Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with money

On the Mundane Aspects of Imprisonment

sleslie — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:14:21 -0800

When one goes to jail for a long time, how are the mundane aspects of one's previous life handled? What happens to the pets? If there's a mortgage and no one to assume responsibilities, is the house sold for the prisoner? Who pays the cable bill? Do you have to pay to cut your cell phone plan short of the contractual ending date? Who returns the library books?

How to handle salary discussions before you have a job offer?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:50:34 -0800

Help with salary negotiations? The standard wisdom -- which I've been trying to follow -- is that you aren’t supposed to talk about salary until after you get a job offer. But the organization began talking about it when they called to schedule the first interview. Suggestions? I applied for a job. They required a salary history. I sent mine, stating that I make, let’s say, $60k (the details are changed here; it’s less than that). An assistant called, saying they wanted to schedule an interview with me, “but [boss] wanted to flag the fact that the salary for this position is in the mid-40s. Would you still be interested?” I paused (a bit surprised, really) and said something noncommittal, like “it would certainly be worth us having more discussion about the position.”

Next, I had a phone interview with the supervisor. The discussion had very few questions about my qualifications (one question). The call’s purpose seemed to be to explain the position and allow me to ask questions. She brought up the salary, and said that they have “authorization” to offer up to $48k, what did I think? I said something like “I would want to consider the salary in light of the full package, including benefits and the opportunities for professional growth.” She explained the benefits package (including a matching donation to a retirement account, which I admitted would close some of the gap).

The job offers a lot of opportunity for professional growth; I'd be really passionate about the work; they’re a great organization; and I could still live on the lower salary (though my ability to save would go way down). If offered the job, I would like to take it. But a 20% salary cut is still hard to take. It’s a much tougher decision than it would be if they could close that gap a bit more.

How should I handle this? Should I start to openly admit that it would be a tough decision for me at their current budget? Should I continue trying to wait until they actually offer me the job (or not)? I’d rather discuss salary once we've decided if I'd be a good fit for the job. But if so, how do I field the question? I think they may have the impression I would consider taking the job at the current salary, because I’ve typically changed the subject to how I’d be very excited to contribute to the organization. I don’t want them to think I’m agreeing to it and then seem to change my mind later. Since they keep trying to get me to say that salary is okay, they may not have much flexibility, but they must have some, right?

How would you handle this?

The business of blogging

hadjiboy — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:35:56 -0800

Help me find a way to earn some money through blogging. I'm trying to support my self and my family now that they are not able to do so themselves. My dad has been retired from work for the past 15 years and in the interim has been running a stationery for the past decade or so. Now, he has reached the stage where he will soon be selling the shop for my younger sister's marriage and keep whatever money that's left for his and my mom's future. What I would like to do is contribute as much as I can for their financial survival. In this regard I've wanted to start a blog (which I have before, on a couple of occasions) and stick to it (the longest that I have lasted is a couple of months--three or four perhaps) and would like to add advertisements to it. I had tried to do this before, but ran into a couple of difficulties with Google Adsense, telling me that I had to fulfil some conditions. If anyone could help me out with this I will be extremely appreciative. Thanks in advance.

Resource for evaluating past stock recommendations?

ibmcginty — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:10:23 -0800

Is there anyone (especially online) who's collected reasonably well-informed stock picks from, say, 2, 5, or 15 years ago and explained why the recommendations did or did not work out? Is there a better way to track that stuff down than hunting around for old articles on financial websites? It seems like making the effort to learn from mistakes in the past would help guard against over-optimistic, irrationally exuberant picks today.

How can I use my law degree and still like my life?

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:47:38 -0800

I'm getting a law degree but I hate being adversarial. Any ideas for something fun to do with this degree? I know there are books about this question, but I thought some of you lovely people might have personal experiences you could share, or at least some outside-the-box ideas.

I came to law school because I wanted to be a public interest lawyer -- I like helping people. I have one year left before I graduate and sit for the bar. I have spent the last two years learning about indigent defense and working at the public defender's office. Even though I think the work public defenders do is very important, I think it makes me miserable.

