Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with move

Moving to college town, sight unseen

fugitivefromchaingang — Fri, 17 May 2013 06:52:10 -0800

Can you suggest where to live--or where to avoid living--in Blacksburg, Virginia, and its environs? My husband got a job offer at Virginia Tech and after much discussion we've decided to make the move from Austin to Southwest Virginia. However, we're both very busy right now and I highly doubt that either of us can make a quick trip there to scout out housing.

Someone who lives there has offered to check out any place we find online and at least make sure it's not falling down or full of spiders or something. But if possible I'd love to hear from any of you who live in the area or have lived there, and who could make recommendations. We actually found our Austin apartment thanks to an AskMetafilter post three years ago, and we have been very happy with it and have lived here for all three years.

How's living in Christiansburg? Where is the undergraduate ghetto (so we can avoid it)? What else should we know? I realize Blacksburg/Montgomery County is pretty tiny, so maybe this question is unnecessary... but would like to just see what the Internet yields, and get any insight I can.

About us: we're both 30 years old and don't want to be living in an area with too high a concentration of frat boys or sorority girls. I still need to find a job there, so we don't want to rent anything too expensive. We are a gay couple, though I don't know that matters at all for the purposes of this question. And we like nature and the outdoors.

Roommate have right to renew lease and, if so, how to ask her to leave?

AlmondEyes — Tue, 07 May 2013 17:41:30 -0800

I live in a two-bedroom apt in Cambridge, MA. I have lived here since Sept '10 and current roommate ("CR") has lived here since Sept '12. The dynamic between CR and I is not so hot. I'm also just very much wanting to live alone and finally able to afford it. During a recent, difficult conversation with CR about apt stuff, I mentioned that I will be moving out in Sept (when our lease ends) to find my own 1-bedroom apt. In the same conversation, she told me that she will also move out in Sept. At first she said that she'd like to find an apt with laundry, but later in the day she clarified that she may actually move out of the Boston area altogether.

Since then (a few weeks ago), I have done some preliminary apt-searching and realize that 1-bedrooms apt are only marginally more expensive than my current well-priced 2-bedroom, which I LOVE. I called my landlord to ask if he and his wife would be receptive to my staying after Sept and keeping the whole place for myself. He said yes, that he would like that, though also asked what CR's plans are.

The idea of staying in my current home is my clear first choice. The common spaces are predominantly furnished with my things and, moreover, I consider it home. My next step, therefore, is to follow-up with CR to confirm that she plans to move out by Sept. I've been doomsaying about the possibility that CR has considered staying in the apt, too, and finding a new roommate since she learned/thinks I am moving.

I'd like to prepare for the follow-up conversation should it go like this:
Me: "Hi CR. Since we last talked about the apt and you mentioned your plan to move, I've actually reconsidered and decided that I'd like to stay and rent the whole place out for myself.
CR: "Oh wow, you know I've reconsidered, too, and would also like to stay and find a new roommate since you said you were leaving."
Me: HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN...WHAT DO I SAY, MEFITES? Thinking something along the lines of, "well, I'd feel badly about asking you to move, but since I've been here longer would you consider it?" I think it goes without saying that we don't want to live together another year. I don't want to ask her permission ("would you consider it?"), but am not sure of my rights, and don't want to be a total asshole despite very anti-social behavior on her part throughout the year.

So, essentially, is it reasonable to pull rank? Also, my lease has a clause about Self-Renewal: "On or before July 1, 2013 and, if applicable, on or before July 1 of succeeding years, Lessors shall give written notice to lessee of any rent increase for the following year. This lease shall then be in effect for the next year at the indicated rent, unless prior to July 1, lessee(s) give written notice of intent to terminate."

Does this entitle her to renew the lease?

What are my options legally? How can I get this to work out to my advantage (specific phrasing for dreaded conversation much appreciated)? Should I ask my landlord to get involved if neither one of us wants to move out? Thank you!

Where are the best places in LA to live with a family?

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 08:29:22 -0800

You're considering a move to Los Angeles for a job in Irvine. You and your (stay-at-home) wife are both in your early 30s, and have two young (under two years old) children. You were raised in the midwest, and prefer the suburbs. You want to live in an area that has lots of other young families and easy access to eating and shopping and preschools and other things like that. You don't want to spend more than 30 minutes or so commuting. You want to spend about $3,000 per month on rent for a 3+ bedroom single-family-home (or condo, you suppose). What areas of Los Angeles do you focus on?

