Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with negotiate

Negotiating patient/family rights at an ultrasound facility

Anonymous — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:12:16 -0800

Is there a medical or technical reason an ultrasound facility would specify that only one person can accompany the pregnant person during the ultrasound? (And if it turns out we must follow this policy, how could the third parent observe the ultrasound from the waiting room?) (Anonymous only because we have friends who haven't heard our pregnancy news yet, and I don't want them hearing through internet-grapevines! Soon all will be nicely open for us. :))

I'm one of three people who are having a baby together. (Two of us are the biological parents, but the three of us are the parents -- love each other, live together, are committed to raising the child together.) Of course all of us are equally excited to be there for the ultrasound two weeks from now. But even understanding this, the one admin person we've asked so far (a receptionist, I think) apologetically said their policy is that only one person can accompany the pregnant person inside the room during an ultrasound.

This is a routine ultrasound for a healthy pregnancy. I'm wondering whether that policy is primarily meant to keep lots of family members from crowding into the room. I'm also guessing that at an ultrasound facility in a Northeast U.S. city, there must already have been some precedent for three people all having an equally valid interest in an ultrasound. (What about a surrogate mother plus the two bio-parents, or a lesbian couple who are including their known-donor in the parenting?)

So there two questions here, and I'd love your advice about either:

1) What should be our strategy for reaching, and for talking to, higher-up people at the office, so we can gently persist with this question? Clearly this is only the first of many such questions -- we need to know our rights and how to articulate them before there's any possiblity of an emergency situation (for example, if something went wrong during delivery and the non-bio parent found she suddenly wasn't allowed to be in the room). We're also asking other multi-parent families for advice, but I'm asking here because input from a more general audience (especially any medical people?) could be very useful.

2) If we really can't all be in the room this time: how can the third person, who would be there sitting in the waiting room, observe the ultrasound? (Could we at least record it with our own video camera, for later viewing? [I'm guessing live transmission of the video -- say if we brought one laptop inside the room and pointed its camera at the screen, transmitting to another laptop in the waiting room -- would not be allowed at the facility?])

Low starting salary?

moiraine — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 03:58:40 -0800

Recent MSc graduate offered low starting salary. Now what? I just graduated with a Masters in a science field whose degrees are very much sought after this year. I was offered a really nice job in this company that I would like to work for, however, the starting salary is about 10-20% lower than what it would be in other companies. That being said, I am grateful for any job. There was a real crunch in the industry a couple of months ago, where employers were heavily cutting back on their budgets and hence not recruiting then.

Are my expectations too high for an entry-level job? Or should I try to negotiate for more? If so, how would I do so? Keep in mind that I am in a science and technology field where people with my degree are very, very heavily in demand. I got several other interviews lined up -- only, the starting date for these jobs are a year from now, and I can't wait that long without a proper job (I have student debts to pay).

Another caveat: While this company pays a low starting salary, bonuses are fairly generous, and there are a lot of perks like business-class travel only (while most other companies allow entry-level employees to only fly economy class).

An acceptable answer to a salary inquiry?

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:36:47 -0800

How do I respond to an interviewers salary questions? In just a few days I have an interview with another company. From past experiences I know that at some point I will be asked what I currently make. This normally wouldn't be a problem but I am hesitant to do so with this interview.

I know that in this new but similar role you generally make at least 20k more than what I make now. That's a fact. What I fear is that I may low-ball myself and drastically reduce my earning potential if I tell them, even though I am just as qualified as everyone else. This is assuming everything goes well and I get an offer.

Should I not answer with a number and just tell them it's negotiable?

Should I exaggerate my current salary to something closer to their standards?

Right now I am leaning towards the negotiable option but it's not set in stone.

Help me "negotiate" with Sprint.

kristymcj — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:27:46 -0800

My contract is up with Sprint and I've decided that if they'll offer me some goodies, I'll stay with them. I've been with them for 9 years. What do I ask for? Where to start from negotiating-wise? I want the new Pal Pre.
I would like it for free.

I would like a cheap plan.
My current plan is the Fair and Flexible plan: $50 for 750 anytime minutes, nights & Weekends after 9:00 are free. I pay $5 for 300 texts and have free Sprint to Sprint.

