1195 posts tagged with love.
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At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 19 answers

I'm here to stay!

In a serious relationship. Want to do something that symbolizes our commitment to each other. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Aug 9, 2016 - 15 answers

help me navigate my feelings & needs in an LDR

My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

Should I go on a trip with my relatively new partner?

I've been dating a person for three months. We booked a short trip but since the booking I learned things about how he processes conflict that concern me. We've had a good conversation since then. I'm not worried for my safety, but is this trip still a good idea? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on Jul 29, 2016 - 44 answers

Getting over attachment for long-term friend

How do I get over an unrequited love and move on emotionally/mentally? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2016 - 16 answers

how do couples argue successfully?

I've read that successful couples argue. How can I do this in productive way with my partner? [more inside]
posted by diode on Jul 2, 2016 - 19 answers

Relationship anxiety-- Unable to express my true feelings to my friend

I know it;s normal to be nervous, but my level of anxiety is too much and I need help [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 20, 2016 - 10 answers

Dealing w/ Stalkers when trying to publicize + being a Recovering Addict

I've filed a civil harassment order against a former college professor for stalking me online regularly in the last 4 years that has started to take its toll on me. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 10, 2016 - 12 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

What do you do about a love triangle?

I'm finding myself in a very complicated love triangle between my partner and our mutual friend (his best friend of many years). My boyfriend and I are in an open sexual relationship, but I believe I'm emotionally cheating on him. I have no idea what to do, or where to even begin in trying to fix this. [more inside]
posted by chocolatespaghetti on Jun 7, 2016 - 41 answers

I want them both - how to choose? (nyc vs new love)

I've got an incredibly tough decision in front of me - and I'm not sure how to even begin to make a choice. Do I choose an exciting new job and new york city, or do I choose a wonderful new relationship here? [more inside]
posted by graywoolsockpuppet on Jun 6, 2016 - 43 answers

Have you felt like this about someone?

The question of "has a slow start ever made it" has been asked many times, but I can't find something specific to a relationship I'm experiencing. We are not "dating" but I am experiencing an emotional/physical connection with someone in a profound way that makes me anxious that it's the real thing. It makes me want to run because I am not ready, but it feels inevitable. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Jun 2, 2016 - 24 answers

In a relationship but feeling empty…

I am living in a country that is quite far from mine because I got a great opportunity to work here in a newspaper. I’ve been dating a man for a year. I have feelings for him and know that he does for me too. However, I often feel shallow and full of doubts about our relationship. The first reason is that I cannot share a lot of my interests and ideas with him. I have a strong intellectual side. I like to read, discuss ideas, and learn stuff. My boyfriend is only interested in discussing gadgets, fashion, sports, and computers. I don’t mind these topics but I like more ‘intellectual’ things as well and I don’t like not being able to share them with him. I have also found out that some of his opinions are quite conservative and it bothers me because I am very liberal. [more inside]
posted by Fromthesouth on May 31, 2016 - 23 answers

Suddenly long distance, suddenly panicked

Our relationship is really great by any measure and makes me very happy... but now we're apart for the summer, and I'm stuck in obsessive anxiety about my feelings. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 6 answers

How do people overlook physical unattractiveness with romance and sex?

I do not understand how physical unattractiveness can be overlooked by people when they meet a stranger and consider them for a romantic or sexual partner. I apply this more to myself than to others. I know this is not a good viewpoint. I need help from people who see this right, as adults do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 41 answers

New relationship - how can I learn to chill the *&#! out?

So, I'm in a new relationship, we've been together about 2 months. Although I liked him from the beginning, he was slightly keener and always the one arranging dates, etc. I told him I was a slow burner, he was ok with that and happy to go my pace. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on May 2, 2016 - 9 answers

Moving to England with kids - yay or nay?

An old friend has asked my advice on moving to the UK from Denmark. I really struggle with what to tell her. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by kariebookish on Apr 18, 2016 - 19 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

My otherwise very dear friend keeps undermining me – what to do?

I've been friends with a wonderful person for over a decade. We've shared lots of our lives, and I consider her one of my closest friends. However, there's something about her behaviour that's been confusing and upsetting me for a long time. Whenever I discuss my romantic problems with her (and I've been through a fair bit recently – my past questions here might testify to that), I almost always end up feeling worse. We both had major self-esteem issues when we were younger, and I feel as though whenever I show that I'm feeling stronger these days, she tries to undermine me. Snowflakes below... [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Mar 27, 2016 - 26 answers

I want to flirt, harmlessly, online. How do I do this, where do I go?

