1284 posts tagged with marriage.
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Last minute marriage, need to not pay for health insurance twice

We got married on the spur of the moment and are now facing the prospect of paying for health insurance twice for the first couple of months of being married. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2015 - 4 answers

Give me your best NON-RELIGIOUS wedding readings

I'm looking for a short reading for our wedding that we can ask an athiest friend of ours to read. Other portions of the ceremony will contain religious elements, but we don't want to ask him to read anything that might make him feel uncomfortable or awkward. [more inside]
posted by rainbowbrite on Mar 25, 2015 - 29 answers

Marriage models?

Looking for research on good marriages, not memoirs or personal anecdotes. My therapist asked me the qualities of a good marriage and I hadn't a clue. My immediate family are all unhappily married, and I only recently realised how fearful my own marriage is and left. I basically assume that "If they're not beating you or cheating on you, that's enough." I'm looking for what comes after reading John Gottman: research on thriving marriages, including multicultural or historical. Books, documentaries, films and novels, scholarly keywords etc. I'm not looking for personal accounts but bibliography recommendations.
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

what to do when husband refuses to go to counseling?

I'm at my wits end with my husband and not sure how much longer I can take it, but he refuses to go to counseling. Is there any way I can save our relationship without counseling? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2015 - 75 answers

My husband will not have sex with me. Can I hear it from the men?

I have been married for 8 years. We have one son, he is 6. I would love to give him a sibling, but it is very hard to get my husband interested in sex. Apart from the procreative goal, it is very lonely and hurtful living with someone who to all intents and purposes does not find me attractive. I am slim, reasonably fit and look good for my age (late thirties-he is a few years older). He is otherwise loving and affectionate. What do you men say? Why would you go off your own wife sexually? [more inside]
posted by millionpieces on Mar 18, 2015 - 37 answers

People who have been proposed to: Did you want downtime after?

After 4 years of happy dating, I'm taking the plunge and asking the lady friend to marry me. We've discussed it in the past, so it's not out of left field, but she doesn't know that I've got a ring in hand. Now, her birthday is in a few weeks and my plan was this: Scavenger Hunt fun that ends with a proposal and then after we've had our little bliss, the last surprise: Our friends and family gathered for a surprise birthday party/omg -lemme-see-the-ring party. I told a friend about the plan and she looked at me like I was crazy. She insisted that after her engagement she just wanted private time to chill and bask and that I was going to be putting my beloved in a weird place. So- If you've been proposed to, does that plan seem out of line? Did you want chill, private time after? Obviously, everyone is different, but I wanted to hear it from the Hivemind. Thoughts/concerns?
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 70 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Husband's 'teen' porn

How common or uncommon is it for men who look at porn to look at 'teen' porn? I stumbled upon the tabs for my husband’s porn viewing session. All of the videos included "teen" as a keyword in the title. The people did not appear prepubescent. I am having a negative reaction to this. My questions, in order, for the site are: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2015 - 48 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Support my wife with her new career, that hasn't paid yet.

Marriage / Employment filter: My wife is finally incredibly happy in her job (a new career), but it hasn't paid a check for 6 months. I want to be supportive, but all I see is her working her ass off and not getting paid. What do we need to talk about / to weigh at the 1 year mark when we assess her getting a job with a salary? (see within for a very long story) [more inside]
posted by lonemantis on Mar 4, 2015 - 35 answers

How do Indian Arranged Marriages work?

I will be visiting India soon to get an arranged marriage. I would like to know what to expect and how to handle the situation. [more inside]
posted by json12 on Mar 2, 2015 - 16 answers

Am I being unreasonable?

I need some help understanding if my husband's behavior is completely out of line or if my expectations are completely out of line. [more inside]
posted by all the dead are dead alike on Feb 26, 2015 - 70 answers

How to support myself while supporting my transitioning spouse?

Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 10 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

How do we tell his family that we are having a secular wedding?

My fiance and I are both atheists with strong antitheist views. We're getting married in November and want something that represents us. His family, however, is extremely religious (Baptist) and will have certain expectations of us; they don't easily take no for an answer. What is the best way to balance the two worlds? [more inside]
posted by DriftingLotus on Feb 8, 2015 - 30 answers

Sleep is my religion, but it's not his.

My husband snores loudly (85db peaks). I'm a light sleeper, and have general anxiety and PTSD issues that are exacerbated by lack of sleep. I can't sacrifice my mental health to the snoring! I'm perfectly happy sleeping in another room, and this was part of the deal when we got married. Now he's really upset about it. I don't need solutions for the snoring, just for the anger and upset it's causing in our home. [more inside]
posted by Bottlecap on Feb 6, 2015 - 57 answers

How do I tell them it's OK to be white?

