I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me.
It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks
on Jan 23, 2013 -
I keep picking women who don't give as much as I feel I give and so I always end up feeling used. And because I keep picking them (even though the last one should've been enough to warn me off of the next one), I also end up feeling stupid too. Meanwhile, I've had women who've given to me the way I've given to those others, but I never seem to end up with them, even though they are exactly what I say I've wanted. How can I keep the good one and stop picking the bad ones? What is my problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 26, 2012 -
Do the strategies in "Why Men Love Bitches" really work? I'm almost at my wits end in the dating scene. I'm not clingy or anything of that sort but I could use a little help in self-preservation. Is there a proper way to use the tactics in the book w/o too much manipulation?
posted by InterestedInKnowing
on Mar 27, 2012 -
Stuck in an impossible dating dilemma: overhaul my entire self, or never have a relationship with a man? [more inside]
posted by tamagogirl
on Dec 7, 2010 -
How can I begin taking steps to get past this heartache that I've been hanging onto after falling in love with my best friend and move on to find someone who is actually emotionally available? [more inside]
posted by dorothyrose
on Jun 6, 2010 -
How can I be more relaxed, and less anxious (read: totally flipping out) about dating people I like? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2008 -
I had a short but serious relationship with someone I'd been friends with for a while, and with whom I was in love with. Now I'm not sure if he still cares for me - even though I know nothing that prevented our relationship from working out has changed yet, or if I'm just seeing what I want to see. Much Much More Inside [more inside]
posted by jonathanstrange
on May 9, 2007 -
As I look at the strewn wreckage of my past relationships and think about why the ones that seemed like "the one" never quite turned into the one, I wonder what is it that makes a man decide he wants to get married. Do men start thinking I want something more serious this time? Or does it hit them like a meteor out of the blue? Or is it (as they often claim on the 1st or 39th date) a slow slow burn (get to know ya and then 7 years later, lets move in)? Please explain the male psyche to me.
posted by zia
on Mar 19, 2006 -
Is there a book for heterosexual guys similiar to She's Not Into You
and other similar books for chicks?
posted by itchie
on Nov 27, 2005 -
ShootingBlanksFilter: I'm a single male in my mid-twenties, whom after taking a long break from the opposite sex, is getting back into the game. However, reading about
issues, and also having first-hand experience with this, I've come to realize that men do not have the same reproductive control options available to them that women do.
So now I'm considering a vasectomy. [more inside]
posted by id
on Jul 31, 2005 -