Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with maternityleave

Help with planning/proposals and options for Maternity Leave!

miss_scarlett — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:34:21 -0800

So, Happy news: Pregnant! Dilemma: Maternity Leave options & planning I have a wonderful and unique position in my organization, and am the first (and only) individual to hold this position. I have built the job from the ground up, according to the
mandate of our department and also around my own skills, interests and abilities.

But - I do work alone. No one to 'cover', even in a rudimentary way (well- aside from message taking) whilst I am gone.

While I have no intention of leaving, or being away for a VERY extended period of time, I do plan on taking some time after the little one is born.

My *ideal* (possibly pipe dream) situation would be to take 2.5-3mos off, and then arrange a .7 return for a few months more - possibly even with a take-baby-to-work option - before returning full time.

I have, so far, had a difficult time finding any precedents/accounts of unique situations when it comes to maternity leave! Any insights, suggestions or personal experiences mefites have to share would be greatly appreciated - and to be clear, any perspective is valuable to me (worker, employer, SAHP, WAHP or what have you)

Pertinent information:
-I am categorized as a Full-time, 'Out of Scope' Employee for an organization that is VERY family oriented
-my job is research and communication based - I work solo (sometimes with volounteers onspecial projects) and meet by appointment, so potentially ok for on-the-job baby
-I live in Alberta, Canada
and
-I have not yet contacted my HR Department - I want to go in with as much information and as much of a 'proposal' as I can!

Returning to work after maternity leave when my boss doesn't want me to.

Wantok — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 15:03:29 -0800

Returning to work after maternity leave when my boss doesn't want me to. After working full time for the same small professional firm for nearly three years, I recently had a baby and took maternity leave. I told my boss early in my pregnancy that I intended to take six months leave and he seemed a bit shocked, asking who was going to care for my baby (um, there's this thing called daycare) but I didn't think about it too much while he is an older gentleman with a traditional and sexist perspective, we've always had a very good and close working relationship. I ended up being hospitalised at 28 weeks until the birth and therefore left work with no notice but while there, I reaffirmed in writing that I intended to be back at work six months after the baby was born. I heard from coworkers that to replace me he had hired two women - one working three days a week, the other three and a half. It's now January and I have daycare arranged for March, so I went into work last week to talk to my boss about coming back and to give him a start date. My intention is to return for three days initially and then move back into full time within two months and while he accepted that (legally, he has to) he again seemed shocked that I would put my daughter into childcare and insinuated that having a job was really just a hobby for me. He complained about there not being enough room in the office for everyone and the troubles he would have fitting me in and finding me a desk. The impression I got was that I would be splitting my time between sitting next to the photocopier in a hallway and sharing a desk in the admin pool. Before I left I had my own office next to his.

I didn't really say much during the meeting but I left angry and stressed about returning to work, whereas previously I had been looking forward to it. I am very, very good at my job and their reluctance to give it back to me and instead sideline me into a minor admin role stings. He has never had a staff member go on maternity leave before and obviously believed that I would change my mind, hiring permanent staff to replace me. So my question is, am I entitled, as I believe, to return to a identical position and office to which I left and how do I approach this without creating more drama and bad feelings? I am terrible at confrontation and speaking up for myself in the work place and would really appreciate help with a plan of attack and confirming my rights. I am in Melbourne, Australia.

Graduate school during maternity leave: good idea, or bad?

jrobin276 — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 21:58:18 -0800

I am 30, happily married, and in the middle of next year will be eligible for a year of paid maternity leave. Around the time I become eligible, I am also starting grad school (MLIS at U Wisconsin, Madison). I feel like I could probably manage any two things: work + school (part-time), work+baby, or baby+school.; but not all three. I am attending graduate school part time via distance education, and my work is supportive.. For those of you who've had kids in graduate school - to what extent do these two mix? What worked and what didn't? I feel like if I go to school part time (3 years or so) and then start trying for the kid, I'm pushing the age thing (I'd be about 34 - and I have mild endometriosis). If I have a year of paid maternity leave, could I use that time to attend school full time? Or just part time? This would be tricky in person, but I would have at least some additional flexibility due to it being distance education. My husband, for what it's worth, pulls his weight around the house (he's actually neater than I am) and is pretty domestic/clucky.

