272 posts tagged with loss.
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Pet loss & grief... if you've been there, a few questions for you

It really sucks, doesn't it. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Nov 23, 2015 - 29 answers

Losing a Limb

From a non-medical perspective, what is it like to recover from having most of a leg amputated? [more inside]
posted by kittensofthenight on Nov 5, 2015 - 5 answers

What therapeutic approach is right for me?

I need some help in seeking a therapist. Not a recommendation to a specific therapist, but some insight into various approaches. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2015 - 10 answers

Ear drum surgery: is it risky?

I'd like to correct a pretty significant hole in my ear drum but am worried that this type of surgery might have a pretty high botch rate. [more inside]
posted by GlassHeart on Sep 14, 2015 - 6 answers

Several losses all at once

A friend of mine decided they do not want to be friends any more. Because of additional circumstances, it has also meant losing a supportive community I'd been part of for a few years. I'm surprised by the intensity of my grief and finding it difficult to cope. I am looking for resources / books / personal accounts / tips to help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2015 - 14 answers

Happy or Sad

How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
posted by dissolvedgirl22 on Jul 27, 2015 - 19 answers

Memoirs and philosophical works on death, loss

Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte on Jul 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Am I hurting myself in the long run, or being a good friend?

I have posted some questions before about my first relationship and would like to get some advice on whether friendship is even the right thing now. I've had conflicted feelings the entire 5 1/2 years I've known this person, and am wondering what is the right thing to do? He says he needs my support because he finally came out but could we be friends or are we going to keep hurting each other? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on May 14, 2015 - 19 answers

How to deal with complicated grief when logic isn't doing the trick?

I recently had a missed miscarriage of a very much wanted pregnancy at 12 weeks. I know logically there must have been a problem that most likely wasn't my fault, that statistically miscarriages happen in 10-20% of known pregnancies....all of that. But this isn't helping my heart - advice? [more inside]
posted by brambory on Apr 29, 2015 - 18 answers

Parting ways with a childhood home

I'm having trouble letting go of my childhood home that I inherited, and the lifetime of stuff inside it. I could use some advice about how to move on. [more inside]
posted by Banknote of the year on Mar 24, 2015 - 28 answers

Help Me Stay Busy During Grief

My father died a few days ago. Everybody is telling me that it helps to stay busy. I would like to try that, but certain life circumstances make it difficult. More inside. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Mar 24, 2015 - 16 answers

Help me not get diabetes please!

I have a very strong family history of type II diabetes (all 4 of my grandparents, both of my parents, and most of their numerous siblings have been diagnosed, usually in their late 50s). I am in my early 40s and somehow over the past 20 years have been putting pounds (quit smoking and gained some weight, got pregnant and didn't lose all the weight, got a sedentary office job and added a few more pounds . . .). Now I'm at a BMI of 31 and the heaviest I've ever been at middle age, and I REALLY don't want to become diabetic like everyone else in my family. [more inside]
posted by agent99 on Mar 17, 2015 - 28 answers

Dealing with grief and stupid things people say

My grandmother passed away last week. The viewing and funeral have already been held. I am now trying to deal with people who mean well, but say some incredibly dumb things. What are some good tactics? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Mar 14, 2015 - 24 answers

I lost over 100 lbs and I'm feeling and looking deflated

For those who have lost over 100 lbs and had a breast lift, abdominoplasty, or a lower body lift: Would you mind sharing your experience with me? [more inside]
posted by Sarin Bellum on Mar 13, 2015 - 6 answers

Anxiety and Memory Loss? Foods that help memory loss for vegans?

I seem to have acute anxiety lately, which is causing a cognition deficit for me. My memory is quite poor and lax these days - I'm not certain if it is due to my vegan diet, or my ongoing intensive anxiety? Are there any tips on how to improve my memory and stabilize my anxiety? [more inside]
posted by RearWindow on Mar 10, 2015 - 17 answers

recommend your best fitness / weight loss related podcasts

I'm trying to keep my momentum going regarding new year resolutions and eating better/moving more in an effort to lose a significant chunk of weight. Recommend me your favourite podcasts on the topic, please. [more inside]
posted by PardonMyFrench on Feb 9, 2015 - 2 answers

Is Soulcycle/Flywheel/Spinning effective for weight loss?

I got a few free classes to a spinning class (Flywheel, its like Soulcycle) and I was trying to figure out whether it was an effective form of exercise for weight loss. Is it effective and would I feel out of place as a guy?
posted by touareg on Jan 13, 2015 - 7 answers

Dont shine your light on me

I am a man with thinning hair. I have full hair coverage on my hair but my scalp is very shiny where my hair is a bit thinner and it makes me self conscious. I googled how to stop head shine but everything I am seeing relates to fully bald heads. Any tips on how to stop the shine when you still have hair? Thanks!!
posted by anonymous on Jan 9, 2015 - 13 answers

What should the future with my ex look like?

