Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with leaving

Scared of going to prison due to tax payments. Need advice...

Anonymous — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:11:31 -0800

Scared of going to prison due to tax payments. Need advice... Please note:
*I was based in the UK.

*I know my spelling and grammar is terrible, I have learning difficulties.

* I now live in a EU country

I recently ran a company for 2 years, 1st year went very well and paid all the taxe for the company, myself and the staff contributions. 2nd year I was hit hard due to rates rising and customers going bankrupt. Which left me in no position to lay-off all the staff and leave the company premises. I tried to keep the company running but was failing to keep up with loan repayments and tax. I barely had enough to survive to pay the bills. I notified companies house that I will no longer be trading in the UK. They asked to write them a letter and I managed to get my accountant to sort out. However taxes was owed to the tax man in which I cannot close the company. There is no chance of getting out of it without declaring myself bankrupt. Which in my proffession means I cannot become a professional in that field anymore. I cannot risk this.

So I decided to move abroad to a country in Europe to start fresh. I left all my personal debt behind for personal loans which started up the company in the first place. My old company will becoming struck-off soon as lack of communication. I have been living abroad for about 8 months, starting up from scratch. Same again, finding it hard to pay bills but without owing anyone where I live. (I will no longer loan money). However I recieved a letter from one of the banks that I owe £800 too, I had not left any information of my wareabouts. They have thretened to take my belongings (Which I don't have any, apart from clothes and work computer). I'm baffled on how they found my address.

I owe approx: £30,000 spread out between banks, loans and credit cards. I leave no bad debt for my company apart from the 2nd year tax in which I lost everything.

I owe approx £3,000 in tax. I had to pay my old staff by selling equipment in the office. Nothing left on the old company is left.

My question is:

* Can the money I owe in the UK get shifted to my countries debt handlers? and risk bailiffs at my door?

* My debt: I have been told if I leave the UK for more than 5 years. The money owed will be cleared. However I have to stay annonoymous in my new address. Is this true?

* I know my company is being struck off in the UK, but the tax I owe. Can I risk getting jailtime for this?

* If I visit family in the UK could I be arrested?

* If I become a registered resident of the new EU country. Could I be tracked by other owed banks in the UK?

Bankrupsy isnt an option :(

I'm having sleepless nights over this and feel like its the end of the road.

I really appriciate any serious response, I know I'm bad for owing money to the banks. But that money was personal to setting up the company in the 1st place.

Leaving.

Anonymous — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:56:20 -0800

I'm graduating. I'm leaving my girlfriend and will be far away from her, and we both don't have the option to be close for the next two years. Hence, it's ending. Any advice for feeling better? It varies recently... we decided about a week ago that it makes sense to break up when I leave. She's going abroad (the other side of the planet) next semester, and I have a job a few hours from school. She's a sophomore, and we've been dating for a semester, and it's the best we've ever experienced, happy and healthy and fun. I love her, not in the tragic Romeo&J sense, or in the must-marry sense (I hate those sense), but in the this-is-a-person-I-love sense.

But we're going our ways, and it makes sense to go those ways and remember this as a wonderful time instead of hanging on and this possibly becoming one of those strained relationships that flickers out. I think in a year I might look back and say it's the right decision, but it's damn hard to think right now.

I'd like to tell her that, in two years, if she's in the area and would like, we could get tea or something. Is that a bad idea?

I feel okay recently when I'm with her or with friends, but alone I start to feel apocalyptic. I hate that we're already talking about 'our relationship' in the past tense.

Part of asking this is just in the asking, but please, I'd appreciate any words of wisdom in this situation. I know that the rest of my life won't be tragic and terrible, but leaving the best relationship behind as well as lots of other friendships (and constantly being reassured that since I have a high-paying job, I should be happy) is killing me a little.

Thanks.

Options for medium-term pet care?

jpg15 — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:17:51 -0800

What are my options for caring for 2 cats while I'm out of the country for months at a time? I have 2 cats who I care for well and have plenty of affection for. Unfortunately, I've taken a job that will involve sporadic periods of travel, lasting 3-6 months. Besides asking a close friend or neighbor for (several) really big favors, what other options to I have?

roommate's leaving. any chance of negotiationg a way to keep the place myself but with a lower rent for single occupancy?

bartleby — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:56:44 -0800

Longtime roommate is moving out, and I'm not so hot on getting a new one. Any tips on the possibility of negotiating a rent decrease based on single-occupancy vs. double? So I've had the same roommate for many years. But she's moving out to live with her boyfriend (not a temporary thing).

