I had to put my beloved cat down last week and I'm frankly stunned by how hard the grief has hit me. He showed up at my back door 14 years ago and never left. We had a great time together.
I decided to bury him in the garden but when I got home I found I couldn't dig down further than about a 8-12 inches because of tree roots and sprinkler lines. I have a bad back already, so in a panic, I buried him in his towel at that depth and put a 38-pound paver stone on top. I have a fenced yard and only a few stray cats (I note the ones always bullying him have disappeared) and maybe a possum find their way in.
Now I am wracked with anxiety, worrying that he is not safe and I should not have done it, and maybe I should dig him up and cremate him, which would be awful to imagine...I can't stand it. Is there some drawback to this more shallow grave I don't know about? No animal could lift that stone.
So far this anxiety and fear is the worst part of it. So if you could allay my fears, I'd appreciate it.
posted by PJSibling
on Apr 25, 2014 -
I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by Because
on Apr 16, 2014 -
What I’m trying to figure out now is how to trust people again, trust myself again, and find myself/my voice again. [more inside]
posted by lullu73
on Apr 9, 2014 -
I have crippling, perhaps justified fear of being fired. My fear is making my performance suffer, causing me misery and probably making firing more likely. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by Marered
on Jan 20, 2014 -
I'm trying to lose weight, again. One thing I perpetually struggle with is the impulse to snack, especially in the afternoon and evening. I'm trying to distract myself from snacking with new and exciting calorie free beverages, and I'm stuck in a rut. I love Diet Coke, but am trying to reduce my intake of chemical sweeteners. Plain water is obvious, and seltzer with citrus is only a little less so. I've experimented with cold brewing green tea, and I like that, but I am looking for more creative ideas. What are your favorite ZERO CALORIE beverages? I am really not interested in anything that involves any form of sugar. Ideally your idea does not involve artificial sweetener, but if it's an enchanting concoction that REQUIRES aspartame or sucralose, I'm down. I am in the U.S., if that matters, and you may assume I can procure just about any ingredient/beverage within reason. I'm interested in product recommendations as well as recipes, and note that I'm fine with a moderate level of fiddliness, as a project recipe that ends in calorie free indulgence will keep me away from the chips and ice cream for MINUTES AT A TIME. :)
posted by little mouth
on Sep 18, 2013 -
I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on? [more inside]
posted by cardinality
on May 5, 2013 -
Recently in a social situation I was asked my thoughts on a budgeting item and I gave it along with a solution that I had given thought to and was planning on presenting to the budget chair. (We work in different departments but run things past each other on occasion). One of the people at the gathering was a woman with political ambitions for our small town. A few days later she wrote a letter to the editor that gave my exact idea. What would you do? On the plus side it was very well received, OTH it was mine. I realize I should have said nothing and it was my mistake. I figure people that were there would know it wasn't hers and hopefully someone will point that out. Can I address it or should I leave it?
posted by lasamana
on Jan 28, 2013 -
My partner just ended our relationship, what strategies can I use to get through the night and next few days? [more inside]
posted by Asherah
on Jan 19, 2013 -
What techniques do you use to process big changes in your life? I'm interested in specific tips to deal with change once you've accepted it and made it. [more inside]
posted by rockpaperdynamite
on Dec 21, 2012 -
I've never eaten too healthy in my life. I feel like it's taking a toll on my body and my mood at a relatively young age. More details inside. (long and some things about my past) [more inside]
posted by Autumn89
on Oct 22, 2012 -
I'm losing focus on my weight loss goals and I don't want to fall off the wagon. I have had to fight hard to lose what I have lost, and I do not want to back track. How do you get your head back in the game and really find the time to focus on it and prioritize it when your life has become extremely busy? [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson
on Sep 18, 2012 -
I have been overweight all my life, as has all of my family. I have noticed that as we age, get sick, and eventually die, between the sick and die part they get skinny! So each time I lose weight and look at myself I look like a cancer patient waiting to die and I gain it back. I've talked to a counselor who did a lot of hmmm and mmms which was too expensive to repeat. Any ideas how to fix my psyche and eventually fix my physique?
