Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with naked

Should I be a celluloid Eve?

Sova — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:24:14 -0800

Should I do a naked film? (NSFW) I was asked today to appear naked in an art film. The person who asked me is a bona fide film maker often using abandoned urban settings. I like these settings, and from his description of the project, I don't feel it would degrade or exploit my body. I don't know the film maker terribly well, but he's cool with letting me wait until I'm happy and comfortable with him, and will remove any members of his team from the shoot who I'm not happy with.

I'm very relaxed about being naked in front of others, and have done so before without issue. I'm not looking for, and nor is he offering, payment for this; and neither of us is under any impression that this film would be anything other than an art film for his portfolio and limited showing (that is, no Youtube or mass circulation). My reasons for seriously considering it are that I would like to have this experience and a memory of something interesting and exciting I did during my time at university.

So, my questions are: is there anything I'm not considering or need to set out to him before I agree? what are the risks of doing this in terms of future exposure? and has anybody else done this and found it a brilliant/terrible experience?

Where can I sunbathe naked in London?

rose selavy — Mon, 25 May 2009 02:37:38 -0800

Where can I sunbathe naked in London? I like sunbathing, but I hate tan-lines and so like to do it naked (in many countries in the rest of Europe where few people will look at you twice).

Except I live in London, and I can't for the life of me think of anywhere where I can just lie down on the grass with no clothes on, maybe read a book.. and not get arrested.

I know Hampstead Heath has/had a nude male sunbathing area but this is no use to me as I'm a woman. Please share with me any suggestions or experiences.

I could go anywhere, and then camp (we won't play William Tell)!

Capt Jingo — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:38:00 -0800

What is the tracked camper vehicle that Bill and Joan are riding in at the end of the film Naked Lunch and where can i get one?

Honey! My mom DID have a Penis poster!

Jenny is Crafty — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:00:28 -0800

My mom had a print of a painting when I was little ...I want this print for my house and peace of mind...NSFW What I remember
~at least 22 years ago, at the very minimum is when I first saw this.
~it was a print of a painting, not an actual painting
~very simple painting with seablue/green background. I think there might have been stubbly little trees, I dont remember
~it had these little square forehead naked painted peach blocky cartoonish naked troll looking men with HUGE penis's. They were outlined in black and had minimal facial features. Almost Easter Island/Mayan drawing look to the men
~it was either done in ink or watercolor, it was very even toned and smooth. Not "chunky" like an oil painting

My mom no longer remembers/denys ever having this print. She says that I am crazy and that she would never hang something so "obscene" on her walls...

But I know she had it, and can picture it up on the master bedroom wall of each of the different houses I grew up in. This can not possibly be my overactive imagination. Please help me prove a point that I am not out of my mind.

I have been googling this on an off for a few years at least. Help!

My boyfriend, the secret photographer

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:03:26 -0800

Discovered my boyfriend has been secretly (occasionally) photographing naked models going back for years. I confronted, he came clean. Why am I still upset? (poss NSFW) (Apologies for the length, it turns out I'm another of those self-obsessed people who posts reams in relationship questions.)

Well, I guess I deserved the shock I got when I was poking around on his computer. (I know, shame on me, I have told him and apologised for this.) I found several folders of photos documenting photo sessions lasting 1 or 2 hours with scantily clad, topless or naked women. I did not find very many sessions (about half a dozen) but the dates went back to four years ago, a year after we started dating.

It was obviously his photography: these sessions seemed to mostly take place at his parents' house, which he visits as a base for 1-day business trips in his home town every fortnight. Two recent sessions were in our new house which we moved into in August. The photos were at first taken with his camera, then with my (better) camera which he borrowed. Most of the photos were just poses of the women in various states of undress (occasionally fully clothed), in different rooms etc. Some were very explicit, eg. shots of one naked woman eating half a strawberry then dribbling the juice over her (close-up) vagina. There is no suggestion of any kind of sexual contact with the women, nor do I believe this to be true.