I admire public interest lawyers who fight for good, but the truth is that I just hate fighting! That is hard to admit, and it took me a long time to own up to it, but it's just true. Fighting just depresses me.

If I could turn back time, I would never have gone to law school. I would have opened up an organic coffee cart near the beach, or become a dog walker or something. But now I owe $120K in student loans (and by the end of this year, I'll owe around $180K). So I sort of feel like there is no turning back...I'm going to need to get a decent-paying job just to pay off the loans, which means something in the legal field. ...Right?

(For anyone wondering how my debt could be so huge: tuition is $35K per year, and I get about $25K per year for living expenses. Cost of living in my city is pretty much as high as it gets within the US.)

How much interest for a family loan?

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:32:51 -0800

A family member loaned me money a few years ago. I would like to pay it back with interest. How much interest should I pay it back with? A few years ago, I had some financial troubles and I was too proud to ask for money. A family member recognized the difficulty I was in and wrote me a large cheque for a few thousand dollars. She told me to take it with no strings attached and just to pay it back whenever I could. She has been gracious about this and has never mentioned it since. It has taken me a few years to get back on my feet and I have been slowly saving up over the years to try and pay this amount back.

However, I would like to pay this back at its "real" value as the loan has been for a few years now and I feel it is only fair to add some interest to it. At the very least, I figure I should add some to it due to inflation and the fact that if the money had otherwise been invested, it could have grown a little bit.

Assuming the loan was for $2500, what would be a reasonable rate / amount to repay?

I could've used the money for beer back in those days.

Any Moose In a Storm — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:59:18 -0800

Found an old W-2 from the chaotic grad school years (2000) that I never filed taxes on. Is it still possible? Looks like I'm owed money. I used to work temp jobs from time to time, and apparently never filed for that year. I didn't work enough to have to pay taxes. Is there anything I can do to get my withheld back?

Which source of $$$ to use for medical school?

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:46:53 -0800

Paying for medical school -- which money to use? I'm starting medical school in Canada in September. I've got about $50k in US mutual funds and treasury bills, $15k in a Canadian RSP (which can be used to pay for education if repaid at a certain point), and the banks are offering a line of credit at prime + 1%.

The question is: how do I start paying for school and living expenses? Withdraw and use the investments, and then move to the line of credit when they're exhausted? Use the line of credit, and wait for the investments to grow in order to repay the LOC? Are the investments likely to grow in the next few years? Buy lottery tickets?

Do I have to go in debt over my friend's wedding?

gwenlister — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:44:45 -0800

Bridesmaid stress: My friend's wedding is costing ME a huge amount of money (it'll be over a 1000$ all said and done) and I do not have that kind of money to spend on anything. How do I explain this to her? One of my best friends is getting married new years eve this year and I am a bridesmaid. Already I have spent 300$ on the dress and shoes, and that alone is a hell of a lot of money for me. But there is more to come. I still am expected to pay for:
- hair and makeup the day of
- transport to the wedding (no car, so it'll be a 100$ bus ticket)
- paying for a hotel for myself the night of the wedding
- a wedding gift
- supplies for decorating her bridal suite (my assigned bridesmaid task)

Plus I got a message from her this morning that she wants me to supply nicer sheets for her bridal suite because the ones the hotel provide aren't "pretty enough". if the bed is a king size, which it probably is, I would have to purchase a set because no one I know has king size sheets I could borrow.

Basically, her wedding is stressing me out more than it is probably stressing her out. I want to make her wedding day as lovely and wonderful as possible, but does it have to mean costing me a thousand dollars when I am already in debt on my own? I have credit card debt and a student loan, and my salary gives me JUST enough money to pay to live and pay bills and leaves me with very little disposable income. How do I explain, without seeming super cheap and selfish because I am ruining her special day (which is kinda how she might see it), that I can't afford to do all these things? I do want to be involved in her wedding, and it isn't that I want to back out of all bridesmaid responsabilities, because if I did the cost would fall on the other two and both of them are no better off then I am. I know another of the bridesmaids is currently unemployed because she is taking care of her mother as she undergoes cancer treatment, AND she just became pregnant, so guaranteed money is tight with her too....

