Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with moving

Need some help planning a move with PODs

um_maverick — Thu, 23 May 2013 13:25:34 -0800

The fam and I are moving in two weeks, and will have two weeks of living in a small rental between closings. Because of this delay, we are going to use PODs for the move, but aren't sure what size we need, and hoping someone can help. We have a small two bedroom, one bath ranch. 3 couches and a love seat, and the only appliance coming with us is a fridge. We are moving two adults with two preschoolers. Some clothes will be coming to the apartment, and we will also be putting some items in a friends basement...at least our large tv, possibly some other electronics, and possibly other things if we run out of space in the pod. I'm hoping to get the remainder of the house into one 16 foot pod, half for budget reasons, and half because I doubt we can fit two in the driveway of our current house. A friend just moved a 3 bedroom ranch with one toddler in two 12 foot pods with room to spare...am I crazy thinking we can do it in one?

Thanks!

5-day gap between apartment leases

RUPure — Wed, 22 May 2013 13:38:05 -0800

My current lease ends on June 30, but my new lease does not begin until July 5. We've talked with both current and new landlords, but neither are able to help us out by allowing us to stay late/move in early. What are some creative solutions to this problem? I'm sure this is a common problem, but I will have a 5 day gap between my current lease and my new lease. If I go the traditional route, I have to pay for movers twice, and for storage. These seems like I will be spending a lot of money for only 5 days, so I'm hoping to figure out another solution. I've looked into Pods and ABF Relocubes because I've used them in the past, but they are not allowed in the city of Chicago, where I live. I'm not too concerned about where I will stay because I can stay with family or friends, but I do have a decent amount of furniture and will have many boxes, so my stuff cannot come with me to crash with friends/family.

Any thoughts?

I know that this question addressed a similar situation, but it was only an overnight gap, and in NYC, whereas it will be 5 days for me, and in Chicago. I figure there might be different responses given these differences.

Thanks for your help!!

How can I minimize the cost of moving my family across the country?

mboszko — Tue, 21 May 2013 12:07:48 -0800

My wife and two kids (and our two cats) and I may soon need to move from Maryland to Seattle. What's the cheapest way that we can move ourselves and our stuff across the country? We may be moving if I accept a job offer. They are offering some reimbursement of moving expenses, but we would still need to afford it up front.

We'd be moving a 3BR house, but I am willing to sell furniture and get rid of as much of my unnecessary crap as possible to make the load lighter. I'm working on convincing my wife and kids to do the same.

At the moment, it looks like renting a Penske truck and driving our car across in tandem seems to be the cheapest option. The Penske is only a 3-seater, and we'll have four people, so towing isn't an option, unfortunately. It looks to total around $5K, including gas and tolls for both vehicles, and hotels. If you have any insight into doing something similar, I would be extremely grateful for any alternate suggestions you might have, or any tips on minimizing our expenses.

You can't go home again

anotheraccount — Mon, 20 May 2013 10:54:10 -0800

For the first time in my adult life, I'm contemplating moving back to my hometown. Have you moved back to your hometown? What was it like? When I was 17, I left my hometown of Pittsburgh for college in Chicago. I hated Pittsburgh when I lived there - I grew up there in the '90s, when it was still really dark and depressing. I contemplated moving back after I graduated from college, but I ultimately decided that I would have better job opportunities here. Since then, I've settled into a great job, met and moved in with my boyfriend, and made a great circle of friends here. I go back to Pittsburgh a few times a year, but never regretted my decision to come to Chicago.

This past weekend, I took my boyfriend home to visit for the first time. Maybe it was because he was seeing it for the first time, or because I got to spend a lot of time with relatives that I don't often get to see - but I truly loved being there. The city has changed dramatically for the better since I left; cost of living is extremely low and young people are actually sticking around, so the economy is booming and it's become a hip place to be. But more importantly I loved spending time with my family and was struck by how much I had missed. My niece, who was in grade school when I left, is now a teenager. My grandfathers are much older. My sister is now married and they will have children in the next few years. I loved spending time with them and was sad to think about how little I get to see them.

I cried most of the plane ride home. Even when I would take trips back in college, I wouldn't shed more than a few tears on the trip back to Chicago. I was surprised that I had such a strong emotional reaction, but then I realized: maybe being in Pittsburgh is what I really want. Maybe I've been gone too long and I could build a life there that gave me a lot of the great things about my childhood, but let me do my own thing, too.

My boyfriend and I just signed another year-long lease. He was born and raised here and never wants to live anywhere else. And I don't want to jump headfirst into this idea, because I know I may very well change my mind in a few weeks. I'm going back to visit in September (already planned trip, sans boyfriend), so that will be interesting.

How do I even broach this with my boyfriend? Have you moved back to your hometown? Was it everything you thought it would be?

So I guess its over now?

hellameangirl — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:52:43 -0800

How to deal with heartbreak and the logistics of 'what next?'. So I guess I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I'm 34 (he's 31) and we've been together 3 years, lived together a year and a half.
Basically, a few days ago I asked him if it was possible that we could get married in a year and try for a baby shortly after. He said he was not ready to think about babies, even a year from now, and is pretty sure he never wants to get married, citing his parents divorce gave him a negative view of marriage. I can deal with never getting married, but his reluctance to consider a kid with me just tears me apart. I feel like he'd be an AMAZING dad, but if we wait until he's ready I may be too old to become a mom. I asked if he'd consider adoption if it came to that, and he turned angry and adamant that he is not in a place to even think about it. I cried and said that I would have to leave him then, because I don't think I can stay with him if it means burying my dream of motherhood.
He cried and asked why can't I be happy with just him. I don't know why, and maybe I'm making a mistake (am I?) but it just feels like something is missing.

