320 posts tagged with love and relationships.
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My 8 year relationship lacks passion... should we move on?

I am in my early 30s and have been in a loving relationship for over 8 years. We live together and our lives are very intermingled. But the passion is gone, and I am beginning to wonder whether we'd be better apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 16 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

How do I know whether it's worth giving my relationship a shot?

I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Apr 21, 2015 - 67 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

How to love a fearful-avoidant partner

I've seen these questions about how to change a fearful-avoidant attachment style, but I can't find any information on how to help a partner who is fearful-avoidant feel loved and secure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 11 answers

Websites about love and self-worth/knowledge/respect/etc

I really like this website and I was wondering if you can recommend similar ones. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Feb 21, 2015 - 5 answers

Only a loser would settle for me

I can't imagine someone choosing to date me when there are people out there who are so much more successful, competent, fit, daring, worldly, and self-assured. So if someone likes me, I assume they can't do better than me, and that's a turnoff, because I'm not so great, so THEY must not be so great either. How can I get out of this mental trap? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2015 - 39 answers

Navigating a 10 Year Age Gap While Dating

Yesterday an incredible guy messaged me on Match and I can't stop looking at his profile because he seems like such a great fit for me. The only catch is that he's 10-11 years older than I am (though still in his 30s) and that's making me very leery. Am I right to be or am I being silly? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Jan 3, 2015 - 51 answers

Am I looking a gifthorse in the mouth?

I found the greatest guy when I wasn't even looking. But I'm not too long out of a relationship (10 months) where I think I really loved him (despite current man looking so much better on paper), intimacy is taking a while to grow and I just feel a bit wary and not sure I'm into him some of the time. It's been 3/4 months of dating but I'd now say we're firmly headed to relationship territory. But I don't want to stay and waste this person's time if he's not the one for me. I also don't want to throw away something which could be really special, and this person is special, but maybe I know that on paper but don't really appreciate it which doesn't seem like a good start to a relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Dec 14, 2014 - 9 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

What percentage of trans individuals are gay/queer?

I am interested in learning to what extent individuals who identify as transexual also identify as queer or homosexual. Have there been any good studies of this? I googled but could not find much - please link me to any studies/findings about the issue.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory on Oct 31, 2014 - 7 answers

Should I end it with my great companion of a SO?

I'm unsatisfied in the passion and effort in my relationship but love the companionship. We are like best friends. However, it's been so long since I've seen makeup or hair down, or her really initiating to me. Tons of details inside... thanks for your help. My frustration has been building over a long time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2014 - 88 answers

Sharing relationship problems for advice with best friend

Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 16, 2014 - 23 answers

Dealing with a love Conundrum

Should I take the leap, and take the risk, or should I just forget about it and move on? [more inside]
posted by wak5700 on Aug 31, 2014 - 11 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

Good Movies About Couples in Love

Looking for some good, non-sappy movies about married (hetero) couples in committed, loving and devoted relationships - with emphasis on devotion. Not necessarily romance, but authentic, real love between 2 people - even if and when TSHTF. They stick through it all because they have each other's back. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on May 22, 2014 - 30 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Who would i hire to research a personal life? Literally.

So I'm trying to figure out who I would hire - theoretically - to do an index or census of a personal life. I want someone who would be able to look at a life (with consent) to study it. The person would follow a subject around to determine core friends/family/contacts on a daily basis and then do research based on relationships. Then they'd objectively drill down into some key data points. - How many of the people in my life up to one relationship away (aka my brother's good friends) are married or single and for how long - How many of my past relationships are single/married and for how long Beyond that maybe some polling on specific questions about the subject from those people. So who am I looking for here? Is it a Private Investigator? A sociologist? A statistician? A life coach? Is there someone in an "I Heart Huckabees" way that you hire to do this sort of thing? Is this already a job or service someone provides and I don't know the name?
posted by rileyray3000 on Apr 7, 2014 - 5 answers

Cant. Seem. To. Move. On.