Am I being selfish? Should I just suck it up since she is my friend?

I'm also worried that if I DO say something she'll get really upset, freak out, and then start telling everyone to never mind, that she doesn't need her bridal suite decorated, that she doesn't need a bridal shower, that she doesn't need a stagette party, and would people please not bring gifts, etc etc etc. and basically cancel everything and go way overboard, when that wasn't the point.

HELP!

How to balance my budget and my social life?

cortisol — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 21:36:02 -0800

I will be starting graduate school in the fall (thanks for the great advice on my previous question!), and going from a quite comfortable salary to a typical grad student's pay. Obviously, in order to keep my budget balanced I will have to cut back considerably on eating out and other costly entertainments. How can I maintain some kind of social life without going broke, and without offending my friends? In the past, when I was worried about my finances, I've turned down invitations to eat out on that basis. I realized, though, that it could look to my friends as though spending time with them was worth less than the ten bucks for lunch. Situations like this, where I feel like I have to choose between spending money I can't afford or offending people I care about, tend to make me very stressed and anxious--which just exacerbates the problem.

Things are going to be particularly difficult because I won't just be socializing with fellow penniless grad students; I already have quite a few good friends in the city where I'll be attending school. This is great, of course, but most of them have Real Jobs and are used to eating at nice restaurants. Am I just going to have to find polite excuses to turn down most of their invitations (I'm sure I'll be busy enough to excuse myself without mentioning money) or is there some other solution?

Credit cards worth it?

Flamingoroad — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:36:03 -0800

I'm thinking of getting a credit card -is it worth it? I'm 22, in the UK and thinking about getting a credit card -I don't feel I need one (not a big or enthusiastic spender) apart from establishing a credit rating -is it worth it?

I understand the benefits -insurance, cash-back etc but it seems like a hassle -I'm perfectly happy just spending money that I have using my debit card.

However, as credit scores are partly based on duration of credit history I'm thinking I should get a credit card if only to prove to future mortgage providers (perhaps 3 or so years in the future) that I'm responsible with credit etc.

As I've also learnt that cancelling cards reflects badly on credit rating so any card I do take out is hopefully going to last me a long time.

I bank with Natwest and am thinking of taking out a credit card with them as it would be easy to pay it off each month with my current online banking setup. But there are no benefits/cash back with it. Aren't credit cards desperate for people to sign up? I might not too excited about credit cards but I don't want to miss out on decent benefits like cash-back etc if there's available.

In summary is it worth getting a credit card and if yes, which is the easiest to use, best 'perks' and recommended over the long term so I don't end up dealing with the 'financial clutter' resulting in opening up other cards in the future?

Any UK specific advice/opinion would be much appreciated!
Thanks

Pay Grades at SWA

polexxia — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:36:02 -0800

Does anyone know what a pay grade 136 at Southwest Airlines pays? I hate applying for jobs hen I don't even know if the position pays enough to make it worth accepting the job, and the information doesn't seem to be anywhere on their site.

How likely is MY bank to fail in the coming months?

croutonsupafreak — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:11:52 -0800

How can I evaluate the financial health of a US bank using publicly available records? I know that I'm being paranoid, but the news that the failure of a single US bank could wipe out 10 percent of FDIC's deposit-insurance fund, and that more banks are expected to fail in the coming year, has me worried about the safety of my heard-earned dollars.

I'd like to get a feel for which banks have the most exposure to subprime loans and financial shortfalls because of the housing downturn. Not sure if there's anything else I should consider as I begin my research. How do I begin?

How much overall do the major record companies pay to artists?

johnsu01 — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:52:49 -0800

What portion of major record label gross income goes to pay artists and how much does the average American spend on music each year? A few years ago I heard that (1) the major record companies paid 4% of their income to the musicians, and that (2) the average American spent $20 a year on music. I've tried and failed to find these figures again. The first seems especially difficult to find (or maybe I'm just being dumb). There is plenty of information about what the average contract gives to the artist, but I'm not interested in that -- I'm looking for aggregated figures. Help? .

