572 posts tagged with marriage by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 572.

I think I want a baby – but not with my husband.

I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2016 - 26 answers

Getting some on the side, with permission.

My spouse has given me permission to have sex outside of our marriage, has expressed a desire for me to do so. This is not something that I have necessarily wanted to do, but I believe it is something I should consider for reasons I will explain inside. Have you or someone that you know done this? If so, what are the pitfalls? What are some good ground rules? What worked and what didn't? What should I consider before taking this step? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2016 - 19 answers

Marriage, Law Enforcement, and Social Media

My spouse works in law enforcement at the federal level. Recently, she has become increasingly paranoid about just about everything. She has told me to edit or remove some Facebook posts. She has asked me to delete an Instagram account I use for a local sports league I am involved in as well as my personal Twitter both of which are not public. She prohibits me from posting photos of our child. She demands I not post political things that might "make her look bad". I am not involved with or know with anyone she works with. Should I be upset or is this normal in the LEO world? It feels a little over-controlled and she will not discuss options or compromises. Any help would be appreciated.
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2016 - 39 answers

More stories like Phil's (Season 2 of Grace and Frankie)?

I'm fascinated by Phil's backstory (spoilers below the fold) on season 2 of the Netflix tv show Grace & Frankie. Are there any novels, short stories, movies, or TV episodes with a similar theme? I'm an atheist, so "religious-inspirational" might not be my cup of tea, but I'll try it anyway. I really do want to read these stories. I'm not much interested in Phil's current story (spoilers below the fold) -- just his backstory. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2016 - 8 answers

Marital Finances - Am I As Big an Idiot as I Think?

I am more and more stressed over our household finances and I'm feeling horribly resentful and ungrateful. I would like some impartial advice/opinions. I have a therapist's session scheduled for next week but this is eating at me and I feel like I'm spending too much energy letting it roll around in my head. I make $135K per year, he *should* (key word) be making at least $300K a year, both gross figures. I pay 90% of the household bills. I have a hard time communicating with my husband. He often bends the truth or has a different version of the truth when pressed on an uncomfortable point. I like to think I am more fact-based, and when I press him, he often resorts to stonewalling or making statements that don't make logical sense. He does not have any expensive habits, he doesn't travel, drives a paid for car, and is generally a nice, well-liked guy. Where is all the money that seems to be normally expected in a practice like this? How do I explain to him that paying the majority of the bills is not working for me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 37 answers

How do I adjust to a non-sexual, companionate marriage?

My husband of 15 years and I haven't had sex in seven months. We are mismatched sexually and are otherwise happy. How do I let go of the idea that sex with him is necessary? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2016 - 24 answers

Should we get a prenup?

We're getting married! Hooray! But given our life circumstances, does it make sense for us to sign a prenup? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2016 - 17 answers

Low Libido... Nooooooooo

I’m a 35-yr-old cis woman married to a wonderful man. I’m attracted to him in every way, and we’ve been together for 10 years. This is the first time I’ve needed to reach out for this problem… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2016 - 18 answers

I love my husband…but I don’t want to sleep with him. Does it matter?

Until I slept with someone else, I didn't realise what I was missing. But I can't break up our lives on a whim. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 38 answers

How do you know when your marriage over?

Wife and I have been having been in couples counseling for past 5 months for issues that started 2-3 years prior. How do you know when you should stop putting effort into saving the marriage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2016 - 42 answers

How to prepare myself for potential future cheating?

My spouse confessed to me that she had an emotional affair. It hurts really bad and I want to figure out how to learn and prepare in case it happens again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2016 - 24 answers

How do I respond to help that's not helpful?

My husband is a good guy. He consistently provides me with solutions to problems that a) aren't actually the problems, b) cause more work and stress for me, and c) perpetuate purchases instead of pitching in. I need help. But not like this. Advice on/scripts for discussion, please? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2016 - 43 answers

How to get past my husband's lack of attraction

My husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 10. We started dating at almost 20. We generally have a good marriage, good communication, and love each other. However, several times over the past few years, my husband has told me that he is not attracted to my body. He still thinks my face is pretty and we still have sex about once a week, 2x a month if we're busy, and it's good. I'm having trouble getting past the fact that he feels this way, though. I'm angry and resentful. How do I move past this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2016 - 24 answers

Uncertainty about kids a good reason to stay unmarried?