I'm 30 and female. A year and a half ago I broke up with this guy who I had been with for just as long. I didn't want to break up with him, because I loved him dearly, but I had to because he was treating me so poorly near the end. Ever since we broke up, I've been a semi wreck when it comes to anything romantic. I had an ill-advised rebound with a secret alcoholic followed by a guy who took me for a three month long ride. Meanwhile my ex got back in touch from afar (he lived in another state) this summer and started calling me every night, telling me he loved me and was open to us being together again when I moved to where he lived. But when I actually did move to NY (where he lives) not for him but to start my career in earnest, he abruptly changed his tune. Suddenly he didn't even want to be my friend and couldn't stay in touch. We last spoke a month and a half ago (we've been in very sporadic contact since I moved) and I haven't heard from him since. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Mar 30, 2014 - 26 answers

ain't 2 proud 2 beg

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We are both mid-thirties; have discussed marriage and kids and are on the same page;we live together; and things are great. Except for one thing - I initiate sex most of the time and want it more. I know the next part is not right, but, me initiating things all of the time makes me feel bad. I know it is a stereotype to expect men to be wanting to have sex more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 9 answers

"I love you" 1) What does it mean? 2) When do you say it? 3) To whom?

I'm curious. What's the normal meaning? What's your meaning? Do you have expectations associated with saying it/what expectations? My details inside. [more inside]
posted by chrysanthemum on Mar 14, 2014 - 24 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

You're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet

I can't seem to get over my ex and I'm worried that I never will. Is that possible? It feels like I'm grieving something heavier than the loss of a relationship. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Jan 5, 2014 - 30 answers

Girl of my dreams and I decided to not do long distance when shes abroad

Girl I've been dating for a few months, who is perfect for me, has left to go abroad for 10 months. We decided not to do long distance but to keep in close contact. I'm planning to visit her. I'm in this grey area where we are in an unlabeled, romantic friendship and care deeply about each other but due to distance and uncertainty of the future, we can't commit. I'm just scared we are going to lose our amazing connection and fall apart, so I need some perspective on how to keep close and be as intimate as possible in the face of this distance, and the freedom to date other people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 15 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

Should I give this another shot?

I searched for similar questions but had a hard time finding something that applied to what I think is a very specific situation. I'm trying to decide if I should attempt dating an ex, and I'm hoping the Hive Mind can help me out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2013 - 23 answers

We are "on a break". How long should it last?

My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2013 - 40 answers

Go No Contact Or Try Again - Can We Become Whole People Together?

After loosing ourselves in each other, my girlfriend and I broke up. Is it possible for two people who still get great along splendidly to recover from dual co-dependency and love loss? [more inside]
posted by GoneWhere on Oct 12, 2013 - 23 answers

Should I be the one who got away?

Two women, two very different paths in life. Is there a third option that I can't see? Excessive detail inside. [more inside]
posted by MyFrozenYear on Aug 18, 2013 - 33 answers

What is it like to have sex for the first time? Advice?

As someone with Asperger's Syndrome and that doesn't socialize much, I know virtually nothing about relationships and sex, and I never really believed that I would experience either of those. But I have finally met someone I connect with and we both want to have sex! [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 4, 2013 - 20 answers

Talking about previous relationships?

I'm curious about how people talk about their previous relationships when they're with their current partner. How do you gauge what's right to say and what is not? [more inside]
posted by turgai on Jul 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Falling in love is the easy part.

I'm looking for movies about relationships that aren't about falling in love. [more inside]
posted by ruby.aftermath on Jun 26, 2013 - 30 answers

What to do when the sickener hits?

How does one handle sudden epiphanies about relationships, the kind of ones that happen when waking one morning and completely reverse your feelings from the night before? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 27, 2013 - 24 answers

How old were you when you first genuinely fell in love with someone...

How old were you when you first genuinely fell in love with someone that resulted in a relatively lasting, satisfying relationship? [more inside]
posted by WhitenoisE on May 19, 2013 - 28 answers

Losing relationship chances due to others' interference - help?

I was recently in the situation where I met a possible new love interest but, due to interference by a mutual social group, the relationship never had a chance to begin. How common is this and how can I protect myself? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2013 - 26 answers

Still miss my ex and struggling to move on.

I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2013 - 18 answers

Completely clueless (Sigh.)

What does the process of finding a life partner look like? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Apr 30, 2013 - 45 answers

I love my girlfriend, but cannot shake this feeling.

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and am very much in love. She is bipolar and it is affecting my emotional and mental health. I cannot shake these feelings of leaving her but I know love is hard to come by. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2013 - 25 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Mar 31, 2013 - 25 answers

Will love tear us apart?

I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 4 answers

Dating when you already have feelings you never intend to act on?

I have feelings for another woman that I have no intention of ever acting on, and my current relationship seems doomed because of it. Help. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Mar 8, 2013 - 78 answers

*Arabic speakers*: Brokenhearted girl needs your translation ability

Here is the photo with the Arabic message: LINK What does this say in English? I think the girl might represent me. She looks brokenhearted, too. Thank you so much for your help!
posted by thatgirl1985 on Mar 8, 2013 - 3 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

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