Inspire me with your frugality

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:57:16 -0800

Total financial ruin filter: I am terrible at managing my very small amount of money. How did you learn to manage your money better than me? I don’t buy a lot of extraneous crap and I don’t eat out much. But I don’t budget either, and I’m constantly paying for stupid crap like overdraft fees and parking tickets – stuff that has to do with poor planning, also having to borrow from friends to make rent, bouncing checks, etc. Part of the problem is that I just don’t make enough money to get by. I’m going to school to get a degree in a field that offers much better pay than what I get now. I’ve also checked out some web resources about budgeting etc, and am meeting with a financial counselor soon. But I’m worried that the next couple years in school will send me into some horrible crisis that I can’t get out of! It’s even scarier because I have kids.

In the meantime, can you tell me how you personally pulled yourself out of financial crisis? Did you marry someone with better financial skills? Did you start making more money? How did you force yourself to budget and stay within that budget? How long did it take you to change your habit – or, if you were just born with good financial management skills, what exactly do you DO that keeps things sane?

Forgive me if this comes off as chatfilter, but I don’t think it is really. Your real-life stories are a good example to help me make choices about how I can do things better. Thank you!

make me a (counter) offer.

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:43:29 -0800

jobofferfilter: got a job offer! yea! now the salary negotation…ick. do companies always expect you to counter their offer? what now? after nearly seven years of freelancing, i decided earlier this year that i was tired of it and want to work for the man. after months of looking (damn the economy: my industry is one of the first hit when things take a downturn), i've finally been offered a position. yea! but because i've never been in this position before, the whole salary negotiation—urgh.

at the first interview last week, i met with the HR rep and the VP to whom i would be reporting. i clicked with both of them and the VP was very impressed with my work. i was asked to come back a couple of days later to meet with more people in the department and had great conversations with them as well. the job description is huge—but i have done everything on it in one capacity or other (and have produced a number of best-sellers). this position would also be the only one of it's kind in the department, with no present plans to add (altho that may change depending on growth—and they have been growing) nor any thought as yet as to advancement for this position. i was told (and i concur with the impression i got) that it's a very "make your own opportunity" environment so there is potential for good growth as well. i really like the company: great people, great benefits, great vibe, solid financial backing, been around for over a decade and it's recently grown a bit. they were very impressed with my work—and frankly, i really do think they can benefit from my skills in the department in which i'd be working.

when i first spoke to the HR rep, she told me the salary is $X0-X5K (and asked what i was looking for—to which i answered the industry standard at my [senior] level was $X5-Y5K) but at subsequent mentions it was $X0K. i was told the person in the position before was more junior, skill-wise and their salary was about $12K less. at the second meeting, the HR rep told me they were "very interested" in me and we had a frank conversation about salary. i let them know i'd be happy at $Y0K which was the middle of the range i gave them—and i believe i can present a very good argument for it. today i got an offer for $X5K; i was told they had to finagle that last $5K to get me but it's still $5K less than what i'd like. they also offered a six month review—as a pre-emptive measure, no doubt.

so…should i still counter? do companies always expect it? and if you think i should, what should i counter at? how best do i go about doing this? hope me, hivemind!

Help with student loan

Black_Umbrella — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:17:05 -0800

I am looking for the best general student loan company. What are your experienes with specific student loan companies? So I have managed to pay for the first 4 years of my 5 year program. But now I am completely broke so I need a student loan.

I have talked to a financial officer at my school who more or less said "most are good". What I would like from the hive are some of your experiences with specific loan providers.

Perhaps you may even know the "best of the best" loan providers if you have recently spent time researching this.

My permenent address is considered to be Maryland and my school is located in New Jersey.

I already recieve federal perkins and direct loans.

Misc. Information:
I NEED the loan to cover everything...i.e.: food, housing, books, tuition, etc

I just put myself into credit card debt by flying back to my school from Australia (study abroad). Can I increase my loan to pay off this debt and consolidate it under a better APR?

Am I allowed to increase my loan by a few grand, 3K - 4K, for my own personal use during my last year? Most will be spent on drinks, concerts and the occasional weekend trip - so not exactly a school expense, just a little NECESSARY relaxation.

