Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with moral

A legal and moral question about downloading...

twine42 — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:39:11 -0800

A moral question about downloading... Downloading a box set TV series is bad. I get that. Legally wrong.

To me, downloading a TV program such as Top Gear (ie, a program on a free-to-view channel) is legally dubious but morally okay since I would have been freely and legally able to record it off the TV when it broadcast.

My question is this - what about programs which will be released on DVD in the future...?

On one hand, they were broadcast for me to download and record freely. On the other hand, it won't be long before doing so would be the equivalent of downloading from a box set.

Which way does the moral compass point...?

I want to see more bad people

reenum — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 06:48:37 -0800

Please suggest movies, TV shows and books that feature unrepentant, amoral characters I was a big fan of Seinfeld when it was on, and now love It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Eastbound & Down.

The common thread running through these shows is a character or group of characters who are often selfish at best, amoral at worst and unrepentant about it. Also, the characters don't seem to have an epiphany that makes them "good", like the case with many movies and books. For example, I loved the movie Roger Dodger until the ending.

I want more of this. I'd love suggestions on TV shows (except Weeds), movies, and nonfiction books or biographies. I've read about such characters in fiction, so don't need recs on those sorts of books.

Thanks!

Should I notify an acquaintance about a faked, sexual explicit photo of them I saw on the web?

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 14:47:26 -0800

Should I notify an acquaintance about a (non-obvious) faked, sexually-explicit photo of her I saw on the web? Without going into graphic detail, it doesn't render her in the nude in any way, but does depict her, well, with something on her face. I know it's faked because I've seen the original, undoctored photo. Should I leave well-enough alone, or tell her?

Daisy attacked & damaged 3 dogs, has heartworm, severe separation anxiety: is it time to put her down?

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:40:57 -0800

My dog has damaged (bitten through the skin) 3 other dogs and was just diagnosed with heartworm. I know it's a bit impersonal to ask online, but can help me figure out when it is time to consider putting down my pet? Daisy was adopted 3 years ago as a rescue dog, she was 1-2 years old and basically an adolescent, now an adult. She has attacked 3 dogs who were allowed in our house and damaged two of them. She has also attacked a family member's dog in that dog's house after they had spent much time there together over the past 3 years. In each case the damage was 1-2 lacerations caused by Daisy's teeth and on the area around the other dogs' shoulders.

We were concerned after her most recent episode that she may be ill as friends told us a sick dog can change it's behavior ... so we took her to the vet and found out that she is heartworm positive. We're waiting for the results of a confirmation test and an x-ray, possibly to follow up with a sonogram then the relatively costly (estimated at $650-1300) treatment which cannot guarantee a positive outcome.

Beyond these issues, Daisy has a severe case of "separation anxiety" which has improved over time, but is still classified as severe. She no longer damages herself while waiting for us to return home, but she has destroyed plenty of carpet, a door frame, and damaged some other items around the house. She is now able to eat a small amount while we're away, but still refuses to drink to the point that she will vomit bile if left alone for more than 8 hours. This makes her potential for adoption limited especially in light of her inability to be trusted in a home with another dog.

Given that (1) Daisy cannot live in a home with another dog or where interaction with other dogs must be closely monitored, (2) her separation anxiety makes her a poor candidate for adoption because of the damage she will likely cause to a new owner's home if left alone, (3) her dog-aggressive behavior, and (4) the risks and costs of heartworm treatment, is it time to put her down?

For now our plan is to contact a behaviorist and have her evaluated for dog and person aggression then continue her heartworm treatment if they think she can be rehabilitated to a reasonable degree.

My wife and I are very attached to Daisy, this makes decisions about her very hard to separate from our feelings. Our family (who also love Daisy) have let us know that they think it is time to let her go and find another rescue dog who otherwise would be facing death. As much as I can detach myself from the situation, I think they are right, but when I consider actually following through on that I fall apart and rationalize nearly any expense or problems.

I've contacted several Bay Area shelters and foundations regarding adoption possibilities and they are inclined to not accepting her because of the temperament and health issues.

