33 posts tagged with marriage and infidelity.
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Struggling with Alcoholism and Infidelity

My marriage is falling apart and I am getting very mixed messages from my wife. As she has finally started the road to recovery she also met someone else in AA and they are having quite the affair. I am struggling with the hurt and anger but also with still loving her and wanting her back. Please help me with some new perspectives. [more inside]
posted by redyaky on Aug 28, 2016 - 32 answers

can it be over now

How did it take you to fully recover from a significant betrayal by someone(s) you trusted? [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jul 13, 2016 - 61 answers

Getting some on the side, with permission.

My spouse has given me permission to have sex outside of our marriage, has expressed a desire for me to do so. This is not something that I have necessarily wanted to do, but I believe it is something I should consider for reasons I will explain inside. Have you or someone that you know done this? If so, what are the pitfalls? What are some good ground rules? What worked and what didn't? What should I consider before taking this step? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2016 - 19 answers

Moving Forward After Marital Infedelity

I just found out that my husband of 6 years has had multiple affairs. I am devastated and I have no idea where to even start. [more inside]
posted by sockaroniandcheese on Jun 6, 2016 - 38 answers

I love my husband…but I don’t want to sleep with him. Does it matter?

Until I slept with someone else, I didn't realise what I was missing. But I can't break up our lives on a whim. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 38 answers

A two-part question about cheating

For those who have been cheated on: how did you deal with the heartbreak? For those who have cheated: how did you deal with the guilt? Would like to hear from those who were in very long-term relationships (10+ years) and whose relationships did not survive. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 24, 2015 - 26 answers

How to deal with husband's pseudocheating and inadequate remorse?

My husband engaged in particularly hurtful nonphysical cheating, and I had to catch him at it to find out. Now when we talk about it he seems remorseful, but that remorse doesn't translate to the rest of our life. How can I handle it and what should I do? [more inside]
posted by sockeroonie on Oct 22, 2015 - 53 answers

How to navigate a potential divorce?

Hi. This is me. I have been thinking for a couple weeks and am leaning towards divorce. I have multiple questions about this. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 24, 2015 - 41 answers

How to handle an affair?

Looking for suggestions on how to deal with the emotional aspects of an extramarital relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 13 answers

How do you deal with monogamy?

I find it very hard to cope with extramarital attractions that are cropping up several years into my marriage. What gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 25 answers

How do I stop being so paranoid in my relationship?

Damaged by a previous infidelity, I find it hard not to read every ordinary, innocent thing as a Sign. It's hurting an otherwise loving relationship with a wonderful woman, and I hate being this way and feel I am committing my own kind of betrayal. Looking for advice on strategies to stop, deflect, lessen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 32 answers

Need advice: Is it time for a divorce, or do I ride this out?

Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 27 answers

Is it still your business even though I left?

I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this? (I've tried to anonymise this as best I can) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2013 - 45 answers

My husband is cheating on me. Now what?

I just found out. Should I confront him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 49 answers

Stuck on the cusp; how to step over?

You decided to leave your marriage, which has had good times but also so many bad ones. You finally came to the point where you realised you had to get out; how did you go from realising it to actually doing it, despite the inertia of being with someone whom you still loved (just not enough to overcome all the negatives in the marriage any more)? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 5, 2012 - 33 answers

Ideas for 10th wedding anniversary in midst of marital stress?

How should my husband and I celebrate our 10th anniversary given some recent marriage difficulties? I am looking for ideas that honor our years together but aren't traditional romantic gestures, which might feel a bit hollow or forced right now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2012 - 18 answers

Can this marriage be saved?

Can this marriage be saved? Infidelity, drug and alcohol abuse, low libido, and ADD... but are those reason enough to leave? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2011 - 38 answers

Friend is a four-letter word

{Relationship Filter} So my husband of less than a year looked up an old friend last month. Said friend happens to be married, female and goregous. They hadn't spoken in more than 10 years. They've been e-mailing, and my husband says he has no ulterior motives. I'm not so sure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2011 - 41 answers

Engaged with wandering eyes

Engaged but infatuated with someone else. Does this actually mean anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2010 - 24 answers

Fantasizing about other men - help!

How can I stop being hypersexual, get my therapist to see that it's threatening my marriage, and start focusing on my husband again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2010 - 35 answers

talk me down

Scenes from a marriage. I snooped; his behavior was borderline. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2010 - 36 answers

Why am I in love with my husband's best friend?

I have an excellent relationship with my husband. So why am I in love with his best friend? And what, if anything, should I do about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2009 - 30 answers

Why do I attract married men?

Attracting married men is my superpower. What gives? [more inside]
posted by giggleknickers on Sep 27, 2009 - 61 answers

When do I confront the cheater?

My husband is cheating on me. I am paralyzed with fear. I need advice for our unique and complicated situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2009 - 49 answers

Making an Indecent Proposal Halfway Decent

Best practices for proposing/having an affair? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2009 - 66 answers

What did he do that made you cheat?

If you've felt the temptation to cheat, or have cheated, on a guy: what sorts of things was he neglecting to do around that time? Or what things was he doing? [more inside]
posted by surenoproblem on Jul 13, 2009 - 32 answers

Do I really have to say goodbye to all that, so soon?

I love my husband. But we can't really have sex, and that's not going to change. I'm thinking of looking elsewhere for it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2009 - 74 answers

"... and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad."

I found out that my dad cheated on my mom, and that my parents are dealing with his infidelity. They don't know I know. I don't want to tell them. In fact, I'd love to forget it. But I can't stop thinking about it and am having trouble sleeping. I need some tools to deal. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2008 - 40 answers

A married friend hit on me. Why can't I stop thinking about him?

A married friend hit on me. Why can't I stop thinking about him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2006 - 12 answers

Playing Magnum P.I.

Distilled: I want to know how to legally gather information on somebody. Expounded: Many moons ago, my parents had a serious row with infidelity when my stepfather admitted to a long-term affair. After much counseling, they were able to save their 15 year marriage, and in time seemed closer and happier than ever before. It was the sort of story that gave people some hope for humanity and renewed faith in the ability of people to make good. Now -- 8 years later -- the specter rears its head again... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2005 - 16 answers

Help me get over my guilt over a past infidelity!

How do I get over the guilt of having been (very) unfaithful to my loving wife, when she doesn't have any idea it happened? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2005 - 55 answers

Well-spouse needs guidance.

Can I seek companionship outside my marriage and still respect myself in the morning? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2005 - 31 answers

What are the rates of marital infidelity in western nations?

Can anyone point me to information about rates of marital infidelity in western nations? I'm particularly interested in the United States, but figures on other first world nations would provide interesting material for comparison.
posted by Irontom on Feb 5, 2004 - 5 answers

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