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Sharing relationship problems for advice with best friend

Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 16, 2014 - 22 answers

How to talk about life insurance without paranoia?

At a dinner party at our home a few years ago one of our guests brought up issues of life insurance and their concerns about adequate coverage for their family. They asked my husband and I how we manage our policies. My husband announced to the group that he refuses to get life insurance because he feels such a policy would prompt me to actively seek ways to end his life. He was serious. This has caused no small amount of angst on my part, and I need some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2014 - 55 answers

Taking a few days for myself… now what?

After a turbulent period in my marriage, I'm taking a few days out for myself. Thing is, I don't know exactly what to do in those few days, or how best to work on things in my marriage whilst I'm away. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Sep 8, 2014 - 32 answers

Considering marriage in a loving relationship but for a visa? Yes, no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 9 years. I've been offered a GREAT job in the US - the only way he could work there, it seems, would be to get married. Problem: we both really never thought of getting married - and it's 100% not romantic. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2014 - 38 answers

Can this marriage be saved?

I am a 35-year-old female, my husband is 44. We are having issues with mismatched libidos, but it goes deeper than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2014 - 19 answers

Marriage Discussion in Long Term Relationship

How would you bring up discussion of marriage without scaring your partner or making them feel pressured? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 4, 2014 - 17 answers

What to do about a sexless, but not loveless, marriage?

I have been dreading asking this question because it’s so painful, but I feel like I really need to get this sorted out so I can move on with my life. So here it is: My husband and I haven’t had sex in over a year, probably inching closer to two years by now and I wonder if I’m just fooling myself/prolonging the inevitable in staying married to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 31 answers

Marriage counseling in Durham, NC

My wife and I are in desperate need for marriage counseling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 2 answers

How to adjust my negative expectation of relationships

I grew up witnessing my parents' verbally abusive marriage. They are combative and insulting toward each other. Also, my mom has always blamed her marriage and kids for her stalled career and other unhappiness in her life. When I think of having a relationship, I automatically feel like it will drag me down and make my life worse. I've come to understand over the years that others actually think of a relationship as a safety net and source of comfort. I want to think of them that way too. How can I adjust my mentality? [more inside]
posted by vienna on Aug 13, 2014 - 16 answers

Married but fell for a co-worker

I have fallen hard for someone at work. My 18-year marriage has been good, but now that I'm in this place I'm in, I'm seeing things in a different light and I am beginning to question everything. If you've been through this kind of thing before, what has helped you work through it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2014 - 55 answers

Marriage-related charities?

My fiancé and I would like to make our first joint gift to charity around the time we get married. It would be nice if the charity is marriage-related in some way. We're already aware of and are considering organizations that promote marriage-equality, but are also looking for other ideas. (For example, we found one that works to prevent child marriage, and others that help survivors of domestic abuse.) Other suggestions -- preferably specific recommendations -- along these lines? US-based would be the most convenient.
posted by redlines on Aug 11, 2014 - 4 answers

How do I know when the time is right to propose?

Help me figure out what I need to know before proposing to my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2014 - 19 answers

Good Source for Relationship Statistics

Does this exist? The popular myth is that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but those numbers are slippery. Is there a place with a good breakdown? [more inside]
posted by Athene on Aug 6, 2014 - 9 answers

Options for changing your name when you marry?

I just got engaged (yay!) and now, I have to think about what to do about my name. There are a few options I am considering. I need some pros and cons for each from those who have been down this road... [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Aug 5, 2014 - 55 answers

How can I both cure my depression and get my sex drive back?

I used to like all kinds of funky sex. Since depression came into my life a few years ago, I've been far, far less sexual. In the last few months, I can't even find the will to masturbate let alone allow my beloved to penetrate me or otherwise enjoy sexual activity with me. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I also want to get back to embodying the sexual being I used to be. How? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2014 - 10 answers

How do I "I do?"

My partner and I are having a wedding in two months. We'd like to get legally married before the ceremony, but can't decide what the best option for us would be. My partner is a man, but here in Ohio it isn't possible for him to change his birth certificate to match this. Do we go to another state to marry, or try to get a license in Ohio? [more inside]
posted by dinofuzz on Jul 25, 2014 - 11 answers

Should we move for more money/career advancement?

