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Helping 7 yo process mother's death

So my sister-in-law had a stroke last week and passed away on Friday. My niece's are 7 and 19. The older one, of course groks it, but I'm not sure how much the younger one is getting. [more inside]
posted by jacy on Nov 19, 2013 - 25 answers

Can you help me understand this sign of mourning I saw in Honduras?

When I was living in Honduras, I noticed that when a person died, the family would hang up a large piece of black fabric outside of their house or in their window. This banner would be cut into a shape that reminded me of a bow tie. This might be a long shot, but does anyone know what the history is behind this tradition? [more inside]
posted by Paper rabies on Nov 16, 2013 - 7 answers

I loved him, he loved me, but it was complicated and now he's dead.

I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on? [more inside]
posted by cardinality on May 5, 2013 - 20 answers

What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
posted by Lately Gone on Mar 21, 2013 - 79 answers

I breathe you in and keep you forever

There was an article/NPR story from a couple years ago that described findings that we incorporate ALL things we take in into our bodies. [more inside]
posted by ilikecookies on Jul 17, 2012 - 6 answers

Loving and living in the moment?

My boyfriend is moving in 10 days. We will not be continuing our relationship after he goes. How do I enjoy our last bit of time together without constantly mourning the end of the relationship? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jul 13, 2012 - 24 answers

Late Condolences?

Just found out that the child of a person I worked with (and was friends with through work) died two months ago. Should I contact them, or is it too late? [more inside]
posted by Hactar on Oct 19, 2011 - 14 answers

Ways to knit up a ravelled sleeve

I need ideas for craft projects memorialising loss of various different kinds. [more inside]
posted by Acheman on Sep 27, 2011 - 4 answers

Is observing cremation a good way to achieve closure?

My father recently had the traumatic experience of finding his brother's body. I know that the experience has been very hard for him, and he has decided to observe the cremation in order to give himself some closure. All information on the web has been uniformly to the tune of "We'll let you do it but it can be traumatic, so make sure you know what you're doing." I'm trying to advise him, and would appreciate advice from anyone who has dealt with this before.
posted by nickgb on Aug 27, 2011 - 12 answers

Grief vs Sexuality

How do I reconcile my interests and passions with creativity and human sexuality, in the face of death, grief, and tragedy? Are there any thoughtful heartfelt resources from those who have talked about the two? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Jan 3, 2011 - 10 answers

Readings for a course on death and philosophy

Philosophical approaches to death and dying. I am prepping a college course; looking for great readings on philosophical questions about death, but also: world religious/cultural traditions about dying/funerals/mourning/afterlife, how people in death-related jobs see their work (undertakers, hospice workers, doctors, chaplains, military/police...), writings of people who have terminal illnesses, psychological research on preparation for dying, etc. [more inside]
posted by LobsterMitten on Dec 14, 2010 - 51 answers

Ring of Rememberance, or a Painful Reminder?

We want to give my husband's mother a piece of "birthstones of your children" jewelry for Christmas. She has four living adult children, and also lost a child (either stillborn or died shortly after birth) after her first two children were born. All the living children know about this child, but no one ever speaks of it. How many stones should we put on the ring -- four, or five?
posted by anastasiav on Dec 2, 2010 - 42 answers

Mental Use-By Date

Is there a proper term for the superstition that one won't outlive their parents? [more inside]
posted by goshling on Feb 1, 2010 - 3 answers

Emergency help with a Viking funeral for a small bird.

I need to build a small bonfire in Oakland,Ca. Tonight. Something campfire sized at largest. Want to be both safe and within the law. Emergency mourning. [more inside]
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey on Dec 6, 2009 - 13 answers

Can I have your tips about entering into the holiday season right after my dad's death?

Death, mourning, family, and holidays: How to prepare for the holidays in a post-Dad world? [more inside]
posted by NikitaNikita on Nov 10, 2009 - 13 answers

I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck.

Coming-of-age Filter: My world is coming crashing down. Is this a sign? Should I just soldier on? How? Trying to be a rock-em sock-em robot and get back on the horse. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by big open mouth on Mar 11, 2009 - 37 answers

Pet ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Our dog died yesterday... should we keep his ashes? If yes, what should we do with them? [more inside]
posted by kitkatcathy on Oct 17, 2008 - 28 answers

For I have known a sorrow such as yours, and understand.

How can I feel less alone in my grief? [more inside]
posted by Alligator on Jul 9, 2008 - 15 answers

Help me grieve for my pug

I had to put my 13 year old pug to sleep last night. I'm just devastated. [more inside]
posted by yodelingisfun on Feb 27, 2008 - 48 answers

Cousin reconnected.

Forgotten relations have parachuted into my life...Can I make them useful? [more inside]
posted by frosty_hut on Dec 26, 2007 - 22 answers

Dimming the lights on Broadway?

BroadwayFilter: My Google-fu is failing me... When did the tradition of dimming the marquee lights on Broadway in mourning or as a sign of respect begin? [more inside]
posted by Oriole Adams on Sep 15, 2007 - 6 answers

passing of a dog...

My mother's dog (part of our family for 10 years) passed away last night of major sudden medical problems. My mother is in her late 50s, divorced, and lives alone - and considered the dog practically one of her children. How can I help her through this better? [more inside]
posted by jare2003 on Dec 31, 2006 - 21 answers

Does anyone know the kind of book I'm aiming for?

Are there any books you think a smart, grieving preteen would find comforting or of use? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ash3000 on Dec 17, 2006 - 15 answers

Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.

Calling all DeadHeads: I'm going through some bad, hard-to-deal-with shit right now, and am looking for some music to help see me through. [more inside]
posted by nixxon on Nov 11, 2006 - 18 answers

Sad little puppy

One of my sisters dogs had to be put to sleep due to cancer, her other dog, a Jack Russel Terrier is really taking it hard. She won't eat, isn't playful and mopes around the other dog's bed. Right now I'm mostly worried about the lack of food, she's a small dog, any suggestions on what to do?
posted by substrate on Jun 25, 2006 - 19 answers

What to bring to a shiva?

What should I bring to a shiva? [more inside]
posted by LilBucner on Aug 23, 2005 - 13 answers

death at work

Death in the workplace. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2005 - 14 answers

Funeral etiquette

BereavementFilter: Etiquettement dilemma about opening/agitating mourning versus sharing in a small life-afirming-recollection-of-the-deceased, er, something (the [+] might make more sense, sorry) [more inside]
posted by PurplePorpoise on Jan 9, 2005 - 11 answers

Helping people with bereavement...

I work for a funeral home and I'm looking for a book that will help people with the bereavement process. It should be easily available and fairly inexpensive (these are coming out of my own pocket--I just want something that I can give people who are having an especially hard time dealing with their loss). Most "self-help" books that I've looked at are too clinical and dull. Any recommendations? [more inside]
posted by ColdChef on Dec 19, 2004 - 8 answers

How to mourn

What's the best way to mourn the passing of a loved one? What's the best way to help one's family grieve?
posted by trharlan on Dec 22, 2003 - 14 answers

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