I understand that if I have net access with my phone I'll have to pay more for the data. I'd rather not start paying the (quite reasonable, really) $99 per month for the unlimited. Is it realistic to ask for my same rate with the data plan thrown in for free?

Anything else I can ask for that I'm not thinking of?

When should I negotiate rent for a new apartment?

eleutheria — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:03:30 -0800

When (and how) should I negotiate rent for a new apartment? Everyone says I'm in a great position to bargain, but I'm not sure at what point in the process I should bring it up. I'm looking for a one-bedroom apartment, and there are a lot of listings that seem to be just out of my price range -- I'm willing to pay $1200 or $1300, and I see lots of listings for $14-1500. Everyone I've talked to says that I can definitely negotiate those prices down (I have a good job and job security, good credit, blah blah blah I'm an ideal tenant).

I've looked around online and found some helpful tips about negotiating in general, but I think I need more specifics! I'm about to start viewing places, and I can't figure out the best way to go about this.

Should I bring up the price issue right away when I see a place that I like? Should I "apply" for the apartment first and THEN try to talk them down? I don't want to waste everyone's time by applying for apartments I can't afford, but on the other hand I think I'd be in a stronger bargaining position if they run a credit check, etc. first, and know that I'm a good prospect.

So, how should I have this conversation? (Oh, and would the answer be different if I'm dealing with a realtor vs. directly with the owner? I'll probably be seeing both kinds of places.)

We both want to live close to our families, except they live 1,200 miles apart.

lolalivia — Wed, 27 May 2009 09:28:23 -0800

We both want to live close to our families, except they live 1,200 miles apart. NegotiationFilter:
The BF and I met 3 years ago when living in different cities on the East Coast. We both wanted a change in location so after 6 months of every-weekend bus trips to visit each other, we moved in together in Boston. We’ve encountered many ups and downs, but with professional help, are much improved in the fine arts of communicating and negotiating in our relationship. We are in a pretty solid place right now to plan a future together, with one exception: we are having trouble agreeing on a location to do so.

Since moving to the East Coast from the Midwest in 2002, I have been able to fly home to visit about 2 - 3 times a year, usually for long weekend or week-long trips to spend quality time with the fam, all of which is in Iowa. I also talk with my parents about once a week on the phone to catch up. As my Dad and Mom each have their own businesses, it is hard for them to visit more than once a year or every other year. All of the BF’s family is on the East Coast. He also talks with his parents weekly, and we see his parents and other family at least once a month, sometimes more.

As time goes on, I have realized that while I may not necessarily want to live in the same state as my family, living within a driving distance of about 5 hours (300 miles) or closer would be ideal. The BF feels the same way in regards to his family. So while I want to move closer to home, he wants to stay put.

We both agree that we would like to live about 2 hours (100 miles-ish) away from a major city. Our jobs can both be adapted to new locations. We would like to plan for a house with a garage and a large yard, and we want to be able to afford it. We also realize that life happens and that no location is guaranteed as permanent. But we agree that this is an issue we need to compromise on in order to move forward in our relationship.

As a side note: if flying home weren't so prohibitively expensive, I'd be willing to continue on the East Coast and just fly home more often. But as flights are usually about $500 a trip, it adds up very fast.

Does the IRS Negotiate?

brigita — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:16:28 -0800

Taxfilter: Is it possible to negotiate with the IRS? While a thick envelope was a good thing to receive when applying to college, getting one from the IRS is all kinds of bad. I apparently forgot to import investment information from one of our financial institutions for 2007 which put us WAY in arrears, meaning we owe a good chunk of cash, the interest on said chunk, *and* a penalty amounting to about 4x interest.

I'm a total socialist and am fine with paying the tax $$ + interest we owe, but the penalties...not so much.

My question is this: is there any way I can get them to either take out or knock down the penalty amount? Would I get better results if I were to write a letter or call? Does our ability to pay the bill in full help or hurt our chances of getting some $$ shaved off?

