Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with life

Want to have a real college "experience" but limited to community college and a state school in a city I just don't like.

evanrodge — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:35:15 -0800

Want to have a real college "experience" but limited to community college and a state school in a city I just don't like. Ok, so please let me fill you in on the back story.

During my high school years I switched schools three times. I never really had a chance to make good friends at any of them, although I was a reasonably popular athlete.

My family was forced to move to Tennessee the summer before my senior year. I was struck with a reasonable bout of depression due to loneliness shortly after we moved down here. I still have a few friends from my senior year, but most of them have gone off to college somewhere else. I was so focused on making friends and doing social stuff that I totally neglected my college search during this time. So my dad, who was a star college athlete, pressured me significantly to play lacrosse on scholarship. He talked about that non-stop, day in, day out. So finally I just settled on a small school in NC where I could play.

For my freshman year of college I went to a small school where I was to play DII lacrosse. I then realized that playing lacrosse was something I did as a kid, not what I wanted to do all during my college years. After my first semester there, my mom got really sick, so I decided to just come home and go to community college until she recovered.

This summer has been a total mess. I got accepted back to my small school (LMC) and also a larger state school - UT Chattanooga. However, I can no longer afford to go to LMC because I wouldn't be playing lacrosse for them.

I just visited Chattanooga, and I have to say that I really don't like it there. Its a big city with an outdated school, and I don't know anyone there.

So now I'm stuck. I just want to go to a real school where I can have a real college experience, but its too late to apply anywhere else, and by the time next spring semester rolls around I will have lost a whole year and a half of my college 'life'. I just want to have real friends and have some fun for once.

What do I do now?

I'm stuck in beta

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:41:02 -0800

I have spent years reading self-help books, productivity blogs, self-help productivity blogs. I’ve found some treasured information and they have probably helped me in more ways than I’m conscious of, but… What now? I mean, how does one apply all this info? I get to the implementation stage, and I freeze because I can’t remember which question I need to ask to get an authentic answer, how to break it down into manageable steps, which bucket it should go into, which three steps I take to counter my negative thought, etc etc. And then I get distracted by a new Steve Pavlina entry on my RSS reader. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s very frustrating.

I’ve gone through several of those major life-changing events in the past 6 months or so: death of a parent (which, while unexpected and very, very sad, has been the catalyst for a rediscovery of appreciation in my life and is part of what’s pushing me to try to “live fully”), new job. Blah.

My motivation feels all shot to hell, and I feel like I’m just doing what I need to do to get by. I worry that life is passing me by. I know these major life-changing events are certainly having an impact there, but I just don’t know what to do, how to move forward without cheating myself out of healing time, knowing when to move forward.

And, I’ve started to wonder: what’s my goal anyway? What does the super-productive, creative, self-assured me look like? I feel like I’m being bombarded with different versions of the ideal every single day, and I don’t know what to choose.

Great, absorbing books and films showing life in different times and places

MetaMonkey — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 03:53:00 -0800

I'd like to broaden my horizons by getting a better understanding of life in different cultures and time periods. Please recommend great books or films (fiction or non-fiction) which paint a broad, immersive, reasonably accurate picture of a place and time. The question is inspired by recently seeing a fascinating film called Atanarjuat, which spends a lot of time showing Inuit life.

Sorts of things I'm looking for: family life, relationships, spirituality, arts, economics... the whole deal.

Other examples of times and places: medieval europe, pre-history anywhere, roman empire, modern rural India... but anywhere and anywhen, as long as the portrayl is good and vivid.

i can has fountain of youth plz?

logic vs love — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:42:25 -0800

I have a passing fascination with the concept of immortality. Where can I read more about scientific studies, crackpot theories, or even good works of fiction dealing with increasing human lifespans and/or living forever?

What am I doing?

