Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with man

Should I Man Up?

simpleton — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:39:02 -0800

Should I Man Up? I've been struggling for a long time about what it means to be a man.

I feel like there are two sides to my personality:

A) Very supportive, sensitive and emotional. I guess this is my feminine side -:-))
B) Rough, Determined, tenacious, calm and strong under difficult conditions.

Personality A is more the norm for me.
Personality B rarely comes out - only when difficult conditions arise.

I didn't really have good male role models growing up. Dad was never around, etc.

I kind of see some movie stars as the "ideal" but that's not really realistic for me I think. Think James Bond or Tom Cruise, etc.

Ideally, I don't want to change my maleness but with Personality A, I notice that people take advantage of you much more often. They feel like they can get away with things.

I'm a patient person. So I give people second chances.

However, I think people (women especially) see this is a weak character in men. Let's say someone you trusted doesn't pay back 50 bucks and you try to get the money back but your aren't really aggressive about it. I would normally talk to the person and if they didn't pay me back I wouldn't hang around them very much or at all. But that's typically seen as weak, at least to one person I know.

I like Personality A better but I'm starting to think more and more that its not good to show it except with your very closest people.

But even then, I've betrayed more than once by the closest people.

I think people (close or not close) respect Personality A more.

I feel so confused about what a man should be in this day and age.

This isn't about trying to pick up girls or anything. There is a lot of material out there focusing on that.

I'm just trying to figure out characteristics that a man should have in this day and age and how to get them.

Any role models today (or past) that are relevant?

Help me find an Artie, The Strongest Man In The World Shirt for Halloween!

PetiePal — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:09:17 -0800

I want to be Artie the Strongest Man in the World from the Adventures of Pete and Pete 90s Nickelodeon show....BUT I can't find a shirt that is anything close HELP! So for many years now I've wanted to go as Artie, the Strongest Man In The World from the Adventures of Pete and Pete. I've got red tights and the glasses all set but I'm having a LOT of trouble locating a shirt that will work.

-Shirt should be long-sleeved
-Blue and Red alternating stripes would be *ideal*!

I've searched all over the web and all the forum discussions or related material links to broken sites/items etc. I really don't want to do a "ghetto" shirt where I take a red shirt and put blue tape in stripes on it or vice versa...I want it to be vintagey like the show.

Help me Hivemind!

poor man's paper shredder

Eiwalker — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:25:10 -0800

I need a poor man paper shredder alternative. Supposing I'm too cheap to buy a paper shredder, what's my best alternative? If it helps, I have a grill in the backyard, but I don't want to burn sensitive documents using a fire starter solution that might fizzle out.

Gifts of an "Adult" Nature

Diagonalize — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:40:26 -0800

What kind of stuff does a 20-something "grown-up" not know he needs/wants? No surprise, my boyfriend's birthday is coming up. He's turning 27, and his parents have been needling him to add things to his wishlist. Gifts are a big deal in his family, and the Amazon wishlist has been a crucial part of that for years. In the past, his list was populated almost exclusively by video games and the occasional movie, but lately, he's been trying to move towards a more grown-up selection. Well, that's super, but when he sits down to try to add "grown-up" stuff to his wishlist, he gets this panicked, "deer in the headlights" expression. I know there are plenty of things he likes/wants, but he has no idea where to start.

Him: scruffy, quiet, socially-capable, 27-ish, physicist

Likes: adventure/RPG video games, reading political and science blogs, puzzles (a la MIT Mystery Hunt), food (eating, not cooking), and Philip Seymour Hoffman films

Dislikes: mushrooms, Will Ferrell movies

Mostly clueless about: fashion, cars, power tools, professional sports, fine wine/booze, and any music other than classical or showtunes

Clearly, he's not a guy's guy, and I've had little luck finding a "manly, but not too manly" guide that wasn't just all gadgets. We'd love to point his family in the right direction, but with the lone exception of an iPhone, his wishlist looks about the same as when he was 14 (video games and Star Trek). He doesn't want to be viewed as the eternal teenager, so what do you want/need when you're "all growed up"?

