I'm getting married in the fall, and I'm also a queer, nonbinary person (assigned female at birth). I'm planning on wearing a suit, and I'd really like to have one custom made. I'd also like to avoid any gender-policing BS from potential tailors, so I'm looking for suggestions. If anyone knows of any shops in Southern Ontario (Greater Toronto Area would be ideal) that are known to be LGBT friendly, I would greatly appreciate being pointed in their direction!
Soon my husband will begin publicly transitioning. I want my coworkers to start addressing him as my husband in casual conversation, but I'm kind of at a loss for the protocols or tactics for such an announcement. [more inside]
Any ideas on where I can find a reasonably accurate estimate of the LGBT Youth population in the St. Louis metropolitan area? I've tried several things (listed inside) but keep coming up empty. [more inside]
We're NYCers going on a 2 week trip to Toronto on the 26th. We've never been! What are the new exciting sites? The old established stuff? (Again, we've never been!) We like history, werid engineering dork stuff, movie stuff, dive bars, gayness, unusual stores and secondhand vintage menswear. We don't drive, but we'd like a nice trip out of town by train or even bus. Exciting cuisine a must overall. [more inside]
At our last session my therapist alluded to God in an entirely benign way but it still leaves me wondering whether I -- as an irreligious gay man -- should start shopping elsewhere. [more inside]
I've really been enjoying living in China, but I've been wanting to get out of the house and go on dates. I would love advice on dating across language and culture barriers, especially for LGBT people. [more inside]
I've managed to put off coming out to my parents as transgender for close to a year now. I'm 22 and have spent the majority of the last 4 years studying and volunteering abroad. Coming home last summer (to live with my parents, I should add) I thought I'd finally felt prepared enough to tell them what I'd been trying so desperately to hide from them. Over nine months later now I still haven't "gotten around to it", I guess. [more inside]
Some cultures foster majority-held, strongly anti-LGBT beliefs, and some do not, and religion doesn't seem to be the source of these attitudes, just a justification for them. Considering all this, what cultural forces account for anti-LGBT attitudes? What are the origins of these beliefs? [more inside]
What personal development strategies/hacks would you recommend for somebody preparing to adopt as a single working mother in 3-4 years? Special snowflakes inside, general advice welcome too! [more inside]
Say you're in a committed monogamous relationship. Your partner has a friend with whom they once had a one-night-stand, which was a singular event at the start of the friendship. This friend is close with your partner, and they discuss personal things like sex, and talk regularly. Is this ok, or not? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
I'm gay and my husband and I are concerned about the safety of our 13-year-old niece who is in a relationship with another girl. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have reacted very poorly to learning about this. What we can do for his niece? [more inside]
I am a trans man and I am legally changing my name and gender marker in 2 weeks. I have still not come out at work. I am extremely anxious about this and want to hear other people's experiences. Preferably from the trans person perspective, but also HR or managers of trans people, especially in white collar environments. [more inside]
As my life unfolds, there is in the short term a growing likelihood I may need to seek residential treatment / hospitalization for major depression. I’m finding it very hard to do research, as most easily accessible search engine results appear (to me) to have been gamed or SEO’d, and what few respectable websites I do come across are barebones or tight-lipped. Perhaps this is because of a wider turn from institutionalization or residential treatment. But still I have questions, and I’d be grateful for any insight... [more inside]
For some reason my mom decided it would be a great idea to let her married, lesbian daughter know that even though she supports gay marriage, she "sees Kim Davis'" point of view and thinks she should have the right to a religious exemption, or that she should "have the right" to keep her job because "the rules of her job changed". I was shocked in the moment and don't feel like I explained the case well. Now I'm looking for one good, objective resource that will explain this situation better. [more inside]
My niece mentioned/complained to me recently that there is very little YA lit for and about lesbians. I took a look on goodreads and found a couple of lists with what appear to be a nice selection of books. However, on reading further, I'd like to narrow the list down to actually well-written or otherwise reasonably good books. Any thoughts? [more inside]
The Wikipedia list of "LGBT people from New York" includes Howard Stern. I don't think the "LGBT" part is accurate, but I don't see any way to edit it. How can I fix this? [more inside]
I’m ordering 300ish books for a children’s library. After reading this thread asking for books featuring feminist-anti-racist-queer-ally characters I realised that our collection is full of books focusing on straight, white (usually male) youth in nuclear families and it’s seriously lacking. Can you folks recommend any books to help me improve our collection? [more inside]
I work as a director in for an equality non-profit in my state. There is money for travel and registration for trainings, conferences, etc in our budget that I want to make the most of. I know of Creating Change, the EQ Fed's Summer Meeting, and some random conferences by the LGBTQ Task Force, but what are ones I am missing?? [more inside]
What are the states that have a statewide law protecting gender identity and sexual orientation in public accommodations under state law? Many articles I read cite "several states" but I don't know which states.
