Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with misunderstanding

What walks like a duck and quacks like a duck yet may not be a duck dealing drugs out of his house?

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:16:41 -0800

What walks like a duck and quacks like a duck yet may not be a duck dealing drugs out of his house? I'm certain my next door neighbor is dealing drugs out of his house. Yay! I think I'm taking all the appropriate actions, though. But, what if I'm wrong? What else can inspire random people to go to a house any hour of the day and night and stay for only twenty minutes or so and leave? Could my neighbor be so fabulously charismatic yet terse in his relationships? I'm not looking for advice or confirmation of my situation. I know what is going on. For a moment I would like to be Mr. Roper, though, and for this to be just a big misunderstanding.

If we go out on a date, I won't drug you and take your money, I promise!

sixcolors — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:03:02 -0800

How to not scare away "normal" potential dating partners with my VERY strong rebellious and thrill-seeking streak? No emo sixcolors' post...Just kind of curious.

I think I've come to a realization lately that I underestimate how threatened some people are by me. Due to early life experiences and inherent personality traits, I am very skeptical of authrority. I am also the type of person who would do almost anything for a thrill, the word "no" is seldomly in my vocabulary.

These two attitudes are often expressed in the stories I tell about myself or my friends, and the things I joke about.

Normally, I wouldn't care what people think about me, regarding this matter. Both of these traits are fundamental to my personality, and I have no desire to change, in fact I would be quite scared to so. I fear if I stop questioning authority, I will be taken advantage of, and it has happened earlier in my life many times. And if I give up the thrill-seeking, I will miss out on life.

But, I do care if I am interested in dating someone who may turn me down, because they are scared that I might harm them or put them in danger somehow. I get that response on occasion.

I want to communicate that while I might have some rebellious views, and joke about outlandish things, I would never act out on most things I talk about. I actually have a clean record, not even a speeding ticket (though some might not believe it). As for the thrill-seeking, when I said I say "no" is seldomly in my vocab...the keword is "seldomly". I refuse to do things that are highly illegal or unethical. And just because I try not to judge some of my friends for the fucked up things things that they do, doesn't mean I condone it or I would do those things myself.

I need to know who made this prank phone call!

lukeklein — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 10:52:19 -0800

Who made this recorded prank phone call? It's SO funny! When I was younger, I went to summer camp and a friend of mine had this HILARIOUS collection of prank phone calls by a group similar to the Jerky Boys, but I am almost certain that it wasn't them. Anyway, here is a little excerpt from what I can remember. I believe the premise is that a foreigner is calling a translation or international advocacy group, and the operator is having difficulty understanding the caller...

Operator: ...I'm sorry I don't understand.

Foreigner: Yes.

Operator: Can you call back on Wednesday?

Foreigner: Yes..... No. What? Wednesday what? What is Wednesday?

Operator: Can you call back on Wednesday, the day after tomorrow?

Foreigner: Tomorrow?

Operator: No, the day after tomorrow.

Foreigner: Tomorrow?

Operator: No, sir. The day after tomorrow.

Foreigner: Tomorrow?

Operator: ....Yes. Please call back tomorrow...

Foreigner: OK!!!

Anyway, the sketch in its entirety is GUT-BUSTINGLY funny. If anyone remembers this from their childhood and can remember who it is, please let me know!

Is this cultural miscommunication, or am I being scammed? How to proceed?

Anonymous — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 20:57:59 -0800

Looking for advice about how to handle a cultural misunderstanding...or possibly a scam. Not sure how to reconcile the experience and associated feelings, and especially unsure about how to deal with the situation in the most sensitive and informed way. I met and lived with an amazing family in Mexico recently. We shared stories and spent meals together and laughed a lot. I was looking forward to returning again the next year. A few days after I arrived home in the US, I received an email (in Spanish, but I am not fluent) from one of the family members, "Mary" (mid-30s, mother). She asked how I was doing and then launched into a story. Mary explained that she was walking around with a large sum of money (we're talking the equivalent of thousands of US dollars) and she was either robbed or lost the money. She went on to explain her financial problems, and also asked that I not say anything to her mother (giving the explanation that her heart was too delicate and she couldn't handle such news). Mary never outright asked for money, but her sharing of this info was awkward because we weren't THAT close to begin with.