How can my British self and Thai wife move to Canada?

asharchist — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 02:05:57 -0800

I'm a British 25 year old Computer Science graduate working as a Software Developer in the South East, UK. I will soon be married to my 24 year old Thai girlfriend, who'll graduate soon with a Masters degree from a British university. We'd like to eventually move to Canada, but since there are several options of how to go about this I'd like to know the best way without us spending much time apart. Any suggestions of which city/province to relocate to and any preparations we can make now, if we want to move within the next 2 years, are welcomed.

Living in Luxembourg on less than 3000 euro a month

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:22:59 -0800

I received a job offer in Luxembourg. Is 45,000 Euros per year (gross) enough of a salary to have a decent lifestyle in Luxembourg city? Would it be isolating for a single person in their late 20s? More details: the job offer also includes a one-time payment for moving overseas that would fully cover the costs.
The job itself and the people seem great, but after researching the cost of living online (haven't actually been there yet) I'm not sure that the salary of 50,000 euros will be enough. I think it will be a little less than 3000 euros net after taxes etc.

Currently I am feeling very isolated in the place I'm living, and my work environment is extremely toxic (ongoing harassment, no chance for promotion). I hoped for the chance to go to a new place, but the salary is less than I hoped. I have already tried to negotiate, but this is their offer.

I am also worried that I would be jumping from one kind of isolation to another. From what I can see, most of the expats living there are married with children. I am single, but hoping the move would be a chance to make many new friends. I am also looking to "settle down" sometime in the next few years.

My requirements for a decent lifestyle are a cozy home (with no bugs plz), a gym membership, salon cut and coloring every other month, and at least a couple of chances to travel per year. Considering these factors, would a salary of 45,000 euro be enough for someone in my situation?

Submitting anonymously because my posting history would give me away, but I can be contacted at the throwaway account droplemon8@gmail.com

Advice about Muskegon, MI

Anonymous — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 14:48:17 -0800

My SO has a really good job offer lined up in Muskegon, MI and we are in the process of deciding if we should move there. What is great about Muskegon? What sort of advice/experience/opinions can you share with us about the area? I currently do not have a job lined up, but work in healthcare. How is the local economy? Should he/we commute from Grand Rapids (a city we love!) or from somewhere in between? We had a very short visit for his interview and wasn't able to get a good feel for the city/area, so we appreciate any advice you would like to share.

About us: We are coming from the south but grew up in the snowy north, so the issue of winter weather doesn't bother us; I know a lot of people are going to chime in with SNOW MY GOD, but we are fine with it. We in our early 30s and have no kids, but will probably try soon. We enjoy the outdoors, parks, art, culture, running, music, and local farm markets. Thanks!

Help figuring out whose in the right about a prorate move out date

lpcxa0 — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 18:16:13 -0800

Moving out this weekend, management company wants to charge me until new tenet moves in - whose in the right? I'm currently living in Minnesota, Minneapolis area. An apartment I had rented is set to end in March, however I gave permission to show and rent to a new tenet with a move in date of ASAP. My management company called today and stated that a new lease was set to begin 3/11 however the company is requesting that I be out by 3/3 to allow for their needed repairs and to flip the apartment. I also set the official move out walkthrough for 3/3, however the management company is stating that first, the prorate March rent will not be issued until the end of April and more importantly, that they are going to charge me rent until 3/10 (I give up all access to my apartment and the building after the walkthrough on 3/3) which I'm not sure if this is legal.

What are my rights in this situation? I've read through my state's tenet laws but wasn't able to find anything related to this.

Ideally, what should I be earning to live "comfortably" in Portland, OR?

Young Kullervo — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 12:31:36 -0800

Hello, people of Portland! Is $50,000 a year enough to live on comfortably in your city? I know, rather specific number, yes? I've been itching (like many people in their mid 20s to mid 30s) to make the pilgrimage to Portland, OR for a change of scenery and a boost in general inspiration. I've been searching the area for jobs in my field (research analyst) which generally pay around $50 to $55 grand a year with the added benefit of subsidized health insurance. That sounds like a nice number to ME, however, I currently live in a city that has a cost of living that is well below the national average (although this is changing given it is becoming the "next Portland" according to some...).

Currently I earn around $41 a year and I am able to save money each month. I checked a few websites that compare cities based on their cost-of-living averages and I believe that to keep my current standard of living I would need to earn between $48-53,000 a year in Portland, but that doesn't really tell me much. I just know everything is far more expensive.

