, maybe we'll want you out here for 2 weeks? Why buy tickets for 2 days now?") but they are NOT listening and say that they're on their way out tomorrow or Tuesday.
They say "We aren't visiting you, we're visiting the baby." (Which strikes me as even less helpful and caring about mom's well-being and sort of hurts.)
They are planning on staying at a hotel (we helped them pick one out but thought it'd be for later in the month and they were upset that we asked that they not stay with us due to cramped conditions), renting a car, etc.
We know that we can put them on a "do not allow to visit" list at the hospital (I think?). This possibly will cause more drama though, of course.
So, the question, what can we do to keep anxiety down? This is a stressful enough time without this added drama.

Is there such thing as "spare time" during maternity/paternity leave?

Alabaster — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 11:21:37 -0800

Is there such thing as "spare time" during maternity/paternity leave? Our first child is due this month and we're both taking a few weeks of leave from work to stay home with our newborn. Never having been through this, I'm fairly ignorant:

Some people tell me that the baby will monopolize every moment of every day and that we will be too exhausted and busy to think about anything else during our leave time.

Others tell me that the baby will sleep a lot and the down time is good for catching up on projects, creative work, etc.

I'm guessing the answer is somewhere in between, and that it depends greatly on the baby.

What are your experiences?

(I'm asking specifically about the first few weeks, particularly when home on leave from work -- however I'd also be interested in advice on how to balance having a baby/young child with hobbies and creative work--especially when these require hours of intense solitary work).

How can two freelancers schedule in a baby?

gottabefunky — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:59:38 -0800

How do two self-employed people who work at home (writers) deal with having their first child? So Funky Jr. is due in January, and Ms. F and I are wondering how in heaven's name we're going to keep our careers going when we both work at home.

We want to be equally and fully involved in raising the child, so we won't (and for financial reasons can't) just drop him/her off at daycare. One or both of us is (are?) going to have to start working outside the house, for reasons of concentration and space. (One of our offices will become baby central.) We already do about half our work in coffeeshops.

We're thinking about getting a nanny (or maybe daycare) a day or two a week, and splitting the rest of the hours. This will probably involve cutting back our working hours, but we're willing - and it'll probably make us work more efficiently anyway. We want to the baby to become a part of our lives, not the sole focus of them.

But the terrible freedom of freelancing is starting to make us antsy. We're wondering how exactly to go about dividing up the time: by days? Half days? Shifts? (7 a.m-1 p.m., 1-7 p.m.?) How can we make the line between home and work, already blurry as it is, more clear? How will we ever get enough quiet creative concentration time, let alone sleep?

Any advice would be great, but I'd especially love to hear from any dual-freelance couples out there...

How can we get great newborn photographs?

k8t — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:35:52 -0800

What are the tricks/tip to getting great newborn photographs? There is a photographer in town that does lovely newborn photos but she charges $650 and you get a book and a few 3X5s!

How could we with our Nikon D40x take photos like this? Or, perhaps a better choice, could we try to hire a student from the local photography school to take photos like this?

If we go with the photography student, what is a fair rate to pay him/her?

Seeking advice to relieve major breastmilk pumping discomfort.

timmins — Tue, 13 May 2008 12:01:40 -0800

We have a healthy 6 week old girl. We've come to a point where the quality of life for Mom isn't very pleasurable in terms of breastfeeding. We both wanted to breastfeed our child but we're approaching 'last resort' and transitioning to formula. I would like to help Mom as much as possible so I'm looking for some advice from others. Like I stated earlier, our intentions were to breastfeed. Mom, unfortunately, has very large breasts with what we learned to be flat nipples. Our baby didn't latch very well. We hired a consultant that spent hours helping and we even called upon the hospital's nurse for further help. We thought the best solution would be to pump into bottles and if we had a shortage we would supplement with formula.

For our baby, things really went well after a couple scary days of working hard to latch. Weeks later, she's consuming anywhere between an ounce to 5+ ounces of breastmilk.

Mom, on the other hand, has slowly worn thin with this routine's wear and tear. She is using a Medela pump and upgraded to 37mm shields. We've experienced clogged ducts, hardening, highly sensitive and sometimes painful breasts. Her routines have varied from every 2 hours to sometimes getting some rest and pumping every 4 or 5 hours. They continually fill up and with her breast size they need to be emptied.

