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519 posts tagged with marriage by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 519.

Coping with uncertainty after asking alcoholic husband to move out

Last night after the final trampling of my boundaries, I asked my husband to please move out. I'm sort of adrift now. Hope me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2014 - 28 answers

How do you deal with monogamy?

I find it very hard to cope with extramarital attractions that are cropping up several years into my marriage. What gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 25 answers

Rules of Marriage and a J-2 Visa to the US

My long-term boyfriend is moving to the US for his PhD-degree in September 2015 and plans on getting a J-1 visa. I would like to join him on a J-2, but we are not married yet. Is it possible for him to apply for a visa this winter, then we get married in the spring/early summer, and then I can apply for a J-2 visa at that time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2014 - 6 answers

Resources for Husbands of Rape Survivors

My wife was raped (drugged by a "friend", she doesn't remember the event). I need some help finding (online, books, etc) resources for comfort and perspective for myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Marriage counseling by Skype?

Can anyone recommend a marriage counselor who will work on Skype? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2014 - 1 answer

How to make the best use of two (only two!) mediation sessions

My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 15 answers

I promise that I'm just going out for a walk

For the last few months, I feel like my wife has been monitoring my behaviour, moods, and trying to monitor my thoughts (almost). I feel untrusted and it's bringing me very low. I've tried addressing it with her and talking through my feelings, but it only seems to stop temporarily. Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2014 - 52 answers

Why am I so unhappy with my perfectly OK life?

I am having a hard time figuring out how to fix some of my mundane, yet very real, problems. Is it time for a counselor or psychologist? Any advice out there that could help me sort all this out? More (lots more) details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2014 - 27 answers

How do I enjoy my lavender marriage?

Hi MeFites, I post this anonymously because I don’t want readers to infer anything from my previous posts. I am a gay male in his 40s who married a straight female several years ago. She knew from the onset that I was gay and that I didn't like women, but accepted to marry me because she was in a bad relationship with someone who didn’t want to commit, and desperately wanted to found a family. Although my wife and I never had sex together, we have a son conceived through artificial insemination. She is a wonderful parent and we both love our son. How do I make myself being less bored by the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2014 - 45 answers

Should I try to fix things with angry father-in-law?

My father in law blew up at me in an extreme way a few weeks ago. My husband wishes for his father and I to eventually reconcile, but I would like an apology first. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2014 - 58 answers

My wife is overworked and stressed and it's making me resentful

My wife is overworked, underslept, and stressed, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice that might be helpful. She has a job that requires long hours and causes her a lot of stress that she is committed to until the end of the school year. On top of that, she has a job for a few hours every weekend that she is committed to for a while as well. We also have a two year old daughter and we are climbing out of debt. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2014 - 35 answers

How to talk about life insurance without paranoia?

At a dinner party at our home a few years ago one of our guests brought up issues of life insurance and their concerns about adequate coverage for their family. They asked my husband and I how we manage our policies. My husband announced to the group that he refuses to get life insurance because he feels such a policy would prompt me to actively seek ways to end his life. He was serious. This has caused no small amount of angst on my part, and I need some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2014 - 56 answers

Considering marriage in a loving relationship but for a visa? Yes, no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 9 years. I've been offered a GREAT job in the US - the only way he could work there, it seems, would be to get married. Problem: we both really never thought of getting married - and it's 100% not romantic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2014 - 38 answers

Can this marriage be saved?

I am a 35-year-old female, my husband is 44. We are having issues with mismatched libidos, but it goes deeper than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2014 - 19 answers

What to do about a sexless, but not loveless, marriage?

I have been dreading asking this question because it’s so painful, but I feel like I really need to get this sorted out so I can move on with my life. So here it is: My husband and I haven’t had sex in over a year, probably inching closer to two years by now and I wonder if I’m just fooling myself/prolonging the inevitable in staying married to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 31 answers

Marriage counseling in Durham, NC

My wife and I are in desperate need for marriage counseling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 2 answers

Married but fell for a co-worker

I have fallen hard for someone at work. My 18-year marriage has been good, but now that I'm in this place I'm in, I'm seeing things in a different light and I am beginning to question everything. If you've been through this kind of thing before, what has helped you work through it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2014 - 55 answers

How do I know when the time is right to propose?

Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2014 - 19 answers

How can I both cure my depression and get my sex drive back?

I used to like all kinds of funky sex. Since depression came into my life a few years ago, I've been far, far less sexual. In the last few months, I can't even find the will to masturbate let alone allow my beloved to penetrate me or otherwise enjoy sexual activity with me. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I also want to get back to embodying the sexual being I used to be. How? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2014 - 10 answers

How to survive early marriage counseling?

After several years of problems -- I repressed all my complaints, my spouse just sulked silently and suggested I "get over it" -- we finally started marriage counseling, and the trauma and upheaval of having this all out in the open is unbearable. How do people make it through? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2014 - 19 answers

The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Should I tell hubby about my poor behavior?

About 15 years ago I behaved badly. Should I tell my husband about it? Ordinarily I'd say no, it's in the past. But there are some complicating factors. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2014 - 29 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Help Me Not Use My Partner's ADD As A Crutch.

My partner, who I love dearly, has Adult ADD, which means, among many symptoms, he gets "stuck" at work and has trouble transitioning out of work projects. If he is particularly engaged in work this means he does not come home until 10 p.m. or later. Sometimes he pulls all-nighters at the office. Spouses of ADD partners, how do you create your own routine in the midst of disarray? I don't want to assume he will fail -- i.e. not expect him home until after 11 p.m. -- but frequently that is what he does. It feels cold-hearted to assume I will be spending the evening alone, but if I am to make my own healthy habits, it seems I must make them solo. How do I create healthy habits in the midst of uncertainty? I want to encourage him to come home and spend time with me, but I'm aware that counting on him to be home and participate in shared activities sets me up to fail. Help me, hivemind (and any stories of thriving with an ADD spouse would be much, much appreciated!!). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2014 - 9 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Concerned with husband's recent forays into binge drinking

My moderate-drinker husband has twice in the last month drank to the point of repeatedly vomiting. These binges are out of character and deeply concerning. Should he see his doctor? What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2014 - 42 answers

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner?