Please help with identifying resources for dealing with these questions and let me know your thoughts on our situation. Thanks for your detached wisdom and thoughts.

Follow up emails can be sent to daisydogquestion@yahoo.com

How do I ethically/morally justify getting paid the higher rate?

Anonymous — Thu, 01 May 2008 07:55:01 -0800

I'm having a bit of an ethical dilemma about a work/pay situation. An acquaintance and I were hired as consultants by The Company for a 7 day project which required a 2 person team doing 2 different tasks. Task A was less technical than Task B and thus received a lower pay rate than B (with a lower overtime rate also). I normally get hired to do Task B outside the context of The Company so naturally when I got hired I assumed that I was getting hired for Task B (with the higher rate of pay). And since Task B is not my acquaintance's area of expertise I figured that it was a no-brainer regarding which one of us was getting hired for which Task.

The confusion came about when my coworker thought that since The Company didn't specify which one of us was to do Task A vs B, that we should split the pay 50/50. The Company (unprofessionally in my opinion) says that they are willing to split the pay any way we agree on. And unfortunately of course, there is nothing in writing. Well there is, but the only thing missing on the contract is specifying who was getting hired for which Task.

The 7 day project is over now and he has since realized that I did in fact do Task B and (even though he tried) he did not possess the technical skills necessary to complete Task B.

I think so far it's pretty clear that I should receive the pay rate associated with Task B and he says he's ok with that and I wouldn't be hurting his feelings by doing so. My dilemma comes because of 2 reasons:

1) For 3 out of the 7 days we both did the same thing. Working as a team doing things that either one of us could easily do and not necessarily in a supervisor/subordinate position. The other 4 days were spent with me specializing in technical stuff on Task B.

and 2) the difference in the pay after all the days and over-time amounts to me getting about 150% more than him. (Re-looking over the rates just now I see that the 150% would happen with or without the over-time, the only difference being that with more hours the dollar amount is what increases).

So really the question is, am I under any moral or ethical requirement to give him a part of the pay I would get for Task B for the 3 days that we did the same duties, while keeping the higher rate for the 4 days during which I did the specialized duties? And what do I say? How do I phrase it?

If we split it that way the dollar amount is a difference of only $187.0 less for me and more for him. I'd make either $1013.0 or $1200.0 more than him otherwise if we split 50/50 I would make about $700.0 less and he $700 more than not splitting.

And lastly, as I said, we are acquaintances but I wouldn't say friends so as far as burning bridges and friendships and whatnot, it's really not a concern. I just want to make sure the end result is a fair one to both of us even if we don't like it.

askmfdilemma@gmail.com if needed.
Thanks in advance.

What are your "good," "ethical," or "moral" criteria for spending your money? Organic? Fair Trade? Made in America?

k7lim — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:19:06 -0800

What are your "good," "ethical," or "moral" criteria for spending your money? Organic? Fair Trade? Made in America? No Animals Harmed in the Making Of This ____? For the dollars you spend on goods and services, what values do you consider other than the value to yourself? Explain why. There are so many considerations in this regard, and I'd like to have a firmer grounding in mine and perhaps debunk some common myths in this regard.

For example, I've heard that NO soaps undergo animal testing, as soap has been proven to work as a technology, so why would any corporation waste money putting ole shampoo on a terrier?

What happens when Sotheby's London changes their mind?

FlyByDay — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 18:32:20 -0800

I sent my supposedly authentic Italian music manuscripts to Sotheby's of London (after their music manuscripts expert authenticated them in person in NYC) to be auctioned. After they received them in London, they told me they weren't sure if they were authentic and they wouldn't auction them. Problem is, it's going to cost me a lot to get them back, and it already cost quite a bit to mail them to London. More details within. A dilemma for all you thoughtful people: over a year ago, I realized that I had in my possession some old, handwritten music manuscripts (http://flickr.com/photos/amalkoff/sets/72057594096354317/). Many years ago, while in grad school, I worked at one of the libraries (this was a music conservatory), where people would often leave old sheet music as donations to the students. (No, they were not meant to stay at the school, lest you think I was taking something meant to be part of the school’s permanent libraries). I would pick through them and take what looked nice. I hadn’t thought about them much. But I started doing some research on these pieces in April 06. The pieces are by Italian composer Francesco Paolo Tosti (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesco_Paolo_Tosti).