We have been together for five years, since I was 18, and have lived together for three. We are a close couple and spend most of our time together. This is compounded by the fact that neither of us are very outgoing and we don't have much of a social network. We spend a lot of weekends at home together. He probably has more close friends than I do, but pretty much 100% of them are online-only friends. He works from home as well, so doesn't have any workmates either. I know this is sometimes frustrating for him and he'd like to have more contact with people.

I was quite shocked when I first found the photos - partly because of the subject matter, but the real punch to the gut was that he had kept this completely from me, for years, and I never suspected anything. I don't want to be the nagging girlfriend who lays down the law and stops him from doing the few things he wants to do. I also feel guilty for his lack of social network because he hasn't been very happy since moving away from his home town, and somewhat blames me for dragging him away from there (first for university, then for my work). He has his own internet business which is fairly easy to run from whatever location, but 90% of his clients are still in his home town (2.5 hours away) and he hasn't found any local ones.

I tried to sort out how I felt and concluded that it wasn't the subject matter but the secrecy that bothered me. (Btw, I also found some porn on his computer that I didn't know about. Don't care.) When he came home I gently confronted him. He seemed quite unruffled (not the reaction I was expecting) and explained that he's always had an interest in that kind of thing, but has always kept it quite discreet because of not wanting it to intrude at all on his professional life. He said that it was a weird thing to bring up when we first started dating (and it would have been, with me having been quite a naive 18 year old) and then the longer he left it the weirder it would have seemed to bring it up. I get that. He also said that he's used to compartmentalising his life, and that with us living "on top of each other" a lot of the time he kind of liked having some part of his life that he didn't have to share, that he had control over, and that everybody didn't know about.

He also said he assumed I wouldn't be bothered by the subject matter because we both have fairly liberal attitudes when it comes to sex, and that I probably recognised that there's a professional boundary in photography, ie. thinking of the subject as an artistic object rather than a naked woman in front of you. He explained that he knows these models from an online photography network he frequents. Some of them are paid, some of them do it for fun.

He agreed, after I asked, that in future he would tell me about it whenever he does this, and that if it did bother me that it would be no great loss to stop doing it. I told him it was okay as long as I know about it, but now I'm not sure if it is.

Right now I feel deeply weirded out, but that it's my problem and I'll get over it. The thing is that the more I reflect on it the more uncomfortable and prudish I feel. I dislike the fact that my boyfriend has been interacting at all with (half-)naked women while he or I am away, even though intellectually I think he's separated it in his mind from thoughts of me, and it's not a sexual situation for him. I am getting all insecure over whether he would prefer it if I looked like they do. I feel that this isn't a big deal for him, and therefore it shouldn't be for me either.

So how much am I obsessing? (Quite a lot, given the length of this post.) Does this have any larger implications for our relationship, or how he thinks of me? Am I being irrational? How much upset is justified, and how much due to the sheltered world I live in (which I therefore should get over)?

Throwaway email: boyfriend.secret.photographer@googlemail.com

Can drinking Naked Juice replace eating fruit?

nitsuj — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:04:43 -0800

Can drinking Naked Juice replace eating fruit? I like eating fruit, but I enjoy Naked Juice just as much and it stays in my fridge longer.

Does Naked Juice really have all that fruit in it? The labels say something like, "this has 2 apples, 24 blueberries and 3 bananas in it." So is drinking one bottle the dietary equivalent of eating all of that? Because $2.50 for a bottle is a lot less expensive than buying all that fruit. What's the catch?

Non-Pornographic Neutrally Posed Naked Men?

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:10:25 -0800

I am looking for non-pornographic nude photographs of men, neutral pose, front and side views, but the signal v. noise ratio has prevented me from turning anything up. Ideally, there would be photographs of men at differing ages, of differing body types, and of differing nationalities. I have tried using Google, and I have looked at "art" books of photographs; with both, I've not been able to find anything that isn't erotica targeted towards gay men. The purpose for which I'm seeking this is similar to the author's purpose for this book.