posted by msleann
on Aug 24, 2012 -
In the past 4 days I've had 4 major-ish lapses in memory. Otherwise I'm 100% fine. Is this a problem? [more inside]
posted by Chorus
on May 20, 2012 -
My cousin's wife just lost her baby at 4 months along. This is her second miscarriage (one full-term pregnancy in between, daughter is now 1.5 y/o). I would like to send a card or have flowers delivered, but is it appropriate? [more inside]
posted by kthxbi
on Apr 27, 2012 -
Replaced an old website with a new (better?) version in Wordpress and traffic went down. Why? [more inside]
posted by doomtop
on Apr 12, 2012 -
how to get over a breakup when you don't want the person back, but feel no closure? (note:very long) [more inside]
posted by teaforone
on Feb 24, 2012 -
I have trouble breaking through my mental block on the path to weight loss. How do I mentally adjust myself towards an exercise regime and stick to it? Special self-loathing snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ashen
on Jan 13, 2012 -
I'm assuming that the RDI of 3100 calories from my Android App is a bit high, right? YNMD. [more inside]
posted by glaucon
on Dec 1, 2011 -
How do I get over an ex girlfriend? No joke, I cannot get over this girl. we met last summer, and shared great times and it lasted for months. It was intense. Then, it just died. She lives in another state and I cannot just go see her, not without her wanting me to do so. We have talked some but that is all. I can accept that it's over, but I just cannot stop thinking about her. Help! I don't want to forget her, but I don't want to have her on my mind always! [more inside]
posted by cvoixjames
on Oct 4, 2011 -
My friend's dad just passed away. How can I help him? What can I do?
I live couple thousand miles away from where he is. Can you give me some suggestions?
Is it bad if I start compiling list of government agencies or funeral homes for them to call? What else I can do?
posted by Carius
on Jan 2, 2011 -
What, if anything, is suddenly missing from the daily lives of rural, conservative Americans? How can I better understand the Tea Partier's point of view? [more inside]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot
on Nov 15, 2010 -
Sadly I lost a friend to a long battle with cancer last night, her husband and teenage children are without any extended family in the area and will rely on some of us for the next while. Two things:
1 - Can you tell me of things that friends and family have done for you in similar circumstances that really helped at the time: large, small, immediately, over days, weeks, months, whatever. We'll sort out food, the pets and cleaning the house but what else can we do?
2 - Any advice on striking the right balance between giving them their space to grieve and being there to support to them?
posted by HopStopDon'tShop
on Mar 21, 2010 -
Where can I find a tea kettle that plays a melodic sound when the water boils, rather than the common high-pitched screeeeee? I heard one once, so I know they exist, but I'm having zero luck finding one. Even when they claim to be pleasant, they aren't, and buying and returning tea kettles (especially online) is getting old fast. Do you have a lovely sounding kettle? Please tell me all about it.
posted by kestralwing
on Feb 16, 2010 -
Do I need to insure my web business? I am setting up a to-do list + calendar web application that holds users' data. Do I need to insure against data loss, or down time? Or can I put all that in a EULA (e.g., [web application] will not be responsible for any data loss, down time, data corruption etc)? [more inside]
posted by tomargue
on Jul 12, 2009 -
I have a tire that keeps losing pressure rapidly. In a car with front wheel drive, would it be safer to have the tire on the front, or the back? At least until the tire can be replaced. [more inside]
posted by Malice
on May 17, 2009 -
Why does Wellbutrin cause weight loss? Even my doctor doesn't seem to know for sure. Are there unproven medical hypotheses or studies amongst doctors or pharmacists or anyone else that lean towards an as-yet-unofficial answer? (Feel free to get technical. If I don't understand, I'll Google.)
posted by WCityMike
on Jul 20, 2007 -
I am looking for an e-mail mailing list in which weight loss is discussed. However, I'm looking for one with a very
specific sort of attitude. [more inside]
posted by WCityMike
on Feb 7, 2007 -