So now what? Adding to the colossal disappointment we are both feeling, now we have to separate all our things and someone needs to move out of the place we love.
Am I the one who is supposed to move out since its more my decision?
Another concern is that his sister is getting married this summer (apparently their parents' divorce didn't give her a negative view of marriage) and I was planning to attend her bachelorette weekend in a couple weeks..do I need to cancel on her? I can't figure out if thats rude or if it'd be more rude to attend, seeing as I may never see her again after.

But most of all, how do I move on? I had pictured this guy as my future husband and father of my children and now, poof! I'm not as young and cute as I used to be, but I don't want to be desperate.. What are the chances I'll find Mr. Right anytime soon? I live in Los Angeles and HATE the dating scene here, not to mention I don't want to raise a kid here. I've always wanted to move to Portland, should I put my focus on finding a job there and move??

Moving to Denver, know nothing west of the Mississippi. Help!

stormygrey — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:44:42 -0800

I'm moving to Denver... soon! Aside from one awesome week in San Francisco, I've never even been west of the Mississippi. Help this Georgia girl find a place to love. I am so excited (In that I hope I don't puke on anybody way) to be moving to Denver. The job starts mid-September, but I will be ready to head out anytime from mid-July on. I could really use your input on where to live as I'm really not sure that I'll be able to go look before I can move. We really love our neighborhood now and I'm going to let that inform where I would like to live.

So things I love about where I live now:
*I can easily walk or bike (>1.5 miles) to multiple different bars/restaurants/shops/music venues/theaters.
*I live in a very small attic apartment, but what I pay corresponds to the size. $700 w/utilities in this case.
*No one thinks its weird if I go running after dark, there are lots of people running and biking and there is a recreation trail close that connects parts of downtown.
*It is very diverse and artsy in that, no one gives a fuck what you do, kind of way.
*I live a scant two miles from downtown proper and the capital, but my neighborhood is very homey, with modest historic homes and cute and eclectic yards and facades.

Other Considerations:
*My husband is going to be at Buckley AFB in Aurora. I don't want his commute to be awful.
*The suburbs both make us very sad. We really don't want strip malls or slick, new apartment complexes.
*Urban bike/walk-ablility is pretty important. I assume almost everywhere is going to have good access to some awesome wilderness hiking/activity stuff.
*We're not scared of people or city stuff. Ha. When looking at military spouse forums I feel like there is a lot of "safe places to live" which feels like code for "please shelter me from those who are different."
*We love zoos, city parks, green spaces, etc.
*At a glance I'm not seeing subdivided houses, small house, etc on Craigslist mostly just straight up bland apartment complexes. We will be there about 3 years, I don't want to buy.
*Accordingly, I am kinda thinking the City Park, Uptown, or Five Points area. I don't know! I've never been there, this is all google here!
*We absolutely don't want to live on base.
*We are hoping to spend between 900-1000/mth, but could go over if there are a lot of other places.

Man, that's a lot, but really just good, fun, easy, moderate size city living is what we're after. What do you have to say about all this?

Best way to go about radically downsizing a 3 bedroom house?

desjardins — Wed, 15 May 2013 10:35:52 -0800

We're moving into a 38' RV in the next month and getting rid of our three bedroom apartment. We're trying not to put too much in storage so the vast majority of stuff has to go. I'm getting overwhelmed and I'm not sure of the best way to go about this. We're taking things like electronics, clothes, some kitchen stuff. Tools and garage-type stuff will go in a shed on the campsite or in a storage unit. I'm having some difficulty conceptualizing the amount of stuff we can actually take with us. (It's a 38 ft fifth-wheel, one of the larger RVs out there.) What kind of sorting process is best?

Here are some examples of what I know we need to get rid of:

Living room, office and bedroom furniture - most of which was of Target quality to begin with and has been heavily used. Honestly most of this should just be trashed.
Clothing and shoes - mostly women's, mostly very petite sizes, not designer brands but still good quality. Some brand new stuff.
Electronic junk - old computer cables, webcams, computers with the hard drives removed, old (digital) camera, old flip phones
Kitchen stuff - Duplicate dinnerware, lots of coffee cups and wine glasses and small single-purpose appliances
Random crap - Christmas decorations that were gifts. We've never celebrated Christmas in our own home so this stuff has sat in the attic. Knick knacks that were souvenirs from family members (I am not sentimental). Old CDs and DVDs.

I doubt there's any single item worth over $30. Is it worth my time to sell on eBay or Craigslist? Should I have garage sales? (We get a lot of foot traffic in our neighborhood.)

Loans for NYC Moving Expenses

incomple — Tue, 14 May 2013 07:29:25 -0800

I'm planning to move from one NYC neighborhood to another at the end of the summer. Though I'm 99% sure I'll be able to cover all potential expenses (movers, security deposit, first/last month's rent, broker's fee), I was wondering if there's a reputable company that advances small loans to help cover these costs. Though at this point I'm fully expecting to be able to cover all the expenses, I'm worried about the possibility of some sort of emergency that would necessitate dipping into these savings. The amount that I would potentially need to borrow would be small (absolute worst case scenario, probably $4000), and could be repaid reasonably immediately.

