1156 posts tagged with love.
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Issues with long distance relationship.

I am living in a long distance relationship and have encountered an issue I do not know how to cope with. I hope you can help me. [more inside]
posted by Salicornia on Nov 24, 2015 - 13 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

help! should I drop out of my MFA writing program?

I started a MFA writing program in Vancouver this fall. I wasn't sure about whether I should go or not to begin with, and now, I'm still second-guess and worrying I made a big mistake. I'm unhappy, often, and I'm worried that if I stay it will be for the wrong reasons: a big, heavy sunken cost fallacy. Can you help, please? Long complicated backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2015 - 19 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I not want a relationship?

How can I become satisfied enough by non-relationship pursuits that a relationship no longer feels necessary? Using "relationship" to mean a romantic relationship, here. [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Nov 4, 2015 - 20 answers

What is the etiquette for ending a long-term friendship?

I hate the idea of the slow fade & treasure this person but feel drained by its one-sidedness. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Nov 3, 2015 - 32 answers

Quote/poem/sentiment tying love and stars, and maybe birthdays?

I'm making my boyfriend a map of the stars for his birthday. I want a quote that ties all these concepts together. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 26, 2015 - 6 answers

Why do guys put me on a pedestal, then friend-zone me?

Recently, I've been frustratingly "friend-zoned" by two guys who seemed to like me, how do I stop conflating platonic love with romantic love? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Can't love someone or just don't love someone? How do I fix this?

I have been a series of unsuccessful relationships where my feelings disappeared over time. I cannot feel love for my long term partner, but also no longer feel love for family members. I have a history of severe depression, which is clearly an issue, but am not currently feeling particularly depressed (by my own standards, if not those of most people). I don't know how to proceed in my current relationship, as I don't know if my feelings are masked, possibly recoverable or just gone forever. I have posted here before about other emotional issues, but I’m keeping this anonymous because the other threads would link this one back to me. The MeFi community was *amazing* last time. This is a much more complex issue, but I would still appreciate your views. Can I learn to love - my partner, myself, anyone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2015 - 8 answers

Needed: The perfect quote from Jane Jacobs

I'm officiating my first wedding next week (Exciting! Scary!) and working on final details. I really would like to include a quote from Jane Jacobs, the couple's hero. “Neighborhood is a word that has come to sound like a Valentine. As a sentimental concept, ‘neighborhood’ is harmful to city planning. Sentimentality plays with sweet intentions in place of good sense.” is what I'm currently playing with, but it's not quite hitting the spot in a way I'd like without over-explaining it. Urban planning and sociology nerds: can you suggest any and all Jane Jacobs quotes that in some way connect with love, community, and growth? I welcome truly any thoughts you have, and feel free to share a bit about how you might use it. THANK YOU!
posted by jenbo1 on Oct 11, 2015 - 3 answers

How to deal with not being my boyfriend's first?

My BF [26M] is my first. However, I'm [21F] not his. His first was with a good friend with whom he had a 5 year relationship, and still remains good friends with that ex today. They were both each other's first. Out of all the other ex's my BF's had, he only remains friends with this one. Everywhere I look on the internet or in real life, people say they never forget their first love, that they'll always remain a special part of you. Since I've made this realization, I've felt incredibly low. [more inside]
posted by echoplasm on Oct 9, 2015 - 33 answers

How do I know if this engagement ring is good enough?

On the weekend my mother gave me her engagement ring to propose to my Girlfriend with. What worries me is that the diamond isn't large enough. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Oct 8, 2015 - 67 answers

I need to hear you say it

I like to hear the words "I love you" more than my partner likes to say them. What to do? [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Oct 7, 2015 - 18 answers

How to properly enjoy happiness?

I realize this is almost a bratty question to ask, but it's giving me a hard time. I am happy. Things are going well. I feel like I'm looking at a pretty sunset and thinking "eh, okay. enough of that. ho hum." How can I maximize my enjoyment (?) of this blessedly uncomplicated time in my life without screwing it up? [more inside]
posted by witchen on Oct 6, 2015 - 21 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend that I love him? If so, how?