I want a physical thing, no more, no less

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:32:52 -0800

How do I identify and meet women interested in a one night stand? For the past few years, I've found myself in a number of relationships where my partners don't want to have sex. They'll do everything to remain technical virgins (oral, mutual masturbation, etc.), but penetrative intercourse is out. For some reason, I seem to keep meeting these sorts of women when I go out looking for a girlfriend.

At this point, I'm single and ready to have some fun. I've been thinking of going to bars and other places where I might meet women who are interested in a purely sexual relationship.

My questions are:

1. How can I tell if a woman is interested in having a one night stand?

2. Where can I meet women who are interested in only a sexual relationship? For example, does craigslist Casual Encounters actually work?

3. If I suspect a woman may be interested in a one night stand, then how can I proposition her for this?

If you need to follow up, throwaway e-mail is mansextonight at gmail.com.

Car fuse poor man rig up

Eiwalker — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:29:26 -0800

How to turn my car's dome light off w/out pulling out the fuse. I've got a car -- a van, actually -- whose interior lights won't turn off unless I pull the fuse out. If I pull the fuse out, my power windows don't work either. But it's a hassle to keep putting the fuse in and out. Furthermore, I cant afford to fix it right!

For under $5 or so, I'd like to rig something up where I can have a switch -- say, in the ashtray compartment -- such that flipping the switch on is equivalent to putting the fuse in, and flipping the switch off is equivalent to pulling the fuse out.

I need five things:

1. switch
2. wire
3. fuse (to hook up SOMEWHERE along the wiring)
4. MYSTERY DEVICE to hook the fuse up with the wiring
5. MYSTERY DEVICE that plugs in where the fuse used to plug in

I'd like help with (5) and (4) for sure, and possibly (3) if you think a different kind of fuse would be easier to install.

Thank you!!

Are those gosh durned kids really having as much free love as the Tv says?

reenum — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:24:24 -0800

How accurate are the media portrayals of young people engaging in risky sexual behaviors? Recently, I've noticed that a lot of media outlets seem to be sensationalizing the sexual practices of people in their teens and 20's. These sources would have you believe that these groups are always 'hooking up', they prefer oral sex to kissing, and that now engage in sexual activity first and date if the experience is positive. Things along those lines.

I'm 30, so I was a teen in the early 90's. I find it hard to believe that sexual mores have changed all that much in the last 15 years. Obviously, I don't get much action, so I can't speak from experience. Have things really become as open and free as the media would have us believe?

Are there any studies or news stories that give statistics of how prevalent sexual activity and risky sexual behaviors are in teens and twentysomethings? Anecdotes are also welcome.

Am I doomed to be a doormat forever?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:24:56 -0800

Are relationships a zero sum game? Is there such a thing as a happy compromise? I'm a 30 year old male. Last year, I got out of an engagement. I thought I loved this girl, and was willing to do what it took. The main issue we had was with religion. She's Catholic, and I'm not. I first agreed that our kids were going to be Catholic. I don't care much about religion, so I agreed because it was important to her. It was a slippery slope from there. I finally put my foot down when she tried to make me go to church with her and any future kids. When I told her that I felt like I was the one compromising, she said, "I'm not sure I'm ready to compromise."

Before that, I was in another long term relationship. My GF was very passive aggressive and manipulative. Whenever I disagreed with her view, she would pout or try to get me to go along with her way of doing things. Again, I felt like I was doing all the compromising to make our relationship a happy one.

I've recently been thinking that maybe relationships are zero sum, in that there has to be a winner and a loser in every interaction. That's what I've known, and being willing to work things out seems to have caused nothing but heartbreak and resentment on my part.