My husband was laid off from his job a few weeks ago. We have a toddler and live in Chicago. I've lived here forever, all of my family and friends are here, and I have a job I love here. So far, he hasn't come across any opportunities in this area, but we've seen some great looking job postings in smaller cities in flyover states. (Think Des Moines and Omaha.) Should he consider pursuing these opportunities, or should we stay where we are and struggle along? [more inside]
posted by GirlLikesBeer on Jul 22, 2014 - 26 answers

Bed sharing with a toddler

My wife has shared a bed with our toddler since she was born. I was never comfortable with it, and so I have spent a long 2 years on the couch. There is no end in sight and it's messing up our marriage. More below. [more inside]
posted by mouseboy on Jul 21, 2014 - 45 answers

How to celebrate six months of marriage at a wedding party?

In March, Mrs. HeroZero and I exchanged vows and rings at City Hall with a very small group of friends and immediate family. On Labor Day, we're having a bigger wedding party with the friends and family who couldn't come to the original, tiny event. What are some ideas for making this ceremony meaningful in a way that's different from how a wedding goes? [more inside]
posted by HeroZero on Jul 20, 2014 - 7 answers

All Your Vow Are Belong to Us

My youngest brother is getting married next month and, through the oft-celebrated-on-MeFi wonders of a Universal Life Church ordination, I'm set to perform the service. My brother and his spouse-to-be are both video game aficionados. I'd like to subtly insert some clever video game/nerd culture references into their vows. I'm not personally a gamer, though, so this stuff doesn't come naturally. What's more, I'd like to sort of walk a line such that said references would not be so over-the-top, eye-roll inducing, or confusing that non-gamers would be confused or irritated. Ideas?
posted by DirtyOldTown on Jul 19, 2014 - 21 answers

Help my future-husband and I choose a meaningful new last name

We're a mixed-race couple that are getting married soonish and really want to blend our Chinese-whiteness together into one name, but are coming up completely blank. I need ideas! Chinese surname with an alternative spelling? White last name that sounds suspiciously Chinese? [more inside]
posted by Snacks on Jul 18, 2014 - 36 answers

Should I get back together with my ex-wife?

I could really use some input to help me sort through all of this. At 40 years old, she was having a lesbian affair and asked me to move out. I was devastated. But in hindsight, our marriage wasn't a good one. And I suppose it was just a matter of time before something came along to unravel the whole thing. Now she wants me back. I have no clue how I even feel, much less if I even want to try again. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by normal_guy on Jul 17, 2014 - 37 answers

Marriage is in the cards for us, but we want to elope! How do we do it?

We want to elope. How do we do it? What does it cost? What things do I need to think about? Ideally, I would love to have a target cost to shoot for. [more inside]
posted by MMALR on Jul 14, 2014 - 20 answers

Love songs for married couples?

Songs about long-term, developed love - not butterflies. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Jul 11, 2014 - 78 answers

How to survive early marriage counseling?

After several years of problems -- I repressed all my complaints, my spouse just sulked silently and suggested I "get over it" -- we finally started marriage counseling, and the trauma and upheaval of having this all out in the open is unbearable. How do people make it through? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2014 - 19 answers

single-hood wasted on the single?

What do you or did you enjoy about being single? What do partnered mefites miss? [more inside]
posted by morganw on Jul 10, 2014 - 88 answers

I don't want to talk about that, but I don't want to stonewall, either

My wife will not stop questioning me about a horrible incident from my past. I've answered her questions already, but she doesn't like me asking to not talk about it. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jul 8, 2014 - 110 answers

The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Helping him but not forcing it

My husband is probably mentally ill. How do I help him get treatment when he really doesn't want it? [more inside]
posted by cobain_angel on Jul 3, 2014 - 44 answers

Sibling weddings cannot be in same month, even in different years?

I have two brothers-in-law, my husband's younger siblings. Both of them are getting married. The older of the two, who we'll call Brother A, has been planning his wedding for a while. His fiancé and he have been dating for a few years and are planning a traditional wedding for next year in August. The younger, Brother B, is getting married ASAP to a girlfriend he has only been dating briefly, for well... the classic reason for getting married in a hurry. They also want to get married in August, of this year. Brother A says that's "his" month. Is that even a thing? [more inside]
posted by Comrade Doll on Jun 30, 2014 - 53 answers

Should I tell hubby about my poor behavior?

About 15 years ago I behaved badly. Should I tell my husband about it? Ordinarily I'd say no, it's in the past. But there are some complicating factors. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2014 - 29 answers

Do prostitutes date and marry? How does that work?

