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115 posts tagged with manners.
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Sibling weddings cannot be in same month, even in different years?

I have two brothers-in-law, my husband's younger siblings. Both of them are getting married. The older of the two, who we'll call Brother A, has been planning his wedding for a while. His fiancé and he have been dating for a few years and are planning a traditional wedding for next year in August. The younger, Brother B, is getting married ASAP to a girlfriend he has only been dating briefly, for well... the classic reason for getting married in a hurry. They also want to get married in August, of this year. Brother A says that's "his" month. Is that even a thing? [more inside]
posted by Comrade Doll on Jun 30, 2014 - 53 answers

Jersey Inappropriatre for a Ride

I'm doing a bike ride that is to raise money for breast cancer research. Truthfully, I'm more interested in the ride, but there will be many on the ride more focused on the cause. I wanted to wear my new Sufferfest jersey, but worried that, given the folks who may be/know breast cancer survivors, it might be viewed as offensive or insensitive. Is it OK to wear the jersey, or should I pick a different one to avoid hurting someone's feelings? [more inside]
posted by MrGuilt on Jun 5, 2014 - 17 answers

Disarming things one can say when giving up a seat on the bus?

I regularly run into a semi embarrassing situation when offering my seat to someone on the bus, and I would prefer to give both myself and the stranger in question easier outs. [more inside]
posted by allkindsoftime on Mar 26, 2014 - 52 answers

Who should say thank you?

At checkout, the cashier hands you a coffee, you hand them money, they hand you change, then somebody says thank you and somebody says you're welcome. I'd like to know who you think should be the person to say thank you. [more inside]
posted by smirkyfodder on Nov 9, 2013 - 57 answers

Yeah, I know....

When someone tells you some fact or story, is it rude to tell someone you already knew that? [more inside]
posted by side effect on Sep 15, 2013 - 21 answers

What's a good sort-of-host-gift for a first-time house visit?

At the behest of a third-party acquaintance, I'll be visiting the house of someone I don't know, to see a Cool Thing that's relevant to my interests. What (if anything) is an appropriate gift to bring along in these circumstances? [more inside]
posted by yersinia on Jul 10, 2013 - 18 answers

"He swirled his brandy counter-clockwise?! Bah!"

Imagine you are in 19th century Britain and sharing a cocktail and a cigar with some upper crust gentlemen. What are some subtle actions that, while not essentially rude in nature, would still come across as a huge faux pas or violation of etiquette in that time period, specifically among the wealthy? I'm more interested in actions performed incorrectly, rather than spoken statements which are unintentionally offensive.
posted by egeanin on Jun 19, 2013 - 25 answers

How to react when stranger is indignant over something accidental?

What's the best response when you accidentally knock into someone in public and they are excessively rude about it? [more inside]
posted by lacedcoffee on Jun 6, 2013 - 73 answers

I drunkenly agreed to sing Katy Perry at a lesbian wedding. What now?

Hoo boy. While very, very, very drunk at a wedding reception, my aunt came up to me and said "We're going to sing "I Kissed a Girl" at (cousin's) wedding! You should help!" . I was sitting there trying to figure out when my face had stopped communicating with my brain, so I just said okay. I took a taxi back to the hotel, watched public access TV for a minute until I figured out it wasn't SNL (as I said: drunk), and went to bed. The next morning, however, I remembered that I hate "I Kissed a Girl" because it's about sexually exploiting lesbians as a "game". And also it would be really embarrassing to sing! But mostly the first reason. There's also the issue that afaik, everyone in the singing group is straight (except for me, but I'm not out to my family so it's a moot point). [more inside]
posted by WhathaveIdonenow? on May 5, 2013 - 26 answers

Politely parenting my kid's playdates?

My preschooler is getting just old enough to have a proper social life (playdates, birthday parties, etc.). I've got some specific questions about the parental etiquette expectations surrounding these kiddie get-togethers. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Apr 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Call before dropping by, is this a regional thing?

My fiance and I have different opinions about visiting and whether or not we should call first. I'm not saying either of us are right or wrong, but I'm wondering if it's a regional thing. [more inside]
posted by patheral on Jan 15, 2013 - 74 answers

Keeping a beard respectable

My friend is growing a beautiful bushy beard and moustache. After several months it's wonderfully luxuriant. But, it's got to the stage where he can't eat without spillage. As for soup, forget about it - he can hardly have a mouthful before he has to wield a napkin and wipe spoonfuls away. My friend is very elegant and finds this sloppiness excruciating, especially in public. [more inside]
posted by glasseyes on Jan 11, 2013 - 21 answers

How do I change my SO's behavior on matters of good manners and attitude? Should I?