I have the urge to flirt online. I don't want to do this via any real social channels, because those are all real people and I don't want to hurt any of them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2016 - 9 answers

Could my ethnicity play a role in my disappointing love life?

I am a 27 year old woman, and have always had horrible luck with relationships. I'm starting to wonder if my ethnicity, culture, background (Asian-Indian/Hindu) could have something to do with it? [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Feb 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Real life stories of reality overcoming limerance?

I'm looking for examples of person A pining after person B for a long time. We're talking years of building this fantasy in their head about a person they couldn't have, for whatever reason. Then A finally gets with B romantically or otherwise gets to know them well, and are disappointed by the reality of who person B is or what the relationship is really like. [more inside]
posted by atinna on Feb 23, 2016 - 16 answers

Preserving the stability I've worked so hard to achieve

After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 17, 2016 - 19 answers

How do I find out how this person feels about me?

I am confused about how someone is feeling towards me, and don't know how to get out of this ambiguous situation, but desperately need to. Please help. [more inside]
posted by muppets on Feb 12, 2016 - 25 answers

Should I Date a Younger Man?

A few weeks ago I started seeing a guy I am now completely smitten with. We met through mutual friends and it started out as a drunk hookup (hah), but the following weekend I saw him again in a sober hang out context, and we ended up both canceling our evening plans and talking well into the night. I didn’t expect to have such an intense and wonderful connection with him. I feel like he is alive in the same way that I am. We can talk about anything, and we spend a lot of time just laughing about nonsense. Like I said, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I already feel like he could be someone who is very very special in my life. [more inside]
posted by alipie on Feb 8, 2016 - 48 answers

Female friend zone

I have been close friends with this guy for about 1.5 years. We slept together and had some sort of semi-dating thing going for a couple of months when we first met. Then it fizzled out and I was more hurt by this than I anticipated. As of recently, he is now in a serious relationship. It bothers me. Time to cut the friendship? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Feb 7, 2016 - 16 answers

Love and Connection

Thinking a lot lately about love and connectedness. I posted previously about being single, now I'm looking for ways to create more love and connectedness - for myself and others. Not in a romantic sense, but in the sense of friendship and community. I'm somewhat shy and socially awkward, and cautious with people I don't know well, so this is a bit of a hurdle for me. I'm reading books and online material on the subject but it isn't always easy to translate that into everyday practice. What are examples of things that help create connection, help people feel loved and welcome? Books, online material, personal anecdotes welcome.
posted by bunderful on Feb 7, 2016 - 14 answers

Seeking romantic compatibility anecdata

Deep in limerence, but the first attempt at sex was disappointing. [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Jan 31, 2016 - 21 answers

How do I navigate the break-up with my first and only love (at age 30)

After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Jan 27, 2016 - 35 answers

How to deal with a loved family member with an addiction

My extended family always turns to me whenever there's a problem that they are having a hard time dealing with. Most of the time, I'm able to provide something based on research or I'm able to give helpful advice. This time, I need a little help. [more inside]
posted by hal_c_on on Jan 16, 2016 - 7 answers

High Risk HPV Transmission

Can HIGH risk HPV be transmitted by performing oral sex? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 7, 2016 - 6 answers

Love vs. The Bomb: Should I become a Nuclear Missileer?

I've been selected for USAF Officer Training School, as a Nuclear and Missile Operations Officer. Should I accept the opportunity? [more inside]
posted by mannermode on Dec 22, 2015 - 26 answers

Talking about sex with a partner who has Stage 4 cancer...

I really need some advice on how to talk with my partner and address her questions about our sex life (or lack of it) as not only do we have a two-year old but my partner is also undergoing treatment for cancer. Help, please... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2015 - 22 answers

Tell me this isn't limerence

I have been pretty sure I like this girl for a while now, and now that the issue has been raised and left unresolved, I'm in crisis mode and don't know what I'm feeling. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Dec 13, 2015 - 12 answers

GF's ex-fling offered her a job (and he's the boss)

Before we met, they had a thing. He's offered her a (admittedly amazing) job, but I'm freaking out because she'll report to him. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2015 - 48 answers

What's that quote about relationships ending/marriages being lost?

