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On to the next chapter, onward and upward!

So I'm moving and getting roommates, any advice from the green on how to move forward with my life? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Sep 19, 2014 - 14 answers

Help me find perspective, is my relationship half-full or half-empty?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now, but it seems like we can't seem to find a good "groove". We're satisfied in the relationship for a while and then we get into petty fights and don't resolve them. I thought I was happy with him and really enjoyed his company. However, it's been more and more stressful and I need help figuring out if I've checked out for a while, or if the relationship has run its course. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

President of the First Girlfriend's Club

How do I NOT be a starter girlfriend? I'm 28, genuine, friendly, have hobbies, a great career, but for some reason, my relationships keep ending. I know, I know, is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2014 - 33 answers

Intelligent resources about stages of a long-term relationship

I'd like to learn a little bit more about what couples counselors, therapists, and psychologists have written about the stages that long-term relationships go through, what the issues and concerns are in the different stages, and what approaches are helpful in keeping the relationship strong at different stages. The articles I've been able to find on the web are pretty shallow, and seem to assume that the purpose of marriage is to have kids. I'd like to find something that is more appropriate to a couple who got married at 40+ so have already attained (presumably) a certain degree of wisdom, and for whom kids are not in the picture or in the cards. Authors that I have found helpful and intelligent in the past have been Gottman, Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight), and the author of perennial AskMe favorite The Five Love Languages. I'm specifically interested in the 5-10 year stage, but welcome broader surveys as well.
posted by matildaben on Jan 29, 2014 - 5 answers

How to best support my partner with a stressful academic job?

I'm in a LTR and my partner is unhappy in her academic job and considering a major career change. How can I best support her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2014 - 11 answers

how much detail need one give about their sexual history?

In my past, I was very experimental. Now I'm wondering how much of that I'm obligated to tell my SO. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2013 - 48 answers

It's over, now what?

4 months ago, I (a woman) broke up with my boyfriend of over a decade. The breakup came out of the blue, and neither of us were prepared for the aftermath that comes with dissolving a household. Things are still not completely done, and I feel like they need to be so that I can actually start to move past that chapter in my life. On the other hand, I've been avoiding dealing with these issues for months because of how my ex lashes out at me every time he gets the chance. I need some help formulating a plan to get it all done and stay sane in the meantime. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 12 answers

Who should be responsible for my ex-wife's birthday gift?

I've been divorced for several years now. My ex-wife and I get along amicably. I am single and she has been involved in an LTR since the divorce became official. Everything's fine, everyone's happy. Our kids are thriving.My ex-wife's birthday is in three weeks and up until now I've been the one to coordinate helping the kids get her something for her birthday. It occurred to me that it's probably time for the New Guy to take this over, right? They're not engaged, he still has his own place, but he does spend a lot of time there in your standard domestic situations. I have no problem discussing this with my ex, I'm just looking for a sanity-check on this idea before I bring it up. Am I missing something? Is this even a good idea? (For the record, I am single and she will probably be responsible for my birthdays (vis-a-vis the kids) for the forseeable future.)
posted by Setec Astronomy on Feb 8, 2013 - 20 answers

Help me come up with “exciting” and “pleasant” experiences for us to do together as a couple.

Help me come up with “exciting” and “pleasant” experiences for us to do together as a couple. [more inside]
posted by booksandwine on Dec 14, 2012 - 22 answers

Remind me to text "I love you."

The "jazz up my marriage" app -- what's it called and where do I get it? [more inside]
posted by spunweb on Nov 30, 2012 - 4 answers

I feel trapped from being too different?

Pretty sure I don't want to get married or have kids. Problem is, almost all my friends are doing so and it's just getting to the point where I am the only one who isn't doing either of those (not a bad thing).Help me not go crazy if I hear one more person say the words 'I'm engaged" or "I'm pregnant". [more inside]
posted by Autumn89 on Oct 30, 2012 - 55 answers

Puzzling relationship pattern

General relationship pattern question about the end of limerance as well as some specifics, with some concerns about monogamy/nonmonogamy. Somewhat long. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Oct 3, 2012 - 16 answers

How to stay when it hurts like I'm already gone

How do you stay in a relationship when you know there's a very good chance it might end soon? [Siberian winter's worth of snowflakes inside.] [more inside]
posted by Sockmaster on Sep 17, 2012 - 42 answers

"Do you take this man...?" Probably not.

How do I figure out if I want to get married, without, you know, getting married? I feel like I need to figure this out, because I'm at an age that a lot of guys I date definitely *do* want to get married, and I don't want to waste their time. [more inside]
posted by peacrow on Aug 13, 2012 - 41 answers

Seeing a guy who is moving at the end of summer. Had sex on first date. Should I continue things or terminate entirely?

