195 posts tagged with love and dating.
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¿Yo me enfrío o lo sufro?

I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship but I can't seem to stop feeling pessimistic about what our future together would look like. I'm not sure whether to stay or go and need help thinking through how to go about doing either. [more inside]
posted by deus ex machina on Sep 24, 2016 - 17 answers

At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 23 answers

help me navigate my feelings & needs in an LDR

My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

Should I Date a Younger Man?

A few weeks ago I started seeing a guy I am now completely smitten with. We met through mutual friends and it started out as a drunk hookup (hah), but the following weekend I saw him again in a sober hang out context, and we ended up both canceling our evening plans and talking well into the night. I didn’t expect to have such an intense and wonderful connection with him. I feel like he is alive in the same way that I am. We can talk about anything, and we spend a lot of time just laughing about nonsense. Like I said, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I already feel like he could be someone who is very very special in my life. [more inside]
posted by alipie on Feb 8, 2016 - 48 answers

Seeking romantic compatibility anecdata

Deep in limerence, but the first attempt at sex was disappointing. [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Jan 31, 2016 - 21 answers

GF's ex-fling offered her a job (and he's the boss)

Before we met, they had a thing. He's offered her a (admittedly amazing) job, but I'm freaking out because she'll report to him. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2015 - 48 answers

How do I resolve this internal conflict?

I am in my mid 30s and single (never been married). I have always enjoyed being single more than being in a relationship. I fact, the thought of married life fills me with dread and feels like a trap. But then I have times of feeling lonely and thinking that if I don't make an effort to meet a man and settle down soon, I will regret it one day. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Dec 9, 2015 - 32 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

Bipolar: When to tell a date

I met a wonderful man who is smitten with me, and I with him. We have been talking on the phone for two weeks (we met online), and have had four fabulous, fun dates. He expresses that he really likes me. He is 37 and I am 30. He has been married before, and I asked him why they got divorced, and he explained to me that she developed bipolar disorder I with schizophrenic tendencies about 3 years into their marriage, and she could not get stabilized. She had multiple trips to the psych ward while he was in med school, and it was really hard on him. He was studying to be an anesthesiologist and the final straw was when his wife called his residency hospital and told them he was poisoning her with intravenous drugs. Well, that would all be fine and good, except...I have bipolar II. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 5, 2015 - 24 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Permission to judge this OKCupid profile! (31F in NYC)

Hey guys! I just re-joined OKCupid a month ago and haven't received many messages. It's nerve-wracking to post my profile here, but who knows: maybe you can help! [more inside]
posted by jessca84 on Jul 19, 2015 - 51 answers

How to keep the one your with

I'm curious to know your stories, or what it is that keeps you happy in the relationship you are in? Also is it possible to grow in love with a person when you are in a happy relationship? Before I confused love with infatuation and I don't want to go through that again! [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

Was he interested or not?

An older guy flirted with me at work. I finally got a chance to give him my number but it's been awhile and he hasn't called. I'm VERY confused. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Apr 26, 2015 - 17 answers

Modern Dating/Online Matching 101, please?

For a fiction project, I need to come to a better understanding about how modern dating works, particularly with regard to Tinder. From my perspective (I'm older, I've been married a long time and I have absolutely no experience with the modern dating scene), I wonder why women might be using Tinder. Is it just for hooking up? Or do woman (or men) look to Tinder to try to meet someone for actual dating and long-term relationship? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on Mar 11, 2015 - 23 answers

Websites about love and self-worth/knowledge/respect/etc

I really like this website and I was wondering if you can recommend similar ones. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Feb 21, 2015 - 5 answers

Only a loser would settle for me

I can't imagine someone choosing to date me when there are people out there who are so much more successful, competent, fit, daring, worldly, and self-assured. So if someone likes me, I assume they can't do better than me, and that's a turnoff, because I'm not so great, so THEY must not be so great either. How can I get out of this mental trap? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2015 - 39 answers