To define comfortable: To be able to rent an nice apartment/house/condo in an area that is not "dodgy" and to be able to afford staples (food/transportation/utilities/Internet/health care, etc.) while squirreling away a bit for clothes, entertainment and maybe savings.

I know, you can't know how much my personal expenses are currently or what they will be in the future, so I wager what salary a person needs depends entirely on what they shill out every month for health care expenses, debts, etc. I don't live "high on the hog" but I also don't live paycheck to paycheck. I don't take any regular medications, I don't have cable, don't drink or smoke, I tend to be very frugal with food, but I do have student loans that will eventually need repaying (maybe $400 a month?). I also like to splurge on "nice" things every so often, like dining out, clothes, coffee or what not, but never anything I would define as extravagant. I do not own a car, but I share one with my partner.

I suppose my general question is, is it even a good idea to consider a move to Portland for a job that pays $50-55,000? Would I be just scraping by on that amount or would I be able to stay afloat and maybe actually ENJOY living there?

Thanks in advance!

Best way to transport a bike?

nathanm — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:07:37 -0800

What is the best/most economical way to transport a bike without driving it? I am trying to move a bike from LA to SF.

Can I talk like a sailor at the happiest place on Earth

phytage — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 18:20:01 -0800

Thirty something professional leaves it all behind to try to work at Disney World. Am I taking crazy pills?!? I'm a graphic designer now in Michigan, ended up here in a bad twist of events and have been wanting to move on for more than 2 years. I have had a dream to work at Disney since I was a kid. I have read horror stories online and I have talked to "cast members" in the parks... Can I adapt to living at minimum wage again at this age (35)? Can I even get a job at Disney? I have not worked in the hospitality industry - ever.
I have purchased a travel trailer that I can move into and pretty much take anywhere. I am fearful that I will be stuck in another horrible place with no chance of advancement. Which is better in the current economy FL or CA?
Anyone know the real odds of getting into Imagineering without a Bachelors degree or completing the Disney college internship?
People I know say that this is all crazy. I am making a great living here in MI but I am so much more liberal that this area allows. I need to find people IRL.
Plan so far: sell my crap; move into travel trailer with cats - turtle - husband; move to coast; find job; enjoy.

There's something missing in my house.

Pericardium — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 01:00:54 -0800

My partner has temporarily moved out due to financial difficulty. Does the pain ever end? She had her car repossessed and they're auctioning it Monday. Today she came home, told me her Mom said she would lend her the $1100 but only under the condition that she move back in. She's gone now.

We're a homosexual couple and her Mom didn't approve, which is probably the main reason for that ultimatum. I'm trying to come up with the money to help but with the short time frame (she would need it before she goes to work tomorrow at 8am, nothing's going to be open in time) things are looking grim.

I don't know what to do. I feel as if this is the worst pain I've ever been in. Her things are still here and she's coming to pick them up later. I now have to find another place to stay because I can't stay in our home by myself - it hurts too much. It was the first place we chose together, signed the lease together. The first place that wasn't "well she's over so often and oh her toothbrush and clothes are here so we kinda live together."

But it hurts to even think of seeing her, going out on dates, things of that sort. It hurts that we won't wake up together anymore, we won't have dinner or lunch together, we won't stay up late at night watching TV, having pillow talk, making love anything. She'll have a set time she has to be home and I know from experiences that her Mom isn't going to want her staying here too frequently (we went through that before we moved in together) and I doubt she'll defy that because her Mom is helping her.

I don't know how to deal. I've never felt like this before. The thought of seeing her again, hugging her, anything just hurts too much. I'm hurt that she didn't want to stay and try to work out sharing a vehicle. I feel like she broke up our family unit, something we were building together. I told her I could take care of the rent, bills, groceries and what-not until she got back on her feet, but she doesn't want me to do that and that won't help her get her car back in time anyway.

I just need to know how to cope. Some nights I can't fall asleep without her. Our schedules are so different and we usually only had time together between school and work. I'd wait up for her and we'd cuddle and talk and fall asleep together. Now she's so far away that most of that time will be gone. Also, I'm alone... in our home together... with all of her things. And I'll either be here when she picks them up or I'll come home one day and it'll all be gone. She tells me she wants to move back in together when she gets on her feet financially... but knowing her finances, I don't know when or if that will happen. She'll be done with school this month, but she owes them money. So she has to pay her Mom off, then that off... then what if she decides she doesn't want to move back in together until after she finishes law school? She said it would be under a year but I feel like this is the end for us. I'm afraid that I'll wait... and wait... and wait... and wait...

