Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with maidofhonor

My maid-of-honor invited her parents without my permission

salvia — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:18:15 -0800

Asking for desjardins: My maid-of-honor (MOH) invited her parents to the ceremony, which is fine since they can watch her young son, but she also asked if they could stay for the dinner, and share her hotel room (which I'm paying for). I reluctantly said OK, but I'm wondering if I should ask for recompense from the parents? [This question is being posted for desjardins]

Other factors: She's been estranged from her parents for awhile and they've barely seen their grandson. This is one of their few opportunities since she lives 1000 miles away. They're picking her up from the airport, which means one less thing for me to do. They're also watching her son while she stands up in the ceremony and during the reception. He's 3, so there's a good chance he'll, um, act like a typical 3 year old.

We had a cancellation of 2 people for dinner, so her parents essentially take their spot. They're not really coming for the wedding; none of us get along and I haven't seen them in 15 years, so I wouldn't count on a gift from them. They're not going to know anyone else except my parents (barely). I think it's rude to ask to come, but my MOH phrased it as "Well, I guess they could take [son] to Burger King while we eat [really fancy] dinner." It was manipulative but it worked.

Am I wrong to be upset? Is there any tactful way to ask for recompense for either the dinner or the hotel room? (The dinner is $150/plate, the hotel room is $200). Should I just let the whole thing go and chalk it up as a gift to MOH (my gift was going to be paying for her dress and hotel room)?

I'll be unlikely to check Metafilter after 10 am CST on Saturday, so any further answers can be sent to zenparadox2@gmail.com.

Does the bride have to open shower gifts at a shower?

tastybrains — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:08:44 -0800

Does the bride have to open gifts at her bridal shower? I am my sister's maid of honor and trying to throw her a somewhat unique shower. She is not into the usual frilly tea-party with cheesy games and opening gifts, and so I've decided to throw it at one of her favorite restaurants (and the location of her first date with her fiance!), which is a hip BBQ / jazz restaurant.

I think that this will wind up being more of a meal out / party for everyone without the time or space to do things like open gifts. Is this a bad idea? Will guests be offended if the gifts aren't opened at the shower? My sister will be delighted not to open gifts at the shower - she wants a shower, but hates opening gifts in front of people.

P.S. Just to pre-empt the Miss Manners crap of how sisters shouldn't throw each other showers, I think that's b.s. as I'm the maid of honor, so I'm throwing the shower along with the other bridesmaids. Also, if you want to get technical, we're not even blood relatives - we're step sisters (even if we do look related).

Maid-of-honor duties

Zosia Blue — Tue, 01 Nov 2005 15:19:06 -0800

Help me be a fabulous maid-of-honor for my best friend's wedding. I've only been to two weddings in my life (both as an audience member and not in the party), and I have zero extended family, so I'm new to the whole wedding circuit. I'd really like to be a fantastic maid of honor and make the day and the weeks proceeding as special as possible for my best friend. She's definitely not opposed to me asking her outright what she'd like in terms of maid-of-honorish stuff, but I'd really like to have some element of surprise in there.

Some background on her, to make answering easier: the wedding is going to be super low-key, which is indicative of my best friend and her husband-to-be. She's not a girly-girl, but I know she does want some sort bachelorette party and a wedding shower. She doesn't want the typical things and she isn't a bar person or a big drinker (though she isn't opposed to a few fruity, pretty-colored drinks). She's a stage manager for local theatres, loves crafty-type things and has a great sense of style/taste in clothing and decoration.

So, I suppose main questions are: what's the timeline on things like wedding showers and bachelorette parties? What are the usual expectations of the maid of honor on the day before and the day of the wedding? What are some creative ideas for a bachelorette party?

If it matters, this is an outside wedding next July. We're both in our mid-20s and live in Minneapolis. I am on a limited budget, but I'm open to all suggestions. Thanks in advance!