We had each other pretty well "trained", and so I'm not that enthusiastic about getting another roommate.

But I'm also not that enthusiastic about doubling my rent either. As much as I really like our current place, it's a bit too pricey to carry all by myself for more than a few months while I decide what to do.

So I'm thinking, if anyone has ever negotiated with a landlord (amicably, he's a nice fellow ans has treated us right) and had any success on a "there were two people in the unit paying X dollars a month, now that there's only one tenant, any chance of knocking a couple hundred dollars off the rent?" type deal, could you give me any hints?

I'd like to stay put, but not at the current price. A couple hundred dollars a month either way is the difference between keeping the place or moving elsewhere that's cheaper but not so nice.

I'm in San Francisco, which has a notoriously tight (read: insane) rental market, but I figure it couldn't hurt to ask. But I also figure it couldn't help to get any pointers that the hive mind might be able to give me first.

lil' help?

Un-crate our dog?

traceymariel — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 08:52:37 -0800

I have a bichon frise/shih tzu mix dog named Beatrix who is a little over 1 year old. She is crate trained and has no problem with going into the crate when my husband leaves for work. She spends no more than 5 hours in the crate a day while we are at work. Next week my husband's work hours will be changing and this will mean that Beatrix will be at home for 8 hours alone while we are at work. Unfortunately we cannot afford to hire a dog walker. We are thinking about leaving her out of the crate since it seems like a significantly longer time to keep her cooped up. Is this the best thing to do? If so, how should we go about it? When my husband starts to get ready to leave for work, she automatically goes and sits in her crate without being told. She does have slight separation anxiety with me, maybe because I am the one who always lets her out of the crate when I get home from work but hardly ever am the one to leave her in the crate.

Leaving Academia after my Phd in Astrophysics

gradstu1980 — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:38:01 -0800

Wanting to leave academia after astrophysics PhD (oscillations in atmospheres of rotating starts, planets and discs). Need some feedback, tags, hints, keywords, that I should search in google and some suggestions of where my skills (look in the extended explanation) would be appreciated. After searching the net, there are some jobs I can apply to but given my lack of experience in the industry I'm afraid I won't be able to get any job in few months (before starting to die of hunger).

So I'm gonna mention some of my skills and I would like just few words, hints, whatever, I can type on google and I can see if I may be good doing that in the industry, R&D, IT, NGOs, government, hospitals, you name it.

1.- You give me a differential equation (PDE) and I solve it numerically either using spectral methods (expanding the solution in set of polynomials), or finite differences.

2.- I Program in Fortran (i know, it is obsolete in the industry but my research group used to work on it), C (I used it during my undergrad and before my qualifying exam for everything I needed), perl, mathematica. I guess I am very confident about making any algorithm, so moving towards other program languages could be easy if needed and if employers give me a week or so to study on my own any other.

3.- Used computer clusters; I did basic proccesor2processor communication algorithms, I mainly used the clusters to use lots of processors at the same time thou,without letting them know each other.

4.- As any PhD graduate (I'm being humble :) )from the physical sciences I have strong analytic skills, very strong. I didn't work with statistics, but I can get into them in no time, I understand all the basics, and since I'm good with calculus and algebra and interpretation I think I can get into any statistician job.

5.- Following 4, I can give talks, and work in groups and by mylself.

6.- I know the very basic IT knowledge (although I always had problems remembering the technical terminology), like Linux, Windows (Office, webpage making, excel, etc), latex, hardware, and I can create nice 3d animations using different software.

7.- 3 publications in astrophysics (theory), + thesis, so I guess I can write.

8.- Bilingual (Spanish, English).

Well, that's pretty much it.

I would also want to know if I should apply to entry-level jobs to gain some experience and not to suffer the big crush of the transition. But I'm quite convinced that some of the techniques I was using may be appreciated in the R&D sector, like computational fluid dynamics (aerospace and car industries).

I am really sure to leave Academia, there is no go back, although my research turns out to be a very good contribution for science, I don't have the strength to keep pushing and relocate for a badly payed postdoc, that maybe be working as hard as anyone in the industry. I've been living in poverty since I left high-school and I'm tired of it (I'm 28). I don't feel like I need to be doing science to be happy, just I need to use my brain and I will be happy in any work (that pays reasonably well, but I am not as greedy in order to go to wallsteet and get crazy making money with no life).

And I am very flexible to go everywhere in the world for a job (I am currently in Canada).

So guys, please, where do I start searching.