Part of me is furious with her for letting her payments get that far behind and not taking action before something like this happened. Part of me is furious with myself for not saying sooner, "Hey, let me help you out with this month's payment." I knew she was behind, I just never thought anything like this would happen. She'd have needed $300 or so dollars to catch up. I wish I could go back in time and offer it to her. I feel like I was selfish - I lent her money for her car payments before via credit card and it was like yanking teeth just to get her to make a payment on that every month. So when she told me she was behind I didn't speak up, and now I feel like, she was my partner. I should have helped her anyway. I should have thought of us the way I wanted her to tonight - as a partnership who goes through tough times together. I should have offered to pay her share of the bills for a month or two so she could focus on her car, and told her not to worry about paying me back. Anything.

I'm sorry for the rambling. It's hard to describe the pain I'm in right now. It feels different from a break up because there's no closure. She still wants to be together, but I don't even know if I can handle that. I told her on the phone I didn't think I could handle it and we were done. She asked me to wait and see how I feel once I've given the pain time and I've agreed.

But still, how do I go to sleep at night without her? How do I wake up in the morning with her not there next to me? How do I look in the dresser and see only my stuff? How do I pick out a Christmas tree, alone? How do I forgive her? I realize that in her scenario she probably felt like she had no other option. She needs her car to get to work and school, and sharing would help but we don't know if that would work long term. She told me it broke her heart too and that she wanted to marry me someday and to please understand. She actually said the words, "please be my wife [someday?]" and I said... nothing. But moved out so suddenly... She came home, I thought everything was fine. She told me. Then an hour later she was gone for good. I cried hysterically the whole time. I feel hysterical. I feel alone. I'm lucky that I have the weekend off because I don't know if I would have it in me to go to work tomorrow.

I feel it would actually be -less- painful if she had moved back due to relationship problems. People separate all the time, there's support groups for that, I'm sure I could buy a book. That would make sense to me. This doesn't. How do I help myself heal? Thank you, if you've gotten this far.

Dealing with ALL THE THINGS

sockpuppet yo — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 07:47:17 -0800

We broke up. The lease is ending. I'm ready to move. There's one big problem. He won't come get his stuff! It's been eight months since he moved out without a word, three since I finally woke up and realized that life could be so much better not together and finally cut the cord. But his things are still in the house and I'm starting to panic about what to do with them.

- There are a variety of items, from large (tool chests, etc.) to smaller things. I've boxed everything that can be boxed. Total it's maybe a small studio apartment's worth of stuff. Probably nothing extremely valuable.
- There is a vintage car that I don't feel comfortable driving.
- There's nothing big/valuable left with disputable ownership (he took most of that stuff without discussion. I am fine with that.)
- He is living in a temporary situation near by without a lot of storage space.
- It's become really clear to me over the last few months that he's not a very reasonable person. I do not trust him to handle this in any way that makes life not-shitty for me.
- I would rather not totally screw him, which throwing his stuff out or onto the street would probably do.
- I have been asking him for months to deal with this or at least tell me what his plan is. Nothing ever happens. And now there's been radio silence for a week.

I'm moving on Saturday, the lease ends on Thursday the 15th. I have Sunday and Monday off and was planning to tie up loose ends and clean the old place those days.

So far my plan is to get a storage unit, pay for one month, put his things in it, and mail him the key. Is this a sound plan? Is there any way I could not have to deal with it physically myself - like, can I get movers to move things into a storage unit? Any other ideas to get him to respond or take care of it himself? And what do I do about his car?

Mind my money.

Anonymous — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 12:18:28 -0800

I have a growing chunk of money in my checking account. I've paid off my student loans and don't have credit card debt. What's the most responsible way to manage this money? Does a potential major move affect the analysis? I don't know ANYTHING about money or investing and don't have any older mentory/advisey people in my life so I turn to the green.

I'm a 27 year old attorney in Houston. I am a second-year associate at a small firm, a trial boutique. I finished paying off my student loans in April. My firm matches 401k contributions to a small extent. I'm contributing the max amount to my 401k, I think. I have no idea how the 401k money is invested because I was out of the office the day they had someone come in to talk to us about that. I don't have any credit card debt and pay off the full amount each month. I'm not married. I don't have a car or any car payments; I am debt-free. I make 160k. I have no idea what the bonus will be.

