Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with mixed

Can I Polish Up My Martial Arts When I Can't Afford a Dojo?

snap_dragon — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 08:54:16 -0800

Is it possible to practice and brush up on martial arts? I can't afford a dojo and only have my wife to practice on (!!). I know...rather sad. But she is willing to learn so I teach her. Can I polish up my previous learning? I have 3 years in karate 2 years in small-circle jujitsu (wrist lock flowing techniques, and not the Brazilian stuff...which would be great, though)...and a smattering of Aikido. I am not looking to be Bruce Lee or the best cage fighter. I am wanting to perfect what I do know. Is it silly to watch youtube videos and books that I have (excellent reference by Marc Tedeschi etc) to refresh myself as well as practice teaching my wife? What are your thoughts on training in a vacuum if you will? If you have any training ideas or opinions I am open for your knowledge or criticism. I don't want to waste my time.

New industrial architecture

lou — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:28:49 -0800

Looking for examples of creative, modern industrial architecture. When I think industrial buildings, I (and probably most people) imagine gigantic bland boxes, tens or hundreds of thousands square feet large surrounded by parking lots. But it doesn't always have to be that way, right? Zaha Hadid's BMW Central Building in Leipzig comes to mind, but even then, it's just a small piece in a collection of otherwise typical box warehouses.

What else is out there? I'd really like to see:
- Green - I'm thinking along the lines of LEED certification, or some kind of production in green materials.
- Industrial - light or heavy. Blue collar work environments. Nothing that's primarily office space.
- Mixed-use? If you can mix office, retail and residences, is it possible to mix industrial? Perhaps smaller industrial spaces? Does this even exist?
- On a similar vein, high-density is a bonus.
- The exterior environment is really important- It's not just the architecture that should be compelling but also the landscaping.

Alright, now please educate me!

can girls get friend-zoned?

paperlanterns — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:06:05 -0800

I'm a girl. How to get out of the friend zone with a guy? I know, I know. All that ladder, friend zone stuff is kind of silly. But I don't have a better way to describe my dilemma. I am in my mid-20s, I don't know how to rate my attractiveness but I think I am okay. my interests range from having good discussions about politics and history to conversations about great books to being a completely girly-girl to talking about fashion, makeup, celebrity gossip to sports to blah blah blah... the point is i feel comfortable participating in conversations about lots of different topics.

i have noticed sometimes that guys that are, i guess, for lack of a better word, fairly desirable (i.e. they are good looking, well educated, etc) in the area i like tend to befriend me and seem to enjoy conversations with me on the phone and in person. i do not really initiate these conversations but i am happy to partake.

i feel like (and this has happened with a couple of guys) what happens though is that i am always there as "the girl who is so easy to talk to" but i am never the girlfriend. like, i get told "you're so much fun and so easy to talk to, i cant do this with alot of other girls" and we end up talking alot and (i am sure, subconsciously i start to get emotionally attached on the basis of long hours of phone conversations) - but i never am the girlfriend of these guys. i am always the girl whose the friend.

does any of this make sense? i am sorry i am not verbalizing this well. i mean, i have ended up talking to some of these people alot (them always initiating) in the quantity that a girlfiend-and-boyfriend would talk; OR about very deep and personal things.

i am not saying guys and girls cannot be just friends -- i am happy to be a good friend and i think i am. but i guess, after talking to a guy like this for awhile, sharing your hopes/dreams/thoughts, etc. i start to get emotionally attached and begin wishing i had more of a relationship that just being "one of the guys."

how do i get across the point that i am interested without scaring a guy like this away? i feel like if i am blunt and express my interest, he will say no (which is fine and i can go back to bein regular friends), but he may not want to be as close to me anymore b/c he may think he is sending mixed signals.

i feel like, sometimes, if he hasn't expressed his interest in me by now, he's not interested. but i guess it would be foolish then, of me, to keep giving myself emotionally in these conversations correct? i should dial down how much i talk to this person, right, if my needs aren't being met?