Thank you very much.

p.d.: I am not willing to get more education (I did educate myself in many areas, my supervisor and colleagues helped very little, so I guess I gain too much confidence in my own learning skills), so no MBA, law or MScs for me, I need to do stuff. After my PhD, degrees means nothing to me (and I guess for employers they mean nothing too), I did it cause I used to love science, but as many others, I got burned, and I got pragmatic with time.

What a way to make a living...

ticktockdoc — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:41:08 -0800

I have questions about finding a new job whilst working my current one ~~and hating it~~. And changing careers. And what to say to recruiters so that I don't end up in an office environment like this again. And questions about references. Sigh. Oh and guilt. I questioned last week about calling in sick while Boss was on hols, (but really came into the office, wherein I looked like I was mitching...) I relaxed [thanks everybody for advice!]. However. Coworker later said he'd asked her to spy/keep an eye on my days off while he was away and report back to him. Considering I was genuinely sick and it was my fifth sick day [all with certs] in 18 months, his behaviour is unacceptable IMHO. He is naturally suspicious [expolice officer] and angsty about his recent [3months] promotion to office manager, but getting someone I work with to spy on me? No. I've had longstanding problems with the work environment that I've always let slide. Until now. Time for a new job.

I plan using many different job agencies. Do I tell them the real reasons why I'm leaving, or do I make up something generic like 'I need a new direction'?
I also want to avoid ending up in a similar office environment, where the work ethic is beyond unreasonable, how do I stress this without sounding lazy or unwilling to work? I feel recruiters will focus on only finding me a position so they can get a comission, etc. During any interviews I attend, I'm really going to make an effort to suss out the prospective employer/office/etc.

Background reasons why I'm leaving also include:
a) Lunch hour is NOT observed [you only get to leave the office/take an hour if all the work is done. If it's a busy day, no lunch break for you. You're allowed to pop to the shop to get a sandwich, 5mins max]. If the no-lunch happens for 5 days of the week, then tough, we're busy.
b) Coworker [fellow admin, aged 45], who's been there 20+ years has to do every. single. task. herself. and is infuriatingly know-it-all, patronising and an utter workaholic. She's known not to take lunch/tea/bathroom breaks for the full day if there's dictation to type, and expects the same from you.
c) I start at 9:00. I do NOT want to feel guilty or late if I arrive at 8:30 or, shock horror, 8:50! It's not my problem that Boss has been in since 7:30 or that admin coworker likes to arrive at 8:00 [she should start at 9:00 too], flys through all the work for both of us, then brag about it.
e) If coworker is on leave, I've to do BOTH sets of work - which one person can't physically do. But then I look incompetant when the situation is reversed and coworker can do the work [by forgoing lunch/tea/bathroom breaks/breathing]

So far, I've kept the peace and played along. The money is good for a 25 year old who never went to college [raises hand] and there are many people who'd die for a regular, long-term 9-5. But spying? No. Being worked to the absolute bone? No.

I'm starting a night-time honours degree in Computing which will last three years. Any tips on what *type* of offices an admin/touchtypist might apply to, given what I'm learning at night? I'm good with and interested in computers, but have no formal qualifications [that's what this degree is for].

Also, references. The old boss is in a new line of work [loss assessor], but regularly speaks with new boss [loss adjuster]. Old boss was awesome and I know will give me a super reference. But I don't plan on handing in my notice until I have a job offer in writing. I've to work a month's notice [ugh] and hope to get a decent reference from new boss too. How do I handle that one? "Old boss? Will you give me a reference and not tell new boss I'm actively looking for a new job, even though you'll meet new boss on inspections?"

And... any help at the lingering guilt over not being able to hack a work environment like that? I feel coworker [and boss and other staff] look down on me for not being in 10 places at once. I'm trying to shrug it off and know deep down I'm a very good worker. And I'm being proactive by seeking out a better position. But there's this guilt still.

She might leave for a job for good. How do I enjoy the month until I find out?

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:17:04 -0800

She might be leaving for good in one month, or not leaving at all. We find out in one month. How do I not ruin the next month for myself and her by being miserable about it? We've only been dating a few months, but we were getting really close and enjoying that "honeymoon period" of a new relationship when something very unexpected came up. She entered a contest on a whim before we started going out. She got contacted that she is in the running with a handful of other people for what amounts to a full-time job in another country. She is thrilled and really hopes she gets it. It is a ridiculously good opportunity. It would be like winning the career lottery for her line of work. I fully support her, but I can't help but be ambivalent because this would mean the end of our relationship. I told her, and she understands. It's just one of those strange things that you don't expect. Following her after only three months would be foolish obviously. And I have some crazy opportunities of my own in this city I have to stick around for. And it would be a 24hr+ bus or $500 flight so visiting on weekends isn't really an option either.