How do I change my SO's behavior on matters of good manners and attitude? Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2012 - 29 answers

Share house shower etiquette? (In Japan)

I am a guy living in a co-ed sharehouse in Japan. I may have committed a faux pas, and would like to know proper sharehouse shower etiquette. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123 on Nov 14, 2012 - 18 answers

Letitia Baldrige died for my sins

We are very, very late with our wedding thank-yous. Over a year. We know we are horrible people, okay? Now what? [more inside]
posted by Madamina on Nov 6, 2012 - 32 answers

Bad manners to go to a dinner with casual aquaintances when you have a cold?

It's 3pm now. Going to an event, a dinner, that starts at 6pm hopefully, but I have a cold. Might it turn out that I am unwelcome at the event if I go? Thing is, I know exactly who gave me the cold and don't really thank them for it. Is it bad etiquette to go to something like this if you have a cold? They are not friends or anything that I would otherwise be exposed to. [more inside]
posted by Nish ton on Nov 3, 2012 - 24 answers

Who is the rude one?

What is appropriate in terns of modifying a home cooked meal? [more inside]
posted by bq on Oct 25, 2012 - 63 answers

Paging amateur Miss Manners..

Miss Manners filter: What to do when I feel like my friend/roommate is trying to drive a small wedge in my relationship. I can't decide what the "I'm afraid that won't be possible" is for this situation. Small wall o' text inside. [more inside]
posted by jorlyfish on Oct 22, 2012 - 22 answers

Did I just offend this landscaper?

What did I do that was inappropriate in my consultation with this gardener/ landscape designer? [more inside]
posted by steinwald on Sep 22, 2012 - 30 answers

Do not speak to me in the imperative mood.

My partner sometimes speaks or writes to me in the imperative mood ("Do this, then do that." "Take the car to the shop.") It is an issue because I feel she is speaking to the staff, and I am not the staff. I have objected to this behavior continuously over several years. We are in couples' counseling, but it does not seem to be working. We're apparently at an impasse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2012 - 49 answers

Is it tacky to ask an ex-vendor for tickets?

Manners-filter: Is it bad form to ask an ex-vendor about previously promised tickets from a few months ago? [more inside]
posted by windbox on May 30, 2012 - 19 answers

How to email strangers who work in your academic area?

[Grad School Filter] “Hello more-established stranger who already did the academic research I wanted to do and my committee is making me email you…” Does anyone have any verbage that seems graceful and appropriate? [more inside]
posted by powerbumpkin on May 29, 2012 - 11 answers

What is the best way to deal with a neighbor's smelly dog kennel?

I live in a house in a suburban neighborhood and my neighbor's dog lives full-time in a kennel that is on the line of our property. The neighbors do not clean the kennel regularly and it smells. [more inside]
posted by WhathaveIdonenow? on Apr 8, 2012 - 10 answers

Can you help me decline an open dinner invitation?

How do I decline an open dinner invitation from an acquaintance with whom I do not wish to spend time? [more inside]
posted by kellygreen on Mar 18, 2012 - 17 answers

Developing the non-pushy ask

How do I, very much an asker, make it easy and comfortable for an askee if they want to say "no"? or do I need to just not ask? [more inside]
posted by spbmp on Mar 10, 2012 - 29 answers

Put a sock in it?

As a follow up on this post I have come to the hivemind for assistance b/c I talk too much and too loudly and want to change. [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Feb 13, 2012 - 14 answers

I need something from the Department of Snappy Retorts.

What can I say to people who make racist comments about my baby? [more inside]
posted by gentian on Feb 2, 2012 - 79 answers

Class me up

Classing up! Help me polish my rough edges and learn to hang with the elites [more inside]
posted by carolinaherrera on Jan 2, 2012 - 37 answers

Am I a total snob for being embarrassed by my friend's table habit?

Am I a total snob for being embarrassed by my friend's table habit? If so, how can I fix it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2011 - 58 answers

Hey, I don't really want to hug her, either.

Unwilling toddlers and forced social interactions with adults: is it OK to instruct your child to (for instance) hug Great-Aunt Maisie, when she'd prefer not to? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Dec 29, 2011 - 46 answers

Scenarios...

How do you "wrap up" a first date that goes well? Or a date that doesn't go well? [more inside]
posted by StrictlyVague on Dec 23, 2011 - 17 answers

Candle: thoughtful or crude?

Is it thoughtful or vulgar to leave a candle burning in the guest bathroom when you entertain? [more inside]
posted by Morrigan on Nov 28, 2011 - 79 answers

Don't let the dog eat the bunting - rude or informative?