I do have a wee bit of quasi-leverage: I probably rushed through the tax prep on account of having to get the paperwork filed before having MAJOR surgery to treat my colorectal cancer. I don't think I've swiped my cancer card as yet, but if I'm going to, this is the time!

Any and all strategic advice is appreciated!

How can I get the best price on this sold out car?

mad bomber what bombs at midnight — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 08:42:26 -0800

Is anybody selling Honda Fits for less than MSRP in central TX? Similar to this question:

I'm in Austin, TX, looking for a 2009 Honda Fit. There's a wait for most configurations at every dealership. The build and color I want will come in about 3 weeks, and I put a deposit to reserve it at one dealership.

So far it seems nobody will consider taking less than MSRP. Edmunds shows invoice as $600 less, but they're "What other people are paying" number is actually $500 more than MSRP.

How can I negotiate this? What leverage do I have, because it feels like I have none. Have I given anything up by putting down the deposit (it is supposed to be refundable)? Any personal stories about buying this car?

Running out of time

emelenjr — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:07:22 -0800

A two-part workplace question. HR people and anyone familiar with contract employment, heads up. Last month, I panicked because I realized my employment contract at Big Credit Card Company was nearing its two-year limit. I was afraid that the month of December (which this year features my brother's wedding as well as Christmas) would be my last month of employment. So I e-mailed my rep at the staffing company who placed me in my current position. Rep said fear not—due to my Jan. '07 start date, the end date wouldn't fall until April '09 instead of Jan. '09.

Phew.

On Thursday this week, I had a meeting with my hiring manager at the credit card company, who informed me that the negotiations either to grant me an extra extension or to hire me off my contract weren't fruitful, so my last day would be in Jan. '09. I informed my hiring manager that my rep at the staffing company had said otherwise, to which my hiring manager said he knew nothing. Following the meeting, I forwarded the e-mail between me and my staffing company rep to my hiring manager, who said he'd get back to me.

Now. Realistically, I don't think the staffing company's e-mail will change very much about the credit card company's two-year policy for contractors. (Contractors can work no longer than two years, and then must take a 90-day hiatus before they can be brought back in, if needed.) I suspect the most it will do is get my rep in some hot water for not having her facts straight. But maybe I'm wrong. January '07 to January '09 does make sense, so I understand my hiring manager's point. However, as recently as last month, the company that negotiated my contract with the credit card company did make a point to tell me I was wrong to think the contract would be up in January.

Part 1: Is the fact that I have written documentation from my staffing company basically saying, "No, you're wrong about January. Your end date will fall in April instead," worth anything? What's my best course of action if the staffing company rep says, "Oops, my bad. You've got 90 fewer days left than we both thought"?

Part 2: Any tips for staying psyched up about a job when I know the end date is looming closer and closer, and there's nothing I can do about it? I've been terminated (by surprise) before, but this is the first experience I've had with what's basically a planned layoff. I do not look forward to starting over somewhere else, and I'm not at all in the mood right now to begin trying to sell myself to another employer. Also, it's hard to avoid feeling like the last two years have been a waste of time. My job duties won't be going away any time soon, and someone else will need to fill my seat (in all likelihood, someone trained by me.)

How do young professionals successfully negotiate a starting salary?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:12:25 -0800

Do young professionals stand a change when negotiating a starting salary after a three-month probationary period? I started my current job a little while ago and it is now time for my three-month review. At the time I accepted this job, I was told that the salary I would be receiving ($35k) is non-negotiable during the probationary period, and could be reviewed at the three month mark. Although I found this somewhat suspiciously, I felt that this job was the best fit for me and was excited to start.

I’m feeling a bit more realistic and familiar with how things work at the land planning and design firm I work for, however still not 100% comfortable or confident in my skills. I am trained as a landscape architect, and have spent the majority of my time doing graphic design, editing and formatting using InDesign.

However, friends of mine in the same profession are receiving an annual salary of almost $10,000 more. I get the same types of benefits they do, and two weeks holiday time. At this point, there has been no discussion about perks, bonuses, or any incentives. I don’t drive, so cars/mileage isn’t factored in.