We have a great relationship. For lots of reasons, it would make sense for us to get married in the near future. But she wants kids, and I'm not sure I do, or ever will. Would getting married be a bad idea, particularly if the likely alternative is to break up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2016 - 44 answers

How to find a husband in the San Francisco Bay Area

I'm a woman in San Francisco. Where should I go and what should I do do to find a man who wants marriage and a child in the near future, say 1 - 3 years? Specific examples of worked for you and for the people you know as well as concrete advice would be great. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2016 - 30 answers

How to rent a house when one of us has bad credit

My husband and I have been living in a 1 bed apartment for 2 years, and for the sake of our marriage, we need to move somewhere bigger. We're looking to rent for the next year or two at least. I have a good credit record but my husband doesn't (his credit score is around 600, he has around $5000 in medical debt in collections dating back to a period 4-5 years ago when he was uninsured). What are our options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2016 - 21 answers

How do I get through a life stage crisis?

The short version of the story is that I am married but kissed a colleague at a work Christmas party after several drinks and a lot of flirty dancing. The long version of the story is that this seems to be the culmination of a couple of years of emotional uncertainty and I think I might be having some kind of mid-life / life stage crisis and I'm struggling to figure out how I can get through it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2015 - 24 answers

Living with a partner who has depression.

We're in this cycle, where the worse he feels, the worse he acts toward me, the worse I feel, the more I need kindness, the less he is able to provide it, the angrier I get, the worse he feels, repeat ad nauseum. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2015 - 19 answers

How to control erratic pet peeves so as to not destroy my relationship?

I make inconsistent demands of my wife regarding details about cleaning and whatnot. It drives her nuts but she mostly puts up with it until she is tired of dealing with it, and we argue. It breaks my heart that I'm putting her through this but I also feel angry that she doesn't try to negotiate with me somehow. Not sure if what I'm asking for is fair or not but I'd like to resolve this so we can both feel satisfied and happy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2015 - 55 answers

How do I stop being infatuated?

I'm a 40-ish married man. How do I stop being infatuated with a younger woman that I know very well? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2015 - 43 answers

Is this cold feet or something else entirely?

My fiancee is wonderful, everyone is excited for us, and I think I'm miserable. Please help me figure out what is going on with me, and/or tell me I need to get professional help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2015 - 53 answers

Boundary-ignorant husband: part of a bigger problem?

My husband keeps pulling up my clothes and rubbing my belly (not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, dear god I can only imagine if I was). It's meant to be affectionate but I HATE it. I've told him to stop, but he keeps doing it. I think my problem has less to do with the touching (although I really, really, really don't like it and resent having to apologize or explain it) and more to do with the fact that I explicitly asked him to stop but he has not. This makes me irrationally angry. Am I overreacting by moving out of our bedroom into our spare room? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2015 - 54 answers

Desperately want a family...but not with husband

Going on three years of marriage after a tumultuous two years of dating and an even more tumultuous engagement. I got married because at the time I was 33 and I thought my time was running out. I wanted to get married and start a family right away. Then I realized I don't love or even like my husband very much at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2015 - 81 answers

The fire is out, but is it possible to spark a new flame?

I don't feel sexually attracted to my spouse anymore. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 10, 2015 - 27 answers

US permanent residency through marriage, difficulty: young relationship

I'm in the US on an F-1 visa, finished my Ph.D. and am currently on the post-degree OPT period which expires next May. My girlfriend and I have decided to get married so that I can stay in the country. We're in a bona fide relationship but have only been dating a couple of months, don't live together, and don't have the kinds of documents that most married couples can show to prove their marriage (e.g. joint lease / bank accounts). We’re getting a lawyer, but are also hoping to get some advice here from people who have been through the green card process. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2015 - 35 answers

Should we get married anyway and figure it out later?

My partner leaves home from May-October every year for work. I can't join him due to the nature of my own work. This might change in the future, but we want to get married and I'm increasingly unsure I (or our marriage) can cope with this kind of situation long-term. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 30 answers

Being happy being child free?

I want to have kids, my wife doesn't. The discussion is over so I'm now facing the reality that one of my life goals will never happen. This is really difficult to come to terms with. How do I let it go, not resent my wife and live a fulfilling life possibly with a missing piece? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2015 - 51 answers

How much conversation and together time should I expect?

How much conversation time or "together time" should I expect in my marriage? Do I have unrealistic expectations of what a healthy marriage is? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2015 - 21 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

How can I rebuild my self-esteem in the wake of his porn addiction?

