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Feels like I'm 15 again

I'm in my early thirties, bisexual/queer and just ended a decade-long relationship with a cisgendered man. I'm starting to date women but haven't had sex with a woman in a decade and didn't have a lot of experience even then. I have always been a visible part of the LGBT community and most people assume I'm a lesbian, which makes people think I have more sexual experience with women than I do. I'm basically nervous about not knowing what to do anymore and being bad in bed. Questions are as follows: Should I disclose this lack of recent experience to the women I'm starting to casually date and have sex with? How can I stop being so nervous, which I know won't help? And: what does real-life lesbian safer sex look like when you're an adult and not a 23 year old with no sense of risk?
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2014 - 8 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what?

I'm 45, female and just discovered I'm bi. Now what? Yes, I know it seems unlikely, and the nearest I can figure is my arousal/desire for every single one of my lovers has occurred after being desired, rather than finding someone hot in advance. I was married for a very long time, and possibly oblivious to any gay come-ons, in my premarital time. For the sake of the information I seek, can we please assume that I am correct - that I am bi, and that this wasn't just experimental? (which has been suggested to me by a straight friend). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2013 - 23 answers

Lesbian overthinks her gender expression. News at 11.

I'm a 22-year-old lesbian. I have never made any effort to look hot, but suddenly I want to, and it's raising some serious identity issues for me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2012 - 65 answers

No, no, I'm not attracted to women! I just find women attractive!

Mid-20s, female, sort of starting to wonder if I might maybe be bi, kind of hating on myself over it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2012 - 38 answers

Follow through

How do I sleep with a woman? If I am a late 20's woman who has never done so before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2012 - 11 answers

Lesbian bars in Chicago?

Looking for a lesbian/bisexual lady bar in Chicago. I'm in my mid-20s and looking to meet other women. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 29, 2012 - 6 answers

As a gay woman, when is it okay to pursue a straight woman?

I am a gay female in my late 20s who has understood my own sexuality for as long as I can remember and has been out to all of my friends for many years. My orientation is certainly not anything I would consider a defining characteristic about myself. The kind of profession I am in, the kind of experiences I have had and my life goals have greatly shaped who I am as a person, and have absolutely nothing to do with who I am attracted to. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2011 - 42 answers

Straight girl, but scared of boys

I'm a straight female, I think, but I'm terrified of dicks. And for the past few months, I've been wondering if I'm gay, but the thought scares me. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2011 - 43 answers

Be prepared.

Help me stock my house for 24-hr sex-a-thon. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 29 answers

What is my sexual orientation?

Am I a lesbian? Bisexual? Or, straight but asexual? Please help. I am, obviously, very confused. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2011 - 33 answers

Is there any going back?

I think I'm a lesbian. I'm married. I have no gay friends. My family is Conservative Christian. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2011 - 46 answers

FWB: Can I save this friendship from my own regret?

Ex-FWB: I really want to be friends again, but I'm too disgusted, and it's not his fault. What now? A follow-up to this question. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2011 - 35 answers

Transgender people and pregnancy, babies, kids?

My partner and I are a lesbian couple. One half of our happy couple is pregnant with our first child, the other half is a transsexual woman, and because of that we have been able to conceive a child that is genetically related to both of us. We know one other couple in the world who has dealt with these issues. Is anyone else out there? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2011 - 17 answers

Same-sex Split

My same-sex partner and I have separated (to my shock and opposition) after a few years of hard financial times. While I am holding out hope that she will come to her senses, I need help deciding on what to do (especially regarding our house) in case we can't resolve our issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2011 - 9 answers

I prefer chicks, but please, validate me with your penis.

I'm 21, mostly lesbian, and kind of insecure. It's very rare that I can attract a girl, and so I "settle" for (and encourage) male attention to feel better about myself. Tell me how to stop. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2011 - 16 answers

Books for unaccepting parents

Please help me compile a list of PFLAG-style books for someone. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2011 - 6 answers

Gay for a day?

I consider myself straight, but am interested in having sex with a girl just to see what it's like. I am under the impression that lesbians are not big fans of people like me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2011 - 21 answers

Vanilla bean's dream of playing for the other team!

Where's all the awesome girl-on-girl erotica/porn? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2011 - 15 answers

What do you give the girl who has everything?

I have just been seduced by a relatively older, more experienced, kinky woman who's keen to show me the darker side of pleasure. I'm a relatively inexperienced younger woman. What could I do so that *she* gets some fun out of it too? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 18 answers

LGBT scene in the Twin Cities for a woman in her 30s

Woman in early 30s coming out as a lesbian for the first time in the Twin Cities. What's the city LGBT scene like? (Asking for a friend.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2010 - 5 answers

Where to meet ladies who like other ladies in the Windy City

GetMeTheHellOutOfTheHouseFilter: I need to get out badly, I need a temporary escape from the insanity I'm in right now. My fantasy? To go somewhere and be straight up hit on by a lady (who likes other ladies (who are butch-ish (as in I will not be seen in pink ever, but can't fix my own car))). And this needs to happen in Chicago. Please help!!! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2010 - 10 answers

Awkward Girl tribulations

I'm a queer girl who would like to ask another queer girl out on a date. I have never done this before. How do I do this without being stupid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2010 - 12 answers

I don't know how to be gay.

