Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
How would you bring up discussion of marriage without scaring your partner or making them feel pressured? [more inside]
Songs about long-term, developed love - not butterflies. [more inside]
I've always known I was a little different. I have trouble remembering things from my relatively normal childhood, so it took until high school to connect the few dots I had, but after I did that, I relished in the attraction I felt for certain other men. It was exciting and made me feel as though I was part of a community with a common story. I grew up with conservative parents who I haven't been able to tell but who I suspect have an inkling, given the things they found left open on my teenage computer and my shy, sensitive nature.
I was fine with not making it a part of my identity and limited its sphere of influence to my taste in porn and online friendships. I never felt the need for a relationship- with women or men- but I enjoyed the way validation from "manly" men made me feel both emotionally and physically. [more inside]
I love my partner - we have known each other for over a decade and have been together for over five years. I am in my 30s and he wants to live together/get married and/or start a family. I have insisted we wait due to my graduate school (and later) career struggles. Now we are older and our time frame for children (if not settling down with children in mind later) is diminishing. I don't know the right thing to do - specifics inside... [more inside]
My partner's 18 year old sister wants to marry her boyfriend of one year. They both live at home with their respective parents, are not planning to pursue post-secondary school, and are financially insecure (she does not work, he works part time). They have recently converted to a fundamentalist version of a new faith, and their plan is to rely on her disabled mother who would lose her benefits by caring for them - the mother is against this but of course loves her daughter. Their religious community is encouraging them (but not offering financial aid). What can we do to support her but not her decision? [more inside]
Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story…
My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
I recently married the love of my life after dating for a year. He's a good man, really kind, wonderful to my kids and sweet to me. I don't want to screw it up but I'm also getting tired of being on my best behavior. [more inside]
Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article
online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
My relatively new boyfriend (half a year) told me he never wanted to get married or have kids. I have always wanted these things. Friends tell me that since we're still young and none of this is an issue yet, I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I can't help it. What to do? [more inside]
My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
I have fallen out of love with my husband. I want to be back in love with him, but I don't know what to do. Help? Very extended details within. [more inside]
What are reliable questions that a person in marriage therapy can ask to determine that they are probably not with the right marriage therapist and should try someone else? Put another way, how can a person in marriage therapy know that the match with the therapist is a bad fit, as opposed to the problem being with the patient himself/herself? [more inside]
I've been in a relationship for 3 years, waiting on a proposal. I don't know if it will materialize. Lately I've been fantasizing about an ex-boyfriend who I made a marriage pact with. [more inside]
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
My [possibly workaholic] wife works seven days a week as a ski instructor. I live and work two hours away during the week, and then I drive up to see her on the weekends.
When I'm there on the weekends, I spend an average of four hours a week with her. Usually she is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from working so much. Needless to say, it does not feel like she is there for me.
When I tell her I would like to spend more time with her, she tells me I'm too needy and dependent on her.
I would like her to take off a Saturday or Sunday every week so we can spend time together. Is that asking for too much? What other requests/things can I do to make life more manageable?
Thanks for your help.
P.S. You get bonus points if you have worked in the ski industry and can explain how difficult it is to ask for weekends off! :-)
Need advice to sort out my marriage after a very stressful time - very extended explanation inside. [more inside]
Because I am prone to bouts of idealization and sometimes don't have my feet rooted in reality, I want to hear from those who are happily married or in a committed relationship with someone with whom they plan to build a life with.
I have *not one* real life example of a healthy functioning adult relationship, and although I have periods of loneliness, I can't imagine living like any of the people around me do.
Are all relationships just people fitting into each others dysfunctions? Are there real ones out there that work, or is that the fantasy ideal that we all chase after and never achieve? [more inside]
We've been together almost 2 years and at first I thought he was almost a perfect match for me. We got along, he made me so happy, he's so sweet, makes me laugh, and considerate. I know that every relationships get into the comfortable phase but lately I feel like he has taken me for granted and has gotten way too comfortable to the point I'm starting to lose interest in our relationship. I no longer look forward to seeing him and want to be alone, say I love you, kiss, or anything. [more inside]
Is this part of my quarter-life crisis? (a blizzard inside) [more inside]
I'm happily married, but it's ridiculous how much I want a good first kiss. Help me get over it! [more inside]
My girlfriend and I want to do that 'public display of commitment' thing, but we don't want to get married
. Heterosexual Civil Partnerships
are not yet available in the UK. Can we do it elsewhere with legal status? Or should we wait? [more inside]
My wife of 14 years never tells me she loves me. She never initiates sex. She never holds my hand, kisses or casually touches me. No pillow talk. No thoughtful little gifts. I do all of these things for her as often as I can.
Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!] [more inside]
Resources on how to foster passion and "have fun" with your spouse? [more inside]
I'm ending my marriage. How do I do it with kindness? [more inside]
Document checklist for a recently-married couple? What's crucial to get organized/updated in terms of legal/financial issues? [more inside]
Even though logically I don't feel like he's "marriage material," I am overwhelmed lately with a desire to be married to him. Which way should I be going on this? [more inside]
It will be three years with my partner in November. She is ready to move forward from cohabitation into marriage. She is the nicest person I have dated, we are good match, and I'm at the time in my life when I am capable of making a new family the primary priority... [more inside]
Should I marry the girl I like having sex with, or the one I like the rest of the time? [more inside]
Help me write a literary and science-y marriage "sermon" for some colleagues! [more inside]
I'm a mid-thirties man, committed relationship, wonderful kids, good job, great life, but I can not stop chasing attractive women. And it is wreaking havoc. How can I stop this, and why don't I want to? [more inside]
Have you (or someone you know well) loved someone but weren't "in love" with them (had a strong, warm, happy relationship but one that wasn't very intense, passionate, etc) and gotten married/been in a long-term partnership? Did it matter that you weren't "in love" exactly? If it led to problems, what were they? [more inside]
Two of my best friends are getting married (to one another!) and I'm putting together a book of letters, photos, advice, poems, etc. from everyone invited to the wedding. A lot of what I've found are love poems and vows written in the first person about how much the speaker loves the intended, which might feel a bit weird coming from the wedding guests. I'm looking for more general advicey-type stuff, about marriage as an institution or love in the abstract. Funny or serious; the couple are extremely happy together and have great senses of humor. [more inside]
You know marriage is not in the future of your relationship. The relationship is still good and you're still in love. How do you know when to cut it off? [more inside]
Can you honour your current partner and explore a potential relationship with someone new without
being deceitful? [more inside]
My boyfriend recently finalized his amicable divorce, but I am more wary than ever. What are the emotions one goes through after divorce and what sacrifices are required on my part? It's a little long - thanks in advance for reading. [more inside]
Please help me avoid a major marriage crisis [more inside]
How do I let people love me? Will I ever outgrow my fear of intimacy? I'm in my late 20s. I'm scared of intimacy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared of sex. Won't think twice about a threesome, but am startled by holding hands. If a guy wants to get to know me more, compliments me, or crosses the line from being sweet to me to being sweet on me, I get super flustered. I stutter or look at my feet. I run away. [more inside]
I was with my ex-wife for a long, long time. She cheated; we separated and ultimately got an easy divorce. We’ve each moved on, and I’m close to proposing to my girlfriend after about two years together. We’re a great pair. But I often feel unanchored, cast about by the knowledge that nothing lasts forever. Am I doing it wrong? Other divorced folks (esp. those on the dumped side)—what’s the path forward? [more inside]
Engaged but infatuated with someone else. Does this actually mean anything? [more inside]
Regarding polyamory and potentially breaking up a monogamous LTR. A question for a friend. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I'm looking for a short (1-2 minute) humorous wedding reading. Ideally, it's from a well-known/classic author (Mark Twain, Jonathan Swift, etc.). I'm specifically hoping to find a bit of wit, and perhaps even a little snark, but still with a happy/warm tone. The topic could be love, weddings, marriage, men & women, or anything along those lines.
The key is to have some lightness and humor in it. [more inside]
My friend has asked me to have a conversation with her about whether she should leave her husband for a new man. I have a strong view: should I tell her and can I do so in a way that is constructive? What else should I consider about the content and format of what I say? [more inside]
Should I leave my wife??? I have doubted my feelings for her from day one... story below... This is lengthy, sorry... [more inside]
What's the difference between loving someone versus "being in love" versus limerence/new relationship energy? And how important is the presence and intensity of the "being in love" feeling to having a long and happy marriage? [more inside]
My fiancee has issues with finances. How best can I help her/us in our pending marriage with respect to her general frustation with finance issues, money management, savings and debt repayment? [more inside]
DC gay marriage begins tomorrow! I happen to be registered to officiate weddings in DC, and I'd love to help out anyone who wants to be among the first to celebrate this wonderful development. Problem is, I don't know how to get the word out. [more inside]
How do I make it feel like home? [more inside]
I am in (long-term, abiding) love with more than one woman. I am marrying one, but I need to deal with my feelings for the other. [more inside]