I haven't responded to the email and I am not sure how to proceed. I certainly won't be offering any financial help, but I feel as though the relationship is now irrevocably damaged. Unless I am missing some nuance or cultural difference in this situation, I think this is an attempted scam. It breaks my heart, because I am now unsure whether its wise to keep in contact with any of the family members, and am questioning whether I should go back next year. I feel especially bad for the mother, if she is unaware of this behavior, and I would hate to lose the bond I (thought I) built with her (and Mary). I also wonder if this has happened to other guests, and if something should be mentioned or done about it? But most of all, I feel as though my wonderful, heartwarming experience of their gracious hospitality has been tainted, and this saddens me.

I have had past experiences to know that I am usually a pretty good judge of character. Mary's email comes as a complete surprise. Can this situation be repaired? How? How should I respond? Would it be foolish to think I could stay there again, or is that walking into drama?

Thanks for any insight on this situation!

Don't let me be misunderstood

cosmicbandito — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:42:53 -0800

Please help me find movie scenes that feature miscommunication/ misunderstanding. Extra points if the scene is funny and the misunderstanding is between a customer and a service worker.

Are there some things you just dont say?

petsounds — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 18:45:17 -0800

Am I a jerk to mention that our relationship might have an end? Heres the story: my girlfriend wanted to know what to get me for my birthday and I responded that id like a small book of her illustrations because, I said, i love her sketches and want them to remember her by. OOPS. she asked where i was going, and I had to explain that all I meant is that it's highly probably that theyll be a time *sometime* in the future when we decide to not be together anymore, but that even if we do separate ill always have our memories and the book. Needless to say, this threw her for a loop and she has withdrawn from me emotionally and physically. I think shes convinced I want out of the relationship... but that couldnt be further from the truth. I love her very much, but ive been in relationships before and know that these things do end-- people change, or grow tired of each other, or many other circumstancial reasons. My question is-- was I really being a horrible jerk for pointing this out? Which one of us is being immature? I know that it doesnt matter objectively as long as she took it the wrong way, but me and my ego are still curious to know what people think. I guess my real question is do most women really believe that they will spend the rest of their life with their current boyfriend? Also, whats the best way to tell her im sorry without having to lie and retract an honest belief?

My dad doesn't like my religion.

bigmusic — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 20:45:31 -0800

How do I get my father to understand me? I am 30 years old, a non-theist, and my father is in his late 50's and a Pentecostal pastor. I became an atheist/non-theist after many years of prayer, soul searching, meditation and researching when I was 20. I "came out" as an atheist when I was 22 or so and told my father that I don't believe like him anymore when it comes to religion/spirituality. Since then he's basically told me that

1) There is no such thing as an atheist
2) "God is working on you, son."
3) Every story he hears that seems unexplainable to him except by a supernatural act seems to be an immediate and press proof of a deity... and I hear about it over and over again
4) Any time I get a present from that side of the family, there is a little bit of something Christian/Pentecostal slipped in there as well.
-- and many, many other sideways comments from his wife or him.

This is a man that believes in demons, angels, and miracles. Prophecies happen and God is talking to people now. Dreams are very important to him. His beliefs are fairly well in line with the vineyard group of churches.

This all came to a head the other night when he asked about a book that I was reading "The Singularity is Near." Any topic of this sort doesn't sit well with his faith at all, but the way he attacked the ideas felt like an attack on me. I hung up on him. I called him back a few days later and told him that I didn't want to talk to him for a little while, that I loved him, but he said some things that upset me.

Now what do I do? It's obvious to me that he's not going to let this go. It should have been obvious years ago. But he *can't* even begin to imagine the world without his God and his spiritual life. He literally lives in another world and reality. So I can't even think about where to begin with him.

Basically this all comes down to what kind of relationship I want with my father. I don't want to proselytize him like he's done to me. I don't want to set limits on what he can or can't discuss with me. I guess I just want him to love me without any ulterior motives and accept me the way I am -- maybe even be a bit proud of me. I accept him the way he is, don't I deserve the same? Has anyone been able to successfully navigate these waters?

Any advice on how to deal with this situation would be very helpful, and personal stories are encouraged.

Did Putin really mean 'deplore'?

altolinguistic — Mon, 25 Apr 2005 07:31:13 -0800

After reading this article and hearing a story on BBC radio, I was left wondering - is Putin really 'deploring' the collapse of the USSR? Or by 'catastrophe' did he just mean 'important and far-reaching event'? Russian speakers please help! I know very little Russian and haven't seen the original speech (I presume he was using an interpreter). So could he have been misinterpreted here?