My partner and I are looking into buying a house Do we need to get married in order to have protections relating to said house (including inheritance of the house if one of us dies + the ability to sell the house and divide the money if we break up)?
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posted by NoraReed
on Feb 26, 2013 -
12 answers
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside.
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posted by six sided sock
on Feb 26, 2013 -
40 answers
We've decided to get married. Yay! I am the female half of a straight couple, if that matters. In the near future, we want to go to our local (US) courthouse and have a civil ceremony with just a judge and our immediate families present: his parents, my parents, his sibling+partner, my sibling+partner+child. Later this year, we'll throw an informal party and invite our extended circles to that as a larger celebration/reception. Our immediate families are supportive of this plan and just want us to be happy, but I have already gotten some pushback from friends and it gave me pause. So I guess I have questions about the practicality and etiquette of our plan and... whatever else we haven't thought about. Neither of us has been married before.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 26, 2013 -
53 answers
My [possibly workaholic] wife works seven days a week as a ski instructor. I live and work two hours away during the week, and then I drive up to see her on the weekends.
When I'm there on the weekends, I spend an average of four hours a week with her. Usually she is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from working so much. Needless to say, it does not feel like she is there for me.
When I tell her I would like to spend more time with her, she tells me I'm too needy and dependent on her.
I would like her to take off a Saturday or Sunday every week so we can spend time together. Is that asking for too much? What other requests/things can I do to make life more manageable?
Thanks for your help.
P.S. You get bonus points if you have worked in the ski industry and can explain how difficult it is to ask for weekends off! :-)
posted by speedoavenger
on Feb 24, 2013 -
53 answers
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little under 3 years, and we have lived together for over one year. We are in our late twenties. We are extremely compatible 90% of the time, have so much fun together, are mutually supportive, generally very communicative, and love each other deeply. We get along with each others' families, we travel and live well together, and we share so many interests. I am ready to marry the man, and he is maybe/kinda/sorta ready to marry me. Ouch!
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posted by tentwentythirty
on Feb 22, 2013 -
57 answers
My husband just got laid off from his position today. It's with a large company and he had excellent reviews but their revenue stream has not been up to par. They told him his position has been eliminated. However, he is welcome to reapply if and when blah, blah, blah... My concern is what is the right way to help him. He has never been laid off before and for the most part never thought this could happen. He is very optimistic by nature. He does seem a little shell shocked. My job is not going to be able to support our family. What are the first things we should do? I am also concerned about his mental well being and being a supportive partner while he looks for a new job. To make matters worse (or whatever) we have one in college, one applying to colleges, one getting ready to apply, and one freshman in high school.
posted by lasamana
on Feb 22, 2013 -
25 answers
Do you know of any websites, textbooks, regular books, podcasts, magazine articles, movie clips, etc, having to do with the multitude of rules that couples during the Victorian era were subjected to? Have to be at least somewhat credible. More details inside.
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posted by camylanded
on Feb 22, 2013 -
19 answers
I think I have a problem with self esteem. Objectively, I know that I am a physically attractive person. This has been confirmed by plenty of people throughout my life. I want more than anything to be told by my husband that I am beautiful in certain ways, but he can't or won't. I don't want to need something from him that he is unable to give. How can I either stop focusing on this, or learn how to validate myself without his input?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 22, 2013 -
33 answers
My husband is suffering the sexual doldrums of early middle age. Unfortunately, it's a catch-22: you have to be motivated to seek help...but when your sex drive is that low, you really don't care. How can I help him even want to have sex again?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2013 -
30 answers
I think my marriage may be irreparably broken. The idea of splitting up is agonizing, but if things don't turn around soon, I can't stay.
But. I don't know what to do about our cat, and it's tearing me apart.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2013 -
39 answers
It seems to me that if you've been fairly happy for many (10 - 25) years, this trend would continue. For many people that doesn't seem to be the case. I am interested in hearing theories or experiences regarding that.