Complicating factor? I am seriously considering moving to San Francisco in 2014 if I can find a comparable job. I know I have a long time to look. I know how horribly high the cost of living in SF is. (I know a billion people there from college and I only know just a few co-workers and alums of my law school in Houston, and I work too much to meet more people. I don't see this changing, and I think once it gets to the point where I need to have clients, living somewhere where I know many people will be very useful to me). I also don't like Houston and yearn to move back to a dense metropolitan area. It's not a set decision yet and thus still uncertain because: I would be leaving a serious boyfriend who is unwilling to move behind, the legal market (all markets, really) is better in Houston than SF, and I fucking fucking love my firm and the people there, which are the reasons why the decision isn't fully made.

I might be trying to uncomfortably combine two dissimilar questions, but here it is. In light of the contemplated move, I'm not sure what I should be doing with money I'm making. Can y'all help?

Airline shifting departure time unilaterally

Mapes — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 14:11:19 -0800

Is there any recourse when an airline moves your flight earlier and earlier, eventually adding a new flight at the original time that costs much more? My wife and I are flying Delta to Tokyo: originally a 9am flight to Detroit followed by a 12:30pm flight to Narita. Delta has twice shifted our first flight earlier, once to 8am and again to 5:40am. Now I see that the flight at 9am has reappeared with a slightly different flight number. When I try to change to this flight via their website, the additional cost is >$3K.

Is this common? Would I get anywhere by calling them? Any recommendations on what angle to take, other than "Waaaahh, this seems unfair!" I'd just like to avoid getting up at 2am only to sit for a subsequent 4-hour layover. Thanks!

Los Angeles Life Hacks

Sara C. — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 11:13:43 -0800

I'd like some every day hacks for life in Los Angeles. It's finally happening. After two years working on my New York City exit strategy, I'm moving to Los Angeles at the end of next month.

I have savings. I'm leveraging my local connections to find a job ASAP. I have a sense of the lay of the land, and a game plan for buying a car. I've read just about every AskMe thread about L.A., ever.

I just have one more question. What are the little everyday tricks that make life in Los Angeles easier?

For example, in New York, for only a couple extra bucks, the laundromat will do your laundry for you, including matching your socks. We've got smart phone apps to navigate public transit. Want to know if a gentrifying neighborhood is safe? Keep an eye out for a Connecticut Muffin coffee shop. Or, in the opposite direction, the Kennedy Fried Chicken fast food chain. Need a life-line to cool free social activities? We've got a blog for that. And a newsletter. What if you need to renew your driver's license, but you don't want to wait in line all day? Head to the Express DMV.

What are the L.A. equivalents of these things? What simple service is going to make my life a thousand times better? What local blog is going to revolutionize the way I have fun? Is there an immediate visual shorthand for whether a neighborhood is safe? A group I can join? A radio station that will keep me sane in traffic? A tiny perk of Southern California life I wouldn't know about? A simple bit of advice about the freeway system?

What about the bad stuff? Any huge warnings or points of culture shock I might not be anticipating? Any seemingly friendly yoga center/event space/knitting circle that is SECRETLY A CULT? (For what it's worth, I'm comfortable driving in Manhattan at rush hour, grew up in the deep south so I'm used to the lack of "real seasons", etc.)

I already know about the Thomas Guide and Mapping L.A. I intend to join AAA sometime in the next few weeks. I've taken a bit of a crash course on the California DMV regulations about licensing, smog checks, and the like. Assume I'm asking about stuff that isn't already common knowledge to someone relocating to Southern California.

Most cargo capacity for cross country move: minivan vs. SUV?

theory — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 13:00:23 -0800

My girlfriend is moving from New York City to Miami for a yearlong clerkship. A one-way rental of an SUV or minivan seems to be our best option to move her stuff. What would have the most available cargo space? We don't own a car. A U-Haul truck would be overkill since she's not bringing any large items. It'll be the two of us, a cocker spaniel and whatever stuff my girlfriend wants to move.

Since this would be a one-way rental it wouldn't be possible to remove any of the rear seats. Searching online, I find many different figures given for maximum cargo capacities, but they either assume the seats are removed or it's not indicated one way or another. I know there is a lot of variability, but let's assume our choices are a late model Dodge Caravan (or similar) vs. a midsize SUV or large SUV with all rear seats intact and folded down.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it: Seattle or San Francisco?