Will shoot for money!

sixcolors — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:52:35 -0800

Tips for finding well-paying photography gigs? I started photography as a hobby in 2002. I've been taking a lot of pictures with my point-and-shoot digital and film SLR camera. I got a digital SLR last May. Since then, I've been taking tons of pictures, sometimes over a 100 a day. My confidence has been increasing, and I'm now interested in taking some paid photo gigs.

The problem is that I don't even know how to start. What kind of businesses should I contact? What kind of individuals should I contact? How? Email? Phone? Craigslist? Word of mouth?

Cash a check day before pay day?

Clay201 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:06:50 -0800

If I write a check today and it's cashed immediately, but the money to cover it won't be in my account until tomorrow, what happens? I stopped dealing with analog checks some years back. Most of my transactions these days are digital. I get the impression that, thanks to computers and what-not, things have changed in the banking industry quite a bit in the intervening years. So I feel I'm mostly clueless about current check-related procedures.

The situation:

I get a check at the beginning of the month, always by the third at the absolute latest. But I need the money today, it's only the second, and it hasn't shown up yet.

The questions:

If I write a check today and the recipient cashes it immediately (or if I just write it to cash), what happens? Does the bank look at my account and say "sorry, you don't have this much money" and refuse to cash it? Do they cash it, process it right away, discover that I have insufficient funds, and then hit me for the fees? (And if this happens, do they wait a day or so and then put the check through again?) Or do they cash it, take a day or more to process it - by which time the money has been deposited - and then everything is fine?

Yeah, I know this is not the way to conduct one's finances. Believe me, I don't normally do it this way. It's a pretty special set of circumstances. If you want to post to call me an idiot or tell me this is a bad idea, please also include in your post some information I don't already have or an account of your personal experience with this sort of thing. I figure that's a fair trade-off.

I've explored the possibility of getting a short-term loan (either personal or commercial). It doesn't look do-able and I'd rather not waste my time or yours discussing all the ins and outs of that avenue.

What is the best financial/tax situation for a family with a kid on the way?

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 06:27:17 -0800

What is the best financial/tax situation for us? Kid on way, financial aid eligibility concerns. Me: grad student for 2 more years, on a teaching assistantship (this covers tuition, fees, health insurance, and gives me a $1600/mo. stipend) and with some student loans on top (less than $10k/year). I also work in the summers, but make less than $5k. I also receive research grants sometimes ($5k-$15k). In 2008, I will only have been in the country for 2 months and will have an income of less than $5k. In 2009 and 2010 I will be be back on the normal track with $1600/mo. and some loans with perhaps 2-3 months of a travel grant of ~$6k.

Him: working person making a good salary (floating around 6 figures)

New factor: baby on the way at end of year (will be on Dad's insurance and Dad's company covers childcare)

The way that we see it, here are our financial options:

(1) Stay unmarried, he claims baby on his taxes.

(2) Stay unmarried, I claim the baby on my taxes. (But would this screw up my student loan/financial aid eligibility by making me look richer?)

(3) Marry and claim kid together. (Again, would this screw up my student loan/financial aid eligibility?)

Financial / 401k advice for a 23-year-old engineer.

decrescendo — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 06:26:06 -0800

Financial / 401k advice for a 23-year-old engineer. Considering the state of the economy and the price of oil, what should I do with my stocks. Also, I have the option for a 401k but I have no idea what type of 401k to choose. I have around 30k in McDonalds stock that is up 80% from when it was bought for me when I was a kid. Should I hold onto it and weather the storm? I keep reading rumblings of a recession and stock market crash but is that just a scare tactic? I don't want to get kicked back down to a 30% gain on that stock when it's been doing so well up until right now. It has defintely been a long-haul stock but I'm afraid I'm going to lose all that I've built up over the last 23 years.

Also, I've had the opportunity to enroll in a 401k from my company for the last 6 months. I haven't done it yet mostly because I have no idea what to fill out on the form. I have the following options. Any recommendations? I believe my company matches up to 15%.

Should I go with option 1 or option 2?