24 weeks pregnant facing bedrest!

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 08:40:34 -0800

24 weeks pregnant, facing bedrest and woefully underprepared for the birth of this surprise baby. FMLA, bedrest and c-section questions inside. Anon due to medical/work questions. Throwaway email: surprisebabby@gmail.com.

I am 24 weeks 5 days pregnant and entered the hospital Thursday with heavy bleeding and frequent painless contractions. I had two shots of Terbutaline to reduce the contractions which worked but not long term. They did work long enough to slow the bleeding substantially, although ultrasound showed one more large clot that will probably pass soon. I've been on magnesium sulfate for about 36 hours, being weaned off by half a gram per day. I've had a rhogam shot and two beta methazone shots for baby's lungs, along with two rounds of antibiotics for group b strep. I am now stable (not in labor) and baby is tolerating all of this very well.

I have been aware of this pregnancy for exactly one month, so I'm feeling a little behind in preparing. I have some questions about FMLA and disability leave, preparations for possible bedrest, and general HALP BABBY! type questions.

First up, my husband and I WERE trying for a baby- I was on metformin to regulate my cycles but mostly what it did was mask my early pregnancy symptoms, of which I had very few (no vomiting, 2-3 instances of mild nausea). I had heavy bleeding in my second month, which I assumed was either a menstrual period or the irregular bleeding I experience with PCOS. Otherwise, I have felt perfectly normal, and a metformin followup visit brought the pregnancy to light when I was 21 weeks along. I have a bicornuate uterus and I am at risk for pre term labor and breech positioning.

My questions:
I just faxed off my FMLA paperwork on Wednesday. I understand the whole procedure as it relates to a normal or mostly normal birth--but if I am released from the hospital this week on bedrest and required to use FMLA to cover that, I will be expected back at work two weeks before my due date, if I am lucky to keep baby inside for that long. And if she's in NICU, I am not about to want to deal with TPS reports. I have short term disability (which has to be taken consecutively with FMLA) and long term disability, which I haven't had much chance to look into. I want to have all my ducks in a row before I talk to HR. (I am based in Minnesota, company HQ are in New York.) I guess if I'm put on three months of bedrest, I still want my twelve weeks of postpartum leave, too--knowing that my company is not necessarily obligated to provide this. (I know they value me, a lot, but no one is irreplaceable, especially when they're asking for half a year off.)
- Could long term disability apply to my situation, leaving short term and FMLA for post-birth? I will use up most of my sick days on this hospitalization and have only a handful of vacation/personal days left. What other questions should I ask HR?
- It might be possible to work from home if my doctor is okay with it. My company generally doesn't like people to work from home, but I'm willing to ask for it. What other questions should I ask my manager?
- I like my job and was planning to return to work--but we don't NEED me to work to maintain something close to our standard of living, even with the added expenses of a baby. Insurance is through my husband's job. At some point, should I just consider quitting if they can't or won't work with me on leave? Is there a way--and would it be ethical to do this--to get the six weeks paid disability (and any long term that qualifies) used up before I officially quit, just for that extra bumper of savings?

Possible bedrest
- my doctor has indicated that I may need to go on bedrest or modified bedrest. We have a lot of friends and family around to help, but they will need direction. What do I tell them to do?
- I have read the other threads on not going crazy while on bedrest. Additional ideas are welcome! I already play an MMORPG, quilt, read, and have podcasts lined up. Any other tips?

HALP BABBY
- I need some help prioritizing my baby-prep tasks, especially if I'm going to be taking care of them from bed. We don't have: a pediatrician, car seat, names picked out, nursery furniture, baby items, wills/living wills, etc. I do have an amazing, supportive, and about to be totally overwhelmed husband, and the aforementioned family and friends. My biggest priority upon getting home is packing a proper hospital bag for our next visit, so I won't have to send him home piecemeal for more socks and underwear and stuff to read. Beyond that--pediatrician? Wills? Please help me prioritize and delegate!
-well before I was pregnant, it was important to me to have a natural, medication- and intervention-free birth. I struggled with taking met to increase my chances of getting pregnant because it felt like cheating. Now, of course, I've already had much-needed interventions and am preparing myself for the very likely possibility of a c-section (she won't have much room to turn around due to the shape of my uterus and I understand that ECV is generally not recommended for high-risk pregnancies). I am very scared of having a c-section--everything from the epidural to hemorrhaging on the table afterwards. Please point me toward some c-section positive resources. Also, any questions for my doctor regarding bedrest, pre term labor, or c-section I may not have thought of?

