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Needed: One Pair Of Big Girl Pants ASAP

I am one of those adults who had to emotionally take care of myself throughout my life due to mediocre parenting. Mom and Dad weren't hugely abusive, but they didn't seem to give a fuck about my brother and I. I'm coming out of a month where I went off my meds and I think I had a hypomanic episode followed by a giant crash. While I am now back on my meds and working with my therapist and pdoc, I am craving someone in my life who would take care of me emotionally. Someone who would understand where I was coming from and why I feel the way I do. The thing is, I do live in reality and know that's not possible for the immediate foreseeable future, if ever. What can I do to self-soothe and give myself that pampered feeling? How do I find someone who gets me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 13 answers

How do I get out of this alive? Should I bother?

I'm an isolated mess of a person and not sure how I will get out of it at this age. If you've ever been this isolated or hit rock bottom and made it out, how did you do it, particularly if it happened to you after 35? [more inside]
posted by katherant on Jul 10, 2014 - 45 answers

Stranger in a strange land

I am lonely and alone in a different country. How can I be okay with being alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2014 - 13 answers

Solitude 101.

Solitude, isolation, introversion...how to be happy with related life choices and what to watch out for. Advice? [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Apr 22, 2014 - 29 answers

Dating while depressed?

Due to various life happenings, I am not in a great place mindset-wise and have more than a tinge of depression. I am also more than ever rather lonely, and would like a partner. I worry that subconsciously I am looking for someone to help "fix" and take care of me during this depression, which is not the best reason to date and would be unfair to whatever partner I might find. Then again, this loneliness could very well be contributing to my depression. Would it be a bad idea to date under these circumstances? Has anyone dated while depressed with positive results? Or should I wait until I am in a better frame of mind to search for a partner?
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Help me close the door on this infatuation..

I act like an idiot around this person. I need to stop and salvage my dignity. [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Dec 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Lifeless in Palo Alto.

Six months ago I moved from Maryland to the Bay Area to start a new life in tech. I knew no one here before moving. The weather here is wonderful. I live and work in Palo Alto at a startup-y job with long hours. I am often pretty dang miserable outside of work. How can I have more fun day to day? [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on Dec 4, 2013 - 20 answers

Are lust and loneliness always bad counselors?

I (30) am occasionally tutoring a girl (20) who seems to have some (undiagnosed) learning disability. Yesterday, she dropped me some hints that she might be attracted to me. I find her physically attractive too, but I realize that, on paper, we are not a good match. The differences in terms of education and prospects are considerable. She is a dropout trying to return to high school, she also assists her sister at a modest beauty parlor, I am a nerdy graduate student. As a long-time single, it is probably mainly lust and loneliness which is encouraging me to consider suggesting meeting outside tutoring time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 34 answers

Overwhelming need for intimacy.

I've been really lonely the past year or two, and it's been very overwhelming how much I've missed being with someone. I romanticize women I come across and it always leads to disappointment. How do I stop doing this? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Nov 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Overcoming loneliness...

I've been dependent for most of my life, and I now find myself in a situation where I'm completely alone for huge spans of time. It's depressing. How can I overcome this? Any good resources, means to helping? [more inside]
posted by MMALR on Oct 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Does happy lifelong singledom exist?

At 30 and after almost a decade of being unable to click with anyone at a romantic level, I'm starting to consider the possibility of my having to live as a single for the rest of the journey. Not that I plan to quit trying in the near future, but given the poor results so far, I am trying to imagine and anticipate what perpetual singledom may be, especially as one grows older. My questions are related to the possibilities for happiness, fulfillment and emotional stability while chronically single. Are they real? Do you think a person can be alone all his/her life and have a meaningful and fulfilling life? I have a clear sense of what sort of contributions I want to try to make to my environment and society, but I wonder if this purpose will be enough to keep my life motivation burning as I get older supposing that I do stay alone. [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Sep 29, 2013 - 23 answers

Guess vs Ask, grieving edition

Dealing with grief, unsure how to ask friends for support, if at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Suppose you're never going to have any friends for the rest of your life

I have no friends. I have no reason to believe I'll ever have any friends. Is it even possible to have a worthwhile life? [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Aug 23, 2013 - 164 answers

Talk to me!

I have a job that currently bores me greatly, with lots of down time during the day. A coworker and I started texting during our workday recently, and I find it entertains me and passes the time, in addition to pushing a few of my other buttons. Unfortunately this relationship has gone a bit sour so I'm looking for a similar situation and I'm wondering if there's an easy solution. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2013 - 11 answers

How To Keep My Morale Up When I've Never Had Any Type Of Relationship

How can I cope with the weight of being single pretty much my whole life (29 years old) - it's wearing me down and killing my self esteem. A few snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2013 - 19 answers

How can you tell whether or not your problems are self-created?