What's my next move, if any?

Anonymous — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:28:39 -0800

Guy is showing me all the signs, constantly contacting me and flirting with me. Then he disappears?? I have very little dating experience, so I need wisdom. I am in my mid-20s, and not very experienced at all in dating, so I would like to seek some advice.

A short time back, I ran into an old schoolmate of mine. We were never in the same classes, but I remembered him from an extracurricular activity we both used to do. I barely noticed him at the time, and I think it was the same for him. We were always polite to each other, but never talked alone - always in groups. Literally I think I can recall about 3 maximum group interactions with him.

Fast forward 3 years. I've taken some effort since then to invest in my appearance and I look somewhat attractive now. Ran into this guy at a coffee shop, we both talked for like 10 mins just catching up. Walked out not thinking any of it.

About a week later, I get an email from him wanting to hang out and meet up. This really caught me by surprise, but I went with it. Had a good time with him, and we were both definitely smiling alot, laughing.

The day onward, he proceeds to call me, text, email - everything - pretty much everyday. I was flattered and I took these things as a sign that he was very much interested in getting to know me. We hung out a couple more times during the next week, and it was clear (to me at least) that we had chemistry.

A few days later (with him keeping up the same pace - its been like this for about 1.5 weeks), nothing has really "happened" between us yet... and I am getting antsy. (this is where I think my lack of dating skills comes into play). It seems to me like he is not going to say anything about how much we've been talking, hanging out (which is ALL initiated by him). I tell him I would like to know what's going on and where's this going--is this friendship or are we romantically interested in each other?

I thought that was a fair question. I tend to get really emotionally attached, and I was not in the mood to be in a relationship where we hang out like this ad nauseum with no idea if this is friendship or something more b/c he won't say anything. I am not looking for something serious, but yes, I do want to date him.

So he responds by saying he thinks I am attractive and likes hanging out with me. He also doesn't want anything serious and wants to just date, take it slow. I agree and say the same, but I told him I am really interested in dating (again NOT a relationship at this point in time). If this is just going to be friendship, then Iwould prefer we hang out less. (we were seeing each other like every other night, again, initiated by him). There was some light physical interaction after that, not really anything.

But since that night, we've talked on the phone once, when I called him. He then proceeded to tell me that since we are both busy, he will call me in a few weeks and maybe we can revisit the issue about us then.

WTF? Is this guy a jerk? Was I wrong for saying something? Is he just not interested anymore? I feel like I am not going to make myself look desparate, so I haven't contacted him beyond that phone call where he said "he would contact me in a few weeks."

I am just kind of annoyed though because I have no idea what just happened. I find him physically attractive and would like to date him. I made this clear by my words, I thought he was making this clear by his actions. But all of a sudden... he's gone?

Lost cause? If not, what should I do on my end to rekindle his interest in me? I feel so lame for writing that!

How to handle pushy former flame?

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 06:03:13 -0800

Do I stay or do I go? A former flame wants to be a friend, and I'm honestly at wit's end about what to do. [long explanation] Backstory: Two years ago, we met, clicked, started hanging out, and then went on a couple dates. At one point, I finally kiss him. He freaks out, tells me things are complicated with him, and then disappears for 2 years. We reconnect out of the blue last year. He apologizes for running and offers a good explanation (a year of hell before we met, including a broken engagement, health problems, family issues, etc.). We began dating, but I was dealing with some issues of my own at the time and got nervous as things progressed between us. He noticed my discomfort and suggested we stop dating so I could focus on getting better, telling me he wanted me in his life no matter what, and reassuring me that he wasn't going anywhere (he was very busy with work and noted he probably wasn't going to be actively dating because of it). He offered no guarantees, but if the timing worked out when I was feeling better, said maybe we could try again. He was pretty busy then so we continued to infrequently hang out as friends, though we were both still giving pretty clear signals of being into one and other.