One of my nieces, currently studying in Europe, recently came home (somewhere in Subsaharan Africa) with her white European boyfriend to introduce him to the family and her parents are dead set against the idea of her marrying the guy. [more inside]
posted by Kwadeng on Feb 2, 2015 - 15 answers

Therapist in Durham, NC

Can you recommend a female marriage counselor in Durham, NC? Or, failing that, any good female therapist who can help me make sense of my marriage?
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2015 - 4 answers

Weddingfilter: Non–Legal ceremony home in UK, Legal ceremony Pacific NW

My fiancee and I have spent much of our adult lives travelling and have a fondness for our time spent in the United States. As such we would love to be married there. We are planning to hold a humanist ceremony / blessing / non–legal ceremony in the UK and rather than the usual Registry Office ceremony to take care of the legal things, we were hoping to Honeymoon in the Pacific Northwest and get legally married while there. I am trying to work out a few things … [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2015 - 3 answers

To the Sex(t) Level

I want to introduce more kink and toys to sexy time with the Mr. I need to first get over my embarrassment of kink and sex toys so that I can then apply your lessons for how to introduce kink and sex toys to the Mr. [more inside]
posted by tafetta, darling! on Jan 28, 2015 - 18 answers

When a man tells you "You are the one" does he really mean it?

How soon do you realize that the person you are with is the one you are marring? I am sure everyone is different and have a different opinion about this but, I just started to seeing this guy(we both are in 40s), we are doing great, we've been together every day since the day we met. I'm at his house every night and waking up with him every morning. So the things are more than great. But the bottom line is, I only have known him for 2 months. Yes we know alot about each other, he's trying to learn about me fastest he can. I see that every day. but 2 month is still 2 month. [more inside]
posted by heliosheath on Jan 26, 2015 - 47 answers

Help me be a good wife to my unemployed husband

What did your spouse do when you were unemployed that was really helpful? What did you do that made a difference to your partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 8, 2015 - 21 answers

Disagreements about money negatively impacting our marriage, what to do

We are having some issues related to money and it is negatively impacting our marriage. I am thinking about therapy but our issues seem so minor compared to many others. Should we seek counseling? LONG snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2015 - 46 answers

Best help for my depressed husband who can't quit his soul-crushing job?

With no hesitation I would tell him to leave this job, but he is the primary breadwinner, and without his income our lives will fall apart almost instantly. I'm taking classes so I can get a better-paying job, but that will months and months from now. [more inside]
posted by possumbrie on Jan 6, 2015 - 28 answers

My husband says she's his best friend. Really?

Please tell me if you have had an intense friendship with someone of the sex you're attracted to and it genuinely was platonic. My husband is very close to another woman and swears they're just friends. I'm worried. He adores her, he spends every spare minute with her and when they're not together, I know he's thinking of her. He isn't like this with any other friend and never has been (we've been married 15 years). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2015 - 101 answers

Husband pushed me down. Now what?

On Christmas morning, my husband and I got into a verbal fight about a movie. He then charged at me and pushed me down. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2015 - 79 answers

Things you wish you had talked about before getting married

My partner and I are discussing getting married within the next year, and I thought I'd get the hive's opinion on important topics to go over before tying the knot. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Jan 4, 2015 - 37 answers

Demisexuality

Am I demisexual and is this rare? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 1, 2015 - 37 answers

Self-help books for couples re: Emotional Connection/Intimacy?

Looking for books that specifically focus on forging emotional connections, or on helping one or both members of the marriage open up emotionally and communicate about feelings. Books that couples can read together/have proactive exercises we can do together would be preferable. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2014 - 10 answers

Here comes the non-traditional bride...

Turns out, neither my partner nor I are wedding planners so we’ve decided to elope on New Year’s Eve. Hurray! So far, we’ve had 6 days to plan since our decision. I’ve acquired THIS lovely dress to wear on the big day. Problem is, I’m not sure how to accessorize it in a way to signify I’m a bride. Looking for some suggestion for styles of jewelry, shoes, and whatnot to help me accomplish a bridal look. [more inside]
posted by turniphead on Dec 27, 2014 - 18 answers

Book recommendations - novels that focus on female desire and betrayal?

I'm looking for recommendations around novels that feature female characters who are conflicted about desire and involve sexual betrayal. [more inside]
posted by sharks don't eat potatoes on Dec 27, 2014 - 14 answers

Close friends of the opposite sex - both happily married?

If you are/were in a happy monogamous relationship and developed a close, 100% platonic totally public friendship with someone of the opposite sex also in a happily monogamous relationship, how did you manage this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2014 - 28 answers

Insecure Attachment in Relationships - resources please.