Thank you for reading this far!

What company should I try to get in now in order to eventually take advantage of their great family benefits?

coupdefoudre — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 09:41:59 -0800

What companies (preferably located in NYC) offer great maternity/family care benefits? Since I am looking for a new job, it seems like a good time to try to get into a company where I can stay for a while and eventually take advantage of great family benefits.

MeFites, can you share your knowledge of any companies that have stellar family benefits, i.e. day care on site, paternity leave, etc.?

Planning maternity leave: lump sum or gradual payout?

tristeza — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 08:24:41 -0800

Maternity leave: did you space yours out over a year (if your place of employment offers that option)? How did it go? Did you regret not taking it all up front, or were there real hidden benefits? I'm trying to strategize my (generous) maternity leave and would love your opinions if you've been through this.

Technically, I can take 6 weeks recovery immediately following the birth (if I end up with a C-section it's 8 weeks) followed by 4 months of parental leave in the year after the birth.

My initial plan was simply to take my 6 weeks recovery followed immediately by 3.5 months full leave, about 2 weeks of work for a grant that has to go in at that time, then the remainder of my leave. (This will all begin mid-July so Christmas/New Years is theoretically in play, too, when we'll be visiting family across the country.)

My partner suggests I might want to space out my 4 months leave a bit more in order to enjoy time with the baby once she's a bit older and less sleep/eat/poop only.

I technically have a full year to take the 4 months off, which can be broken up. I've never known anyone who's done this, however, and while it seems like a nice idea, part of me is stuck on "MUST TAKE ALL LEAVE AT ONCE."

Do you have any experience with this? Did you take an extended/broken up leave in the first year of baby's life? Did you want to but couldn't? Advantages? Disadvantages?

Any thoughts appreciated, I'm really struggling with this (oh, and this is my first and only baby!).

Mat Leave Job Serach

Anonymous — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 19:54:48 -0800

Is maternity leave the wrong time to start looking for a new job? I've been thinking of leaving my job for a while now, but I got knocked up and am now pregnant with my first child. So I figured it would be best to stay put, for now. Since I've announced my pregnancy my boss has been a total dick. He's taken away my good assignments and given me crap ones and has no qualms about working me harder now than he did before. Now I REALLY want to quit.

I've been at my company many years and have fortunately accrued around 130 sick and vacation days. I've worked it out with HR so I can be on leave for six months after the baby comes. I was hoping to use that time to look for another job.

Has anyone done this? My biggest fear is that after six months of not working or sleeping my brain will turn to rice cereal. I've heard from a lot of moms that going back to a job they knew well was incredibly hard after maternity leave and that attempting to start somewhere new would probably be worse. I'm also afraid that having a new baby will make me a less than stellar employee for a few months which I can probably get away with at my current job but I'm not sure that would fly at a job where they don't already know me to be a good employee. On the other hand, I really hate my job right now. Every day that I have to go there, I'm filled with dread. The idea of going back after the baby makes me ill. But I obviously will, if I have to.

Any and all input appreciated.

What can I do to help my wife transition back into the working world?

aeighty — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:07:10 -0800

My wife's going back to work after a year worth of maternity leave (we're in Canada). I expect a large amount of separation anxiety from both the baby and the mom. We've talked about this a bunch already. Basically we both acknowledge that's it's going to be hard for her. What can I do to be more supportive? What has/hasn't worked for you? Is there anything I can do to ease the transition?