I'm a twenty year old gay woman. For 2010, I want to learn how to flirt with other women. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2009 - 15 answers

Lesbian assault help

My first lesbian experience quickly became assault. What do I do to take care of myself now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2009 - 18 answers

Sex toy reuse?

Is it squicky to reuse sex toys with a new lover? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2009 - 27 answers

How can I explore and stay safe while doing it?

As a woman, how can I have safe sex with another woman? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2009 - 8 answers

She likes me, but does she *like* me like me?

Late start at dating, and I'm worried that I don't/can't express attraction on dates or around people I like. Halp! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2009 - 8 answers

Previously straight-acting queer girl needs the dating 411!

I have a first date with a girl coming up, which is awesome and I'm psyched. Only... I've never dated girls before! Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2009 - 9 answers

Who's my lover?

So, women-who-have-sex-with-women, what do you consider having had sex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2009 - 23 answers

Not gay, or at least, probably not.

I'm straight, but I've been seeing this girl. She's beautiful and a socialite and I've been feeling conflicted about being seen in public together. More inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2009 - 32 answers

How do I tell a guy I'm dating that I'm really a lesbian?

Lesbian-dating-a-man-filter. When should I tell a guy that I'm dating that I've only ever dated girls before? And how? And does it even matter? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2009 - 35 answers

"Mother dearest"

What is a lesbian daughter to do, when the mode and extent of her mother's display of affection becomes "too much"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2009 - 31 answers

Dyke seeks suit.

Lesbian seeks men's (or men's-like) suit in Montréal ASAP. Other non-location-specific genderqueer shopping advice appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 27, 2009 - 3 answers

Should I not be a serial monogamist with the one waiting in the wings?

Lesbian monogamy filter: I am really just a hopeless romantic no matter how hard I try not to be? Should I not move right on to the one waiting in the wings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2009 - 16 answers

What should I do about being involuntarily outed at work?

I'm about to be involuntarily outed as a bisexual at work. What should I expect? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 27, 2009 - 25 answers

Where can I have a threesome in LA?

How can I safely experiment sexually, like in a club or other group setting? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2009 - 11 answers

How to get over my lesbian crush

I'm a married woman and I developed a maddening crush on another woman. Now I can't figure out how to get on with my otherwise really happy life and wonderful husband. Help me sort this out! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2008 - 17 answers

Yar! Bare yer booty, wench!

Sexyfilter: Lesbian role-play ideas, bonus points for kinky. Yes, really. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 27, 2008 - 12 answers

I think I'm straight. Now what?

After a long time in a lesbian relationship, I'm coming to the realization that I think I'm straight. I don't want to leave my wife (I really love her), but I can't stop thinking about men. Please help me figure this out. Sexually explicit details inside. NSFW [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2008 - 23 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my relationship.

Help me sort out my feelings about the relationship I’m in because I just can’t seem to figure it out. (long and complicated - sorry!) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2007 - 23 answers

What am I?

I am confused about my sexuality. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2007 - 25 answers

What do you do with a new bisexual (maybe), earlaay in the maaarning...

I identify as a lesbian. Friends have recently begun discussing the fact that they think that that I'm bisexual. I honestly don't know if they're right. Help me find good essays/books/etc, preferably online, that deal with some of these issues... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2007 - 22 answers

If blowjobs bug me, should I avoid dating men? I'm female.

If blowjobs bug me, should I avoid dating men? I'm female. [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2007 - 58 answers

Why don't I feel like fucking my hot girlfriend anymore?

Lesbian Bed Death... what gives? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2006 - 15 answers

How to help teenagers in a violent relationship?

Can I help two teenagers in a violent relationship when they don't seem particularly interested in being helped? One of the teenagers lives with me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2006 - 15 answers

Help me get out of this closet before the house burns down!

I've never dated a girl before. Where do I start? Oh, and I am one, too... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2006 - 24 answers

Can a sperm donor get immigration?

Can a non-Canadian man donate sperm to a Canadian lesbian couple and use that child as justification to apply for immigration? Furthermore, once his immigration goes through, can the non-carrying lesbian adopt the child and be a legal parent? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2006 - 17 answers

Help me cure lesbian bed-death!

Help me cure lesbian bed-death. Lesbians and non-lesbians alike are welcome to reply. It's a not-so-funny joke in the gay community that a few months into a serious relationship. lesbians stop having sex. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and, although we talk about sex (especially how much we miss it!) we don't have sex. Maybe once a month, possibly less often than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2005 - 13 answers

How did you come out?

How did you come out to your parents / friends / family?
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2005 - 34 answers

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