MayNicholas — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:29:05 -0800

I decided to change careers and go back to school for a PhD... I recently got back on touch with an old friend who I always admired. He is living the life of riley in another country. Now I'm doubting why I am even back in school. Help me with my doubt... His life seems so great. He goes out and parties almost every night, has adventures in the rain forest, volunteers for endangered species camps and seems so content. I feel a bit jealous. Why and I killing myself for a PhD when he can live the comfortable life of my dreams without a serious job? Why is he (through no fault of his) making me feel like I am wasting my time? Help me justify why I am doing this...

Help me get the hell out of Dodge (or rather, Arizona) and on track to feeling good again!

actionpact — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:10:22 -0800

My life is stuck and it's making me feel incredibly depressed. Help me see the light and get on track for getting out of here. This is long and a mess, and if you read it all the way through you're a champ because I feel like there's no simple catch-all answer to my problem. (I thank you in advance!)

I'm feeling this huge weight on myself that I just can't figure out how to shake. I'm relatively young (25 on Tuesday!) and a girl, and I moved cross country from CT to AZ two years ago to shorten up a long-distance relationship. Stupidly though, I really wanted to be carless, due to environmental and financial concerns. Since then I've spent most of my time being self-employed as an illustrator-- I love what I do, but so far I'm not being successful enough to stand on my own two feet. Jobs come sporadically, and checks come even more so. This is a huge point of stress for me, but I've always been told it takes a lot of time and effort to get off the ground, so I've been mostly okay with that. But the financial concerns are big. The mister has been really supportive and pays most of the expenses, but I'm still struggling over student loans and some small credit card debt. I bought myself a tricycle a year ago (didn't know how to ride a real bike, still don't yet) and it helped with my sanity level. I figured I could get around a little more and get a part time job to supplement things. But it got stolen a month and a half ago and I'm once again effectively a shut-in. Except for mister actionpact's friends, I really haven't met anyone here (despite some small efforts of trying), and certainly no one I feel close to, and no one I can be creative with. My close friends are scattered across the country now, and I miss them constantly.

Since I moved out here, I held two part time jobs-- each lasted slightly under a month and then I just quit, not showing up to work again. To be fair the reasons weren't totally offbase-- one I quit because my dad was in the hospital and I thought I'd need to go home, and the other I quit because it was too far for me to bike (nearly passed out in the process) in the dead of summer. But still, I'm embarrassed at the way I just ditched those jobs. Very unprofessional. I tried to apply to some more jobs around here since then but so far have found nothing. The jobs I've applied to never phone back. I figured that owning my own business and being self-employed would be a plus, but I'm afraid I'm unemployable. I can't seem to figure out what kind of useful skills I do have, so it makes the job hunt hard. I'm nice and friendly, though I'm not especially pretty, so I have been turned down from waitressing jobs, for example. I'm also afraid to look for a full time job because I know myself and I would probably slack on my creative efforts if I put my whole time into another job. Plus, I don't like it here, and I'm afraid to settle into a job and get stuck here. (Irrational? Sure!) I know I'm depressed about this all, and could use some therapy, but to make matters worse I'm uninsured, and the only therapist I could get to currently I can't really afford.

I know I'm young, and I know that things aren't entirely hopeless; fortunately I've been blessed with supportive family and my boyfriend, and I have an unsinkable optimism that things will eventually turn around. But I still feel pretty darn trapped right now. It's causing mild strain to my relationship which could further escalate, and I really don't want that. I started seriously exercising last week to help with the depression levels and feel more energetic. I just don't know what else I should do. A friend offered to teach me how to drive, and I believe we have a spare car I could use. But I've been so reluctant to do so. I don't know if it's the fact I'm already broke so the cost of gas seems impossible, or my own strong feelings on the subject of car use. Maybe there's something I could donate to in order to offset the emissions once I had more money. I've tried really hard to be carfree, but maybe I can't win this fight. This is a car place, so maybe I just have to live with the guilt for now.