We've been dating for three months. I love him, but he hasn't said it yet, and I don't know if I want to say it first. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 5, 2015 - 20 answers

Bipolar: When to tell a date

I met a wonderful man who is smitten with me, and I with him. We have been talking on the phone for two weeks (we met online), and have had four fabulous, fun dates. He expresses that he really likes me. He is 37 and I am 30. He has been married before, and I asked him why they got divorced, and he explained to me that she developed bipolar disorder I with schizophrenic tendencies about 3 years into their marriage, and she could not get stabilized. She had multiple trips to the psych ward while he was in med school, and it was really hard on him. He was studying to be an anesthesiologist and the final straw was when his wife called his residency hospital and told them he was poisoning her with intravenous drugs. Well, that would all be fine and good, except...I have bipolar II. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 5, 2015 - 24 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Falling in love with my roommate

Looking for advice on how to cope, NOT on how to hit on him [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2015 - 23 answers

Please advise about this guy I am stuck on

Hello I am a lady in her late 30s and until 3 weeks ago, in a long-term relationship (12 years). We were not married and had no kids, and lived together for a decade. My ex and I shared a deep understanding, laughs and interests, and I thought this was enough until I met a younger guy a few months ago, for whom I immediately felt a crazy infatuation. [more inside]
posted by muppets on Sep 22, 2015 - 17 answers

Will my boyfriend ever love me?

My wonderful boyfriend of 1.5 years cares deeply for me and sees a future for us, but does not love me. Do I wait? [more inside]
posted by byhp on Sep 21, 2015 - 72 answers

What's it like to be with a girl whom you love more than she loves you?

I guess I'm mostly interested in guys' perspectives here, although I'd be interested to hear from girls too (whatever your sexual preference). Have you ever been in a relationship with a girl whom you loved significantly more than you felt loved by her? What did that feel like? How was the relationship and how did it end? Did you ever discuss this with her? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Sep 5, 2015 - 10 answers

Should I stay with my emotionally unstable boyfriend?

My boyfriend lies, has anxiety and is unstable emotionally, should I stick it out to help him get better or leave him behind for good? [more inside]
posted by Lolly on Aug 10, 2015 - 31 answers

Fear in opening myself to a good man in a good relationship?

I have been with my boyfriend for not even two months but he is already so in love and so infatuated and I wonder why I am looking at things so much differently. He has not dated many people and I have, lots who have hurt me and some the other way around. I am finding myself scared to love him back fully and wonder why I am not quite as infatuated though I feel I do love him in return? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Aug 4, 2015 - 18 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Permission to judge this OKCupid profile! (31F in NYC)

Hey guys! I just re-joined OKCupid a month ago and haven't received many messages. It's nerve-wracking to post my profile here, but who knows: maybe you can help! [more inside]
posted by jessca84 on Jul 19, 2015 - 51 answers

Acts of kindness and affection beyond romantic relationships?

Can life be as rich and wonderful without that deep intimacy with someone romantically? Can one channel openhearted and loving acts of kindness and affection in other ways that are just as fulfilling? [more inside]
posted by jpritcha on Jul 15, 2015 - 14 answers

Does my platonic friend have romantic feelings - and what should I do?

Does a platonic friend who is in a relationship feel more than he is letting on? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Jul 13, 2015 - 30 answers

My 8 year relationship lacks passion... should we move on?

I am in my early 30s and have been in a loving relationship for over 8 years. We live together and our lives are very intermingled. But the passion is gone, and I am beginning to wonder whether we'd be better apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 16 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

How to keep the one your with

I'm curious to know your stories, or what it is that keeps you happy in the relationship you are in? Also is it possible to grow in love with a person when you are in a happy relationship? Before I confused love with infatuation and I don't want to go through that again! [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Struggling to Accept

My in-laws bother me and it's making me miserable. [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Jun 14, 2015 - 37 answers

