I have a brother who needs to learn about feminism. This is important because we have delightful conversations other than when he says things that make me want to shake him until his teeth rattle; he's got some fairly fucked up unconscious assumptions about women. Having dealt with my own unconscious assumptions on many occasions, I've found that I do best with resources that have me as their target audience, especially when the ideas are new. I'd like to give such a resource to my brother--one that is therapeutically gentle/learning oriented with where he's starting as a man, but which also helps him get some of the feminism basics down. I'm not looking for general feminism 101; I'm hoping to find more male-targeted resources. Engaging tone is preferred to academic, but I'll take what I can get.
How did you “know” you’re trans? [more inside]
For Reasons, I need examples of stereotypically "macho", successful, "strong" men throughout history (or modern!) who also exhibited and or/talked about having compassion for others. Bonus points if they engaged in documented "sensitive" behavior to their family or friends. [more inside]
Men linking arms is still a common sight in many parts of the world, but it is not in the Western world. It was, though, up until relatively recently. When, how and why did this custom fall out of fashion? [more inside]
This has been asked before, but the responses to that inquiry seem a little dated, so I will ask again: what are some good brands for wool pants for men? [more inside]
Specifically if a man identifies as feminist, should he then understand why a woman would take stories of sexism against other women personally? An ongoing source of conflict with a man in my life is that we'll discuss something sexist happening in the world and when I want a moment of commiseration about it like "man, that sucks, what a shitty world, I'm sorry" he won't give it and doesn't understand why I take it personally unless it is something that personally happens to me. [more inside]
Looking for some examples of male role models who are confident but not arrogant. Basically "good guys" who are secure in their masculinity. I prefer people who are still alive, around 30-60 years old, and well-known (e.g. no scientists that no one outside of their field has heard of). They can be fictional as long as they're in movies or TV, not books. Chris Pratt comes to mind - not particularly suave exactly, but he comes off as very secure and genuine.
For the love of God, and WHY am I the only guy that doesn't do this? [more inside]
Help me find a new shirt for the Mister. [more inside]
I recent watched and loved All the President's Men. Journalists chasing the truth, 1970's aesthetic, Redford and Hoffman, it had lots of appealing aspects. I then saw and liked (but did not love), Three Days of the Condor. What similar films should I search out ?
Men with medium (ear to chin) length hair - how do you get your locks looking so luxurious? Basically, how do you go from this to this?
A little while ago I showed my boyfriend, who has sometimes infuriating views about women, this College Humor video about women's hymens. After watching this, he said that the video was sexist towards men. Why am I so angry, and is that a fair assessment? And how to defend feminist positions more cogently than I presently do? [more inside]
It's been a long year for Draccy. I've separated, started divorce proceedings, had a huge mental health scare and am currently battling loneliness, shame and desolation. My hand aches where my wedding band used to be. I used to fidget with it. I miss it. So here's the scoop. [more inside]
I need help finding underwear that is comfortable for me. I am a man, about 260 pounds, and I only like briefs. Embarrassing details inside. [more inside]
How can I feel more comfortable around men, and find men who are gentle and solid and who I might like to date (as a queer/bi trans woman)? [more inside]
I'm looking for clothing stores within driving distance of Dayton, Ohio that are known for their quality. [more inside]
What are some good men's style blogs for someone who hates most men's style blogs? [more inside]
Inspired by the EL thread and the askme on it after following this moving thread about male socialization, what can I do as a parent (specifically a mother) do to help my sons grow up to be happier and healthier feminist men in a toxic patriarchy? What resources and strategies can I add to my parenting toolbox?
So my sister is getting married next week, and I'm the Maid of Honor and have been planning her bachelorette party for months. However, her groom -- for various reasons I won't bore you with -- has found no one on his side is going to be throwing him a bachelor party. I'm thinking I may have to swiftly organize a bachelor party or some kind of event for the groom as well, to keep my sister happy and of course for his own enjoyment. Are there any ideas for what to do? [more inside]
I am trying to find Mens short sleeve shirt made by non slavery / fair labor. [more inside]
It's time to live my best life and the current rotation of boxer briefs isn't cutting it. I'm looking for recommendations to restock my drawers drawer. [more inside]
I went on a first date with a guy I met on a dating website, we got on really well and I thought everything was great. I haven't heard from him since and now I am struggling to stop thinking about him. Any help on what I should do? [more inside]
I'm looking to change my hair care regimen so that I can keep my hair thick and manageable as it typically is after not washing it for a few days. [more inside]
I find my style transitioning from one of jeans and a t-shirt to khakis and a Polo. Please help me build my wardrobe! [more inside]
I need fashion role models that are stocky and/or balding men. Bonus points if they are also weirdos and/or freaks. [more inside]
I'm making up my spring and summer reading list for a new project and I need books that look at the concepts of masculinity, dating and sex (for boys/men) written from a feminist perspective. Specifically, books that tackles the following subjects: Gender and sexuality spectrums, dating and relationships (anti Game stuff), teenage boy/young men psychology, parenting feminist boys, sex education, whatever, the whole deal. Ideally, I'd like more academic texts- but give me anything you like. Even things that you think are tangentially related or reading list links that you think might fall in line. Thanks!
