535 posts tagged with marriage by Anonymous.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 535.

Last minute marriage, need to not pay for health insurance twice

We got married on the spur of the moment and are now facing the prospect of paying for health insurance twice for the first couple of months of being married. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2015 - 3 answers

what to do when husband refuses to go to counseling?

I'm at my wits end with my husband and not sure how much longer I can take it, but he refuses to go to counseling. Is there any way I can save our relationship without counseling? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2015 - 75 answers

People who have been proposed to: Did you want downtime after?

After 4 years of happy dating, I'm taking the plunge and asking the lady friend to marry me. We've discussed it in the past, so it's not out of left field, but she doesn't know that I've got a ring in hand. Now, her birthday is in a few weeks and my plan was this: Scavenger Hunt fun that ends with a proposal and then after we've had our little bliss, the last surprise: Our friends and family gathered for a surprise birthday party/omg -lemme-see-the-ring party. I told a friend about the plan and she looked at me like I was crazy. She insisted that after her engagement she just wanted private time to chill and bask and that I was going to be putting my beloved in a weird place. So- If you've been proposed to, does that plan seem out of line? Did you want chill, private time after? Obviously, everyone is different, but I wanted to hear it from the Hivemind. Thoughts/concerns?
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 70 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Husband's 'teen' porn

How common or uncommon is it for men who look at porn to look at 'teen' porn? I stumbled upon the tabs for my husband’s porn viewing session. All of the videos included "teen" as a keyword in the title. The people did not appear prepubescent. I am having a negative reaction to this. My questions, in order, for the site are: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2015 - 48 answers

How to support myself while supporting my transitioning spouse?

Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 10 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

Therapist in Durham, NC

Can you recommend a female marriage counselor in Durham, NC? Or, failing that, any good female therapist who can help me make sense of my marriage?
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2015 - 4 answers

Weddingfilter: Non–Legal ceremony home in UK, Legal ceremony Pacific NW

My fiancee and I have spent much of our adult lives travelling and have a fondness for our time spent in the United States. As such we would love to be married there. We are planning to hold a humanist ceremony / blessing / non–legal ceremony in the UK and rather than the usual Registry Office ceremony to take care of the legal things, we were hoping to Honeymoon in the Pacific Northwest and get legally married while there. I am trying to work out a few things … [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2015 - 3 answers

Help me be a good wife to my unemployed husband

What did your spouse do when you were unemployed that was really helpful? What did you do that made a difference to your partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 8, 2015 - 21 answers

Disagreements about money negatively impacting our marriage, what to do

We are having some issues related to money and it is negatively impacting our marriage. I am thinking about therapy but our issues seem so minor compared to many others. Should we seek counseling? LONG snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2015 - 46 answers

My husband says she's his best friend. Really?

Please tell me if you have had an intense friendship with someone of the sex you're attracted to and it genuinely was platonic. My husband is very close to another woman and swears they're just friends. I'm worried. He adores her, he spends every spare minute with her and when they're not together, I know he's thinking of her. He isn't like this with any other friend and never has been (we've been married 15 years). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2015 - 101 answers

Husband pushed me down. Now what?

On Christmas morning, my husband and I got into a verbal fight about a movie. He then charged at me and pushed me down. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2015 - 79 answers

Self-help books for couples re: Emotional Connection/Intimacy?

Looking for books that specifically focus on forging emotional connections, or on helping one or both members of the marriage open up emotionally and communicate about feelings. Books that couples can read together/have proactive exercises we can do together would be preferable. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2014 - 10 answers

Close friends of the opposite sex - both happily married?

If you are/were in a happy monogamous relationship and developed a close, 100% platonic totally public friendship with someone of the opposite sex also in a happily monogamous relationship, how did you manage this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2014 - 28 answers

Insecure Attachment in Relationships - resources please.

My marriage can be very good, but it can also be very challenging, and has been particularly so in the past few months. Based on our interactions, I've been reading up on attachment and suspect that we both struggle with different types of insecure attachment. I'm looking for resources (online or print) that can help me better understand how our different issues are playing out in our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 3 answers

Coping with uncertainty after asking alcoholic husband to move out

Last night after the final trampling of my boundaries, I asked my husband to please move out. I'm sort of adrift now. Hope me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2014 - 28 answers

How do you deal with monogamy?

I find it very hard to cope with extramarital attractions that are cropping up several years into my marriage. What gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 25 answers

Rules of Marriage and a J-2 Visa to the US

My long-term boyfriend is moving to the US for his PhD-degree in September 2015 and plans on getting a J-1 visa. I would like to join him on a J-2, but we are not married yet. Is it possible for him to apply for a visa this winter, then we get married in the spring/early summer, and then I can apply for a J-2 visa at that time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2014 - 6 answers

Resources for Husbands of Rape Survivors

My wife was raped (drugged by a "friend", she doesn't remember the event). I need some help finding (online, books, etc) resources for comfort and perspective for myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Marriage counseling by Skype?

Can anyone recommend a marriage counselor who will work on Skype? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2014 - 1 answer

How to make the best use of two (only two!) mediation sessions

My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 15 answers

I promise that I'm just going out for a walk

For the last few months, I feel like my wife has been monitoring my behaviour, moods, and trying to monitor my thoughts (almost). I feel untrusted and it's bringing me very low. I've tried addressing it with her and talking through my feelings, but it only seems to stop temporarily. Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2014 - 52 answers

Why am I so unhappy with my perfectly OK life?

I am having a hard time figuring out how to fix some of my mundane, yet very real, problems. Is it time for a counselor or psychologist? Any advice out there that could help me sort all this out? More (lots more) details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2014 - 27 answers

How do I enjoy my lavender marriage?