Well, anyway I know this is long and I must apologize in advance (but it does feel good to vent). I know there are lots of people who have it much worse, so this kind of feeling mostly just makes me want to kick my own ass. But I know I'm not living up to my potential and it's making me sad, because I know there's a lot of good I could do if I were less afraid and more in control of my life. Mister actionpact and I both agree this is not the place for me; I hate it here really. I keep wanting to make a change (like move to someplace like Portland OR, or go to grad school at the School of Visual Arts in NYC) but I just don't know how to get there at this point. Any suggestions of what I should do? I know people say 'if you have an idea, make the leap! It can't hurt' or something like that--but it's really hard when I'm clouded by depression and loneliness and financial strains.

And maybe on a more specific note, could you answer this question? When I apply to jobs I don't know how to bring up the subject of those two jobs from the past. A friend of mine told me that these are crap jobs and you don't have to write these down, but more and more places have background checks so I don't know. Sometimes I don't write them down as part of my job history, sometimes I do. Either way I haven't gotten any work out of it-- not sure whether it's due to a lie of omission or the bad portrait it paints of me. I am a good worker, I just can't figure out how to show them this.

Thanks in advance. I've read a lot of helpful questions already but I still feel incredibly stuck, so I hope I can make 25 a better year than 23 and 24 have been!

How to stop being a miserable wretch and start living

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:20:52 -0800

I seriously need some inspiration here. I'm female, 32, single, miserable in my job, cannot seem to get it together, and don't seem to find enough hours in the day to simply HANDLE MY LIFE. Ok, I know this question has been tackled in various forms over time, but I seriously need some inspiration here. I'm female, 32, single, miserable in my job, cannot seem to get it together, and don't seem to find enough hours in the day to simply HANDLE MY LIFE. I'm obsessing over the guy who just dumped me, my friends are all getting married and having babies, and I live alone in a wreck of an apartment, struggling to pay off mountains of student loans and sinking further into a depression. I've been seeing a psychologist, who has helped. I've been exercising tons, which has helped. But I just saw photos of myself that actually frightened me because over the past year I have declined so much physically that I barely recognize myself. I look old and tired and faded. I feel frustrated and alone and ugly and terrified.

I know: Boo-hoo. I understand that this is life, that these feelings and the experience of aging are not unique to me. But I feel like I need to make some radical changes and I do not even know where to begin. If it was as simple as getting a new job, I'd do it. If it meant getting a new apartment, great. If packing up my belongings and moving to Sri Lanka would help, I'd, y'know, give it some thought? I just don't know. I volunteer. I eat healthy. I socialize. I'm just not getting anywhere.

Any ideas on how to come back to life again?

Who's the woman speaking on NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta"?

redteam — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:50:00 -0800

Who is the woman sampled speaking on NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta"? She says "hopin' you sophisticated motherfuckers here what I have to say", "he'll fuck up you and yours - and anything that gets in his way", and "he'll just call you a lowlife motherfucker and talk about your funky ways." I've checked http://www.the-breaks.com/ and the samples section on "Straight Outta Compton's" Wikipedia page.

I remember at Lollapalooza '93 in Los Angeles, the sound guys played the source of those samples in between bands. It was like a series of speeches by a woman. I'd really like to hear it in its entirety but I've never been able to find it.

Life Coach?

mbarryf — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:08:20 -0800

What do you specifically call a coach who can help a young adult be less klutzy in his/her walking, mannerisms, dress, etc? Are there such coaches? How can I find one?

How do you manipulate the system?

JimmyJames — Mon, 26 May 2008 15:44:00 -0800

What sorts of code words, specific language or techniques are used in your industry, profession, or area of expertise that can be used to manipulate the system? Or, what sorts of tricks have you found that work in similar ways? Recent events got me wondering about professional secrets, codewords, specific language and passwords. My mother was recently in the hospital with a broken leg. Her friend (whose father was Chief of Staff at a major hospital) explained that when asked how much pain she was in to say "7" because seven was the supposed threshold for the admissions doctor to consider administering drugs.