My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
posted by Capri on Dec 21, 2014 - 66 answers

Remembering the dead

I lost my husband this year, and my adult children lost their beloved father. I would like to start a tradition for remembrance this Christmas, at a meal or at gift opening. Ideally it should be short, meaningful, and accommodating of a wide range of beliefs, from atheist, to agnostic, to believer, to alternate religion. Any suggestions?
posted by francesca too on Dec 10, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me put together a funeral for a lost sense

A family member lost her sense of smell in an accident and we would like to hold a little "memorial ceremony" to help her process it. Can you think of any songs, poems, quotations, readings, symbolic activities we could use? Serious and humorous suggestions are fine.
posted by Naanwhal on Nov 16, 2014 - 20 answers

I am about to be disowned.

Have you ever dropped a bomb on your life? Been disowned by your parents? Shunned by your extended family and community? Please tell me about it. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 13, 2014 - 42 answers

Grieving a mentor

A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Oct 31, 2014 - 8 answers

Help me not screw up my efforts to lose weight

Late 30's female here who is undergoing a physician supervised diet because (obviously) I need to lose weight. I'm only on day two and all I can think about is FOOD! I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I want and need to lose weight but I'm getting discouraged. I know it's going to take time to break the old, unhealthy habits so, until that happens, I'm looking for advice on how to get over this hurdle. Special bonus points for website suggestions with inspirational stories.
posted by cdg7707 on Sep 4, 2014 - 31 answers

Topamax prescribed specifically as a weight loss aid?

Recently, I was my PCP and inquired about appetite suppressants. (I had taken adipex many years ago, which was great) and she informed me that she did not prescribe Adipex due to the possible cardiac side effects - but that she was prescribing Topamax as a weight loss aid due to the side effect of the medication being loss of appetite. She said it works quite well for a large majority of her patients, but not everyone. Has anyone here been prescribed Topamax specifically for this reason? If so, how well did it work and would you recommend it?
posted by Sara_NOT_Sarah on Aug 29, 2014 - 22 answers

What to send/do for a friend who lost her preemie?

A friend who lives far from me delivered a beautiful baby boy yesterday at 24 weeks and lost him only hours later. I would like to send her something, what should I send? [more inside]
posted by saradarlin on Aug 20, 2014 - 22 answers

How can I lose weight without getting obsessive about it?

I've always been a huge overplanner but rarely follow through on any of my plans. When I do try, I get so obsessive about it it inevitably falls apart. I've been "trying" to lose the 40 lbs I gained in college (I'm 24 now) for the past 3 years without success. How can I actually lose weight without being so anal about it? [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird on Aug 15, 2014 - 36 answers

Grief and the elderly

How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 16 answers

What to say when "Fine, and you?" feels like a betrayal?

I've had a truly awful year, and in April my much beloved pet died suddenly leaving me completely devastated with guilt and grief. Among the things I no longer seem to be able to do is answer the innocuous "How are you?" question from acquaintances and colleagues. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by girl flaneur on Jul 31, 2014 - 42 answers

I am having trouble with my new "overweight" status

For the first time, in my early 40's, I'm overweight and ashamed and embarrassed and can't get back on track. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2014 - 42 answers

Getting into Shape

Does anyone have any suggestions for working out and dieting that has worked for them? Although I do not have any health problems (knock on wood), I would really like to get into shape. I typically use the elliptical at the health club and I enjoy running out side except I tend to get shin splints. Not sure whether anyone has any book recommendations that helped motivate them? I can't stand how I feel and look as of late, so I need to do something drastic. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
posted by nidora on May 11, 2014 - 24 answers

Beyond Flowers

I work with a woman whose adult son passed away a little over a year ago. My mom also passed away 2.5 years ago, and we really connected over our losses. Last year for Mother's Day I sent my co-worker some standard flowers. This year I'd like to do something different, but need ideas. [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 28, 2014 - 17 answers

Did I bury my cat wrong?

I had to put my beloved cat down last week and I'm frankly stunned by how hard the grief has hit me. He showed up at my back door 14 years ago and never left. We had a great time together. I decided to bury him in the garden but when I got home I found I couldn't dig down further than about a 8-12 inches because of tree roots and sprinkler lines. I have a bad back already, so in a panic, I buried him in his towel at that depth and put a 38-pound paver stone on top. I have a fenced yard and only a few stray cats (I note the ones always bullying him have disappeared) and maybe a possum find their way in. Now I am wracked with anxiety, worrying that he is not safe and I should not have done it, and maybe I should dig him up and cremate him, which would be awful to imagine...I can't stand it. Is there some drawback to this more shallow grave I don't know about? No animal could lift that stone. So far this anxiety and fear is the worst part of it. So if you could allay my fears, I'd appreciate it.
posted by PJSibling on Apr 25, 2014 - 28 answers

Impending pet death (probably). How do I take care of the remains?

I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by Because on Apr 16, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me figure out how to trust again (both other people and myself)….

