1219 posts tagged with love.
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Help me/us get more comfortable with discrepancies in backgrounds?

Please help a political artsy girl and a guy from a rich background come to terms with each other's differences? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Jan 12, 2017 - 14 answers

How does the role of honorary aunt/uncle evolve during a child's life?

Parents of MetaFilter: What are some things you commonly find yourself wanting/needing from your friends when it comes to interacting with your children, especially as the kids get older? What are some of the most valuable things the long-term honorary aunts and uncles in your lives have done for the kids that has help them feel loved and supported growing up? [more inside]
posted by amnesia and magnets on Jan 9, 2017 - 17 answers

How can I cultivate intentional kindness & decency despite fear & anger?

Like many of you, I've been imbibing a heady emotional cocktail of fear and anger since the US election. I'm putting more time/effort/money toward opposing Trump's agenda and supporting progressive policies at the local level, and I'm working to stay on top of self-care (therapy, as-needed anti-anxiety meds, occasional spiritual counseling, sharing love & support with family/friends, closing the fucking tab when I need to). Here's where I'm concerned: I think it's important to maintain the capacity for moral outrage in the face of injustice. However, I worry about turning into an "angry person." [more inside]
posted by duffell on Jan 9, 2017 - 14 answers

I'm still not sure if she is the one. Is that ok?

To elaborate a little more - I've been 2 years in a relationship. We are engaged and are looking to get married later next year but I have some hesitations. I cannot tell if these hesitations are warranted or if its steming from my fear of commitement or both. [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Dec 18, 2016 - 19 answers

Songs about close friendships / chosen family?

Trying to make a playlist of songs for my Most Important People - any suggestions for songs about ride-or-die friends, chosen family, best friends forever, companions, that kind of thing? (Bonus points if there's something about keeping you safe.) [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 14, 2016 - 41 answers

Are My Photos Misleading?

Are My Photos Misleading? [Link] [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 12, 2016 - 32 answers

looking for a new love language

My 'love language' has always been gift-giving. There is nothing I enjoy more than paying for friends' and acquaintances' drinks and food, giving presents, doing favors, and toiling over elaborate meals and cocktails to serve to others -- summarily, I guess I find incredible comfort and joy in being fortunate enough to provide for folks in a material way. Unfortunately, I am no longer quite so fortunate. What are some cheap-to-free forms of service and giving I can engage in instead? [more inside]
posted by amnesia and magnets on Dec 9, 2016 - 22 answers

anxiety + sleep loss + self-love/esteem

This will be a long one, so bear with me! I've had self-esteem issues for a while now, around 10+ years. I'm in therapy, I go to Al-Anon, call people in Al-Anon for support and have a decent social network. However, I'm in a healthy relationship that I value a lot and it's brought out a lot of my own personal insecurities as well as a decent amount of nights for the past 4 months of below average sleep. How can I address my anxiety better? Details in main post. [more inside]
posted by isoman2kx on Nov 28, 2016 - 13 answers

How do I delete a (very) attractive male friend off Facebook?

An unusually good-looking male MA graduate classmate and I friended each other in RL + FB b/c we're in the same graduate class over the next year. We've worked on projects together, and have quite a bit in common. In the beginning - there was definitely attraction going on (esp for him). I felt he was very attracted to me b/c of my life experience, or that I don't pander to him like his younger female friends. He's also 22, I'm 38. In recent weeks, I've felt the age difference and his immaturity in certain issues show up, which I thought would be a good deterrent. The good news is I do not want to date him, nor do I see anything long-term if anything was to happen. But I'm struggling b/c I fear really hurting his feelings... yet I see him every week at school, so I don't know how to take him off? [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Nov 24, 2016 - 10 answers

His ex wants to move in with him. Their bond is emotional but not sexual

My current bf had a codependent relationship with his ex, and she helped him through difficult times. Now she is losing her job and wants to move in with him, and he feels responsible for her happiness. Where does this leave me? [more inside]
posted by muppets on Nov 21, 2016 - 45 answers

How do I bumble? FB coordination edition

I decided to try Bumble, but I wasn't sure whether it would be posting things to my Facebook, or drawing unwanted information into my dating profile. So I created a fake facebook with a fake name to try it out. Now I can't undo that. Use fake FB profile or undo it somehow? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2016 - 7 answers

Help me remember the name of this break up related country love song

I heard it on country radio some time between 2008 and 2011, I think it was on a lot back then. It's sung by a man in first person, about reluctantly going on a date despite still being depressed about a past breakup, and having his world brought back to life by the new woman during the course of the evening. [more inside]
posted by BeaverTerror on Nov 18, 2016 - 5 answers

Letting go of a failed relationship...while we work together?

