Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with moving

The job offer, the boyfriend, and the dilemma

Anonymous — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:18:07 -0800

I'm considering a great job offer in another state, and what it might mean for my two-year relationship. Help me develop a framework for making some decisions about all this. For the past two years, I've been dating a great guy. He's the sweetest man I've ever met, would do anything for me, and if I asked him to marry me tomorrow (and if it were legal; I'm also a guy), he would in a heartbeat.

Last week, I was offered a stellar job in DC (I live in Minnesota). Without my partner in the picture, I'm 95% sure I would accept the job without hesitation. It's a great fit for my skills, I love the organization, I really like the team I'd be working with and the fellow I'd be working for, I love the project I'd be helping to lead, etc. I'm currently an independent contractor, making a nice living working remotely (and temporarily) for a company in Florida. I've turned down a number of jobs while carefully considering my next step, but this feels like the right one. I'll miss Minnesota, but wouldn't mind being back on the East Coast, close to many friends and closer to family.

My partner was let go from his job earlier this year, partly because he spent too much time visiting me while I worked in another state for nine months. When I returned to Minnesota this past summer, we discussed living together, but I told him I wasn't ready. Now, he'd have absolutely no hesitation about moving with me to DC, but I still have concerns.

I'm the coldly rational guy in the relationship; he's the warm, emotional one. This is the longest, deepest relationship I've ever been in (we're both 29).* He's had one other significant relationship, and it ended badly a while after he dropped out of college to move with his lover across the country. I try not to view this last fact as foreshadowing, especially considering he's just restarted college (a distance education program, unaffected by the move).

Like any relationship, ours has highs and lows, and I have no idea which will outweigh which in the years to come. I love him. I still don't know (and I'm not sure I ever will) if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has depression, which he takes medication for, and which I've come to learn a lot about. Till now, I've been able to take our relationship a day at a time. This job offer changes that situation.

One of the reasons I hesitated to move in together previously was concern over our widely asymmetrical financial situations. I wanted to be sure he retained his financial independence in case things didn't work out. Another reason is that I really value my own space. I've never lived with a boyfriend before, and I've also never had a bad breakup - I tend to find a correlation there. On some level, I might be a classic commitment-phobe, but I think that phobia's expressed itself in mostly healthy, prudent ways.

The prospect of moving across the country together really ups the ante. We'd have to live together, and my salary would have to cover most of the [significantly higher] cost of living, at least until he finds a job. He'd be dependent on me, to a degree, and economically (as well as emotionally) devastated if "things didn't work out." But I think the pressures of cohabitation in a place where he has no job and no friends would be a difficult test for our relationship, especially with such high stakes.

If I decline a terrific offer, mostly to stay here with him, I worry that decision would have other portents for our relationship. I worry that I wouldn't be able to avoid projecting onto him some of my regret at passing on a great opportunity, the way I suspect he secretly projects onto his ex his decision to drop out of college. I also worry that after my contract work ends, the only local opportunities I'd find would be significantly inferior to the DC gig. Every job offer I've turned down so far has been in a different state, and I fear my career will force my hand sooner rather than later.

I don't think it would be feasible for us to date long-distance again. We had the leisure of visiting each other at least once a month during my 9-month sojourn. But now, I'd be strapped for time, and he'd be strapped for cash, making visits problematic. Working remotely in the new job isn't an option.

I have a great career, which is important to me, although I'm definitely not a workaholic. I don't think the calculus here is quite as simple as whether my career or my relationship comes first. I need some advice on how to talk about this with my partner, guidance on what factors I should take into consideration, thoughts on what options are available, and questions that might broaden or focus my thinking.

Thanks for reading this, and thanks in advance for your insights.

* If you watch How I Met Your Mother, you'd call me Robin, and him Marshall (in fact, just like Robin, I'm from Canada, and just like Marshall, he's from Minnesota).

Should I let my housemate know where he stands?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:50:20 -0800

Knowing that two of my housemates plan to leave the third one high and dry, while he has no idea about it, do I tell him? Or is this a breach of trust to them? I've been sharing a house with four friends for about a year and a half this christmas. Three of them already lived together (and had been for some time) and one moved in after me. For the first year or so, we all got on really well, but lately things have started getting really strained. One of the housemates who I get on particularly well with is moving out of the country in the next few months, and two housemates who've been living together for about five years have really soured in their feelings to one another, they argue about stupid things, bitch about one another constantly, and pick at one another for no good reason, but at the same time they're officially best friends.

I've been thinking about moving out when our contract is up for a while, and a few days ago I started making arrangements with other people about somewhere to live next year, having started this, and not wanting to leave my housemates with an empty room, a bump in rent, and no warning, I mentioned to one of the housemates who are always fighting that I was unlikely to renew my contract the next year. It was at this point that he told me he was planning on moving away from his best friend with our other housemate at the same time.

Considering how much their relationship has soured, I think this is a great idea, and I think it'll do them both good to get away from one another. At the same time, however, in talking to him it became obvious to me just how much of this has already been planned, they've looked at houses, debating moving early and sticking my other housemate and I with the remainder of the contract and rent there's no way we'll be able to pay, and honestly the way he was talking about it came across to me as that he just wanted to put our other housemate in a position where he won't have the time to organize something else that he can afford and will be forced to go home and live with his parents, since right now he's only living off housing benefits and a small amount of money he earns singing every week.

Again, I think our other housemate probably should go home to his parents, It's probably the sensible thing for him to do, but I don't think that it's right for him to have his hand forced because someone who's supposed to be his best friend doesn't approve of his lifestyle.

I've mentioned to this housemate that I'm moving away at the end of the year, and hinted that with our other friend going to America, it's possible he should think about his options and what he'll do next year, but he dismissed the question without any doubt at all, he's certain that there'll still be three people in the house because he believes his best friend to be too apathetic to actually move anywhere else.

Despite the fact that recently both of these guys and their issues have really been driving me nuts, we are still friends, and I really don't want to see either of them get fucked over here. On the one hand, I don't want to sell out the one who wants to leave, because he's got a lot of legitimate issues with the other guy, and I DO think they should get away from each other for a bit, but on the other hand? I'm concerned that his existing resentment means that he'll be a real prick about all of this, and will either try to use it as a way of hurting the other guy emotionally, or forcing him to do what he thinks he should do with his life, by leaving it too late to give him a chance to find other housemates or a cheaper place to live. Is it even my place to say anything? I mean, he knows that some people are leaving, I've not been at all secretive about what I want to do next year, and while we are friends, his history with this other guy predates that by a LOT.