My good friend called into work saying he was sick with "explosive diarrhea" and was told to under no circumstances should he come to work.

My uncle put added the fact that he is a Reverend of the Universal Life Church to the front of his drivers license and now gets treated differently every time someone asks for ID. These can't be the only time or place that specific language can help in navigating the endless bureaucratic systems of life. I'm interested in the tricks that you've learned in your life to help game the system.

Doctor or Doctorate? To-may-to, To-mah-to?

Eudaimonia — Sun, 25 May 2008 02:39:05 -0800

What does it take to be a doctor (MD)? And what does it take to be a doctor (PhD)? Torn about what path to pursue, Background: studied psyc in college, am currently finishing up in public health. Obviously, I need a third degree.

My first reading for pleasure books were psychiatric non-fiction. I love psychology. I love psychiatry. I have, at various times, dreamt of being a neurologist, a psychiatrist, a psychologist (clinical, neuro-, or research). I’ve finally figured out that what truly fascinates me is elucidating mental processes by way of studying those with deficits or diseases – we’ve learned a whole lot about memory, for example, from Alzheimer’s patients.

I love people. Really, I do. I love learning, too. I want to find out more about why we do what we do and tell the world. I want to be the next Oliver Sacks. And yes, of course, I want to heal and help (though issues of self efficacy and fear of having someone’s life and/or mental health in my hands are a bit frightening)

Currently am torn between pursuing pre-med studies and doing more research (which I’m not keen on honestly, but that’s another post), trying to decide between clinical psyc. PhD or MD. I have perused the studentdoctor forums but am looking for the opinions of seasoned MDs and PhDs – what place does your profession have for a person like me?

Tools for Life

sirion — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:59:19 -0800

Tools for Life: The last [blank] you'll ever need to buy. After Allclad replaced my nonstick pan for the price of shipping when the notoriously short-lasting nonstick surface started flaking away after a year or two, I started wondering what other companies have similarly good warranties and similarly good (or better!) quality.

What is "living life to the fullest"?

mintchip — Fri, 23 May 2008 11:12:00 -0800

What is "living life to the fullest"? How to do it? Sometimes I get bored by my life. I am not in the habit of doing a lot of activities outside the home (partly because of a limited budget). Also, it's easy to get stuck in a routine and get too busy with life's responsibilities. I am always thinking about future goals and often forget to enjoy the moment. This seems to be in large part a symptom of modern life. Sometimes, too, I feel pressured to make the "responsible" choice rather than the enjoyable one. For example, I probably could do a more traveling, but that would mean I might not get to save enough for retirement.

Recently I was wondering what I would do if I knew I only had one year left to live. The only thing I could really think of was traveling! Probably I would also watch less TV since I don't think it really enriches my life.

This is a two part question:

1. What is YOUR definition of living life to the fullest? What activities would you be sure to add to your life? What would you change?

2. How can someone get out of a routine/rut and discover new, fun and interesting things to do?

Who am I?

hadjiboy — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:03:39 -0800

A Crisis of Identity? All my life, I've been the sort of person to avoid my faith to a certain extent (I would pray and try and be as good a muslim as I could, but there was always so much more I could do, and I knew it). Recently, I've met someone who's awakened that desire in me to finally make the commitment, and it feels great to have begun to do so, but there's another side of me that feels like I'm (I don't even know how to say it...) cheating on it... It feels really weird to be in this sort of position. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, and I don't want to give up on either one of them completely (although I do feel very strongly about my faith now) I have this huge guilt of letting that part of my life go which has been with me for the past 28 years.

What should I do? Do I bury the past and move on with the future, or do I try and create some kind of balance between the two--which would be extremely hard and kind of mentally torturing in a schizophrenic sort of way. I already have enough mental problems as it is so I don't want to be adding to the pile, but I would like some reflection on this subject by people who have been in a similar position and have had to deal with these kinds of feelings of loss and confusion.