Gay filter: I am a 23 year old gay male. I started a relationship with a man of the same age that I work with. The relationship started fast and ended even faster. I went back to him after he hurt me, but soon decided enough is enough. Now I can't stand the pain when I see him in work, and I am still lingering over feelings of attachment to him...even though he hurt me! What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Lewnatic on Nov 15, 2016 - 10 answers

Should I give this polyamorous relationship a chance or end it?

I'm in a polyamorous relationship of less than a year. It has increasingly been a struggle for me in terms of self-esteem, fear of loss, and anxiety. Lately I've been thinking it's more fair to end this relationship than continue. Is it worth attempting to take this journey in hopes that it will be ok or should I just end the relationship with the idea that, like marriage or wanting children, it's a incompatibility that's a deal breaker? More details below. [more inside]
posted by Thirty7Degrees on Nov 15, 2016 - 17 answers

Reentering the Dating Pool in your late 30s - Guidance needed

After splitting up with my Girlfriend of 8 years over a year and a half ago, I am ready to reenter the dating world. I'm glad that I took time off to work on myself. I instantly wanted to date after breaking up, but it was for all of the wrong reasons. I'm now ready and I need some guidance Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Nov 12, 2016 - 9 answers

Getting past someone when nothing went wrong

How to get past someone when nothing terrible happened and there was no break up and it's for your own good? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2016 - 7 answers

Was I right to end this relationship?

I just found out that my new boyfriend of 2 months slept with his ex wife after our third date. I ended the relationship. He is now trying to win me back. [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Nov 2, 2016 - 55 answers

How do I pick myself up during the worst year of my life?

I have lost everything this past year. How do I move forward? [more inside]
posted by ladykitty5 on Oct 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Poems for shy people in love

One of my favourite short love poems is Shailja Patel's 'First Dates in Utopia', which has a gentleness and loveliness to it that I associate with shy folks like myself. What are your favourite poems or lines of poetry about love that is awkward, hesitant and quiet - filled with silences and mis-timings? NOTE: I'm not looking for poems about unrequited love, but rather connections made or being made whilst shy. [more inside]
posted by beijingbrown on Oct 18, 2016 - 21 answers

Should I STOP ask guys out in order to achieve better results?

I'm wondering if asking men out sets the tone of being the pursuer - one man in particular. What are your thoughts? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 8, 2016 - 17 answers

Marriage counseling is off to a poor start. What to do next?

My wife and I are in couples therapy, but I feel like we haven’t made much progress. Help me develop a strategy to get things on track. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2016 - 18 answers

¿Yo me enfrío o lo sufro?

I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship but I can't seem to stop feeling pessimistic about what our future together would look like. I'm not sure whether to stay or go and need help thinking through how to go about doing either. [more inside]
posted by deus ex machina on Sep 24, 2016 - 17 answers

How to know when you're truly in love?

How do you know you're in love (and willing to spend your life with someone) versus just loving someone? [more inside]
posted by Sparwasser on Aug 31, 2016 - 77 answers

Help me find the aphorism, from my paraphrase

I read a wonderful quote not that long ago, an aphorism about relationships, but now, no matter how hard I Google, I can't track the original down. Maybe you can help? The essence of it was: We misjudge the people we love twice: First for the better, and second for the worse. [more inside]
posted by bicyclefish on Aug 30, 2016 - 1 answer

At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 23 answers

I'm here to stay!

In a serious relationship. Want to do something that symbolizes our commitment to each other. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Aug 9, 2016 - 15 answers

help me navigate my feelings & needs in an LDR

My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

Should I go on a trip with my relatively new partner?

I've been dating a person for three months. We booked a short trip but since the booking I learned things about how he processes conflict that concern me. We've had a good conversation since then. I'm not worried for my safety, but is this trip still a good idea? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on Jul 29, 2016 - 44 answers

Getting over attachment for long-term friend

How do I get over an unrequited love and move on emotionally/mentally? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2016 - 16 answers

how do couples argue successfully?

I've read that successful couples argue. How can I do this in productive way with my partner? [more inside]
posted by diode on Jul 2, 2016 - 19 answers

Relationship anxiety-- Unable to express my true feelings to my friend

I know it;s normal to be nervous, but my level of anxiety is too much and I need help [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 20, 2016 - 10 answers

Dealing w/ Stalkers when trying to publicize + being a Recovering Addict

I've filed a civil harassment order against a former college professor for stalking me online regularly in the last 4 years that has started to take its toll on me. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 10, 2016 - 12 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

What do you do about a love triangle?

I'm finding myself in a very complicated love triangle between my partner and our mutual friend (his best friend of many years). My boyfriend and I are in an open sexual relationship, but I believe I'm emotionally cheating on him. I have no idea what to do, or where to even begin in trying to fix this. [more inside]
posted by chocolatespaghetti on Jun 7, 2016 - 41 answers

I want them both - how to choose? (nyc vs new love)

I've got an incredibly tough decision in front of me - and I'm not sure how to even begin to make a choice. Do I choose an exciting new job and new york city, or do I choose a wonderful new relationship here? [more inside]
posted by graywoolsockpuppet on Jun 6, 2016 - 43 answers

Have you felt like this about someone?