I first sent them to an expert in New Jersey, who authenticated them and suggested I speak with Sotheby’s of London. I reached the head of music manuscripts at Sotheby’s and we agreed to meet in NYC when he would be there. He looked over the pieces and said they were the real thing. He suggested I send them to him if I wanted to auction them. He further told me that they’d likely be worth approximately $3000 total (there are 3 of them). After some thought, I decided to send them, and mailed them to Sotheby’s. It cost a little over $100 to mail them. I planned to use the proceeds of the sales as a downpayment on a car. Several months went by and I would check in with Sotheby’s periodically. Eventually, I was told that upon further review, they weren’t absolutely SURE that the pieces had been written out by Tosti himself. It was absolutely his music and it was absolutely of that time period, but there’s a chance that a music copyist did the writing, though the writing style matches Tosti’s own handwriting (several examples of which are available online). They told me they could NOT auction the pieces and they could send them back to me. So now, not only have I paid money to send them to London, it will cost approximately $250 US to get them BACK, with shipping and export fees. I asked them to cover the cost, since I sent them there only after their expert authenticated them in person and agreed to auction them, but they said absolutely not. I’ve let them stay there for several months, because I haven’t had the money to do this. I now have the money, but so many other things should take precedence, especially if ultimately they are worth nothing. There’s a chance another auction house would be interested in them, but that’s a gamble, and I need to have them back in order to show them to anyone and determine that. $250 is not a small amount to me, so I’m really struggling with what to do here. The only way I can get them back is to pay that amount, but I may be paying for something that’s of little to no value, but IS my property.

Perhaps the only options really ARE 1.) pay to get them back or 2.) leave them with Sotheby’s for good, but you guys might have other ideas. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Danger Will Robinson!!!

jtoth — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 20:14:21 -0800

How do you give a stranger warning that the new woman in their life is really a bad person? Suppose that you know this to be true, how could you give a "friendly warning" without getting too bogged in details?

Roommate predicament, should I pay or not?

thefinned1 — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:40:08 -0800

Roommate predicament, should I pay or not? Short summary: The former roommate in the house I was planning to move in to tried her best to be discreet about telling me that I might not be getting into a good rental situation when I asked her. I pulled out but left the live-in landlord with half my deposit as not to screw her over. Now the landlord has contacted the old roommate telling her she is liable for rent because things with me fell through. The old roommate was only trying to protect me – and now she is about to get hurt because of it. HELP! I need advice.

(Very) Long version: I arrived at my new apartment, ready to move in with my car half full of stuff ready to unload. My new landlady who I would be living with was at work, and the roommate who was moving out was home finishing up the bathroom cleaning. After checking out the empty room, I was headed downstairs to start with the first load of stuff, and I asked the roommate who was leaving if there was anything I should know about the landlady or the living situation before I took the plunge.

Her response left me baffled – she refused to go into any details until she got her full deposit back, but the look in her eyes and the fact that she felt worried that she wouldn’t get her deposit back from this lady didn’t fare well for what kind of situation I was about to get myself into. I tried to get more information out of her so I could make the right decision, but she wouldn’t budge one bit. She seemed very very nice, and sympathetic, and the more I tried to get info out of her, the more I understood that this was NOT a living situation I should be entering into. She even mentioned wishing that she had the phone number of the other roommate who recently moved out, insinuating that that person had a bad story to tell as well.

So...the former roommate and I exchanged phone numbers and agreed to talk later, so I could tell her what I was planning to do, and so that she could eventually tell me, once she got her deposit back, what was so wrong with the landlady/living situation, regardless of my decision. The landlady never knew that she and I came into contact, and we agreed to keep it that way.