Any advice on this would be welcome. I'm really pretty stressed out about this.

How do I adjust from sunny LA to freezing cold Virginia?

invisible ink — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:30:15 -0800

Have you ever moved from a warm, mild climate like Los Angeles, to one that experiences four seasons - and did you do so in the dead of winter? What was it like? What do you wish you had known beforehand? In other words, what am I, a native Angeleno currently taking for granted? A compelling job offer has me seriously considering moving from Los Angeles to Arlington, VA. I will most likely be relocating mid-January 2010. Unfortunately, I have never lived in a four-season climate, much less moved myself and all of my belongings to one.

I found this thread, but am hoping more LA transplants can respond.

Long, diverse, rambling responses are most welcome - I really want to know the kind of impact a rapid shift in climate can make in peoples' lives. Thanks in advance:-)

moving to san francisco

bananaskin — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 11:09:34 -0800

Is there anyone who has experience living in San Francisco and can give me advice about moving there? I live in rural midwest. I have dreamed of moving to San Francisco, CA for several years. I am sure I could find a decent paying job there, as my job is in high demand.

I am a single middle aged woman. No children. I have to do this all alone. I have no one to help me, and I am a little fearful/anxious about making such a big move, making a mistake and moving to a place I may not know is a dangerous area.

My questions are:
1. How much would rent be on a house/apartment? I want a decent sized apartment (not a studio).
2. What are safe areas to live, and dangerous areas for a single woman?
3. How do I research an area to find out if it is safe/crime or not?
4. What are the fun things to do there....cultural, musical, food, etc. and where?
Thank you everyone.

How does one move across the country smartly?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:24:24 -0800

I'm moving to Boston from San Diego in a year, but I don't know a soul there, nor do I know how to get the important stuff (job, apartment) set up from so far away. Questions follow. The last time I moved across the country like this was a decade ago, and I had friends on the other side who pulled some strings to get me a job and also had a room I could rent. I won't have that luxury this time. What I do have is experience as a creative director and graphic designer, some money saved, and a decade's worth of stuff to move... which is all way more than I had ten years ago. But this part I still don't know how to do....

1) What's the best way to find employment from across the country? And how soon does it make sense to start that process? I'll be able to live for several months without income if I have to by that time, and I can freelance for a while, but I'd breathe easier knowing I had a job lined up before I hit the road.

2) How the hell do I arrange for an apartment? I can pick one out and visit it, but I wonder how the application process is going to go. My credit is good (but not perfect). I'll be working at my current job right up until I move... but that will mean that my proof of income is all from a job across the country... a job I'm leaving. Does that matter?

I know that people do this sort of thing all the time, and I've done some Googling around, but this is very scary to me, and I don't know where to start!

Throaway email if needed: bostonorbustithink@gmail.com

Help a Portland Oregonian expatriate to Washington, DC

Skwirl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:33:36 -0800

I'm moving to Washington, DC for a new job that is a huge step up for me. I'd like to have a studio apartment lined up for January 1st and I will have a week to intensively look for a place before my job starts on Dec. 21st. What are some neighborhoods, tips and resources what would be helpful for me to find my perfect place in such a short turn around? My main goal is super convenient car-free living and commuting. My sensible ceiling for rent is about $1200. I could comfortably go decently higher, but I'm also used to spartan living and could go lower. I prefer small living spaces. Heck, I miss dorm life. My highest priority, after safety, is a sensible commute. I don't drive and in the past I've happily mixed and matched bus, light rail and bicycle commutes at my daily whimsy. My dream situation would be to be able to walk to as many day-to-day necessities as possible. My office is a stone's throw from the Teasury (Nearest Metro lines: Blue, Orange and Red) so I dunno how realistic walking to work would be but my other dreamy dream would be to have many of the daily essentials within walking-biking distance. (Can I have a Trader Joes and a neighborhood hippy co-op as my neighbors? And a Target? Kthnxbye...)

Other considerations:
* There will probably be times where I'm biking or walking home at 2 am and I want to be reasonably safe from intimidation and violence. I don't particularly care about other urban issues or inconveniences.

* I significantly prefer greenspaces and multi-use paths over nightlife, but I would utilize both.

* I've been browsing rent.com, housingmaps.com and apartments.com. I've only rented from craigslist-y individuals in the past and I've had only good experiences but I have found those situations wanting in professionalism sometimes and I would prefer a good property management company.

* I will be buying all new (or new to me) furniture. Pre-furnished apartment? Even better. (Think: Dorm but with a kitchen.)

* I understand the cost-of-living sticker shock. I've crunched the numbers and I'm still sooooper psyched. But, if there's a significant tax difference between MD, DC and VA, I'd want to know more.

* Obviously proximity to Metro stops is pretty coveted, but I think all I care about is minutes spent commuting so if I could beat the market with a good bus route and bicycling, I'm all ears.

* Where should I avoid?

My plan is to stay at the HI hostel and/or Priceline hotels and/or couch surf while I'm looking for a place if I don't meet my January 1st goal. Most of my stuff will be shipped at a later date at my leisure.

Advice about moving to Montreal for artists

cotesdurhone — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:21:39 -0800

Advice about moving to Montreal (for artists)? I've decided I want to move to Montreal. I've been doing a lot of research, including looking through old Metafilter posts, but do not have a clear sense yet of what my chances are or the best channels to pursue.

Please help me find out:
-- Whether I stand a chance (only reasonable, empirically-based responses, please)
-- And, if yes, suggestions on how to best go about it

Some pertinent information:

I am 30, a writer (of literature), live in Boston. Was educated at a 'good liberal arts college,' and had a semester at Oxford studying creative writing.

My English is excellent, and I also have a high level of fluency in Russian. I do not speak French, but if I had the opportunity to move to Montreal, would straightway try to take the French classes sponsored by the government.

(By the way, does anyone have any information about this?-- Apparently, the Quebec government, in order to 'Francify' new residents and improve their chances of finding employment, will provide them with free French classes and a living stipend while taking them. One person seemed to indicate that they could be arranged as part of the Visa process, but, as I research, the catch-22 seems to be that one needs to obtain a Visa beforehand.)