I have doubts about my bank (Chase) advancing such a loan, though I'll be thrilled if anyone tells me otherwise. I'm also strongly considering asking for an increase to my credit limit, because though I have yet to encounter a landlord who takes payments by card, I know that could be the thing that preserves my bank balance in an emergency.

Basically, any advice on how to cover my ass, beyond just crossing my fingers, would be appreciated.

How to couchsurf effectively

Ziggy500 — Fri, 10 May 2013 02:40:14 -0800

I am leaving my place shortly and moving into a new one, however there will be a period during which I will be camping out with various family and friends while the paperwork on the new place gets sorted and I get some work done to it. What is the minimum of stuff I should take with me in order to live comfortably on someone else's floor / sofa bed / guest room, while still not taking up too much of their space? Also, how do I deal with the lack of feeling settled / not having my own space? I haven't done this for a long time, so want to go in fully prepared. I am planning to take with me only my Kindle, toiletries, towels, and a weeks' worth of clothing which I will just launder on the weekends and re-wear. I feel like I am forgetting some vital things here but I can't think what.

I have lived alone for a longish time and am used to being in my own place with all of my things about me. I fear that a couple of months of camping out on various people's floors is going to have me feeling rather unsettled, and I also feel very on edge about always being in other people's space.

I feel a bit silly asking this question, as it's only a few months, but if anyone has any tips on how to live out of a small suitcase, and cope with not having a room to yourself (in a way that causes minimum inconvenience to you as well as to the person you're staying with), that would be great.

I am nothing if not considerate and a champion over-thinker, so I am not worried about being a bad house-guest, but if you have any tips that I might not have considered, those would be welcome too. This similar question has been pretty useful though.

Thanks guys!

It's like winning the lottery... almost.

fuzzywuzzysock — Thu, 09 May 2013 07:57:14 -0800

My partner and I have just been offered a large amount of money to leave our NYC apartment. Our plan is to pull up stakes and move to my home state. We have to make a decision by tomorrow. However, I've also just had a hinky breast mammogram/sonogram and am scheduled for a biopsy next week. Am I making a major mistake in quitting my job, going on COBRA, and moving cross country when I've got a potential health issue on the line? I moved to NYC in early 2001 and met my partner in 2004. I have a solid, loving relationship, and a good job with a well-known NGO. However, a series of health issues spanning 2008-2010 left me wanting to move back to my home state and be closer to my family. Now my health problems are mostly resolved (I thought), but my priorities have shifted, and I am tired of the NYC rat race. My partner came around to the idea, and we started planning. I've done extensive research on housing costs, cost of living, job market and moving expenses. We have a solid plan, and financially, it makes sense. And I really, really want to move.

Last week, our landlord offered us a very large sum of money to move out of our rent-controlled apartment. It's life-changing money. It's enough money to pay for the move, cars, and a house outright in my home state. We are in the midst of negotiations now, and it's very time sensitive deal. They want our answer by Friday. We would probably need to leave our apartment by the end of June at the latest. The plan is that I would quit my job and go on COBRA until I get a new job in my home state (where there is a decent job market for my skills). My partner is self-employed and his income situation wouldn't change much, and I cover insurance for both of us.

The Crisis: Last week, I got my second mammogram. I just turned 40, and have no history of breast cancer in my family. However, I was called back for further imaging, and the radiologist has detected a small amount (less than 2mm) of "debris" in a milk duct, and I am scheduled for a biopsy on Monday. The soonest I will get the pathology back is end of next week. It could be nothing, or it could be something requiring treatment. I currently have excellent health insurance with my job.

So what. the. fuck. do we do? We have to give an answer to the landlord before I know the results of the biopsy. My doctors say they can't give me advice until the pathology is back.

Is it crazy for me to consider quitting my current job and going on COBRA while I have this breast issue looming?

I basically see these possible scenarios for continuing with the move:

Large chance that it's nothing, we breath a sigh of relief and start packing.

Medium chance that it's a small DCIS and that delaying treatment by 6-10 weeks really won't harm anything. If I do require treatment (based on my research) it would likely be a lumpectomy and maybe radiation. This wouldn't significantly impair my job search, and I would be re-employed in 3-6 months (our move plan easily allows for this window of me trying to find a job and staying on COBRA).

Small chance that it's something that would require a more extensive surgery/recovery, possibly delaying my job search and extending the length of time we stay on expensive COBRA and I'm not contributing to the expenses, eating into our buy-out money.

Tiny chance that it's something mega bad that will require immediate treatment, but we still have to leave our apartment, I won't be able to help pack, and we start burning through our buy-out money on a sublet for an undetermined about of time, reducing the financial incentive for moving in the first place (although I would be able to keep my job and full benefits).

Things I'm not considering here? Experiences? Advice?

Stay? Go? To a new city, or to grad school?

dean_deen — Mon, 06 May 2013 22:14:19 -0800

My friends who are moving to Pittsburgh are asking me if I want to join them, and this is making me question my potential career path and what I should do over the next year or so. I am 23. I have gone back and forth on whether I want to give journalism a try throughout undergrad. Because of all the bad things I heard about the field (low pay, crazy hours, lots of stress) on this forum, I figured I would do marketing writing instead, and now that I’m about a year and a half out of college, I am currently working as a very underpaid copywriter. It’s definitely not as engaging as my last gig interviewing musicians. I also miss the process of talking to and writing about other people, so now I’m thinking I want to do journalism after all. The low pay is not much of a concern anymore, because even the lowest-paid reporter’s salary is probably more than what I’m making right now. And unlike undergrad, I now know what I would like my specialty to be if I do become a journalist: religion.