I had assumed that it would be nearly impossible for prostitutes to date and marry, due to the stigma of sex work, the increased risk of venereal disease, and the guarantee of infidelity. Apparently, this is not true, and now I'm really curious about the dynamics of those relationships, especially how they deal with the question of fidelity. Both scholarly works and ancedata would be welcome. [more inside]
posted by d. z. wang on Jun 27, 2014 - 22 answers

I'm PRETTY sure I'm gay. Help me be okay with it.

I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature. I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Jun 26, 2014 - 29 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Transitioning to a long distance relationship

My husband will be moving from where we live in the NYC area to Boston for work for a minimum of three to five years and I'll be staying here. I'm looking for suggestions on how to transition to a long distance relationship and then how to maintain it. Best practices, things that worked, things that didn't work, and any ideas for how to survive a difficult transition. [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek on Jun 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Help Me Not Use My Partner's ADD As A Crutch.

My partner, who I love dearly, has Adult ADD, which means, among many symptoms, he gets "stuck" at work and has trouble transitioning out of work projects. If he is particularly engaged in work this means he does not come home until 10 p.m. or later. Sometimes he pulls all-nighters at the office. Spouses of ADD partners, how do you create your own routine in the midst of disarray? I don't want to assume he will fail -- i.e. not expect him home until after 11 p.m. -- but frequently that is what he does. It feels cold-hearted to assume I will be spending the evening alone, but if I am to make my own healthy habits, it seems I must make them solo. How do I create healthy habits in the midst of uncertainty? I want to encourage him to come home and spend time with me, but I'm aware that counting on him to be home and participate in shared activities sets me up to fail. Help me, hivemind (and any stories of thriving with an ADD spouse would be much, much appreciated!!). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2014 - 9 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

He wants me to work. I want to make babies and joy. Can it blend?

My husband just told me that having an ambitious, driven wife is really important to him. I have worked like a dog all my life and now that my baby clock is ticking, I was looking forward to stopping and having children and focusing on a household. Is there any way to make us both happy? [more inside]
posted by sockmeamadeus on May 29, 2014 - 71 answers

In a relationship, in love with a friend, need to make some decisions

I’m in a stable and loving relationship that is approaching the deadline for commitment. I’ve had strong feelings for someone else for a long time, which I’ve managed to control, but have recently resurfaced with a vengeance, and are making me seriously question whether to commit. Help! [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on May 27, 2014 - 33 answers

My husband won't take responsibility for our dog (maybe) getting sick

My husband accidentally exposed our dog to raisins, and I just wish he'd take some responsibility for it. [more inside]
posted by LaurenIpsum on May 24, 2014 - 35 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

How much did I contribute to my mom staying in her abusive marriage?

My dad is verbally abusive. My mother told me many times as a child that she want to divorce him but is staying for the kids. She said that when I grew up, she would leave my dad and come live with me forever. When I became an adult, I decided I don't want my mom living with me for the rest of my life. She is still with my dad, being verbally abused. Did I cause her to stay in her abusive marriage because I changed my mind? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on May 7, 2014 - 59 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Concerned with husband's recent forays into binge drinking

My moderate-drinker husband has twice in the last month drank to the point of repeatedly vomiting. These binges are out of character and deeply concerning. Should he see his doctor? What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2014 - 42 answers

Should I leave my husband?

I married my husband almost a year ago. Prior to that we had been dating 6 months. I am 21. This person is my best friend who saved me from a very dark place in my life. He means a lot to me, and does so much for me. [more inside]
posted by wilywabbit on Apr 24, 2014 - 53 answers

DIfferent Ideals

How do I deal with completely different ideals in a marriage? [more inside]
posted by cobain_angel on Apr 17, 2014 - 94 answers

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

Just one year old marriage and in crisis

Just one year old marriage and in crisis [more inside]
posted by Sall on Apr 14, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner?

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 26 answers

Any female performers who share a last name with their husband?

I've noticed that female performers tend to keep the surname they were born with, if they don't come up with a whole new artist name entirely. They hardly ever take their husband's name. Please help me find a decent list of exceptions. I am looking for answers in two categories: 1. Women who started as performers, then changed their last names when they got married. 2. Women who got married and took their husbands' last names, then embarked on successful performance careers. Bonus points for women from the above cases whose husbands aren't famous themselves. Important: I am not interested in cases where the actress creates a hyphenation of her maiden name and her husband's name, like Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Jada Pinkett Smith, or Pamela Anderson Lee. Unfortunately those are the only ones I can think of!
posted by oxisos on Mar 30, 2014 - 51 answers

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