My mom is in pallative care and may pass away shortly. I'm an only child and we have no blood relatives here. The service would be attended by my husband and two teen kids plus a couple of elderly neighbors and me. What funeral service ideas are there for such a small attendance? [more inside]
My beloved little cat (complete with a twitter account) died in the early hours on monday. I live alone and *feel* really alone without a furry, purring, mice chasing feline in my life. Is there any rule of thumb on the right delay between burying a cat and adopting a new one ?
A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
I'm nearing the two-year anniversary of my dad's death, and a close friend just lost a family member in a tragic accident. As I remember my dad and support my friend, I am craving some sort of movement-based grief ritual - an active dance, set of motions, physical practice, to do with others, potentially at my (UU) church. [more inside]
So my sister-in-law had a stroke last week and passed away on Friday. My niece's are 7 and 19. The older one, of course groks it, but I'm not sure how much the younger one is getting. [more inside]
When I was living in Honduras, I noticed that when a person died, the family would hang up a large piece of black fabric outside of their house or in their window. This banner would be cut into a shape that reminded me of a bow tie. This might be a long shot, but does anyone know what the history is behind this tradition? [more inside]
I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on? [more inside]
Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
There was an article/NPR story from a couple years ago that described findings that we incorporate ALL things we take in into our bodies. [more inside]
My boyfriend is moving in 10 days. We will not be continuing our relationship after he goes. How do I enjoy our last bit of time together without constantly mourning the end of the relationship? [more inside]
Just found out that the child of a person I worked with (and was friends with through work) died two months ago. Should I contact them, or is it too late? [more inside]
I need ideas for craft projects memorialising loss of various different kinds. [more inside]
My father recently had the traumatic experience of finding his brother's body. I know that the experience has been very hard for him, and he has decided to observe the cremation in order to give himself some closure. All information on the web has been uniformly to the tune of "We'll let you do it but it can be traumatic, so make sure you know what you're doing." I'm trying to advise him, and would appreciate advice from anyone who has dealt with this before.
How do I reconcile my interests and passions with creativity and human sexuality, in the face of death, grief, and tragedy? Are there any thoughtful heartfelt resources from those who have talked about the two? [more inside]
Philosophical approaches to death and dying. I am prepping a college course; looking for great readings on philosophical questions about death, but also: world religious/cultural traditions about dying/funerals/mourning/afterlife, how people in death-related jobs see their work (undertakers, hospice workers, doctors, chaplains, military/police...), writings of people who have terminal illnesses, psychological research on preparation for dying, etc. [more inside]
We want to give my husband's mother a piece of "birthstones of your children" jewelry for Christmas. She has four living adult children, and also lost a child (either stillborn or died shortly after birth) after her first two children were born. All the living children know about this child, but no one ever speaks of it. How many stones should we put on the ring -- four, or five?
Is there a proper term for the superstition that one won't outlive their parents? [more inside]
I need to build a small bonfire in Oakland,Ca. Tonight. Something campfire sized at largest. Want to be both safe and within the law. Emergency mourning. [more inside]
Death, mourning, family, and holidays: How to prepare for the holidays in a post-Dad world? [more inside]
Coming-of-age Filter: My world is coming crashing down. Is this a sign? Should I just soldier on? How? Trying to be a rock-em sock-em robot and get back on the horse. Details inside. [more inside]
Our dog died yesterday... should we keep his ashes? If yes, what should we do with them? [more inside]
How can I feel less alone in my grief? [more inside]
I had to put my 13 year old pug to sleep last night. I'm just devastated. [more inside]
Forgotten relations have parachuted into my life...Can I make them useful? [more inside]
BroadwayFilter: My Google-fu is failing me... When did the tradition of dimming the marquee lights on Broadway in mourning or as a sign of respect begin? [more inside]
My mother's dog (part of our family for 10 years) passed away last night of major sudden medical problems. My mother is in her late 50s, divorced, and lives alone - and considered the dog practically one of her children. How can I help her through this better? [more inside]
Are there any books you think a smart, grieving preteen would find comforting or of use? More details inside. [more inside]
Calling all DeadHeads: I'm going through some bad, hard-to-deal-with shit right now, and am looking for some music to help see me through. [more inside]
One of my sisters dogs had to be put to sleep due to cancer, her other dog, a Jack Russel Terrier is really taking it hard. She won't eat, isn't playful and mopes around the other dog's bed. Right now I'm mostly worried about the lack of food, she's a small dog, any suggestions on what to do?
What should I bring to a shiva? [more inside]
Death in the workplace. [more inside]
BereavementFilter: Etiquettement dilemma about opening/agitating mourning versus sharing in a small life-afirming-recollection-of-the-deceased, er, something (the [+] might make more sense, sorry) [more inside]
I work for a funeral home and I'm looking for a book that will help people with the bereavement process. It should be easily available and fairly inexpensive (these are coming out of my own pocket--I just want something that I can give people who are having an especially hard time dealing with their loss). Most "self-help" books that I've looked at are too clinical and dull. Any recommendations? [more inside]
What's the best way to mourn the passing of a loved one? What's the best way to help one's family grieve?