Thanks in advance.

Being the bright kid at 30

dcrocha — Sat, 17 May 2008 20:18:40 -0800

I would like to be the bright kid again, but I've just turned 30. What should I do? To make a very long story short: I was always the bright student, the one who'd have an amazing future, study in the best universities, get the highest paid jobs and be rich. I was also supposed to discover the cure of cancer, or at least have enough money to pay somebody to do so. Jokes aside, now.

During primary & high school, I studied in many different cities and schools but my results were the same: a perfect GPA , many compliments from teachers, many prizes, etc. In my country we must take a mandatory exam for each college you're applying to. I have applied to one of the best and got in without much effort.

During my first two years, still the bright kid: straight A's, few friends, "the one with the bright future" and all that crap. Then, in the 3rd. year of college, I decided I'd had enough of that sh*tty course and dropped out, going to work for an Internet startup instead.

Forwarding it to the present, so I won't bore you to death, I made a reasonably successful career as a software developer, working curently as a systems engineer for one of the greatest companies in the world, earning a decent (not fantastic) salary, and as I had some time to spare in the past 3 years, I finished a degree (with the same low level of interest) so I could have a diploma.

All seemed well, but a couple of weeks back I was flying to the U.S. reading my fave magazine ("Economist"), and took a more detailed look at its jobs section, which features many great jobs at the world's most prestigious companies and organizations such as the UN, European Comission, etc. Then I was struck by a lightning, having instantly realized I wasn't qualified for any of those positions. I got depressed.

The following week, I was in Boston for business and as I had a free Saturday I decided to have a look at the Harvard square. Pretty nice place, but I only got more depressed realizing I will never be part of such a community because I stopped being the bright kid the moment I dropped out of college, 10 years ago.

I am very proud of having taught myself everything I know, professionally-wise: English, Spanish, computer programming, etc. However I became very sad since this last trip, as I realized I'm just one more in the crowd, my predicted "bright future" didn't happend and I'm here having a standard corporate job, which I tolerate (but don't love), when I feel I could be doing much more with my life, had I followed the path "originally" planned for me.

I have already tasted having a normal life with a normal career. I'd like to see what my life would be if I become again the bright kid I once was.

How do I do that?

Can I turn myself into a homebody?

lbergstr — Sat, 17 May 2008 06:48:11 -0800

Applying for a job with a non-profit based in Kenya. Amazing opportunity, I'm very excited about it. Biggest concern I have is spending 2+ years living in a very isolated community, with only half a dozen other native English speakers. How can I stay happy and sane there? I think of myself as a highly social introvert - good friends and meeting new people are important to me. I've always lived in big cities for that reason.

If I'm offered and I accept the job, I'd be moving to a village in Kenya that has 6-10 other NGO workers; it's two hours from the nearest village with a bar and other expats. The cultural gap with the locals is wide. The interviewer said that the people that do best there have some sort of hobby that can absorb them.

The job is a two-year+ committment and I wouldn't want to back out.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? I don't mean the people that were already happy spending all their evenings quietly at home, I mean the people that go out to see friends almost every night. Did anyone make a transition to a quiet village life happily, and if so, how?

I am 21 and bored with life

thegmann — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:45:52 -0800

I am 21, male, and I'm pretty bored with life, I feel stressed about doing nothing. I am having trouble figuring out what it is I really want to do with all of the time I have right now, and I've definitely been stagnating. Give me some advice! I've run a small computer business since I was about 14, and now I've gotten completely bored with it, but I have so much of it automated and outsourced at this point I really do very little (probably 4-6 hours a week) and all of my bills get paid, and I have enough to let me be comfortable for the month (hang with friends, go out, etc.). I recently got my motorcycle license because riding a motorcycle sounds like a ton of fun to me and I've been looking at motorcycles but I can't afford to pay cash for one. I don't want to take on the debt of a loan for something I could possibly destroy within weeks of owning it.