Navigating a 10 Year Age Gap While Dating

Yesterday an incredible guy messaged me on Match and I can't stop looking at his profile because he seems like such a great fit for me. The only catch is that he's 10-11 years older than I am (though still in his 30s) and that's making me very leery. Am I right to be or am I being silly? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Jan 3, 2015 - 51 answers

Single parent dating: I want to start meeting nice men again

A long time has passed since I posted here, and a lot has happened in that long time. Quick update is that now I am legally divorced. I also got laid off last year and thankfully was able to find another great job quickly. Moved to NYC, which is a fantastic city and I went to school here so have a lot more friends here than when I was in Boston. Anyway, so I want to date. I don’t know if I want to get into a serious relationship just yet, but I just want to share my life with someone and do fun things on weekends. Where do I meet responsible, loving, educated men who would want to date me? I haven’t seen anyone in two years (since separation/divorce)… I think I should change that… [more inside]
posted by Spice_and_Ice on Dec 31, 2014 - 12 answers

Romantic Triple Threat! How to move forward?

I’ve fallen for my coworker-friend-roommate I’ve known for a year-and-a-half, and I need advice on how to escalate without it all blowing up in my face. We've roomed together (just the two of us) for six weeks, but I've been away for half that time. Also, we get along well and flirt occasionally, but I’m the worst at reading signs. [more inside]
posted by Nunipaht on Dec 28, 2014 - 46 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

Finally had the "marriage" talk with long term boyfriend

Do our expectations of when to get married one day match up? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Oct 14, 2014 - 41 answers

It's been a year and he still won't sleep with me.

I am a female and my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other about once a week for over a year. I am 27 and he is 30. I know he isn't seeing anybody else, and that he likes me. Why have we still not slept together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2014 - 50 answers

Sharing relationship problems for advice with best friend

Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 16, 2014 - 23 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 45 answers

He keeps on flaking.

Today he forgot about our date, and i am really upset because it shows that he doesn't like me right? I would love to see him more regularly, but it isn't happening. At the beginning of our relationship we were both a bit nervous and getting to know eachother, but the last couple of times have been great and we really connected on a deeper level, which is why i still want to see him, but not sure if it is worth it if he flakes. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

How can I stop looking at websites that just make me upset?

I can't stop reading PUA websites even though they make me unhappy, and I'm not sure how to deal with the effects it's having on me. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 9, 2014 - 46 answers

Help me stop becoming a man-hater/bitter ice queen

I used to be a soft, sensitive, hopeful young woman but too many knocks is making me feel hard, and it shows. I am too young to feel this way, help me figure out new thought processes to prevent this from getting worse. [more inside]
posted by DeadFlagBlues on Jun 6, 2014 - 21 answers

International dating- help me stay safe in worst case scenario

I am currently involved in a sexual/dating/subculture where international meetings are normal. Most recently, men have met me in my city and then we have planned a trip later.... And I have had a fab time with these men- they have been great fun! I am okay with meeting men for dinner in Oslo, London or Stockholm..... I have no problem hopping on a plane and meeting a man, spending a few days with him and nipping back home... but I cannot figure out how to make sure that my flight home is paid for- if something doesn't work out. Is there any way to have your flights and hotel paid for, in a way that the host can not just cancel on you if you refuse to have sex with them?
posted by misspony on Jun 4, 2014 - 27 answers

Startled by a tender moment - how much to give in?

For the past two years, I've developed an very stable and satisfying dating style that suits me for the time being - I maintain a certain emotional distance and all of my sexual relations fall very easily in the platonic category - I've thus far avoided any complications. However, I was completely startled when a friend I had expected to sleep with ended up being intensely sweet and now my system is a bit shaken up. I'm not sure how much to give in to this feeling I'm having for him. In a way, I can't remember what's normal to be feeling in these situations. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

How is chammistry formed?