IdRatherNotSay — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 09:51:52 -0800

You've been offered the same position with the same company in your choice of two offices: Seattle or San Francisco. The salary is the same in both positions but, due to a cost of living adjustment, the pay is higher in SF. What are some of the factors you'd consider in deciding where to go? Which would you choose and why? I'll tell you a little bit about my soon-to-be-spouse and myself. He's the one with the job offer, I'm just along for the ride.

We currently live on the East Coast, most of our family is on the East Coast, so this is a "big move" for us. My fiance moved around quite a bit growing up, I've never moved other than going away to college and coming back after. We had no particular reason to seek out a big move, but we're up for taking a big plunge, shaking things up a little bit, having an adventure.

We like the outdoors, we like bike riding and water sports, swimming at pools, beaches or lakes, short hikes. No kids, no rush to have any, for a few years at least. We hope to get a dog, so we'd like to live somewhere dog-friendly. We like to eat out and try different cuisines, we would consider ourselves adventurous eaters. We don't drink a lot, but we'll grab a beer while we watch a game somewhere. We're not really into a music/club/live music scene at all. We look forward to exploring a new city, I think we'd have fun checking out different neighborhoods together on the weekends. We're very liberal and, while he enjoys some political debate, I'm happiest surrounded by like-minded individuals.

We know no one in Seattle, we have a few acquaintances/distant friends in SF. We have a few friends in Portland, so maybe we'd make the drive a few times, but we're up for making friends wherever we live. We're both pretty outgoing. I imagine my fiance might also make some friends, or at least acquaintances, through work.

Hobbies: My fiance is very into sports as a spectator, he watches a lot of sports on TV and attends live games - baseball, football, college football, MLS, basketball, etc. He's a fan of the 49ers, but I think he'd be happy to see any team anywhere. I'm into crafts, knitting and photography. In the past I've made friends this way, by joining knitting circles for instance.

We have a car that we would bring with us. We'd like to avoid buying a second car, but we could live with that if it was necessary. Or, conceivably, we could sell our car if we find having one to be unnecessary but I do think it'd be nice to have for weekend trips, I think for the first year or more we might save on vacations by doing trips around our area and exploring locally.

We'd be open to living either in the city proper or perhaps in a closeby suburb. In Seattle, his office would be downtown, in SF, his office would be in the Financial District, so we think both offices are in areas that are very commutable. We'd likely rent at least for a little while, while we get our bearings on our city and the neighborhoods. We agree that if we're unhappy where we end up, we can try for a transfer in a few years (either to the city we didn't pick, or to some other city, or possibly back "home" here) but we'd like to go into it with the mindset of this being a permanent move.

Other things we've been considering so far:
* weather - is Seattle as bad and as rainy as its reputation? Is SF really as lovely as its reputation?
* quality of life for the cost of living. Meaning, even with the salary adjustment in SF, I think maybe we could get a bigger/nicer home in Seattle. Right now we live in a teeny tiny apartment, and I really like the sound of being able to afford a bigger place.
* People coming to visit - I could be wrong, but I feel like maybe we're more likely to get our friends to come visit San Fran, so we'd see more of our old friends that way?
* accessibility to international flights. Right now we live near the 3 NYC airports which means direct flights to most places and we like to take an international vacation every year or two. I'd like to avoid living somewhere that requires multiple flights or is not near a hub. I think San Fran/Oakland covers flights to most destinations, does Seattle?
* Washington State doesn't have income tax, which means more disposable income. On the other hand, he's required to pay more into health insurance in Seattle, so it might be a wash.
* I've asked my fiance whether he had a preference of either office - he felt, based on the interview, he would like the SF office better. It's a smaller office and they seemed friendlier and team-oriented. This is important since we're moving for the job, and that's the only known factor in the move, he might as well like the office he's going to.
* This is perhaps the most snowflake-y aspect- I'm a lawyer admitted in NY. I believe I can waive into the Washington bar (not take another bar exam). I don't believe I can waive into the Cal bar, and their bar exam is notoriously difficult. That means either I wouldn't work right away in California, or at least not as a lawyer. We'll be married and I'll have health insurance, but money would obviously be tighter.
* Long term thinking - Would SF be a good forever city, or is it more of a "it was a good experience to live there for a few years" city? For some reason, I think of Seattle more as somewhere we could settle down forever, and SF less so.

Am I missing anything? Are there other factors you'd consider? Where would you choose and why? Bonus points if you can point us in the direction of neighborhoods to check out, examples of things to do, etc. I'm knowledge-hungry, and we only have a few days to decide! Thanks!