1. I elect to contribute ____% or ____$ (per pay period) of my compensation as before-tax contributions to the 401(k) Plan until
such time as I revoke or amend my election.

2. I elect to contribute ____% or ____$ (per pay period) of my compensation after-tax as a designated Roth contribution to the
401(k) Plan until such time as I revoke or amend my election.

Note: The total of your before-tax and Roth deferrals cannot exceed 100% or $15,500.00. Your before-tax and Roth deferrals must be specified consistently (both as a percent or both as a dollar amount). If I am 50 years of age or older and I am eligible for a catch-up contribution, I understand I may exceed this total.

I also have all of these to pick from. No idea what to go with here. Considering the economy and what I hear, I'd probably rather take a semi-conservative approach.

Maxim Aggressive Profile II
Maxim Moderate Profile II
Maxim Conservative Profile II
American Funds EuroPacific Growth R3
Oakmark International II
Oppenheimer Global A
First American Small Cap Select A
MainStay Small Cap Opportunity A
Maxim Index 600
RidgeWorth Small Cap Growth Fund I
Lord Abbett Mid-Cap Value A
Maxim Ariel Small-Cap Value
Fidelity Advisor Mid Cap T
Fidelity Advisor Leveraged Co Stk - T
American Funds Growth Fund of Amer R3
Davis NY Venture R
Marsico Focus
Maxim S & P 500 Index
Maxim T. Rowe Price Equity Income
Oppenheimer Capital Appreciation A
RiverSource Diversified Equity Income R3
Van Kampen Comstock - R
Maxim Bond Index
Maxim Loomis Sayles Bond Portfolio
Maxim US Government Securities Fund
PIMCO Total Return Admin
Guaranteed Certificate Fund 36 Month
Guaranteed Certificate Fund 60 Month
Guaranteed Certificate Fund 84 Month
Maxim Money Market

Any help would be fantastic.

The best things in life are free...

veryhappyheidi — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:45:16 -0800

My 13-month CD is just about up, and the current intrest rates are TERRIBLE! How should I invest 10k? I'm currently getting 5.25% on my CD which is up in two weeks. I'm young and carefree with no major responsibilities (ie no debt, no family to take care of, and my biggest expense is rent) and already max out the matching contributions on my 401K. Ideally, I would like to be able to get to this money in no longer than 3 years--bonus points if I can get to it in an emergency. Safe is probably better.

I know almost nothing about investing... what should I do? Thanks!

How to invest $5,000 for my family's future?

Elizabethse — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:45:15 -0800

I am a grad student, married with two kids—we're pretty broke. I just got an unexpected $5,000. What's the best thing to do with it to help my family? My goal is to expand it/invest it, but I am completely unfamiliar with the world of investing. We already contribute faithfully but meagerly to retirement and college funds. We live in California so there is no hope of buying a house or even a small condo.

Kinder Fee Per Finder, Keeper

AngerBoy — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:09:57 -0800

What's a fair finder's fee for someone who sent me a buyer for my used car? The mechanic who services our family's cars is a super nice guy, and does a terrific job as well. Recently we mentioned to him that we were selling one of our cars (a 1998 Camry, if it matters), and he mentioned it to a number of his other clients until he found someone who was interested in buying it. The deal went down today, and I'd love to toss a few bills his way to thank him for his help. What's an appropriate sum and/or percentage? I was thinking $300, which is about 5% of the sale price of the car. What do you guys think? Oh, and I'd also like to say that I'm REALLY proud of the title I came up with for this AskMe. Thankyouverymuch.

Help me get the hell out of Dodge (or rather, Arizona) and on track to feeling good again!

actionpact — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:10:22 -0800

My life is stuck and it's making me feel incredibly depressed. Help me see the light and get on track for getting out of here. This is long and a mess, and if you read it all the way through you're a champ because I feel like there's no simple catch-all answer to my problem. (I thank you in advance!)