How to hand over a job with the least pain for all

arcticwoman — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:49:19 -0800

I am going on maternity leave in three weeks and may not have overlap with my replacement, so I won't get to train them. How do I prepare my team for this change? How do I prepare my replacement from afar? What are best practices in job handover? What do you wish your predecessor had left you? I work in a small regional branch of a large not-for profit. My job is primarily to coordinate one large and two small programs and manage a team of 40+ volunteers. We have a HUGE corporate computer network with files sometimes 15-20 deep, and a spread-out admin/finance/HR structure, so it can be difficult to find resources or even the right person to ask questions of. With that said, it's an incredibly supportive organization, and so there is always someone to help.

I use Raiser's Edge and several other specialized programs as part of my job, in addition to a google calendar, signup schedule, doodle polls, text messaging, and other technological tools. I am the only one in my office (although not the only one in the org) who knows how to use many of these, so the newb won't easily be able to get help.

What I need to know is how best to handle the job handover. What sort of notes or files do I need to leave for them? Is it helpful to have detailed instructions for each of the tools I use? Is it helpful to have a description of what I make sure is done on Monday, Tues, every other week, by the 20th of the month, quarterly, in August - or is that micromanaging?

When you started your job, what did your predecessor do to make sure the change was smooth and you had the information and resources you needed? Or what do you wish they had done?

How to best negotiate new schedule after maternity leave?

Anonymous — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:57:08 -0800

I'd love to get advice on how to negotiate returning to work 4 days a week instead of 5 following maternity leave. My situation is complicated (or seems that way to me) by the fact that I may also be advocating for a promotion. Six months prior to my leave, my boss was laid off and I took on a number of additional responsibilities. My current boss and the head of my department indicated that he wanted to give me a promotion for this additional
work. This did not happen before I began my leave, however, and I have since learned that another colleague has been given the same title as my previous boss, although I do not know whether the job description has changed.

I need to start by determining my job responsibilities with my boss. My question is when do I bring up the fact that I only want to work 4 days a week? Based on past experience with the organization, working 4 days a week is not likely to change my job description; rather I will be expected to get the work done in 4 days rather than 5. For that reason, I am somewhat hesitant to take a cut in salary, but my highest priority is more time with my son. Officially woking from home one day a week is almost certainly not an option based on precedent (though I will ask).

Other things that might be helpful to know about the situation:
I work for an art museum
My greatest leverage is the excellent relationships I have with many donors
I have been at the museum and in the same position for 4 years

Many thanks for your thoughts and advice!

Need advice on finding a job while pregnant.

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 07:03:00 -0800

I'm seven months pregnant. I need to find a new job, stat. Advice? I'm a statistician/researcher in a scientific field, working as a contractor for the federal government. The last budget? Slashed my main project, and as of Monday I'm on leave without pay until my company can find me more work. I don't trust my company to actually do this, not in any reasonable length of time. I'd love it if they could, though, because I'm seven months pregnant, and am very much looking forward to my 6 weeks of paid maternity leave that I should be starting in exactly two months. I'm worried I'll be let go before then. I'm not sure how evil my company is. They could lay me off before then, or they may take pity on me and at least try to string me along on other projects until June.

Either way, the long term prospects of working in my research group aren't good. I need to find a job. In my line of work, it could take months to find a job. Ideally, I'd like to start looking and applying for jobs right now, and then tell any prospective employers that I'd be starting in mid-August or early September. I'm very obviously pregnant, there's really no hiding that fact at this point.

So, my questions are:

1. My partner's employer just started offering domestic partner (and dp's child) health insurance (yay!). If I get laid off, and have to go onto that, will they cover me immediately? I don't want to go on COBRA. I'm certainly not excited about changing health insurance at this point in the pregnancy, but it seems to be the obvious best option.

2. I should be looking hardcore for a job right now, right? I'm worried I'll screw over my chances with prospective employers if I go into a job interview at 8.5 months pregnant. Not only do I worry I'll look desperate, but I'd rather not deal with the unconscious biases, etc.

3. If everything goes right, then I'll keep my job until I go on maternity leave. Then I'd start a new job shortly after returning from maternity leave. Will there be any penalty for this?

4. Anything else I should be considering at this point? I want to cover all my bases. I'm trying my hardest to keep a level head, and not be stressed, mainly for the health of the little man living in my belly.

Posting anonymously, for obvious reasons. Throwaway e-mail: soon.to.pop@gmail.com.

