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How does a person change his relationship with toxic parents?

I don't want to be around my parents, but my guilt keeps me in contact with them. How can I get to a place where I don't feel bad about not interacting with them unless it's on my terms? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Sep 24, 2014 - 19 answers

Finding friends in Fresno?

My mother moved to Fresno 4 years ago, to be near her sister. She likes it here, more or less. However, she is 65, single, bored, and I have run out of suggestions. Can you help? [more inside]
posted by ananci on Sep 20, 2014 - 11 answers

Suggestions for Mother/Son dance at a wedding?

I'm getting married. My mom wants to dance with me. What are some suggestions for songs to dance to? Nice, quiet songs that aren't too long would be great!
posted by MisantropicPainforest on Sep 1, 2014 - 11 answers

1970s science fiction short story about a young mother going crazy?

There's this science fiction story I can recall reading in at least one anthology, if not multiples. It is told from the perspective of a young mother who is going crazy dealing with her kid(s). The writing is very stark and bleak, but it's a fun story nonetheless. I am fairly certain the author was a woman. I believe it's from the late 60s or early to mid 1970s. [more inside]
posted by Slinga on Aug 21, 2014 - 9 answers

Stop peeing on my friends!

Is there a way to hide all activity generated by another Facebook user without actually blocking that user? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by hand-knit sock on Jul 31, 2014 - 19 answers

Help me make the most of the time my mother has left.

My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
posted by joan cusack the second on Jul 28, 2014 - 27 answers

The name/location of the lighthouse in HIMYM??

Hi! Was wondering if anyone knows the name and location of the lighthouse in the Lighthouse episode of How I Met Your Mother. THANK YOU!
posted by LemonGardot on Jul 18, 2014 - 1 answer

Child reading books in the summer

Hi, My 10 year old girl loves to read. When she gets started, she loves it, but it's the "getting her started" that I have a problem with. [more inside]
posted by lynnie-the-pooh on Jun 27, 2014 - 33 answers

Was having a second child a career killer?

For you full-time working mothers, was having a second child a career killer like my googling suggests? Are there other potentially negative ramifications of having a second that I'm not considering? Feel free to ignore the special snowflake details inside; I tend to ramble. [more inside]
posted by kei02003 on Jun 25, 2014 - 23 answers

Dealing with parental pressures to find a job

I recently graduated, but I'm already feeling pressure to find a job now or else be bombarded with my mom's criticism. How should I deal with this until I get work? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on Jun 18, 2014 - 22 answers

Depressed & need inspiration.

I am a single mother, down in the dumps and looking for mefites for a lightbulb or maybe just a bone. I've been juggling my post-divorce financial mess, toxic workplace, toxic people all around, and I'm so tired and exhausted, I just know my six-year old and I need to be somewhere where the atmosphere is more laid back with better quality of life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2014 - 13 answers

Mother got a job in my workplace behind my back.

I have been working a steady job at a fairly close-knit company for about 3 years, and was recently promoted. My mother applied behind my back and got a job in the same company. We do not get along. Should I quit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2014 - 31 answers

What to get for the person who doesn't like anything?

My mom is so hard to shop for: she doesn't really have any interests, she doesn't really do anything, she doesn't appreciate nice things, and she is very set in her ways. Past years' presents have fallen pretty flat. Help? [more inside]
posted by rabbitrabbit on Dec 17, 2013 - 45 answers

Tell me about your experience buying an iPad for an elderly person

My mom, who recently sold her home and moved into senior housing, has expressed interest in owning some sort of computing device. She's basically computer illiterate, has never been on the internet, and has trouble using my TV remote control sometimes. Am I crazy to even consider getting her an iPad? [more inside]
posted by bondcliff on Dec 2, 2013 - 35 answers

Helping 7 yo process mother's death

So my sister-in-law had a stroke last week and passed away on Friday. My niece's are 7 and 19. The older one, of course groks it, but I'm not sure how much the younger one is getting. [more inside]
posted by jacy on Nov 19, 2013 - 25 answers

Book and movie name

What is the name of the book and movie about a simple-minded, poor man who lived with his mother, carried a pet bird with him and gets innocently involved in an social uprising? I think he discovered gold near the beginning and his clothes are tattered.
posted by mcbeitz on Nov 13, 2013 - 3 answers

Setting boundries with parents, what is the best approach at 30?

I am 30 years old, I have been pretty independent (I left NY to move to VA when I was 21 to go to college and have been here since). My parents recently moved 3 miles from my house about two years ago... it is a blessing, but sometimes it is difficult. I feel I carry "guilt" that I need to keep them company or keep my Mom busy since they don't have any friends or family here, so it makes me feel like I owe them a lot of my time since they basically moved here for me. If I dont call her or see her twice a week its like I've "abandoned" them. How do I get my parents to see this without it sounding like I don't "need" them in my life as much? [more inside]
posted by BrandNewMe on Nov 4, 2013 - 15 answers

I need tips for surviving a really hard breakup. With children.

