1135 posts tagged with love.
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Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

Lose a good friend or try to fix it?

Is a man who pretends to be friends with a woman when he is actually interested in more than friendship doing something shady? Should said woman (myself) drop him as a friend or give him a chance to adjust? He’s a good friend and generally a positive, interesting and charming friend to have (smart, insightful, witty, capable of deep conversation, trustworthy with secrets, understanding…). I’m simply not interested in dating him (for many reasons, the most glaring of which is that he’s sexist in subtle ways that I couldn’t tolerate in a partner), but I value and love his friendship and conversation. I do not want to date him, ever. I don’t know if I should salvage our friendship or let it go, for his sake and mine...I've included the details below but I think this summary captures what I am trying to intellectually and emotionally figure out. [more inside]
posted by grassbottles on Feb 28, 2013 - 54 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

My 1st year of marriage is tough. Wife may be a workaholic. What do do?

My [possibly workaholic] wife works seven days a week as a ski instructor. I live and work two hours away during the week, and then I drive up to see her on the weekends. When I'm there on the weekends, I spend an average of four hours a week with her. Usually she is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from working so much. Needless to say, it does not feel like she is there for me. When I tell her I would like to spend more time with her, she tells me I'm too needy and dependent on her. I would like her to take off a Saturday or Sunday every week so we can spend time together. Is that asking for too much? What other requests/things can I do to make life more manageable? Thanks for your help. P.S. You get bonus points if you have worked in the ski industry and can explain how difficult it is to ask for weekends off! :-)
posted by speedoavenger on Feb 24, 2013 - 53 answers

How to Anonymously Send Grandmother Money?

How to anonymously send my Grandmother money? I love my Grandmother to pieces. She's one of my favorite people. She's the most charismatic woman I've ever known.. she just has a way with people. I watch her engage others in awe; she can disarm an utterly rigid stranger in a few seconds by simply bestowing her beautiful aura upon them. Pathetically, people have taken advantage of her throughout her entire life. I won't go into details because it's irrelevant, but her story is a sad one. Anyway I'm an adult now and I'm making a good living. I want to help her out without her knowing it's me, and for the rest of her life. She would never accept financial assistance from me so I have to be stealthy. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Feb 23, 2013 - 17 answers

Did I inadvertently tell my beau that I love him?

I gave my boyfriend a surprise gift of a list of one hundred things I loved about him for valentines day. He found it after I left his house and called to say it was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for him. I don't want to be the first to say "I love you" because I never have with any of my previous relationships and prefer a guy say those words first, but upon further reflection I am wondering if the list would count as the inadvertent equivalent of saying those three heavy words. [more inside]
posted by soooo on Feb 19, 2013 - 35 answers

Not-OK Cupid

I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

Boyfriend hates Valentine's Day

Boyfriend hates Valentine's Day and doesn't want to celebrate it. He is super loving in other ways. What should I do? Questions about your experiences inside. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Feb 13, 2013 - 75 answers

How can I make my marriage work?

Need advice to sort out my marriage after a very stressful time - very extended explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 15 answers

Can you help me, I'm loved up over someone Down Under?

How to bring a Melbourne woman a little romance from half a world away? [more inside]
posted by Callicvol on Feb 6, 2013 - 10 answers

I adore him, but find his health problems a turn off. Is there a fix?

I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 3, 2013 - 41 answers

Whats it really like, an adult relationship... minus the fantasy?

Because I am prone to bouts of idealization and sometimes don't have my feet rooted in reality, I want to hear from those who are happily married or in a committed relationship with someone with whom they plan to build a life with. I have *not one* real life example of a healthy functioning adult relationship, and although I have periods of loneliness, I can't imagine living like any of the people around me do. Are all relationships just people fitting into each others dysfunctions? Are there real ones out there that work, or is that the fantasy ideal that we all chase after and never achieve? [more inside]
posted by tenaciousmoon on Feb 2, 2013 - 18 answers

How should I talk to my boyfriend about me being unhappy with him?

We've been together almost 2 years and at first I thought he was almost a perfect match for me. We got along, he made me so happy, he's so sweet, makes me laugh, and considerate. I know that every relationships get into the comfortable phase but lately I feel like he has taken me for granted and has gotten way too comfortable to the point I'm starting to lose interest in our relationship. I no longer look forward to seeing him and want to be alone, say I love you, kiss, or anything. [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 30, 2013 - 50 answers

when to hang on, when to bail

when to hang on, and when to bail, when there is a lot of love, but also coldness [more inside]
posted by frequently on Jan 29, 2013 - 11 answers

Can something that starts out wrong turn out right? (relationship wise)

Have you ever had a relationship, that maybe not DTMFA worthy, started out pretty rocky but eventually turned in to something good and healthy? Details are appreciated. [more inside]
posted by mockpuppet on Jan 29, 2013 - 18 answers

What is the dating world actually like?