Three months later, I said I was ready to try dating again and got an initial "I'm not sure," followed up with a "I care for you very much, but the age difference makes me too uncomfortable," [he's 34 to my 24 and yes, this is something that has actively bothered him in the past for reasons that he hasn't been able to explain], "I won't be able to open up to you until you've had more good relationship experience," [I am admittedly quite inexperienced in both dating and sex, all so far bad], "the timing for us is bad; not now, maybe later," and we should plan on seeing other people in the future. His delivery was poor and I was upset; I didn't speak to him for awhile. We patched things up a month later but kept things limited to email for another month (until the beginning of April). When I finally offhand mentioned buying him a drink for something, he was surprisingly eager to get together in a way that left me not knowing what to expect. Over drinks, he casually mentioned that he'd started seeing someone else two hours away away (whom I later found out was likely not much older than me, ie a year or two). I played off the "Are you going to slap me?" comment he threw out after that, but it hurt to hear, especially because he didn't think it might hurt my feelings.

Now this guy persistently wants us to be friends. But lately, talking him is just hearing all about the good stuff going on in his life, with very little prodding from him about what I'm up to. I've always been pretty supportive of his career pursuits (I'm bit further along in a similar field), but now I almost feel like he's cultivating me networking contact. He's definitely planning around having me there as a resource over the next few months, without offering much support in kind. In the meantime, while I have some fun seeing him, I also find myself missing the guy I used to really enjoy hanging out with: the one who lost track of time talking with me until 2 am, who walked me home at night just to make sure I got there safely, and was more supportive/inquisitive about my life. Since we've stopped dating, that filter that stopped him from saying careless things that I'm sensitive to (for instance: a health issue) just isn't there anymore, though to his credit, he apologizes when I neutrally bring up that he's hurt my feelings. Honestly, I can't tell if this means he's self-absorbed or if I'm being oversensitive. He hasn't always been this way when we weren't dating, but I think this is the first time we've been hanging out when he hasn't been romantically interested in me.

I care for him and admire him a lot, so it's hard to just cut the guy out of my life (and our particular career paths mean we're going to be bumping into one and other in the future anyway). But I can't keep hanging out with him without raising the issue of how one-sided our friendship feels to me these days, and I don't think he'll get it. I also can't stand the thought of being there to watch things working out with his new girlfriend - or the thought of becoming the "second runner up" if they stop seeing one and other. I know I deserve better than that. He periodically raises my mental question of "Just what the hell is going on in this guy's head?" and I'm finally starting to run low on patience.

If you've gotten to this point, thanks for reading. What do I do, hive mind? Give myself some space for now? Just cut him out completely? Or do I to suck it up and make this friendship work right now? I really do want the guy that I met as a friend and want to be supportive over the next few months, but it's honestly painful and exhausting right now - I have no idea what would make it better. Or maybe I just need a bunch of people to yell at me for being too patient with this guy after reading all of this; my advising friends are mostly biased, not knowing him personally and still stuck on the 2-years-gone part and steadfastly disliking him to begin with, even after his apology. And I'm just so inexperienced with this kind of stuff that I think it's clear that I'm unsure of myself and how to handle things.

throwaway email, by the way: zutalors@sneakemail.com

ISO: Artist featured in art mag years ago

mizrachi — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 08:03:21 -0800

A number of years ago I saw a photograph in an art magazine of a work by an artist I'm having trouble remembering. The photograph was of an ethereal and calm beach scene, with an endless blue/green sea and a washed out horizon, and tiny plastic figures placed throughout the water and beach at various positions, so that from our perspective these figures looked human and real. Any idea how I can find this image or artist?

What is this amazing drink?

mustcatchmooseandsquirrel — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 16:46:05 -0800

A bartender made me an awesome drink that had basil, cucumber, strawberries, and (white?) rum in it. What was it? I think that he combined the first three in a mortar and pestle and later added rum (and maybe some other stuff?). It was not very sweet at all but tasted light and refreshing and nice. (at least I think it was. I was already on the far end of schnockered when I drank it)

What is this drink? Or, how can I create a drink from these ingredients that tastes amazing?

