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How to protect ourselves when reporting child abuse at a neighbour?

Kickstart70 — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:00:22 -0800

Best way to handle reporting (suspected) child abuse at our only neighbour? Note: the question is how to sensibly and safely report this, NOT IF we should report this!

We moved to a rural house this year and we basically have one neighbour (couple with two boys...about 7 and 9 years old, I guess). We can hear them from our place. Or, more accurately, we can hear her shrieking harpy yell from our place about 250 feet away. The husband doesn't yell as far as I can hear.

Today was bad...things like "CLEAN THIS FUCKING ROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO GET A FIST IN THE FUCKING FACE!". Yes, it's abuse, but I don't know for sure that it really got physical. The yelling went on for quite a while, then the music started (appropriately, "Helter Skelter" was played) but didn't drown out the verbal abuse. During all this, the husband left in his pickup, so I'm certain it was directed at the kids and not him.

Given that they are our only neighbour within hearing distance and we are quite rural, if the police or social services arrives, it's going to clear that we are the ones who called. I'm concerned about retribution. I could easily see them doing something, from what I can tell of their/her temperament.

So, my plan is to call police during the next incident. What can I do to protect myself/my family/my property afterward? Or am I being overly concerned about myself in a case where their kids should be primary? Thanks for advice.

Sharing snowblower ownership

ParsonWreck — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:20:02 -0800

What do I need to consider when sharing ownership of a power tool with my neighbours? The item in question is a snowblower, though I'm sure the same advice applies to sharing ownership of any large tool.

Some details that might be relevant: 4 of us want to split the purchase. I've known the other 3 for over a decade, and trust them (which I suppose is obvious.) One of the guys doesn't use his garage for car purposes, so has lots of room and offered to store the machine. The units we're eying would cost us at most $300 each.

Is there anything specific I should address, or be concerned about?

What's he dialling in there?

xchmp — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:32:52 -0800

For the last month or two I've been hearing noises from the flat above me. Specifically, I hear a phone number being dialled (as if by a modem), followed by the standard telephone voice saying that the number dialled has not been recognised. This voice repeats itself for a while, before the whole process starts again. This goes on for hours at a time. What's going on? I wouldn't find this odd if it was just occasionally. I don't always hear it, depending on what I'm doing and whereabouts in my flat I am, but it seems to happen at all times of day and night.

I can't think of what it could be. If he were using dial-up internet, then I'd expect the occasional sounds of dialling, but not the unrecognised numbers or the fact that it repeats for hours on end. I did wonder if he was running some kind of auto-dialling phone scam, but it seems to happen too much in the early hours of the night for that to be the case.

This is in the UK. I don't know the guy (or anyone else in the building) so I can't just ask. But at this point I'm curious as to what's going on and any ideas would be welcome.

How to ask a neighbour to control their wandering cat

chris88 — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 23:40:39 -0800

Advice gratefully received on approaching a neighbour re a wandering cat. We have two indoor cats at home, well looked after and relatively happy.

A nearby neighbour who has been in the area a few months has brought with them their own cat, one who seems well looked after, registered etc.

Thing is, this cat has decided that our house environs should be its second home. It lays in our garden, it wanders around our front and backyards, it digs in the garden and leaves messes ... generally, its a nuisance.

In normal circumstances my wife and I could put up with the occasional nuisance, and even the messes this cat causes. But in the past week one of our two cats has been forced to go around the vet to have treatment on crystals in his urine.

While he is recovering, is on a modified diet, etc, the vet did wonder why this condition would have all of a sudden presented itself. When I mentioned this wandering cat, he said to me that "external stressors" like the one this would provide can contribute to or prompt the problem.

Our cat gets understandibly upset when this other cat wanders onto our property and stays there (or marks the territory in our garden)

Yesterday I bought some cat repellent and spread it around our front and backyards. However when a family member dropped our two cats back at our house from the vet today, this other cat was sleeping happily right next to the house under our back verandah.