I've always been very motivated but I tend to love having a creative outlet. In high school I was in every play I could get into and I would take extracurricular classes that sounded interesting. I didn't apply for any schools after high school as I was working, but now I am planning on starting at my local CC come fall because I miss the social environment school gave me. In my current work I don't meet anyone new and my daily life is for the most part spent inside or out with my old high school buddies doing nothing very productive.

I have a huge urge to travel but again money comes to mind. I don't want to get a salaried job- I've only worked one in my entire life and while it was an interesting place to be in it didn't challenge me at all.

I feel like I'm just rambling now, I know I'm lucky to be in the position I'm in, I'm in Southern California with all of the time in the world, given my position, what would you do?

Which books are most representative of each city?

reenum — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:21:37 -0800

What one book will allow others to gain the truest insight into the soul of each city or region Inspired by this recent Metafilter post and blatantly stealing the idea (and some text) from this AskMe post, I have decided to try and read a book about all of the major cities in the United States and the world. I've seen AskMe's in the past about various cities, such as London and New York.

So: which single book from each city is most revealing of the lifestyle, customs, struggles, and spirit of that nation? I lived in San Francisco a while back, and I would recommend any of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City' books to get a true idea of life in the City.

Just the three of us

hadjiboy — Mon, 05 May 2008 22:45:45 -0800

Single mom/Single parent: How does one go about building a lasting relationship with a single mother, to show her that you will not only be there for her, but also for her son? (She's 22, and he's under five I'm assuming.) I'm pretty good with kids, but have no experience what-so-ever dealing with a child whose father is not in the picture. (We haven't yet discussed it in length, so I don't know the specifics of who the biological dad is, but I do know that this woman is special, and if there's any chance in hell--I would really, Really like to take things forward with her the best way I can.) Also, for any of the Single Parents out there: what's the best way to proceed in doing this. We've already started talking and have got a good rapport going, and I don't want to mess things up by asking the wrong questions (eg: when do I bring up the topic of her son in a little bit of detail?).

Thank you to anyone in advance who can shed some light on this for me. Much appreciated!

The Secret of Happiness?

zenja72 — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:34:44 -0800

How can I find more about this secret to happiness (and is it really true)? I just heard an excerpt from 60 Minutes, where "Morley Safer finds out why the Danes are considered the happiest people on earth". The secret? That they have realistic expectations, and are contented with the present situtation, etc.

Where can I read more about this, and these sorts of ideas? Is there any criticism of these studies? Your two cents?

What. to. do.

brynna — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:49:45 -0800

How can I reconcile two different and conflicting plans for my future? (long-ish explanation) I'm about to graduate from college and have been thinking a lot about my "future" as it were. I'm graduating with a degree in Literature and a vested interest and passion for education. I also work in a restaurant to make money.

I've worked in restaurants for a few years now and love the subculture, carefree attitude and flexibility that it affords. Recently, I've considered moving to Hawaii when I graduate and just spending time there, working in a restaurant (the place I work for has multiple locations in Hawaii - Roy's) and hiking, surfing and cooking during the days.

I've also considered joining Teach for America or a similar organization after graduating and going straight to the classroom. I'm really passionate about education and am an advocate for educational reform, especially in under-resourced schools.

The problem is basically this: I would love to go to Hawaii and THEN start teaching in a classroom (I feel a little ridiculous jumping into a classroom and spouting out life-lessons at 21), but I can't shake the feeling of selfishness and guilt at not devoting everything to the cause. I guess I'm trying to decide whether my life for the next few years should be a sensual or a humanitarian one.

