My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for the last 3. We met when I was 19, and him 21. Recently I have been feeling like I might want out. I still love him, but I am not sure that he is going to change in ways which I would prefer him to.
Should I tell him I want to separate or wait to see if things get better?
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posted by anonymous
on May 19, 2013 -
35 answers
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate.
I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 27, 2013 -
21 answers
Newly married, and trying to figure out emergency savings vs. retirement vs. paying off debt vs. saving for a family. Please help me prioritize.
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 7, 2012 -
22 answers
My history with money, coupled with recent life challenges, is affecting my marriage. I am stressed and angry; my partner is (probably) depressed and overwhelmed. How can we grow together, not apart?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 29, 2012 -
13 answers
My husband has the opportunity to buy a [lower-end luxury brand sports car] from an ill family friend for a great deal. I am totally against it.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 6, 2012 -
146 answers
Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!]
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posted by TriparteGoddess
on Apr 29, 2012 -
62 answers
I think I need a break in my marriage. I've been a lot of emotional pain, and his behavior is making it worse and worse. However, we'd so damn poor that we couldn't even afford to physically separate. What's the likelihood of a separation
within a marital residence actually working out? Have you tried it? What happened?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 9, 2011 -
22 answers
I like Mint.com and I want to use it. My wife, she disagrees. This has caused some consternation. Maybe you can help.
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posted by kbanas
on Nov 10, 2010 -
45 answers
Mid-twenties couple living in a big city trying to save up for the future. How the heck to people do it? Help us figure out what we're doing wrong and how to fix it.
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posted by your mom's a sock puppet
on Oct 14, 2010 -
71 answers
The thought of planning a wedding makes me (female, mid-twenties) want to break out into hives. Problem: my (male, mid-twenties) partner LOVES weddings and desperately wants one. HELP!
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 13, 2010 -
40 answers
When you "win" an argument with your spouse, it's not really winning, or is it?
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posted by abdulf
on Sep 17, 2010 -
47 answers
Our household income has been cut in half in the last six months and although we theoretically have enough money to get buy, we keep running out. We're really bad at this. Help? (details inside)
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posted by threeturtles
on Aug 21, 2010 -
36 answers
I’m engaged. Wedding date is set, I have my dress and all our vendors are booked. But, thinking about life with my fiancé is scaring me. Is this normal pre-wedding jitters, my own anxiety, or a sign that we aren’t right for each other?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 16, 2010 -
60 answers
Marital Finances filter: I'm curious about how couples decide if they are going to be an "our money" couple or a "your money/my money" couple.
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posted by ThatCanadianGirl
on Apr 13, 2010 -
69 answers
D...d...dowryfilter? Maybe? I'm getting married to a Chinese woman, very soon, and her rather wealthy parents are asking (hinting, in this face-sensitive culture, so I think that's what it is, but it could mean something else?) where my divorced, broke parents' contribution to the marriage is, or, in lieu of theirs, mine. They've tossed a $140,000 duplex our way, a prime rental property, and a ton of financial support for their daughter. I have about $400 in the bank and an okay freelance career. Barring 10 years to save up and match that...what, exactly, can I do to prevent this from getting really, really, really awkward? A long, rambling explanation follows.
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posted by saysthis
on Sep 29, 2008 -
19 answers
My husband of five months and I have different attitudes towards money. He’s more money conscious that I am, at least, that’s what he calls it. I think of his “money-consciousness” as a cross between minor cheapness and money obsession. I am right now at a crossroads in the relationship and I don’t know how to solve it or whether I should even continue it.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 8, 2008 -
56 answers
I want to start being more financially responsible. My husband doesn't want to hear it. Can I do this without hurting our marriage? How?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 4, 2008 -
35 answers
Money is difficult. I'm familiar with
Your Money or Your Life, "pay yourself first", Quicken,
The Tightwad Gazette, etc. but my money problems seem to be intertwined with a lot of relationship stuff that is hard to unravel.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 8, 2006 -
45 answers
Tips for an engaged couple merging their finances?
What are some strategies that have been successful in merging your finances? What has not? We're looking to save for common goals and equally contribute towards our household and food expenses, but also have some autonomy with our money so we can buy our own things or treats every so often without feeling accountable to one another.
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posted by FearTormento
on Feb 27, 2006 -
31 answers
Mr. Straight Arrow pays all his bills on time, works like a slave, and has a joint account with his spouse, but wants some fun money to splurge with his kid at a ball game, buy a scooter or go nuts at Sports Authority without his wife giving him grief over spending too much. Is this a separate stash in joint bank account, or something else?
posted by terrier319
on Apr 14, 2005 -
20 answers
My wife and I argue all the time about financial matters, but the problem certainly isn't one that I have heard from anyone else. The thing is, we have plenty of money -- more than enough to be comfortable. Hopefully someone here has an idea to help me (us). [MI]
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posted by bagels
on Jan 28, 2005 -
51 answers