What I’m trying to figure out now is how to trust people again, trust myself again, and find myself/my voice again. [more inside]
posted by lullu73 on Apr 9, 2014 - 11 answers

What can be done for situational depression that won't go away?

What can be done for situational depression/adjustment disorder that never ends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2014 - 14 answers

Examples of dead/dying characters listing all the things they'll miss

I'm trying to think of more examples of this particular moment: a character who is dying, or thinking of death, or speaking from beyond the grave, gives a list or inventory of the everyday things they remember and appreciate about being alive. A few examples inside. [more inside]
posted by Beardman on Mar 28, 2014 - 23 answers

dealing with bereavement

I am having trouble dealing with the loss of my parent. What did you do during a period of acute loss that helped you hang in? [more inside]
posted by sockanalia on Mar 5, 2014 - 24 answers

Dealing with loss of friendshp

How do you deal with a complicated loss of friendship that has no possible resolution? [more inside]
posted by lullu73 on Feb 13, 2014 - 23 answers

Does this "magic" pill really work?

There is no shortage of diets for people who want to lose weight quickly: Atkins, the "Zone" diet, the Vegan diet, the Weight-Watchers diet, the Mediterranean diet, ... But there are countless articles and experts which seem to refute the "evidence" put forth by the creators of such diets. Question is, do you know whether the latest diet advertised by Dr. Oz (the " Garcinia Cambogia" extract-based diet) is safe / do you have any information on it? [more inside]
posted by omar.a on Feb 13, 2014 - 11 answers

Afraid of being fired: how do I keep the fear from crippling me?

I have crippling, perhaps justified fear of being fired. My fear is making my performance suffer, causing me misery and probably making firing more likely. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by Marered on Jan 20, 2014 - 21 answers

Books about suffering loss but being better for it

I'm going through some things that have both brought me a lot of sadness and presented an opportunity to change my life for the better. I'm wondering if there are any books the MeFi hive can recommend, novels, memoirs or otherwise. They should be about people who have suffered loss, perhaps enduring shame, but emerging better for it. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Jan 17, 2014 - 11 answers

In sickness and in (better) health

My wedding is coming up in a few months and I want to find some small things I can do to reduce my spare tire before I walk down the aisle. [more inside]
posted by SeparateAccountForWeddingQuestions on Dec 20, 2013 - 14 answers

Someone else's grief: office edition

My boss' mother is dying. It's not about me, but: what am I not doing that I should be doing? What have I not even thought of? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Dec 13, 2013 - 15 answers

I know who I’d talk to, if only I could

How do you deal with the death of a good friend? [more inside]
posted by unannihilated on Dec 10, 2013 - 23 answers

How to handle my healthy pregnancy and friends' pregnancy struggles?

How to handle my healthy pregnancy and friends' pregnancy struggles? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Nov 25, 2013 - 13 answers

weightloss medication

hi forum, I'm checking to see if any of you have any experience using Belviq or other weight loss medication. I'm overweight, and while I do try to get exercise, it seems it's not enough to make much of a dent, and now I'm having knee and back problems when I try to job (for the above mentioned exercise). Someone recommended that I look at Belviq or other weight loss medication. Do any of you have any experience with this or similar medication? kind regards, -matt
posted by earthwalker7 on Oct 13, 2013 - 16 answers

Video games that leave you with less and less

What are video games in which your decisions rob you of resources or options, leaving you with fewer and fewer possibilities as the game goes on? [more inside]
posted by Rory Marinich on Oct 10, 2013 - 45 answers

In search of zero calorie beverage inspiration!

I'm trying to lose weight, again. One thing I perpetually struggle with is the impulse to snack, especially in the afternoon and evening. I'm trying to distract myself from snacking with new and exciting calorie free beverages, and I'm stuck in a rut. I love Diet Coke, but am trying to reduce my intake of chemical sweeteners. Plain water is obvious, and seltzer with citrus is only a little less so. I've experimented with cold brewing green tea, and I like that, but I am looking for more creative ideas. What are your favorite ZERO CALORIE beverages? I am really not interested in anything that involves any form of sugar. Ideally your idea does not involve artificial sweetener, but if it's an enchanting concoction that REQUIRES aspartame or sucralose, I'm down. I am in the U.S., if that matters, and you may assume I can procure just about any ingredient/beverage within reason. I'm interested in product recommendations as well as recipes, and note that I'm fine with a moderate level of fiddliness, as a project recipe that ends in calorie free indulgence will keep me away from the chips and ice cream for MINUTES AT A TIME. :)
posted by little mouth on Sep 18, 2013 - 62 answers

Help me live well while my father slowly dies...

My father was given a terminal diagnosis almost a decade ago. I am so lucky that he is still here. But I'm exhausted from living with the specter of his imminent death all these years. And I feel like I've been missing out on living my own life. How do I find more space for myself, even as I try to cherish the time I have with him (which now does seem to be running short)? [more inside]
posted by zahava on Jun 30, 2013 - 12 answers

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