My original plan was to try and freelance for awhile on the side, and see if I could build up to a fulltime religion journalist through that. In the meantime, I would continue working at this job for a year.Now that my friends are asking me to join them, I’m having second thoughts about staying after all. The lure of being in a place that isn’t family-owned and living in a new city calls to me.

But I wonder if it would be in my best interest, career-wise, to stay here and build up a portfolio, because I have a few local connections, and all of the publications I’ve written for have been local. Maybe that would better help me get my foot in the door for freelancing? My friends are moving to Pittsburgh, which doesn’t seem like a hub for writing work. And frankly, neither is my hometown (Nashville), but I figure if I have some roots planted here in the writing community, then that connection may help me get started freelancing a little bit easier than uprooting and trying to establish myself in an entirely different place.

And grad school is always an option that haunts me. My mother really wants me to go, and she is more than happy to provide financial support, but I’m terrified of the possibility that I might not end up using my degree, or worse, dropping out before I finish it. But there are only two programs I can find that focuses on what I want to do—NYU and Columbia, neither of which are light on the pocketbook. However, assuming that I do go through with it, grad school could be good in the doors it would open for me, such as internships. I’m not eligible for many relevant internships since I’m not a recent graduate, and the ones who do accept later graduates have not selected me, unfortunately.

So I figure I have three options:

A.) Stay in Nashville, keep working where I am, try to freelance, save money, and down the road send out applications to out-of-state jobs that are more a fit for what I’m looking for
B.) Move in with my friends. Maybe get a not-as-relevant job, since I don’t really want to have a car up there (I would live in one of the more walkable parts of the city), though I’m willing to look for something similar to what I’m doing now. Not save as much money, but enjoy being in a new place and experiencing new things.
C.) Apply to journalism school

Really, this comes down to conflicting parts of me: the one side that’s more career-oriented and serious, and the more carefree side that says I could be content just working to get by and enjoying the new experience of being somewhere else. The serious side of me always wins, and I want to indulge the other side of me for once. And I’m young, right? I can always be more career-oriented down the road. So I really want to pick B.)

But then the serious side of me speaks up, and says that I should try and establish myself as soon as I can. What do you advise I should do? Career-wise? Moving-wise?

Big life changes and feeling unsettled

brambory — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:49:56 -0800

Do I need professional help or just time? I've been feeling anxious and stressed for the past three months, and I'm having a hard time parsing if this is due to this being an exceptionally...erm...challenging point in my life or if some sort of anxiety or depression has settled on me. In short, in the past 3 months I've: redecorated and put our house on the market, moved overseas, started living with my in-laws, submitted my PhD, possibly bought a house here (dependent on the bank finally sending the money), and started a short-term consultancy position. Midway through all of this, my husband developed a quite serious infection and spent a week in the hospital (although he's better now). Currently, we're living in my in-law's house, and it's generally going ok, although it's been a bit of a shock to go from living in our 3-bed house to having just one bedroom in a house that's not ours. Oh, and we also have a 1 year old son. (And two cats, though they require considerably less work).

For the past few months, I've felt run down and struggled to be my 'normal' self. I feel like crying often, and would love to sleep and do....something, though I'm not sure what. I feel lonely and like my reserves are all gone. I'm having a hard time feeling any enthusiasm for the future. Since the PhD has been submitted, I've had some time to do relaxing things (dinner with Mr. Brambory, a morning of sketching, some sewing), but the feelings haven't really lifted. Part of me is excited to start this new phase in life, but it's fighting against a much larger beast of concerns, worries, and exhaustion.

I've been putting this down to the all-nighters I put in to finish my PhD, the stress of moving, and everything else listed above, but I also have a history of mild anxiety and depression (though only partially dealt with professionally). Also, I've had a week since my PhD was submitted and a very nice morning on Sunday all to myself, but still this unwanted cloud is here.

So, how much of this is a normal reaction and how much of this screams, 'find a doctor'?

Why is my heart so bent out of shape?

pintapicasso — Fri, 03 May 2013 09:22:34 -0800

I went on two dates with a guy and we clicked so hard. I ended it because he's recently separated from his wife and I'm moving out of state. WHY do I feel so torn up? It's only been two dates! I asked this guy out a few weeks ago. He told me up front that he has been separated from his wife for one month, she is in the process of moving out, and she is dating another woman. We connected so well and ended up talking like old friends for 6 hours. I got out of a relationship in December and this is my first foray back into dating. I wanted to keep it casual, but I really liked this guy and I know he was surprised at how strongly we connected too.
Then I got an interview for a job I applied to out of state. It has been my plan to leave in the next few months which terrifies me as I've never lived out of state but I feel like it's something I owe myself to do. So after hanging out with this friend one more time I broke it off because I felt like I was really wanting to become close with him, but his recent breakup (and the normal roller coaster of emotion that comes with it) plus my impending move made it not in the cards. I know that I would not be happy with a more casual relationship with this guy. He was very very sad and we both lamented that we couldn't fast forward in time.
However I feel disproportionately shitty. I mean we went out twice! Im moving to a cool place with tons of awesome and more available guys. I can't figure out why I feel like this. I don't know if it's the excitement of meeting someone I connected with and the unfairness of the situation which forced me to make a decision that is the OPPPOSITE of what I really want to do, which is date him.
I talked to my friends who all gave the usual, you are awesome, there's other fish in the sea. But I don't want the other ones! Part of me wants to stay right here and wait it out with this guy, but I can't take a chance on it.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Looking at getting through the next few days feels impossibly sad. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I think what I'm looking for is reassurance that I did the right thing because I am not so sure.