For the last five years or so, I've been working part-time at office manager-type jobs while simultaneously working on my writing. I have also made money occasionally as a freelance editor, Russian translator, and illustrator (though no official degrees to prove I have these skills).

In Montreal, my plan would be to continue working part-time, also possibly freelancing in editing and illustration, and working on my writings the rest of the time.

I was thinking that, if it would be helpful and possible-- which it probably isn't--, I could also provide a 'resume' and attachments of publications and writings as a sort of appendix to the Visa application.

For more specific information, please see a previous post.
(Yes, I realize they are similar-- but this is one is specifically about Montreal.)

Thanks!

Awesome movers, short notice, Greenpoint, Brooklyn? Recommendations?

nebulawindphone — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:59:18 -0800

Help me send my extra-stressed far-off girlfriend some extra-nice movers on short notice. (This coming Tuesday! Ack!) 1 bedroom apartment w/furniture, fourth floor walkup, Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Everything's packed, the truck's already rented, and she has friends to help her unload at the other end, but she needs help loading. For any future ask-ers who stumble across this question: Rabbit Movers are totally awesome, have come through for the GF in the past, and we can't recommend them enough — but I screwed up and called too late, and they're busy that day. Dang.

Current answer-ers: I mean it when I say extra-nice. First off, my girlfriend's pretty intensely stressed out about the move; and second, I'm about to send a bunch of strange men into her apartment, which is not exactly a soothing experience under the best of circumstances. It would really mean a lot to have some independent confirmation from a real person that these guys are friendly and not-sketchy and good at what they do.

I want boxes for my CDs

nowonmai — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:30:23 -0800

What's a good source of some kind of boxes for carting around large numbers of CDs (1000+) in their jewel cases? I will be moving my CD collection around a lot in the near future, and am having trouble finding good boxes to pack them up. I need some kind of boxes the right size to hold CDs, in their jewel cases, roughly the size of the sort of moving boxes you'd pack books in, but I haven't been able to find a source of boxes a good size to pack the CDs in efficiently without gaps. Does anybody know of a source of convenient boxes, or indeed purpose designed boxes? Google will only help me find mailers for single CDs or storage solutions for CDs without cases. I have around 500 or 600 CDs where I am now, and then I'll likelypick up a similar number in a few months.
I am in NYC.
Ripping them all to HD and flogging them is not a option.

Getting a Job in Capitol Hill Seattle, Where To Live

Gideon — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:44:07 -0800

I might be getting a job in Seattle soon, the job being located near Lakeview Cemetery. I'm going to be apartment hunting from a distance so I won't be able to really check things out in advance. Help me find a place to live. Here's the thing:
-I'd like to not spend too much more than around 800 a month in rent.
-I'd like to be in a fairly safe place.
-I don't need much space, I'm thinking a studio in the 600sq ft realm.
-I'd like to live someplace 'interesting' with grocery stores, restaurants within walking distance, fun stuff.. (I'm a single 30 year old)
-I'd like to be able to walk to work. This is a "would be nice, not necessary" the other things are more important assuming I can get there fairly quickly via public transportation.

What parts of town should I be looking? Places to avoid? What sort of things should I be looking for (both good and bad) when looking at apartments? I'm in the midwest so all of our apartments are about 10 years old, most the ones I've seen in Seattle tend to be around 100 - I'm just not sure what I need to be wary of. Any good sources to get the lowdown about a potential place?

Thanks for the help!

Propitious places to move to & unusual living situations for having 3 or 4 days a week free to work on personal project

cotesdurhone — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:39:38 -0800

I'm working on a project that requires at least 3 or 4 full days attention each week. What are some places in the US or world I could move to, &/or unusual living situations, that would give me a good chance of doing this? Other considerations:

• Part-time job terminating Jan 1, and definitely want to move elsewhere (currently live in Boston)
• Have $5000 savings. Will probably also be able to continue receiving unemployment (about $1,000 month) if I move out of state (but not country, obviously)

• Age 30. US Citizen.
• Languages: English, Russian
• Skills: Writing and editing, visual art, Russian translation (but no graduate-level degrees to show this)
• BA from Liberal Arts college + semester (2 terms) at Oxford

Any and all reasonable options considered.

• Preferred urban environment: vibrant arts scene, inspiring architecture, not overrun with college students or sports fanatics, ethnically and age-ally diverse
• 'Ideal' destinations: Montreal, France
• Hypothetical order of preference: 1. Montreal & France (tie) 2. EU, Scandinavia, & Turkey 3. Eastern Europe 4. USA & Canada 5. South America 6. Asia 7. Australia/New Zealand 8. other

• Preferred rural environment: the more (interesting) people around, the better

• "unusual living situations" = housesitting - caretaking - living in some cabin - (earnest) meditative community - collective farm - kibbutz - teaching abroad - or anything else

• If it's helpful to know— the project is of a literary nature (a novel and other writings)

Finally, what are the very best resources (books, websites, magazines, etc) that might be of help?

Prescription to Move.

beautifulcheese — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:02:42 -0800

Canada Filter: I live on Vancouver Island, BC. We just had 180mm of rain in a day and a bit. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. The two do not mix. Where should I move? I also struggle with depression the rest of the year so there really seems to be no respite. Today my psychiatrist recommended that I should think about moving somewhere else for the long run. It is getting harder and harder to get through each fall/winter.

So where should I move? I need to stay in Canada simply because I love my country. I'd like it to be sunny but not too hot in the summer (nothing above 27-30C on average). I don't like the cold or snow but I suppose I could adapt. It just isn't something I have ever experienced and it frightens me.

It feels like I am in the mildest climate of Canada already and I prefer that. I just need sun added in. I would settle for less gray and not constant rain.

So suggestions? Favourite places? Experiences of places where you felt the weather lift your mood?

How do I, a (possibly promising) writer of literature, given X circumstances, escape the Boston area to a location/ situation conducive to writing— either abroad, or elsewhere in the US?

cotesdurhone — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:30:41 -0800

Creative suggestions for a (possibly promising) writer of literature, given X circumstances, to escape the Boston area to a location/ situation conducive to writing— either abroad, or elsewhere in the US. Responses from international (non-US) MeFites encouraged. Here is the situation. I'm a writer of prose, poetry, and philosophy. [footnote 1] I moved to the Boston area about four years ago from NYC, partly for a change of pace, and mainly for an agreeable environment where I could work as little as possible in order to study and write as much as possible (not feasible in NYC due to high costs and constrictive living conditions).