I live in the Deep South; everyone goes to the beach for vacation. I hate the beach in the summertime (it is way too hot). Where should my wife & go on vacation this summer? I would like a cold, deep lake to swim in, hiking trails, and some privacy. She would like a cottage or cabin on said lake. Would prefer an area that is LGBT friendly (will settle for agnostic), and that we can get to on Delta (we have vouchers to burn).
Basically only ever men show any interest in me, ever. I can go to a party where like 95% of people aren't straight and of course it'll be the two straight guys there that talk to me. Only guys ever message me or respond to my messages on okcupid. Honestly I don't really want anything to do with men, but it's so disheartening I feel like I'll basically have to get into a relationship with a man if I want any kind of companionship at all. I want to know what I should be doing differently like do I need a makeover or change my attitude or what? [more inside]
I am looking for a song for a female vocalist to sing during the middle of a series of speeches at an upcoming marriage equality rally I am planning for SCOTUS decision day. (Music kind of breaks up the monotony of these types of things) [more inside]
Mrs. Timp and I have become very interested in becoming foster parents in the next 6-12 months. I have read every many foster parent threads on this website but haven't found the answer to my question. [more inside]
I need to buy a costume to fit a character who is a young gay man living in the early 80s. Looking for ideas or reference images. More details inside. [more inside]
I've never tried to book a hotel room during an event as big as SF pride and I'm having difficulties finding somewhere for 5 or 6 people to stay 45 days in advance. Our fav motel (Becks Motor Lodge) is full for Pride Weekend (June 27th+28th). Most other places seem to be as well. General or SF-specific tips for finding a room for the night would be really helpful. [more inside]
I am a 31yo queer woman who is considered fairly masculine presenting in my daily life (I am frequently addressed as "sir" by waiters, customer service people, etc, and many never realize their mistake). I'm headed to Cameroon for the first time for a business/research trip and I want to be received well, which I unfortunately suspect means changing my gender presentation. I would love tips and tricks, and support, particularly for people who have been to West Africa before. [more inside]
My partner wants to get a new job and would like advice for what kind of jobs / industries / job titles to look for. We are in southwest michigan right now, but my partner wants to build skills they could take elsewhere in the country in a few years. After graduating college with an English degree, my partner got a job through a temp agency, and is ready to move on. But neither of us are knowledgeable about what jobs they might be qualified for. Hopes and dreams inside [more inside]
I am working on diversifying my pop culture experience and am feeling limited by what Netflix thinks I should watch. Please recommend some of your favorite movies, TV shows, and documentaries streaming on Netflix that would help me expand my pop culture diet - especially if they are directed by/acted by/about women, people of color, and people outside the upper middle class New York/LA milieu.
Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
My oldest child, age 12, has recently come out as transgender. We are trying to show her our unconditional support, but her grandparents are unlikely to be as supportive. Suggestions for coping? Difficulty: Asian and Catholic. [more inside]
How do you reconcile the person you loved at the start with the not-so-nice actions they did to lead to the end of the relationship? How do you stop yourself from feeling stupid/hurt/betrayed/unable to trust? [more inside]
I am a 23 year old woman who recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend (32 yr old) whom I dated for 18 months. I cannot stop obsessing that it was the wrong decision even though there were many reasons why we wouldn't have worked. Is this normal or a sign I'm making a mistake? [more inside]
I have made the decision that I want to change careers to become a counsellor (talking therapist) and I'd additionally like to specialise my therapy (but not exclusively) in gender and sexual identity issues. What study paths should I follow to turn this ambition into a specific plan? I never went to university after leaving school - so I would like to go back into academic education and get a degree while working towards this career rather than just doing a vocational course. Difficulty level: UK. [more inside]
Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
I'm mid 30s, gay, currently working in Adelaide, South Australia (my work takes me all over the globe, so some context). I'm wanting to explore my sexuality, but I am wondering if I should visit a doctor to get some vaccinations for STDs? (I've been reading about HPV on ask.mefi) [more inside]
I'm questioning my (female) gender identity. I am looking for online resources, maybe a forum or online community that is specifically ftm or has specific ftm threads/conversations. I've combed reddit but the format of reddit feels less like a conversation and I don't feel comfortable posting there. Links I have found to specific resources are surprisingly mostly out of date or MtF specific. [more inside]
My longtime friend of more than 20 years is having a formal cocktail party to celebrate his recent engagement to his partner. The invite says no gifts, but I definitely plan to bring a gift. This friend is very special to me. Given this is an LGBT couple (not sure that really matters here, isn't a cocktail party a cocktail party whether it's a gay or straight couple?) I would appreciate your gift ideas. Thank you!
Family member asked me to help Christian dude struggling with gay feelings. After agreeing to meet him I see his beliefs are way more extreme than I'm comfortable with. What do? [more inside]
My brass quintet is giving its debut recital next month. We all identity as LGBT (and have slight aspirations of trying to get gigs playing at weddings, same-sex or otherwise), and we rehearse on Capitol Hill. At a loss for what to call ourselves. Hope us?
I'm not sure how to ask this question. I've been in a weird funk lately where I've been feeling lonely and frustrated due to many factors. I guess I am just having a quarter life crisis in that I am 25 and feel a little lost professionally and personally. [more inside]
Looking for something in between gowns and suits. [more inside]
I got married last year (!). My husband and I are both queer, and both have a history of same-sex relationships before we met one another. This hasn't caused any problems in our own relationship, but it’s causing some unexpected confusion at our LGBT-friendly church. [more inside]
Which websites, blogs, forums, etc, should I be following to be kept in the loop regarding new releases in international LGBTQ[etc] cinema? [more inside]
I am a cis-female in my late 20s, and I've considered myself straight for most of my life. Around my mid 20s I started to realize that I had a secret desire for a woman to come on to me as a sexy fantasy, but still aligning myself as straight. However this desire slowly grew and I started to have intense dreams of having sex with women and now I really want to make this happen in reality. I have no idea how to approach this. [more inside]
Hey Hivemind, I was wondering if anyone could point me to accounts and/or resources about the current social and political climate for LGBT people in Malaysia? [more inside]
I've just had an article published nationally, and oh boy is that addictive and fun! I want to do more, so I need ideas to pitch! I'm looking for some tweeters and some Facebook groups and posters to follow who will have awesome kink/womens'/sex-positive/sex-work/trans/lgbt/poly/etc news, criticism and analysis. Feminist and socialist feeds also a plus. Many thanks, hive mind!
Can you point me toward resources or support groups for crossdressers in Milwaukee? [more inside]
I really want to find out more about the history and progress of LGBT rights. Namely, early forms and social codes to express homosexuality, the civil rights movements and how psychology viewed before and now, and what led to finally removing homosexuality as a disorder from the DSM. [more inside]
I would love to read an LGBT blog that's more substantive than the usual fare of today's politics and pop culture. It could cover all kinds of topics, as long as it was through an LGBT lens. Ideal would be The Toast's LGBT posts with more male and genderqueer voices (but no less feminist). A close second would be something like Ta-Nehisi Coates' blog, written by someone queer. What's out there? [more inside]
When leaving is terrifying, but staying's unbearable: please help me figure out what to do. [more inside]