Philadelphia Cheesesteaks, the Zoo, a CSA, and...?

cacao — Wed, 01 May 2013 14:04:18 -0800

Please help me settle into Philadelphia. Moving to Philadelphia. Please help me fall in love. What's your favorite thing about this city? What are your favorite places to go? Some of the stuff we do together (pretty normal stuff I guess, I feel boring just writing this): going to the movies, spending time in parks and gardens, going out for dinner (bars are ok but I need recommendations based on FOOD not drink), going to cafes with good European style coffee, going to really good bookstores, experiencing multicultural things. I would love to join some club type stuff too, and am particularly interested in resources for entrepreneurs.

Tell me what I need to do to love it here. What are the best ways to make friends? I'm here with my husband, we're both in our mid to late twenties. SUPER BONUS POINTS for recommendations for your favorite area CSA- I'm finding listings but it's hard to pick one quickly just off of what I find on the internet.

We're in the Fairmount area. I know that there are a dozen mini-questions embedded in this, but it's all about helping me integrate into Philadelphia as soon as possible. Thank you!!!

Yet another question about moving to Boston...

rapidadverbssuck — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:00:41 -0800

My partner and I are moving to Boston! We would like to live in an up-and-coming area (as opposed to "established," getting the most space for our limited budget) close to public transportation, but are having some difficulty determining which areas are safe and fit our lifestyle. We enjoy going out to eat, but we aren't big drinkers. We also enjoy long rambling walks and want to be able to safely explore our neighborhood at night. And we will have one car, but one of us will be depending exclusively on public transportation for getting around the city.

1) We are mainly looking for apartments in the $1500-$2000 range in Brookline, Jamaica Plain, Fenway, Somerville, and Southie. Which streets in these neighborhoods are the most desirable? Coolidge Corner, Davis Square, and Centre Street (in JP) have all been recommended and all seem very popular. Which streets are up-and-coming? For example, we have heard good things about East and West Broadway in Southie. Which streets are best avoided? Are there other neighborhoods that we should consider?

2) Also, what websites do you find the most useful for apartment hunting? We've been using Zillow, Craigslist, and Padmapper. Are we overlooking any useful tools? Would it be worthwhile to look at local papers?

3) Lastly, when should we schedule our apartment hunting trip to maximize the number of attractive apartments available on September 1. For instance, will the majority of September 1 apartments be available now, later in May, or in June?

Help me have a higher quality of life living with the parents this time!

signondiego — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:30:44 -0800

Two nights from now I will be back living with the parents on the other end of the country. Help me turn this into a positive experience. What worked for you? I moved across the country three months ago. I did something I was told by many to be possible, which was move across the country without a job and not knowing a soul. I succeeded in every way: I landed a full-time job quickly doing the same thing I did back home, and also working in my target neighborhood for my target company. It was easy.

Though everything is working out here, I've made the decision to move back home and live with my parents for now. My former employer there is giving me my job back as soon as I land, so I can just pick up where I left off. I still have most of my savings.

A big part of the reason for me moving back home is that I've been struggling with depression and anxiety issues for the past five or so years, and I feel that I have to face them head on before moving forward with my life. And I have a better chance of doing that back home.

But my mind is the clearest and cleanest it's been in a very long time. Even so, I'm going to be seeing a therapist after I'm back, something I was so ignorant to in the past.

But this question is not really about those issues. I want to have a higher quality of life for as long as I'm living with the parents. I'm definitely not the same person I was before I moved, for the better. I've heard of people moving back home temporarily to find their true calling, to take a deep look at theirselves, etc. And I want to do just that, I believe that I can emerge from all this a happy person.

What worked for you? What are some things you suggest that got you excited about waking up every day during this weird time of your life?

Let me give a bit of background on my situation at home. When I was living there before, I was waiting for everything to happen. Everything was building up to my cross-country move. I wasn't enjoying life there at all. Now I realize that I could have done different things to make life more enjoyable there.

This on the edge of the city limits of a medium-size American city/in the suburbs. I don't know how to drive but I have everything I need within a 2-to-4 mile radius: work, a nice outdoor shopping mall with a bar, movie theater, bunch of shops and restaurants, gym, etc.

I have no friends in the area, aside from co-workers that I mingle with there. Most of the people in this area are very old-fashioned and stuck in their ways, so it's hard to make friends.

My life here before was mainly just going to work and going home. Every now and then I went out, once a week or so.

In my situation, what can I do to have a more enjoyable life here and stop myself from going stir crazy? I'm definitely going to learn how to drive, go to therapy, etc. And I'm just going to make things happen, and make steps towards being who I want to be instead of putting them off.

Should I just try to get out more? Exercise daily? I'm a writer and do a lot of writing, maybe just try do those things at a cafe or something?

Also, as a side question: how can I handle dealing with people when I get back? Everyone will assume I came back because I couldn't handle or make it out there, but that's not the case at all. And I really don't want to say the real reason. Would saying "It's personal" suffice?

I definitely don't plan on being here long-term. This is just while I get my shit together. So how can I turn this into something positive?