Since moving to the Boston area, however, I have, for reasons beyond the scope of this posting, become progressively dissatisfied with it. Reductively: I find it aloof, un-inspirational, out of tune with my sensibilities. My family lives in the area, and they exert too strong an influence on me. For the last few years, living here, in spite of myself, has felt consistently bleak, sterile, depressing, slowly eroding my inspiration and health, with little or no prospects for improvement.

Last week, I found out that the organization I work for part-time (3 days/week) lost a lot of money due to the recession, and I'm to be laid off starting January 1st. I very much would like to move to another locale more in tune with my sensibilities. However, my circumstances— including the conditions I require to write— are particularly involved and challenging:

• Recently turned 30
• Languages: English; Russian (spoken very good, written poor due to disuse)
• US Citizen (US passport). All living family also US citizens
• BA (Bachelor's degree). Am 'highly skilled' (as VISA diction goes) in a number of areas— writing and editing of all varieties, visual art, Russian translation— but no official degrees to prove it
• Since I work part-time, am scarcely able to save money. Have about $5,000 (US dollar) in savings
• Will be receiving small monthly Unemployment wage (around $1,000); not sure whether I would lose this wage were I to move out of state; need to research this further

• Cannot take a full-time job for some period to shore up a significant amount of money to use to move; this precludes writing, and I must— which is to say, I'm compelled to— write regularly
• Need, at minimum, 3 full days a week to myself to be able to study/ write to marginally adequate effect. Four days, to sufficient effect. [footnote 2]

• Misgiving I: I have a bit of an unintentionally 'eccentric' demeanor, and I worry that this complicates finding employment in a timely fashion
• Misgiving II: I worry that I'll move somewhere, not be able to find a job, and run out of money. Or— will only be able to find work so time consuming that I won't have the minimal amount of time and freedom I require for writing. But, inevitably, such are the risks.

I'm seeking suggestions for:
(1) A place to move to (country, city, town, etc)/ particular situation that: (a) is more in tune with my sensibilities; (b) provides a good chance of finding sufficient time to write, either because of a strong likelihood of finding sustainable part-time work, or otherwise.
(2) And how, logistically, one would be able to move to said place/ enter said situation.
(2a) For instance, countries/ cities where it is relatively easy to circumvent VISA restrictions (I've heard that in some Portuguese cities, for instance, there are sizable communities of expatriates who tacitly reside illegally relatively untroubled), or in general with laxer VISA restrictions.
(2b) Esoteric situations— such as house-sitting, or caretaking, or living in some cabin, or in a (genuinely truth-seeking) meditative community, or a collective farm, etc, or teaching abroad, or finding a wealthy benefactor in the tradition of the 'patrons' of yore whom I could dedicate my work to in exchange for marginal funding, or some other fantastic situation I'm unaware of, so long as I'd have at least three days to study/ write.
(3) Best resources to help with aforementioned. Books, websites, etc. I've gleaned a short list from MetaFilter and other sites, which I've pasted below [footnote 3], but don't know which are best, and suspect there are more.

The possibilities of where I can go, of what I can do so are open-ended— yet the restrictions very intricate— that it's difficult to provide enough information about where and to what my intuition gravitates. I'll try my best.

What do I mean by "in tune with my sensibilities"?—

Cities, large towns, and more populous environments

The city, large town (or possibly remoter area) I envision has:
a. Culture, arts, architecture
b. Respect for and some degree of genuine understanding of the arts
c. Not suffused with ambition for materialistic success— wealth, consumerism, practical career, 'fame for its own sake,' etc
d. Fairly ethnically diverse
e. A fair amount of people between the ages of 20 and 40
f. Not overrun with university students— or at least they aren't salient, and blend in with the other elements
g. Sports spectatorship not the primary or sole cultural occupation, and blends in with other elements

The ideal would be to move to a foreign city, work part-time, and work on art the rest of the time— like so many writers and artists did in the first half of the 20th century. For a long time, I've wanted to move to France, or, maybe strangely, Montreal. I've visited both, Montreal numerously, and, acknowledging their differences and downsides, love both about equally. The latter would probably be easier to access. (I guess one doesn't move to Montreal after, say, Paris. Perhaps moving to Paris is like 'moving up'; one doesn't ‘go back.’) In truth, I'd probably be contented living in dozens of European, Eastern European, or other foreign cities.

The VISA restrictions of the day seem to conspire against this. As one MeFite wrote in response to a somewhat similar question: "One of the few things I regret in marrying an American girl (through a horrendously expensive and invasive visa process) is how deeply I've come to understand the essential immobility of nearly all of the world's citizens, especially between and into First World countries. I used to treasure the notion of living wherever you wanted and making a new life somewhere on the other side of the world. But the simple truth is, in the First World, you can't just pick up and move somewhere anymore, and if you do, you'll be absolutely living on the margins of society, burning money fast and at risk of deportation constantly. Which will likely get you a 10 year travel ban to anywhere in the EU... The world isn't full of Hemingway-era open borders and laissez-faire expat life anymore, but there's still plenty of adventure to be had." There's also the Recession to consider. Also, I don't speak French or Spanish. (Have been meaning to learn French for years, but— between working at paying jobs and efforts at writing, never seem to have time; this must be remedied.)

Order of preference:
1- France, Montreal tie (strangely enough)
2- Europe (general) + Turkey. Scandinavia.
3- Eastern Europe.
4- USA. Toronto?

Note: Not too many places in the US I feel especially excited about moving to. First, because I'm rather tired of contemporary American culture (in spite of the promise of the Obama administration) and would benefit by living in another. Second— don't know if this will makes sense to anyone—, because I'm finishing a collection of essays largely about the US, and, if Fate allows, after having finished these and the novel, will basically have exhausted to my limit the country's appearances, culture, and mores. Regarding particular cities: Not too hot on Austin, Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, New Orleans (the latter's great, but have already written about it to satiety). NYC is fine, but in the past has proven too expensive and harrying to be feasible. New Mexico and Arizona feel all right. Again, though— willing to consider 'anywhere but here.'