How can something that worked for so long cease to work so suddenly?
posted by Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night
on Feb 19, 2013 -
71 answers
I have a good husband who treats me well. But he shouts in arguments every once in a while -- once every couple of months, maybe -- and I don't have a good sense of whether I'm overreacting to this. I'm curious: Is there an appropriate way to shout in an argument or is it always inappropriate? And do you or your spouse shout?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 18, 2013 -
44 answers
Need advice to sort out my marriage after a very stressful time - very extended explanation inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 12, 2013 -
15 answers
Marital quarrel where both partners were equally at fault (in different, unrelated ways). What are some frameworks/techniques for talking this out evenhandedly without the conversation shifting to be mostly about only one person's concerns, ignoring the other's?
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posted by Bardolph
on Feb 12, 2013 -
27 answers
My marriage is in bad shape and I feel a lot of anger and resentment toward my husband for his lack of initiative, follow-through, and logistical/emotional support within our household, especially during times of crisis. But right now I feel like I'm dealing with the mother of all crises, and on a practical level it would be folly to leave for at least a year, nor will I be in a position to focus on giving him one last honest shot at fixing things for months. What tools/attitudes/approaches can I adopt or employ to keep from making things worse and even more unsalveagable over the next few months?
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posted by SomeTrickPony
on Feb 8, 2013 -
17 answers
I am happily married but have fallen in love with someone else. I think the intensity of my feelings for this other man is due to the fact that I’ve only ever been in one relationship before; I think I am experiencing this the way a teenager would.
How do I get over this ‘in love’ feeling?
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posted by Lollie1974
on Feb 8, 2013 -
14 answers
About three years ago, my wife was visiting her mother when they discovered a cute puppy running around on the property. The mother took the puppy home and there was great rejoicing. Flash forward one year.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 7, 2013 -
45 answers
Should I be worried about the direction my casual relationship with a married guy is heading in? If so, how do I tactfully deal with it?
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posted by houndsoflove
on Feb 4, 2013 -
36 answers
This is a question for those of you who are married (or have an SO): When it comes to things like personal correspondence, is there still such a thing as privacy?
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posted by Telpethoron
on Feb 2, 2013 -
65 answers
Because I am prone to bouts of idealization and sometimes don't have my feet rooted in reality, I want to hear from those who are happily married or in a committed relationship with someone with whom they plan to build a life with.
I have *not one* real life example of a healthy functioning adult relationship, and although I have periods of loneliness, I can't imagine living like any of the people around me do.
Are all relationships just people fitting into each others dysfunctions? Are there real ones out there that work, or is that the fantasy ideal that we all chase after and never achieve?
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posted by tenaciousmoon
on Feb 2, 2013 -
18 answers
Talk to me about being married, but choosing to live apart. It sounds... awesome, for so many reasons. And I have heard that people do this. But I don't know any real people who have done it. If you or someone you know has this type of relationship, i'd like to know more about your experience. Examples of the type of stuff I want to know is:
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posted by windykites
on Feb 2, 2013 -
10 answers
Hello. The other Boston area marriage counseling posts are several years old. I hope metafilter can help me find a good marriage counselor.
My husband and have been together for 17 years, married for four years. He is at his wits end dealing with my depression (which I'm currently in treatment for).
We need to talk to someone soon. Please give me some recommendations of good couples counselors.
posted by anonymous
on Feb 1, 2013 -
5 answers
We've been together almost 2 years and at first I thought he was almost a perfect match for me. We got along, he made me so happy, he's so sweet, makes me laugh, and considerate. I know that every relationships get into the comfortable phase but lately I feel like he has taken me for granted and has gotten way too comfortable to the point I'm starting to lose interest in our relationship. I no longer look forward to seeing him and want to be alone, say I love you, kiss, or anything.
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posted by Asian_Hunnie
on Jan 30, 2013 -
49 answers
I'm getting married this summer, in a small, casual, non-religious wedding. We're not planning to have a wedding party, and haven't been able to come up with any good ideas for an officiant, so we're probably going to try to do without one of those as well. Have you done something similar? How will the logistics work out here?
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posted by duien
on Jan 28, 2013 -
42 answers
I'm a writer married to a jazz musician. I always hoped I'd end up in this sort of arty, creative marriage. But there's a problem that is becoming overwhelming. In spite of fully expecting me to experience and support his art, my husband never, ever, reads anything I write. Not a two-page story or a blog post much less anything longer. He says he feels awful about never getting around to it (and I've made it clear it's fine if he hates it—I just want him to be willing to check it out) and he seems to be sincere... But he still doesn't read it. It really hurts me.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 26, 2013 -
90 answers
I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this?