Oh, and my parents are pretty chill. Same problems anyone has with their parents, though.

Considering moving from the NE and wonder about Durham NC

privatechef — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:48:16 -0800

We are a couple in our mid-50's and are looking for some specific things in our next move; more temperate weather than the North East where we are now; progressive thinking people, good food and a thriving food scene, ability to buy a house for less than $350K, low property taxes ( less than $5K) within driving distance (45 minutes is the max) to a major airport and open-minded people. We are both entrepreneurial and active, love the outdoors and nature and want a small yard for a garden and to be near some kind of water be it a large lake, river or coast. We are considering Portland Ore. or Durham NC. We are still working and work for ourselves. Anyone have an opinion on either or both?

Moving to NY: How's my game plan? And other questions.

windbox — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:12:03 -0800

The job part is secured. Now on to the "living there" part. Where should I live for $1200 or under, and how should I go about achieving this living situation? I know, you saw the $1200 price point and were ready to crush my dreams. So let me just make it clear that yes, I am looking for a room in a shared living situation and not my own apartment/studio.

My work will be smack in the middle of the area Google Maps calls "Hudson Square" - it's a couple blocks from the Hudson st. 1 and the Spring st C/E, and maybe a half mile or so from all the lines on W. 4th st - not sure if that hike would get old, though.

I want to live somewhere that is safe and also has some stuff going on - it does not have to be the epicenter of everything hip and awesome, but I would prefer not to live in a wasteland of only crappy bodegas and fast food joints. A few cool bars, restaurants, and a healthy population of young people would be nice. I'd also like to try and keep the commute at 30 minutes or under. Sorry to everyone in Inwood and Washington Heights - it's too far, I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I guess I should try to be living either somewhere on the west side of the city, or on the C somewhere in Brooklyn - like Boerum Hill, Clinton Hill (around the Clinton-Washington or Lafayette stops)...what else am I missing? I see a whole lot more listings around Franklin ave, I guess that's more Bed-Stuy right? What's that like these days? From my sheltered internet research it seems like it's still sort of barren with maybe a tiny smattering of neat stuff, but overall not what I'm looking for. Again, please correct me if I'm wrong.

My plan: To sublet a place for the last two weeks of May while I scour craigslist and be ready to accept a June opening on the spot. I'd have all my credit reports, bank statements, etc together and ready to prove I'm not a bum.

Sorry, this is all over the place. I guess I'm trying to figure out if my plan is a good one (or if I'll need more time, or if there are other resources I'm missing besides craigslist), if my neighborhoods are within my budget, if there are any neighborhoods I'm missing or if some of my assumptions are completely incorrect and I'm going about this all wrong.

Any other advice - things you wished you did when you first tried to move here, 2013 edition - is also greatly appreciated.

Working as a massage therapist in Vermont

Fermin — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 20:29:30 -0800

Hi! I´m planning to move from Uruguay to the US around the end of the year. This will probably be the preface of many questions to come (as these two countries couldn´t be any more different). I still have to decide exactly where in the US to live, so please help me decide. My reason to move is to be able to participate in more of a series of workshops that happen a lot in NYC, Philly, Toronto, and Montreal, so I want to be close to those cities (closer to Montreal, where there is a special person I want to visit and be visited by often). In my situation it´s harder to get a working permit for Canada, so my most realistic choices are in the US. I´ve been reading and googling, and Vermont sounds (in general) like my type of place.

Being months away I´m trying to plan as much as I can, and to figure out some minimum savings to take with me to settle there, so I want to get an idea of the cost of living. I´ve been looking at house rentals on Craiglist and see some great differences in the prices. From that point of view it would be more convenient not to rent in Burlington, but sparser population can make it harder for me to get a decent income.

I´m training as a circle dance instructor and a doula, but my main source of income right now is as a massage therapist. While I don´t discard the possibility of working for a spa or a hotel if I need to, I would rather work on my own (I normally take between an hour and a half and two hours per massage, I wouldn´t like to do 30 or 45 minutes massages), so I would depend a lot on the people that would be willing to drive to my place. So here comes my question to you Vermonters.

How far would you drive if someone recommended you a good massage therapist (or doctor, or lawyer, or any other professional whose services you may need)?

If I were to move to, let´s say, Middlesex, would it be realistic to expect people from Burlington to go there (after proper advertising and mouth to mouth, I know how to be known)? Or at least from Montpelier? What if it wasn´t in a town or city but out in the country?

And quite related to that, is there some zoning rule that would prevent me from having my practice at my home? And if there is, is it actually enforced? It´s not like I would bother my neighbours. I "may" want to put up a small sign outside.

Thanks a lot for any answers or advice you can share with me.

Thinking of moving to Asheville. Scouting soon.

fivesavagepalms — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 08:14:23 -0800

Do you have suggestions? Should we do it? Where? In town? Farther out? Way out in the country? Neighborhoods to check and things to look out for? We'd be moving from Florida and we know, from having lived in coastal NC a few years ago, that we'd face a different financial picture. State income taxes but lower property taxes, higher home prices, etc.

Our needs are modest. So are our resources.

I'm a semi-retired writer, she's an artist still working part-time day jobs. We'd be looking for a house with grace and style, quiet surroundings (no barking dogs, screaming children, thumping boomboxes, roaring Harleys, churches with bad rock bands). The more trees the better. A hill would be nice. With a creek, even nicer.