I'm sending my brother + SIL a handmade baby bunting that has been around cats...and they have a dog. It is reasonable or rude to let them know this in case the dog finds it irresistibly chewable? [more inside]
posted by FlyByDay on Sep 17, 2011 - 10 answers

how to respond to'what do you think of my house?'

Help me with a simple, polite, but to the point response. [more inside]
posted by ebesan on Sep 4, 2011 - 33 answers

How can I improve my daughter's table manners?

How can I improve my daughter's table manners? [more inside]
posted by cheapskatebay on Jul 27, 2011 - 37 answers

Is there any way to uninvite someone?

How do you uninvite someone to a party? Is it ever acceptable? [more inside]
posted by Hey nonny nonny mouse on Jul 9, 2011 - 42 answers

Take A Compliment Already (Don't Give It Back Though?)

Is "you too" a faux-pas when someone compliments you? [more inside]
posted by herbplarfegan on Mar 17, 2011 - 16 answers

In need of some happy tails...

Dog Filter: If you have a really awesome dog that you adopted when they were around a year old- tell me about it. Specifically, the journey from crazy wily pup to well mannered dog whom you can take anywhere and not have to worry about a thing.
posted by MayNicholas on Feb 27, 2011 - 15 answers

Please help me to tell people I will not always be available to them

Please help me to politely tell people that I am not available 24/7 by phone. [more inside]
posted by triggerfinger on Dec 22, 2010 - 62 answers

If my fly is down, I want to know.

Is there some kind of official or everyone-knows-about-it gesture to indicate that someone has their fly open? If not, why not? [more inside]
posted by cgk on Dec 4, 2010 - 25 answers

Is turnaround fair play when it comes to weddings?

Despite my profile name, my wife and I recently celebrated our two year anniversary. Yay! We recently received an engagement party and wedding invitation from a couple that didn't give us a gift for our wedding. Now, we're not sure how to handle the gift situation. Do we get them a gift as we would any other wedding, do we scale down the size of the gift, or do we not give a gift at all? [more inside]
posted by love is a murderer on Oct 19, 2010 - 65 answers

The unwritten code of rock concerts.

Rock concert etiquette: What are the unwritten rules of general admission, unseated shows. re: your spot. [more inside]
posted by windbox on Oct 16, 2010 - 32 answers

So... your husband. Not a child molester, by any chance?

There is a very small, but still nonzero, chance that my brother-in-law might be a pedophile. I have a toddler daughter who is very close to her aunt. How can I tactfully gather more information about this, and how should I handle it with my family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2010 - 59 answers

Why is my English boyfriend so reserved?

Are British people kind of socially retarded or is it normal for them to not be chatty and friendly with people they don't know well? [more inside]
posted by KimikoPi on Aug 5, 2010 - 57 answers

who could resist a baby animal?

How can I politely inform my neighbor that we would like some advance notice on visits? [more inside]
posted by 200burritos on Jul 18, 2010 - 19 answers

How do we control the excessive taking of food in our complimentary breakfast?

How do we control the excessive taking of food in our complimentary breakfast? My family and I own and operate a Comfort Inn. We offer a free continental breakfast: coffee, toast, bagels, frozen waffles (you just pop them into the toaster), apples, bananas and a lemon cake that we cut up into small slices. Frequently we have people who take it upon themselves to take way more than they need. We can understand someone taking a bagel to go for later in the day but these are guests who will take 15 extra plates, half a loaf of bread (I kid you not, just empty out the sack onto a plate and then take fifteen to twenty small packets of peanut better and/or cream cheese). My mother believes that we should place some carefully worded sign next to breakfast in the hopes that people will be considerate of others as well as management and only take what they will eat. Too often people take because they assume they have a right to take. How could we word such a sign without insulting the guests or make them feel like we're being rude? [more inside]
posted by Fizz on Jul 11, 2010 - 101 answers

How to ask a prickly question about wedding gifts?

Prickly wedding etiquette question: We got married a little ways back, had a wonderful wedding, an unforgettable honeymoon, and are now back in the real world again. We're ready to sit down and write our thank-you cards, and have run into a slight... hiccup. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2010 - 43 answers

Dealing with negative responses to 3rd pregnancy

What's the best way handle negative responses to the news that we are expecting our third child? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 12, 2010 - 50 answers

I'm so bad with death.

Calling Ms. Manners: whats an appropriate thing to say when a co-worker's parent has died? [more inside]
posted by jak68 on Apr 6, 2010 - 31 answers

Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time

Was I being a jerk/untoward with this girl? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2010 - 33 answers

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