Do you remember a picture of a naked melting person?

sergeant sandwich — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:29:55 -0800

I'm looking for back story on a somewhat disturbing photograph which was circulating around the internet around 10-15 years ago. Trouble is, I no longer have a copy of the file, and can't find it. The photo in question was an internet meme from back before they were called that. It could best be described as "face-down naked melting woman". I say melting because.. well, that's what it looked like. A big puddle of skin, with feet; sort of like what you'd get if people were made of wax and one was made to lie face down in the sun.

The melting person (who for some reason, we thought was a woman, but it was hard to tell) was completely naked, face down in the middle of what I recall to be a city street, possibly cobblestone. It was daylight, and the photo was taken from behind at what looked like about a distance of 40-50 feet. We called her Melta.

Does this ring a bell for anyone? I've been searching the internets high and low for a copy of the picture, with every possible combination of search terms I can think of, and I've crawled up and down sites like rotten.com and ogrish until I couldn't take it anymore. Not for the lulz, but because for nearly half my life now, I've been absolutely mystified by the origin of this photo. I need some sort of explanation.

Our best guess was that it was a photograph of a suicide jumper who had been overweight and the impact was so violent that the flesh liquefied and spread out like a puddle.

But I don't think flesh does that in reality, and there was absolutely no split skin, no blood or gore or anything at all, no cops standing around, no rubberneckers gawking, in fact nobody else in the picture at all. No other visual clues that would be indicative of a suicide scene. And why would they be completely naked? It just.. it didn't look like a suicide to me, and this explanation never quite held water for me.

The only other conceivable explanation for this picture is that a person who had recently lost a great deal of weight, and therefore had very loose skin, was running down the street buck naked and tripped and fell on their face. But then this is weird enough as it is.

Anyway, I'm hoping someone at least remembers this picture. Better yet would be a link to it somewhere. But what I'm really looking for here is to learn Melta's story. If you can help me scratch this fifteen-year itch, I will be forever grateful.

Toddler nudity: how much is too much?

crazycanuck — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:24:10 -0800

Toddler nudity: how much is too much? Where it is appropriate for toddlers (say a 1-2 year old) to go naked in the suburban US? Anywhere indoors in your home is a no-brainer. How about the following:
1. In your backyard (relatively private)
2. In your front yard (dead end street, 3 houses in area)
3. Walking down the driveway, in front of 5 other houses
4. Wading in the lake, with 20-30 strangers (mostly parents with kids) around

Scrub-a-dub-dub, the boys came out of the tub

curagea — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:40:51 -0800

OldCommercialFilter: Taiwanese soap commercial - help me find a video on the tubes! When I was five and vacationing in Taiwan in the early 90's, I saw a soap commercial where a group of boys and grown men, all naked (thankfully, with their backs to the camera), scrub their butts with their towels and dance while singing:

"Loo lala loo lala loolaloolalay
Loola loo la loo la loolaloolalay
Loo lala loo lala loolaloolalay
Loola loo la loo la LAAAYYY!"

(Yeah, imagine my five-year-old expression when I saw this)

I kind of found the lyrics to the song unintentionally, but what I really want is the commercial itself. Unfortunately, I forgot what soap brand it was. So, Taiwanese MeFites, help me identify the soap and find a video (if possible) so I can flip my brother out. Yeah, he remembers the commercial too.

naked man

Etta Hollis — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:34:52 -0800

Naked male neighbor strutting his stuff in plain view. What should I do? Two weeks ago while eating dinner in our front room we noticed out our LARGE front window that the middle-aged neighbor across the street was standing naked in his window. We laughed. He noticed us laughing and proceeded to strut his stuff all around his house. It was after dark, so we could clearly see things.

We turned off our lights, thinking that might deter him, but no, he turned on the porch light and strutted his naked self all around his front porch. This made it turn from funny to gross and disturbing.