Can anyone recommend some books, articles, etc that would help me find some direction? Also if there are any teachers that have experience teaching straight out of college, would you recommend it? I just need some perspective and general life advice at this point.

what should i do with my life / non-religious guidance needed

rawwell — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:35:08 -0800

I am a little out of sorts sorting out my life as it is. Please give me some advice on how I should go about life in my thirties. I am 29, male, an average office worker.
I vaguely understand that there is no deterministic meaning to life.

I currently go from day to day
with the following (suboptimal) behavioral guidelines.

1. chase down every temporary high
2. continue on my quest for wealth

I want to find a more satisfying motive to go on with my life.

Please give me some advice/pointers on how to find a more
fulfilling objective.

elusive photos and article

mustcatchmooseandsquirrel — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:11:26 -0800

Where can I find an article from 1971 Life magazine? (if it exists) In my research, I've found that Life magazine was hanging around Lawrence, KS taking photos of a major drug bust done by Vern Miller on Feb. 26 1971. The fact that there was a photographer from Life was mentioned in pretty much every single article abotu this event that I have read. However, when I went to look at March 1971 Life magazines, neither the photos nor an article about the topic were to be found.

I don't know if there are several Life magazines or if this article was never published or what, but if anyone has any leads, I would appreciate it.

Fighting Blubber—The Gym Reassurance Questions.

wildrain2008 — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 08:06:36 -0800

Fighting Blubber—The Gym Reassurance Questions. INFORMATION:
=================

Background: So here's the deal, during late high school and early college I hit the gym on and off for a month or so, always breaking my routine and never getting the the exact point that I wanted to reach—which was getting cut like B. Lee but with a bit more mass.
After college work left me drained so even though I had time to hit the gym after.. I rarely did.

Negative Result: The result of not hitting the gym was not so much as getting overweight (I have a relatively fast metabolism) but rather the addition of blubber... that fat over the 6 pack and the love handles and especially Gluteus Maximus.

Resolution: After a year I switched jobs (on my new job 5 months now) and I've forced myself to get back into shape—watching my diet and resurrecting my gym routine. My current weight is 190lbs, I guess that's not so bad for a guy who's 5'11. But there's definitely has room for improvement from what I've read.

The Stalling: So I've been hitting the gym 3 days a week for almost 2 months now. My routine involves 30 mins of jogging or stationary bike, followed by 45 mins to an hour of weight lifting.

Weightlifting Routine breakdown:

Bench Press: 3 sets/ min 127lbs max 157lbs
Lat Pull Down: 3 sets/ min 90lbs max 100lbs
Sitting Bicep Curl: 3 sets/ 22.5lbs
Tricep Pull Down: 3 sets/ 40lbs
Dumbell Shoulder Press: 3 sets/ 30lbs
Butterfly: 3 sets/ 110lbs
Shoulder Machine: 3 sets/ 70lbs
Glutes Leg Press: 3 sets/ 260lbs
Abb Death Circuit: 3 sets of: hard medicine Ball leg lift, large medicin ball crunches (lying on top), standing oblique lifts (45lbs each side)

Positive Results: I've noticed definition on my body in general and the showing of the 3pack lol upper abbs.

Again my goal still remains to: to get cut up but have a bit more mass than just the average kung-fu fighter lol.

QUESTIONS:
=============

I know that 2 months at the gym is a short time for me to expect major results, but I would really love to get rid of the blubber that is still covering the results that I'm trying so hard to improve (aka the muscles and the tone that is slowly appearing.. again very slowly lol).

1. How many moths do I have to wait to see substantial results aka the evaporation of this darn flab?

2. Is there anything I can do to improve the weight loss but not damage my other goal (building mass)?

3. My brother after a year of swimming completely transformed his body, would adding maybe 1 or 2 days of pool to my overall routine damage or improve the results I'm striving towards?

END NOTES:
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I told myself this time that I'm never quiting gym again.. and it looks like I've caught the gym bug as I get antsy (like an addict) towards the end of my work.. to get back into the gym.. :)

Andy advice is always helpful.