Hi MeFites, I post this anonymously because I don’t want readers to infer anything from my previous posts. I am a gay male in his 40s who married a straight female several years ago. She knew from the onset that I was gay and that I didn't like women, but accepted to marry me because she was in a bad relationship with someone who didn’t want to commit, and desperately wanted to found a family. Although my wife and I never had sex together, we have a son conceived through artificial insemination. She is a wonderful parent and we both love our son. How do I make myself being less bored by the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2014 - 45 answers

Should I try to fix things with angry father-in-law?

My father in law blew up at me in an extreme way a few weeks ago. My husband wishes for his father and I to eventually reconcile, but I would like an apology first. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2014 - 58 answers

My wife is overworked and stressed and it's making me resentful

My wife is overworked, underslept, and stressed, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice that might be helpful. She has a job that requires long hours and causes her a lot of stress that she is committed to until the end of the school year. On top of that, she has a job for a few hours every weekend that she is committed to for a while as well. We also have a two year old daughter and we are climbing out of debt. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2014 - 35 answers

How to talk about life insurance without paranoia?

At a dinner party at our home a few years ago one of our guests brought up issues of life insurance and their concerns about adequate coverage for their family. They asked my husband and I how we manage our policies. My husband announced to the group that he refuses to get life insurance because he feels such a policy would prompt me to actively seek ways to end his life. He was serious. This has caused no small amount of angst on my part, and I need some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2014 - 56 answers

Considering marriage in a loving relationship but for a visa? Yes, no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 9 years. I've been offered a GREAT job in the US - the only way he could work there, it seems, would be to get married. Problem: we both really never thought of getting married - and it's 100% not romantic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2014 - 38 answers

Can this marriage be saved?

I am a 35-year-old female, my husband is 44. We are having issues with mismatched libidos, but it goes deeper than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2014 - 19 answers

What to do about a sexless, but not loveless, marriage?

I have been dreading asking this question because it’s so painful, but I feel like I really need to get this sorted out so I can move on with my life. So here it is: My husband and I haven’t had sex in over a year, probably inching closer to two years by now and I wonder if I’m just fooling myself/prolonging the inevitable in staying married to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 31 answers

Marriage counseling in Durham, NC

My wife and I are in desperate need for marriage counseling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 2 answers

Married but fell for a co-worker

I have fallen hard for someone at work. My 18-year marriage has been good, but now that I'm in this place I'm in, I'm seeing things in a different light and I am beginning to question everything. If you've been through this kind of thing before, what has helped you work through it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2014 - 55 answers

How do I know when the time is right to propose?

Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2014 - 19 answers

How can I both cure my depression and get my sex drive back?

I used to like all kinds of funky sex. Since depression came into my life a few years ago, I've been far, far less sexual. In the last few months, I can't even find the will to masturbate let alone allow my beloved to penetrate me or otherwise enjoy sexual activity with me. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I also want to get back to embodying the sexual being I used to be. How? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2014 - 10 answers

How to survive early marriage counseling?

After several years of problems -- I repressed all my complaints, my spouse just sulked silently and suggested I "get over it" -- we finally started marriage counseling, and the trauma and upheaval of having this all out in the open is unbearable. How do people make it through? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2014 - 19 answers

The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Should I tell hubby about my poor behavior?

About 15 years ago I behaved badly. Should I tell my husband about it? Ordinarily I'd say no, it's in the past. But there are some complicating factors. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2014 - 29 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Help Me Not Use My Partner's ADD As A Crutch.

My partner, who I love dearly, has Adult ADD, which means, among many symptoms, he gets "stuck" at work and has trouble transitioning out of work projects. If he is particularly engaged in work this means he does not come home until 10 p.m. or later. Sometimes he pulls all-nighters at the office. Spouses of ADD partners, how do you create your own routine in the midst of disarray? I don't want to assume he will fail -- i.e. not expect him home until after 11 p.m. -- but frequently that is what he does. It feels cold-hearted to assume I will be spending the evening alone, but if I am to make my own healthy habits, it seems I must make them solo. How do I create healthy habits in the midst of uncertainty? I want to encourage him to come home and spend time with me, but I'm aware that counting on him to be home and participate in shared activities sets me up to fail. Help me, hivemind (and any stories of thriving with an ADD spouse would be much, much appreciated!!). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2014 - 9 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Concerned with husband's recent forays into binge drinking

My moderate-drinker husband has twice in the last month drank to the point of repeatedly vomiting. These binges are out of character and deeply concerning. Should he see his doctor? What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2014 - 42 answers

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner?

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 26 answers

Committing to a monogamous relationship when previously polyamorous

If you were previously polyamorous and committed to a monogamous relationship: how did you do it? How did you deal with those feelings that monogamy just didn't felt quite right? Were you able to replace the need outside relationships fulfilled with something else? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2014 - 10 answers

Expat married to a local, really struggling, seeking help

Finally giving in and looking for a therapist, while permanently living abroad... what 'cultural combination' should one look for? Don't want my current mental state to cloud my thinking. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2014 - 9 answers

Help me feel excited about getting married!

My wonderful fiancé and I getting married this August. While I'm happy at the thought of "officially" starting a life together, we've been together more than eight years, and it doesn't feel like a huge deal any more. I'm also stressed about my career, which is occupying my mind most of the time. The actual wedding is being organized entirely by my parents, and neither of us are thrilled about what the ceremony's shaping up to be. What can I/we do to make the whole getting hitched thing more meaningful for us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 22 answers

How do I ask out my wife?

My wife and I used to go out fairly frequently - not partying but dinner, museum, movie, etc. Almost two years ago we had a child, whom we both adore. However, we have not been out since. We have had offers to watch the child so we could go out and she would not take any up on it. What can I say for my wife to accept a date with me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2014 - 51 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

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