Tonight, he again stood naked in front of a window in his home while we were eating dinner (thus we were in the front room, able to view him through our huge front window). I was the only one home and semi-creeped out so I quickly shut the windows and blinds. He promptly turned off his lights.

He is probably 40 with a wife/girlfriend and very young child. Everyone in my house is 21 and female and have not given him any reason to strut his stuff.

I see the possibility of a trend. Any thoughts from the hive on actions to take, if any?

Who said you can tell how someone was loved by seeing someone them walk in the nuddy?

Rc — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:34:59 -0800

Quote filter: Who was it that said something to the effect of "you can tell by the way he walks that he was loved as a child" of a naked chap? I have a vague recollection of reading this some time ago. Possibly related to Ancient Rome; though I am not sure about that.

Not much to go on, but I've seen the hive mind succeed on less!

Naked things to do without sex?

The_Partridge_Family — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:16:52 -0800

What naked games or exercises can I play with my partner that are intimate, loving and/ or fun but don't necessarily involve sex? I don't really want our sex life to be just about sex (as it is at the moment) - I want to learn about my partner and deepen that aspect of our relationship. I know people play with blindfolds and feathers and sitting naked opposite each other, but I think it'd be easier for me (and my partner) if these things were wrapped up in a game or activity.

What's your favorites? Or maybe you don't know of any, but you can share some that you've heard friends talk of...?

What do I wear under the salon robe?

unknowncommand — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:18:25 -0800

What do I wear under the cape/robe at the fancy hair salon? I grew up going to Supercuts, where they just velcro the sucker on you. Then I went to a place that had fancy robe/capes, but there was never anyone else there, so it didn't even occur to me to change(?), and I just put it on over my clothes.

This evening, I have a haircut at a fancy AND popular place. Last time, there was a weird closet, and places to leave your clothes and maybe there was a lady you were supposed to tip? And you get your robe from her? And all the other women in the salon are wearing these robes, and obviously you can't tell what to wear underneath because they're wearing robes. They look...naked. But that's weird, right?

What do I do? I tried to do what someone else did, last time, but I felt awkward just staring at her, waiting to see how far she stripped down. And it's similarly awkward to say to the robe girl, "Do I just get naked, or what?" And if I do have to deal with the robe girl, how much do I tip her?

I suppose I could just wear it over my clothes, but I'm curious anyway. I feel like I'm Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" and it's scary.

Where's the best place to skinnydip in Oahu?

unknowncommand — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:22:25 -0800

Where's the best place to skinnydip in Oahu? I want to be naked in the ocean when I turn 30 (in two weeks!). I will be in Honolulu, and I will have access to my friend's car. Where do I go? I've never been to Hawaii, and the travel guides seem to omit this information.

Bare Dementia

nlindstrom — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 15:18:36 -0800

A young woman suddenly starts shouting, and tearing at her clothing. Moments later, she is stark naked and dancing all over the sidewalk right in front of my house. Why? She was a young, good-looking lass in her early twenties, clean, dressed nicely, with curly brown hair. Her clothing was clean and neat, and there was nothing about her to suggest that she was a street person.

But in the blink of an eye, she went front standing sedately at the bus stop to shouting and yelping, plucking at her clothing and flinging it away as though it were full of angry bees. She quickly stripped down to just her bra and panties, flinging her shoes and clothing in the gutter, and danced around while slapping at her arms and legs. A moment later she tore off her bra and then her panties. It was quite clear by this point that there were no actual bugs on her; she was very clean and completely shaved from the neck down, a fact that was now on full display.

Throughout this latter stage I noticed several curious things: first, as she yelled she tended to thrust out her jaw and glare angrily about herself. Also, despite being completely naked on the corner of a busy San Francisco street, she kept one arm resolutely clamped across her full bosom. Despite whatever was going on, she retained an odd sense of decency -- odd when you consider her unwillingness to expose her breasts, yet at the same time she was kicking her legs high in the air. This last sense of modesty went by the wayside soon enough, as her leaping about quickly escalated into arm waving. She was sweating profusely, her nipples were hard, and loudly shouting while tears streamed down her face.