To all the MeFi'ers out there, I ask you this: What have I been doing wrong in my relationships? Are all my exes just crazy or is there something I'm not doing correctly?

I'd like this to remain anonymous because I'm interested in a girl who reads MeFi and I don't want her to get wind of this issue.

I've set up a throwaway e-mail at weirdrelations at gmail dot com for follow ups.

I'm not the man I used to be...

sam and rufus — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:45:15 -0800

How long will it does it take for all the cells in my body to die then regenerate? The question I am really asking is from a specific point, say, NOW, how long will it be before my physical body is composed of a completely new set of cells?

Any books out there that give advice about dating a divorced mother?

bcredrabbit — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 07:44:24 -0800

Any books out there that give advice about dating a divorced mother? A few weeks ago I met a really nice woman on eHarmony. We have a lot in common and have seemed to hit it off well. Everything is going great so far, and I want it to continue to go well. She is a few years older than me, has a 1.5 year old son, and was divorced 6 months ago (separated two years ago) after a seven-year marriage. Obviously, these factors create additional considerations that make dating a little bit different than dating a woman who does not have a child and was never married. I've found a few websites that talk about how to date a divorced woman/mother, but nothing great and no books that address the topic. There are a lot of books for women that want to date after divorce, but nothing that I can find about how to date a divorced mother/woman. Any books/other resources that address this topic? Furthermore, if these books approach the topic from a Christian perspective, that would be even better. Thanks.

The Falling Man

comatose — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:11:15 -0800

Where can I find/purchase a high res picture of Richard Drew's picture called The Falling Man?

That weird mega man dying video on youtube

PowerCat — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:12:56 -0800

I remember a year ago this strange, japanese video on youtube that featured mega man dying. It was all him dying of the stupidest things, all the ways you can die and some stuff added from the "otaku" scene or whatever. It might have been either a cartoon or the actual game. I'm pretty sure the okkusenman song was playing it the background...
I'd really like to watch that video right now, but haven't saved it...
Thanks!

Why doesn't the rug match the drapes?

reenum — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:36:34 -0800

Why do some people's hair on their head and pubic hair not match in color? First off, I'm excluding people who have their hair colored. I know why their hair doesn't match.

I've known women who had dirty blond hair and had black pubic hair. Others I've spoken to have shared the same thing. Given that hair should be the same all over, why is pubic hair sometimes a different color than the rest of your hair?

Can you identify this short story about a kitten found during breakfast?

maudlin — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:26:47 -0800

This question about eggs reminded me of a short story I read years and years ago. It features a kitten and breakfast. The story was in an old collection for high school students I found in a secondhand shop, probably published in the 1960s at the latest. A fussy, stodgy middle-aged American man is sitting down to breakfast, which should usually consist of a perfectly soft-cooked three minute egg, but it's interrupted by his wife's discovery of a forlorn kitten under a bush in the backyard. Man's comfortable life is turned upside down when his wife adopts the kitten and is completely distracted (burnt toast and hard-cooked eggs!) but he eventually warms up to the kitten. The kitten is not eaten.

I can't remember anything else about the story, but it would be nice to find it. Any ideas?

yes or no ?

sgt.serenity — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 18:02:49 -0800

does gillian anderson have a cameo role in yes man ? the scene where jim carrey books the airline tickets 3/4 way through - the ticket attendant looks like gillian anderson to me, another person disagrees - here is a wee snap - of course if you disagree with me, i wish you all sorts of terrible things.

Can you still talk about "The Fall of Man"

creasy boy — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 10:20:34 -0800

The use of the word "man" as a stand-in for humanity, in academic writing -- what's the final verdict? I do a lot of proof-reading for non-native speakers and I always get stuck on this point. Right now I've just found a sentence approximately like this: "Consequently, I will approach these problems from the perspective of a philosophical anthropology rooted in a conception of man as a tool-user". I feel that no other formulation will sound as good; "conception of humanity as a tool-user" is off-putting, "conception of humanity as tool-using" is awkward, "conception of humans as tool-users" just isn't as literary, and I don't like "conception of the human as a tool-user" either. But I have the feeling that I'm not allowed to let "man" stand because it's sexist. Do I have to change this, or is "man" still allowed? And how about "mankind"?