The quick and dirty: I'm seeing a guy. We slept on the first date, he brought up dating exclusively and we were both in earnest, mutual agreement that neither of us were looking for a FWB type of deal. Caveat: He's moving at the end of the summer. How best to proceed? Details behind the cut to fill in the blanks... [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on May 24, 2012 - 22 answers

For my own sanity/happiness I have to end a LTR, need help

For my own sanity/happiness I have to end a LTR, like TODAY - I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2012 - 67 answers

She wants to be EXCLUSIVE? What a weirdo!

I feel like a freak for wanting a long-term relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 31 answers

Am I subconsciously trying to destroy my LTR?

Am I subconsciously trying to destroy my LTR? (Long) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2012 - 66 answers

The spark has gone please help me find it.

The spark has gone, and I want it back before I break his heart. Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2012 - 18 answers

I am looking for suggestions to help break some unhealthy patterns in my relationship.

I am looking for suggestions to help break some unhealthy patterns in my relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2012 - 22 answers

How do I teach my husband to seduce me?

How do i teach my husband how to seduce me? maybe a book or something? NSFWish [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2011 - 16 answers

More past indiscretions have come to light - should I be bothered, or let it go because we've worked on moving past that?

Should I forgive infidelity because we were long distance?? [more inside]
posted by yummywaffles on Sep 27, 2011 - 26 answers

I love you, you're perfect, now change.

How do I deal with my partner drastically changing his appearance in response to his baldness, and the way it affects my attraction to him? [more inside]
posted by Vinegaroon on Aug 19, 2011 - 18 answers

Sitting on this fence is getting uncomfortable. Shove me.

I'm in a very long-term relationship and am unhappy. However, I don't know whether that's because my expectations are too high or because I am in a legitimately flawed relationship. Should I stay or should I go? Hope me, Hive-Mind - give me the outside opinion (Advice? Anecdotes?) I need to free myself from my crippling inability to decide. A blizzard of snowflake detail inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2011 - 40 answers

How to make this long distance relationship work?

Long distance relationship: How can we make it work? How can we work it out so that we both feel fulfilled? [more inside]
posted by thegmann on May 29, 2011 - 21 answers

Making love at midnight

Please tell me your sex hacks? [more inside]
posted by lover on May 7, 2011 - 15 answers

Tired of being the kibble that's always there; time to turn into a laser pointer!

My boyfriend and I live together, and the relationship is great, but things have gotten very 'comfortable'. I think it's time to take everything he thinks he knows about us and turn it upside-down (in a good way)! How though? [more inside]
posted by Sa Dec on Apr 20, 2011 - 40 answers

Savage Inequalities?Sex& Menopause

Savage Inequalities? Menopause and Erotic Intimacy. I have skimmed many AskMes and haven't seen quite this combination. Dan Savage is often touted and cited, but this combination is not well covered. What do Mefites and others do when their sex life is on indefinite hold due to their female partner's menopause? What if polyamory is off the table? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2011 - 9 answers

I love him. But can we still do this?

How can you tell for sure whether you are still in love with someone? How hard should I try to find out? [more inside]
posted by Julia F***ing Sugarbaker on Jan 11, 2011 - 31 answers

regarding polyamory

Regarding polyamory and potentially breaking up a monogamous LTR. A question for a friend. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Jun 28, 2010 - 15 answers

Special snowflake has quarter-life crisis, seeks relationship advice

I'm a terrible person navigating uncharted waters. What should I do now? Copious special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2010 - 32 answers

Bachelor party lap dance

My guy is going to a bachelor's party. Help me stop feeling unhappy about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2010 - 91 answers

Why does the idea of sex make me so uneasy?

How to overcome feelings of sexual inadequacy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2010 - 15 answers

The job offer, the boyfriend, and the dilemma

I'm considering a great job offer in another state, and what it might mean for my two-year relationship. Help me develop a framework for making some decisions about all this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2009 - 15 answers

Love After Sex

So what's next after sex in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by symbollocks on Feb 16, 2009 - 26 answers

Tell me about your experiences with love.

When it comes to love . . . where's the line between deserving to have certain expectations fulfilled, and having standards that are too high? In particular I'm curious to know if you ever ended a relationship with someone you were in love with, and then went on to fall in love with someone else in a deeper and more enriching way. [more inside]
posted by lblair on Jan 11, 2009 - 21 answers

Hurt me baby... no, not you...

I have recently had the best sex of my life, and I finally know what it is that turns me on - pain. The problem is that this sex was not with my partner of ten years (well, she was there...). I don't know what to do about this. In-depth details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2008 - 14 answers

Gay BF in NYC

What's the best way to find a boyfriend (gay) / Cuddle buddy in New York?
posted by seeminglee on Jul 28, 2007 - 9 answers

Help me not frack up the best thing that's happened to me, ever.

RelationshipFilter: How much does chemistry matter over the long haul? Or, please don't tell me this is my last AskMe relationship question. (Very long, very self-absorbed more inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2006 - 37 answers

Tell me how you met your gay partner

Gay men in relationships: how did you meet your significant others?
posted by adrober on Dec 11, 2004 - 14 answers

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