Best route from Hartford, CT to Washington, DC

TurkishGolds — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 07:44:14 -0800

Driving a 14-foot UHaul from Hartford, CT to Washington, DC area (specifically Silver Spring/Takoma Park, MD) this Saturday, July 28. Route suggestions? Google is quoting between 6-7 hours, depending on road selection. I can live with that, but not sure what roads are preferable considering traffic, truck restrictions, etc. Don't some of the parkways in/around NYC and NJ restrict trucks? Does that apply to this 14-footer? How to avoid?

95 the whole way? Tappan Zee Bridge? Drift west into PA to avoid Philadelphia metro area and other congestion?

We are interested in making the trip as fast as possible. Not at all interested in stopping for diversions along the way.

Sayōnara, Willkommen

dmvs — Tue, 22 May 2012 19:38:26 -0800

Moving from Japan to Germany. Recommend a moving company? I read the suggestions in a 2006 AskMeFi post, but since it's several years old, I thought I'd ask again.

Is ABF super awesome?

k8t — Wed, 02 May 2012 06:32:32 -0800

Experiences with ABF U-Pack? Yesterday there was a how-to-move post and a lot of people mentioned ABF U-Pack as being a good way to get around the moving scams.

I have a decent sized move package budget, but I know that our last corporate move exceeded the amount that we have for this move, so we'll have to trim some things. I've considered doing media mail for less important books, for example.

After reading that post I thought that it might be worth exploring ABF.

Some particulars that may impact our situation:

- 2 bedroom house, large office, dozens of book boxes, tons of outdoor gear, kids' toys, and basement full of crap.
- I'm willing to pack (and in the midst of packing) our books and some of our belongings, but I liked the moving team in our last move doing things like taking apart and wrapping furniture, wrapping stuff, efficiently packing our things - especially kitchen stuff.
- There is no way that we could move the big furniture ourselves.
- I think that it would take us a long time to take apart our furniture.
- We have decent access to moving boxes through our neighborhood listserv.
- Every hour that we'd be moving ourselves is an hour that we're not working and we're paying for childcare.
- We will be moving in DC. In July. To Seattle.
- We live in a dense city neighborhood. I think that we'd have to get authorized for the container. This costs money, right?
- How long can you reasonably have the container out there?
- Our neighborhood isn't UNSAFE, but leaving a container on the street might be a security issue issue.
- We have a small child, so we don't have as much spare time and we have to maintain somewhat of a normal routine.
- There are some health/fatigue issues going on that means that packing could wipe us out. Money is limited, but health trumps money.
- On the other end we will have more flexibility for unpacking, but no childcare.
- On the other end we may need to put some of our things in off-site storage.

Given this, would it be easier just to pay for Mayflower to do it for us and get it over with? Or is ABF just so awesome and easy that we need to consider it?

long distance custody

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 06:59:15 -0800

Is there a way for parents to move far apart without hurting the kids? I currently have joint custody, and an out-of-state boyfriend that I'd like to marry. I would love to provide my children with a two parent home life. He's looking for a job here but it really seems like a shot in the dark. I can't support us all on my job and have no better prospects but he could support us all on his current salary. Does anyone know a story about a parent who moved with the kids and made a long-distance parenting agreement work? Any cautionary tales?

Drowning in details! Throw me a life ring!

kalessin — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 05:39:49 -0800

Looking for help planning an upcoming cross-country move and logistics planning and options. Move: Baltimore, MD to Berkeley, CA, with a LOT of leeway, but it's still hella complicated! Lots of special snowflake details inside. In the Fall 2012, my goal is to move to Berkeley, CA from Baltimore, MD. This is partly because of splitting up with my ex of 15 years, partly due to needing to see to elder care for my parents, partly wanting to take the opportunity to return to my beloved East Bay.

My problem? The huge pile of logistics I am personally responsible for doing before I get there is usually okay, but sometimes it really gets to me. So help me think about this, take it head on and start handling it directly instead of just worrying about it.

I have a bunch of advantages and things working largely in my favor:
- I will move to my Mom's property, in a separate house from hers.
- I can work the job I already have, remotely, on a Pacific Time schedule.
- My Mom is willing to and interested in taking care of my cat while I complete the move.
- I do not have a set schedule (though this isn't helping me deal emotionally).
- Money needs to be reasonable, but short term availability of money is not an issue.
- I have a good, proven Seller's Agent for selling my house.
- From June until selling the house and moving permanently, I'm approved to work 2 weeks in MD and 2 weeks in CA, alternating indefinitely (assuming I can afford the travel costs and the schedule doesn't kick my butt). So I can totally use the travel to help move small items.