(I've tried to anonymise this as best I can)
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 24, 2013 -
45 answers
I'll be blunt: I think I married a man who is too good for me. I'm having trouble dealing with my feelings of low self-worth and am tormented by insecurity. It's like the relationship version of Imposter Syndrome.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 21, 2013 -
27 answers
Where are nice places to get married somewhere in or around Seattle? For the place, what is the general cost? If the specifics help provide a better answer, we're trying for a late-summer, weekend ceremony and reception. Probably 55-65 people.
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posted by Blazecock Pileon
on Jan 20, 2013 -
18 answers
Have you been in a marriage or LTR where you were on the brink of breaking up but then you didn't? If so, how did that work?
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posted by dawkins_7
on Jan 15, 2013 -
10 answers
Can I do an Angelina Jolie and get married for a third time while still maintaining my integrity? Please help me with your opinion.
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posted by Youremyworld
on Jan 13, 2013 -
38 answers
My husband lied to me in a multi-part, well crafted way, about something stupid. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, and I don't know where to go from here.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 11, 2013 -
48 answers
My husband was married briefly and divorced over 20 years ago. Since then, his ex-wife has remarried, divorced again and recently remarried. My husband and his ex wife have had no contact since before the divorce. She has just (out of the blue) asked if my husband was baptized (he was not). She said she would need him to fill out some paperwork acknowledging that he hasn't been baptized so her new marriage is recognized in the Catholic church. Can someone explain what my husband's baptismal status has to do with her current marriage being recognized? They are divorced, there was one child born from their marriage. Could she be trying to have their marriage annulled??
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posted by getyourlife
on Jan 1, 2013 -
18 answers
How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 27, 2012 -
22 answers
A couple of weeks ago, I moved out of my marital home (details in my posting history). Whilst I seem to be doing okay, most people expect me to not be. In fact, they seem to expect a fragility and sadness from me that I'm not feeling even remotely. This has lead to some judgements from people that I could have done without.
How can I navigate the sympathy of folks during the holiday season without having to pretend to be an emotional mess (which I'm not) and without suffering judgement from people who don't know the whole story (Which I can happily live without).
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posted by six sided sock
on Dec 22, 2012 -
27 answers
What are some good SECULAR reads (books or websites are both great) on getting engaged, marriage, etc.? Particularly for those who are not engaged but would like to get engaged in the (maybe not-so-distant) future.
Also, some relationship-specific questions inside. Primarily, when's a good time to get engaged?
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posted by BenS
on Dec 18, 2012 -
30 answers
I'm having difficulty navigating very different cross-cultural (U.S./El Salvador) family dynamics. Can you please offer me books, links or your own best practices on keeping an international marriage strong?
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posted by Coffee Bean
on Dec 14, 2012 -
8 answers
Can someone help explain my boyfriend to me? Special snowflake, yadda yadda, you are not my (or his!) therapist, etc.
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posted by domo
on Dec 13, 2012 -
55 answers
We're moving the week before Christmas. Soooo let's have a Christmas Eve picnic! Suggestions for food and decor?
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posted by spunweb
on Dec 9, 2012 -
12 answers
For people who were/are in a long-term relationship, what were your reasons for cohabiting or choosing that over marriage? Was the former a path leading to the latter? Or were the two independent choices and you picked one over the other- and why? If you chose one over the other, did things turn out the way you expected or otherwise?
Basically, I am interested in knowing why people who cohabit actively choose that, over marriage, if thats also an option. Did the results corroborate the premise?
posted by xm
on Dec 6, 2012 -
60 answers
My wife of many years, and mother of my two children, is having (perfectly understandable, given the context) mental health issues that are making my life miserable. I want to handle this as lovingly as possible, in a way that will best protect my kids – please help me weigh my unpleasant options!
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 4, 2012 -
38 answers
Marriage fizzling; need your best holiday coping methods to get through the rest of the year.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 4, 2012 -
12 answers