After giving it much thought that afternoon, I decided that the best way for us all to get out of it – for me to not have to move in with a crazy lady, and for the former roommate to not be affected by my decision – was to make up a story that got me out of it. So, I did – I made up a life altering event, the end result of which meaning that I couldn’t move in. The landlady was sympathetic to my situation, I told her to keep the deposit money I gave her to cover the half month of rent that it could, and the former roommate wasn’t involved and should therefore get her money back – everybody wins, right?

So I thought until I received a call from the former roommate – the landlady called and told her that because things with the new roommate (me) fell through, she was still responsible for paying rent until she found someone who could take the room. Obviously this is unfair and ridiculous – the deposit money that I left should be what covers the rent until a new person comes in – but as far as the landlady knows, the former tenant and I never touched base, so she doesn’t know that we each know what she’s trying to do. The problem now being, this former tenant can’t get her deposit back from the landlady, and it’s at least partially, if not fully, my fault.

So – what should I do? Should I offer to pay the former tenant a portion or all of the deposit that she won’t be able to get back? That would be money I’m paying, literally, for NOTHING! Should I tell the tenant that I’m sorry she is in this situation, but I can’t help, and risk having her tell the landlady about our interaction, and therefore I would be held responsible for my end of the rental agreement?

I really want to do what is right for everyone, including myself…but what is right? What would you do in my situation?

I'm in California, if that helps/matters.

Opposing aphorisms

pgoes — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:36:38 -0800

I'm making a list of 'wise sayings' that contradict eachother. Examples: Many hands make light work.< -->Too many cooks spoil the broth. Look before you leap.< --> He who hesitates is lost. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.< --> Out of sight, out of mind. More, please, but not from 'pop culture'; rather, phrases more established in literature and ethnic/cultural history. Morals from Aesop's fables? Biblical quotes?

freelance- no taxes? no way!

pissfactory — Mon, 29 Aug 2005 10:49:44 -0800

I have a question about risk and ethics in freelancing- computer programming and web design. I met this fellow through a popular online freelance site. He needed a contractor and I needed work. He wanted to work outside the site we met on, which is a breach of that contract. However, I agreed. Now I have asked him about how his other contractors have managed taxes and if he will 1099 me. He said he had hoped to pay me "under the table" via paypal. Now, I'm not the most ethical person, but this strikes me as a) wrong and b) risky. He said he supposes he could pay me and 1099 me if I have to have that, but now I feel rubbed the wrong way and am not sure I should even be doing business with him. I'm looking for advice on how to conduct a reasonable freelance gig, your thoughts on the ehtics of this, and ideas on how to protect oneself against bad business situations as a freelancer. Thanks.

How do you handle witnessing small scale injustice when in public spaces?

verysleeping — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:24:04 -0800

On public transit last night, I watched a man tell off a panhandler with such vitriol I found it roundly disturbing. Yet, I did and said nothing. How do you all, and how should I in the future, handle these moments of small scale injustice? This panhandler on the el train was utterly berated by another passenger when he asked for some change. It was an ugly scene. The passenger went into a 5-10 minute rant, taking the panhandler to task using vulgar language, racial slurs, outright yelling and threating violence. The panhandler did not respond, but was visibly shaken and got off the train at his next opportunity. Everyone on the train, including myself, watched this unfold, saying nothing. As you might imagine I felt pretty icky afterwards, with a strong sense that I had shirked a moral obligation to intervene, to verbally defend the panhandler or at the very least comment (to the other passengers? to the Public? to the gods?) my distaste for the passenger's actions.

Mine is a somewhat extreme case but I feel like these moments, which are not so serious as to be deemed criminal but not so trivial as say overhearing an off-color joke, are fairly common. I'm wondering what to do when they arise again in the future.

Standing By Your Principles

ontic — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 11:11:57 -0800

I'm looking for fresh examples from literature (short stories, poems, or parts of larger works) that involve characters who stick to a set of good principles and are admired, even though sticking to the principles may involve some sacrifice for everyone else. A good example would be Le Guin's "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas". I'm also looking for examples in which people stubbornly stand by good principles when they are clearly getting in the way of some greater good. [MI] Ideally, I'm after stuff which would be somewhat contemporary, but still literary. Thanks!