The pain is simply getting worse. We both don't want to give up and we both hate the indirect guilt factor from those that insist babies be breastfed, but we need to restore Mom's quality of life. Knowing that letdown isn't the problem and trying to relieve pain and hypersensitivity, I'm in search of experienced advice. Thanks.

What lotion can I use for my newborn's sensitive skin?

albolin — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:23:15 -0800

What lotion can I use for my newborn's sensitive skin? I've tried the Mustela, Aveeno and J&J but it doesn't seem to work very well. What lotion do you recommend that I can use on her face? My baby is 8 weeks old and she has dry, sensitive skin. And running the heater at night sure doesn't help. She gets a patch of flaky skin on her right eyebrow that comes and goes about once a week. When I put lotion on it, sometimes it turns a little red.

Can anybody recommend a lotion that I can use on her face that won't irritate her skin?

Twilight of the idols

numberstation — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:08:33 -0800

How can I hold down a highly stressful job in the City of London along with a newborn baby at home? Our daughter is a month old and I have been back at work for 2 works now following paternity leave. Unfortunately the Summer is the busiest time of the year at my place of work and it is not possible for me to take holiday until October. The bottom line is I am going to have to effectively function in a stressful job that often requires up to 12 hour days and occasion Saturday mornings and somehow learn to manage this. We live in a studio flat (ie. 1 room) and have the baby in a moses basket next to the bed. I am a lighter sleeper than my wife so I get woken up in the night before my wife. I find it hard to turn over and go back to sleep as I feel bad for my wife. After two weeks I am struggling and have tried to avoid artificial stimulants thus far. My sight has become very poor and if I turn my head my sight becomes double vision.

It is not that I am getting no sleep at all, it is just that the sleep is broken and the cumulative effect of this has now caught up with me. Millions of people around the world are going through this in much more difficult circumstances I know, but as the sole bread winner in an already stressful job I am eager to get all the advice I can. I am 25 years old and my body should be able to bounce back better than someone older I would have thought but it seems to be taking this badly. Fresh fruit and veg, huge amounts of water and gentle exercise are not helping here. Thanks.

Should we hire my mom to be a daycare provider?

fellion — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 07:16:37 -0800

Should we hire my mom to provide daycare for my soon to be born child? We'll be needing daycare soon. The normal Monday - Friday type. Where we live, this means $800 to $1200 a month for an infant. My mom is working at a job she doesn't particularly like and would be able to retire if she wanted to. Should we offer her the money we'd pay to the daycare to become a "stay-at-home" grandma? I would love for her to do it and think she would jump at the chance, but am worried I've overlooking something.

Has anyone done this?

What were the pitfalls?

How'd you get them to take your money?

How to find a good mother's helper or other childcare solution?

justonegirl — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 10:00:11 -0800

Child care solutions for working at home with a newborn? Our son is now 2 months old, and I am just starting to get back into my work. (Unfortunately, I'm sort of jumping into the fire: I'm a corporate event planner, and my biggest gala of the year is the first week of February.) My husband and I are both fortunate enough to be self-employed and work from home, but we're finding it near impossible to accomplish all we need to with a newborn at home. With my biggest deadline looming, and January being the busiest month for my husband's work as well, we're both stressed to the limit.

Unfortunately, trading off shifts hasn't been effective for us. We don't have any family members or close friends who are available to assist with child care with any sort of frequency, nor do I know any other moms who might be able to swap child care duties. We're not willing to put our baby in a day care center -- I already have significant trust/guilt issues about even leaving him with my mom, here at my house, while I'm under the same roof! We would be willing to hire someone to assist us in our home, but how do you go about finding someone reliable and trustworthy to work just a few hours, a few times a week? (I'm assuming here that "good" mother's helpers/nannies would be looking for full-time work.) The other downside to trying to hire someone is that, due to the immediacy of our work demands and deadlines, we don't have a ton of time to dedicate to the very-necessary screening process.

I hate pre-emptively shooting down a ton of natural suggestions (such as asking friends, running advertisements, etc). I'm just in a bind here and trying to give as much information as possible in order to find a resolution that works. Ideas or personal experiences are appreciated!