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 26 answers

Committing to a monogamous relationship when previously polyamorous

If you were previously polyamorous and committed to a monogamous relationship: how did you do it? How did you deal with those feelings that monogamy just didn't felt quite right? Were you able to replace the need outside relationships fulfilled with something else? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2014 - 10 answers

Expat married to a local, really struggling, seeking help

Finally giving in and looking for a therapist, while permanently living abroad... what 'cultural combination' should one look for? Don't want my current mental state to cloud my thinking. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2014 - 9 answers

Help me feel excited about getting married!

My wonderful fiancé and I getting married this August. While I'm happy at the thought of "officially" starting a life together, we've been together more than eight years, and it doesn't feel like a huge deal any more. I'm also stressed about my career, which is occupying my mind most of the time. The actual wedding is being organized entirely by my parents, and neither of us are thrilled about what the ceremony's shaping up to be. What can I/we do to make the whole getting hitched thing more meaningful for us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 22 answers

How do I ask out my wife?

My wife and I used to go out fairly frequently - not partying but dinner, museum, movie, etc. Almost two years ago we had a child, whom we both adore. However, we have not been out since. We have had offers to watch the child so we could go out and she would not take any up on it. What can I say for my wife to accept a date with me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2014 - 51 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

How do people find money to move out when separating or divorcing?

A asks B for a divorce. B is not surprised. B agrees, even though B would prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than be branded with a scarlet D*. A wants to move out ASAP. Generally speaking, how do the financial logistics of this work? No special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 17 answers

marriage on the rocks. need advice.

Never has been a blissful marriage but is it time to throw in the towel and move on? Twenty four years in the chute, one kid in college out of the house, the other living at home in high school. Especially caustic relationship since summer. No sex in months. She works all the time, I'm out of work. Growing further and further apart. But I will want to make it work yet she doesn't seem interested in putting in the effort. Emptiness in the pit of my stomach but I will do what I have to do. Interested in anyone's experiences in situations such as this. Is it worth fighting to keep things together? What about the kids? Is it better on the other side of relationships like this? I'm at a crossroads and need to figure this out. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 5, 2014 - 34 answers

Took the vows. Both still here. Why do I feel so alone?

Please help me think through a marriage that's hollowing out from the inside. Survival strategies needed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2014 - 47 answers

There's a tiny dent in our basement door. Can this marriage be saved?

Is it necessary in a marriage to apologize for innocent mistakes like dropping a laptop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2014 - 69 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

Considering divorce... or depression

Married almost 3 years, together for over 4 years. My husband is a funny, arrogant genius, and when I first met him he was very kind to me. Right after we got married, things changed... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2013 - 52 answers

Same-sex marriage: what does it legally mean?

Dear Metafilter: My girlfriend and I (also a lady) want to get married. Yay! Now what exactly does that mean for us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 23, 2013 - 11 answers

How do I deal with my spouse having an external romantic relationship?

I found out my partner of 20 years/spouse of 11 was having an emotional/romantic affair with our best friend and lied to me about it. Now that we've gone through the initial reveal, I've told her I've forgiven her; she's hinting she's been thinking about romantic relationships outside of our marriage. tl;dr- Are we done here or can this be saved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 49 answers

Should I ask the man I'm seeing not to have a vasectomy?

I'm in my mid-20's, leaning towards not having kids, but recognize that I could change my mind. I just started dating a wonderful man who has scheduled a vasectomy for next month. Is it asking too much to ask him to reconsider? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2013 - 44 answers

Do I go to my stepson's wedding if I don't support it?

Do I go to my barely 18 year old stepson's wedding if I don't support the reasons and believe it to be a huge mistake? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2013 - 81 answers

Struggling to forgive my SO's emotional cheating

How can I forgive my SO (and myself) for emotionally cheating on each other? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I stop being so paranoid in my relationship?

Damaged by a previous infidelity, I find it hard not to read every ordinary, innocent thing as a Sign. It's hurting an otherwise loving relationship with a wonderful woman, and I hate being this way and feel I am committing my own kind of betrayal. Looking for advice on strategies to stop, deflect, lessen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 32 answers

We are "on a break". How long should it last?

My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2013 - 40 answers

Just got engaged. Problem, I still think about the one that got away.

I just got engaged to an amazing guy. He's funny, smart, interesting, stable, settled in his career, and is going places...basically, a "10" by any and every objective measure. The problem is that ever since we've gotten engaged, I keep thinking of the first and only guy I've ever felt was "the one" I was destined to be with, and the problem has only exacerbated since my fiancé wants to drop his life for a year in California to be closer to me as I finish up college. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2013 - 102 answers

Getting married in US - we don't want a green card!

I’m a US citizen engaged to non-US citizen. After the marriage, we’re planning to live in his home country, not the US. In other words, he will not be applying for a green card. However, we would like to get married in the US. Our thought was for him to enter the US on a tourist visa, get married, then he’ll return to his home country and I’ll begin the process for applying for the equivalent of a green card in his country. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2013 - 16 answers

What's a good town for a single man in his late 30s...

What's a non-US city that might be especially good for a 38-year old divorced straight male looking to meet a woman and settle down? Much more specific details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 37 answers

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