Do you have any tips on how to behave on early dates to increase romantic chemistry? [more inside]
posted by Mr C on Mar 19, 2014 - 29 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

Brain and body not both in love, makes me feel bad

I have been dating a woman for just under six months that I met unexpectedly when visiting another city. She is almost perfect: smart,funny, sassy, intellectually stimulating, kind, attentive, independently minded, socially aware, positive, sociable, generous, emotionally strong and sensitive, likes and wants to have children, easy going and has great friends. She dresses well and is pretty, has a lovely smile and is healthful. We enjoy straightforward communication and are open and honest with each other. I am not very physically attracted to her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2013 - 25 answers

Help me date myself

I went through a pretty wretched breakup of a long-term relationship earlier this year and am still dealing with the ill effects. I'm not interested in dating anyone, or rather don't think I should date anyone, for a while. But I'm getting really into the idea of dating myself. Please help me come up with ideas to do that! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2013 - 21 answers

The ethics/practicalities of an older woman dating a younger male virgin

[This post contains somewhat graphic descriptions of our intimate experiences and sexual topics generally, so if you are sensitive or perhaps at work it is good to know that.] I am in my early 30s and my new boyfriend is in his mid 20s. I am the first woman he has ever dated, the third he has ever kissed and if we progress in the relationship I will be the first he has ever had sex with. He is a phenomenal human being and I can hardly believe how lucky I am to know him let alone get the chance to have a relationship with him. I am worried about a few things, however and want to weigh them carefully before proceeding any further. [more inside]
posted by telomere on Sep 16, 2013 - 36 answers

Fear and Loving in NYC

Why am I not successful in love and lust? [more inside]
posted by nob'dy on Jun 5, 2013 - 35 answers

Does waiting for someone with "issues" ever work out?

I'm in love with a guy, he has too many issues to be in a relationship right now... Has anyone ever waited for a person like this and had it work out? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jun 1, 2013 - 46 answers

Disabled dating

I'm a 23 year old recent college grad who has yet to go on his first date, let alone sleep with someone. All my life I was panned as some asexual anomaly and so the societal pressure to date that haunts so many other people well before their 16th birthday never really got to me. That is, until recently. I'm a reasonably good looking and witty guy, and yet, in 2013, it's way harder than it ought to be to find someone that's okay, on a fundamental level, with dating someone in a wheelchair. It doesn't help that a) I'm bisexual and b) have an issue with my speech where I will tend to block up/ get spastic. It's usually, though I can't say exclusively, an issue when I need to face the anxiety of meeting someone new. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on May 30, 2013 - 17 answers

Still miss my ex and struggling to move on.

I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2013 - 18 answers

Completely clueless (Sigh.)

What does the process of finding a life partner look like? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Apr 30, 2013 - 45 answers

How to date someone who is new to dating

I'm seeing a guy who hasn't done much dating. I can't tell how much of our dynamic is his lack of familiarity with dating, how much is just differences in our relationship preferences, and how much might be differences in upbringing. So what I need are some tools for figuring that out. Without using the phrase "Love Languages." [more inside]
posted by tulip-socks on Apr 23, 2013 - 45 answers

Friendship non-romance dating question

I met this guy who approached me on an internet dating site (I am guy as well). I didn't find him physically attractive, but he seemed nice, we had a lot in common, and go to the same college, so I met up (I told him I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time and just wanted to be friend). We met twice, and had a good time (as friends). He was cool, although we really didn't click like soul mates. I'm pretty sure he's interested in something more, but I'm definitely not. He wants to get together again, but I'm really conflicted about what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2013 - 22 answers

I dated a bad boy and now I don't know how to get over him.

I recently dated this guy whom I have to admit I liked him a lot for the sex in spite of everything else I hated about him. He is your definition of a player, he is hot and cold, talks to you one weekend, and not talk to you the next. After three months of hot and cold behaviors, I have finally decided to let him go but inside I am still hurting. Any heart to heart advice? [more inside]
posted by Likeashadow on Apr 2, 2013 - 15 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

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