After talking to the local council here, I was told that if the cat went onto our property after curfew (which under our local laws is sunset to sunrise) we are allowed to hire a trap from the council and trap the cat if it comes onto our property after curfew, with a council ranger picking up the trap the next day and notifying the owner.

Personally I think this is pretty cruel, and have heard of instances where cats have been left in these traps for too long.

The other thing is that we want this cat gone from our property pretty much full stop. Apart from risking getting run over on our busy street, some of the plants I have in my garden (cacti and succulents) can be toxic to animals.

I don't want to escalate the situation, but at the same time don't want the cat harmed, and want our cats to remain healthy and happy.

How can I approach my neighbour, without anger and in good faith, to get this issue sorted out. Have you any tips, ideas, etc that could help ... should I speak with them or drop a note in their letterbox outlining my concerns?

Dogs and cats living together: mass hysteria.

Sonny Jim — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:05:58 -0800

Help my cat adjust to the new neighbour's dog. She has never had to live with a dog before. My 12 year old cat is terrified by the dog next door. We live in a block of flats and share a garden. There is no fence between us which means their dog can roam around.

She is not afraid because he is an aggressive dog but more because she has never had to deal with one before. He is a very friendly and gentle dog (a black lab) and we are on reasonably good terms with the new neighbours.

I have read tips advising that it is best to introduce pets gradually, but this is mostly for people who are introducing cats and dogs into the same household. We're a little limited in what we can do without being able to control the dog by having him on a leash or in a carrier.

Ultimately I think they will get used to each other, but are there any steps I can take now to alleviate the stress for my cat and make the transition easier for her?

Noisy Neighbours Require Political Manouvre

Popular Ethics — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 20:13:14 -0800

Apartment Etiquette - Dealing with a stereo hound next door. I just moved into a new apartment building I quickly found out that my neighbour likes to invite his friends over regularly to show off his base-pounding stereo. Sigh. So this afternoon, when he was on a "trial run" before his friends showed up, I walked over, introduced myself, and politely asked him to turn it down. He did, but they're back to their regular habit this evening (even turning it up to full, then quickly down, as if I might not notice).

OK, so I haven't been in an apartment building in years. I haven't built the thick skin yet. I wonder though how I can go about enforcing my request without a) whining impotently or b) escalating the conflict.

Thoughts?

A cure for missing newspaper syndrome?

onshi — Sat, 15 Oct 2005 11:36:32 -0800

What's the best way to cure missing newspaper syndrome? I live in a large apartment building and subscribe to a daily paper (Toronto Star), which is delivered by an independent contractor and hung from my unit's front door handle.

The Star has an on-line form to report 'delivery problems' and to request a credit when you don't receive your paper. If you complain early enough, they send a replacement paper; later on, they just credit your account.

Presumably, some heat gets applied to the delivery people when there are too many complaints. I’ve come down with missing paper syndrome 8 or 9 times in the two months I’ve subscribed, and have reported it each time.

When I’m home (and awake) all morning, and am sure the paper never came, I have no qualms about complaining. What worries me, however, is when I sleep in on Saturdays, like today, and find no paper at about 11am. What are the odds that someone is ‘borrowing’ my paper? I don’t want to cause unfair trouble for my delivery person, but I’m concerned that posting a note like this one (albiet less passive-aggressively worded) on my door might give my neighbours the wrong impression of me.

Advice?

Next door hermit

desert_roamer — Wed, 04 May 2005 01:41:20 -0800

I have the pleasure of living next door to a hermit. His garden is a jungle and only gets cleared once a decade before it consumes his house. It has recently been cleared by a local kid and has already started to grow anew. What are the ethics of pouring weed killer on his side of the boundary with my garden and any more permanent solutions (soil sterilisation) other than petrol?

Stop, newspaper thief!

pedantic — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 22:11:30 -0800

Somebody steals my sports section and it chafes my morning. I live in an apartment building and I want to catch the tricksy thieving perp or at least let him know he's found. I'm not looking for anything retalitory, just devious. Any ideas? For instance, errant porn in the box scores. It might make for an embarrassing bus ride...