I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me. It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks on Jan 23, 2013 - 38 answers

Stupid brain, stop it.

I am done with letting limerence rule my life. Tell me your stories of conquering limerence. How did you cope? Is it even really possible to say "no more limerence" if you're prone to it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2013 - 15 answers

How to get through these next hours, these next days.

My partner just ended our relationship, what strategies can I use to get through the night and next few days? [more inside]
posted by Asherah on Jan 19, 2013 - 34 answers

How to be compassionate in an emergency

My partner's mother is on death's door and I'm struggling to find the words to be supportive as I should without being vapid and trite. He's making difficult decisions about life support against his mother's wishes, etc. An illness of my own has me bedridden and unable to be at his side. Any advice on what to say/what not to say to comfort/console/support him given the circumstances would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
posted by blue t-shirt on Jan 18, 2013 - 14 answers

Crap

My boyfriend of four months just told me he loves me. I don't love him, and I don't think I will in the future, but I do LIKE him. Now what?! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 18, 2013 - 41 answers

How to get an ex off the mind.

How much thinking about your ex is too much, and how do you control it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 13 answers

A song that describes slowly blossoming love that is held back?

What's a good song that embodies the feeling of... "you found the person with whom you want to spend a lifetime together... but you're kept from being together (not because there are other people, but other reasons)... and every day it hurts to dream about, in a sweet way." kind of like a song that would describe Jim and Pam's tentative pre-lationship in The Office season 1 on... thanks!
posted by dracomarca on Jan 16, 2013 - 21 answers

It's not you, it's me - or maybe it is you? I'm not sure.

It's been 2 months. You have a great first date with a guy from internet. Chemistry! Romance! Sexual Attraction! Best first date ever. But the female has undesirable qualities. After a few more dates the female confronts the male about his intentions. He then calls her back in a passionate telephone call and says he's willing to have a go. Sadly, he seems to not really be that into her. He then again a few weeks later reiterates his fondness for the female, despite hang ups and she's now rethinking her position. [more inside]
posted by Danithegirl on Jan 15, 2013 - 28 answers

Love and sex have never worked for me and I don't understand why.

Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2013 - 35 answers

What songs will make me want to be a better human?

I am making a "peace and love" playlist filled with songs that urge social consciousness and positive action. So far I have songs like "Man in the Mirror," "He Aint Heavy (He's My Brother)," "Get Together," "Imagine," etc. What are some good songs in that vein? [more inside]
posted by AgentRocket on Jan 11, 2013 - 62 answers

Where can I find images that are evocative of successful relationship?

I've been looking at environments, especially my home, and seeing how they impact me in terms of imagery. I'm specifically looking for images I could place in my home that are evocative of successful relationship. [more inside]
posted by diode on Jan 10, 2013 - 8 answers

Ugh...friend, more than a friend, not a friend? So confused!

My best friend and I keep having drama in our friendship because of feelings. I had feelings for him, but he says he just wanted to stay friends. I told him I needed space to get rid of my feelings so we can stay friends. But he won't let me. He keeps bringing me back into his life. Even when he said he was starting a relationship with someone else. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by impactsmoothie on Jan 9, 2013 - 55 answers

Another "One More Chance" Question

I’m considering ending my relationship. Should I give him another chance to make changes? of course it's long [more inside]
posted by Ms.Stocking on Jan 4, 2013 - 47 answers

please help me be a nice guy and still get the girl

Can the hive mind confirm that men need a dark side to seduce women ? I’m a nice guy and I’ve not been lucky in love. Have I not been lucky in love because I’m a nice guy ? [more inside]
posted by Baud on Jan 2, 2013 - 66 answers

Haven't forgotten my first love

can't forget my early love [more inside]
posted by lloubee on Dec 28, 2012 - 58 answers

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk?

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk? [more inside]
posted by tamagogirl on Dec 27, 2012 - 109 answers

How to get over a relationship that just couldn't be?

How to get over a relationship that just couldn't be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2012 - 11 answers

How do I feel better after all this?