Summary: I still love my children's father. We had a lot of problems in the four years we were together, but the last year or so I truly thought everything was getting better and we were happy. Then he suddenly broke up with me. And last night, he pocket-dialed me from a new girlfriend's house where I got to hear all the gushy giggly happy voices that used to be mine, as well as some x-rated stuff I am now trying to burn out of my memory. How am I supposed to cope with this? The only way I've ever gotten over an ex is to go no-contact, and rid my home/environment/live of everything that could possibly remind me of them; but, we have two small children together. I am going to have to look at his face three times a week for the next eighteen years, let alone the daily reminder of the children themselves, and I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm in a horrible mental place right now and have no resources. Please help me. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Sep 13, 2013 - 40 answers

How can I make my mother see she needs to see a psychologist?

Hi all, I don't live at home anymore, as I studied abroad, but frequently come home during holidays. During such return visit, and the ocassional visit by my family, I always get a good taste of my mother's uglier side. I dont want to diagnose her myself, but can say that her bipolar and control freakish behaviour is affecting the whole family (my father and brother) for as long as I can remember. I would dare to even describe it as abusive; minor problems like a dirty plate forgotten on a kitchen counter can escalate into agressive full blown shout out, and in general there were moments where I really had to remind myself that, whoa, this is my mother. [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Aug 31, 2013 - 13 answers

That didn't go how I planned

A rough first impression . . . [more inside]
posted by chainsofreedom on Aug 18, 2013 - 25 answers

Was my mother abusive or just a bad mother? Maybe neither?

I'm currently 34, but I'm dealing with things that happened when I was 16-23. I'm worried that I'm overreacting, misplacing blame, or being unfair. Was my mother abusive or just a bad mother? Maybe neither? I know this is unwieldy, but I'm flailing about somewhat trying to find my footing. I feel guilty for reacting to things that happened so long ago. [more inside]
posted by fredmounts on Aug 9, 2013 - 36 answers

Is this originally a French proverb? And is my grammar correct?

"Beauty is the sister of vanity and the mother of lust". My translation in to French: "La beauté est la soeur de la vanité et la mère de la luxure." I originally saw this phrase in French as "La beauté est la sœur de vanité, et la mére et la luxure". So that would roughly translate as "Beauty is the sister of vanity and the mother of lust". I have also seen it expressed in English as "Beauty's sister is vanity, and its daughter lust." My translation would be: "La beauté est la sœur de vanité, et la fille de la luxure." I asked on Yahoo Answers if my grammar was correct, but one of the responses said it should be "la mère" and not "la fille". Hence, my question. Is it originally French in origin? And if so, is it mother of lust or daughter of lust? Either way my translation would be: "La beauté est la soeur de la vanité et la mère de la luxure." Or La beauté est la soeur de la vanité et la fille de la luxure. Are these two translations grammatically correct? Also, is La necessary before "beauté"?
posted by mrducts on Jun 30, 2013 - 9 answers

What awesome contraband can I give my newly-not pregnant friend?

My friend will be having her second baby today after an uncomfortable pregnancy (extreme nausea + Houston heat). I want to make her a gift basket of stuff she couldn't use while pregnant - booze, cigarettes, soft cheeses, processed meats. What else can I get her? [more inside]
posted by anthropomorphic on Jun 17, 2013 - 41 answers

My mother is going to be here in 24 hours and I am FREAKING OUT!

My mother is coming to visit. I love her, we have a good relationship, but I am in sort of weird, transitional moment in my life and she seems to not be taking it very well. Or maybe it's all in my head. I am definitely not taking things very well. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Jun 6, 2013 - 22 answers

Depressed father, mother miserable too - what can we adult children do?

My dad, in his 60s, seems to be depressed. He is deeply unhappy and anxious, and he's also become angry and bitter to the point of a total personality change, mostly with my mum. She is miserable, and me and my siblings are so worried about both of them, especially because Dad refuses to get any help or even have a conversation about this. What, if anything, can we do here? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on May 18, 2013 - 12 answers

What to do with these mothers?

Our kombucha keeps growing! What do we do with the SCOBY? I hear it tastes like squid. [more inside]
posted by aniola on May 3, 2013 - 6 answers

Need advice - Taking care of my mother.

What should I do about my mother? I don't get along with her or like her, nor can I afford to have her live with me. Yet she has nowhere to go. I'm in Canada. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by j1sh on Apr 8, 2013 - 38 answers

Is it ever okay to cut off a parent?

I am at a point where I really would like to cut my mother off my life. Am I a scumbag? [more inside]
posted by ADent on Mar 22, 2013 - 62 answers

My family is in trouble. To what extent is it my duty to help?

My sister (late 30s) has recently given birth to a baby who is probably affected by Down syndrome. There will most likely not be a father in the picture. She also has an 8 y.o. daughter from a different, also absent father. They live at my mother’s house in a small town. My sister has a story of emotional instability and I often fear for my niece and nephew. My sister was molested by my father when she was in her late teens. She is extremely dependent on (and at the same time hostile to) my mother. My mother (divorced), in turn, is struggling to help her and the little children, while having to deal with lack of money and her own (physical) health issues. I (male) am the middle child, 8 years younger than my sister. I´ve lived in a big city for the last 6 years. I´m economically independent (yet also struggling) and starting a career in academia. I feel that if I don´t go back to my home town and help my family, things will deteriorate further. On the other hand, my chances of professional growth would be reduced by moving back there. Do you think a sacrifice of this sort is the right thing to do? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Mar 19, 2013 - 31 answers

80 year old MIL talks incessantly

My 80 year old mother- in- law of 30 years talks non-stop about things I am not interested in----- but the people-pleaser in me keeps listening to her politely and I end up feeling exhausted. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Mar 5, 2013 - 23 answers

What the heck is wrong with my mother?!