You know when someone is complaining about something and the reason for their trouble is SUPER OBVIOUS? Like when a guy you've just met moans, "Why don't I have a girlfriend?" and in his next breath makes a joke about domestic violence? Or when your friend confides that she can't meet anyone in a new city, yet nixes Meetup groups or clubs? Or when your coworker is constantly sick and blames it on germs in the office, when he's been pulling all-nighters and subsisting on Cheetos for the last month? [more inside]
posted by whenbynowandtreebyleaf on Jul 12, 2013 - 20 answers

I feel lonely

I've moved to Tokyo a couple of months ago for grad school and while I love it, I was suddenly overcome by a wave of severe loneliness and homesickness last week, and it won't go away. Also, when I came here, I finally found a boyfriend (I was single for the first 24 years of my life), but lately, he just makes me feel lonelier than I already am... [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Jul 8, 2013 - 31 answers

How do extroverts deal with unexpected alone time?

I'm an extrovert. I can't stand alone time. At all. This may be due to a recent falling out with a few friends making me feel lonelier than usual - I don't know. But recently any large gaps of alone time has made me feel incredibly depressed, often to the point of tears. Extroverts, how do you handle being alone? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jun 30, 2013 - 19 answers

Loneliness and OKCupid, part 2

A few weeks ago I, a hetero male in his early 30s, asked about dating and using OKCupid with some restrictions: no kids, no religion, no alcohol being the main ones. This is a follow-up to that AskMe, but going beyond OKCupid. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on Jun 8, 2013 - 70 answers

Isolation, Linguistically & Socially: the 4 Year Edition.

This past late March marked four years of living in Quebec. It has also marked more or less four years of isolation. This needs to change. A myriad of snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by Kitteh on Jun 4, 2013 - 28 answers

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - A time for solitude?

Is there a time to be alone/ How to feel like life is meaningful when I am mostly alone? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on May 21, 2013 - 13 answers

How did you handle lonely nights after your divorce?

My days are full, though sometimes full of heart-ache. At night, once the pets and child are asleep, I am alone. Going out is not an option, and sometimes books, music and movies just aren't going to cut it. Did anyone find something surprising or helpful to them after a breakup that might help me get more comfortable with my alone time?
posted by SarahBellum on May 17, 2013 - 18 answers

Completely clueless (Sigh.)

What does the process of finding a life partner look like? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Apr 30, 2013 - 45 answers

Dealing with pangs of loneliness

I really miss the affection, romantic interest and even just the regular physical touch of another human being. I'm going through several life transitions and can't really start a relationship until at least the fall, but how do I tide over the desperate feelings of loneliness until then? I don't want casual sex or a pet. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 27, 2013 - 17 answers

How do I figure out who I am? Post-breakup and no friends

Just out of a short-ish relationship, the standard advice is "do things you like", "hang out with your friends". All the things I like are pretty solitary/not conducive to meeting people and I just don't have any friends, but I do want some, but I feel too crappy to figure out how to find some - see the circularity? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2013 - 10 answers

How Do I Learn to Stop Worrying and Love Art School?

Due to a mix of laziness, depression, social anxiety and loneliness, I'm not doing too great in school. I really need to get it together, and I just don't know how to do it. I feel tapped out at the end of the day and I'm tired of it. I like art, but going to school for it just isn't very fulfilling. I'm thinking I just need to get through it and I'll be okay, but how do I develop the work ethic that my classmates have? [more inside]
posted by malapropist on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

All the happy people in relationships will be busy that night

What can I do to make the evening of Valentine's Day in an online chatroom suck less for everyone involved? [more inside]
posted by Soliloquy on Feb 10, 2013 - 12 answers

How can I rebuild my college social life?

College freshman here. Friend from high school has, for lack of a better word, ruined my college social life. Looking for outside opinions on the situation in general. I'd truly appreciate any insight, advice, anecdotes, etc. Thank you! [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Feb 10, 2013 - 20 answers

Advice on dealing with feelings of loneliness and paranoia

I'm having a hard time dealing with feelings of profound loneliness and paranoia about the states of friendships which in turn affect my dreams and my moods (being a vivid dreamer) and I don't like the affect it has on my happiness. Is there any good literature or advice that you can give to help me conquer these feelings and appreciate what I have in my friends or branch out to finding others? Any communication advice to being clear with friends and alleviating my paranoia without insulting them or sounding weird? [more inside]
posted by Recca on Jan 22, 2013 - 6 answers

Move along?