Help me find music to divorce by.

ScarletSpectrum — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 11:15:33 -0800

Untying the Knot: Songs about Divorce. My friend was recently divorced, and while the breaking-up part was emotionally devastating, she is viewing the actual signing of the papers and being free as a celebratory event. Thus, she is holding a "Divorce Party" at our local dive bar in a few weeks. I want to make a CD of songs about divorce to present to her, and I need the help of the hive in coming up with just the right mix. So far I have:

"Divorce Song" by Liz Phair
"Last Day of Our Acquaintance" by Sinead O'Connor
"D-I-V-O-R-C-E" by Tammy Wynette.

Bonus points if anyone can find a hair/metal band who tackled this subject - Amy's a gigantic cock-rock fan. Thanks in advance!

Recording audio from Windows mixed output

rxrfrx — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:36:29 -0800

How do I set my (Windows XP) PC to record audio using the mixed output as the recording source? I built my own machine with an M-Audio Revolution 5.1 and can't figure out how to do this. On my previous computers (Dell laptops and desktops, all using onboard audio) there was an option in the Windows recording control settings to set the recording source as "mixer" or "mixed output." This would allow me to easily record (e.g. in Windows Sound Recorder) anything that was coming out of the speakers (e.g. audio from a video playing in YouTube).

I'm pretty sure I also had this option on an old desktop using a Sound Blaster 16 or Awe32.

The Recording Properties options on my computer (with the M-Audio software installed) are "Cd/Aux Monitor," "Line Monitor," "Mic Monitor," and "Mic/Line." These all seem to refer to external inputs, and none of them takes audio from the mixed output.

Sour mixed drink recommendations.

slimepuppy — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 03:14:08 -0800

Sour/bitter mixed alcoholic drink recommendations. I'm looking for sour mixed drinks to enjoy.

I like my alcohol to taste like alcohol. I enjoy stouts, ales and lager and when I want something with a bit more kick, I enjoy (good, old, single malt) whisky.

However, I know veritably nothing about mixed drinks and want to expand my repertoire (and take advantage of more of the shiny bottles behind the bartender). The only mixed drinks I have enjoyed have been gin & tonic, vodka martinis and screwdrivers. The latter being just about borderline too 'sweet' for me (depending on the quality of the orange juice used). I can drink Fruitburst Whateveritas, but I don't really enjoy it.

So, hivemind, please help me find mixed beverages that satiate my desire for 'oomph' in drinks. I apologise for the vagueness of the question, as I don't really know what 'base' alcohol is good to use for what I desire (otherwise I would've used one of the online databases...)

I'll drink anything once or twice.

The Piper is down

jadepearl — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 19:58:25 -0800

songfilter: I am trying to compile a CD of pop/rock tunes that uses the bagpipes or its assorted cousins including keyboard fakery to achieve a celestial set of tones that only squeezing a bladder with a mouthpiece can provide. Besides, "Do you think I'm sexy" from So I Married an Ax Murderer , "Long Way to the Top" by AC/DC, the Church's "Under the Milky Way" and Big Country's "In a Big Country" what other pop/rock tunes can the green board suggest for bagpipe assisted seduction?

Mocktails

ontic — Mon, 03 Jan 2005 00:52:56 -0800

Looking for the best non-alcoholic mixed drink recipes. Most of the sites and/or books I've seen are lacking in the QA department. [MI] I'm hoping I haven't missed this question from before.

I seem (unfortunately) to be unable to drink alcoholic drinks without experiencing dehydration and hangover symptoms an hour later. I was once at a bar that had a large list of great, non-alcoholic drinks, so I know they're out there. I thought I'd start building up a non-alcoholic bar and ordering these kinds of drinks at bars. Bonus points for drinks that can be produced with things regular bars have on hand. Even more bonus points for non-dairy and/or non-icre cream drinks (though I'd love to hear about those suggestions too!)