My mom is well-meaning. She tries hard to be good and kind. I would be in dead a ditch without her. However, she is far and away the most emotionally manipulative person I have ever met. The most succinct way I can describe her behavior this: Every conversation about a problem-- even if it's not related to her behavior-- turns into a conversation about what a bad person she is. YANMPsychologist. But she doesn't have one and won't get one, and I need some kind of term to frame her behavior so I can look up resources on how to talk to her without wanting to scream. [more inside]
posted by the liquid oxygen on Mar 4, 2013 - 28 answers

Recurring dream

I keep having the same dream over and over. Has anyone else had this? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Feb 15, 2013 - 18 answers

How can I cope with a toxic parent while I work to get free?

What can I do to better cope with the mounting stresses of completely cutting ties with an emotionally abusive Mom? I have severe depression, anxiety and other issues. I'm seeking help, but currently inbetween doctors. When things get stressful, I start to crumble. Suggestions very much appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 9 answers

Help a single mother work, to make things work.

Hello, I am a divorced single-mother and US Army National Guard veteran. I am currently living in a bad situation and need to move away from it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 20 answers

Genuine shared experience ideas for dissimilar mom and daughter?

Please help me think of a shared experience my mother and I can have to celebrate her 60th birthday that does not include a spa or salon. I'd like to leave the parameters mostly open, but my budget is somewhere around $150 - $200. [more inside]
posted by smirkyfodder on Jan 31, 2013 - 28 answers

Good gift ideas for new moms?

What are some good Birthday gift ideas for new mothers.... [more inside]
posted by Bwithh on Jan 17, 2013 - 10 answers

How to help a parent cope with the loss of a spouse?

I lost my dear dad unexpectedly Sunday after a series of illnesses. My mom, luckily, is still with us. They were together 54 years and my mom was only 17 when they met. The most important thing to my dad was my mom's well-being and I feel it is now my duty to look after her to the best of my ability. I have no idea how to help her cope with the loss of my father. I want to be there for her as much as possible, but I don't want to smother her. Does anyone have any advice?
posted by entropicamericana on Nov 23, 2012 - 18 answers

How do I help my wife who is bed ridden with stomach flu?

My wife has stomach flu. What can I do for her? [more inside]
posted by alshain on Nov 18, 2012 - 32 answers

This year, I'm thankful for conflict avoidance.

My mother and I are not talking. I am thinking about skipping Thanksgiving. How do I do this without causing even more turmoil? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2012 - 32 answers

Help me help Mom.

Mom is depressed. She has always been depressed. Is there anything I can do to help? If not, how do I cope? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2012 - 9 answers

Would you forgive your mother for this?

Would you forgive your mother for this? [more inside]
posted by crazycanuck on Oct 6, 2012 - 45 answers

Help me tell daughter Santa Claus truth

Help me tell 8 year old the truth about Santa [more inside]
posted by lynnie-the-pooh on Sep 30, 2012 - 33 answers

Hey, Apostle? Can you fill out that TPS report by Monday?

What US religion or religious sub-set uses the titles "Mother" and "Apostle?" [more inside]
posted by Stewriffic on Sep 28, 2012 - 11 answers

Substitute Teaching/Tutoring in Cleveland?

My mom is a retired elementary school teacher (in Cleveland, Ohio). She is hurting for cash a little more than she expected she would, and would like to teach again on a substitute/tutoring basis. How does she go about doing so in a manner that she can earn a decent salary? [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123 on Sep 8, 2012 - 15 answers

Men: How was your mom awesome during your teen years?

Men: how was your mom awesome during your teenage years? [more inside]
posted by SinAesthetic on Aug 29, 2012 - 20 answers

Yes, I understand Mother.

I have a poor relationship with with my parent and looking for advice to improve family relations. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Aug 11, 2012 - 7 answers

How do I be a great SAHM for my baby?

Can you give me your best tips, tricks, and general guidance for being a stay-at-home mom of an older baby? As of next week I will be caring for our 8 month old by myself full time, and I'm scared! [more inside]
posted by crabintheocean on Aug 1, 2012 - 14 answers

(s)Mothering and coaching.

I just told my mom that I'm moving to a developing country for 6 months and she didn't take it well. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Paper rabies on Jul 23, 2012 - 19 answers

Help my wife not go insane.

How can I best support my wife, a stay-at-home-mom, during the summer when she's home alone with a sometimes difficult ten year old boy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2012 - 27 answers

Surfer mom

What's a good place/way to set up a website for a parent? [more inside]
posted by bjrn on May 18, 2012 - 12 answers

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