Handled or almost handled obstacles:
- Cat move logistics worked out. (This is/was crazy complicated.)
- Selling/finding a home for all of my furniture.
- Fixing up the really obvious things about my house prior sale listing.
- Split up assets in the house, various furniture and possessions already marked for her or me. Very little uncertainty there, but I am having trouble visualizing what will be left.
- Generalities about selling the house - schedule and listing price, as well as amenities and details about recent renovation.

Things still being worked out:
- Preparing/staging house for sale.
- Listing house for sale.
- Setting up an office in Berkeley, CA property.
- In June, my ex will move out and take most of the furniture (the stuff I'm not selling/giving away). Do I rent some furniture or keep it nude?
- What to do with the stuff I have that is on bookshelves now (storage? mail/ship to my Mom's property? move to Mom's property?) And what's the most efficient/cost effective?
- How to ultimately move the stuff I am left with and want to keep.

Please help me figure out what to do/how to plan with the stuff I still need to work out.

Sooner or later the grey is gonna get ya

cgg — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 17:26:57 -0800

If I could live anywhere in North America, where would it be? Given what I'm about to tell y'all about myself, what cities should I consider if I wanted to live somewhere else? I love Vancouver, but I'll admit by this time of year the previous 6 months of rain and gloom can really, really get to a girl. I also have migraines that get triggered by changes in barometric pressure (among other things), and the weather here doesn't really help in that regard.

I'm looking for a city with nice, fairly consistant weather. Sunshine just makes me happy. A city with a good tech industry is pretty vital, as I need to support myself. Also, I identify the most with the left-leaning atheist crowd, so the stereotypical bible-beltish areas are not my first choice. I love walkable cities, but i'm not really the outdoorsy type. I would just really rather not have to drive to get a coffee or gallon of milk. Being able to live close enough to work where the commute won't drive me insane is vital. Other than that, I'm pretty flexible. I am Canadian, but for the sake of argument assume anywhere in North America (north of Mexico) is fair game. So - if you were me, what cities and areas would appeal to you to live in?

Note, I'm not actually planning on moving anywhere soon... but I am trying to figure out where I would like to live, if the opportunity presented itself to just pick up and go!

What's that funky dance move?

greenhornet — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 01:52:08 -0800

My young son is doing dance and we'd love some help identifying the name of a specific dance move. The dance move involves swinging one leg around while crouched on the ground. And who better to demo the move than the great Nathan Barnatt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxPbgnO81sQ#t=2m40s

How do I survive the city?

Bibliogeek — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:18:19 -0800

Moving to a big, foreign city from a very small American town- what skills or situations should a country lady be aware of? In other words, how do I not die and/or not go crazy from the people? So. Many. People. I grew up miles outside of the nearest town....which had 800 people in it. I'm going to be moving in a few months to a very large (for me) city in a foreign country. Basically, moving from small town America to Cologne, Germany. I won't speak the language (I'm working on it, but it is slow going) and I will know one person. I will not have a car, but Cologne has great public transportation, I hear (another thing I will have to learn how to do).

I am finding the city aspect almost as frightening as the not-speaking-the-language part and thus am asking:

-What sort of skills should an urban dweller posses? Are there certain personality traits that I should develop?

-How do you deal with the sheer amount of people always around you? Does this bother you?

-As a lady type, how do you decide when/where it is safe to wander around alone/at night? It seems like in movies/TV big city females are wandering all over the place at all hours of the night. This would make me very nervous (oddly though,it would not really make me nervous out in the country.).

-Have you made this transition before? What was hardest for you to adjust to? What did you do in order to ease that adjustment? How long until you felt comfortable there? If you could tell your younger self one piece of advice about your move, what would it be?

- Germany Specific: As a person who was on some SSRI's in the past for anxiety/depression and who takes comfort in knowing that I could jump right back on them if it ever got that bad again- is there a general German attitude about these medications? Am I likely to run into any static from doctors if I want to resume that course of treatment?

I am trying to look at this whole thing like a big adventure and a fantastic opportunity to live abroad- but I'd like to go into it as prepared as possible. I wish I could be a little more focused with this question, but I really don't know how to prepare or what I will be getting into. Thus the kind of vague nature of my question, but I suppose it all could be boiled down into what does it take to survive and thrive in a city?