It took three cops and two paramedics to get her strapped down on a gurney, and even then, she fought on, throwing off a blanket they covered her with and if not for the paramedic’s hands, pounding her head on the gurney.

I've never before seen anything so sad in all my years of living in San Francisco, and a bit of Googling yielded nothing as to why she did all this. What possible causes are there for her actions?

usb flashdrive thingie naked

signal — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 16:45:18 -0800

My spiffy little USB flashdrive thingy is coming apart, coming loose from its plastic casing. The metal parallelepiped inside is easier to slip into my wallet and looks cooler, IMO, but I'm wondering what sort of damage all the plastic protected it from. Question:¿will it harm my USB flashdrive thingy to go about naked in the world?

What the fudge just happened to me?

sjvilla79 — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 12:43:17 -0800

This is quite possibly the strangest thing that I've ever done in my short adult life. I'm really quite stunned as to what just occurred because it seems so out of character for me. I know I'm not still dreaming. Yeah, I'm fairly sure of that. But anyway, what the heck happened only a few moments ago? And where to begin? Please, read on. Nothing too freaky inside. Promise! Well, friends, this is one of those stories that you might find difficult to believe. All I can do though is best backtrack the situation from when I went to bed last night (early this morning). Yeah, I think it was about 3:00 AM. First, I popped one Murelax tablet to take the edge off the dozing off process. That kicked in by 3:15 AM and I was out like a light. Happy days. Obviously all was okay up until sometime between then and now. I'll take a guess and say it was about 5:30 AM when things started getting weird. And the weirdness? Well, without warning I found myself outside of my apartment walking around the complex completely naked. Yes, I was aware of my nakedness and had covered my genitals with my hand (didn't want to shock anyone unexpectedly). It still felt surreal though. It was like I was still dreaming and that I had control over the dream. You know that feeling you get when you think you can wake up and it'll all be over? Um, well that ultimately didn't happen for me. For example, soon I realised that I was locked out of my apartment, half pilled up and very groggy, and had no way back in to my unit (keys were locked inside). This is when I quietly started to panic. It was real. I'd actually done what I thought could never happen (e.g. lose complete control over my conscious self and essentially sleepwalk into an unsavoury situation.) You can't begin to imagine this feeling (maybe some of you can unfortunately). Anyway, I figured I must get back in to my apartment at all costs. It was lucky too that at 6 AM in the morning not many people were around. I think the garbage man saw me though. Perhaps I made his day. Oh well. Whatever.

And the upshot? Yes, obviously things worked out because I'm back inside typing this post to MetaFilter. I ended up forcing the flywire from my bedroom window and splitting the mesh just enough for my waistline to get through (about a 15" gap give or take an inch or two). Sure, I fudged up the window and it'll need to be repaired. That's the least of my worries though. I am just more concerned about something like this happening again. I mean given that I live by myself and nobody is sharing my bed with me at the moment, well, should I expect more naked expeditions into the night? This has seriously screwed with my head though. Feel free to mock but also recognise something mega weird just happened to me. Again, this is a first (never sleepwalked before). But hell yeah I'm hoping it will be a last.

Lastly, I am not mental either. And I mean that in a good, medical way related to this post. I have also taken these pills previously and gone to sleep without the sleepwalking issue being a problem. This thing seriously has me scratching my head (and other parts given the hour right now) though. Um, what's the online version of pinch me?

Don't all schools require bathing suits?

archimago — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 11:57:29 -0800

Two of my male coworkers who grew up in the 50s/60s have related stories of being made to swim naked during gym classes in school (one from private, one from public schools). Am I the bizarre one to find this completely bizarre? Is this a regional thing?