I read (somewhere?) a quote by someone (an author? poet?) that when a relationship (marriage?) ends, a little language shared by the two is lost. I've googled all sorts of combinations of these words and cannot find it. Did I hallucinate this? Thanks!
posted by Brian Puccio on Dec 12, 2015 - 3 answers

How do I resolve this internal conflict?

I am in my mid 30s and single (never been married). I have always enjoyed being single more than being in a relationship. I fact, the thought of married life fills me with dread and feels like a trap. But then I have times of feeling lonely and thinking that if I don't make an effort to meet a man and settle down soon, I will regret it one day. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Dec 9, 2015 - 32 answers

Have I ended an emotional affair or a friendship (was I becoming OW)?

I recently ended a friendship because I couldn’t decide whether it was truly platonic or an “emotional affair”. Have I made the wrong decision? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Dec 7, 2015 - 38 answers

No fool like an old fool

How do you walk away from someone you love? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema on Dec 7, 2015 - 54 answers

Issues with long distance relationship.

I am living in a long distance relationship and have encountered an issue I do not know how to cope with. I hope you can help me. [more inside]
posted by Salicornia on Nov 24, 2015 - 13 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

help! should I drop out of my MFA writing program?

I started a MFA writing program in Vancouver this fall. I wasn't sure about whether I should go or not to begin with, and now, I'm still second-guess and worrying I made a big mistake. I'm unhappy, often, and I'm worried that if I stay it will be for the wrong reasons: a big, heavy sunken cost fallacy. Can you help, please? Long complicated backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2015 - 19 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I not want a relationship?

How can I become satisfied enough by non-relationship pursuits that a relationship no longer feels necessary? Using "relationship" to mean a romantic relationship, here. [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Nov 4, 2015 - 20 answers

What is the etiquette for ending a long-term friendship?

I hate the idea of the slow fade & treasure this person but feel drained by its one-sidedness. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Nov 3, 2015 - 33 answers

Quote/poem/sentiment tying love and stars, and maybe birthdays?

I'm making my boyfriend a map of the stars for his birthday. I want a quote that ties all these concepts together. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 26, 2015 - 6 answers

Why do guys put me on a pedestal, then friend-zone me?

Recently, I've been frustratingly "friend-zoned" by two guys who seemed to like me, how do I stop conflating platonic love with romantic love? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Can't love someone or just don't love someone? How do I fix this?

I have been a series of unsuccessful relationships where my feelings disappeared over time. I cannot feel love for my long term partner, but also no longer feel love for family members. I have a history of severe depression, which is clearly an issue, but am not currently feeling particularly depressed (by my own standards, if not those of most people). I don't know how to proceed in my current relationship, as I don't know if my feelings are masked, possibly recoverable or just gone forever. I have posted here before about other emotional issues, but I’m keeping this anonymous because the other threads would link this one back to me. The MeFi community was *amazing* last time. This is a much more complex issue, but I would still appreciate your views. Can I learn to love - my partner, myself, anyone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2015 - 8 answers

Needed: The perfect quote from Jane Jacobs

I'm officiating my first wedding next week (Exciting! Scary!) and working on final details. I really would like to include a quote from Jane Jacobs, the couple's hero. “Neighborhood is a word that has come to sound like a Valentine. As a sentimental concept, ‘neighborhood’ is harmful to city planning. Sentimentality plays with sweet intentions in place of good sense.” is what I'm currently playing with, but it's not quite hitting the spot in a way I'd like without over-explaining it. Urban planning and sociology nerds: can you suggest any and all Jane Jacobs quotes that in some way connect with love, community, and growth? I welcome truly any thoughts you have, and feel free to share a bit about how you might use it. THANK YOU!
posted by jenbo1 on Oct 11, 2015 - 3 answers

How to deal with not being my boyfriend's first?

My BF [26M] is my first. However, I'm [21F] not his. His first was with a good friend with whom he had a 5 year relationship, and still remains good friends with that ex today. They were both each other's first. Out of all the other ex's my BF's had, he only remains friends with this one. Everywhere I look on the internet or in real life, people say they never forget their first love, that they'll always remain a special part of you. Since I've made this realization, I've felt incredibly low. [more inside]
posted by echoplasm on Oct 9, 2015 - 33 answers

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