The question of "has a slow start ever made it" has been asked many times, but I can't find something specific to a relationship I'm experiencing. We are not "dating" but I am experiencing an emotional/physical connection with someone in a profound way that makes me anxious that it's the real thing. It makes me want to run because I am not ready, but it feels inevitable. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Jun 2, 2016 - 24 answers

In a relationship but feeling empty…

I am living in a country that is quite far from mine because I got a great opportunity to work here in a newspaper. I’ve been dating a man for a year. I have feelings for him and know that he does for me too. However, I often feel shallow and full of doubts about our relationship. The first reason is that I cannot share a lot of my interests and ideas with him. I have a strong intellectual side. I like to read, discuss ideas, and learn stuff. My boyfriend is only interested in discussing gadgets, fashion, sports, and computers. I don’t mind these topics but I like more ‘intellectual’ things as well and I don’t like not being able to share them with him. I have also found out that some of his opinions are quite conservative and it bothers me because I am very liberal. [more inside]
posted by Fromthesouth on May 31, 2016 - 23 answers

Suddenly long distance, suddenly panicked

Our relationship is really great by any measure and makes me very happy... but now we're apart for the summer, and I'm stuck in obsessive anxiety about my feelings. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 6 answers

How do people overlook physical unattractiveness with romance and sex?

I do not understand how physical unattractiveness can be overlooked by people when they meet a stranger and consider them for a romantic or sexual partner. I apply this more to myself than to others. I know this is not a good viewpoint. I need help from people who see this right, as adults do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 41 answers

New relationship - how can I learn to chill the *&#! out?

So, I'm in a new relationship, we've been together about 2 months. Although I liked him from the beginning, he was slightly keener and always the one arranging dates, etc. I told him I was a slow burner, he was ok with that and happy to go my pace. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on May 2, 2016 - 9 answers

Moving to England with kids - yay or nay?

An old friend has asked my advice on moving to the UK from Denmark. I really struggle with what to tell her. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by kariebookish on Apr 18, 2016 - 19 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

My otherwise very dear friend keeps undermining me – what to do?

I've been friends with a wonderful person for over a decade. We've shared lots of our lives, and I consider her one of my closest friends. However, there's something about her behaviour that's been confusing and upsetting me for a long time. Whenever I discuss my romantic problems with her (and I've been through a fair bit recently – my past questions here might testify to that), I almost always end up feeling worse. We both had major self-esteem issues when we were younger, and I feel as though whenever I show that I'm feeling stronger these days, she tries to undermine me. Snowflakes below... [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Mar 27, 2016 - 26 answers

I want to flirt, harmlessly, online. How do I do this, where do I go?

I have the urge to flirt online. I don't want to do this via any real social channels, because those are all real people and I don't want to hurt any of them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2016 - 9 answers

Could my ethnicity play a role in my disappointing love life?

I am a 27 year old woman, and have always had horrible luck with relationships. I'm starting to wonder if my ethnicity, culture, background (Asian-Indian/Hindu) could have something to do with it? [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Feb 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Real life stories of reality overcoming limerance?

I'm looking for examples of person A pining after person B for a long time. We're talking years of building this fantasy in their head about a person they couldn't have, for whatever reason. Then A finally gets with B romantically or otherwise gets to know them well, and are disappointed by the reality of who person B is or what the relationship is really like. [more inside]
posted by atinna on Feb 23, 2016 - 16 answers

Preserving the stability I've worked so hard to achieve

After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 17, 2016 - 19 answers

How do I find out how this person feels about me?

I am confused about how someone is feeling towards me, and don't know how to get out of this ambiguous situation, but desperately need to. Please help. [more inside]
posted by muppets on Feb 12, 2016 - 25 answers

Should I Date a Younger Man?

A few weeks ago I started seeing a guy I am now completely smitten with. We met through mutual friends and it started out as a drunk hookup (hah), but the following weekend I saw him again in a sober hang out context, and we ended up both canceling our evening plans and talking well into the night. I didn’t expect to have such an intense and wonderful connection with him. I feel like he is alive in the same way that I am. We can talk about anything, and we spend a lot of time just laughing about nonsense. Like I said, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I already feel like he could be someone who is very very special in my life. [more inside]
posted by alipie on Feb 8, 2016 - 48 answers

Female friend zone

I have been close friends with this guy for about 1.5 years. We slept together and had some sort of semi-dating thing going for a couple of months when we first met. Then it fizzled out and I was more hurt by this than I anticipated. As of recently, he is now in a serious relationship. It bothers me. Time to cut the friendship? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Feb 7, 2016 - 16 answers

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