How to watch EPL in Cyprus

daveyt — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:42:07 -0800

Where can I watch Man Utd on Wednesday night in Nicosia? I think I'm in the Hilton in Nicosia on Wednesday night this week, willing to take a taxi ride to a decent bar if necessary. Just want to watch Man U vs Newcastle. Any ideas? Never been to Cyprus, on a short business trip. Hoping for some local advice. I'll buy you a pint/ here if you're around!

Burly Guy Baby-Talking His Cat

mickeefynn — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:06:32 -0800

I'm looking for a video of a commercial I saw a few years ago. I can't even remember what product it was pushing. But it features a big burly guy, laying on the floor on his back, baby talking to his kitty. Saying something like,"WHO's got the pretty little mustache? Who's the mustache man?... Is it YOU?! Is it YOU!?!" He's discovered in this compromising pose by his macho buddies. Any ideas??

Ain't got no grammar

Grlnxtdr — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:25:05 -0800

I am married to a wonderful (black) man who sometimes has terrible grammar (sliding into ebonics). Should I continue to correct him, even though technically, he knows the proper way to say things or should I stop nagging because it will never work? I am married to the most awesome man, who treats me like gold. He is very intelligent in many ways and went to college, but often his grammar goes into the toilet. This gets on my very last nerve, since 1) I know he knows this bugs the hell out of me 2) He can speak very well when he wants to 3) It makes him sound not as smart as he truly is.

He is from North Carolina, I am from Maine, so this isn't about accents. I am just seriously perturbed when he goes into ebonics and he would argue with me to the death about it being an actual dialect.

My argument is this: Beyond the obvious of it making him sound like an uneducated thug, we live in Maine where it is 96% whites and there are a lot of racist people here, unfortunately. If we are supposed to be the ambassadors of bi-racial couples around here, I would prefer if he not make some kind of statement to them that in any way could be considered negative. I am VERY sensitive to the racism I now experience daily, and I would like to minimize this as much as possible.

His argument is that much like the word "n*gger" and how black people say this to each other, ebonics is a way for black people to have their own way of communicating. They don't talk white because they aren't white. He also points out, correctly, that I married him knowing he uses slang and often retorts, "Okay Teacher" or "okay, judge Judy".

Am I just being a picky nag, who should respect his way of talking, or should I continue to correct him, in hopes that his grammar will improve with *gentle reminders?

* gentle meaning I say, "you what?" or "what did you say?" or "I don't understand that slangy shit"

Non-Pornographic Neutrally Posed Naked Men?

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:10:25 -0800

I am looking for non-pornographic nude photographs of men, neutral pose, front and side views, but the signal v. noise ratio has prevented me from turning anything up. Ideally, there would be photographs of men at differing ages, of differing body types, and of differing nationalities. I have tried using Google, and I have looked at "art" books of photographs; with both, I've not been able to find anything that isn't erotica targeted towards gay men. The purpose for which I'm seeking this is similar to the author's purpose for this book.

Short story - man buries money under a tree

Mapes — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:28:12 -0800

What is the name of the story in which a man buries stolen money under a sapling, ends up buying the house next door, and years later tries to retrieve the money only to find that the neighbor has already taken it and left newspaper clippings? I think I read this twenty-five years ago and only recalled it today. Has anyone else heard of it?

Urutaraman Sebun!