What Could I Do With My 2009?

divabat — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:03:03 -0800

This year's my final year of my degree. My psychologist asked me if I had any plans for next year. My original plan fell apart, so now I don't really have anything. Hmm. What could I look into? So I didn't get shortlisted for the Danish KaosPilots. Ouch. I'm still sad about it, but I've had two weeks to brood about it and it's time to move on.

Since I had been so single-mindedly focused on that one goal for the past six months, I didn't really consider Plans B, C, and so on. (I did consider that it would be a possibility, but I didn't spend too much time on it.) I had been pretty worn out from all that preparation and planning, so I'm taking at least this month off from anything along the lines of "my future" and just do random things for a while. If something strikes me as interesting, I'd apply for it, but I won't devote much time or energy on it.

I do still have to think about next year though. This is my final year; I'm finishing off all my required subjects this sem and have 4 electives free next semester. Deciding what to do after university isn't really a clear-cut process, as there are a few complex factors that need to be considered.

While I don't think I'm quite ready to devote my entire life to one pursuit (like I did before), and I don't want to commit to something just yet, I'd like to explore my options and just take a look at what seems interesting.

I'm interested in young people, non-traditional education, culture, community work, and making a difference. What could I do? What could I explore?

Some ideas:

1. Apply for the KaosPilots in Rotterdam (The Netherlands) - it starts roughly around the same time as the Denmark school, but they seem a lot more excited about potentially having me (though I don't want to get my heart broken again!!)

2. Do a Masters or a Grad Dip in something - some courses that look interesting and are more the kind of stuff I'm interested in are the Non-Profit/Philantrophy stream in QUT's Business programs (though I'm ineligible because they're part-time); International Comparative Education and Policy, Organization, and Leadership Studies in Stanford; Arts in Youth and Community Development in Columbia College Chicago; SIT Graduate Programs; Humane Education. Possibly also education in general, social work, or counselling. I'd rather it be more experiential and real-world as I'm sick of academic writing and learn best by doing, but I'm not sure how to search out this information.

3. Get a job in Australia. The main problem here is visas - to be eligible for the 18-month bridging visa, my job has to pay me at least $40,000/year - next to impossible for entry level, especially in the creative industries/community services which are underfunded. The other option is to be sponsored by a company, but they need to have a lot of resources to prove that I'm better than any Australian candidate, and most of the companies that would otherwise be an excellent fit just can't afford to do so.

4. Get a job in Malaysia. No visa issues, but prospects are pretty low as there aren't as many opportunities.

5. Take some of my ideas and make them real (so this would also involve research on funding, project management, how I'll survive while I plan out my project...)

6. Apply for my dream job at UWP, if it's available

7. Take up the partial scholarship from The Scholar Ship and travel for a sem - might need to reapply though. Alternatively, travel on similar programs (though funding would be an issue)

8. Take up BrainStore's traineeship offer - 3 months in Switzerland. It's actually meant for this August but I could defer it.

9. Apply for a fellowship to something - I've applied to a couple that don't require much travel (and pay expenses if I have to). Sauve Scholars would be COOL. I'm not sure where to search for these though - most of the ones I find require you to already have a project in mind, but I want to find a project I can get involved with.

10. Stay at home, mooch off the parents. While desirable by my parents (who sometimes have Empty Nest Syndrome) I would be bored very quickly.

11. Travel, though this would eat up money mainly in visa fees (damn Bangladesh passport).

12. Do a second degree in something, or a random course that's more for fun than anything else

13. Try to be famous for...something.

As I've said before, I'm most interested in exploring possibilities than anything else, so feel free to toss me any suggestions - schools, programs, people, countries (particularly those not picky with visas), companies, visa advice, etc. Most of the best/most interesting ones tend to be US-specific, so anything that allows internationals would be best (e.g. an international City Year or Peace Corps).

If nothing else, just looking at all the ideas would get me a little more excited about life and lift me out from my dumps!

Thank you!