5- ?
6- South America— All right, but I don't speak Spanish
6- Not so hot on Asia, Middle East, Australia, New Zealand— nonetheless, open to viable suggestions therein

Note: This also may not make any sense, but— part of the reason I'm wary of moving to these regions is that the novel I'm writing concerns and is set in contemporary America, in particular a number of East Coast cities, and I intuit that if I live in a culture too foreign, different, or even spatially far removed from particular US appearances, customs, and memories, it would erase the mental connections I need to preserve these impressions, hindering me from doing justice to the nebulous vision I have for the novel. I do imagine being able to live gladly in some of these places after the novel is completed.

The gist is that I would prefer a country other than the US, but not one so foreign or distant as to potentially erase memories and other connections necessary for writing the novel.

I realize, though, that if I’m am able to collect Unemployment insurance from MA while living in another state and looking for work, I would probably be foolish to give it up by moving abroad, and thus am probably riveted to the US.

More remote, rural, and less populous environments/ situations

a. The more people around, the better, for I've lived before for nine months in virtual solitude, and, while the experience was good, do not want to repeat it for a while; nonetheless, will do so relatively gladly if it means enough time to study, write, complete novel, etc.

All of this said— again, I'm open to almost any possibility, so long as it's 'anywhere but here,' relatively agreeable to my sensibilities, and allows the requisite time to write. All mindful suggestions appreciated.

~~~~~

[Footnote 1]

Common questions that this statement probably elicits (peripheral, but nonetheless necessary to clarify my circumstances):

'What do you write?'— I've written a novel (age 20 or so), enough poetry to possibly comprise a slim volume, a handful of stories, and reams of reflections, short narratives, visions, dreams, sketches, drafts, etc.

I devoted myself in earnest to writing about four years ago, when I moved from NYC to the Boston area set on ‘working’ (at a paying job) as little as possible so that I could write as much as possible.

Presently I'm finishing up a loose collection of sociological, philosophical, semi-autobiographical essays investigating mores, values, and beliefs in contemporary America, as well as more Ineffable questions. Am also partly through a novel, which I'll return to post essays, hopefully very soon.

'Have you been 'published'?— A little. Numerous reasons for said paucity. (1) Don't like to think about publishing until after completing a work to my satisfaction, as doing so can corrupt the artistic process. This is more in the European than American understanding of art. (2) Anyone who's braved the contemporary publishing process knows how ramified, fragmented, time-intensive, and involved it is, often with little remuneration, and I'd rather concentrate on the work itself most of the time. (3) Much of what I've been writing the last few years has been more for personal than public catharsis and illumination— but stands to enrich future writings precisely for this reason. (4) Others. However, as manifold writings are completed within the next few years, will put greater efforts into sharing and publishing them.

'Is your writing 'good?''— Only God knows. I hope so.

[Footnote 2]

It may sound outrageous to say that one requires at least three full days— preferably four— per week to study and write adequately. Can't one simply work a full-time job and do this in the evenings and on weekends? I can’t; most people don't understand this. In way of explanation, I reproduce the following passages from The Biography of Franz Kafka, by Max Brod, which I came across recently. I don't, by the way, liken myself to Kafka, or Mozart (also mentioned) in any way, or imply 'genius' (a term, incidentally, whose connotations were softer back then); I share these passages solely because they precisely articulate, and hopefully illuminate, a condition that I (and, I would imagine, most driven artists, scientists, mathematicians, inventors, or other visionary-types) experience:

"At the same time, one must not forget that the special nature of [Franz’s] gift, in fact, and not only in the minds of his parents, precluded its being turned to any practical value. Furthermore, to turn it to any such practical value was utterly and completely incompatible with the purity of Franz’s idea of art. ‘Writing is a form of prayer,’ the diary affirms. Indeed, when it came to the point of choosing a profession, Franz postulated his job should have nothing to do with literature. That he would have regarded as a debasing of literary creation. Breadwinning and the art of writing must be kept absolutely apart, a ‘mixture’ of the two, such as journalism, for example, Kafka rejected— although at the same time he never laid down dogmas, but merely withdrew, as it were, with a smile, explaining that ‘I just can’t do it.’ He influenced me and my choice of profession for years with these views of his and, like himself, out of respect for art, I went through agonies, in the most hideous, prosaic, dry profession of the law and didn’t find the road to theatrical and musical criticism until years later. [Brod seems to miss the point that writing routinely for profit under coercive, often quotidian, inane guidelines inculcates poor habits that stylistically and substantively corrupt one’s creative writing.] Today I regret Kafka’s severity on this point as a noble error, and regret the hundreds of joyless hours I let slip by in a mood almost of despair, wasting God’s high creation, time, in offices just like those in which Kafka now set out on his martyr’s way.

What we both strove after with burning ardor was a post with a ‘single shift’— that is, office from early morning till two or three in the afternoon— now I can write this ‘or’ so easily as though to us at the time it didn’t seem as if the whole health of our souls depended on this one hour— and none in the afternoon. Jobs with commercial firms, which meant being in the office mornings and afternoons, didn’t leave any continuous stretch of the day over for literary work, walks, reading, the theater, and so on. And even when one came home after three, by the time one had eaten, recovered a little from the soul-destroying work, and was ready to switch over into the state of freedom one had been looking forward to— there was already very little of the day left. The desired office hours till two o’clock only were offered by extremely few offices, however, being almost exclusively in Government offices which even then, under the old Austrian Empire, were open to Jews only if they had influence in very high quarters. I don’t want here to go into the story of all our disappointed hopes of suitable jobs which haunted our conversation at that time. It will suffice to say that Kafka, after a short prelude in the most strenuous commercial offices (the ‘Assicurazioni Generali’), finally achieved the longed-for-job in July 1908, in a semi-Government office, the ‘Workers Accident Insurance Institute for the Kingdom of Bohemia in Prague.’

In both posts Franz had men over him who were well disposed towards him. Nevertheless it soon became evident that he couldn’t get on with it, in spite of all his experiments in dividing up his time in such a way as to allow him to indulge unrestrictedly in his passion— writing. For that he needed a succession of many hours, to permit the great impetus which his creative power gave him to soar to its proper climax and then die down again. But this was impossible for Kafka in one short afternoon with the prospect of the next barren day in the insurance institute always in front of him— for me, who had to go through the analogous experience shortly afterwards, it was only half-possible by the application of extreme energy and concentration. So hard times began for both of us. Significant of what we suffered is the poem I wrote during one of the holiday tours we made together, and which I dedicated to my friend. Kafka tried sleeping in the afternoon and writing at night. That always went all right for a certain length of time, but he was not getting his proper sleep— Franz suffered from poor sleep, and an unusual sensitivity to noise anyhow— conditions of exhaustion set in, and so he had to call upon his last reserves of strength to get through his work in the office. A lot was expected of him there, among other things jobs that he described— and this is the strongest word of disapproval I have ever heard from him— as ‘disgusting,’ as for example a kind of press campaign against not unjustified attacks to which social insurance was then exposed… In one of his letters, his office work is described in the following humorous fashion which anticipates a Charlie Chaplin film. ‘If you only knew how much I have to do! In my four district headquarters— apart from all my other work— people fall, as if they were drunk, off scaffolds and into machines, all the planks tip up, there are landslides everywhere, all the ladders slip, everything one puts up falls down and what one puts down one falls over oneself. All these young girls in China factories who incessantly hurl themselves downstairs with mountains of crockery’…

There are, of course, in the still unpublished parts of the diary other passages in the same vein. And they really rise to a mighty climax when the time comes for him to take up a formally a share in the factory in the interests of his family, and later to be constrained to show, if only occasionally, a practical interest in this undertaking. That he finds unbearable. He knows, in fact, what tremendous creative powers there are in him, which are clamoring to be unleashed and which are pent up by responsibilities of this kind. His complaint sounds very similar to that letter from Paris in which Mozart wrote the following refusal to his father who was urging him to start taking in pupils. ‘You must not think it laziness— no!— but because it is utterly against my genius, my way of life… You know that I am, as one might say, stuck fast in music— that I am busied with it all day long— that I love to speculate— to study— to think things over. But now here I am prevented from doing so by this way of living (ie, the lessons). I shall, it is true, have a few hours free, only— these few hours I shall need to rest in, rather than work in.’ Unfortunately, there will always be Philistines who are of the opinion that is enough if genius has ‘a few hours free’— they don’t understand that all the available hours barely suffice to guarantee to an even tolerably uninterrupted ebb and flow of inspiration and repose its right and proper far-flung arc of oscillation.”

[Footnote 3]

Cursory List of Resources

Books
Getting Out: Your Guide to Leaving America - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0976082276/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/
Work Your Way Around the World, 14th Edition - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1854584561/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/
Teaching English Abroad - Teaching English Abroad
http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-English-Abroad-Up-Date/dp/1854584405/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257909760&sr=1-1
The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home: Making a New Life Abroad
http://www.amazon.com/Grown-Ups-Guide-Running-Away-Home/dp/1580088732/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257909760&sr=1-6

Webistes
Expatica - http://www.expatica.com/fr/main.html
Transitions Abroad - http://transitionsabroad.com/
http://transitionsabroad.com/listings/living/resources/expatriatewebsites.shtml
Expat Focus - http://www.expatfocus.com/expatriate-forums
Expatriate Interviews - http://www.expatinterviews.com/
Escape Artist - http://www.escapeartist.com/
Anglo Info - http://france.angloinfo.com/
Boots n All Travel - http://www.bootsnall.com/

Couchsurfing
http://www.couchsurfing.org/

Bunac "Working Adventures Worldwide"
http://www.bunac.org
WWOOF (Organic Farming around the World) - http://www.wwoof.org/
New Zealand Working Holiday Visa
http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migrant/stream/work/workingholiday/unitedstatesofamericaworkingholidayscheme.htm
Travel on Cargo Ship - http://thetravelersnotebook.com/how-to/how-to-travel-by-cargo-ship/

NationMaster - http://www.nationmaster.com/
Safety/ Freedom - http://freedomhouse.org/template.cfm?page=1
Corruption Scale -

France
French Entree - http://www.frenchentree.com/france-employment-work-jobs/
Freelance in France - http://www.google.com/search?q=freelancing+in+france&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
Blog of US expat in France - http://samdebretagne.blogspot.com/
Another Blog of US expat in France - http://dispatchesfromfrance.blogspot.com/

Teach English Abroad
Celta - http://www.cambridgeesol.org/exams/teaching-awards/celta.html
ESL Cafe - http://solbeam.com/category/on-love/
Teach English in Italy - http://www.teachingenglishinitaly.com/