DecemberBoy — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:10:38 -0800

Please tell me all the details about the origin of and story behind the "Okkusenman" song/video, all you Japanophiles/people living in Japan out there. Basically, some Japanese person or people took the Dr. Wily Stage 1 theme from Mega Man 2, wrote lyrics to it, and turned it into a really great song about nostalgia for the innocence of childhood. There are two versions: a hard trance version with female vocals (my favorite), and a rock version with male vocals. The rock version appears to be the original, but I'm not sure. There are also cover versions with different lyrics. So what I want to know is:

What are the names of the artists for both versions?
Did the songs come first, or did the videos? Is it purely a YouTube phenomenon? Were the the songs released on physical media? Before or after the videos?
What is the significance of "110 million"? Or "Ultraman Seven" (I know he's a character in the "Ultraman" series of TV shows)?
Or any other details you might know.

Any information in English I can find is repeated in this post, so anything else you can tell me would be appreciated.

I need Math People to help me find out how long it takes 2 Last (Wo)Men on Earth to meet.

mr_book — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:36:34 -0800

How long should it reasonably take before 2 "Last Men on Earth" meet? I'm writing a story about a post-apocalyptic mathematician, something to do with zombies. Any such character would naturally be inclined to work the following problem in such a situation. My difficulty lies in myself having very few mathematical skills (2 +2 is four, heh heh heh, me smart). So, Hive Mind, assist me!

Question: Assuming that there has been a global catastrophe of Hollywood proportions and most of the human race has died off (or become zombies, etc), and assuming that any lone survivors will, eventually, come to think of themselves as the "Last (Wo)Man on Earth" in the Richard Matheson vein, and assuming a slow rate of travel among these LMOE, how long will it take before 2 LMOE meet, and how many LMOE are there on Earth in total?

Assumption 1: Most of the human race has died off. Let's assume that 99.99% of the global human population is gone, just so we have something to work with.

Assumption 2: Lone survivors come to believe themselves as the Last Man on Earth. Let's assume that it takes 3 months of being alone to come to this assumption. This assumption is contingent on not seeing another -living- human being during this time, so we can expect city dwellers to have a margin of error here leading them to come to this conclusion later than their rural or islander counterparts, being as there should (at first) be more survivors in cities. However, they can't be considered LMOE unless they end of alone, so it may take some time for their fellow survivors to die off and thus the margin of error. If their fellow survivors never die off, they can't be considered LMOE. Let's say any group of survivors has a half-life of 1 week, and no group can begin with more than 8 survivors.

Assumption 3: A slow rate of travel among the LMOE. Let's say, for the sake of the problem, that half the LMOE are home-based and half are travel-based. Home-based LMOE stay within their little "fortified zone" of about 5 square miles (gathering supplies, killing zombies, and waiting out the storm going slowly insane). Travel-Based LMOE move slowly (at about 5 miles per day) due to travel hazards such as zombie hordes, traffic blocks, fires, etc. They're determined to find other survivors and thus keep themselves from madness.

Hidden Assumption 4: The game begins on Day 0. Day 0 is the day when the travel-based LMOE begin moving, the home-based LMOE start gathering supplies, and city-based groups of survivors begin dying off down to single LMOE.

How many days will it take before any 2 LMOE meet?

I realize I am not a mathematician (I am in fact, and English major and the opposite of a mathematician), and so any data that needs to be filled in, altered, or deleted should be in order for the problem to be solved.

Cheers.

Mmmm. Xiao lung bao

PWA_BadBoy — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:32:42 -0800

Where can I get a copy of Jeffrey Steingarten's Beijing Restaurant Guide? I found it a few days ago off Google but now it appears Vogue online has pulled the PDF file (previously here.

Now that the powerthirst has worn off..

bradly — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:24:58 -0800

Help a college student find a (simple) no-frills man bag! I like the mini bag here, but am looking for more ideas before I make the jump.

What I like:

Artsy
Original designs/unique artwork
Vintage (or vintage-esque)
Small size (less than messenger bag)

What I don't like:

Synthetic woven materials
Shiny leather
Plastic buckles

I have seen some South American woven bags around that fit these characteristics, but what can you recommend?

Thanks!