What happens if I change jobs during maternity leave?

Anonymous — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 07:15:14 -0800

I’m on maternity leave. Another employer has contacted me about the possibility of a job. I would prefer this potential job to my current job. What legal and financial issues (such as having to repay insurance costs incurred during my leave) should I expect to face if I take the new job and don't return to the current job from maternity leave? Additional information:
-My current employer and I are in New Jersey.
-Both jobs are with large companies. They’re regular, full-time positions with benefits.
-I need to keep medical benefits without interruption.
-Until now, I had planned to go back to my current job at the end of my maternity leave.

More questions:
-If the new job becomes a firm offer and the new employer will put it in writing, would it be better for me to quit the current job and use COBRA until I start the new job?
-If I will owe the current employer reimbursement for insurance costs, which costs will I owe? Premiums? The actual costs of the services rendered?
-Is it worth seeing a lawyer who specializes in employment issues?
-Where can I find more information about this issue?

How much maternity leave should I take?

shopefowler — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:44:05 -0800

Self-employed and planning maternity leave - how long should I take off? This is my first kiddo. I'm a freelance graphic designer, and work out of my house. I'm thinking of taking off a month, and then gradually starting back from there. Given that my job is very flexible and not at all physically demanding (I could go days without leaving the house if I wanted), does that sound reasonable?

Am I nuts to think I'll actually have time for this stuff?

printchick — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 13:21:25 -0800

Besides doing all I can to guarantee my baby becomes a genius, what can I do during my 8 months of maternity leave to be more productive and keep my brain from turning into mush? I'm due Aug. 1, but I figure it's not too late to plan. I know the first months will be hectic and I will want to do nothing but sleep, but other than that, what can I get done? I'm thinking about making stuff to sell online at Etsy, selling stuff on Ebay, watching a ton of documentaries and TV shows from Netflix, signing up for a baby swim class or something, finding a moms group in the neighborhood, scheduling lunches with another friend who is also going to be on leave, dipping more into family genealogy, that kind of thing. I figure I'll be spending a lot of the winter months at home and I'll need to find ways to not go nuts. Any ideas? Online courses or certification type of things out there? If you had this time, what would like to do?

How to accentuate the positive in a resume?

jessica — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 10:31:02 -0800

How do I tailor my resume to a position I have no direct experience in? Bonus: What to do about employers who think I want to have babies? Background: In December I graduated from university with a BA in Anthropology and Criminal Justice. My original intention was to go to law school, but after much debate, decided I didn't want to spend three years and over 100k pursuing something I wasn't sure I even wanted to do. Prior to returning to school three years ago, I worked as an executive assistant and alternately as a technical support engineer. My current resume is geared towards an executive assistant position. However, after speaking with several recruiters and going on a few interviews I have been told I am over qualified and my salary expectations are too high for what is available. (Let me vent for a moment that one prospective employer took one look at me and started talking about consistency and maternity leave not being available. I'm 28, look younger, but this has come up twice so far.)

Anyway, I found a great entry-level consultant position at a major software vendor that looks very promising. I would fulfill a good percentage of the job requirements (I have a BA but not a BS). Several years ago I received my MCSE, but never had an opportunity to really utilize the certification. According to the job description, networking knowledge is a plus. My problem is I'm not sure how to go about tailoring my resume to a consultant position. Especially an entry-level one. It would be great to list the MCSE, but it's been years since I've even thought about networking anything. Any additional resume tips are appreciated. I am also concerned about how to handle my appearance/age. I know it is illegal for them to flat-out ask me how old I am, however I don't know how I can deflect any underlying doubts they may have about my pregnancy prospects (which are zero). Of course I wouldn't dream of bringing the subject up, but perhaps a few subtle hints that this is not in my future plans.

Returning to Work... Part-time

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Feb 2005 18:19:05 -0800

I'm currently on maternity leave from a job that I love. I had planned on returning to work once my leave was up, but I've now made the decision to stay home with my baby. However, I would still like to work for my current employer on a freelance basis. What's the best way to break the news to them that I'm not coming back while hopefully leaving the door open for future freelance/contract work? I don't want to burn any bridges.