So you survived your 20's, and part of it involved moving to a new city where you didn't know anyone. Recommended? [more inside]
posted by windbox on Dec 29, 2012 - 32 answers

Feeling ignored by my loved ones.

How do I deal with feeling ignored? [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Dec 25, 2012 - 19 answers

Monophobia

How do I get over my completely insane (and crippling) fear of spending time alone. [more inside]
posted by pandorasbox on Dec 25, 2012 - 13 answers

Hello from the bottom of a pit.

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a deep pit, and it will take a long series of successful maneuvers to get out of the pit. Other people's lives don't seem to be pit-shaped. Help me make this pit go away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2012 - 22 answers

How to cope with the holiday blues?

My little family doesn't care for Christmas like they used to, among other things. How can I avoid or learn to cope with the holiday blues this year? [more inside]
posted by ohmy on Nov 29, 2012 - 39 answers

Coping with social isolation after the end of a long relationship.

I had a serious relationship of about ten years that ended a bit more than a year ago. My SO was my sole source of human friendship and companionship. Now that I'm on the other side, I'm struggling. How do I cope with the lack of meaningful human interaction and what can I do to move towards something better? [more inside]
posted by prex on Nov 26, 2012 - 23 answers

I don't like being me

I have recently realized that I am a selfish person, and I'm afraid my selfishness has been sabatoging my chances at having lasting, fulfilling relationships. I'm also self-loathing, which doesn't help matters, either. [more inside]
posted by dean_deen on Nov 22, 2012 - 22 answers

Help me survive my twenties without completely losing my mind.

I'm a 24 year old lady with failed relationship woes. Help me stop feeling so crummy about myself and give me day-to-day ways to feel more centered, happy, and not-desperate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2012 - 9 answers

When is a marriage worth fighting for, and when to move on?

When is a marriage worth fighting for, and when to move on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2012 - 26 answers

Alone after an obsessive relationship, having trouble making friends in a sea of the elderly...

How do I make friends in an unfriendly place for young folks (18-20), and how can I make him believe that I've made changes to myself? [more inside]
posted by orchidgenes on Oct 6, 2012 - 13 answers

Sometimes living alone and sometimes not.

Advice for living sometimes alone and sometimes with someone I don’t particularly get on with. [more inside]
posted by sock of ages on Sep 30, 2012 - 12 answers

Life like Walden

After many years of living a very social life in a very big city I find myself living alone in a very remote part of the world. Seeking advice and insight into a life of solitude. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2012 - 15 answers

Avoidant personality disorder - more than just social anxiety?

I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I've never actually been diagnosed, but when you look at the behaviors and symptoms, there's really no question about it. What is my question is, can I fix it? Can I deal with it? What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2012 - 22 answers

Is there really more to life than this?

How do I stop feeling so lonely, and be excited again about the rest of life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2012 - 16 answers

Happiness is loneliness... cause I can't find this mix

You may be familiar with Dj Tomcraft and his song Loneliness. I'm searching for those exact same lyrics, but closer together and the song has more... tempo? [more inside]
posted by one4themoment on Jun 30, 2012 - 3 answers

Where should a single 26 year old guy look for work?

How can I decide where to settle down after graduating from grad school? I'm a 26 year old single guy and looking to plant roots. [more inside]
posted by Amistad on Jun 27, 2012 - 11 answers

Help me kick my TV habit, please?

I'm having problems with my escapism. How do I kick my TV addiction? [more inside]
posted by Loto on Jun 27, 2012 - 23 answers

What does "loneliness" feel like?

How does one know that they are feeling "lonely" vs "alone"? Have you encountered both and can you share how you overcame these feelings, if at all? [more inside]
posted by xm on Jun 12, 2012 - 13 answers

Lonely extrovert seeks MMO.

I'm a lonely extrovert looking to take the edge off the loneliness by playing an MMO. Which one should I play? [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Mar 29, 2012 - 11 answers

How does one become happy?

I feel like my depression and loneliness are growing worse and it's starting to become unmanageable. I could use some help or some advice or something. I'm not doing so well. [more inside]
posted by Modica on Mar 27, 2012 - 30 answers

I just want to wake up like a normal person

Existential panic in the mornings that subsides shortly after waking up. Is this just another stage in getting over a breakup? [more inside]
posted by sockomatic on Mar 17, 2012 - 14 answers

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