My marriage can be very good, but it can also be very challenging, and has been particularly so in the past few months. Based on our interactions, I've been reading up on attachment and suspect that we both struggle with different types of insecure attachment. I'm looking for resources (online or print) that can help me better understand how our different issues are playing out in our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 3 answers

How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?

At what point in the long, slow, steady decline of a marriage with young children does "we should keep trying to work things out, if only for the kids" become "for the kids' sake, we shouldn't be together"? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Dec 19, 2014 - 57 answers

Coping with uncertainty after asking alcoholic husband to move out

Last night after the final trampling of my boundaries, I asked my husband to please move out. I'm sort of adrift now. Hope me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2014 - 28 answers

Scrooging, or Too Generous?

How have you worked within a relationship with both have very different views (extreme?) on gift giving/receiving (to other people, not to each other)? In what ways have you managed your potentially irrational feelings regarding something you feel conflicted about? [more inside]
posted by sandmanwv on Dec 9, 2014 - 16 answers

My fiance wants to reschedule our wedding (again)

I need advice on a) what to do, and b) how to process my feelings. My fiance and I have been engaged for a year. Our original plan was to have a traditional wedding in June 2015. We decided that it was too much and we wanted to elope. 3 weeks ago, we set our "wedding date" for December 18th. Today my fiance told me that he felt depressed (he sometimes gets pretty bad seasonal depression) and stressed out, and that if we get married now, he's not going to enjoy it at all. He wants to reschedule again. [more inside]
posted by permiechickie on Dec 1, 2014 - 66 answers

How do you deal with monogamy?

I find it very hard to cope with extramarital attractions that are cropping up several years into my marriage. What gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 25 answers

Rules of Marriage and a J-2 Visa to the US

My long-term boyfriend is moving to the US for his PhD-degree in September 2015 and plans on getting a J-1 visa. I would like to join him on a J-2, but we are not married yet. Is it possible for him to apply for a visa this winter, then we get married in the spring/early summer, and then I can apply for a J-2 visa at that time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2014 - 6 answers

Resources for Husbands of Rape Survivors

My wife was raped (drugged by a "friend", she doesn't remember the event). I need some help finding (online, books, etc) resources for comfort and perspective for myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 20 answers

What is the probable timeline for same-sex marriage in Georgia?

I want to be legally married to my partner in our home state. I can't figure out when that will probably be possible. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Nov 12, 2014 - 12 answers

how to tell people we're getting married

We’ve decided to get married after dating for about 1.5 years because he needs a visa to stay here, and I feel weird telling my friends about it. [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Nov 7, 2014 - 44 answers

The Pros and Cons of Marriage

Assuming we'll be together until death, I'm wondering what the reasons are for and against marrying my partner. [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing on Nov 7, 2014 - 34 answers

How do you move on after a really bad fight?

My hubby and I had an enormous blowup a few months ago and it's still bothering me. I am seeing a counselor to work through some of the residual feelings and depression that have come in the aftermath of the fight, which is helping a lot. I would like some additional insight from other MeFites about how you have dealt with difficult feelings with a partner after a really bad incident. [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Nov 6, 2014 - 120 answers

Gotta prove we're married .. but license copy is delayed

I need to demonstrate our married status to an insurance company, sooner rather than later. Can't find our marriage license; I ordered a copy from the issuing authority, but it will take a couple of weeks. The insurance company says 'Send any other documents that show you're married,' and they'll make a decision based on those. I'm thinking IRS correspondence, mortgage papers, old insurance policy ... any other ideas?
posted by LonnieK on Nov 3, 2014 - 13 answers

Marriage counseling by Skype?

Can anyone recommend a marriage counselor who will work on Skype? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2014 - 1 answer

Why do men appear to be far more likely to be married than women?

This question isn't about my life situation - I'm just genuinely curious. Why does it seem as if there are almost no never-married straight men past the age of about 35 - but a good number of never-married straight women? Am I misperceiving things? I have of course heard of exceptions to this, but startlingly few. I would just like to clear up my perception and, if I'm onto something, better understand why this phenomenon exists.
posted by Tess on Oct 17, 2014 - 35 answers

Finally had the "marriage" talk with long term boyfriend

Do our expectations of when to get married one day match up? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Oct 14, 2014 - 41 answers

How to make the best use of two (only two!) mediation sessions

My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 15 answers

I promise that I'm just going out for a walk

For the last few months, I feel like my wife has been monitoring my behaviour, moods, and trying to monitor my thoughts (almost). I feel untrusted and it's bringing me very low. I've tried addressing it with her and talking through my feelings, but it only seems to stop temporarily. Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2014 - 52 answers

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