My husband appears to prefer porn as his primary sexual partner. I'm not against porn, but I thought part of the agreement couples had was that porn was an appetizer and sex is the main course. It's killing me. I know I need to leave, but I live out of state from my family and friends and don't have anyone where I live with whom I can ask to stay. How do I remember his intimacy problems/porn addiction are about him (per my therapist) and not internalize all this more than I already have until I can cut the cord? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 31 answers

Limerance Frequency and Duration

Folks in LTR - how often do you look up/think about/fantasize about new and exciting entrants into your life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2015 - 12 answers

Do I tell my friend that her husband left her to date a former student?

Should I tell her what my ex-friend is up to? If so, how should I tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 31 answers

What hope is there for a marriage where there are political problems

What is the best hope (or is there any) for a marriage where extreme political disagreements have cropped up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 21 answers

How to handle an affair?

Looking for suggestions on how to deal with the emotional aspects of an extramarital relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 13 answers

How did you organize your decision making around divorce?

I'm debating getting divorced. I'm interested in the decision-making process. If you've debated getting a divorce - whether you ultimately decided to or not - what did your process look like? What did you do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 24 answers

What does it look like for financial values to fundamentally change?

My SO & I are in our 30’s, have been dating over a year and have been talking about marriage. We are having a crisis over our differing financial values. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 21 answers

Last minute marriage, need to not pay for health insurance twice

We got married on the spur of the moment and are now facing the prospect of paying for health insurance twice for the first couple of months of being married. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2015 - 4 answers

what to do when husband refuses to go to counseling?

I'm at my wits end with my husband and not sure how much longer I can take it, but he refuses to go to counseling. Is there any way I can save our relationship without counseling? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2015 - 76 answers

People who have been proposed to: Did you want downtime after?

After 4 years of happy dating, I'm taking the plunge and asking the lady friend to marry me. We've discussed it in the past, so it's not out of left field, but she doesn't know that I've got a ring in hand. Now, her birthday is in a few weeks and my plan was this: Scavenger Hunt fun that ends with a proposal and then after we've had our little bliss, the last surprise: Our friends and family gathered for a surprise birthday party/omg -lemme-see-the-ring party. I told a friend about the plan and she looked at me like I was crazy. She insisted that after her engagement she just wanted private time to chill and bask and that I was going to be putting my beloved in a weird place. So- If you've been proposed to, does that plan seem out of line? Did you want chill, private time after? Obviously, everyone is different, but I wanted to hear it from the Hivemind. Thoughts/concerns?
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 70 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Husband's 'teen' porn

How common or uncommon is it for men who look at porn to look at 'teen' porn? I stumbled upon the tabs for my husband’s porn viewing session. All of the videos included "teen" as a keyword in the title. The people did not appear prepubescent. I am having a negative reaction to this. My questions, in order, for the site are: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2015 - 48 answers

How to support myself while supporting my transitioning spouse?

Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 10 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

Therapist in Durham, NC

Can you recommend a female marriage counselor in Durham, NC? Or, failing that, any good female therapist who can help me make sense of my marriage?
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2015 - 4 answers

Weddingfilter: Non–Legal ceremony home in UK, Legal ceremony Pacific NW

My fiancee and I have spent much of our adult lives travelling and have a fondness for our time spent in the United States. As such we would love to be married there. We are planning to hold a humanist ceremony / blessing / non–legal ceremony in the UK and rather than the usual Registry Office ceremony to take care of the legal things, we were hoping to Honeymoon in the Pacific Northwest and get legally married while there. I am trying to work out a few things … [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2015 - 3 answers

Help me be a good wife to my unemployed husband

What did your spouse do when you were unemployed that was really helpful? What did you do that made a difference to your partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 8, 2015 - 21 answers

Disagreements about money negatively impacting our marriage, what to do

We are having some issues related to money and it is negatively impacting our marriage. I am thinking about therapy but our issues seem so minor compared to many others. Should we seek counseling? LONG snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2015 - 46 answers

My husband says she's his best friend. Really?

Please tell me if you have had an intense friendship with someone of the sex you're attracted to and it genuinely was platonic. My husband is very close to another woman and swears they're just friends. I'm worried. He adores her, he spends every spare minute with her and when they're not together, I know he's thinking of her. He isn't like this with any other friend and never has been (we've been married 15 years). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2015 - 101 answers

Husband pushed me down. Now what?

On Christmas morning, my husband and I got into a verbal fight about a movie. He then charged at me and pushed me down. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2015 - 79 answers

Self-help books for couples re: Emotional Connection/Intimacy?

Looking for books that specifically focus on forging emotional connections, or on helping one or both members of the marriage open up emotionally and communicate about feelings. Books that couples can read together/have proactive exercises we can do together would be preferable. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2014 - 10 answers

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