It would be nice to walk downtown for coffee. But it would also be nice to live in the country, have a workshop and studio in the old barn, and raise chickens and goats. We don't know which would be nicer. (At our age you'd think we would, but we don't.) (Gives you an idea of our stage in the decision process.)

Not a new house, not a new neighborhood.

To give you a further idea of the range of our tastes, we might be happy with any of these:

An arts and crafts bungalow in a serene old neighborhood with oak-shaded streets.

A smallish cabin on a hill on a dirt road, with a mountain view and space to add a big kitchen (we cook) and a creek. Usable outbuildings.

An abandoned old motel on a disused road, with a creek in back--the kind of place that had six or eight little clapboard cabins that I could move around the lot and re-purpose as separate rooms: one a kitchen, one a bedroom, a couple of studios, two combined as a living room, etc. Perfection would include a nifty 1940s neon sign out front ("Bates Motel"?). (One can dream.)

We probably can't afford our ideas, but who can? So of course we'll compromise.

Any ideas on how to think about this?

Areas to look into?

Recommend a sophisticated, ethical buyers' agent?

Beyond this, I'll leave it open-ended and be grateful for any help you can offer. You've provided smart advice before and maybe you can do that again. Seems to be a lot of Asheville knowledge on the green.

Thanks a lot!

Landlord does not want tenant to have the carpets professionally cleaned

lilacp — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:14:37 -0800

She is willing to pay for it. We (her friends, who are staging an intervention of sorts) feel landlord is being ridiculous. I'm asking on her behalf because 1) I'm taking this sooo personally because I don't think the situation is fair; This to me is no longer about a mouse, it's about a control freak landlord, but anyway. and 2) I also don't think it can wait for her to sign up on AskMeFi and wait the one week it takes for her to ask it herself. Way forward? My friend moved into an apartment six months ago. She seems to love it. A little over a week ago, she saw a mouse. She is not an animal person at all - and even if she was, it's a mouse, ew! - and this freaked her out. She called her landlord, who then said she would get traps. The question was, "Who will remove the traps when the mice die in there?" Eventually, they found traps where she wouldn't have to see the mouse and soon, the mouse was caught.

My friend wanted to get Orkin to check out the place and see if there were any holes in the apartment. Her landlord refused, stating that it was just one mouse. She also wanted to get the carpets professionally cleaned. This apartment was renovated recently and while it's not all that in my view, it's reasonably clean and quite honestly better than many I've seen. The landlord vetoed Orkin and the carpet cleaning. Per my friend, who decided to get pots of peppermint plants to deter any mice, the landlord said there is slab under the carpets and she doesn't want a mold situation. The landlord suggested a carpet cleaner who supposedly "don't move furniture." What the heck is the point of that, mice run along walls so they would need to get behind there, wouldn't they? (please advise if wrong.) My friend is willing to pay to get the apartment cleaned; all she needs is the landlord's approval. All her coworkers, me included, have said "Just get a rug doctor," but she says her principles will not let her go behind her landlord's back now that she knows the landlord would rather not have the carpets shampooed.

To me, this is absolutely ridiculous. The landlord seems to be pressuring her to sign a lease termination agreement and move. My friend, who is single (ie unmarried but recently started seeing someone), would have to get a new apartment, movers, etc, within 30 days which can be quite difficult out here.

She looked at the lease termination agreement and sent it to me this morning. Guess what one requirement on the termination agreement was? "Carpets vacuumed and SHAMPOOED - $75."

Is it me or is this ridiculous? I have told my friend to either just get a rug doctor or get a lawyer to mediate so that her landlord can let her clean the apartment and let the landlord pay any court fees. My friend is reasonably clean - we say her living spaces always smell like good food and a hospital. She's busy and she sent me a picture of the apartment and it is far, FAR from favorable conditions for a mouse.

Anyway. What are your thoughts on the way forward? Is my friend's request to hav ethe carpets cleaned at her own expense as complicated as the landlord is making it seem? Why do I get the feeling a lawyer would change the situation drastically? How does this work, legally?

**Update** Text from my friend: "I asked her about the shampooed carpet requirement. She said 'you have to vacuum not shampoo, I attached amended copy." [of the agreement]

Fishy much?

I'm bored with my remote online job, in a town. Should I move to a city?

molloy — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:40:30 -0800

I am wondering whether to move from a small town to a big city to boost my career. My partner has been offered a job in London, but is on the fence, 50/50, and is looking to me for the swing vote. Her salary, after London costs, would be about the same as it is now. So it's really down to me.

I am currently running a small online business in the coastal town of London, (Brighton). It's easy, pays well, I only have to work one or two days a week, but I don't feel motivated to grow it at all and I do worry about not investing in a career path at all. I am 33 so don't know what else i could/woud do. It just seems crazy to run an online business from central London that I could run anywhere. On the other hand, I do like the idea of looking for new kinds of work and perhaps being on the ground in the city would accelerate that process.

The only jobs I seem qualified for after running a small online business for 6 years, are marketing/sales type roles. Most digital roles indicate they prefer 'fresh' candidates. I get a feeling that if I was 'on the ground' I might have access to more unusual roles. But I'm rubbish with networking.

I like my town, but it's very laid back, and most people here focus more on the life side of the work/life balance. But that rubs off on me I think. IS it crazy to think that being surrounded by busy driven focused people, will make me more focused and driven?