So in any case, the thing isn't a guarantee, but she has an extremely good chance and I can't stop thinking about it and it's making me more miserable than I'm letting on to her. We're living in a beautiful city, it's summer, and all I want to do is hang out, have fun sexytimes, and enjoy it.

The first thing that stands in the way of that is the understandable sadness about likely losing someone I'm becoming attached to. I'm not an aloof guy. It's been almost three years since I felt this close to someone and I barely dated in between. When I fall I fall hard and fast.

The second is the thought of being on my own again. I'll be thirty-one this year and I'm tired of being lonely. So tired of it. It makes me sad. And although I totally feel like I'm a catch, I have a very difficult time meeting girls, and a veeeeeery difficult time meeting girls I would want to date. The thought of being on my own again for several months, if not years, makes me pretty despondent. I'm even starting to cry a bit and I'm concerned I'm going to cry in front of her at some point. God damn, I don't want that to happen.

What should I focus on in my mind to not drag the two of us down into a sad hole and ruin what could be a wonderful time together?

Negative repercussions of leaving Fulbright early?

Anonymous — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 12:31:42 -0800

Fulbright Filter: Are there any negative repercussions of leaving one's student Fulbright 10-month period a few months early? How does this work? Do they stop sending you the money? Are you forever on a blacklist for grants?

How best to prepare for boyfriend leaving for 2+ years?

virga — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 20:29:14 -0800

In February, my boyfriend of a few months will be leaving to do a two year stint with the peace corps. We're emphatically in love with each other, and the thought of him leaving my life is absolutely dreadful and deeply saddening. How can I best prepare myself for what is to come? We've only been dating for about four months now, but it's the best relationship that I've been in. He is actually in Thailand for the next couple weeks do conduct research, so this is kind of like a dry-run of what it is like to not have him around as I am used to. We aren't living together, but we do spend nearly every night with each other, just to give you a sense of how common we are to each other. I love him dearly, and I just don't want to loose him.

I haven't wanted to think about him leaving until at least January and just live it up with him until then, but he's pressing me to think about it now so it's something that can be talked about while he's here rather than when he is gone.

I forecast much sadness and longing for myself, and I'm not looking forward to it. Having to balance that with the current day-to-day relationship is interesting, to say the least. What do you think I should do to prepare? I only see us becoming closer in the next couple months.. How can I minimize the sheer suckiness of the situation?

What do I get you?

russmail — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 10:35:26 -0800

SayonaraFilter: I've shared an office with a colleague for 3 years and tomorrow is his last day. I would very much like to get him some sort of sincere gift, but he doesn't drink booze or eat chocolate, so that's both my plans nixed already. To make matters worse... ...he really doesn't have any interests - "what did you do at the weekend?" - "nothing." "What are you doing for the holidays?" - "I dunno." Doesn't listen to music, has a girlfriend of 8 years he never talks about, never goes to the movies. We're friends and we respect each other, and 3 years is a long time to share a space with someone, but we don't hang out after work or anything.

So I guess what I'm saying is, what do you buy the man who has nothing...? In 24hrs...?

Stay or Go?

lunkfish — Sun, 24 Jul 2005 11:48:15 -0800

Shall I leave my job tomorrow? Obviously you can't make the decision for me but I would appreciate anything that can clarify my thinking.

I suppose the underlying question is 'how long should you do something you're not suited for and unhappy in for the sake of future happiness?'

I'm doing an office admin job at the moment, and it involves working in a room on my own all day not talking to anyone. I'm not really suited for a desk job anyway - I've got too much energy, but the aloneness is a killer combo. I'm stuck with my own thoughts all the time, and a constant need to get out of there.

However, the money is good for monkey work and I'm not really qualified to do anything else. I've got a couple of months expenses in the bank and would like leave and find something in a shop or bar for a while but would be looking at half as much and it would be hard to save anything.

I've got a vague plan to go to Canada for a while, but whatever I do next it's good to have some money. However, I've kept myself trapped in this kind of work for a few years cause of money - the question is when do you make the decision that enough is enough.

I'm finding it hard to make a decision, as my confidence is shot a lot of the time, and a lot of anxiety has been building up. I can see that this is just cause of the unnatural situation, but find it hard to think rationally.