How long is too long to still be upset about a break up? It's been 3 weeks for me as of today and while I'm approving a little bit, something is holding me back... [more inside]
posted by Autumn89 on Dec 23, 2012 - 15 answers

What are the greatest (yet most original) love affairs of all time?

What are the greatest (yet most original) love affairs of all time? [more inside]
posted by skylar on Dec 22, 2012 - 76 answers

Shy and Unlucky in Love

Help me figure out why I'm so unlucky with romance [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2012 - 26 answers

the L word

how can i learn to love myself and be more self-confident in my relationship? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Dec 17, 2012 - 9 answers

How can two people propose to each other?

My partner and I, two girls, have this slight thing bothering us when we talk about our future engagement. We both want to be proposed to. Is there a way we can make this happen?
posted by trogdole on Dec 17, 2012 - 34 answers

Help my younger cousin learn to love her skin.

How can I help my adopted cousin learn to love her skin? Have you been part of a transracial family? What did you find helpful or comforting? [more inside]
posted by turniphead on Dec 17, 2012 - 15 answers

How to communicate about our feelings?

How much should we be talking about our feelings for each other? I love him, and I think he loves me... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2012 - 9 answers

Why did you break up?

Why did you break up? More specifically, you thought you found someone you're compatible with, you guys mutually made a commitment, but yet you ended up breaking up a year or two later, or later in life. What was the reason for the breakup? [more inside]
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. on Dec 5, 2012 - 46 answers

Should I move out from my boyfriend's apartment?

Should I move out from my boyfriend's apartment, or give the live-in relationship another chance - or break up? [more inside]
posted by katerok on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

Romance with old friend

I've recently been through some major life changes and find myself feeling strong romantic feelings for an old friend, former co-worker. I fear acting on my feelings because I don't want to jeopardize our platonic friendship which, at my age (65) is precious. I worry that even talking about my change in feelings for this woman might ruin our friendship. I'm not certain that she has reciprocal feelings for me, although I think she might. We are very compatible in most regards, intellectually, shared interests and activities, etc. And the friendship just as it is is rare and cherished. Should I 'confess' and risk what we have, or accept it for what it is and look elsewhere for the intimacy I seek? As might be obvioius, I have limited experience in physical (sexual) and emotionally-close relationships.
posted by NorthCoastCafe on Dec 3, 2012 - 10 answers

Months ago, boyfriend told me he has herpes. It still bothers me. What now?

On herpes and forgiveness. Nine months into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that he has HSV-2. That was almost a year ago. It still bothers me. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2012 - 47 answers

Healthy and fulfilling expectations for a relationship

What are the healthy and fulfilling expectations of what a relationship should be and do for you? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Nov 25, 2012 - 8 answers

How do you get over the one that got away, and deal with the regret?

How do you get over the one that got away, and deal with the regret? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2012 - 9 answers

is something very wrong here ???

I have an ex who seems to be be depressed and has sent me a few emails telling me that we are all programmed by the "Source" that free will does not exist, that nothing depends on us etc and that the "Source" has decided that he would always be unhappy in love ! And that if the "Source" has decided that he would be unhappy, unaccomplished, alone then he must be happy with that decision. (He's 55, pianist/composer, not well known, gets by with the financial help of his parents., never been able to commit or live with a woman. His father is bi-polar, been hospitalised a few times for that). This is contrary to my world view, which I told him but I'm rather worried about where his mind is going. Any thoughts, help much appreciated
posted by hopefulmidlifer on Nov 11, 2012 - 21 answers

When is love actual LOVE?

When does "I love you" mean something? And is there a way to say "OMGZ I'M HAVING SUPERSTRONG LIMERENT FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU" without sounding quite that weird? [more inside]
posted by f3l1x on Nov 6, 2012 - 33 answers

Rave Filter: am I going in with the right expectations?

Rave Filter: am I going in with the right expectations? [more inside]
posted by Sine_Agraphia on Nov 5, 2012 - 27 answers

Can you really be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?

Can you really be addicted to a certain kind of sadness? Ugh...I hate that song. My boyfriend has serious intimacy issues but is trying to work on them. I feel intermittently insecure/frustrated/sad/angry and I don't know how much longer I can take it... [more inside]
posted by entropy33 on Nov 4, 2012 - 14 answers

How can I win his heart back?

please help me gain back his trust and love - i feel like i'm dying [more inside]
posted by canadiantuxedo on Nov 1, 2012 - 65 answers

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