Reducing suffering when making a choice between two relationships

A few months ago, I met an amazing new person with whom I would like to pursue a committed romantic relationship, but I am still in a prior long-term relationship with many problems of its own. How can I decide whether it is fair and right to leave my old boyfriend to continue dating this new person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2015 - 45 answers

help with a Google-fu fail

I saw a series of lovely hand-drawn anime-esque cartoons some time ago depicting, in an incredibly sweet and moving way, a couple in a long-term relationship and all its related intimacies. No text or speech-bubbles, just images of two people being together and helping each other. There was one scene of them eating ice-cream together, watching TV, etc. The overall colour palette was warm pink/orange hues. I cannot for the life of me find this again. Turns out terms like "relationship" "happy" "love" "long-term" do not a Google search narrow. If anyone knows that I'm talking about, I would greatly appreciate a link!
posted by starcrust on May 27, 2015 - 2 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

Rilke quote

I read an article that claimed Rilke wrote that romantic lovers "keep on using each other to hide their own fates." Where did he write this? Googling reveals nothing except the article itself, but it may just be a non-standard translation from German.
posted by deathpanels on May 14, 2015 - 5 answers

How do I stop worrying about my loved ones getting hurt?

I can't stop envisioning scenarios in which people I care about get into horrific car/train/plane accidents or get sick and die. How do I accept my powerlessness to protect my loved ones 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt and just live with it? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 13, 2015 - 12 answers

Getting out of limerence while still maintaining the relationship

Help me figure out how to get back to a place where I once was with a close friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2015 - 5 answers

Should I try to date? If so, whom should I date, and how?

I’m finally emotionally ready to date with the aim of starting an actual relationship, but my life situation isn’t there yet. How can I plan my life for a solid, equitable relationship, and how should I approach dating? [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock on Apr 27, 2015 - 23 answers

Was he interested or not?

An older guy flirted with me at work. I finally got a chance to give him my number but it's been awhile and he hasn't called. I'm VERY confused. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Apr 26, 2015 - 17 answers

How do I know whether it's worth giving my relationship a shot?

I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Apr 21, 2015 - 67 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

How to love a fearful-avoidant partner

I've seen these questions about how to change a fearful-avoidant attachment style, but I can't find any information on how to help a partner who is fearful-avoidant feel loved and secure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 11 answers

Give me your best NON-RELIGIOUS wedding readings

I'm looking for a short reading for our wedding that we can ask an athiest friend of ours to read. Other portions of the ceremony will contain religious elements, but we don't want to ask him to read anything that might make him feel uncomfortable or awkward. [more inside]
posted by rainbowbrite on Mar 25, 2015 - 29 answers

Help me love

Guys, I’ve gotten off track. I’ve lost my way. And I’m worried that I won’t get to be in love again because it scares me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2015 - 7 answers

Modern Dating/Online Matching 101, please?

For a fiction project, I need to come to a better understanding about how modern dating works, particularly with regard to Tinder. From my perspective (I'm older, I've been married a long time and I have absolutely no experience with the modern dating scene), I wonder why women might be using Tinder. Is it just for hooking up? Or do woman (or men) look to Tinder to try to meet someone for actual dating and long-term relationship? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on Mar 11, 2015 - 23 answers

In love with best friend for about a year but he's taken. Now what?

About a year ago I realised I loved a close friend of about a decade. Now what? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Feb 28, 2015 - 29 answers

Movies about fanatics

What are some more movies about lives being consumed by objects or crafts? [more inside]
posted by dimejubes on Feb 27, 2015 - 33 answers

Realistic love songs

I love love and I hate most love songs. I feel that real love is incredibly beautiful in it's complexity yet knowledge of it's frailty. I want songs that express this sentiment without being cynical.
posted by eq21 on Feb 26, 2015 - 49 answers

My boyfriend "forgot" me and let his ex stay during the holiday with him

Please help me get over the bitterness towards my boyfriend’s actions. I am turning into a person I truly dislike, but I can’t get over myself and all the bad feelings this story brought up. I have been with my man for almost three years in a LDR. He is great in so many ways and I do love him. However, I have lost my trust and confidence in him that he will be a considerate and respectful man, and a partner to count on in the future. [more inside]
posted by dreamsandhope on Feb 22, 2015 - 33 answers

Websites about love and self-worth/knowledge/respect/etc

I really like this website and I was wondering if you can recommend similar ones. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Feb 21, 2015 - 5 answers

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