I'm feeling this huge weight on myself that I just can't figure out how to shake. I'm relatively young (25 on Tuesday!) and a girl, and I moved cross country from CT to AZ two years ago to shorten up a long-distance relationship. Stupidly though, I really wanted to be carless, due to environmental and financial concerns. Since then I've spent most of my time being self-employed as an illustrator-- I love what I do, but so far I'm not being successful enough to stand on my own two feet. Jobs come sporadically, and checks come even more so. This is a huge point of stress for me, but I've always been told it takes a lot of time and effort to get off the ground, so I've been mostly okay with that. But the financial concerns are big. The mister has been really supportive and pays most of the expenses, but I'm still struggling over student loans and some small credit card debt. I bought myself a tricycle a year ago (didn't know how to ride a real bike, still don't yet) and it helped with my sanity level. I figured I could get around a little more and get a part time job to supplement things. But it got stolen a month and a half ago and I'm once again effectively a shut-in. Except for mister actionpact's friends, I really haven't met anyone here (despite some small efforts of trying), and certainly no one I feel close to, and no one I can be creative with. My close friends are scattered across the country now, and I miss them constantly.

Since I moved out here, I held two part time jobs-- each lasted slightly under a month and then I just quit, not showing up to work again. To be fair the reasons weren't totally offbase-- one I quit because my dad was in the hospital and I thought I'd need to go home, and the other I quit because it was too far for me to bike (nearly passed out in the process) in the dead of summer. But still, I'm embarrassed at the way I just ditched those jobs. Very unprofessional. I tried to apply to some more jobs around here since then but so far have found nothing. The jobs I've applied to never phone back. I figured that owning my own business and being self-employed would be a plus, but I'm afraid I'm unemployable. I can't seem to figure out what kind of useful skills I do have, so it makes the job hunt hard. I'm nice and friendly, though I'm not especially pretty, so I have been turned down from waitressing jobs, for example. I'm also afraid to look for a full time job because I know myself and I would probably slack on my creative efforts if I put my whole time into another job. Plus, I don't like it here, and I'm afraid to settle into a job and get stuck here. (Irrational? Sure!) I know I'm depressed about this all, and could use some therapy, but to make matters worse I'm uninsured, and the only therapist I could get to currently I can't really afford.

I know I'm young, and I know that things aren't entirely hopeless; fortunately I've been blessed with supportive family and my boyfriend, and I have an unsinkable optimism that things will eventually turn around. But I still feel pretty darn trapped right now. It's causing mild strain to my relationship which could further escalate, and I really don't want that. I started seriously exercising last week to help with the depression levels and feel more energetic. I just don't know what else I should do. A friend offered to teach me how to drive, and I believe we have a spare car I could use. But I've been so reluctant to do so. I don't know if it's the fact I'm already broke so the cost of gas seems impossible, or my own strong feelings on the subject of car use. Maybe there's something I could donate to in order to offset the emissions once I had more money. I've tried really hard to be carfree, but maybe I can't win this fight. This is a car place, so maybe I just have to live with the guilt for now.

Well, anyway I know this is long and I must apologize in advance (but it does feel good to vent). I know there are lots of people who have it much worse, so this kind of feeling mostly just makes me want to kick my own ass. But I know I'm not living up to my potential and it's making me sad, because I know there's a lot of good I could do if I were less afraid and more in control of my life. Mister actionpact and I both agree this is not the place for me; I hate it here really. I keep wanting to make a change (like move to someplace like Portland OR, or go to grad school at the School of Visual Arts in NYC) but I just don't know how to get there at this point. Any suggestions of what I should do? I know people say 'if you have an idea, make the leap! It can't hurt' or something like that--but it's really hard when I'm clouded by depression and loneliness and financial strains.

And maybe on a more specific note, could you answer this question? When I apply to jobs I don't know how to bring up the subject of those two jobs from the past. A friend of mine told me that these are crap jobs and you don't have to write these down, but more and more places have background checks so I don't know. Sometimes I don't write them down as part of my job history, sometimes I do. Either way I haven't gotten any work out of it-- not sure whether it's due to a lie of omission or the bad portrait it paints of me. I am a good worker, I just can't figure out how to show them this.

Thanks in advance. I've read a lot of helpful questions already but I still feel incredibly stuck, so I hope I can make 25 a better year than 23 and 24 have been!