~~~~~

Apologies to anyone perturbed by the War and Peace length of this posting. I think it's so long partly because writing it helped me clarify to myself what I'm looking for to some extent.

Best Way to Sell Household Goods?

Anonymous — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:26:11 -0800

In six months, I am moving to Alaska. What is the best way to sell my household goods? I won't need furniture, kitchen supplies, etc. up there. I currently have the standard accoutrements of a post-college, big-city young professional; most of my furniture is nice but of the Ikea variety, my dishware and appliances range from meh to nice, and I have tons of books. I'm going to be flying up, so I need to fit everything I take into three suitcases and a carry-on. My parents can take custody of some stuff (probably mostly books) but not furniture. I don't want to put anything into storage.

Of course I've thought of Craigslist, but is there a better way? I'd like to maximize the cash I can put away from selling my things. I'm also interested to know what the proper timeline is. Can I expect to get rid of a one-bedroom apartment's worth of stuff in a month? Two months? Two weeks? I live in a large East Coast city with a reputation for transiency. Any bonus moving to Alaska (Anchorage) tips also appreciated!

Anonymous because I haven't given notice at work, and won't for a while. Throwaway email: movingtoalaska10@gmail.com

Building home across the pond

zvs — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:47:40 -0800

Make London work. Help a beleaguered New Yorker figure out how to acclimate. Griping follows. So, there's a decent chance I'll be trying to move to London next year for school and work. No visa issues (EU passport), no language issues, no real issues at all -- except that when I've visited London, it Just. Doesn't. Work. For me.

New York to London shouldn't be a big culture shock, right? But for some reason I've never found anywhere there that felt nearly as comfortable or useful as Brooklyn. I don't feel like I can pop in somewhere for quick food, I can't find any life (not nightlife) after 8 PM, I can't find more groceries than a Tesco Express... I realize some of these aren't reasonable London expectations, but that won't stop me from building a little homey bubble around myself!