During my interview, I specifically asked if there would be a considerable amount of overtime. They answered no, as long as you finish what you need to do. However, in one two-week pay period, I worked double the time I was supposed to, twelve days in a row, and spent the entire weekend at the office. I received one day off in lieu for this time.

It is a 9:00am-5:00pm job, however everybody knows you come in at 8:00 and you leave at 6:00pm at the very least. Nobody gets up from their desk at lunch time, and in the summer we are supposed to have half-day Fridays… but nobody ever takes their half days. The idea is that you come in to work earlier and stay later to take a half day off, but really… you just end up working more.

The office is severely understaffed and during the time that I’ve been here (3 months) I’ve attended three good-bye parties. Prior to my arrival, one of the partners quit and took two employees with him to a different firm. Am I wrong to see this as a red flag? This is a small firm, with about ten people.

I believe that I’m worth more than my current salary, and assume that they would expect some negotiation during my hour-long review tomorrow. However, if I ask for an increase, I don’t want to slave away and feel obligated to stay late at night and come in on weekends. They’re severely short-staffed and I believe that some of the project managers lack proper organization skills – but how does a Junior Designer bring this up?

My ideal salary would be $41,500 – given my education and overseas work experience. I’m trying to gauge what other young professionals make in Toronto, but everybody is pretty tight-lipped. I highly doubt they will give me this. I do enjoy my work, and money isn’t everything, but I’d like it to be fair.

How do I politely ask for at least what I feel I’m worth? How can a young professional argue that they’re worth it, they’re willing to work hard but not sell their soul?

Cover letter for a full-time job that shouldn't be

tigerjade — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:21:35 -0800

Help me write a winning cover letter! I'm trying to convince a company looking for software engineers that I could be a great addition even though I don't want to work full-time. I'm trying to write the perfect cover letter that'll convince a company that's looking for a software engineer that they'll benefit from hiring me on a part-time and/or after hours basis.

I have a job that I love, but we have a baby on the way and I'd like to get some more work to get into better financial shape (nesting doesn't just refer to painting the nursery!). I've found a job posting that looks ideal; they even want telecommuting. I have the intro paragraph down, and the teaser about how great I am ;> , but I can't figure out how to word the paragraph where I suggest that I would be a great fit on their team, just not from 8-5.

Or would it be better to just let it wait until they contact me to tell them I don't want a full-time day-time job?

Thanks to all!

Help me Re-Negotiate

theora55 — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 16:29:00 -0800

The appraisal came in low. Buying a house with no real estate agents involved. Offer contingent on appraisal. Re-negotiation strategies needed. The appraisal is 95% of the offer price. It does not affect financing. We re-negotiated after the inspection and the seller is fixing a bunch of stuff, as well as taking 1,000 off the price. Price is 190,000, appraisal is 180,000.

Seller has dropped price consistently over 8 months. Seller may be cash-strapped. I've invested 1500 in inspections, appraisal, lawyer & financing fees. I'm in love with the view, and really ready to move.

Car noob buying used Civic, in Ontario.

kmennie — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 08:08:24 -0800

I need to buy a car, quickly. There's a used Civic I have my eye on. I have some stupid (?) questions about purchasing it. The car is a 2004 Honda Civic. I suppose the short version is "I want to buy this quickly and without hassle for less than they're asking. Got suggestions?"

Advice on negotiating with car dealers on-line is -- well, I've exhausted it.

"Check Kelley Blue Book, same model for sale on-line; use these prices as negotiating points" is standard. Getting as close as I could to what it is -- viz, in Canada, and a DX-G, apparently not sold in the States -- Blue Book C$14,862. Given that they're asking $14,720, a starting point for negotiations that is not. Much perusal of the same car for sale (on-line, in Ont) says they're asking a fair price. A friend who is VP of a car dealership says: fair price.

But, it's a car, and I'm conditioned to not just buy it at the asking price. Should I just call and say "I'll come in and buy it for $XX,XXX -- let me know?" But what's $XX,XXX, reasonably?

Possibly relevant:

It has slightly higher mileage (15k km) than comparably priced Civics elsewhere.
We want a trailer hitch. (Might they throw this in free?)
It's been on the lot since December, which seems a long time...?