Another thing I worry about, is that I have tried moving to the city twice for a couple of weeks or so, but both times hurried back to the coast with my tail between my legs after being uninspired by the immediate options. But I'm thinking if I commit to a 6 month contract I'd have no choice but to explore more options, as it would very expensive to live and whilst I can probably afford to cover the rent for 6 months, the pressure would be productive I hope.

But why put myself through the stress, when I can just commute up in 50 minutes? Perhaps the stress is the point, though. Perhaps stress brings out the best in people?

Moving to Edmonton in a few months, what do I need to know?

meesha — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 11:11:28 -0800

Tell me everything I need to know about moving to Edmonton. Best job placement agencies? How easy is it to get into an entry-level trade position? Best places to rent (cheaply)? And any and all other info Edmonton-based mefites can provide is much appreciated... Boyfriend and I are planning to move to Edmonton in mid-June.

Neither of us will have jobs when we get there. Boyfriend has a high school diploma, is looking to get into a trade. I have a university degree, federal government experience, and a functional knowledge of French. What can we expect from the job market? Are there placement agencies we should look into? Can he just walk in to a shop off the street and ask for an entry level job?

How easy is it to find decent but inexpensive rentals? Which areas of the city should we avoid? We'd like to rent for July 1, but how difficult will it be to rent w/o employment?

We are both from NWOntario, so we're not worried about the weather or the winter driving, but is there anything else that we should know that is specific to living in Edmonton?

Moving to Chicago. Help?

lunastellasol — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:48:46 -0800

Where to live, what am I overlooking, huge step and pivotal moment in my life. I need to know where to look for apartments for rent in Chicago in a safe, student friendly neighborhood that won't cost a fortune. I appreciate the time to read all of this, I will try my best to be somewhat concise.

My SO recently moved to Illinois to attend SO's dream school. I fell in love with Chicago and can no longer handle the LD part of our relationship, so I am making the move for us to be together. I am fairly certain SO is my life partner and "soul mate" (whatever this means to you, basically we're in it for the long haul) We are in our mid-20's and have been together 4 years so we're both on the same page in regards to the usual deal-breakers, life circumstances, kids, etc. All of that is taken care of so any advice on that aspect is not needed for the most part. We're both under the agreement at this time that we'll do whatever it takes to be together and are fairly certain that this move is the next step in our relationship.

Right now, the advice I'm needing is where to live? The beginning of August is the time frame we would like to move in to an apartment. SO is currently attending Columbia College and I will be attending the University of Illinois. I have been looking at places near Lincoln Park and the Gold Coast area, but they are pretty expensive and don't seem student friendly (but feel free to recommend if you know otherwise). I have been told of a few neighborhoods such as Edgewater and Wrigleyville or something like that, but since I am not in Chicago and SO recently moved, we're both fairly clueless. What we are hoping for is a place close to both of our respective colleges. SO currently has a job, I will hopefully have a job lined up before I move, but some savings should keep us afloat until I do.

~Preferably a location that is close to the train and bus stops. Some walking is ok, but not anything over a few blocks, a safe neighborhood is a must.

~Rent preferably around $1200 or less, one bedroom, any paid utilities (preferably heat), W/D are a definite plus! (Very important, but I would compromise for a laundry facility if the rent is cheaper) We don't have pets, or need parking spaces, or anything like that.

Looking for a reputable landlord and a location that is student friendly and safe. I am wary of the street violence and/or gangs and am concerned to be living in a neighborhood that that will not be an issue or something to be actively concerned with every time I walk out the door. I know most places advertise on the building and that is the only avenue to let people know that they are available to rent, but I would like to know from personal experience where to go that would not be shady. I know the suburbs might be nice but what would the commute look like? Any advice or help is appreciated.

Cross-country move... how does it work?

duien — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 13:20:11 -0800

My fiancé and I are planning a cross-country move for the first week in May. We're planning to book a moving company for our stuff, fly ourselves, and ... somehow get our three cats there. The logistics of arranging all these things is just baffling to me. [yes, the required cat pictures have been included] My current assumptions are that we'll fly out the same day our lease starts and just make sure we have an early enough flight to get there before the office closes. We'll have the movers load all our stuff the day before that, and then we'll presumably be without stuff for the first week we're there. My biggest concern is the logistics of getting the cats there.

I've looked at a few options for transporting the cats. Two are young (3 and 8) and healthy, one is old (17) but healthy for her age. The first option we're looking at is having them flow out as cargo. Some cursory research shows that cargo (vs. checked luggage) is pressurized and temperature controlled, so would probably be less bad than flying them as checked luggage, which I understand is pretty horrible. I'm looking at Delta for this, currently, since we're flying out of a Delta hub. If we went this route, we could also potentially carry the older cat on the plane and just put the younger two in cargo. The other option we're looking at is hiring a pet transport company that would drive them cross-country in cages in a van. I'm not sure how much this would cost, and whether it would be more or less stressful for them, overall. It would certainly be stressful for longer. Before going with any of these transport options, we will of course have our vet check out the cats and make sure it seems Ok. The vet seemed initially encouraging about flying them as cargo, which is why it's on the list as an option.

So, I'm looking for advice specifically about transporting cats cross-country without driving them ourselves. Any suggestions I haven't thought of, or information about the options I'm considering would be welcome.

I'm also looking for any other advice about scheduling a cross-country move like this. I've never done it before, and am quite intimidated. Does the movers/flight schedule sound reasonable? Is there a better way to arrange that? What else am I not thinking of?