So, your tips are welcomed for this oddly specific question: where's the appropriate London district that's similar to home? It doesn't have to be terribly central or TOO cheap. If you're familiar with both cities, comparable neighborhoods in New York would be Astoria, or Greenpoint, or Carroll Gardens -- the last three places I liked. All of them are sort of quiet, insulated, and very dense. A little off the beaten path.

The closest I found to something like this in London was the area near St-John-At-Hackney, and that wasn't all that close. Pleasant though.

(I've seen this, but it's not really what I mean)

How to move my unqualified behind to Europe?

Anonymous — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:05:22 -0800

Ex-pat filter: How do I get a job in Western Europe without a Master's degree? Is it even possible, or should I suck it up and go to grad school? Due to the way my life has worked out, I'm an American citizen but haven't lived in the US in nearly a decade, and I have no desire to live there again. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the US, but when I visit, it never feels like I belong there. Right now I'm working in Asia teaching English as a foreign language, but nothing about this job feels permanent to me. I'd like to start thinking of something more long-term. Ideally, I'd like to work in the public sector, especially in non-profit. I studied abroad in Britain during university and I've been on extended holidays to Europe several times in the past, and I'd really love to move somewhere in Western Europe, specifically the UK or Ireland. But -- and here's the thing -- I don't think I have any real qualifications. Here's what I do have:

1. I have an Honour's (4 years + dissertation) B.A. from a well-known Canadian university in History.
2. I've worked in education for the past four years, two years at university level in Canada, two years in a private school in Korea, teaching both English grammar/writing and EFL. I have no problem teaching anything related to social sciences or the humanities. However, I don't have any official teaching certification.
3. I'm a native English speaker, I speak decent French, and I speak elementary Korean.
4. I've lived in four countries including the US, and I've been to 20 countries around the world.
5. I'm in my twenties, I'm a fast learner, I'm good with languages, I'm highly sociable and love working with people, and I'm very open-minded.

In all honesty, I don't even know where to begin looking for jobs. Do I have any hopes of landing a job in Europe with this, or should I go to grad school? I've been looking at several grad programs in Sweden and Norway that may lead to non-profit work. I'd love to move to Europe but I have no idea if I want to go back to school, especially since the only subject I really ever loved was History -- a field that doesn't lead to a wide range of career opportunities if I get an MA in it.

I'm posting anon because I'm embarrassed at how naive all of this sounds. Any and all advice would be much appreciated, even if it's just you telling me I need to get my lazy bum to grad school.

Living in or near Honfleur, France

whatzit — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:44:31 -0800

I'm moving to France (not to paint houses)! Two big questions: Where to live while working in Honfleur? What should I buy in Japan or the US before moving, to take advantage of better prices? LIVING in Honfleur should be different than being a tourist. It was great as a tourist! But will I be bored silly living there? Should I stay in Le Havre or even Rouen? For work I should be out of the office ~50% of the time anyway. I am in my 20s, single, prefer an international, urban environment, and like access to food, sports, universities, public transport. I reckon a car is unavoidable.

DESPITE your and my own advice to move with as little as possible, the employer will pay shipping, and I have an advantage on prices on some things in Japan and the US. Should I ship my bicycle (mountain bike)? Go on a clothes spree? Am I forgetting anything?? Electronics are not an option (110-220 issue).

(This is as sudden, but more definite and more exciting than the previous Qatar option...)

Loneliness and location

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:26:09 -0800

I'm heading back to the work world after studying abroad, and want to overcome my long-standing social isolation. Where should I move to? I'm 27, and finishing a masters degree at a university in Sweden. Between this and my prior experience in the software industry, my career is in great shape. But my social life is not. I'm lucky enough to have kept close friends from high school, but have struggled to make new ones since then. This also carries over to dating: my only sexual experience was a fling with an old friend a couple years back. The thought of this continuing indefinitely is scary but all too realistic.

Soon I need to start applying for programming jobs, and I'd like to do it with the above in mind. I'm a U.S. citizen from the Northeast, but I also traveled around Northern Europe (Scandinavia, Holland, Ireland, …) during my studies and wouldn't mind living there either. (I'm aware of the issues with getting work permits.) But the couple friends I do have here are also foreign students, and even outgoing expats say Swedes are hard to get to know. I'm afraid that even in an English-speaking country this could be the case for a foreigner. Are there expat MeFites that have experience with this? I prefer some aspects of the culture here, but it's no fun to live anyplace as a perpetual outsider.

If I do go back to the U.S., are some cities friendlier than others? Of course I realize that solving my problems involves hard work, personal change, and probably some form of therapy. But I don't want to sabotage my efforts either. Cities with good food, public transit, a decent music scene, and not overly conservative would be nice too.

Adios NY- i will miss you

octomato — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:14:08 -0800

Leaving NYC after 3 years. What shouldn't I miss out on these next 2 months. Within the past 3 months my life has quickly changed drastically. I have decided to leave NYC after 3 years of living/working here and move back to my native island. What things should I do/see/eat/drink/experience before I leave. I am not working anymore and have a limited budget, but will splurge a bit if it's worth it. I will be moving back by December 21st.

Thanks!

Vehicle Shipping

Bokononist — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:50:53 -0800

Is there anything tricky I should know about shipping a car across the country? I'm moving from Florida to San Jose. I have a 2003 Honda Accord. I filled out a form online and got some shipping quotes sent to me that seem reasonable (my standard being they are about the same as the sales tax on a replacement there. I've had the car long enough that I wouldn't have to pay use tax to bring it in).

Has anyone done this before? I know plenty of horror stories involving moving companies, and it seems like a lot of the same trickery could go on with this. So any of the following would be helpful:

1) Contacts for specific companies someone has worked with that aren't sheisters.
2) Things otherwise to look out for or consider in choosing someone, and
3) Any radically different approach that is way better for some unconsidered reason.

No lease, moving howto?

Anonymous — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:48:23 -0800

I live in an apartment with no lease and pay rent to my (dishonest) roommate. How do I minimize my financial losses when I move out? I moved in June 15 and paid a full month's rent ($600). The next month and each subsequent month my roommate told me to pay $550 after I questioned how high the rent was. I paid that rent on the first of each month (or thereabouts).