A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
Hi Brilliant People! I'm researching organizations and leaders in communities of people who are anti-feminist and working to preserve male supremacy, masculinity building for men who may be viewed as weak and techniques used to promote these ways of thinking. Actual people and organizations doing this would be helpful. Also any depictions in film, tv, literature, etc. would be great. Also, any new stories you know of men who have been traumatized by this kind of treatment. Thanks so much!!!
I've seen lots of TV shows where someone will get a guy up to speed with grooming, help him come up with a "style", take him to the right cosmetics people, hair stylist, etc. I want this overall service too. Do these sorts of people exist in real life, what are they called, and can I find one here in the UK? [more inside]
I spilled bleach on a beloved rugby shirt, and would like to try to repair or replace it. Help? [more inside]
I would like to do some reading on a subject I am having trouble wording; the best I can come up with is "positive feminist masculinity." [more inside]
Several years ago I had a supply of affordable, plain, white Jockey shorts. I am skinny. They fit great, not loose or baggy. Not made anymore. Any suggestions?
What songs have lyrics dealing with male vanity about one's good looks, grooming or dress? Here is the song that prompted the question: Mr. Poppleton's Moustache. Any genre is acceptable.
I'm looking for the most creative perfume branding and packaging design. It could be a unique cap or bottle design, but more importantly I'm looking at the labels, colors, and boxes. What are some of your favorites?
My husband is a giant (6'7")and I'd like to get him some Christmas presents that will make his life better. [more inside]
I'm a guy in Los Angeles. I need some sexy, funky, S&M/leather-friendly, ankle-height black boots for rocking out on go-go platforms, cruising around at Burning Man, and generally pairing up with scandalous outfits at club nights. My budget could be up to $350 for the right pair. In-store only, because I'd really like to try them on. Where shall I go?
Gentlemen - What are your favorite grooming products? [more inside]
Hello, I am working on a photography project --hoping to profile a few modern day cowboy bounty men who operate in the West (preferably find people off the beaten path) and who have a strong "cowboy look". Thank you in advance for your help...
I have a very very niche job. I've been doing it for over ten years now and have made about $28,000 per year. Because of my experience, I was called in for a meet and greet. It was going to lead nowhere. So, I pretty much blew it off, and blew the next one off, and showed up to the third because it was on my way home. They hired me and gave me a job that pays about $786,000 per year. I was told that they had reservations about me and told me they were bothered by the fact that I wore "denim with unpatched holes" at the interview. I didn't even think I was being considered. This is very unreal. And now I will have a job that pays me more in my bimonthly check than my last year's entire gross. I will be working with a different clientele, and my position will have more prestige than previously. So how do I dress? [more inside]
Unfortunately my dating pool has narrowed so much that there is nobody left to date. [more inside]
This is my current bag, a military surplus canvas haversack. I love it. This is the bag I'm coveting. I would love to love it but it is Way To Much Money. Where is the bag that meets these two in the middle? Where are the Excellent Leather Men's Bags on sale? I am looking for something I can carry without comment (and will last) for the next 20 years.
If Don Draper were a graphic designer, how would he convince a client that his job was indispensable? Any examples on how he handled condescending clients? [more inside]
I am nearing 40, but my skin is in pretty good condition. My regimen to date: wash face in shower daily, and also wash with bar soap as needed. I'd like to make sure I take good care of my face in my coming fifth decade and beyond, perhaps with unguents, emollients, and tinctures! Do you have recommendations? Need not be overly manly, but preferably not particularly greasy. [more inside]
I have a question about men's neck hair and shaving; looking for input and suggestions. [more inside]
Which clothing stores in NYC have good casual/business casual clothes for larger men? My boyfriend and I are going clothes shopping this coming Saturday to prepare for an upcoming trip. He has a suit, but other than that, all his clothes are jeans and tees. For this trip, we are looking for: casual button down shirts (oxfords or plaids), non-jeans/non-khaki trousers, a sport coat or blazer, and some shoes that fall in between the New Balance sneakers he usually wears and the nice black shoes he wears with his suit. Sizes and price range below the cut. [more inside]
What stylish mens haircuts are low/no maintenance? [more inside]
I'm living on the west side of Cleveland after working abroad for some years. I had a good stylist while I was abroad, but since coming home to Cleveland my hair cuts have been butcher sessions. Please help me find a good men's stylist around Cleveland so I can get a decent haircut for the first time in a while. I'm willing to drive a bit if the recommendation is solid.
I'm a mid-20's guy who often gets told that I look better with longer hair. Unfortunately, I'm terrible at styling so I usually stick with shorter lengths. Lately, I've been trying to grow the 'do out a bit. Although I am able to leave the house looking alright, if the wind is blowing I am liable to end up looking like a crazy person within moments. Please share with me advice on how to tame my hair into submission! [more inside]
I've read The Multi-Orgasmic Man. I find Eastern, energy-based philosophy hard to grasp, because moving energy throughout the body is very much experiential and intangible. It's not not like learning physical movements (sports, martial arts, etc.) [more inside]