The dealer has a good reputation and they were sleaze-free when we went in for a test drive. The one previous owner bought it there and brought it back to trade in; no accidents or anything of note on its record.

We'd like to be driving it by the weekend. (I know, I know, not ideal.) If "I'll take it at $XX,XXX" is indeed reasonable, how do I determine XX,XXX, and make it sound reasonable?

Finally: over the past couple of months, I have haggled down the price of a house (a lot), haggled down a mortgage rate (a lot), shopped around for the best price on insurance, got the bank to finance this car purchase, etc etc, but, since this is a car, this previous Ask leaves me wondering if Mr Kmennie shouldn't be the one negotiating. Sigh.

How do I negotiate better job terms?

Anonymous — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 21:43:47 -0800

How do I negotiate better non-salary benefits for a new job I was just offered? Specifically, I am mostly happy with salary but want to negotiate better vacation time and a better title. I was offered a poorly defined IT job at a manufacturing plant, and most of the offer seems in line with what I want, except the vacation time they are offering is horrible (5 days within the first year of service, and its paid time off, which is both your sick time and vacation time.) I was hoping for something more along the lines of 2 weeks vacation, 1 week personal, 1 week sick (or 20 PTO days). At the very least 2 weeks vacation and 1 week sick (or 15 PTO days). Further, I know an employee that currently works there and he said it is usually 15 days PTO, so this is really weird.

The other thing I am not happy with is my title, its listed on my offer letter as "Title (tentative):IT Assistant and Internet Representative. The problem they are having is trying to figure out what to call me. Originally the position was called Internet Sales Rep (even though the position involved no sales). They have no idea what to call it. To be frank, neither do I, but the title isn't what I'll be doing either. My primary function is as a graphic designer that coordinates with their distributors when they need images and web advertising materials. But because there isn't enough work (yet) to be a full time position, my secondary responsibility will be helping the IT manager do desktop and network support as needed (probably how they got the IT position in the title). So, any suggestions for a title, and any suggestions on how to approach the subject?

Some factors that might affect my ability to negotiate:
-They are treating me like I've accepted the offer already, even though I've only said that what they told me about the offer seemed like what I was looking for (vacation wasn't mentioned) but I'd need to see all the details before I decided to take the job.
-The person extending this offer has actually quit the company as of last week, but stayed on part time to help get me into the position. She also doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of it as I've been jerked around all week and they have changed my proposed start date because it too so long for her to get me an actual written offer.

How do I negotiate for a better deal?

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 21:33:10 -0800

I asked for too little during the job interview. How do I push for more if I get an offer? I work in a creative industry where people earn more prestige and more money by moving to bigger employers, and this sometimes requires big moves.

I'm one of the top-two candidates for a job 3,000 miles from where I live right now.

I currently make US$27,000. They said they wouldn't accept candidates who did not include salary requirements in their letters, so I asked for $33,000. My potential-future-boss let it drop that the budgeted salary for the job is $36,500.

I'm pretty confident that if I get it, they'll offer me $36,500. How can I successfully negotiate for more money? I'd like to try for $38,000, for the fuzzy feeling I'd get if I found myself getting a 40-percent pay boost. At the very least I'd like $37,000. I will be supporting my significant other until he finds work, so more money will matter a great deal in the short run, less in the long run.

Also, I told them that I would be able to start 30 days after accepting an offer. Now that I consider the repurcussions of giving two weeks notice, taking one week to pack up everything I own here into a van, driving it across country over five days, and then only having two days to adjust to a different city and a different climate ... it doesn't seem like enough time. Any tips on negotiating for an extra week or two?

Do we negotiate with terrorists?

MrAnonymous — Fri, 18 Jun 2004 23:37:02 -0800

Do we negotiate with terrorists? I've always believed the line that we don't negotiate with terrorists. That an American citizen may die (like Nick Berg or Paul Johnson), but we will not negotiate with their captors. Do you buy this? Is there any kind of underhanded dealing that goes on? A friend of mine insists we negotiate, but I say we don't. Have there been cases that are clear examples of one or the other?