In months that passed, I've found out that roommate has lied about how much the whole apartment rents for, and that he pays $50 less rent than he told me he paid. I've also observed that he generally lies and cheats people out of things whenever he has the opportunity to do so. We do not have good roommate relations due to related and unrelated conflicts, and he does not like me & vice versa.

I don't have a security deposit or a lease, the utilities are in my name (and I take the amount that he owes me out of the rent check each month), and what we'd (verbally) agreed upon was that I would give 30 days notice before moving out.

I am planning on moving out December 14. I am also planning on taking the utilities out of my name starting on that day. I am 95% positive that he will not give me what he owes me for utilities for the period of December 1-15 (the bill that I will get after I move out). This will be a non-trivial sum since we live in a cold area with high gas bills.

What I (and others I've consulted) see my options as being are to give him written and verbal notification on November 13 that I will be moving out on December 14 and:

A: Pay all of December rent.
B: Pay half of December rent.
C: Say that I've been paying rent from the 15th-15th of each month (since I moved in on June 15) and pay no December rent.
D: Pay half of December rent and subtract the utilities that he owes from that AND the utilities that I project he will owe for the final bill.

So, MetaFilter, what do I do? What is right? What is fair? What will screw me over the least?

Montana?

Rudy Gerner — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:24:55 -0800

I will be living in Montana for 6 weeks this winter. I've only ever lived in New England, with a couple of brief stints in other places. Please tell me what to expect. I am going to be living in Basin, Montana for most of January and February and other than knowing that it will be somewhat remote and desolate, I have no idea what it will be like to live there. Currently, I have a very urban lifestyle -- I throw on cold weather running gear and run outside, I head to Trader Joe's for cheapish food and Whole Foods or my local health food store for veggies and other comestibles. I go to the movies, bars, coffeeshops. I am a foodie. I am queer, a progressive, an activist, etc. As you can tell, your all around blue New England urban lifestyle.

Wtf will it be like in Basin, Montana? Any tips around day-to-day life, how to show, how to run (I definitely am interested in how to run, both weather-wise and is-it-safe-to-run-alone-in-desolate-landwise), how to recreate, what not to miss (I have heard Missoula is awesome), how to keep warm (weather tips greatly appreciated--no idea what to expect), how to interact with folks. I will have a car out there.

I have so little point for reference that I don't even know what I should be asking here, so I apologize for the vagueness. Thanks in advance.

Learning to make better decisions in relationships filter:

Anonymous — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:52:35 -0800

Help me get over a broken heart uber-style. I'm taking my recent relationship experience to the max and looking at why I do what I do. Can you help me? About two months ago, I went through a pretty non-descript breakup that hurt, as all breakups do, but had a fantastically heartbreaking unexpected coda that left me in a deep depression. Without getting into much detail: We knew each other for a while, dated, had an awesome time together, things started to get funky with both of us playing a part and that led to us not being together. Not what I wanted but life don’t always do what we think it’s ‘sposed to do. After the breakup, I was privy to an overwhelming flow of information about my ex that involved lying, cheating, secrecy and all around bad form and behavior behind my back (I did not seek out the information, it came to me.) To say the least, I was devastated.
I decided to take this opportunity to look at myself, my choices and my relationship “resume”. Needless to say, I’ve made bad choices in partners before (surprise!) and vowed to get a handle on this situation. I began therapy, write regularly and spend time with good friends. But, is that enough? I know it’s only been two months but I cry. All.The.Time. I’m having a hard time processing this recent experience not to mention looking at a lifetime of dating disasters. I can see some of my patterns, you know? I see that I have made some romantic decisions based on immature reasoning: The chemistry is good, the sex is fantastic and turning a blind eye to inappropriate behavior for fear of failing in relationship. Again. This last one was a doozy ‘cause I thought I was being smart and mindful. Communincating clearly, being vulnerable and honest and all that good stuff but it was probably the most painful ending yet. I really want to learn how to make better partnering choices but don’t know how. I mean, seeing my pattern and knowing how to change it are two very different things. Not to mention, I am human. Prone to make mistakes. Does that exclude me from having a loving relationship?
So, have you been able to change your relationship patterns for the better? How and what did you do? I don’t expect that I will do an automatic 180. I expect a little two steps forward, one step back action but god damn! I need some help on the two steps forward. I feel I reek of this experience and don’t feel like I’m moving in any direction at all. If this sounds familiar, the making bad relationship choices part, how were you able to change? Anon but email can be sent to changemypatterns@gmail.com
Thanks a bunch for any and all insight.

Moving In Wintertime

scrutiny — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:10:15 -0800

My wife and I are moving from NYC to Denver in the middle of January. We'll likely be shipping some stuff and then driving. I've never moved during the winter, so I'm looking for advice from people who have moved through snow or know of any issues getting to Denver around January. Best routes? I've moved often, but it's always been in the summer. We plan on taking things slow - no reason to get into an accident - but I want to be sure there's not some other salient feature that I won't know about until it's actually too late.

I know what I want to do, so if you've advice on how best to do it, please be my guest!

Previously, about winterizing cars in Denver

Is Albuquerque like I am imagining it?

filthy light thief — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:45:12 -0800

I'm looking to move out of California with my wife, with the goal of buying a home for the future filthy light thief family. Mrs. flt's parents have been looking at Albuquerque, New Mexico based on statistics (housing prices, employment, etc) and their brief visit to the city. How is Albuquerque for young families and adults in search of a lively city? More details inside. My wife and I currently live in California, and we'd like to stay except anywhere that seems to have the qualities we enjoy is out of our price range. Albuquerque has a temperate climate that is similar to coastal California, and I love the high desert in terms of appearance. Albuquerque seems to have plenty of open space for hiking and meandering.

We'd like a larger city with more diversity in amenities and attractions, as we've had our fill of smaller towns and college towns. For sake of comparison: of the three large California metropolises, we like San Francisco over the never-ending sprawl of Los Angeles and San Diego (though SF is far from affordable to own, on the salary of a government employee [me] and a high school math teacher [wife]). Does Albuquerque fit the bill?

Bonus points:
- walkable neighborhoods with amenities like parks and business districts a few miles from homes
- lively music/arts scene, local and/or touring
- reasonable public transit (ABQ RIDE is cheaper than local transit routes, if those prices are accurate)